DEATH VALLEY DRIVERETTE 552014- SHUJI ISHIKAWA! KOHEI SATO! HASHIMOTOS!

[DEAN]

DRIVERETTE 552014

 

Weekend is over and we are back to ingest as much of THE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING as possible.  I'm still just gonna watch things I comfortably dig for the next few days before venturing out into the THE ODYSSEY of finding new wrestlers to dig.  Or whatever.  We will see what the day beholds.  Yes, behold the thing we dig the most.  Behold the art! 

BEHOLD,  THE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!

 

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@SINGLES

##############################B-SIDES

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$& ALTERNATIVE MIXES

Canadian Club love, a place in the Country- everyone's ideal, but you are my favorita and a place in your heart, dear, makes me feel more real.

 

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ AAA- CHESSMAN vs VILLANO IV- 3/16/2014:  Ha!  Remember when I gave points to the V4/Blue Demon Jr match where there was footage of a Chessamn vs V4 match that SPARKED my interest?  Well, well, well, Mr. Fat Boy Deanie Weinie Bikini Panini, looks like you gotta put your money where your mouth, dumb ass.  There it was.  In my Watch Later Collection on my YouTube account- between all the Dragon Gate I'm never going to watch and all those West Virginia Pro Wrestling that I will today!(1)  LATER! OR TOMORROW!  THURSDAY TOPS!  Anyway, yes, Chessman.  Problematic.  Not horrendous.  He will die for your pleasure.  He's a lot better than Blue Demon Jr.  Probably.  No.  He is a lot better than Blue Demon Jr.  Ah fuck it,  Villano IV can carry anyone.  Let's watch these motherfuckers lock up!  Well, the initial early first caida matwork is far far far less awkward than the Blue Demon match.  Goddam, V4 makes with the Heavier Luchadore Crushing You With Heaviness Tope early and THE LOVE BEGINS.  V4 does a really nice powerslam- that also looks like one of his armdrags, as he is all about being in-ring momentum incarnate.  GOTDAMN, V4 will lean into a chairshot like Masato Tanaka in front of 1,200 Philadelphia girthy reprobates.    Chessman pulls on the mask and FUCK AND YES, V4 IS BLEEDING LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING MOTHERFUCKER.  V4 and Chessman trade punches and then kicks and I await Chessman to take his ass-beating.  They fiddle around and have this spot where Chessman awkwardly runs into the turnbackle, where he obviously blades, just like in the Blue Demon match and- just like the Blue Demon match, it goes from crappy awkward spot for blading to the awesomeness of .... why yes, WE HAVE A BLOODBATH!  So yeah, this is pretty much the Blue Demon match but it's better because it has more blood and Chessman will lean into V4's offense with gusto- as I'm assuming this is the V4 brawl that V4 knows best.  It has the same build to the same basic spots.  The difference- and this is important, Chessman is basically the face in this;  Blue Demon was waaaaaay more effective at getting the crowd to be sympathetic his spewing blood to fight evil.  Blue Demon was totally old school in having V4 beat a mountain of heat onto him and make the fired-up comeback that drove the kids wild.  Chessman doesn't have that moment, so there is a big difference- in that Chessman is better at leaning into stuff and is really good at brawling with V4 in this, but Blue Demon connected more effectively with the crowd through some very basic old school psychology.  I like this match a lot more than the Blue Demon Jr match- don't get me wrong- but it would have been aided by the same grasp of psychology.    V4 is fucking awesome in this- just punching him in the open cut.  Chessman leans into to all of V4's punches and I am digging him a lot more now than before this match started.  Holy shit, V4 does these full Yoshihito Sasake headbutts to a prone Chessman and this match is just tremendous.  Blood is all over the mat and Chessman attacks V4 while he is being checked by the ring-side physician and then does his own fatboy tope onto bedoublebladed V4.  They finally both get back in the ring as blood is every where and they hit some nearfalls- both sell the blood loss by probably not needing to sell all the blood loss.  It leads up to Chessman missing a moonsault that actually feels like a real transition to V4's offence-  as opposed to the worn out spot that it has become.  That's the weight that blood adds to a match.  V4 misses a second rope senton and it all leads up to Chessman hitting a spear for the win- which is pretty perfect ending for the ground up hardass brawling this has.  Maaaan, QUALITY LUCHA LIBRE.    

 

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%BIG JAPAN PRO WRESTLING- KOHEI SATO/ SHUJI ISHIKAWA vs DAICHI HASHIMOTO/ KAZUKI HASHIMOTO- 2/7/2014:  What the FUCK?  How did this get past me?   It's my two favorite tag teams beating the crap out of each other!  I will make a point of being more alert.  Daichi is wearing the headband like his old man.  I hope kicks somebodies lungs into the third row like his old man.  Ooo, it starts in the aisle and it is STIFF!  Man, Kohei Sato will knock your fucking teeth out.  MAAAAAAN, Shuji Ishikawa will fucking KILL YOU.  Well well, it morphs seamlessly into a tag match.  Kazuki begs to tag in and this is going to be fucking BEAUTIFUL.  Kohei Sato just fucking slaughterizes him with forearms. Just SLAUGHTERIZES HIM. Kazuki is awwwwesome as the young bastard who refuses to give Sato any respect.  Thus the story is that Kohie Sato has to beat respect into Kazuki Hashimoto.  That has to be the most glorious sentence I can write about Japanese wrestling in 2014.  They then just kill each other for a few minutes and then Shuji Ishikawa tags in because the match wasn't tripley preposterously stiff yet.  Sato is pretty great being amused and delighted at the fighting spirit of K-Hash.  Shuji tags in and is less amused and is more about trying to break all of Kazuki Hashimoto's ribs.  K-Hash DRAGON SCREWZ TO OFFENSE AND MAKES THE HOT TAG!  D-Hash lays in the leather and then knees Sato in the head to lead up to a SWEET D-Hash EVEREST~! German Suplex.  Sato escapes by shoving his knee into Daichi Hashimoto's stomach really really really really hard.  He then tags in ishikawa because his intenstines didn't actually out of his back yet, Ishikawa seems to want shower the paying customers with Daichi Hashimoto's insides.  En LIEU, Shuji hits two positively-gentle-in-comparison lariats for two.  D-Hash opts to trade forearms with Shuji Ishikawa- which seems crazy because Shuji Ishikawa will fucking bash your head in, but our man Diachi doesn't actually die because he gets in a dropkick- WHO KNEW!- and makes the tag.  K-Hash does the Ohtani-Kanemoto Footscrapes and then kicks Shuji and then drops a fucking COMPLETELY nasty kneedrop right across Ishikawa's face and this match is about as great as I am allowed to get.  Ishikawa blocks a Belly to Belly suplex attempt by crushing Kazuki Hashimoto's skull with his own skull- twice, and hits his own suplex to make the tag and Sato is now seeming to really up the stiffness to some stratopheric, BattlARTSian level.  So yeah, he ups it A LOT.  K-Hash responds and finally takes down Sato and D-Hash does fruity MAsaaki Mochizuuki Super J Cup 94 Run The Ropes Kicks To The Back Of The Head dealy- which kinda like a comedy spot in this match- though nobody told anybody.  They do a bunch of tag wrestling spots I guess to recirculate all the blood that has bashed out of each other's heads.  After Sato hits a comical FALCON fucking ARROW (That's the fourth one I've seen since I started back on these), they go back to crushing each others skulls with forearms and kicks. Sato goes old school with a fucking MAGNIFICENT Lawler Piledriver.  God damn, I couldn't even dream this match.  Sato then hits a fuckin CHOICE total Everest German Suplex for the win.  Goddam, I love me some professional wrestling.  People who don't like Japanese wrestling can go fuck themselves.  Post-match, Kazuki blows kisses at Sato.  So fucking great.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNfjvL0nVo8

 

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& DRAMATIC DREAM TEAM- GOLDEN LOVERS (KOTA IBUSHI/ KENNY OMEGA) vs MICHAEL NAKAZAWA/ TOMOMITSU MATSUNAGA- 3/21/2014:  Golden Lovers is still the best current tag team name in wrestling.(2)  I usualy run far away from good-lookin' fellas that do a lot of highspots (I know.  I'm lying.)  but both of these guys were beaten into my heart by either El Generico or Shugehiro Irie matches.  Nakazawa(3)  and Matsunaga(4) I don't think I've seen- but I prolly have and just don't remember.  I don't know why it takes my so long to get around to the DDT.  My guess-hmmmmm.... prolly..... all the naked male ass.  The Golden Lovers are coated in belts!   Matsunaga and Omega have a pose off so the men who enjoy the love of other men can have their paunts coated in something other than belts!  I like Omega because he uses the moves of a illusionist/magician like his opponents in this match may  use the moves of Judo- as Omega is all flourishy and flamboyount in his selling- and it is pleasing as something that works for no one else but him.  Ibushi tags and looks to accidentally crushed Nakazawa's back and it looks like they are going to make that a story but. Unfortunately.  For me. They head straight to the HILARIOUS! wrestling.  It is  based around Nakazawa and Matsunaga using their body building body oil as the basis of hilarious spot after hilarious spot.  Okay, I'm debating if it takes me longer to get around to watching (non-Shigehiro Irie) DDT because of the naked male ass or the copious amounts of shitty comedy spots.  Namakawa is pretty nifty when not hilarious and Matsunaga hits a pretty nice piledriver on Omega- who sells it like David Copenfield on Ectasy.  Then they trade forearms to the face and Matsunaga hits a really nice buttahflah suplex and THEN! it's back to the hilarity.  And my hatred rises again.  Koata Ibushi goes all gymnastic and I'm hating that.  Oooooooh lordy lordy look whose 40.... this match drifts more and more and more away the tag match I reviewed right above this- so I really don't hate this, PER SE, but it is such a giant plunge downward that I'm having trouble appreciating the NUANCES of the DDT match.  LUCKILY they start really blowing spots so I have an excuse to hate this match.  Well, not hate, just DISMISS this match.  Yeah, this match doesn't work in the context what IIII like in my pro wrestling and it also doesn't work in the context of what iiiiiiit seems to be trying to do. Jesus Christ!  The finish is PREPOSTEROUSLY dangerous.  So you will always have that.  Holy crap! Skip to the finish. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNuEnfdaD38    

-------------------------------

ENDNOTES

1.  Actually. master of  the Chilean Ass-stomper Videos- Momo- posted it in the Internet Best 2014 thread and I saved it from there.  A while ago.  So gauge, in your mind, how long before I get to that Lawler/Gangrel tag match.

2. Nothing comes close.  FUCK YOU, NOTHING COMES CLOSE!

3. I go to the cagematch.net database- the go-to website for researching things of which I am embarrassingly uninformed.  Golly, Michael Nakazawa is 38 years old.  He did a slight DDP by starting in the ring at 30.  He knows the Judo.  

4. I go to the cagematch.net database- the go-to website for researching things of which I am embarrassingly uninformed. Golly, Tomomitsu Matsunaga is 33 years old.  He knows the Judo and was trained by motherfucking Dick motherfucking Togo.  

 

TOMORROW:  That other stuff I'm watching!  Fat guys!