SirSmUgly

OK, after spending a total of ten hours in Mario Kart World, I feel comfortable saying that it's my favorite Mario Kart since the original largely because I've been bored with Mario Kart since then. That is not to say that I don't like Mario Kart games. I've played most of them between the SNES original and World. It's just that the 50cc > 100cc > 150 cc > etc. formula is old and tired. I think the transforming vehicle gimmick would have worked better for me if I hadn't already played a lot of Sonic and Sega Transformed, which I believe did that gimmick first. The Balloon Battle competitive multiplayer is awesome, obviously, so I need to shout that out as well. Even then, Mario Kart has been that same gameplay loop forever: Do the cups, then do them faster. The Free Roam mode changes all that. In fact, my big complaint about it is that it doesn't feel as fleshed out as it could be. However, that mode is so good that frankly, I went through each cup once on 50cc and haven't bothered to move on to 100cc because I'm too busy exploring the world and trying to get good enough at wall riding and charge jumping to pull off tricks and collect everything. That mode is not only an excellent tutor for the Grand Prix mode, but it is incredibly fun as a exploration-based platformer in its own right.

Halloween Havoc ’97 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/7/#findComment-1297006 The opener between Ultimo Dragon and Yuji Nagata was interesting. At first, it felt a bit meandering, but at one point, Tenay mentions floating bone chips in Dragon’s arm, and not long after that, Nagata counters a top-rope rana by knocking Dragon to the apron and then draping his arm across the cables. That played into a great finish where Dragon locked on the Dragon Sleeper for the second time, but Nagata quickly and easily slips out and locks on a nasty armbar for the submission win. Post-match, Onoo puts Dragon out of wrestling with a kick, which I guess means that Dragon was headed back to Japan or Mexico for the upcoming future. Besides some sweet Nagata kicks, the best move in the match was a fan using his sign to revive Dragon after Dragon hit a moonsault to the floor and tumbled down the aisle. How thoughtful! Disco risks making some casual misogynistic remarks while cutting an interview backstage, so Jacquelyn comes to the table and tries to give Disco the business. Jackie's wearing a sweet Harlem Heat-themed bit of wrestling gear. It's Gedo?! Of Jado and Gedo?! OK, sure! Ah, he's wrestling Chris Jericho. They just threw this match on the card, which makes sense because this card seemed like it was missing a match or two compared to other PPV cards around this time. Tenay puts Gedo over on commentary, and while TNA Tenay was a joke and the man isn't a very good lead PBP man, he is perfect in his role as secondary knowledgeable PBP/commentator hybrid in a three-person booth. I prefer three-person booths to two-person booths, but you have to be wise about how you book the two color commentator roles, or it can be awful. This is a four-man booth for the early matches as both Dusty and Heenan are there along with Tony S., but even though sometimes Dusty and Heenan are quiet for awhile, it still works. Oh, the match! It's fine. Gedo is a dick and Jericho is a fiery babyface, and both men play their roles well. Jericho's not a good enough athlete to do that top-rope Frankensteiner, though. The match sort of gets ugly after that spot, though I did like Gedo's kneebreaker reversal. Gedo badly misses a top-rope dive, like he wasn't even close to Jericho, and submits to the Lion Tamer. They show the botched Frankensteiner again for some reason on replay. Tenay tried to sell it as Gedo blocking it, but Jericho was the one who crawled over and tried to get the cover after it happened. Hey, they can't all be winners, but no need to show it again! Debra correctly tells Gene Okerlund that he talks too much, and therefore, this interview was a success. Mongo storms in and wants his money back from Debra, but that didn't really work for Randy Savage w/r/t Elizabeth. Mongo should know since he spent some of that money as a Horseman. There's not much I can say about one of the greatest matches to take place on American soil ever. Rey Misterio Jr. and Eddy Guerrero put on an all-time classic. I genuinely don't know how any booker worth his salt could watch this match and not think that he has two future main eventers. Rey's not the greatest on the mic, but he's fine and is the perfect fiery, never-say-die babyface. He's basically Ricky Steamboat for that era. Eddy is an elite heel and a pretty great face, though in fairness he only became a great face in his WWE run. Still, these two are clearly money and guys that you should build a company around. For as much as Vinnie Jr. gets shit for not pushing guys who are smaller, etc., even he mostly understood the money that was in these two. Misterio couldn't even get to U.S. Championship status in WCW, if I recall correctly. They had this guy in the mix for the Cruiserweight Tag Team Championship instead of in Hugh Morrus's spot. I digress, but only because there's nothing else to say about the tight work, wild counters, and despicable heel Eddy getting his comeuppance that hasn't been said before. Hogan and Bischoff do a kayfabe version of Shawn Michaels declaring the workplace to be entirely unsafe and refusing to wrestle unless Bret Hart Sting isn't allowed back in the building. This thing goes on FOREVER, though. Geez, man, they needed to fill some time this PPV, didn't they? Debra is out here with Alex Wright, which is a downer. I was hoping for Goldberg after the go-home Nitro. Wright/Mongo's not the worst matchup, and they did plant some seeds for Debra first abhorring and then being desperate enough to turn to Wright weeks ago, but I wanted to see Goldberg/Mongo. BOOOOO. Wright's jacket is dope. However, his snazzy jacket probably isn't going to make him the favorite against Mongo. He does manage to outwrestle the guy for the most part, but Mongo has the POWAAAAA. They have an okay match, but the end is the best part, as we get GOLDBEEEERG running in after Mongo hits a Tombstone and spearing and Jackhammering Mongo right behind the distracted ref who SOMEHOW hears and feels none of Goldberg murdering Mongo. The guy refuses to turn around! I mean, if it were on the other side of the ring, okay, I could suspend my disbelief, but come on. They should have had a ref knockout instead. Anyway, Goldberg is paid with Mongo's Super Bowl ring for killing Mongo. Goldberg kills Wright post-match just for fun. Whatever, as dumb as the ref distraction came off, I still enjoyed the match. Now Savage and Liz are backstage to talk about stuff. By "stuff," I mean "Page." Also, Liz doesn't really talk, per the typical routine. Savage manages to promote Slim Jim while cutting his promo. What a professional. Disco gets to do a solid stalling heel act here in his match against Jacquelyn. Quality work on his part. A DISCO SUCKS chant fires up even though people enjoyed dancing like goofs during his entrance five minutes ago. The desk has been terrible during this match talking about Hogan's walkout instead of helping to build the anticipation of Jackie getting her hands on Disco. She finally does (and gets two on a sunset flip). I was going to say something about Jackie not wearing, like, a sports bra or a top that would be more functional, but I didn't want to get all Smellynetico, and sure enough, her boob came out on a drop-toehold. The crowd popped for it, as did the desk. They do a great spot where Disco circles the ring, and Jackie's just smart enough to wait at a cutoff point and catch him. She beats his ass for a bit, and he bails and decides to take the countout loss...except Jackie chases him down and tackles him in the aisle. She backs him toward the ring and basically outsmarts him the whole time they're back in there. It's like a Bugs Bunny cartoon, sort of. Specifically one where Bugs is dressed up as a woman and has coconuts in his chest area to stand in for boobs. I mean, I can't believe they let her go out there in that top! Anyway, she hits a nice floatover DDT to a huge pop and it WAS very cool. Disco rolls through a crossbody for two, but is upset that it wasn't three and gets schoolboyed - schoolgirled, I mean - for three. I enjoyed it! Disco could have just done this months ago and kept getting paid. Imagine. Ric Flair is all fire and brimstone righteous anger when he gets in the ring with Curt Hennig. Flair gets his robe back that the nWo took and cut the arms out of last PPV, but of course, commentary has fallen apart and is talking about Hogan. Terrible. We have this blood feud going on in the ring, it's been built up so well, and commentary have the orders to talk about Hogan. It's maybe the first time that it's been so bad that I think it is now detracting from the show. Hennig and Flair have this good back-and-forth match where Hennig tries to take as many shortcuts as possible and Flair fires up and through it; the U.S. Championship belt comes into play, and Flair eventually wraps it around Hennig's face and stomps it. Flair gets DQ'ed and destroys a couple refs so that he can try to strangle Hennig. Konnan and Vincent have to pull Hennig away while the refs peel Flair away. This was a good match that was hurt pretty badly by the awful commentary. Savage cuts an '80s-ass Real Audio WCWwrestling.com promo with Mark Madden, but he's so good at this because he's playing the yelling down a bit and just doing VINTAGE MACHO MAN on the mic. I think there's room for his promo style in 1997, but he needs to cut the yelling a bit. J.J. Dillon is back to talk about contract shenanigans with Gene Okerlund. Lots of UPS truck-level flash and sizzle! Bischoff comes out to talk office politics with Dillon and, look, the main event is back on, that's all you need to know. Scott Hall and Lex Luger (w/special guest ref Larry Zbyszko) is a match that I'm into, though very weirdly, Luger hasn't had much TV time on Nitro to hype this match. Hall and Larry Z. have been all up in the videos, though. Hall toothpicks Larry Z. at the start and gets punished for it, but the match settles into lots of holds and Hall trying to cheat with Larry Z. watching him like a hawk. Hall's tan is a bit much, even for a group with Hulk Hogan in it. I'm not sure this match needed long surfboard spots, though. I mean, it's really dull and slow-moving, lots of "sit in a hold" spots. I'm not asking for another Rey/Eddie or anything, but these guys can go, and Hall knows how to wrestle as the overwhelmed smaller wrestler against a babyface powerhouse, even as big as he is. Hall tries to swing at Larry Z. and gets backdropped over the top rope as Z. ducks. The crowd is very, very into Larry Zbyszko, Troubleshootin' Ref. Finally, the match picks up, as Syxx and Bischoff try to run interference outside. Syxx is able to kick Luger when Bischoff has Larry Z. distracted, and Hall hits a Razor's Edge for three. Larry Z. asks for instant replay, though, and once he sees it, he restarts the match, which makes me wonder why all refs don't do this. Hall finally comes back to the ring and gets racked, so Syxx hits a kick and causes the DQ, and Bischoff and Hall jump Larry Z. Luger was a complete afterthought in this whole match. I think it stunk from booking to the work itself. Randy Savage/Dallas Page is fine, I suppose. The crowd is tired and only somewhat wakes up when there's a crowd brawl, and I blame the previous match. The brawling is probably more exciting back in 1997, but man, Page head-first tossing Savage into the tombstones in the mock graveyard and bashing him over the head with them is great in any year. They try to wake the crowd up with all sorts of plunder, and they're generally successful at it - most of the credit goes to Liz breaking shit over the ref's head and choking Page with a cable. That was pretty good, and a great escalation of this match, because of her actions contrasting with her formerly demure character portrayal. Kimberly coming out to drag her away also riled up the crowd. But this is just okay, I think. It's an okay match in an okay-ish quadrilogy of PPV matches. I also don't get jobbing Page for like the third time in a row. This needed to be a feud ender won definitively by Page, underdog status be damned. The underdog's got to win the big one sometimes. Of course, Savage attacks Page on the stretcher post-match, so I'm sure WCW will continue this IMO somewhat mediocre feud all the way through to Starrcade. Hogan and Piper have had two WCW PPV matches to diminishing returns, but the first one was legitimately a very good match and the second one was solid. I was interested in this third match, a cage match main event between the two, because I remember more of the discourse surrounding the match more than I remember the match itself. I don't think that Hogan and Piper deserve shit for being old guys who don't work hard because they absolutely do. I think the issues with the match largely surround the use of the cage, which is opened almost immediately with little struggle and which leads to a ringside brawl that basically we just saw a more amplified version of in the previous match. Consider the Michaels/Undertaker HiaC match at Badd Blood; Michaels got murdered and had to resort to utterly desperate measures halfway through the match to bust out of there. He had to jack a cameraman up and take advantage of the medics coming to scramble out. Here, everyone's out of the cage inside the first five minutes and there's run-in interference. The cage is rendered meaningless almost immediately. Hogan's trying his hardest to get over a desperation to escape Piper and the cage with his vocalizing, but it's not convincing considering how easily the confines of the cage are subverted. It also doesn't help that we get a multiple Stings gambit as part of the match - and the aftermath, in which a face wins and is immediately beaten up rather than the crowd getting a chance to enjoy a win for themselves. Honestly, you can criticize this match for being poor for a lot of reasons, but the workers aren't one of them. They genuinely put in as much effort as they could. But the cage being a non-factor + many Stings = dud. Especially having a "fan" run in and get beaten up. This show went south almost immediately after Jackie/Disco, though you could make the argument that the commentary for that match was so bad that the show tanked during the match. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/7/#findComment-1299343

Fall Brawl 1997 notes: Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/7/#findComment-1294073 The Eddy Guerrero/Chris Jericho opener is on one of those WWE DVD collections I have - maybe Eddy's Cheating Death, Stealing Life? - so I have re-watched it more recently than I've re-watched most 1997 WCW. It's a very good opener, and Eddy's got a lot of heat on him, so a title change is the right choice. The match is also quite good, which is no surprise. Jericho keeps Eddy grounded, which makes sense. He's the bigger guy, so he needs to lean on Eddy. Eddy was just the bigger wrestler on the previous Nitro against Rey, and Eddy works as the big man by hitting a series of bombs. It's cool to see that Jericho's work as a big man is more focused on leaning on Eddy and working him into pinning positions. Two different approaches for smaller guys being the bigger wrestler in the match, both effective. One of the nice things about this Cruiserweight division is that you could see how wrestlers would change their approach depending on whether or not they were the bigger or smaller cruiser in the ring, and it feels like each of these wrestlers has a distinct approach to each of those situations. That's a little something that makes this division work so well. Anyway, Eddy wins this with a Frog Splash after he reverses a Jericho superplex attempt. The Cruiserweight title had quite the journey in 1997, especially this Syxx -> Jericho -> Wright -> Jericho -> Eddy -> Rey series of switches that happens only over a few months. It works, though, because everyone is so good that it's believable that the competition would be tight enough to have guys straight up beat each other at a moment's notice. It also helps that the matches were no less than good and the one at the end of this series of switches is a stone cold classic. Not a Stone Cold classic, a la Austin/Angle at Summerslam '01, but a stone cold classic. The Steiner Brothers and Harlem Heat have a decent match, though it's nothing special, and it feels like these teams have been feuding off and on for a loooooooooong time. The Steiner Brothers' tag titles victory has been held off for probably, what, a year almost at this point? Bischoff needs to move it along with some of these arcs. Scott Steiner and Booker T continue to build the chemistry that would carry through to their matches in 2000 and 2001, which generally delivered IIRC. Though I am somewhat cold w/r/t the entertainment level of this bout, I must say that the crowd is quite into the whole thing. I did fall for Harlem Heat getting a finish off the Heatseeker, but it's only a 2.9, and Stevie falls to a clothesline/bridging back suplex combo only seconds later. The Steiners are finally the number one contenders to the tag titles, which since they cleanly beat the Outsiders like six or seven months previous to this match, should have been their status way the heck earlier. Alex Wright and Ultimo Dragon have a rematch of their Clash 35 TV title encounter. As good as that match was, this match is verging on dreadful. Commentary tries to find a narrative through line, though there really isn't much of one, at least in kayfabe. However, I wonder if the champ called each match. Dragon was the champ on the excellent Clash encounter, but Wright's the champ in the rematch, and it looks like he ran out of ideas pretty quickly. He has an awful, crowd-killing heel control segment that genuinely felt like it was twenty minutes long. Around the time he was two minutes into about eight minutes of working a shitty chinlock over two separate match segments, I felt like I could see it on the poor fella's face that he was out of ideas and trying to figure out what to do. This match was entirely too long, and while the finishing segment was fine in a vacuum (Wright counters a Dragon Sleeper and wins with a German Suplex), it did zero to get the crowd back. I didn't expect a match as good as the Clash match or anything, but this was well below any reasonable expectations that I had for it. Gene Okerlund points out Tony Schiavone's lapse in throwing it over to him for a segment. Then, the nWo's "Arn Anderson Sketch Guys" (Nash, Syxx, Konnan, and Buff) storm through said segment, and Okerlund has the nerve to talk about how rude they are. Oh, as rude as pointing out a momentary pause that your buddy on commentary made when throwing it over to you? That level of rude? Anyway, the nWo knocked out Curt Hennig, but not really because it's a ruse (both in the kayfabe and shoot senses). The Horsemen are WCW's team for War Games tonight in a late switch by acting WWF Commissioner acting WCW Commissioner Roddy Piper, so the nWo countered by buying off Hennig. Oops! In Piper's defense, his decision was because Luger and DDP, two members of that team, have been beefing lately. Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring to wrestle Dean Malenko because none of the other Horsemen wanted him in their group and chose to pursue Curt Hennig instead. Oops! Jarrett is not long for WCW - he'll be back on Raw in mid-October - so this is his WCW PPV swan song. For now, at least. It's a pretty good match, and really, watching Jarrett's whole run this past year has made me re-evaluate him. He was in a number of good bouts and a couple that were great, or at worst verged on great, against Giant and Benoit. He came in as a face who was excited about TRADITION, though, and that killed him dead almost immediately. The dude just comes off as naturally unlikeable, but he's a terrible heel and a great fighting babyface in the ring. The reverse is true in his character work (though his heel ringwork during this run was good, just not as good as his babyface work). When he comes back to WCW in 1999, he's going to get the biggest push of his life as a heel who kabongs dudes with guitars, and I can't blame him for then doing that for the next decade because he got over doing it. You do what gets you over, I understand that, but it's a shame because aesthetically, he's so much better working as a face. The caveat is that this comes from someone who thought his "sympathetic dad trying to hold things together for his kids" period in TNA after his first wife passed was far and away the best version of him in that company. I digress as much as Taz apparently does. Jarrett wins this match with the Figure Four and ostensibly gets another shot at Mongo McMichael and the U.S. Championship at Halloween Havoc, but that'll never happen. It's interesting that Bischoff booked Jarrett to win here when Jarrett was so close to being out of contract and hadn't agreed to a new one. The "Arn Anderson Sketch Guys" cut a promo. They plan to retire the Four Horsemen in War Games tonight. Well, the Three Horsemen. Wow, these guys cannot settle on four active Horsemen for anything this year. Wrath and Mortis vs. the Faces of Fear is a nice way to give Vandenberg's guys something to do besides wrestle Glacier and Ernest Miller, neither of whom have been on TV lately, come to think of it. This has been a good mini-feud on TV for the past month. People love that backdrop/powerbomb combo move the Faces of Fear do. It wakes them up a bit. This is another solid match. I love that Tony S. calls the ref "Shooter" Curtis, a little shout out to the Busaiku knee/facelock two-piece he served up to some bum who rushed the ring last Nitro. Vandenberg gets involved and his boys have some nice offense in control - the match is pretty much a bombfest starting about three minutes in - and we get a tower superplex spot that actually makes sense because Mortis, who is on top of the tower with Barbarian, is also hurt! It leads to a hot tag, and the desk talks about how the move backfired because Mortis didn't control his fall. Sometimes, people all sell that move, but it always seems so contrived and the selling is often cursory before getting to the next move. This one helped stitch the match together. Meng double-Tongan Death Grips Vandenberg and Mortis, but while he's doing that, Wrath dispatches of Barbarian and catches Meng from behind with a Death Penalty for three. Vandenberg really does whatever he needs to when it means that his guys will win. Top-class manager, that guy is. Oh no, Benoit does a ton of talking in this Three Horsemen interview. I like that he just delivers his pitiful attempts at insults as though they're really good ones, so maybe people will also think that they're good insults, I'll say that much. I mean, he doesn't fool me. They stink. But I appreciate the "fake it 'til you make it" approach. WCW is always down a man in these big matches against the nWo. This is like the third time this has happened in a major match on a WCW PPV in 1997. The Giant had to wrestle the Outsiders alone, WCW was down a guy in that big triple-threat elimination match against the Horsemen and the nWo, and now this. Plus we got a tag title match that ended up being one-on-one for the tag titles when Scott Hall went to rehab and Scott Steiner got removed from the match in a stupid way to even it up. Bischoff really loved this booking trope, huh? The Giant is wrestling Scott Norton? They really have nothing better to do with LE GEANT~? Vinnie McMahon Jr. booking the Big Show like ass for a huge chunk of Show's run there is a fairly common talking point, but I'm not sure the booking of WCW babyface Giant, who is very over, is pointed to as a massive error like it should be. Bischoff is wasting this guy. Not that this matchup is bad. It's another solid match. The Giant suplexes Norton on the floor, and it rules. But look, the Giant deserves better. He already killed Savage off, sure, but there are other options. The Outsiders have been ducking the Steiners. The Steiners have wrestled Harlem Heat about five hundred times the last few months. Why not shunt Hall or Nash into a quickie feud with the Giant? Hall's probably the best option as a) he can eat a loss and be just fine, and b) he is excellent when he's wrestling small against a bigger babyface. So, the match: The Giant does a kip-up and a dropkick and the crowd loves it and it's pretty great! Chokeslam, three, huge pop for the big man. Can we give him something to do that isn't "uh, we're all out of ideas, I guess let's turn him heel again?" Lex Luger and Dallas Page have our second Clash 35 return match of the night; they face off against Scott Hall and Randy Savage. The crowd is VERY into the face team. Luger kills the heels, but during DDP's FIP segment, Hall stomps Luger out in the no man's land between the two rings until Luger's wedged between the rings. Everybody else goes into both rings and does all sorts of fun spots to differentiate this tag match from the previous tag matches. Scott Hall knocks out Mark Curtis because why the fuck not, so Larry Zbyszko comes down and faces off with Scott Hall, which distracts Hall enough for Luger to pull himself out from between the rings and sneak up behind. Larry Z. shoves Hall backwards into a Luger schoolboy, then counts a quick three. The nWo does this sort of fuckery all the time to their benefit, so I'll allow it. It's War Games! What was the last good one of these? 1994, yeah? 1996 was actually pretty decent, I think. That could ostensibly be the last good one. Or maybe tonight's War Games, considering that I remember zero about it! But probably not. Let's run through this thing. First in are Chris Benoit [Horsemen 1] and Buff Bagwell [nWo 1]. Tony S. whines about no one coming out to help the Horsemen and fill the open spot in the match. Hey, Ric Flair's ineffectual leadership made this mess, and they should have to deal with it. Benoit tries to finish Bagwell early, which makes a ton of sense! He whiffs on a flying headbutt, though. Oops! The crowd chants for Sting. Mmm, I think maybe the Horsemen have gone to that well and pissed in it one too many times at this point, WCW fans. The five minute period ends with, and you will be shocked to find this out, the heels having won the coin toss to enter next and hold a two-on-one advantage. The nWo feels right at home with a one-man advantage at this point. Konnan [nWo 2] enters in time to miserably fail at helping Buff beat up Benoit, at least for awhile. Finally, the heels are on top for the last minute of the period. Mongo McMichael [Horsemen 2] enters at the end of that period and cleans house with clotheslines and slams and clubberin' and such. The Horsemen basically dominate this period, and when it ends, Syxx [nWo 3] enters the match. You know what the issue is with this match? I don't buy the hatred. They needed more than two weeks to build this match up. They sort of hot-shotted the feud with the retirement and then the follow-up mockery of said retirement happening in such a compressed space. So, Syxx gets in and basically gets murdered; it might as well be three-on-three for 45 seconds of this period. Finally, Benoit is distracted by trying to wrap Syxx into knots, and the nWo grabs control of the match. Meanwhile, Curt Hennig comes down with his arm in a sling. It looks like he'll be participating. What courage, Tony S. says! That poor rube. Ric Flair [Horsemen 3] enters the ring and WOOOs and chops and Syxx is in here getting his ass beat, pretty much. The Horsemen run both rings for the full two minutes, until Kevin Nash [nWo 4], gains entrance. Nash wrecks Flair, wrecks Benoit, and big boots Mongo off of Buff. Though Curt Hennig is at ringside, the crowd chants for Sting. Apparently, the only people with a shorter memory than Sting are WCW fans. The nWo keeps control until the period ends, at which point Curt Hennig [Horsemen 4] enters the ring and the Match Beyond begins. Hennig rips off his sling, takes out some handcuffs, and strikes the Horsemen with them. The crowd is making noise at this turn of events, but I feel like the noise is essentially, Hey, this is bullshit. This could just be my interpretation. Actually, they telegraphed the Hennig turn reasonably well over the past few weeks of shows, but we're in Winston-Salem, and I think this crowd just wants to see the Horsemen win. The nWo handcuffs Mongo and Benoit to the cage and then beat Flair down. Whenever Mongo or Benoit spits at an nWo member trying to get them to surrender, the crowd flares up with a cheer, but no, you're not getting any catharsis, Winston-Salem. The nWo basically obliterates Flair, and they threaten to crush Flair's head in the cage door before Mongo surrenders to save Flair...which of course doesn't work. Hennig slams the cage door on Flair anyway. The crowd is at an uncomfortably low buzz after that spot, but don't worry - the only thing that got killed tonight is Winston-Salem as a drawing town! Riiiiiiiight HERE is where I've decided that WCW starts being inexorably booked into the ground. Not Starrcade 1997 or 1998, not the Fingerpoke of Doom Nitro, not Vince Russo's first turn as booker. Here. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/7/#findComment-1294415

Clash of the Champions 35: The Finale notes Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1290781 This is the end of an institution, and I’m bummed. And it ended almost thirty years ago! Still bummed, though. I hope if Gorman is casting around for “King of…” ideas after he finishes up the ECW PPVs, the King of Clash is a potential one that he pursues. We see Sting and an audience full of people explain what Sting wants to J.J. Dillon on a recap. Tony S. swears that Dillon understands, but just wants Sting to vocalize it. I would like to challenge that notion, Tony. Jeff Jarrett's putting up the U.S. Championship against Mongo McMichael. Jarrett has had such a good run, but he's pretty much out after this, right? I wonder why he left so quickly? I'm sure he's talked about it. His run has been so good that it seems like a mistake to let him go back to the competition without too much fuss. There are some actual Jarrett fans in the front row, facing away from the hard cam! There are dozens of us! Dozens! We are in Nashville, though, and Jarrett's still mostly booed, so maybe it's not that impressive. Jarrett gets real disrespectful by tackling Mongo out of a three-point stance. Jarrett bails whenever he's losing control of the match and uses his speed and experience to keep Mongo off balance. He bashes Mongo into the steps outside and goes to town; Debra helps where she can. Mongo powers out of a sleeper and locks on one of his own. Debra distracts the ref, and Eddy comes down to help Jarrett, but Eddy ends up blasting Jarrett with the U.S. Championship accidentally, and Mongo wins the title off the error. Debra tries to pull a Sunny and ditch the former champ for the new one, but Mongo's not feeling it. Is there a Jarrett/Eddy match before Jarrett leaves, at least? Let's hope. Eric Bischoff is a real sadist; he sends Alex Wright out to do another interview with Okerlund, though I appreciate that Alex Wright ignores Gene's pleas for an English-only interview. Wright is still bad at promoing, but that was a nice touch. It's a TBS Dinner and a Movie promo, live at the Clash! Aw man, this brings back some memories. These fellas say they're making jerk chicken, but I don't see a Jamaican woman anywhere near this set. When does Raven get his "Come As You Are" knockoff theme? I love the Nirvana knockoffs that he and DDP ran with. Raven grabs the mic and announces that he will have a no-DQ match against Stevie Richards. The former WCW Light Heavyweight Champion goes to town on Stevie immediately, capping off his opening flurry with a plancha. Stevie goes into survival mode immediately, but Raven dominates him anyway. The crowd loves Raven's chair-focused offense, which is certainly creative for 1997 WCW - he hits a drop-toehold onto a chair, then ups that with a bulldog onto the chair. Stevie gets a flurry when he reverses a whip and sends Raven into the chair, but Raven regains control and hits the Evenflow DDT for the win. That was a fun little change of pace match. Mike Tenay narrates a cool hype video giving background on Ultimo Dragon. I can't imagine that they're having him drop the TV Title to Alex Wright here after that, but who knows? Wright starts out aggressively, but he doesn't understand that he can't afford to be cocky against Dragon, who is adept at misdirection and has more experience. Wright very nicely counters Dragon with a neckbreaker and then a powerbomb, but he doesn't go for the cover, and the desk freaks out over his mistake. This match is fantastic at getting over that Dragon is very experienced and Wright isn't, from the package that showed Dragon's wide range of wrestling experience up through the work in the ring and at the desk. It's so satisfying when everything comes together to enhance a narrative. The desk stays on Wright looking unfocused and not taking advantage of his opportunities. Wright lets Dragon back into the match after a TV break, and then it gets intense as they have a strike-fest. Wright goes to the apron, but stalls to jaw at the crowd; Dragon takes the opening and hits a springboard dropkick. Dragon tries to crossbody Wright on the floor, but Wright simply steps to his left and avoids it. This match actually rules pretty hard. Dragon ends up getting control back and hitting an Asai moonsault to the floor. They clamber back into the ring, where Wright blocks a top-rope rana attempt, but then gets blocked on a superplex attempt. A Dragon La Magistral gets two, and Wright gets a two-count of his own after countering a handspring elbow. This finishing run is so good. They reverse a few roll-up pinfall attempts on one another, and Wright beats Dragon to his feet after that exchange and rocks Dragon with a German Suplex for three. THAT WAS FANTASTIC. Holy shit, I knew it'd be a good match, but I didn't expect that. May we have a third new champion in as many title matches tonight? Eddy Guerrero is pretty certain that he's going to lift the Cruiserweight Championship off of Chris Jericho. Eddy enjoys jawing at Jericho and the crowd, but he gets caught and gorilla pressed on a leapfrog attempt. That was a dope spot. I feel like the crowd should have enjoyed that more. They definitely enjoy Eddy crawling over to the ref and asking for help. These fellas have a fast-paced match that's very good, though at one point Jericho botches a corner jump and tumbles outside; Eddy responds by ostentatiously belly-laughing and pointing at Jericho, which is an AMAZING way to save a blown spot. Eddy is such a dick, man, such a dick. He's in excellent form here with his taunting and shit talking. Back in the ring, they're countering one another at pace; Jericho hits a nice overhead release German for two. Jericho is huffing and puffing as he tries to keep up with Eddy, but he makes it through a final pinfall counter-exchange and rolls Eddy up for three. Eddy attacks Jericho in frustration after the match; he hits a brainbuster and a belt-assisted Frog Splash before rolling out like the champion in our hearts that he is. There's an eight-man lucha tag. Uh, let me see who all's here. Psicosis, Silver King, and Villanos IV and V are up against Super Calo, Juventud Guerrera, Lizmark Jr., and Hector Garza. There are lots of speedy flips and counters and dives. There are a few synchronized spots. Super Calo nearly kills himself on the railing in the first of multiple dives onto a lunch of luchadores standing around waiting to catch a dude outside. Psicosis, who doesn't bother with any of that dumb shit, has left himself refreshed enough to stick Super Calo with a guillotine legdrop for three when Calo makes it back to the ring. It was perfectly fine palate cleanser stuff. The Dinner and a Movie guys, while revealing their finished dishes, go nWo over at the kitchen set. I appreciate that they totally sell this shit and don't half-ass their heeling. Bless 'em. They rip off their shirts and reveal Macho Man shirts beneath them. Savage comes out and squawks; the Dinner and a Movie guys harass Okerlund until he leaves. They then talk shit about DDP until DDP comes out, destroys the set, dumps the nWo birthday cake the fellas have presented on the floor, and hits a Diamond Cutter on Paul Gilmartin. Gilmartin bumped like a champ, too. Much respect to these fellas for this fuckery; it was genuinely entertaining AND a wonderful little time capsule of TBS in the '90s. Bobby Heenan wants Lee Marshall dead. I guess you got your wish eventually, huh, Heenan? The desk ignores Bobby's complaints about Lee Marshall's lame "weasel" potshots to talk about the nWo. Syxx and Konnan come to the ring to face off with "Nature's Perfect Tag Team," as one reasonably clever fan sign calls them. Did Hennig and Syxx have any matches against one another in WWF? I need to check that out. Flair and Syxx are the prime matchup to see here. I think they have a surprising amount of chemistry. I've written before that Flair as a babyface against Hall, Syxx, and Nash are the most interesting matchups for him in 1997. At least concerning Hall and Syxx, Flair has excellent chemistry with them. Hennig plays FIP, and Flair eventually has enough of it and comes in. All four men brawl, but as Flair is trying to get the Figure Four on Konnan, Hennig tosses Syxx behind him and into Flair's knee. Did he do it on purpose? Probably not because he did it blindly, and he put Konnan away with the PerfectPlex about thirty seconds later anyway. Post-match, Gene Okerlund interviews the winners. Hennig still isn't proudly declaring himself to be a Horseman. My head canon right now is that Hennig's fine teaming with Flair without any further commitment, because with every win, he convinces Bischoff to up the dollar amount of his nWo contract offer. Michael Buffer's making bank doing his little catchphrase for WCW these past few weeks. Tonight, he does the ring announcements for the main event. Balloons fall as Nash announces that Randy Savage will take his place alongside Scott Hall in the match against Lex Luger and Diamond Dallas Page. He also announces that it'll now be a WCW Tag Team Championships match. Somewhere backstage, the Steiner Brothers dimly realize that they've been screwed again. I assumed immediately that we'd get an nWo beatdown and DQ to end this match after the title stip announcement, but I was wrong and am glad that I was wrong. Luger overpowers Hall early until Hall pulls the tights and tosses him outside. Then, Luger fights his way to a tag and DDP beats the hell out of everyone until Hall can yank his leg from outside and set him up for a Macho clothesline. So yeah, that's the flow of the match. Luger and DDP have the juice, so the nWo needs misdirection, double-teaming, and assorted cheating strategies to keep control. Page plays FIP again, as he did on the Nitro before this one. He takes a beating, and when Luger gets the hot tag, the crowd is very into it. Luger is such a good hot tag. He racks Scott Hall, but Savage cuts him off with a boot to the gut. Hall pushes Luger away and into DDP out of desperation. DDP, who was hit from behind, just pops off a blind Diamond Cutter. This is a good finish, I think. Of course, DDP thought Savage or someone was barging into him. Hall makes the cover on a downed Luger for three. The nWo just barely survives, but they actually got a clean pinfall to do it! How refreshing. The nWo has a huge birthday celebration in the middle of the ring, but Sting's not having that shit! Scott Hall, after Bischoff does an over-the-top introduction of how great he is: "Aw shucks, I think you're great, too." I fell out. He even does a whole faux-bashfulness deal, fluttering his eyelashes and looking away from the camera, as he says it. Genuinely funny. Bischoff rambles on until the lights flicker and Sting's awesome new music plays. Crow Sting's standing on the catwalk, holding Vulture Sting. This rules. The vulture is on fucking point when it's time to work. Birds are so cool. Anyway, it goes dark, and when the lights come up, the vulture is perched on the rope, staring menacingly at the nWo kinda chilling up there checking stuff out. THIS MAGNIFICENT AVIAN SPECIMEN TURNS HIS BACK ON THE NWO AND PUTS HIS WINGS OUT LIKE CROW STING DOES AFTER HANDING A DUDE A BAT! Bischoff comes up to the bird, but backs off when the bird turns on him. Nash readies his tag title as a weapon. The vulture doesn't give a fuck about your weapons, nWo! IDK what anyone says, that was great. I know the Clash went away because they were not as necessary once WCW shifted to monthly PPVs, but there's something about these shows - not as big as a PPV, but bigger than a typical weekly show - that is special. As a kid with no money and a desire to see PPV-quality matchups, these were everything to me in the late '80s and early '90s. At least these shows went out on an awesome finale. That undercard delivered some quality pro wrestling and the main event was a very good tag match. Also, Vulture Sting was fantastic. This show is worth visiting (or revisiting) the next time you sit down to watch some pro wrestling. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1291569

Road Wild 1997 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1290136 Vicious and Delicious are the impromptu faces against Harlem Heat. Can you believe it? I never would have guessed. There's a crowd cut as the nWo members come out that shows a young woman who looks like she is suffering just being in this crowd. Seriously, maybe someone should have done a welfare check on her. Anyway, this match gets pretty much none of the reactions that you would expect from a typical crowd. It's good, though. Both teams work hard. Jacqueline comes to ringside as a Sister Sherri replacement. She distracts Scott Norton with a few punches, then holds Norton's ankle down to help Booker earn a pinfall off a sidekick. She went 8.5/10 on the "James Vandenberg Competent Ringside Managing" Scale, at least. That is one boxy laptop that Ted DiBiase answers chat questions on. Rey is kinda over in front of this crowd. He can get over pretty much anywhere, huh? Konnan being mean to a smaller opponent is actually a pretty good time. I enjoyed the limb work, and Rey is bendy enough (and Konnan mean enough) to make it work. It's probably not the right thing to focus on in front of this crowd - maybe more strike-based or weapon-based limb destroying would work better for the audience - but I enjoyed it, at least. It also made sense for Konnan to go after Rey's mask since he wanted to show disrespect to the traditions of lucha, so when he was distracted by the mask instead of focused on punishing Rey, it was logical. Not that it mattered because Konnan straight bullied Rey to get the win. Good stuff. The crowd was more into Mongo's power wrestling than the intricate exchanges between Benoit and Malenko in the big Horseman-affiliated tag match. The crowd seems to think that Jeff Jarrett sucks. I think there are more actual fans in this crowd than there were the year prior. They know the significance of Jarrett and Mongo finally being tagged in at the same time, for example. Jarrett falls over and holds Mongo down on him for three, then jets with his gold. He'd rather not get an ass-kicking today, I guess. This is apparently an elimination tag, so Malenko is left alone to get beaten down by the two remaining Horsemen. I've been watching Nitro, but I'm pretty certain that this was not billed as an elimination tag on that show at any point. Maybe on the WCWSN's that I didn't see, it was. Malenko gets dissected and Tombstoned twice for the Horsemen victory. Well, Alex Wright shows up and an, uh, unfortunate chant starts. Jericho actually has to work to try and get them to just cheer or rev their engines or, like, anything else but what they're doing. Tony S.: "The bikers here can identify a little bit more with a guy like Jericho than a guy in key-lime tights who dances." That's one way to put it, Schiavone. These fellas have progressively had better matches since they started their recent series a few Nitros ago. The first match stunk, but they course-corrected pretty quickly. Wright, for his part, does the little heel things nicely, including some early surreptitious hair-pulling that he pulls off to great effect. Wright stalls and cheats, and Jericho works effectively as a fiery babyface. I think their last Nitro match was better than this PPV match, but this is still good. Wright cheats his way out of trouble with a roll-up and a hook of the tights for the three. Syxx is such a great pro wrestler. I don't have time for any of this "X-Pac Heat" shit. That's a myth. Everyone just hated Uncle Kracker. Whether never-say-die babyface or detestable heel, Waltman is great. The story of his match against Flair is that Flair's still an even bigger shitheel than Syxx is. It's like two Sith fighting each other to be King of the Sith or whatever (look, I don't really do Star Wars, but I've played enough KotOR to know that there can only be one when it comes to the Sith). The problem for Syxx is that Flair's not ready to give up being the absolutely dirtiest player in the game. Flair boots Syxx in the nuts on a second Bronco Buster attempt and then rolls Syxx up with his feet on the ropes for leverage. Syxx, you are not ready, young Padawan. Unless that's only a Jedi thing. We got a rare hair whip in a men's match in DDP/Hennig. The crowd was very into it, and very into any time someone got their testes trashed. These folks in Sturgis love a nut shot or two ten. This match was okay, I guess. DDP got busted open on an exposed turnbuckle, but kicked out of a PerfectPlex. The blade job and kick out made him look like a killer, but of course, there was a ref bump. Flair came down and ate a Diamond Cutter; Hennig reapplied the PerfectPlex on a distracted Page for three. Well, I guess if you're going to have DDP lose three straight PPV matches to Randy Savage and Curt Hennig, you could do worse than what's been done, but I'm impressed that Page was able to survive his booking. He's enough of a scrappy underdog that I guess Bischoff got away with it. I'm not quite sure the booking fits him, though, in spite of his portrayal. Randy Savage stalls, tries a body slam, fails at the attempt, and then gets murdered by the Giant. Savage clips the knee in desperation at one point and tries his best to capitalize, but the Giant never really feels like he's in danger. Savage goes for a double-axehandle, but jumps himself right into a goozle and a chokeslam. It was fine for what it was. Scott Hall has the only good "heel locks on an abdominal stretch and uses the ropes/his partner for leverage' spot. Why is that? It's not fundamentally different from when any other heel does it. He's the only one that gets me to enjoy it, though. Ric Flair's the only other guy who is all-time great at using leverage spots for entertainment. Still, there are a lot of stretches and chinlocks in the heel control segment of the Steiner Brothers/Outsiders match. Woof, it's slow going. I much prefer their Souled Out match to this. The finish is also a disappointing cop-out because the Steiners have the belts won, but Nash pulls Nick Patrick out of the ring during the three-count for the cheapie DQ. I don't like it; this should have been a clean victory after the months-long chase that the Steiners have been through. I guess it's okay if they have a rematch that's no DQ that the Steiners win definitively next show (or on Nitro, since the next show is Fall Brawl and the Outsiders'll probably be in War Games). But really, this felt like the culminating match for the whole feud. Michael Buffer is wearing a biker hat along with his usual ring announcer getup, and it looks stupid. I laughed. Lex Luger's title reign was too short. He could have at least held it for a month. He was red-hot for the last few months of 1996 and the first half of 1997. Five days wasn't enough. On another note, I think heel Hogan was pretty good as a big-match worker on PPV in 1996 and into 1997. He's clearly athletically limited in a way he wasn't even two or three years before, but he gets a lot out of a little and goes into his bag of '70s/'80s heel tricks whenever he can fit that in. The Starrcade match against Piper is the best example of this because it should have been awful, but it was actually a good little match. This is another match that is probably better than it should be, and Hogan's heeling is a big part of that. I recall that in 1997, people were sick of Hogan matches and Hogan winning main events, but I think from a distance, this sort of old-school heel work is engaging and, for me, appreciated. I don't think Luger got enough shine before the heel control segment, though. So, the nWo does a mass run-in again, and Luger's ability to fight everyone off is to his detriment as Fake Sting hits Luger with a bat shot behind the referee's back. Hogan gets three and the announcers are incredibly stupid for thinking, yet again, that Fake Sting is actual Sting. Sweet hell. The nWo celebrates in the back and spray paints the belt. This show was solid. No classics, but no duds. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1290571

Bash at the Beach '97 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1282139 I don't remember loving the Glacierverse as much as I currently do. The tag opener between Glacier/Miller and Wrath/Mortis was very fun, lots of cool double-teams, and one spot where Mortis big booted a chair that Wrath was holding to Glacier's head, sandwiching it with the ringpost, was gnarly. Wrath's out here busting out sentons and inverted crabs and other random shit out of nowhere. The faces had some nice double-teams themselves, actually. Glacier finally loses a fall in his WCW career when James Vandenberg takes over on the outside like a good manager should. First, he puts a chain around a prone Mortis's foot. Second, he puts Mortis's foot on the ropes to break a Glacier pinfall attempt. Third, he gets on the apron as a distraction and eats a Cryonic Kick so that Mortis has time to recover, get up, and hit a superkick of his own with the chain-wrapped foot. Sister Sherri, who'd recently been fired/quit as manager of Harlem Heat, should have been out there taking notes. I'm going to go back and read Gorman's review of this show because really, I don't see how Vandenberg shouldn't have earned the MVP for this performance! Chris Jericho and Ultimo Dragon had one of those typical late '90s cruiser workrate matches that you'll see on these shows. It didn't really stand out and was studded with all sorts of spots that I probably thought were cool back then, but that are (IMO) boring now. Dueling dropkicks, lots of fast counters, etc. There's even a dueling reversal spot where both guys try La Magistrals on one another. That should indicate what type of match this is. Not bad, but all the speedy counter flippies that are common in modern wrestling have inured me to this type of match. Jericho retains his Cruiserweight Championship with a counter to a counter. See, it's that type of match. Raven's so bummed. Stevie's not bummed enough. Don't you know that everything is POINTLESS, man? Raven decides to do some poetry. If he would've had Dave Grohl backing him on the drums while he did this, he could've cut an album that hit gold, at least. Stevie and Raven talking to Gene Okerlund in 1997 is quite the juxtaposition of the old and the new! The Steiners vs. Chono and Muta is a match that exists. If being boring were a crime, these dudes would have been hauled off to the slammer, Mountie-during-Summerslam-1991 style. But this wasn't offensive or anything. The trios tag was kinda offensive, though. Lizmark Jr. was moving at like quarter-speed the whole time. Most of the spots were contrived and immersion-ruining, though Psicosis did have a sweet sunset flip that really should have gotten three, it was so nasty. La Parka also popped the crowd with a pretty dive. Overall, though, this was a fairly bad match. Villano V must have a heck of a glass jaw since it took all of two moves for him to eat a pinfall after he ran in and took Villano IV's place. Somehow, I didn't realize that Sullivan/Benoit XVIII or whatever we're up to by now was a loser-retires-from-WCW match. THANK YOU, though. This feud was ass, a few bright spots aside. Since those bright spots mostly involved Dusty saying funny stuff on commentary, Jacqueline, or Woman, you can imagine how this has gone. I don't think even a healthy Brian Pillman could have sustained this feud for as long as its gone, and he's a very good mic guy. Benoit is so awful a talker that this feud had ZERO juice via interviews. Anyway, Jacqueline gets involved in this match and those spots with her are good, but the rest of this is yet another wandering brawl. At least Bischoff actually ended this feud, though. Most of his feuds just trail off aimlessly without much of a finish at all. I will say that people loved these dudes biting each other, and that was a solid spot. They followed it up with Sullivan fighting through and taking Benoit's finisher for about fifteen years, so that was a bummer, but the biting spot was solid! And I gotta say, "Sullivan survived the Crossface but lost only because Jacqueline gave him a chair shot" doesn't really get over anyone except for Jacqueline (being the utter badass that she is). Which is fine, except I think WCW wanted to give Benoit the juice from this match, not Jackie. Eh, I guess it didn't hurt him, and in the end, no fan held it against Benoit anyway. Oh, shit, subterfuge from Debra! She helped Jeff Jarrett clobber Mongo with the Halliburton in their match. Jarrett falling out of favor with her was but a mere ruse! I really didn't remember this at all and was expecting Mongo to win. Boy, the story of these last two matches is "don't fall in love with a woman because she will leave you for someone else and ruin your life on the way out," which seems...uh...about right for the '90s. I love the '90s to be sure, but they were a retrograde mess in some ways. Hall/Savage and Hennig/Page was interesting. No one in the 1996 WCW crowd was really popping for Hennig, but were those people watching a lot of 1991 WWF? I was, but maybe (probably?) a lot of these folks weren't. I love that they did the obvious toothpick/gum spit spot. The match is fine, but for once I did remember something correctly - Hennig rolling out because he don't need any of this shit - and now I'm waiting for Hennig to stick the knife in Flair and the Horsemen, too. Flair as a heel - meh. Flair as a fiery face against the nWo - awesome. That's my takeaway re: Ric Flair in 1997. This match against Piper is fine, but it's derivative and boring and the same shit, and no one wants to boo Flair really. Flair/Syxx or Flair/Hall is WAY more interesting and would have produced a better match. Heck, Flair/Hall produced a better match on Nitro that made me want to see a PPV version of that match. Anyway, while I have zero idea why Mark Curtis wouldn't just DQ Flair after his buddy Benoit came in and grabbed him, I give Benoit credit for covering Curtis's ears so that Curtis wouldn't hear Mongo spike Piper with the Tombstone. Even that didn't help Flair win the match because heel Ric Flair is a bum with none of the vim and vigor of fiery old man face Ric Flair. Hogan/Rodman vs. Luger/Giant was enjoyable as spectacle. Was it very good? No. But did it capture the spectacle of big dudes, one of whom was a basketball star who was very controversial because he wore women's clothes sometimes, having a main event match? Yes, it did. If you're trying to mark time until Starrcade, there are worse ways to do it, I think. Also, Rodman tagged in and didn't even take his sunglasses off. Come on, that rules. This man kept his nose ring in, kept his sunglasses on, and when he won an arm drag against Luger, it looked cool. Let's talk, in fact, about that spot. I think it's RD Reynolds, maybe Bryan Alvarez, who made fun of that spot where Rodman hit the arm drag and everyone went wild. Oh wow, an armdrag, never seen one of those, I think was the talking point. Those two guys are morons who have no idea what makes wrestling good, so I'm pretty certain it was one of them. Rodman did the arm drag, popped up, and calmly checked his shades while Hogan, Savage, the desk, and the crowd went wild because it looked so cool! It was amazing! Then, Luger arm dragged him back and he panicked and ran for the hills. That was a great series of spots that played off Rodman's natural charisma and worked around his limitations! Fuck off, haters. I also love that Rodman leapfrogging and shoulderblocking Luger led to a great shot of Luger with the facial expression that he really, really, REALLY underestimated Rodman. Yeah, this match was fun. WCW went to the well one too many times with the "main event tag where one of the wrestlers is from another field," specifically with the Leno thing, but doing this once every couple years with a legit athlete from another sport seems like a neat thing to do, IMO! This show was probably the weakest one since Souled Out, but I genuinely enjoyed the opener and the main. EDIT: Luger being MVP for winning the main event singlehandedly after Fake Sting used a bat on the Giant and racking every nWo member in the ring is an acceptable choice. Vandenberg is still my pick, but these guys are 1-2 in the MVP running for this show. I'm just a sucker for effective and efficient ringside management, I guess. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1283741

Great American Bash '97 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1280715 Ultimo Dragon/Psicosis was a decent opener. I like that Sonny Onoo offering Psicosis a business proposition after a Nitro match a few weeks ago actually got paid off in not only this matches, but two six-man tags that pitted these men against one another in the build-up. This was better than their Uncensored match from earlier in the year, and the crowd was really hot for it, too. Onoo inserts himself into the match one too many times and Psicosis pays for it; he eats an Onoo kick that leads him directly into a Dragon Sleeper for the submission loss. Harlem Heat/Steiner Brothers was a solid match with lots of clubbering. Booker did a Spinaroonie --> sidekick, and it got a mild face pop, so he should maybe stop doing that until he's actually a face. Just as Scotty hits a top-rope Frankensteiner on Booker and looks poised for victory, Vincent runs in and drops an elbow on Booker, ripping what looked like a certain win - and number one contendership for the tag titles - away from the Steiners on a DQ. I can live with the anticlimactic finish because I like the "Hall and Nash are ducking the Steiners after getting beat by them at Souled Out" storyline so much. The Steiners' beatdown of Vincent is pretty good, especially when they casually stomp him on their way out of the ring. Konnan/Hugh Morrus was easily the worst match on the card. It quieted the crowd down and was really awkward. It was below-average as a match, but the production truck did a good thing (?!?) by cutting to a camera angle similar to Scott Dickinson's that explained why, even though we could see Konnan's illegal hair pulling on the wide camera, Dickinson couldn't see it from his angle in the ring. Tony S. goes out of his way to point this out as an example of why it's harder to ref than it seems. I loved that bit of reality-building. Good work, Craig Leathers?!? Anyway, Konnan pops up and knocks Morrus off the top rope, then locks on a Tequila Sunrise for the KO win. Public Enemy cut a truly dire promo with Mean Gene. Just awful. Now that the Nasty Boys are off TV, PE has picked up in their stead as a team that cuts weak promos and has the same shitty garbage brawl every match. I stopped watching AEW pretty early in their run, maybe five or six months in, but long enough to see the beginnings of the Codyverse. While the Codyverse apparently ended up having few positive returns, from what I gather, I sort of like the idea. I think it can work. My reasoning? The Glacierverse is weirdly fun! Glacier's opponent, Wrath, shows a little something in this match. He hits a senton from the apron to the floor and a nice diving clothesline, and in general has some fun control in this match. Kanyon is handcuffed to the ropes as a stip for this match, but he makes himself known by tossing a chain to Wrath. His toss misses Wrath by quite a few feet! Glacier picks up the chain and clobbers Wrath with it for three. Post-match, Vandenberg and his men handcuff Glacier to the ring and beat him down. Where's Ernest Miller? Weird that he wouldn't have a run-in here. Maybe he's down in the ole Power Plant learning how to throw better worked kicks? I cannot believe I'm saying this, but Madusa/Akira Hokuto was damned good, maybe even great! After Madusa fights off an early Hokuto flurry, the match is worked around a Madusa knee injury (same knee she blew out against Wendi Richter, says fellow former AWA-ite Lee Marshall on commentary). Madusa does a FANTASTIC job of selling the knee injury, crumpling when she puts too much weight on it, having to power through to get a couple of big moves off before she can't stand on it anymore, and generally selling it like she blew an ACL. Hokuto does some cool offense, including a surfboard, to work the knee, and Madusa eventually can't stand on the leg anymore and eats a brainbuster for three. I didn't remember anything about the lineage of the WCW Women's Championship, so I assumed she'd finally win it here, but nope! The crowd is into this enough that when post-match, Gene Okerlund harasses Madusa about choking away her career in this career vs. title match while she's in incredible pain and being helped down the aisle, the crowd starts a small LEAVE HER ALONE chant. Okerlund is such a scumbag, my goodness! I will go so far as to say that this match burned the crowd out a bit because they are muted for another very good Chris Benoit/Meng match that's built around Benoit trying to get the Crippler Crossface on for as long as possible as many times as possible to knock Meng out, which he eventually does. Meng has a couple good chances to win, but runs into a bit of bad luck. First, he covers Benoit and in the three or four seconds it takes him to be reminded that this is a match that ends on standing ten-counts, submissions, or KOs, finally backs off. Benoit stays down for nine. So close! After that, Meng locks on the Tongan Death Grip, but Benoit wisely flips over the ropes and breaks it by falling to the mats below. That's Meng's last big chance to win. Both guys do stretcher jobs post match, and it did feel like a war. Kevin Greene/Mongo McMichael was solid. Greene got his mom, sitting in the front row, to slap Mongo in the face. That's always a pleasing spot, a family member of the face slapping or punching the heel. Jeff Jarrett came down with the 'burton, but didn't even look like he was trying to do anything but hit Mongo over the head with it. Greene pulled Mongo into it a bit, but he almost didn't need to. Debra finally got peeved at Jarrett because not only did he whiff, but he just rolled on out instead of sticking around to correct his mistake or at least cause a DQ. Greene got three off the suitcase shot; sort of a weak finish in the sense that this match was built up as Greene's ultimate revenge a year after Mongo hit him with the 'burton and went Four Horsemen. Greene should have at least been the guy to use the suitcase to win in a full-circle sort of deal. On the other hand, it's leading directly to Mongo and Jarrett finally settling their beef. Eh, there's gotta be a better possible finish that does both of those things at the same time. Twice tonight, Mean Gene has pimped his hotline with this rumor: Some wrestler who was pissed with the leadership of their company would maybe be showing up at Nitro in Chicago. If it's not a total work, my guess is Raven. Or is that too early? Man, my timelines are all off. The Outsiders/Piper and Flair was really about furthering whatever eventual Piper/Flair feud seems to be on tap. The crowd was hot for this and I think, based on crowd heat and chemistry, Flair/Syxx and Flair/Hall are the most interesting things that Flair should be doing right now. Eventually, Syxx (standing at ringside) kicks Piper in the back of the head, and Flair beelines for Syxx and brawls with him all the way to the back, leaving Piper alone. Not much longer after that, Hall picks up the relatively easy victory with a Razor's Edge. Well, at least Flair wasn't there to help Piper for a reason that makes sense, unlike a few weeks ago when Piper just chilling in the ring watching Flair get his ass beat by the nWo because, uh, who the fuck knows why? Oh, Piper thought Flair could handle that one-on-three himself; I forgot that this (this!) was his defense the next week. Randy Savage/DDP was mostly typical crowd brawl for the era, but it was better than the typical crowd brawl for two reasons. One, it didn't overstay its welcome and was kinda short, but very nasty and brutish, as a Falls Count Anywhere match should be. Two dudes trying to kill each other shouldn't go more than twelve or fifteen minutes, IMO. and preferably not more than ten. Two, Savage barely being able to contain his propensity for violence worked really well in the context of this match. Anyone could get it: refs, cameramen, Kimberly. It got to the point that he was so distracted with trying to dish out beatdowns and piledrivers that it seemed like this would be his downfall. Since this Falls Count Anywhere match was no-DQ (though aren't they pretty much all no-DQ?), Scott Hall helped Savage get DDP in position for a Savage Elbow that got three. This show ended up being really good after a series of strong Nitros, and stuff that I never would have guessed would work ended up working. If you had told me that Sonny Onoo, Akira Hokuto, and Madusa would heat up the Women's Championship match in about three weeks' worth of shows and then pull of a legitimately awesome match with a surprising finish, I wouldn't have credited it. Other than Konnan/Morrus, a subpar match for a subpar feud, everything on this show was good to great. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1280865

Slamboree 1997 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1274275 Steven William Regal and Ultimo Dragon have an interesting match. It starts a bit slow and they don't gel well until they get to the point where Dragon starts pulling out offense that Regal's never seen; Regal and Dragon both sell Regal's confusion as a detriment to his ability to control the match. The idea, I think, is that this is a competition between Regal's British matwork-and-bar-fight style of controlling a match and Dragon's unorthodox cultural mash-up of styles. I love the idea in theory, but this match doesn't quite get it right. It's almost compelling, but it never makes that leap that you'd hope for with such a clear narrative thread running through it. Regal gets a chant going for him here in Charlotte, though, so that's something neat. I don't want to be too harsh because they do pick it up as they go into the climax of the match and have some nice sequences. Sonny Onoo and Dragon are basically sick of each other, though, so Onoo kicks Dragon in the back of the head on purpose, and it spells the end for Dragon's TV Title reign. It's worth watching just to see the psychology of the match, and I'd also suggest watching the previous Nitro's Regal promo on 5.12.97 if you do, since it actually sets up the story of the match. In what I would guess, without looking it up, is Luna Vachon's only WCW PPV in-ring appearance, Luna loses to Madusa in what is a perfectly cromulent match. Heck, Madusa gets legit busted open. I think some of those strikes hurt without looking particularly great. This is alright, though. Both women work as hard as they can and put together something decent. Randy Savage cuts an in-ring promo on PPV. Ew, no. You already sold me the PPV with your talking, theoretically. DDP enters the ring with a crutch, but rather than bludgeoning Savage, he talks to him. I am not a fan of this feud. Eventually, DDP bashes the fuck out of Savage, Bisch, and a couple B-teamers with the crutch before Norton jumps in and we get a *sigh* nWo beatdown. The Giant makes the save, though. I mean, the crowd loved this. I bet I did too back in 1997. Yuji Yasoruoka was in a random WAR match I watched a few weeks ago! He was also in this equally random Slamboree match against Rey Misterio Jr. It's okay, I suppose. Yasoruoka isn't particularly interesting in control. Rey does the plancha over the ref spot that rules, though. Rey is always good for at least one dope spot even in the dullest of TV matches or in nothing PPV matches. This isn't a bad match. It's acceptable. I don't know what it's doing on this show, though, or why Yasuruoka got so much offense. I enjoy having Kanyon on my TV screen doing overelaborate, but somehow appropriate offense in a goofy gimmick, so I was pleased to see a return match between Mortis and Glacier. Actually, most of Mortis's offense was stomping Glacier's Cryonic Kick leg, so we didn't get said offense, but this was less a match than a continuation of an angle. And actually, Mortis hit a leg lariat onto the stairs in the post-match beatdown, so we got at least one novel wrestling move. In the end, Glacier is saved by ERNEST "THE CAT" MILLER, whom I unabashedly love. Things are looking up for Glacier's short tenure in WCW! The Charlotte crowd thinks Jeff Jarrett sucks, but actually this first WCW run of his has been excellent. IDK what the fuck they're talking about here in Charlotte. This U.S. title against Dean Malenko match is not his best work, but it's still solid. Malenko's gameplan never quite comes together; Jarrett shrugs off his legwork for the most part and uses his veteran wiles (read: he cheats and clubbers) to control the match. One dude who looks like he's made of tobacco juice sitting in the third row is solely focused on flicking off Jarrett whenever Jarrett is turned his way. It's hilarious. Anyway, it had a nice, fairly intense finishing run, and Mongo coming out to interject didn't really harm the finish, at least from my view. While Mongo doesn't entirely fuck Jarrett's chances up, he tosses Jarrett back in the ring before Jarrett's really recovered and leaves him dead for Malenko and the Texas Cloverleaf. I expected Jarrett to win the gold here because I'm pretty sure this title goes Malenko -> Jarrett -> Mongo, but I might have misremembered. You may not be surprised at this, but Meng and Chris Benoit wrestled a pretty good deathmatch. They didn't just go to using chairs and tables and wandering around doing a bunch of bland brawling. They worked this logically; Meng was the stalking killer in a slasher film who Benoit needed to outfox. Eventually, though, it became less about outfoxing Meng and more about being able to take punishment and persevere for Ebnoit. The crowd was weird about when it chose to pop and sort of hurt the match, but not in any significant way. Also, the finish is sweet, with Meng locking the TDG onto a diving Benoit. That shit ruled, and nary a weapon was used. Well, now I think Meng can beat anyone this side of Sting for the next couple months, so I hope they end up using this effectively. The Steiners and Hugh Morrus/Konnan had an alright little match. Hey, Morrus getting tossed into the lights is never boring. Konnan was real quick to beat up Morrus for taking the pinfall. It's not like they've been on a losing streak or anything. Jimmy Hart yelling I THOUGHT YOU SAID BLOOD IN, BLOOD OUT cracked me up for whatever reason. Mongo McMichael and Reggie White wasn't good in a conventional sense, but it was a spectacle. Never discount the power of Two Meaty Men Slappin' Meat (tm Big E). I will say that my favorite thing about this was Mongo getting more and more rattled as the match went on, Gilbert Brown showed up to support Reggie, and Reggie wouldn't quit. Also, there was a power-out-of-a-hold spot centered around blaspheming, which somehow worked amazingly. Mongo was out here promising Reggie that he'll go to church if he just lets up off that nervehold, and I will say again that the wider wrestling world needs to reassess Mongo and give him his flowers. It was awful nice of Jarrett to help Mongo get the win with a Halliburton after how shamefully Mongo treated Jarrett earlier. The main event, which pits the WCW members of the Kliq against Flair/Piper/Kevin Greene, gets off to a great start with Buffer's over-the-top introductions of all the wrestlers. He had me cracking up. Tony S. also cracks me up by insinuating that when Flair beat Vader for the WCW title at Starrcade 1993, Vader left WCW in shame. So, we're getting a Syxx/Flair feud out of all this stuff, and I'm personally happy for Syxx to get that level of feud partner, but I don't want to watch Syxx carry past-his-prime Flair to something decent. Speaking of Syxx, this guy kills me. He's repping THUG across his tights like he's Tupac. Oh yeah, the match! It's quite fun! Flair and Syxx do have decent chemistry. And there's a series of tags that is well done. They escalate the tags! Syxx tags Hall; Flair tags Greene in response, so Hall tags Nash. No one touches another person, unless you count Hall spitting on Greene. The Nash/Greene segment is great, and Greene finding a way to eventually overpower Nash really does come off impressively. Greene is like if you took the Ultimate Warrior, but made him a standard 'roid-crazy jock instead of a mystical peyote (and 'roid) using goofball. Kevin Greene is better than Ultimate Warrior, I guess is what I'm saying. Obviously, Piper is the worst thing about this match, but he's not so bad that he makes the match appreciably worse, and actually he has a couple good spots in here. Hall slaps his injured hip, and he immediately slaps Hall in the face like it was a completely programmed response. That's good stuff. This is a textbook example of how to lay out a match where of the six workers involved, two are over the hill, one is limited, and one is a unspectacular-if-solid worker. This is not just Hall and Syxx carrying the show or anything. It's the typical shine-heat-comeback deal, but really well-laid-out. And the good guys win! Definitively! Well, look at that. What a concept, WCW. That was an uneven, but ultimately enjoyable PPV. No Luger, no match for the BGB, no Sting appearance, no problem! Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/6/#findComment-1276509

Spring Stampede '97 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1266445 I am so pleased that Rey Misterio Jr. gets a nice face pop here in Tupelo. This opener is a good match once Ultimo Dragon dispenses with the unnecessary legwork that means nothing. Dragon hits a jumping Tombstone, but pulls Rey up at two, which you surely know is a mistake. Dragon works a surfboard and a sleeper and a headlock and it's all pretty drama-free. All anyone wants is for Rey to make his comeback and hit the springboard rana. Irritatingly, we go back to Lee Marshall trying to get an interview with Kevin Nash during this match. This crowd LOVES Rey and a couple of people on the hard camera side pop for every bit of offense he does. Rey takes a wild bump over the post when Dragon dropkicks him from the corner to the floor. This match is now good because Dragon keeps finding creative ways to kill Rey's comeback attempts. Dragon does a giant swing and then falls over dizzily, which gets a laugh from this crowd, and let me say how much I like a crowd that gets it and appreciates the art of pro wrestling in its many forms. The crowd bites on near falls for both guys before Rey finally is able to hold on to the legs on a springboard rana for three. This was good once it became about Dragon killing Rey's bursts of comeback offense, but the crowd helped it immensely. Great, more of Lee Marshall knocking on the nWo's locker room door. Well, at least Scott Steiner shows up and tries to get in. Nash spits in Scotty's face and, uh, Dellinger and some cops mace Scott. Oh, WCW. Bless you. Anyway, I guess Scott Hall couldn't make it to the show and WCW didn't want to run a handicap match. Later on, Tony S. reports that Scott Steiner was arrested because this backstage confrontation was *checks notes* the same as every other one that doesn't end in an arrest in pro wrestling. Fuck off. The crowd giveth and taketh away: They get deep into U-S-A chants. To be fair to them, Akira Hokuto and Madusa beg for that reaction. Madusa throws some "Rousey sparring before the Holly Holm fight" -level punches early in this match, which actually seemed like it was starting okay before that spot. Overall, though, this match is not as poor as I thought it'd be, though Madusa is having her own rapid post-WWF physical decline, a la Big Bossman. It looks like Madusa finally might win the Women's gold, but Luna Vachon runs in and takes out Madusa's knee. Hokuto rolls onto Madusa for three, and you know what, it was acceptable. Also acceptable is Steven William Regal/Prince Iaukea. I should give it a bit more credit than that, actually; Regal works a match in which he is clearly the smarter, more blooded veteran, but his nonchalance and arrogance give Iaukea a fighting chance to win. Iaukea sits down on a roll-up attempt for three in a clever finish, though Regal wins a punch-up after the bell and puts the Regal Stretch on Iaukea post-match. He breaks it only to hit a belt shot and destroy Iaukea's arm. Ric Flair's interview with Gene Okerlund gets the crowd hyped for Flair's in-ring return. He's been out for a long time now, seven months, I think. Kevin Greene's on his way back to the company, too, and I guess he and Flair squashed their beefs because now Greene's going to wrestle with the Horsemen, not against them. Anyway, it's good hypin'. Mongo McMichael/Jeff Jarrett vs. Public Enemy is about the best (mostly) straight-up tag match that you'd expect PE to have in 1997. Of course, it breaks down, Grunge tries to set Debra up on the table and then does set Jarrett up on the table, and ultimately is the only person to actually go through said table. In the ensuing scrum, Rocco eventually grabs the briefcase and clobbers Jeff Jarrett while Jarrett's got Johnny Grunge in the Figure Four. Grunge just keeps his feet entangled with Jarrett's and gets an easy three-count. They really have to stop leaving the briefcase with Debra. Interview to hype the semi-main event with Harlem Heat and Sherri. Booker infamously IS COMIN' FOR HULK HOGAN, UM, SUCKA! Sherri is so nice to Booker after he realizes his mistake, bless her heart. Her face is priceless, hahahaha. This is an elite promo. I love it. She's desperately not trying to burst into laughter. Don't worry Book, you're probably not getting fired; Terry Taylor, Arn Anderson, JJ Dillon, Eric Bischoff, and Paul Orndorff drop that word all the time backstage if a certain lawsuit that WCW lost is any indication. Thankfully, Chris Benoit is not wrestling Kevin Sullivan on this show! I was interested to see the finish to this U.S. Championship match against Dean Malenko in particular; would they do what I figured they would? The match itself is solid, definitely better than their Hog Wild match in 1996. Or maybe they're roughly equal, but the crowd being decent for the match in Tupelo is just a massive improvement over a bunch of dopey bikers in Sturgis. They really love it when someone eats a nasty chop, in particular. Then again, I'm not sure these two have the best chemistry, for as similar as their styles are. Jacqueline comes down and mollywhops Woman. Jimmy Hart runs down and tries to take the belt before Benoit can win with the flying headbutt he's just hit, but Eddy Guerrero comes out in a sling and stops him. So, we have this wild ending run where Jaqueline is beating holy hell out of Woman, Eddy is stalking Jimmy Hart, and Malenko suplexes Benoit to the floor. Arn jumps Malenko, but steps aside so that Sullivan can jump on the apron and hit Benoit with a stick, which Pee-Wee Anderson actually spots. Benoit wins by DQ; meanwhile, Sullivan, Hart, and Jacqueline frog-march Eddy away from ringside, the belt jammed over Eddy's shoulder. That was convoluted fuckery, but I'm intrigued by where it goes and don't mind the lack of a finish in this match. In the ring, Malenko and Benoit are eyeing one another warily. I should say that I'm much less interested in Arn and Sullivan having their own little truce even though their stables are still willing to feud. It's an attempt to recapture the Sting/Luger dynamic from 1995, but it's far less interesting. Kevin Nash/Rick Steiner is certainly a come-down from the Outsiders/Steiners match that I was previously promised. I'm not hating on Scott Hall being in rehab; I just would prefer Scott Steiner/Nash at the very least. I know, I know, Rick missed last PPV because of the dumb pre-match beat-down angle, so it's his brother's turn now, but still. Nick Patrick is also the ref, which is another detriment to the whole deal. But you know what? Both guys work reasonably hard. Syxx, who never fucking wrestles, is a good, active second to Nash who helps him by pulling down the ropes and spilling Rick to ringside, kicking Rick while Nash talks to Patrick, etc. Even Ted DiBiase throws a punch at ringside. Nash is in complete control after Syxx involves himself and hits a Jackknife, but Steiner kicks out at two. Nash tries for another one, but Steiner forearms him in the sack. Steiner hits the super-bulldog, but Nash kicks out at two. The desk swears that Nash didn't kick out, but, um, he sure looked like he did to me. A quick re-watch indicates that he absolutely did. Patrick's not slow-counting at all, or at least not any more than he normally does. Haha, Syxx cannot get the buckle pad off and DiBiase has to jump up and help him. Nash hits Snake Eyes on the exposed buckle once, then again. I guess there's some (unearned, underdeveloped) dissension in this group because Patrick and DiBiase are like, It's cool, just pin him, but Nash is like FUCK Y'ALL and hits a third Snake Eyes. DiBiase's face turn and Steiner managing is absolutely not going to work, as I recall it, but he walks out in disgust for whatever dumb reason anyway. Nash hits a fourth Snake Eyes then hits a Jackknife for an easy three, to Patrick's reluctance for some reason I don't get. You know what would have been better? Nash and Syxx vs. the Steiners. Freebird Rule that shit. I'm all for the nWo starting toward a break-up, but a) you should actually foreshadow dissension properly if you're going to tease a break-up, and b) they're not going to ever break up. Luger and Giant get their turn to hype the semi-main event with Okerlund. It is not in any way as entertaining as Harlem Heat's interview. Or even close. The Four Corners match is solid for what it is. There are some interesting spots - Luger trying to slam the Giant, Booker and Stevie arguing outside the ring and Sherri having to calm them down, etc. The crowd is very into Booker versus Stevie when they're tagged in, but WHY would you tag them in at the same time considering the winner gets a title shot? This should just be a Fatal Fourway match with everyone involved at once. Anyway, Harlem Heat exploding is the best it'll ever be in this match. Little bro Booker getting froggy while Stevie Ray just looks at him like an unimpressed older brother should is hilarious, as is both dudes having a nice rope-running sequence and celebrating before Booker tags back out. But eventually, we get a classic Stevie Ray chinlock spot, so what are you gonna do? The Giant gets a hot tag from Luger, gives Booker and Stevie the business, but tags back out to Luger - AWWWWWW - and lets Luger rack Stevie for the submission victory. Not a bad move, Giant! I think Luger'll make the most of that title shot! This actually was sort of heartwarming. I like it when babyfaces are buddies. I'm interested to see how I assess Savage/Page. The build hasn't done much for me, nor did Page and Kimberly's pre-match promo. This match is fine. It's no DQ, which I think makes it a bit less interesting than it otherwise might be. Mark Curtis is out here getting in the way, taking a chair from Savage, which irritates me considering the match type. Savage does go out and slap Dave Penzer around just to take the man's chair, so there's a purpose to Curtis doing this, but still. The match is built around Savage being a dick and controlling the match while Page fires up from underneath. It's fine, but it doesn't grab me. The crowd seems to like it well enough. Savage can't hit the elbow, but he recovers and piledrives Curtis, then takes Curtis's belt off and whips him with it. He tries again and nails it. Of course, there's no one to count since he spiked the ref. Nick Patrick comes down to ref, and Kevin Nash excitedly watches for DDP to catch that ass-whipping from the ramp. Too bad for Savage that when he picks Page up for a slam, Page reverses into a Diamond Cutter. Patrick counts the three and Nash comes down angrily and goozles him. Bischoff brings down most of the troops, huffing and puffing one and all, and Nash Jackknifes Patrick. Meanwhile, Savage grabs Kimberly and Bisch has to stop Savage from hitting her. I guess after years of people physically attacking Liz, he figured from experience that it'd be a good way to get someone else's goat. Savage and Bischoff go at it, and Savage slaps Bischoff before the nWo jumps in and separates them. I didn't find any of this to be particularly good. There's no clear reason that the nWo is beefing with one another outside of maybe Patrick just counting threes that he should count. Page got the win, but it was pretty much overshadowed immediately by the nWo angle. Oh, and the match was bang average at best, not the main event match you'd watch Page to have for his first go-round. This show was fine, but it definitely felt like a water-treader in a lot of ways except for the nWo's internal dissension, which wasn't well-presented, IMO. Well, and the weird Eddy/Malenko stuff got wrapped into the Benoit/Dungeon stuff, I suppose, and that might be interesting. It's weird that there were only five Spring Stampede shows. This show has a bigger prominence in my mind than maybe it deserves. Mostly because of the first one, I gather. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1268073

WCW Uncensored 1997 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1265689 Dean Malenko and Eddy Guerrero for the U.S. Championship is a suitable opener., though the promise of the first couple of minutes isn't really fulfilled by the end. We somehow got from Eddy trying to help Dean Malenko last month to Eddy breaking bad this month, but the promise of heel Eddy makes this all worth it. We cut backstage to see the nWo standing around a beaten down Rick Steiner, who I guess is out of tonight's main event. In the ring, both guys are heated. This is no DQ, so Dean grabs Eddy's U.S Championship belt and wallops him with it just a few minutes in. Eddy takes apart Dean's knee and targets it with a deliberate mat-focused attack, but again, this is no DQ and these dudes hate each other, and I wish there were more brawling. It started out that way, but this long Eddy control segment really slowed things down. Eddy uses the ropes on a Figure Four and threatens to break Dean's leg, a spot with some hate in it that ends up being a bit too long and calming the crowd back down. This wasn't quite the right match, but you can see in spots the match they should have and could have had. I do want to note the spot with Malenko hitting Eddy with a frog splash because the facial expression Malenko makes while he's going for the cover is hilarious. If this board ever had custom smileys, that would have to be one. Syxx, who does not get even 1/100th of the TV time he should get, comes out with a camcorder, tries to steal the belt, and drops the camera in the ring while fighting with Eddy over the gold. Malenko pulls a small-scale Sycho Sid and clocks Eddy with it for the win and the U.S. Championship. Some WCW star left the company, according to Mean Gene. Who was it? No seriously, I'm trying to think about who he's talking about. Was it an actual star, or was it like, Maxx or somebody? Now Roddy Piper is yelling. He steamrolls Gene and generally gives us another piece of evidence that Bischoff saying, You're a legend Hot Rod, do whatever you want in your segments was possibly the worst decision he made in his time at WCW. Roddy's Horseman partners show up - Mongo, Jarrett, and Benoit. Mongo being incredulous that the nWo couldn't even pull a real ath-a-lete like an NFL star is amazing - "You got Dennis Rodman...[disgusted guffaw]...a BASKETBALL PLAYER?!" That right there is another smiley-able face. Ultimo Dragon/Psicosis is fine. Lots of speed, lots of counters, lots of speedy counters. I dig Dragon's signature kick combo. I don't dig Dragon doing a corner headstand and then failing miserably at running across the middle ropes. They do a bunch of choreographed-looking counters as the crowd looks on, generally quietly. Dragon hits a series of moves culminating in a Tiger Suplex for three, a finish that should have come five or six minutes earlier than it did. We get some interview time with Diamond Dallas Page. Page is literally out here saying ACKNOWLEDGE ME, and since Page is a whole bunch of levels above Roman Reigns, I think by rights, we should, and so should Randy Savage. Show some damn respect! Anyway, Savage finally does acknowledge Page, and we get some Savage mic work that kinda blows, but at least Liz is out here bumping the nWo dress and looking good. Savage is like OOH YEAH, I'M REALLY REALLY REALLY COOL, BUT YOUR WIFE IS IN PLAYBOY AND THAT AIN'T COOL, OOOH YEAH and Page has to pretend that he's not proud of his scorching-hot wife being a nude centerfold. Kimberly is also pretending to be upset about being super-hot and totally into being the centerfold, and she comes out crying. Don't cry, you have this centerfold and an elite bit movie part to your record, and no one will ever take that away from you. Savage attacks Page as he consoles her and then spray-paints Kim's back while she cries over Page's fallen body. This was an actively shitty segment. Hey, it's Mortis! Sure, I'm into Kanyon putting on a cool offense exhibition. Apparently, they've been running a "someone from Glacier's past is coming to confront him" angle on the B- and C-shows. So, this is a "Martial Arts Match," whatever that means, and I hope it won't be too limiting. Glacier is mid, but Mortis is always fun to watch. I do love that Mortis has this look like he's part of a secretive Eastern clan that opposes the Lin Kuei, and then he yells a few taunting words at Glacier, and his Joisey accent comes booming out. It really fucks up the presentation, but who cares? It's Kanyon. Cool-looking Kanyon offense notes: press slam across the apron, Rocker Dropper, and a niiiiice Northern Lights Suplex. It's rough when Kanyon is way better than Glacier re: cool-looking offense. Kanyon should have had Glacier's spot, notwithstanding that the gimmick was outdated almost as soon as the first vignettes appeared. Mortis gets a nearfall after dodging a Cryonic Kick by using the ref and then hitting a superkick, but his follow-up attempt at another, James Vandenberg-assisted superkick whiffs and Glacier wins with a Cryonic Kick. Boooooooooo. After the match, Vandenberg calls out Wrath, who I think kinda rules, honestly. What is the general DVDVR assessment of Bryan Clarke? He's a really fun above-average hoss wrestler, IMO. Wrath and Mortis beat Glacier up to crickets. Well, I enjoyed it. We got a Death Penalty and everything. Buff Bagwell proclaimed that he'd prioritize beating Scotty Riggs to a pulp over winning as he came to the ring for their strap match. Happy days for him: He does both! They have a pretty solid match, honestly. Buff does his whole chickenshit opportunistic heel thing well. Riggs has a run of good offense and even gets the crowd into his punches in the corner. It's just that strap matches are better when the crowd feels the hate and fuels the intensity of the match, and this is an ice-cold feud. But yeah, this is good for what it is, especially Buff's asides to the camera: "I swear to God, I love myself more than anybody else I can think of." It's just too bad that the biggest face pop in the match was for Pee-Wee Anderson shoving Buff Bagwell around. Hopefully two straight wins for Buff on PPV ends this feud. The nWo cut a promo backstage that wanders and fills time. WCW finally just runs the tornado tag with Public Enemy that I've been asking for instead of all sorts of tag stips that invite wandering brawling, but also demand the structure of a typical tag match. Now, this match was originally PE vs. Mongo and Jarrett, until (I believe) Piper's tryout segment for his Uncensored team bombed horribly and Mongo and Jarrett were shifted into that match. Harlem Heat is their replacements, basically. PE attacked Mongo and Jarrett to signal that this match was happening, and then Harlem Heat attacked PE a week later as PE cut a promo about how the Horsemen were ducking them. It's inelegant, but it's fine for a sudden necessary shift in the card. This match goes everywhere and involves plunder and Dusty says COMMODE. It is what it is. Oh, Dusty says OH, HE LAID HIS OL' TIRED ASS OUT when Rocco Rock hits Stevie Ray with a trash can, and it cracks everyone at the desk up, and indeed, it cracks me up too. But yeah, you know what you're getting out of this. It's acceptable for what it is, I suppose. There are diminishing returns with every repetitive cookie sheet shot, though. Jarrett and Mongo run out and use the Halliburton on Rocco, followed by a Booker T Harlem Hangover for three. Team WCW, down a man, talk to Gene Okerlund. They're just going to go into this super-important match a man down, I guess. They don't seem to have a backup plan. I'd suggest that they're using subterfuge for a Sting run-in, but they're WCW and therefore are stupid. Prince Iaukea has entrance music now! Good for that guy. He and Rey Misterio Jr. have a solid TV Championship match that ends when the fifteen-minute time limit expires. There are some nice moves, including a slingshot powerbomb from Iaukea. Heenan does a pretty good job giving Iaukea some shine on commentary, first by saying that Iaukea's win has given him confidence to bust out more offense immediately after the slingshot powerbomb. After that, he compares an Iaukea dive to the aesthetic beauty of a Julius Erving dunk. Rey asks for more time after the limit and the crowd boos initially. Rey's MORE TIME, YEAH, does get a few pity cheers, though. The match doesn't last too much longer; Iaukea rolls through a springboard rana and holds Rey down for three. A small element in the crowd started a BORING chant during the previous match, and let's talk about this crowd in Charleston, South Carolina. The most heated any fan has been has been this whole time? A very red-faced fan yelling maniacally at the only two black dudes wrestling on the show (unless you count Dennis Rodman's main event antics) enough that Stevie Ray diverted over to get in his face. Otherwise, this crowd doesn't give a fuck about the undercard. Then again, the undercard is bland, though the workers try hard. The first match wasn't quite laid out or worked right, and the rest of it is all heatless feuds or matchups. I blame everyone but the actual wrestlers for the terrible atmosphere of this show, I guess is what I'm saying. Road agents, Bischoff, this bum-ass crowd: Everyone else can get it. Spring Stampede promo with the Horsemen hanging out in the Wild West. Sure! Tony S. claims that it's a new event. 1994 didn't exist, I guess. Michael Buffer introduces the main event. I confess that I forgot this match ever even happened. It's like a bastard Triple Threat War Games, but with no cage and with eliminations (pinfall, submissions, over the top rope to the floor) until one man is left instead of a single submission or surrender to end it. Let's run this thing down right quick: Benoit, Hall, and the Giant start the match. The Giant gets down there last and clubbers the shit out of everybody. OK, this makes zero sense. Why wouldn't the Horsemen and Team Luger join up and eliminate every nWo guy, then fight each other? WCW - master strategists. The Giant's dumb ass eliminates himself [1] after whiffing on a corner charge (GREAT bump from this guy, he rules). After five minutes, everyone sends their second man down: Jarrett, Savage, and Luger. There are no eliminations during this period. After a shorter period of time, two more minutes, the third men come down: Mongo, Nash, and Scott Steiner. Steiner suplexes the fuck out of Hall and Nash and Savage and looks like a beast. Nash recovers enough to eliminate Jeff Jarrett [2] by tossing him outside. Hall backdrops Mongo to the floor [3] for another elimination. The DOLLAR GENERAL MATCH BEYOND starts as Piper and Hogan come to the ring. In the meantime, Steiner gets dumped [4]. Hogan strolls down with Dennis Rodman and Dennis Rodman's Inexplicable Hat. Did he buy that from Bob Saccamano in Central Park? The crowd makes a demand for Sting. I agree with this demand. Piper jumps through the ropes to attack Hogan at ringside, as Hogan is just chilling outside standing next to Rodman for whatever reason. Savage comes out to save Hogan and steer this tepid brawl back to the ring. Piper doesn't stick around much longer, though. The Worm pulls the top rope down from his spot at ringside and spills Piper to the floor below [5]. Get this bum OUTTA HERE. MVP-level moves from Rodman at ringside. So Hogan and Savage are still in this match, but they're not in the ring. In the ring are Luger, Benoit, Hall, and Nash. The Crippler eats a Razor's Edge and gets dumped [6]. Its four-on-one as Team nWo regroups in the ring. They call Rodman onto the apron to celebrate prematurely. The desk does a good job of reminding everyone of Luger's WW3 performance where he almost overcame the whole nWo to win it,and on cue, Luger racks Savage for a submission [7], clotheslines Nash over the top rope for an elimination [8], and then racks Hall for another submission [9] in short order. The crowd thinks this is awesome. I also think it's awesome. Luger racks Hogan, but Nash runs a distraction so that Savage can hit Luger with a spray can. Hogan gets the pinfall to end the match [10] and this arena fucking DEFLATES. I feel the same way. Oh, great, now we get a post-match beatdown. I know, I know, Sting's going to show up, but Luger should have won this. This is some old bullshit. Sting rappels down and the crowd goes nuts, the nWo attacks him, and he beats the fuck out of the nWo with the bat. I agree that it rules, but I'm still heated over Luger. Also, what the heck, why would the nWo attack Sting? He's been standing around with them the last few Nitros. Did I miss something on the Saturday Night before this PPV? Hogan will only get in the ring with Sting when the Stinger puts the bat down. When he does, he gets a bat-free asswhooping and a Scorpion Death Drop as we go to the credits. This Uncensored was questionably booked and the crowd was dead for almost everything, but the show wasn't bad in the way that people tend to argue Uncensored shows historically are. There were quite a few missed opportunities, though, and even an armchair booker and road agent like myself can see where a few tweaks would make this show a good (or even great) one. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1266068

SuperBrawl VII (1997) notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1262123 There is a whole vignette with Roddy Piper leaving Alcatraz that I don't need to relate to you except that when he takes off running across an empty courtyard and yelling, I laughed so hard. It was a textbook example of unintentional humor. Dean Malenko and Syxx bring the hate in the opener. Syxx has been spectacular in these PPV-level matches. Malenko pulls Syxx up off the mat a couple times after an early ass-whipping because he wants to bring the pain. He stands over a prone Syxx and talks shit, and Syxx reaches up and slaps him! Shiiiit. That was a great spot. Malenko slapped him right back, too. Syxx underestimated how angry Malenko is and can't get out of the starting blocks. His bare offensive output only gives him a second before Malenko is back on him. Malenko gets his belt back and walks around with it, then ducks a spin kick and clobbers Syxx. This match is INCREDIBLE so far. Syxx takes over with a kick, but his offense is all just barely earned. Syxx hits a Bronco Buster because he's an asshole. Malenko hit the back of his head on the title, laying in the corner, and so he's selling a neck injury that came out of that unfortunate fall. His decision to grab the title and parade around instead of putting Syxx away has come back to haunt him so far. Syxx is fun as hell; he hits an elbowdrop from the second rope to Malenko's throat as it's draped across the apron. He hits a guillotine legdrop, but can't get three. Syxx works a headlock, but even that is entertaining since the row facing the hard camera starts a 1 - 2 - 3 SUCKS chant and Syxx enjoys reacting to it. Syxx tries to use the belt, but Eddy Guerrero comes out and grabs the other end of it as Syxx re-enters the ring, dragging it along.. Unfortunately for Eddy, he loses his grip and it slingshots back into Malenko's face as Malenko tries to grab Syxx from behind. Syxx gets the win and the gold, we get an Eddy/Malenko feud set up, and I am happy. This match never gets mentioned as one of the best WCW PPV matches from this time, does it? It should. Okerlund pimps his hotline with promises of NEWZ on a possible WCW defection to the nWo. Hmm. Then, he interviews DDP, who is supposed to be wrestling Bubba tonight. Bubba got jumped on Monday, so who is his opponent going to be? DDP and Okerlund try to guess, but the answer is revealed via Gene's earpiece: Buff Bagwell! Sure, that sounds like it's going to be good. Big trios tag with La Parka/Konnan/Villano IV against Ciclope/THA JOOOOOOCE/Super Calo. Konnan gets over in this match by murdering dudes. He does look like a boss. La Parka is great. You know all this. Calo tries to commit hara-kiri, goes all out on whiffs, and I think that should count for something. It's sort of hard to watch from a "worker safety" standpoint, but at the same time, you know you'll at least get a man eating wild bumps when you see him on TV. Juvy and Parka fuck up an intricate top-rope move, but Juvy saves it with a great-looking springboard rana. I wish all this damage meant more because there are some awesome workers in this match, but everything just feels like a wrestling move exhibition. I hate this style of pro wrestling. This Prince Iaukea TV Championship reign is such a bad idea. Bischoff needs to get his head out of the monitors, stop watching RAW, and book his shows better. Mirroring Chyna with Jacqueline is fine, but you don't have to go farther than that. The cracks in Bischoff's booking were showing by late 1996, and this is another example of Bisch getting too wrapped up in the whole "wrestling war" thing. Anyway, if you guessed that this was a way to get the gold onto Rey Misterio Jr. without having him match up against a large competitor to win it, you would have been wrong. But the match is pretty good! Rey is killing himself trying to get this dude over. This match is competitive, which is a shame since Steven Regal comes out and blows the whole thing up, helping Iaukea win after Regal sends Misterio smashing face-first into the apron in another dope Misterio bump. Iaukea hands the belt to Misterio because he doesn't want to win that way, so yeah, he looks like a bum and undoes all the good work that Misterio did during the match. He hit a great-looking avalanche Samoan Drop though, so that's something. I love that Heenan admits that he's not really against the nWo in principle, but he's against them as long as Hogan is involved with them. DDP/Buff is good, especially because the crowd is hot for Page. He counters Buff with a DDT and the crowd is like YEAHHHHHH and maybe I am, too. DDP's offense is so good that it's almost impossible for him not to get over, though. It's not just the offense, I guess, but that he will often apply it creatively to counter an opponent, so he looks like a crafty tactician. You believe that he can outsmart any opponent on any given night. The endgame is Buff wanting to win with a ten-count and not a three-count and paying for it via Diamond Cutter. The nWo floods the ring before Page can cover for three, but he wins by DQ, I guess. DDP is so easy to root for; I'm a sucker for the wrestlers who seem like they're liable to outsmart everyone they face. Chris Jericho/Eddy Guerrero is solid. Both guys work hard. The crowd doesn't care about them, especially because they just spent a bunch of energy cheering DDP on. Also, there are diminishing returns on every match being a fast-paced one with lots of big spots. Eddy wins with a Sunset Flip, but honestly, his title reign has been kind of a dud. Also, he hands his belt over to Jericho for a second. What is up with these lame-ass WCW babyface champs? Faces of Fear/Public Enemy/Harlem Heat have a triangle tag for the number-one contendership to the WCW Tag Championship. The Steiners kayfabe flipped their car, so the WCW Committee has decided that determining contendership is unnecessary until the Steiners are able to wrestle again. I can't enjoy this match like I should because I hate the tag rules: It should be a tornado tag so the wrestlers can work it logically, etc. Rocco Rock is bald now. It's weird. Harlem Heat is very over as faces, though. Well, Booker is because he has great-looking offense. Even if I can't sell you on Booker T as a good singles worker, can I sell you on Booker T as a high-level tag worker? Anyway, there are some very cool spots, including a strongman spot where Barbarian catches a somersaulting Rocco Rock in mid-air! He's the summarily pinned after Johnny Grunge follows up with his own dive and sandwiches Barbarian between the mat and two big dudes. Dusty gets VERY excited when the camera shot catches a woman who possesses what can only be described as a fantastic bust. WHOA, GOODNESS GRACIOUS, he yells, and even though you might suggest that he settle down, Dustynetico, I completely understand where he is coming from. LOL, a teenage girl in the crowd is holding a "PRETTIER THAN DEBRA" sign over her head, and Tony's like, Welp, not really, sis. MEAN. The previous woman with the large chest also had a very lovely face and was prettier than Debra, though, IMO. OK, OK, I'm settling down! Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael is such a tantalizing matchup. I also dig this love triangle in which Debra basically polices the match from outside and won't let either guy cheat. Debra wipes down a hurt Jarrett with a towel outside the ring, so Mongo comes out, takes the towel away from Debra, and chokes him. I hope people outside of DVDVR are re-assessing Mongo's run. He rules. He's green, but he still works spots really well, has so much energy and intensity, does fun power moves, and has that physical charisma that most wrestlers would kill for. Debra, who has been a revelation over these past few months' worth of shows, looks sadly into the camera and says, "Man, I just don't know who to help." The desk is incredulous at this statement. Mongo wants the briefcase, but Debra doesn't want to give it to him. Mongo goes to grab it. Petulantly, Debra tosses it over her head, and Jarrett grabs it and clocks Mongo for three. Jarrett is now a Horseman. The best part is that Debra looks into the camera, rolls her eyes, and says, "Now, how did that happen?" Then she cops a shit-eating grin. She is fantastic. WWF totally under-utilized her, didn't they? I don't remember anything about her from that time. She is SO GOOD at her role here. I feel like if she were around in 1987 or 1990 WWF or mid-'80s JCP or somewhere like that, she'd be thought of as a legendary valet a la Sherri. I didn't realize that Woman and Jacqueline would be strapped to one another during this Benoit/Sullivan death match. I'll say this; as soon as Jackie and Woman go at each other, the crowd explodes. From a kayfabe standpoint, it's impressive that Woman dominates Jacqueline, considering that Jacqueline has been beating up male jobbers on Nitro the last couple weeks. Then, the ladies get involved with the dudes. Woman crotches Sullivan with the strap; Jacqueline responds by whipping the shit out of Benoit and then kicking him square in the balls. OK, this is fucking AWESOME. Woman's just throwing forearms at Sullivan in the ring, holy shit. I did not expect this at all, and I am delighted. I am pleased that these guys knew they couldn't just do their typical wandering crowd brawl and thus had to mix it up somehow. Gonna be real, Woman, Jacqueline, and Debra have breathed a ton of life into the Horsemen and DoD, which would otherwise be two boring-ass stables with not much going on for them. The camera follows the wandering Benoit and Sullivan, but I'm more interested in whatever Woman and Jacqueline are doing back in the ring. We get a glimpse of Jackie choking Woman before cutting back to the totally passé wandering brawl. Do more mixed-gender spots where the ladies fuck these dudes up instead. Woman hits Sullivan with the strap, which gives Benoit enough time to come from behind and hit a piledriver on Taskmaster. Benoit gets a table and eventually he ends up doing a diving headbutt onto Sullivan and Jackie, stacked on top of one another, for three. The table doesn't break, so it looks sick. FIVE STARS Maybe four-and-a-half because the wandering brawl section of the match isn't interesting anymore, but the rest of this fucking RULED. Arn Anderson comes out with a baffled look on his face. Was it not the damndest thing you've ever seen, sir? I'm not sure if they're working an injury angle because Benoit looks like he might have legit fucked himself up on that dive, but on the other hand, they're doing a stretcher job for Jackie and Sullivan, too. I don't remember anything about this and don't know what is a work or a shoot or a worked shoot, but that table not breaking has me wondering about Benoit. Jesus, that looked nasty. I guess it's an angle because they follow them back to the ambulance, but Benoit might well actually have legitimately hurt himself. The Outsiders against the Giant and Lex Luger should be good, though I hate that they're working this Luger injury angle. I just want to see the match-up. Hall is a really good stooge, though. He wrestles so small when he's tagging with Nash even though he's obviously a big guy. It takes some talent to give off that sense of smallness (though I guess standing between Nash and Giant helps). The crowd chants for Lex Luger. The Giant hangs on for as long as possible, but Hall hits Giant with Syxx's Cruiserweight title and then Nash hits a SWEET Jackknife on Giant. This prompts Luger to come down. Bischoff tries to stop him and gets tossed. Luger gets the hot tag, throws a bunch of cast-assisted forearms, and racks Nash, who's selling a back injury from powerbombing the Giant. Nash submits and Luger and the Giant have the tag titles for all of, what, 24-ish hours? The Giant chokeslams Hall for good measure. This ruled even though it was largely hinged upon an angle. The crowd dug the hell out of it, too. Piper and Hogan worked a pretty good match at Starrcade '96, but I just don't see how they can possibly follow those last two matches. Piper's "crazy man" act is so bad. I will give Hogan credit here in that, again, he's trying. He stalls a whole bunch and does his best to sell big for Piper's shitty offense. Savage and Sting come out partway through, but only Savage makes his way to ringside; Sting chills in the aisle. The fans WANT STING. *iagree.gif* Again, Hogan is working hard, but the match itself sucks and really, the intrigue is in what Savage/Sting will do. Piper gets the sleeper and wins it, so he's the champ. Then, I guess, uh, what the fuck? Savage loads Hogan's fist and Hogan hits a punch for three. Why? Tony S. speculates that Hogan's leg was under the ropes, but the camera did a poor job of making that clear from the angle it took. Savage joins the nWo and I...don't...care. Boy, that was an AWFUL finish. Savage and Hogan hit their finishers on Piper, there's spray paint, and I think to myself that this main event would be so much better if it were, say, Nash/Luger as opposed to Hogan/Piper with Savage doing a run-in. That was a brutal main event. Overall, though, this show was much more good than bad, and the semi-mains were VERY good. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1265328

Souled Out '97 Notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1255155 I get that they're trying for sleazebag '90s cool here with this opening, and I am nostalgic for that very thing, but the dump trucks and Bischoff's State of the Union address are corny as hell. Can't be cool with Bisch, Hogan, and DiBiase all up in the videos, honestly. I also think that they went a bit too far burying WCW with the wrestlers getting no entrance music and the announcer running down some of these WCW guys. Also, I have to be real, why would any WCW wrestler sign to work this show? I get the dumb fiery babyfaces like Jericho taking their shots, but the vets really should know better. Speaking of Jericho and his opener with Chono, he's actually the perfect guy to put in this spot as a decently-athletic fiery babyface with enough charisma to act as a good foil for the somewhat stoic, but more generally mean-looking Chono. Bisch pointing out that Chono starts working the wrong "injured" leg was certainly a thing. The crowd chants USA to fire up Jericho, who normally I would say IS FROM WINNIPEG, YOU IDIOTS, but let's be honest, this dude is a full-on Florida Man, so I'll allow it. Anyway, the match is not particularly good, but it doesn't totally stink up the joint or anything like that. They tried, I'll give them that, with dives and a table spot liberally mixed into the match. The crowd is bored by the Miss nWo contest stuff. They said it, not me, what with the BOOOORING chant that starts up. I hate the whole thing, and it's awful, and my GOD, it sucks. It's cringe, as the kids would say even though I prefer to only use "cringe" as a verb and not an adjective, but language evolves, &c. &c. Hugh Morrus comes down in a tie-dye shirt and jeans to wrestle Big Bubba, aw man, fuck this. I will give Morrus credit for whiffing on a moonsault in the aisle, but that self-splatering is the only good thing about any of this. And right after that, Bubba "runs over" Morrus on a motorcycle in what is almost surely a better-looking spot in the arena than it is on TV. More Miss nWo stuff. Bischoff's idea of cool is hopelessly not cool whatsoever. You have Hall and Nash wearing Fubu and shit and Hogan and Bischoff are on some Boomer/old Gen-Xer shit with the HARLEYS AND BIKER CHICKS aesthetic (sorry to the old Gen-Xers who post here, I don't blame you for this, but I have to be real). That stuff wasn't cool in 1997! It never came back in style! It's the opposite of cool now! Can Jeff Jarrett drag something good out of VKM Wallstreet? Jarrett's been awesome on this WCW run, but he's not a miracle worker. The answer is "no," by the way, but Jarrett is fighting an uphill battle trying to carry Wallstreet and Patrick's heel ref act. He is blameless. In fact, he has a couple of bright spots trying to work around this stuff. For example, he chokes Wallstreet on the ropes and calmly informs Nick Patrick on the right pacing for a five-count by doing the count for him as he chokes out Wallstreet. See, that's a neat spot. Debra's in the crowd, all worried and stuff. She's an awesome pro wrestling actor, and she's someone who I barely remembered was a thing during the MNW era until this rewatch. Mongo coming down and Halliburton-ing Wallstreet, then forcing Patrick to count three under threat of violence was actually a pretty sweet ending! This Mongo/Jarrett/Debra love triangle has a ton of potential, but I'm guessing it ends before it realizes its full potential because Jarrett heads back to the Fed, and that will be too damn bad. More Miss nWo stuff - the senior division, as Jeff Katz says. One lady is into foot shit; the other one can't hear a damned thing because she's destroyed her hearing over seventy years of hard living. Riggs is so lame and Bagwell is still establishing his Buffosity, so the crowd is mostly subdued for the AMERICAN MALES AMERICAN MALES AMERICAN MALES AMERICAN MALES exploding. The nWo announcer's voice rings out to call Riggs a LOSER, which...yeah, but IDK about actually saying it straight out like that. Anyway, the crowd pops for Riggs hitting the barricade and Buff's pants getting pulled down to show him wearing a lime green thong. This match is entirely too long. Bisch craps on Vincent Kennedy McMahon the head of nWo security. Bisch knocks Vince's hairpieces and cheap suits, and then Katz gets REAL SECKSHUAL with some goofy double entendres. I zone out. WCW can't pull off racy. They're part of a corporate conglomerate. Stop trying to pull off "racy." This show makes me think that Eric Bischoff only ever had one good idea, and in retrospect, I'm not sure how good that idea actually was in its execution. (Eric Bischoff had more than one good idea, for real for real, but when you hitch your wagon to Hulk Hogan in the '90s, you're somewhat limited in how far you can take said good ideas.) Sting shows up to watch the DDP/Norton match, which is fine. I kinda like DDP as a heel more just because his heel control segments are full of fun offense and are never boring. DDP as the heel against a smaller opponent is my favorite configuration. He's still fun in this match, though. Page is fixing to cut on Norton when a few nWo guys come down to confront him. Buff belongs in that group. Vincent, Wallstreet, and Bubba do not. Page fakes going nWo again and hits a cutter on Norton before running away again. It's just about as great as it was when he did it to Hall. He runs into the crowd, rips off the nWo shirt, and everyone in the arena goes NUTS. DDP rules. Katz is killing me. At least we saw DDP on replay while his little interview segment was going on. Low-key, DiBiase sounding like he's on Benadryl over on color is a detriment to this show. Not the biggest one, but definitely one worth noting. Hall and Nash, along with Syxx, are legit the only nWo dudes I want to see. Maybe Buff, too. But it's a miracle this nWo concept worked for as long as it did after getting watered down with a bunch of lames. Anyway, they continue their run of very good - borderline great, actually - performances on PPV against the Steiners. This match isn't as good as future ones they'll have, IIRC, but I dug it. Also, there's something novel about Kevin Nash taking suplexes from Scotty Steiner. Patrick is knocked down at ringside when Hall hits an Avalanche Razor's Edge and gets a visual three. Then, Rick Steiner hits a super-bulldog on Hall and Randy Anderson pops in to count three for the Steiners. That was a really cool finish, but it's going to lead to Pee-Wee Anderson tearfully asking for his ref job back to fed his fam'ly on Nitro, which I am way less stoked for. Eddy/Syxx is the first-ever ladder match in WCW, by my reckoning. It feels like there was Razor/Shawn at WM X and then Edge and Christian/Hardy Boyszszzz at whatever PPV it was at, and the ladder matches in between sort of get glossed over. Even the HBK/Razor rematch, which had that AWESOME limb work in it (probably only second to the super-awesome limbwork in Banks/Lynch 2015 in the WWF/E history of limbwork) sort of is forgotten today. I think this is another example of an (unfairly) forgotten ladder match because it's a pretty brutal match and both guys kill it in this thing. Eddy was excellent in this setting considering this and the RVD ladder match. Though Eddy drops the belt in the finish, it's still an effective finish. NGL, I went to relieve myself as soon as the finals of the Miss nWo competition began. I played some Retro Bowl while on the can, washed my hands, and wiped down my phone screen. After all that, I came back. It was still going. Fuuuuuuuuuck. A terrible Hogan video plays on the screens while the Giant comes out. Bischoff slobbers over Hogan on commentary in a way that I'm pretty sure is not a heel working but a man shooting because he is infatuated with this guy. Holy shit, George Teague and Nate Newton! I'm old. Anyway, some Cowboys are here with Hogan. They huddle up in the aisle. The Boys hold up their fists to the camera; said fists are glittering with Super Bowl rings. They are easily the coolest part of this whole main event presentation. It's never good when legit athletes show up your promotion's wrestlers in terms of charisma and coolness. The match is solid, though. Hogan was really working his hardest in these main events. I really dug Hogan hitting a body slam and legdrop, but the Giant getting right up like a villain in a slasher flick and tracking him. Chokeslam, three visual three-counts, fuckery, guitar shot, etc. but it's really too bad because I enjoyed what came before it. The crowd chants for Sting. And you know what? **StingIagree.gif** This show has a reputation that it sort of deserves, but from DDP/Norton on, it was legitimately good. The weak undercard up to that point + Katz and Bischoff embarrassing themselves overshadows that, but they did have something going over the last hour of the show, match-wise. Not a Souled Out note, but I cut on Mid-South after this is over and Skandor Akbar brings in Jim Doogan, who is dressed like he's the Berzerker's cousin. Love that style choice. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1256428

Clash 34 (January 1997) Notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1255155 Malenko/Dragon is fine. Malenko refuses to emote when put in a hold, and it's a growing irritation with me. That dude's mystique has well worn off with me. He's getting a rematch for the Cruiserweight Championship the night after he lost a rematch for the Cruiserweight Championship. Should have given this spot to Psicosis and had Malenko win it back later instead of tonight. We didn't even get Dragon/Rey for the gold on a major show before they switched the title back. I know Rey's hurt, but no reason to rush a switch right back. Riggs/Enos is solid. Enos bumps around and has mean offense, so he brings the levels up nicely. Benoit goes full "Genesis of Beginning of McGillicutty" in a Horsemen interview, then says that he's emotionally unstable. I bet! Konnan yelling homophobic slurs in Spanish that most English speakers didn't really know in 1997 sure is something! On another note, it's LA PARKA! He does a Spinaroonie. This six-man tag (Jericho/Chavo/Calo vs. Konnan/Parka/J.L.) is fast-paced and fun. Dusty notes that Sherri is looking "A little top-heavy" at ringside for a Harlem Heat/Joe Gomez and Renegade semi-competitive squash. She has been pushing it with the tops the past few weeks. LOL, Dusty is so mean: "Well, she got into a size five when she really wears an eight." That's some heel shit, Big Dust, come on. I feel bad for laughing. Alex Wright is such a fun wrestler. He's probably not right for the era he comes up in, though. Ten years earlier or ten years later, I think he has a better career. The crowd is not here for fiery babyfaces who can't promo in 1997, though. This match with Chono is solid, another really good performance from Wright, though it's somewhat marred by Nick Patrick, nWo ref, which is the worst long-running angle during the 83 weeks. Others are on the shortlist - Benoit/Sullivan, I'm staring right at you - but this is the worst. Somebody was watching In Living Color when they came up with the Public Enemy merch ads with PE pushing possibly-stolen WCW goods out of the back of a truck. Eddy and Norton is basically Norton doing strongman shit and tossing Eddy around, which I think would be fine except that Eddy's the current United States Champion. I don't think Norton is at Meng level yet where I can buy a secondary champ struggling against him and still being legitimately at that secondary champ level. Maybe in six months of effective Norton gatekeeper work, I'd feel differently. There's a contrived ref bump so DDP can come in from the crowd - dressed in a Packers SB Champs shirt to max out the crowd love - and hit Norton with a Diamond Cutter. Eddy follows up with a Frog Splash and Patrick reluctantly counts three, but boy did Eddy look weak as fuck there. The Giant can't cut a promo without a silly metaphor. He's cutting a decent one when he decides to use a match as a metaphor and actually has a match with him that he lights and blows out to drive home said metaphor. Please stop, my guy. Oh wow, Chris Benoit and Kevin Sullivan immediately fight into the stands and through the arena. How exciting! I haven't seen that before. They took that "fight into the restroom" thing and drove it DIRECTLY into the ground. Who gives a fuck anymore? This feud is awful. At least this match is shorter and the crowd pops for Woman hitting Sullivan with the chair so Benoit can win. This show might have the final Steiners vs. Quebecers/AFCs match ever, or one of the last, and I am here for it. They had some great chemistry in the WWF. The opening is a bit disjointed, honestly. The Steiners come in hot, but their timing feels a bit off, and Scott Dickinson is noticeably out of place at least once. Then, a commercial break cuts out most of the AFC's heel control segment. This was sort of a bummer, actually. Dusty gets scared by Lex's pyro. MY COAT'S ON FIRE! Luger/Hall is a huge match for me, personally. I find myself gravitating toward matchups between some combination of Sting/Luger/Hall/Nash/Giant with DDP/Syxx/Eddy/Booker/Scott Steiner/Rey/Regal thrown in the mix as the matchups that I want to see. I'm pretty much done with the old guard - if Hogan, Piper, Flair, and Arn disappeared from TV entirely, I'd be fine with that. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I didn't miss Savage for the two months he was at home, and he's maybe my favorite wrestler ever. The Horsemen are still wild over, so Flair and Arn should absolutely be on TV, by the way. I recognize that. I just don't want to see these guys wrestling. This is a common complaint, I know, but I think as early as late 1996's shows, I'm there. Most don't really say this until 1998's shows, IIRC. The company also needed to decouple itself from Hogan quicker, to the point that I think it was a mistake for Bischoff to wait until Starrcade 1997 to run Sting/Hogan. It should have happened at Starrcade 1996. You can always bring Piper in to wrestle Hogan and keep them in their own universe if you really want to, but these shows are hurt by a lack of Sting. We basically lost 1.5 years of still-prime Sting while he wandered around the catwalks. Heck, they were the last 1.5 years of Sting's prime, actually. I also am much higher on Sting in-ring than a lot of folks, though, so YMMV. The match! Yes, it's perfectly fine. Nash and Syxx run interference outside. Hall's weeble-wobble selling is pretty great. The nWo is mad over, but the crowd wants the Torture Rack. I want the Torture Rack. The Torture Rack is a cool finisher. Is anyone currently using it? They should be. Luger fights off Syxx and Nash before racking Hall, but Nash is back up and eats a metal forearm. Luger fights off both guys for a long time and looks awesome. Give Mark Curtis credit for not calling for the bell until the point at which an nWo member NOT in the match hits Luger. He gave dude every chance to pull it out. The Steiners come down for the save and everyone brawls. Give me a six-man tag between these guys, please. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1256428

Starrcade '96 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1251278 Malenko always does this cursory mat work that is totally unnecessary. His idea of selling an armbar is to be visibly thinking about the next spot before remembering to sell for two seconds. He just screws up his face in an unconvincing show of pain before going back to thinking about the next move. At least Ultimo Dragon sold the interminable legbars. Malenko also wasn't athletically crisp tonight. Speaking of not athletically crisp, Madusa really needed to stop trying moves that she wasn't athletic enough to do. Her match with Akira Hokuto was mostly hair whips, chokes, and ugly-looking high spots. I think Heenan was chugging the vodka hidden in his water bottle during Rey/Liger. He totally gets confused when Tenay compares this matchup to the opener and starts talking about how Rey can't be worrying about Ultimo Dragon right now because he's facing Liger. Then, Dusty asks Heenan a question about Liger looking heavier since the last time he was in WCW and Heenan blanks for so long that Dusty just moves on and asks Tony. Dusty is amazing, on the other hand. He gets such a kick out of Tenay calling a dragon screw: "I'll need to remember that one for later tonight! Honey, what was that? Oh, that was a dragon-screw leg whip!" The match itself is fun. It's not the quality of match you might expect on a marquee PPV between two of the twenty best wrestlers ever to step in the ring, but it's still good. I partially blame the Nashville crowd, which is more interested in starting U-S-A chants whenever possible so far tonight rather than paying attention to the wrestling itself. They're weirdly dead for most of this. Liger had a sweet counter for Mysterio's springboard rana. Woman has an incredible performance in the Jarrett/Benoit No DQ match. She distracts Jarrett, yanks Benoit out of the way of another Jarrett charge, and scratches Jarrett's eyes to break up his Figure Four attempt. Then, the Dungeon runs down to abduct her and she punts Hugh Morrus right in the balls. Seriously, she's one of my favorite managers ever at this point. The end is all the crowd cares about, which involves Arn pretending to support Jarrett at ringside only to DDT him and toss him back in the ring. Jarrett would normally be food except that Sullivan hammered Benoit with a chair. Arn takes a peek into the ring when the ref's about to count three and does a fine job of looking shocked at the finish. Dusty when Woman hit that dick kick: "She kicked him right in the vitals!" I love Dusty on commentary. Last week, I saw him do awesome color commentary on World Class TV and then get into a brawl with Bob Roop at ringside. Dusty + color commentary = the best (I know we all know this). When Mongo and Debra come out post-match to shit on Benoit for losing, the crowd goes near-nuclear as soon as Debra tries to talk. She then says that Woman has been "rode hard and put up wet too many times." What is this, ECW? The Outsiders/Faces of Fear match was great. It was big dudes clubbering and punching and doing clotheslines until Kevin Nash hit a Jackknife on Barb for the win. He got up fired up, too, like he knew he was just in a war and was feeling the victory. Great match, but actually only the second-best match on this show. Eddy/DDP was the least of their 1996 Clash/PPV trilogy, but not because the guys didn't try hard. They just didn't have a match that really flowed until toward the end, when DDP's sack got pulverized when he failed to hit a top-rope move. This was the first of three-straight matches, and fourth of five matches to end the night, that had interference, but I was fine with it as the Outsiders punished DDP for refusing to join the nWo with a Razor's Edge Then they yapped the belt off Eddy, who had nary an idea what happened since he was down at ringside the whole time, and whose Frog Splash on top of the damage DDP took from the Razor's Edge was more than enough for a win. Luger and the Giant had a GREAT match, legit fucking great. I'd place it among their best matches for both men. Luger came out like the Terminator, coming at the Giant in waves until the Giant hit a clothesline that led into a fun-as-hell control segment where he hit elbowdrops that landed with a meaty smack and did one of my favorite methodical beatdowns I've seen in a wrestling ring. According to the rule of threes, he showed hubris three times when he should have been more careful or tried to get the win. On the third time - a missed dropkick upon which he took an awesome bump - Luger beat his ass and racked him twice, both times interrupted by nWo interference. Cue Sting, who came down past some drunk Nashville fuck who had to be pushed back by a cop after getting all in the Stinger's grill. Sting comes in, drops a bat, whispers words of sadness and longing into the ears of both Luger and the Giant, and leaves. Luger, with assistance from a forearm to the nuts, takes possession of the bat and drops the Giant for three. The crowd went nuts. I legit applauded in my house. This match absolutely RULED. I will give Piper and Hogan credit for trying their hardest to follow that, and in truth, their match was decent for its type ('90s era wandering brawl that turns into an interference-fest during the end run). We're leading up to the Giant getting booted from the nWo since he had Piper up for a chokeslam, but Piper escaped it and put the sleeper on Hogan. Funny enough, some Nashville nutbar tried to run in during that spot, so I feel as though the Giant had a legit reason for not hitting the chokeslam - he wasn't sure he had space to drop him, what with the fracas in the ring. Anyway, Piper wins, but Hogan is very insecure so he gets the WCW Championship (not on the line tonight even though Dusty sure thought it was after the bell) and poses to the nWo music as the show ends. The best spot in the match is probably Randy Anderson holding Hogan's arm up three times when Hogan's in the sleeper. On the third time, it drops, and Anderson does this really great double-take and steps back in surprise before calling for the bell. Yeah, I understand why you didn't expect that, ref. This show was the inverse of what people say WCW shows were typically like in this era. The flippy guys cutting a fast pace were okay, I guess. The big dudes throwing beefy forearms were great, on the other hand. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/5/#findComment-1251280

World War 3 1996 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1244963 Tony drops that insider lingo about Bischoff: "he made his turn...or did what he did." No need to correct yourself, Tony, we already had I RESPECT YOU, BOOKERMAN. Ultimo Dragon and Rey Misterio Jr. (the latter of whom is wearing the awesome Spidey-Suit) is a really fun opener. Dragon does some cool shit in his offensive control segment, and the crowd appreciates it. Special shout-out goes to the airplane spin backbreaker and the powerbomb/Stun Gun combo. They're also delighted by the Giant Swing spot because Dragon sells dizziness after tossing Rey. No one reacts for the sick fisherman buster Dragon hits but me, though. They have a 2.9 run that ends when Misterio's springboard rana that he's using as a finish gets reversed into a sitout powerbomb that finally gets three. This was awesome. I question the booking of Teddy Long as Chris Jericho's manager for his match against Nick Patrick. Teddy Long's been doing nothing but managing jobbers to losses for the last three or four months. The crowd is into this at the start, though. I accept that the there is a difference between the WCW crowd's interest in Nick Patrick breaking bad and my interest in it. I am roundly in the minority. They do calm down pretty quickly. I guess there are only so many arm drags and kicks that Jericho can do before the crowd is ready for the fuckery and the finish. I think this match, while not long, could have stood to be even shorter. Jericho wins relatively easily to a somewhat muted pop. Was Nick Patrick's arm under the ropes? Let's hope this isn't a continuation of the angle. At least the commentators don't say anything about it on replay. Jeff Jarrett continues what might be his most enjoyable (to me) run of in-ring work ever with his match against the Giant. It's a solid big man/(relatively) little man match to follow up on their match at Havoc. We cut away to Sting walking around in the catwalk, which is too bad because it takes the focus off Jarrett getting murked and doing some excellent bumping and selling. But Sting is awesome, so I'll accept it. The Giant has his working boots on, too, and takes a sweet bump to the floor. What's hilarious, though, is that EVERYONE IN THE ARENA is focused on Sting, losing their fucking MINDS about Sting, and only Pee-Wee Anderson is unaware that Sting is stalking to the ring at molasses speed. He is TOTALLY focused on the Giant spilled out at ringside while Sting walks the catwalk, comes down the stairs with an escort, slowly enters the ring, Scorpion Death Drops Jarrett, paces around a bit, and then slowly leaves. What the fuck? It's a hilarious visual. In terms of "refs be acting dumb," this might be the pinnacle of that trope. Oh man, it was so stupid that it genuinely enhanced this match. Five Stinger Splashes. Anyway, the Giant beats the count and wins with a chokeslam. Tony's on fire tonight. As Eric Bischoff, Ted DiBiase, and Virgil Vincent saunter down the aisle to meet Roddy Piper in the ring for Hogan/Piper contract signing, Schiavone says "I never thought I'd see Eric and Vince walk down the aisle together." It got a genuine laugh from me and, while it didn't make this shitty segment worth it, I appreciated it. Piper is all like YOU'RE GAY BISCHOFF, YOU TOTAL GAY GUY, YOU and references the New Kids on the Block in 1996 and yells a bunch of shit and it's fucking AWFUL. This guy fucking SUCKS. Terrible, terrible, terrible. He's also stupid enough not to make the match a WCW World Heavyweight Championship match even though he gets the contract he wrote signed as-is. Oh man, this was some truly shitty TV PPV. If I'd paid to watch this garbage, I'd be heated. Hogan comes out and shows everyone Piper's hip replacement scar. It comes off poorly. Then there's a one-sided brawl since it's Piper versus the entire nWo. I am dreading Starrcade's main event. "O Canada" is one of the best national anthems, fun to sing, and so the Amazing French Canadians butchering the hell out of it is a legit heat-getter for me. This is a solid match they have with Harlem Heat because the AFCs have awesome offense and so their control segments are always fun. Booker is also a good FIP because he'll over-elaborate on bumps. The crowd is quiet as hell, though. I guess they're coming down from the black hole of a segment before this match. The AFCs hit a Boston Crab/top-rope legdrop combo that deserved more love, dammit! They wake up a bit for Stevie's hot tag, but only a bit. A ref bump leads to a ridiculous assisted cannonball attempt from the AFCs that includes stairs and a table. It whiffs, PCO eats a Harlem Hangover, and Sherri gets to beat up Rob Parker, which the crowd is solidly into and so am I. TAKE THAT, YOU CAD. Dusty rightly warns Sherri against a potential wardrobe malfunction considering what she wore to this impromptu match. Is there anything a southern wrestling crowd loves more than a woman kicking the shit out of a man in the wrestling ring? I include myself in this even though I wasn't born in the south myself. I can't wait for Miss Jackie to beat the shit out of Disco or to help Kevin Sullivan out by fucking up his jobber opponents. Dusty calls it the "cruiser heavyweight title" during the Dean Malenko/Psicosis match. Classic Dusty. This is a very mat-based match that loses the crowd almost entirely, and I just don't see the struggle in the matwork to make it compelling at all, either. The match just never makes it out of first gear. It's a surprisingly poor effort for these fellas. Malenko wins with a rollup and bridge to mild applause. I love the start of the triangle tag match: Hall and Nash come out first, are dumped from the ring by the Nasty Boys when they come out, and then are beaten up around ringside when the Faces of Fear come out. I wish this had just been a tornado tag (which is a common wish of mine in these triangle tags, so sorry for being repetitive). Then, as the Nastys and FoF attack each other, the Outsiders just chill and watch the chaos. It's a safe bet since they know that their opponents are dumb enough to tag them in rather than having the insight to lock them out of the match. Then again, Nash ends up blind tagging Meng anyway, so they always had things under control. Anyway, this match just got me hyped for the eventual Faces of Fear/Outsiders two-on-two match, is what it did. The crowd wants wild brawling and wakes up when it happens. I am in agreement with the crowd on this point. Anyway, Meng and Knobbs are dumb enough to tag Hall and Nash in. Tony's smart enough to call this out, at least. Anyway, this ends up causing fuckery that leads to Hall using Jimmy Hart's megaphone on Knobbs's head. A Jackknife Powerbomb later, and the Outsiders retain. Great, let's get the Nastys out of the way and put some good tag teams in here against Hall and Nash going forward. It's battle royal time! Before it starts, we get an update on the Benoit/Sullivan feud (a Dungeon-led bathroom attack on Benoit at a Baltimore house show pushes the feud forward, though man did they milk the "fight in a bathroom" stuff a bit much for my tastes). Anyway, random notes: DDP smokes a cigar on his way to the ring. What a guy. It's a Bunkhouse Buck appearance! Wait, I thought Lex and Arn were wrestling at this PPV? I realize now that they did not. Maybe I misunderstood and they're wrestling at Starrcade. Jimmy Graffiti leveled-up his ring attire. The pop for Hacksaw is dispiriting. Chris Benoit looks fucked up, man, fuuuuuuuuuck. At least some of that is makeup, I hope. The Horsemen and Dungeon jump on each other outside the ring before the match even starts. They fight into the stands and never actually enter the battle royal proper. I love that while WCW continues its petty feuding with one another, the nWo is just chilling in the corner of one ring watching everyone else get beat the fuck up. They only stray from the corner to pick off individuals who wander into the wrong neighborhood. I mean, they are SO MUCH SMARTER than WCW. They are the Doink to WCW's Crush. Poor Lee Marshall got knocked down. He looks legit hurt, but I didn't see what happened. I Googled quickly and it looks like the Faces of Fear legit fucked him up for some reason? What the fuck? Very uncool if it's legit. Why would they do that? I love the idea of this match, but the split screen makes it aesthetically tough to watch at home until it gets knocked down to ten guys all in one ring. I am very excited about this Giant/Roadblock showdown. It delivers, too! Everyone ganging up on Ron Studd is awesome. I'm a huge fan of the "ganging up on the big dude" spot in battle royals. Of course, everyone is dumb enough to forget the rules of the match and try to gang pin him, but still. Bagwell eliminates Riggs; the American Males consider exploding. They keep the split-screen even when everyone is in the same ring for some unknown reason. VINTAGE CRAIG LEATHERS. We finally get WCW to face off with the nWo..when WCW is down to six dudes. Total Kona Crush move, WCW. The Giant's elimination of Rey Misterio Jr. is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen in a wrestling ring. He tosses him with about the same amount of care as he did when he slammed a restrained Misterio laying on a backboard into the ringpost, but at least Misterio could protect himself this time. Luger taking on four nWo guys is perfect booking. Luger nearly racking the Giant gets a massive pop. His twin eliminations of Hall and Syxx are great. On the other hand, choosing to rack Nash when the Giant is still in the ring is a poor decision that is befitting of Luger's inability to get the job done when it matters in big spots. The Giant wins, which I'm pretty sure facilitates his exit from the nWo in a few months. When is the WW3 winner's title shot normally cashed in? Slamboree? I'm thinking the Giant's nWo stint doesn't last until that PPV. The first half of the show and the last ten men part of the battle royal were generally quite good. Everything else was fine. Good show and worth stopping to watch. Now back to Nitro! Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1245571

Halloween Havoc 1996 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1242586 Dean Malenko/Rey Misterio Jr. is a wonderful opener, though you don't need me to tell you that. They work in some nice wrinkles and counters that are clearly based on each wrestler knowing the other a bit better based on past matchups. That's one of my favorite pro wrestling tropes and it isn't used consistently enough. The transition into the second Malenko control segment is a good example because Malenko has been headscissored out of the position that he's in about a billion times before, but this time, he sees it coming and uses Misterio's momentum to hit a side slam instead. They also got me on a 2.9 sequence at the end that was really well-worked. The actual finish was amazing - both guys countered each others' killer moves (the top-rope gutbuster for Malenko, the top-rope rana for Misterio), and Malenko improvised a top-rope powerbomb that he'd never used before to get the win and the gold. Awesome, awesome match. The crowd is initially hot for DDP/Eddy, and it's good to see. Then, after the initial brawling, they start working holds. Things quiet down. They needed more brawling and bombs early because I think they got over the blood nature of this feud successfully. Working headlocks, even with both guys working for counters and struggles, probably wasn't the right way to go. You've got two guys with explosive offense and a heel in DDP who is a fantastic stooge. Then again, what do I sound like telling a top-10 pro wrestler ever and a guy who'd go somewhere on my top-100 list how to work their match? I will say again that it's clever how Nick Patrick's favoring of DDP in a string of matches over the past few weeks ends up mattering narratively; I can't remember if it's stated outright or merely implied, but Hall and Nash leaned on him to be favorable to DDP to try and sway him to join the nWo when the time came. DDP almost fucks it up by pushing Patrick, but he makes up with him by shaking hands. It's a quality spot. DDP's offense is so good that it's turning him face. He probably needed to tone it down a shade because he's such a good scumbag, but then he hits a nice lariat or gutbuster or pancake, and the crowd is like "that guy is nice." I also dig his in-ring vocalizing. I feel like DDP doesn't get enough flowers. Eddy does, as he should, and his selling and bumping during DDP's control segment really puts across how dangerous DDP's offense is. It's so dangerous, in fact, that we don't get a late reversal-fest and DDP doesn't have to finagle it onto Eddy. He just escalates his endgame offense until all that's left is to hit a Diamond Cutter for three. Someone wins a monster truck. Randy Savage does the drawing himself. He does a drumroll and is really locked into being the best promotional person ever for a guy who has been traumatized by his ex-wife trying to reconcile with him these last few weeks. He flirts with the winner in an attempt to get a ride in her newly-won truck. Savage is the BEST, and you all know this, but yeah. He's so great. What a showman. You know who's not a showman? Dean Malenko. He cuts a victory promo that is the downer to the Macho Man's upper. The Giant is more over as a face than Jeff Jarrett. Having Flair come out to support Jarrett at ringside was a canny move to try and cut this reaction off, but it didn't quite work. It doesn't help that the Giant looks awesome in launching Jarrett a couple times, including on an impressive-looking beal. I just think Jarrett past the age of like 22 is a natural heel (though again, Single Dad Jarrett is low-key one of the most sympathetic faces ever). Flair yelling at Jarrett to get up and beat the Giant's ass is pretty great, though. Jarrett works his ass off bumping and selling and throwing some very high dropkicks to the Giant's face on his comebacks. There's a fuck finish, but it's fine. I actually think it sets up future Jarrett and Flair matches for The Giant nicely. Jarrett/Giant should be the final matchup for the now-vacated U.S. Championship if the booking gets right. Ted DiBiase cutting interviews with nWo members in the crowd, standing under an nWo banner, is a great visual. I love that this stairwell with the nWo banner is not only an interview location, but that the nWo enters coming down the stairs. Syxx/Jericho is as good as you might imagine. The early exchanges are worked at Smackdown: Know Your Role-type speed and look great, but Syxx actually works like a mean heel too, whipping Jericho into the rail and mudhole stomping. He's not out here to the the most athletic athlete ever as a heel. We get a bunch of shots of the Dungeon of Doom in the crowd; the Dungeon shouldn't still exist. They are pointless in late-1996 WCW. Kevin Sullivan being on TV in October of 1996 is absurd. Anyway, I totally dig Syxx's heel control segment, and when he relinquishes control to Jericho, it's with a wild corner bump off a whiff. Dusty uses the term slobberknocker on commentary. The only issue with this match is Nick Patrick slow-counting all Jericho's pin attempts so that Syxx can kick out, but efficiently making the count on a Syxx spin kick. Syxx got hammered right in the face at some point and is bleeding in his mouth. Great match that deserved better than a shitty heel ref angle at the end. Luger cuts this wonderful, dumb fiery babyface promo in which he uses gardening metaphors effectively. PUT THE BIG GOLD ON HIM ALREADY His match with Arn Anderson is interesting. Arn just wants to beat Luger up, but Luger specifically wants to destroy Arn with the Torture Rack, so he targets Arn's back. It's fascinating because usually, these strategies would be reversed based on the face-heel alignment. Arn ends up attacking Luger's back solely out of prudence once Luger eats an Arn spinebuster and sells his own back injury. Eventually, Luger destroys Arn's back with a chair on a ref bump, but that's cool since Arn did the same to Luger on a Nitro a couple weeks before this one. Luger gets a submission off the Torture Rack, but Luger takes a little extra time to let Arn go, to the delight of the Dungeon of Doom and most of the rest of the crowd. Good stuff. I love WCW-ass WCW matchups. They're part of what makes WCW a special thing. Faces of Fear vs. Mongo and Benoit is one such matchup. Meng and Mongo have a shoulder block war! Barbarian and Benoit beat the shit out of each other! Jimmy Hart, Woman, and Debra are the best seconds a pro wrestler could ever ask for! Man, when pro wrestling is good it's good. I wish we could get Meng and Mongo as a tag team and also in a buddy cop movie where they uncover corruption in the force and then beat up a bunch of rogue cops and then somehow both win dual mayorship of the city and led it into a new age of prosperity. Anyway, Mongo's successful Halliburton shenanigans and a Benoit headbutt put paid to Meng. The Dungeon jump out of the crowd and beat up the Horsemen. Benoit fights valiantly, but falls to the numbers game. Arn, Flair, and Jarrett are nowhere to be seen after Arn's stretcher job from the last match. It's a good segment in a vacuum, but Sullivan/Benoit/Nancy is a weak angle. In the alternate universe where Pillman re-signs with WCW and doesn't roll his vehicle, we'd have a much better situation because Pillman would have been good enough to carry a decent feud with Sullivan. Hall and Nash get Diesel and Razor chants against Harlem Heat. Boy, the crowd wants them to be tag champs so badly. As we start this match, Tony notes that Savage was way more chipper than normal recently during the monster truck drawing and is hopeful that it means that Savage is focused. I'm so glad someone said something about Savage's mood being incongruent with how he'd been acting the past few weeks! I liked this match because it observes three C's of wrestling that, when applied together, I am very into: clubbering, cheating, and cocky taunting. Sherri slaps Hall, who kisses her in response, and it gets a massive RAZOR chant and Tony saying "Well, she asked for it," and I am overwhelmed with the very good, the bad, the pro wrestling-ness of it all. Stevie Ray gets a hot tag that wins the crowd over once he throws Hall at Nash. The crowd's into the Harlem Hangover, too, but Parker getting unnecessarily involved and giving his cane up to Nash for what ends up being a tainted Outsider victory is great, too, and pays off Harlem Heat not wanting Parker to join the management team. This was - you're not going to believe I think this - a fantastic match. Hogan's got his ridiculous hairpiece in and says YO YO YO, so I guess he gets that he sucks and that he needs to lean into his corniness. He shills a bunch of bad movies that he's in before his match with Savage. At least now he's a heel who steals other people's catchphrases instead of a face. I should probably appreciate a stalling cowardly heel act more than I do. Maybe it depends on the stalling cowardly heel. I mean, Hogan is acting like a dorky, out-of-touch coward, as he should. Maybe I just never want to see this guy again? Maybe watching his putrid WCW face run (the first one) was too much for me? I don't know. The crowd is hot for it! The flaw is in me, I think. You know what's not flawed? Savage shilling for Slim Jim on his tights. His Halloween-themed tights. Liz comes down to the ring wearing a dress that is well-cut, so that's also something! I guess my lusting over Elizabeth's lovely bust is a sinful feeling that needs to be repaid with celestial punishment because not five minutes after she comes down, Hogan hangs a full moon when Savage pulls his tights down. I deserved it for going fully Smellynetico. Anyway, the crowd is hot, but I do not like this match or any of the bullshit Liz-involved shenanigans therein. I guess Steve Austin saw Nick Patrick refuse to count three and decided to knock out and make the ref count three himself if it ever came to that, so at least that's something. OH NO, RODDY PIPER. FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUCK This show made me want to play some WCW/nWo Revenge, so I think I will. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1243224

Fall Brawl 1996 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1234558 Chavo/DDP was fun, as expected. I probably need to revisit my opinion of Chavo, who did young fiery babyface and hardened vet so well, who was versatile enough to work face or heel, and who even *whispers* looked like he might get that incredibly dumb Kerwin White gimmick over before Eddy passed and they nixed it. Meanwhile, Page uses his size and his cool offense to great effect, and Chavo countered a few of Page's usual power moves, which is understandable since they'd wrestled already and Guerrero is put over as a young student of the game on commentary. It's enough that DDP gets a little desperate and does stuff you don't normally see from him, like a diving clothesline from the top rope that gets a massive pop. By the way, DDP is over and getting face pops for his offense at this point, not just here, but even on Nitro sometimes. The nearfall on the spinning sitout powerbomb and then the eventual Diamond Cutter for three are loudest. I'm not vibing with this ten-minute long recap of the nWo angle. I would assume that anyone who bought this PPV kinda was already following the shows religiously. I will say that it might be useful now, though, in the streaming era during which a viewer randomly picking shows from the past that they want to see might need the recap to orient themselves to what's going on at the time of the show. Ice Train is built like a brick and has some nice agility. He's a good leaper for his size. I wonder why he never quite put things together. Scott Norton is another guy whom I like, but who didn't really ever put it all together, at least stateside. Fire and Ice lasted too briefly, and I wonder if maybe they should have just kept them together long-term instead of what they ended up doing. Speaking of never quite coming together, this submission match doesn't ever quite do so, though there are nice moves and sequences within the match. There's no real flow and no proper build-up to any of the submission attempts. Also, Teddy Long being a doof who wants to throw the towel in for his charges as soon as they get into trouble is genuinely terrible. What a waste of Teddy Long, who is actually pretty funny and a good actor in angles and skits. Everyone in this match feels wasted, is what I'm saying. Except maybe for Mark Curtis. I do like that Norton is so red already that it legit looks like he's passing out in the full nelson. Konnan and THA JOOCY ONE throw bombs at each other for ten or twelve minutes. The crowd is entertained by this, and so am I, generally. But the most entertaining thing in the match might not be the Juice ropewalking across both rings into a rana or Konnan powerbombing Juventud out of a rana on the floor, but Jimmy Hart looking into the camera and yelling VIVA LA RAZA before cackling like an idiot. Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho have the match you'd expect them to have. The Horsemen fans in the crowd are solidly behind Benoit, and Jericho is too new to sway the rest of the crowd to his side. Jericho's work is good, but he's not the most convincing fiery babyface, so he can't pull off what a Rey Misterio Jr. can in getting over through his work. I should probably say more, but honestly, I don't care about/am sick of both of these guys. It's a perfectly cromulent PPV-length match, is pretty much it. Speaking of, Rey Misterio Jr. is over, but no one gives a fuck about Super Calo, especially the guy in the crowd that yells BOOOOOO-RIIIIIIING at him while he's in control early on. My favorite thing about watching Rey wrestle is that he does all this super-athletic stuff, but he seems like be might be on the verge of wiping out, of losing control and spilling dangerously, as he works. One of the things that I dislike about wrestling is when a guy hits their shit too cleanly and the illusion is broken. Rey walks that fine line between doing wild athletic shit and looking like he's in an actual fight. I think it was a mistake to lay out three straight matches that rely on slick counters and aerial maneuvers. DDP/Chavo was a high-energy opener, but Ice Train/Scott Norton should have been swapped with Benoit/Jericho. It doesn't help that the crowd wants to cheer for Rey doing cool offense, but the match is mostly Calo in control while Rey sells. They probably should have booked this as a five-minute glorified squash for Rey. The Nasty Boys and Harlem Heat are over, but this match is mid, largely because the Nastys were negative value past about 1994. They probably needed to go full-on wild brawl between both rings, but instead, they centered on Sherri and Parker running interference in multiple spots. My sense is that the crowd was hoping for more wild clubbering, too, as they popped for it early before it basically went away for the rest of the match. The production truck played the old Giant Dungeon of Doom theme before remembering ten seconds into it that the Giant was now nWo and hitting that theme instead. VINTAGE Craig Leathers! The crowd is excited for crazy Randy Savage showing fire, so of course we get the Giant working a backbreaker and the crowd looking at a fight elsewhere in the stands instead of at the match. I can't be too mad because the Giant actually targets Savage's back in a logical way within the match itself. But man, no one wants to see a long backbreaker and then a Boston crab and then a bearhug. This is another match that desperately needed more wild brawling. Really, this is a match where what happens is logical, but probably not what the situation called for. Giant works the back/smothers Savage, Savage targets the leg and goes for high impact moves. That makes sense! But IDK, man, IDK. Savage bodyslams the Giant, which both I and the crowd pop for, then hits the Savage Elbow before Hulk Hogan lures Savage into the aisle. Savage is smart enough to guess that it's a trap, but can't overcome Kevin Nash's chair shot. Referee Nick Patrick ostentatiously fails to notice said attack because he's checking on the Giant in the ring, so there's no DQ and the Giant wins by pinfall once the rest of the nWo get done with Savage and toss him back in the ring. The crowd is deflated. I'm already bored with Nick Patrick, Heel Ref (as anyone who has peeked into my Nitro thread lately will know), so obviously I thought that this glorified Nitro main event was mostly shit, when it comes down to it. Lex Luger is SO SHITTY A FRIEND that in the pre-main event interview, Sting busts in, and Luger says he looked that obviously fake Sting "right in the face" and "kn[e]w" it was Real Sting. What a piece of SHIT. This guy Sting stuck his neck out for Luger how many times? I'm fucking heated, I'm HEATED right now. Sting should've been like, "I'm out, gonna get Vince McMahon on the phone and try to get that Bret Hart contract for myself. Fuck y'all, WCW." The "stick around, dress like the Crow, and go on a one-man crusade to save WCW" thing is way more noble than I'd be, but of course that's why Sting is Sting. The War Games itself is fine. It's not like any of the classics from earlier in the decade or anything, but it's perfectly acceptable wrestling. This format is good, almost impossible to fuck up (though of course, WCW would find a way to do that later down the road). Luger has taken advantage of the face turn and is probably the #2 face even in front of Savage at this point. People are also hot for Luger/Hogan when Hogan hits the ring. As soon as the heels use the man advantage to take over at that point, the crowd immediately starts chanting for Flair. Flair gets in and they pop even louder for Flair/Hogan (this is in North Carolina, but still). They brought in Piper to go into Starrcade as Hogan's opponent, but they could have gone Savage, then Flair for Starrcade and saved us from experiencing Roddy Piper. It's not like the Flair/Hogan match at the Clash ended definitively, after all! Fake Sting comes out and everyone on commentary is dumb and stupid and thinks it's actual Sting like a bunch of assholes. Well, not the crowd, which clearly is like look at this fake fucking Sting and is totally dead when he enters the ring, unlike if actual Sting was out here. Hell, they fire up a WE WANT STING chant not long after Sting enters. Fake! Sting! Angles! Don't! Work! Anyway, Sting comes in, clears house, asks Lex if that was proof enough for him, and then leaves because Fuck y'all, WCW. Luger gets his ass beat, Nash gets his foot caught in the cameraman's cord while moving between rings and has to get said cameraman to untangle him, and then Nick Patrick claims that Luger quit even though maybe he didn't, I don't know or care. The crowd is straight DEAD, fellas, DEAD. Fake! Sting! Angles! Don't! Work! I do get that they needed a way to get Sting to become Crow Sting, but in practice, WCW looked like stupid assholes. If the fans knew it was a fake Sting within two seconds of seeing him, why wouldn't WCW know? Luger can't tell what Sting looks like from up close? What the hell? Actually, Fake Sting could have worked if they maybe just had fuzzy footage of Fake Sting meeting with the nWo secretly so I could buy that no one from WCW could quite tell, rather than the Fake Sting attack on Luger that Luger should have easily seen through. With the former plan, maybe I could forgive commentary for losing faith, especially after the Giant turned the week before. Savage runs out post-match, gets beat down; Liz comes out and tries to protect him, gets spray-painted. She usually wears a black dress, but made sure to wear a white one tonight so the spray paint would show up. Well, it gets heat - HOGAN SUCKS - so I guess that's something. Hogan cuts a promo while twirling his mustache and everyone stands around and brandishes spray paint and stuff. I sort of zoned out there. The Giant actually is pretty funny. He walks over to the camera and compares his spray paint abilities to Michelangelo and Da Vinci, but Hogan thinks it's the end of a Nitro, so of course he comes over and cuts the Giant off so that Hogan can steal Ric Flair's catchphrase. Oh man, then Hogan goes to the desk and talks some more. Please let Nash and Hall talk instead. I did not like this show! The opener was good, and then I thought it was sharply downhill from there for the most part. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1235419

Clash of the Champions 33 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1229286 They recap the Hall/Nash vs. Sting/Luger match from the Nitro before this. I mentioned in a post about that Nitro that they screwed up the initial camera shot on Nick Patrick's heel turn, and yeah, again, it's pretty bad. Craig Leathers and the production truck really fucked up the whole deal because the commentary can't even say anything about it until they show a different camera shot that shows Patrick yanking Hall out of the way of a Stinger Splash. Then, they don't show that camera angle in this recap and no one mentions Patrick is a heel now. Ah, WCW. Bless you. Dean Malenko matches up with Rey Misterio Jr. for the WCW Cruiserweight Championship. I like that Malenko is a heel because he'll do whatever he has to in order to be champion, including digging into his apparently deep bag of dirty tricks. His character being centered around how important it was to be champ offered so much immediate legitimacy to the title even as Bisch was rounding up the roster to make it a hotly-contested belt. I could watch Misterio be an amazing athlete all day. Anyway, you know this match is no worse than very good simply because of the competitors and their chemistry together. Malenko does a jumping brainbuster, too, which automatically adds an extra snowflake to the match. But yeah, they work the exact match they should in which Rey overcomes early Malenko chicanery and flies around, so Malenko immediately works on stopping all the flying around and tries to get a pinfall before Misterio starts flying around again. I think there's progression from past matchups because whereas in the past, Malenko tried to destroy a limb to stop Misterio's flying, this time, he tries to hit knockout blows for quick threes (which explains the jumping brainbuster). Misterio almost blows, but hits, a moonsault off the guardrail that no one pops for, not even the people who saw the move in the aisle. I feel like this is partially my less-is-more philosophy being proven right in this case. Or maybe Denver just sucks as a wrestling town tonight. Pee-Wee Anderson fucks up the call in kayfabe and fucks Malenko in kayfabe and unfortunately is the center of this weak ending that exists to justify another rematch. But the meat of the match is good! We're really doing VK Wallstreet/Jim Duggan on a Clash, huh? Fuck you, WCW. Konnan/Ultimo Dragon is an interesting matchup in theory. Very much a matchup with a range of possible quality levels. The quality level of this particular match is "too short to really be much of anything." Konnan pulls the tights to reverse a rollup for three and continues his heel turn, so at least it served some purpose. Ice Train wears tape OVER his t-shirt while chatting with fans on Compuserve. He is attacked by Scott Norton to somewhat ineffective results. He yells NORTONNNNNN and stomps off. Sure. Does Compuserve still exist? Holy shit, it does! I was all excited about Meng/Savage, but Savage is still selling the chairshots that Hogan gave him on Nitro and doesn't show. Meng wins by forfeit. Hey, this Clash kinda sucks so far. Braun the Leprechaun being on the same show as the nWo is soooooooo strange, man, so incongruous. Madusa and Bull Nakano continue their feud. I was bummed at their Hog Wild match because they generally work well together; will this match be better? No, not really. It starts out fiery, but around the point that Nakano uses nunchaku ( ) to cheat, it goes off the rails. Madusa barely hits a crossbody and it ends with Madusa rolling Nakano up off a weak kick from Sonny Onoo that misses her and hits his charge. Jesus, these two were having these dope matches in WWF and they're reduced to this in WCW. Bleh. I like the old-school promotional ads on this thing! The Super Soaker WETTER IS BETTER commercial with the drill sergeant is a classic, man. I loved when Nick Rewind was running because they left all the old commercials in. How American of me to be nostalgic for commercials, my God, but I can't help it. I have hope for DDP/Eddy Guerrero as well, and they cut a nice pace early, with Eddy posting himself almost immediately. DDP hits a sweet gutbuster and a dope tilt-a-whirl sideslam. Man, I said this in another post, but I dig DDP's offense. Anyway, this just goes so quickly, like that posting was almost immediate so we could get through the control segment and to the comeback as quickly as possible. Like, both guys hit great offense and DDP drills Eddy with a sitout powerbomb that looks and sounds great, but why can't these two get an extra five minutes to really pace out an amazing match? Eddy hits a nice frog splash for three after shoving DDP out of a superplex attempt and is now the owner of the Battlebowl ring, which Tony Schiavone describes as Eddy's first WCW title. DDP offers a handshake, gets it, and uses it as a way to pull Eddy into a Diamond Cutter. He hits a top-rope Diamond Cutter on Eddy after shoving the ref out of the ring and Chavo (in for the save) away from him. They couldn't have cut the Wallstreet/Duggan and Konnan/Dragon matches to give more time to Madusa/Nakano and DDP/Eddy? Flair cut a very late-era Flair-esque promo earlier tonight, and now Hogan cuts a very '80s-Hogan-in-the-'90s promo, which is to say it sucks and calling Flair a Stupid Little Man is not going to get over, please stop. Benoit/Giant is a zero match that is great solely because of this: The Giant hits Chris Benoit with a dropkick while Benoit has his arm caught in his vest and then chokeslams him. This is awesome; so awesome, in fact, that it eases my initial disappointment that we didn't get fifteen minutes of Benoit trying to chop The Giant down. There's one of these awful triple threat tags that WCW likes so much for the gold: Harlem Heat (c) vs. Steiners vs. Sting and Luger. If it's not a tornado tag, don't do triple threat tags. It makes zero sense for Luger or Sting to be tagged in since both of them start outside the ring. It's a better one of these than normal, and at least Sting tags himself in at one point (and people tagging themselves in is more common than it has been in past WCW matches like this, so they're figuring out the psychology here), but I just don't like the match type, and so I'm not really digging it even though everyone works pretty hard. I will note that Nick Patrick is the ref and that everyone has forgotten that he pulled Scott Hall out of the way of a Stinger Splash on Monday, even though they made a big deal of it on replay during that Nitro. I guess everyone decided to ignore that last part and just pretend that we didn't see it on replay? Commentary is treating Patrick like he didn't do anything and maybe is just having an off-week or something. So strange. Anyway Scott hits a Frankensteiner on Booker, but Nick Patrick glimpses The Outsiders standing way up at the top of the ramp after an attack on the brawling competitors outside the ring and calls for a no contest or something instead of counting three. I'm feeling like they're fucking up this Nick Patrick thing. HE ALREADY TURNED. Why try to gin up more intrigue? We all saw Nitro! Hogan/Flair for the BGB is the main event. I think, even with the passage of time, there's novelty in Flair working as a quasi-face here. He shows babyface fire, but also cheats whenever he can. Hey, he's still a heel to the rest of the roster. Hogan Hulks Up, and his idea of a subversion is to have Flair dodge the legdrop. I think actually, the subversion should have come earlier in the sequence. Like, Hogan shakes off punches, YOUUUUUUs, and then gets poked in the eye by Flair and gets his comeback killed. This ends in a big schmozz when Flair has Hogan in the Figure Four and everyone and their mamas run in. Not a good show! It could have been, and probably this show needed fewer matches so they could give a couple of these matches more time. It also shouldn't have had a standard triple-threat tag title match and just done a straight 2v2 match OR done a tornado triple threat tag. The opener, the main event, and The Giant demolishing Benoit are worth your time, though. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/4/#findComment-1231048

Hog Wild notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1227696 I'll refrain from more notes beyond this one about the germ-infested dolts in this Sturgis crowd, but they suck and they ruined a lot of these matches with their lack of understanding about what they were watching. In retrospect, Bischoff is a fool for having the first PPV post-Hogan turn in front of a crowd like this rather than in Baltimore or Charlotte or Atlanta or somewhere that the fans would really know what they were in for. The Bash was so hot, and then this PPV happens? Rey Misterio Jr. is great at doing elaborate flippy shit without making it look like a gymnastics routine. The same is true for these high-speed epic exchanges that end in a standoff. Ultimo Dragon, not so much. If there's one wrestling trope I hate, it's "epic exchange, standoff, crowd goes apeshit." Rey is a great wrestler, though. He actually got himself over with this crowd through his work. I'm slowly getting on the "Rey is a top-twenty wrestler ever" bandwagon, which I assume exists, and it's because he works miracles. The way he got himself over in front of this crowd = miracle. LOL, Schiavone calls the Sturgis Rally attendants "odd" people and then says basically, but some of the bikes are cool. I fell out laughing. Train/Norton was hurt by working around Train's worked shoulder injury, I think. Also, they broke up way too quickly for this match to have any emotional impact, but the match is worked like it expects the viewer to feel said impact. Madusa and Bull Nakano have had better matches than this one. It wasn't bad, but it was sort of disappointing. It was nothing approaching their RAW match. Malenko/Benoit was very good. Benoit is good at infusing matches with a sense of struggle, which I think is what elevated the match most. Malenko is a bit too clean in his work and, when paired with someone else trying to cleanly bump or hit moves, it all feels like a stage play to some degree. Benoit wrestles like he's actually in a fight, which might be the single-best quality that a wrestler can be great at in the ring. His issue is, of course, having negative charisma (as I'd assume many family annihilator weirdo types do, tbh), so it's hard to feel the weight of his in-ring struggle, particularly as a face. Few wrestlers were less suited to a prominent spot in WWE. Woman getting on the apron and Heenan saying CHECK THE GAMS ON HER was like the somehow charming version of PUPPIES. It's the word "gams," is what it is. Likewise, if you're going to do well-tread spousal humor, you need to get it right. Like so. Heenan: [Woman's] yelling at [Benoit] to encourage him. When a woman yells at you [Tony], isn't it to encourage you? Tony: Nah, she just yells at me. Heenan (taking a second to get his composure, laughing): She just YELLS at you? Tony: Yep. Heenan: You deserve it. The crowd audibly booing at the second overtime announcement from Penzer during this match is hilarious for so many reasons. I want to give some credit to Harlem Heat and The Steiners for running with the crowd reaction. Stevie and Booker immediately start hating on the crowd vocally and cartoonishly reacting to the engine revving, hands clapped over their ears and stomping around angrily. Scott incorporates stuff he doesn't do a lot of like the ten punches in the corner because he knows that this crowd will recognize that spot and count along with it. Also, Scott yells SHUT UP, BITCH at Sherri, which is totally uncalled for and unnecessary considering that he's the face, but also which obviously pops this crowd. Booker crotching himself on the ropes: great spot for this crowd. These teams just worked the whole thing really smartly for the audience they were in front of. I mean, I think Booker was legit irritated, but he used those feelings to his advantage! They have a montage of all these WCWers on bikes and shit, but the best part is Mongo holding Pepe, who is wearing a motorcycle helmet, and declaring that they're ready for the Outsiders. Then he flicks a tiny switchblade, positioned so that it looks like Pepe flicked it. This guy is a fucking treasure. Eddy/Flair was great on Nitro awhile back. This is not nearly as good for many reasons. But I do wonder what Flair has said about Eddy in the past because he clearly respects the guy and works hard when he's in the ring with him. Or maybe he respects the family name/other Guerreros he's worked with in the past? Luger/Sting and the Outsiders was a quality matchup. The Outsiders started their really good 1997 tag run here and didn't let up for the next few months. Hogan/Giant is what it is. Hogan mixing in a few chickenshit heel spots into his routine isn't enough for me in 2022, but of course in 1996, the shit felt revolutionary. The Giant being laid out for like twenty minutes in the post-match fuckery is funny as hell, like Booker laying around for a half-minute after getting Pedigree'd and still not kicking out level funny. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1229286

Bash at the Beach '96 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1222983 Rey Misterio Jr./Psicosis was more like it. That was the fast-paced, counter-filled opener that the crowd needed, and they were hot the rest of the night. Jimmy Hart is so awesome. That finish in the John Tenta/Big Bubba Rogers match got a great reaction, and it should have, and that's down to Jimmy Hart's work. I thought the foreshadowing to the finish with Bubba not being able to climb the pole was neat, too. I was thinking, "Hey, dumb-ass WCW techs set that pole too high," but nope! I am chastened. Sorry for doubting you, WCW techs. DDP worked his ASS off in that Jim Duggan match with all his heel chicanery spots and that awesome spot where he got tangled up in the ropes after an attempted headbutt and used them as a fulcrum to take a series of punches from multiple spots. Duggan is less than worthless, but DDP dragged something entertaining out of him on his own. Legit on his "can work a good match with a broomstick" shit there. Also, that piece of shit Duggan didn't even sell the Diamond Cutter so he could get some tape and throw a taped-fist punch and stand tall and chant USA and generally look like he won even if he lost. FUCK THIS GUY. The Nasty Boys and The Public Enemy had their same plunder match, but with dog collars, but at this point, the crowd is hot for everything. Dean Malenko walked out to fight Disco Inferno like a dad getting home from work and finding out from mom that little Johnny was playing with matches and burned down the shed in the backyard. Disco's dumb ass had no awareness, though. He was still dancing around in the ring like everything was good while Malenko came down and took his belt off like he was getting ready to administer a whooping. I love that Disco got his ass whooped so bad that he actually got serious and started fighting. I dig Disco's character makeup being that if he would just be focused for a few minutes, he'd actually be a damned good wrestler. The crowd was mostly quiet for this, which is too bad because it's a pretty amazing match centered around Disco's inability to keep focus. He forgets himself after big moves and starts to primp his hair before remembering, Shit, I should go for the cover, just go for the cover, Disco. He won over the booth with his performance, and they enhanced the story about Disco with their commentary. I loved this. Fantastic match layout. LOL, Debra and Mongo ditching Pepe on some road in a remote exurb and getting a poodle instead is AMAZING character development. Holy shit. It would have worked better if Pepe weren't just another lap dog, but it's still good. Imagine if Pepe was a retriever or lab instead, though. It would have been even better. Mongo is good at talking shit while he works and got his lip busted, so that made this match with Joe Gomez better than it probably had any right to be. Heenan swearing that he's always liked Mongo and Tony S. countering that they have it on tape - many, many tapes in fact - that Heenan has not was really funny. Anyway, I like Mongo. He's not the best wrestler in terms of MOVEZ~ or timing (he totally fucks up a sunset flip in this match), but he totally gets it in every other aspect. Well, maybe not reffing. My watch-back has been a re-assessment of Woman for me. She stands out as a hell of a valet. Good on promos, gets involved in matches effectively, and does it all in heels. I also love that her dick punt on Konnan in the Konnan/Ric Flair match got a massive pop. Also, Woman's high heel finally got a win in a big spot! The Horsemen are so good at pulling off plots and schemes, but the nWo shows up and they never pull off another plot or scheme again. I guess the manufactured (to the point that Kevin Sullivan encouraged his wife to leave him with his stupid-ass heat-getting schemes) hatred between Benoit and Sullivan ultimately put paid to said Horsemen/Dungeon scheme in this tag match, though. Actually, it's kind of disturbing to hear Woman yelling Stop it Chris, please, you're going to hurt him because there's just no way for me to only hear that in this narrow context of this angle. I genuinely love the "Crazy" knockoff that WCW uses for Hall and Nash. I would never have listened to Seal and thought, "Hey, you know, we should rip some of this off for entrance or video package music," so I have to give credit to whoever came up with that. What else can be said about the main event that hasn't already been said? We talked about whether or not Hulk Hogan being part of WCW's team and turning while in that role would have been better, but I guess since Hogan wasn't sure he'd turn up to the point where he actually did, there was no chance that they could have set it up like that anyway. Hey, this was crazy-effective (understatement, to be sure) as it was booked anyway. I think what does get lost in the turn and nWo formation is that the match is really good! The stuff going on in the ring before the finish is worth watching on its own merits. The Sting/Hall interactions would have had me excited for a match between them right off the jump. I sort of wish they had run an angle where Sting needed to go through the members of the nWo on his way to Hogan, but probably by that time, Hall would have been too soaked to have a good match with Sting anyway. By the time they did it in 1998, there was no less chance it'd be good considering where each guy was at in their lives. This show felt like it flew by. Even the stuff that I had less/no interest in was at worst inoffensive and perfectly fine for what it was. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1223232

Great American Bash '96 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1221916 The Konnan/El Gato match was interesting. Not great, necessarily, but interesting. The crowd was real frustrated by the Malenko/Misterio match because Misterio would do some cool aerial shit and then Malenko would shut it down and go straight to the arm bar. Actually, though, I think it's fine to frustrate the fans in that way. Most of these guys doing flippies today desperately need more wrestlers who work like Malenko to highlight their best stuff. He was a good base for the other cruisers and he knew how to contrast to a lot of the aerial shit they did so that it came off as even more spectacular. Sting/Regal was very good. That whole mini-feud was interesting from a modern perspective because Sting basically was another heel. He was portrayed as so heated over being slapped because it made him feel less masculine, so he retaliated with gay-bashing and his own slap attempts as a way to regain his sense of masculinity. Like, you could run this today as a way to turn a guy heel based on our understanding of the culture of toxic masculinity. The Baltimore crowd LOVED Benoit/Sullivan, and I get why in that time period. It's not that great here in 2022 for two reasons, IMO: 1) we've seen wild brawls like this so many times, and this one is sort of repetitive (especially each guy repeating the same bathroom spots on one another); 2) I still don't buy Benoit and Sullivan being heated at one another to warrant this type of aggression. Pillman? Yes. Sullivan did an awful job of transferring Pillman's heat to Benoit. The finish also sucked (why is standing on a table going to enhance a superplex more than just doing it from the ropes themselves?), so yeah. It was fine, I guess. The Horsemen/foobaw tag match was good! Everything Horsemen had good heat, though, as would be expected in a city located in or near the Mid-Atlantic region. Mongo big booting Flair when he did the Flair Flip/run the apron spot was creative and I loved it. Mongo looked king-sized standing over Flair on the apron after kicking him right in the face. Also, much credit to Debra TAKING THE DAMN MONEYYYYYY and convincing Mongo to do the same. What'd they do to Kevin Greene's wife? Lock her in a closet before Debra changed into her gown? I actually loved this. Also, this is another example of why Savage cracked and went nWo, and I am absolutely NEVER going to blame his character for doing that. This dude had been unfairly shitted on by everyone for months. Anyway, that match is a perfect example of why WWE's strategy to go after legit athletes makes sense. Honestly, huge dudes clubbering and throwing clotheslines and being total meathead ath-a-letes > a little guy doing flips, at least for my tastes. Luger/Giant was solid. Nick Patrick's shocked face when Luger initially racked the Giant was pretty good. That Outsiders attack on Bischoff was shocking and effective even with my jaded eyes of today. Luger stopped to check on Bisch on his way out to participate in the main event, which was a nice touch. Dusty and Tony genuinely seemed upset. Finally, and speaking of, Dusty and Tony had a night on commentary. They were EXCELLENT. Genuinely one of the best commentary performances I can remember from these two or in general re: U.S. PPVs. Tony being astonished at Mongo shaking Heenan's hand after how much they bitched at one another for months, then pointing out that he asked McMichael why he left Chicago for Green Bay in free agency and Mongo simply responding with, "Money" was really good and totally complemented that turn. Baltimore was a hot crowd as usual, and enhanced the show greatly as usual, but Dusty and Tony brought it tonight. Everyone always remembers THERE'S A LADY IN THE MEN'S BATHROOM, but yeah, they were both awesome all night. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1222432

Slamboree ’96: The Lethal Lottery notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1217453 I wanted to pull this up because I'm just through the PPV, and I actually kind of liked this show. It's a total clusterfuck, but in an entertaining way. The Steiners actually were a bit hesitant to mix it up and stuck to mat wrestling until the desperation to win overcame them. Pittman working his "I have no confidence" gimmick, not being able to lock the Code Red in properly twice, and then looking over at Teddy Long for guidance while his opponents prepared to ace him were just awful. Misuse of Pittman. The refs coming out to jump Savage before he can even get to the ring for his second-round match was some horseshit. You gotta let the match actually happen first. WCW was really punitive against Savage, but let Ric Flair do whatever the fuck he wanted. You can't even say that Savage attacked officials and that's why since Flair dropped a couple of refs on Nitros himself. Why do refs ignore the tape...and the tape dispenser...that Hacksaw's always waving around after getting a win that should be changed to a Duggan DQ? And look, I need to take a cold shower, but Kimberly in that outfit was SPECTACULAR. INSPIRATIONAL. My God. And she decided that dancing around while wearing it was a great idea! And it was! I WILL NOT SETTLE DOWN. I was almost mad that Booty Man won a first round match until I realized that it meant more Kimberly later in the show. Liger/Konnan was not particularly great (though it was decent), but it was one of those matches that '90s WCW was known for randomly booking, and I love that. Malenko's super gutbuster was used as a secondary finish, and rightfully so because it is a spectacular-looking move. I dig that the winner of the title shot ended up being a midcarder in DDP, but I don't dig that he never actually received that title shot, which I think he was supposed to get at Spring Stampede Great American Bash, maybe. This is still better than WWE-style booking, where Luger or Flair would have won it. This actually had a surprising winner for the time. Though looking at the last eight, DDP was the only guy who is probably winning this out of that group. It would have been better to bring Eddy through to this final match to make it a bit more uncertain. Even bringing Scotty Steiner would have been a good decision, I think, just to muddy the waters. Sting/Giant was good despite all the jibber-jabber that was meant to protect both guys. The Luger/Sting storyline feels more than done, but they threw some effective shit in to prolong it and to get a finish that protects Sting; however, I think the stuff on the Nitro prior should have ended all that "intrigue," which is now long in the tooth. We're two weeks from the nWo angle beginning, no need to keep it going [Note from the future: I was wrong; this was all needed so that when Luger doubted Sting, the unfairness of his doubt felt more narratively impactful]. I also think the bodyscissors spot wasn't visually striking enough to really work that well. The rest of it was pretty great, though. I just wish we could get a fifteen or twenty minute match between these two with a clean finish. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1217933

This fall is feeling loaded for me: Yotei, Outer Worlds 2, probably at least a couple of Nintendo games that the next Direct reveals.

Uncensored ’96 notes: Link to go-home Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/2/#findComment-1214130 Though I love WCW, its enduring reputation as a company (specifically in the Nitro Era) means that it’s probably right somehow that I’m ending the watch on Uncensored ’96 and a random 2000 Europe-only PPV. Uncensored 2000 is probably the worst WCW PPV of all time, but let’s find out together if Uncensored ’96 can give it a run! I don’t think it will, mind you, but that main event is vile. And the Alliance to End Hulkamania didn’t even work! It took Vince Russo’s scrawny ass to end Hulkamania in WCW! Shameful stuff on the part of the heels. The intro to this year’s show is all about the promotion of the clusterfuck cage match in which two guys fight off about fifty. Bummer. I don’t see why WCW hates Tupelo so much. What did Tupelo ever do to this company? Two straight Uncensored PPVs is too much for any city, much less a smaller one like Tupelo. Call me a typical self-important West Coast progressive if you must, but I am personally offended on Tupelo’s behalf! Well, at least our opener includes Eddy Guerrero! And, oh no, I'm going to dial that enthusiasm back a bit because his opponent is WCW United States Champion Konnan. THE FIRST ITERATION OF THE FILTHY ANIMALS PRE-EXPLODE. Since, as we have established in an earlier review, Konnan drops the gold to Flair, this match might well end with Eddy jobbing to fucking Konnan. I’m rooting for a DQ. Tony S. reminds us that this is the only title match on the whole show, which is bananas. Pay-per-views happen on TV! Book the TV champion on these shows! The whole point of the TV title is that you can stick it on a good worker who spits out fun eight-to-ten minute matches and then have them do that on your broadcasts! Anyway, Konnan ups his mat game a bit here and Eddy is Eddy. This is a pretty easy watch, especially considering that Konnan is a part of the proceedings. Eddy is just one of those guys who is extremely watchable. He has this nice legbar-into-Figure-Four transition that is just so aesthetically pleasing, as one example. Konnan works hard, but you watch his sequences right after Eddy’s, and boy, the gap in what we as kids would often call “technical wrestling skill” is apparent as heck. The first few minutes are enjoyable, with lots of reversals on the mat and both guys slowly trying to assert their leverage over one another and twist one another into knots. I’m a sucker for this sort of thing if worked even remotely competently, and between the two, this certainly is. When they fire up and do a quick sequence of trips and rope runs, the crowd is into the escalation, and they clap and do a little yelling when Konnan frustratedly slaps Eddy and Eddy responds with a slap of his own. An ED-DY chant starts up because Tupelo recognizes that Eddy rules. Konnan tries to get a KON-NAN chant going, and it does in a portion of the crowd, but the rest of Tupelo is like Steve Buscemi in that they collectively say Nah, fuck all that and redouble their noise on the ED-DY chant. I think I’d go so far as to say that I like this match enough to watch it again at some point, and we’re not even at the finish. Eddy keeps getting bested in sequences and bailing; Dusty and Heenan are doing a fine job on color of discussing the kayfabe strategy of both men in the ring. It’s the sort of solid match with good commentary that people think of when they think of how enjoyable WCW could be when it stuck to focusing on the wrestling in the ring. Eddy armdrags Konnan to the floor; Konnan is the one to walk it out this time. He gets back in the ring and tries to monkeyflip Eddy; Eddy floats through the air, lands on his feet, and reels off a run of crisp offense ending with a top rope splash to Konnan on the floor; then, he slaps hands with an excited kid at ringside. This man was pretty much born to be a professional wrestler. If you told me a mad scientist who was also an avid fan created him in a lab, I would believe you. Konnan and Eddy trade close two counts on flash pinfall attempts (and a Konnan lariat with a regular ol’ lateral cover). Konnan tries to end the match with a bomb, specifically a crucifix bomb, but it only earns two. The champion goes to the top, where he is caught by Eddy, but he rectifies that mistake by shoving Eddy all the way out to the floor and following up with a suicide dive. Konnan tries to then suplex Eddy back into the ring and stuffs a go-behind with another lariat and another two-count. He decides to go up again and gets caught again, but this time, he can’t keep Eddy from landing a superplex. How will this match end? If I didn’t know the title lineage, I’d think that Eddy had a pretty good shot at taking this one. His 2.8 off a super small package had me going, and I knew that couldn’t be the end. As it turns out, Konnan accidentally (?!?!) headbutts Eddy in the balls and gets a quick three count, which is a weak finish, but which doesn’t take away from the rest of this match being very enjoyable. Konnan tries to make friends in the end, but Eddy is not willing to patch things up on account of Konnan headbutting him in the sack. Fair! What I think I like about WCW’s house style the most, particularly on PPV undercard signles bouts, is the long feeling-out processes that would sometimes happen. That’s something that got me into the bout as wrestlers would progressively pick up the pace, with the kayfabe idea being that as wrestlers lost their cool/got impatient/got tired/picked up small injuries from the mat work, the question for the viewer would be who would make the big mistake that cost them the match. I don’t feel like that happened in the same way in other companies, even in matches that had feeling-out processes, and I feel like most matches from about 2002 on in the companies I’ve watched have openings that are more action-y and tend to be centered around establishing character beats or very simple action-focused narratives than about building a narrative of move/counter-move (e.g.: monster heel shoves face off of three straight offense attempts, tosses him to ringside, face looks at heel as if he doesn’t know what to do with him, heel does a taunt in the ring, Michael Cole points out the obvious about the face having a size disadvantage and the heel being cocksure about his ability to control the ring). This match kind of did that, but also, the feeling-out process was longer and more protracted and focused on who could get through the other’s defenses first and force a mistake. In any case, I think WCW’s openings of this type have a different feel because the progression of the action doesn’t come off as so limited to a few stock narratives like a lot of the other televised wrestling that I’ve seen. It feels a lot more like the handful of Lou Thesz matches I’ve seen where he’s obviously grappling for an opening with his opponent, or maybe like WoS in that there is a lot of work done on the mat to build to a later opening for the wrestler or maybe to induce an opponent to make a mistake five rounds later. I’m not sure if I’m entirely making sense here, but what I can definitely say is that I do like these longer opening segments in WCW undercard singles matches, even if they sometimes feel a bit aimless. When they don’t feel aimless, they’re great at making me suspend my disbelief and get into the kayfabe strategy of the match, so the benefits to them far outweigh any potential negatives. Gene Okerlund teases an interview with an (allegedly) pants-shitting Col. Robert Parker. First, though: Chat online with the Giant, who makes goofy facial expressions while messaging with you on Compuserve! I forgot that Giant/Loch Ness happened, but it’s happening tonight. Well, at least there will be spectacle in that whole deal. Col. Parker and Dick Slater step into the picture; Parker promotes his match with Madusa that is also booked for this show. He hypes it by cutting a goofy-ass promo that cracks me up in which he promises to beat Madusa for Gene, Elvis, the populace of Tupelo, and THE MALE AGENDA. Okerlund and Slater find this rant to be pretty funny, and they’re not wrong! YEAH, it’s a Lord Steven Regal (w/Jeeves) sighting! He’s wrestling Fit Finlay in a match that people love, but that I remember thinking was a little long in the tooth and (here's a word that will show up quite a bit in this review) aimless in my last viewing. Then again, Finlay walks the aisle, slaps Jeeves, and then clobbers Regal with his studded jacket. They proceed to beat the shit out of each other. I hope to admit that my last analysis of this match was dead wrong, I’ve got to tell you, and Finlay swinging for the fences on a lariat and then kicking Regal in the spine gets a pop from Tupelo and also from me. Those last moves apparently wake Regal up, who throws a couple of meaty European uppercuts and then snugly locks Finlay in a cravat, transitioning into a chinlock that traps Finlay’s arm so that Regal can throw a few punches. This is another counter-wrestling opening that spends time on the mat, but with way more hard strikes and Finlay tossing Regal into the rail and post in a brawl outside the ring. What I think is better than the stiffness of this match is the meanness. Here’s what I mean, for one example: Finlay sinks in an armbar…and then petulantly slaps Regal in the face with the back of his hand while locking him up. That slap didn’t hurt and wasn’t stiff, but it was disrespectful. That sort of thing does it for me more than stiff lariats do. Then again, these men were in what will likely end up being the first match from the Nitro Era to make the My Favorite Matches List because they piledrove each other on the hoods of tiny Japanese cars, so who am I to make a case for subtlety? These fellas throw tons of strikes at one another, and all of them look great. Most of them sound pretty good, too. They also actually work their holds; either the person giving the hold is cranking it or otherwise active in doing something to enhance it or the person in the hold is working their way out of it. I still think this match gets a bit more praise than I’d give it, but I do like it and think that I’d rate it more highly than the last time I saw it. Both men fight over a chair on the floor; then, they fight over a suplex on the apron. Regal wins that, suplexes Finlay from the ring and to the floor, and then drops a Cactus Elbow variant besides. The other thing about this match that I think makes it especially notable is Regal working like he particularly doesn’t like this Northern Irish heathen and doing out-of-character stuff like dropkicks or that apron elbow drop. Heenan and Dusty struggle with their geography, unsure of how far Ireland is from London, as part of a discussion about the geopolitical drivers of Regal’s rage toward Finlay that is making him wrestle so aggressively tonight. Tony S., on the other hand, is genuinely enjoying the beating that these men are giving one another and therefore focuses on that rather than on the interesting and complex internal politics of the United Kingdom. OK, I should have started a special feature called IT’S DUSTY TIME in which I recounted the best of Dusty’s eclectic vocabulating and prosciferating on commentary, especially as someone who also believes in adding new words with telligible definitions to our lexicon. Anyway, it’s too late for me to do that, but IT’S DUSTY TIME anyway. Commenting on an exchange in which Regal halts his attack to talk shit to Finlay and gets a palm strike right in the face as a response: “Well, when you take out time from your busy schedule to discuss somethin’, things like that can happen. You see there? Lord Steven Regal wanted to soliloquate with him, wanna go ‘head and repetend him for somethin’, and brother, he left-hooked him and you see what’s happened now, Regal’s on the bad end of that.” MAGNIFICENT. This match is very much one where two men beat the shit out of each other for twenty minutes, going slower and slower because in kayfabe all the brawling has taken it out of them and because in reality, they have worked their asses off and are probably exhausted. They fight up the aisle and toss one another into the DOOMSDAY CAGE. At that point, Robert Eaton and Dave Taylor rush the ring and put the boots to Finlay, which sparks a DQ. Oh yeah, that’s the other reason this match didn’t land for me as well; Finlay wins by DQ instead of the bout having a more definitive finish. Finlay gets up and rushes down all three Blue Bloods after the bout because HIS NAME IS FINLAY, AND HE LOOOOOOVES TO FIGHT. Good match and certainly good-list worthy, but they had a better match on Nitro destroying Datsuns in my opinion. Tony S. kicks it back to Gene Okerlund, who interviews Jimmy Hart and the Giant. Look, I appreciate worked heights and weights, but billing Loch Ness at 750 pounds is a stretch. The Giant says he’s not going to rhyme or offer up a riddle, but he does send up a weak metaphor before threatening to take the gold from Ric Flair on the upcoming Nitro. After kicking it back to the desk, we go back to Okerlund so that Okerlund can pimp the WCW Hotline and a rumor that one wrestler is leaving the ring for Hollywood. Alas, Hulk Hogan has no acting talent, so it unfortunately isn’t him. Okerlund then interviews Loch Ness, who cuts a barely passable promo on the Giant. Apparently, Jimmy Hart denied Loch Ness a shot at Hogan in the cage, which is—oh, who cares. The punchline of this interview is Gene basically being like FIX YOUR TEETH, DUDE and Loch Ness cutting a glare at Okerlund that apparently indicates the big man’s distrust of dentists or fluoride, or maybe just annoyance at Okerlund’s out-of-pocket, rude behavior. Well, we had two good matches stretching over forty-ish minutes of this two hour, forty minute long show, so now it’s time for Uncensored to live down to its reputation for the rest of our time together! Col. Robert Parker wrestles Madusa. Parker is in a suit and bolo tie. Wait, he gets rid of the tie and jacket, but otherwise, he is not exactly dressed for a fight. Madusa is breaking the flag code as usual, of course. Parker wins a couple of collar-and-elbows and is very proud of himself (Parker, hitting double biceps and grinning, yelling excitedly: LOOK AT THAT!). Madusa is amused at Parker thinking he’s doing something out here and immediately arm drags him. Look, what this match has going for it is a woman beating up a man, which Southern wrestling fans love as evidenced by not only my reviews, but Tupelo immediately getting behind Madusa and giving her a nice pop for body slamming Parker. Dick Slater walks out to support Parker, which doesn’t really keep Parker from getting his ass whipped. Madusa manages a struggle back suplex with a bridge, but Slater surreptitiously knocks her bridging leg out from under her. Parker then quickly covers and leans his considerable weight on her for three. This was the least of the man-vs-woman matches on WCW PPV from this era. Give me Jacquelyn/Disco or Gorgeous George/Charles Robinson instead any day. Hey, it’s Lee Marshall, who stands in front of a very stupid diagram of the DOOMSDAY CAGE that has been scrawled on a blackboard behind him. Forget that for now, though: Right now Marshall interviews the Road Warriors. Hawk and Animal can’t decide who starts the promo, but Animal wins out and yells about KICKIN’ BUTT as he usually does before Hawk promises to give Booker T. and Sting, reluctant tag partners as they are, severe brain damage that will cause them to be unable to control their bodily functions. Diamond Dallas Page is still trying to get Kimberly back, but instead of having a good match with Johnny B. Badd in which he fails to do so, he’s going to job to the goddam Booty Man in a "DDP leaves wrestling if he loses" match. FUCK. First, we get a Slamboree commercial. OK, Dave Penzer reiterates that the stip is that DDP has to retire if he loses, so maybe he won’t job to the goddam Booty Man. Two fans fall for the ol' hand-slap fakeout as Page comes to the ring. Meanwhile, here comes this dumbass fucking Ed Leslie, no Kimberly in sight. She is the only worthwhile part of his act. Hey, so what’s the kayfabe story on Kim and Page getting back together off-screen after this angle? Maybe Page humbling himself after all the losses he took, even with his Battlebowl victory at Slamboree, is what did it? Anyway, this is a match with Zodiac Disciple Booty Man, so suffice it to say that even though DDP is in this, I still just want it to be over. Page’s stalling is entertaining, of course, and Page gets what he can out of this bum. A significant chunk of this match really is Page complaining, stalling, and losing arguments with referee Nick Patrick. That’s smart: Page realizes that he should be entertaining by refusing to engage with Leslie for as long as he can. When he does engage with Leslie, he comically bumps for Leslie’s offense. OK, so here’s my big example: Booty Man wins a buckle bonk spot in the corner that ends with Leslie smashing Page’s face into the mat. Page wobbles to his feet, bumps through the ropes to the floor, woozily walks smack into the post, and then stumbles backwards and flips over the guardrail. Straight Looney Tunes stuff, sure, but it works for a goofy match with a guy like the Booty Man. It helps that Heenan points out that this sort of escalating bad outcome is par for the course for Page recently. Hey, it’s Kimberly! She comes to ringside in a cheerleader’s outfit that matches design with Booty’s attire. This match is too long despite Page being entertaining pretty much on his own. Page gets some control, finally, and Kimberly gets on the apron to try and encourage Booty. There is a long headlock spot. Page loses after taking a knee to the chest. Bad match, but very good performance from Page. I don’t recall the angle that allows Page not to retire from wrestling as one of the stips for this match claimed he would have to, and I watched the lion’s share of the TV from this time! Interview duty once again for Gene Okerlund: He talks to Jimmy Hart and Lex Luger. Hart says that tonight will be the last night that he leads Luger to the ring, then leaves Lex a custom airbrushed jacket and quotes a Bud Light commercial from 1991. Overcome with emotion, Hart runs off all upset while Luger talks about the danger of this stupid Doomsday Cage and having to dip out on Sting and that Chicago Street Fight that he talked Sting and the Road Warriors into in the first fucking place, which is prime scumbag shit on his part. The winner of Loch Ness vs. Giant (w/Jimmy Hart) gets a shot at Ric Flair’s big gold belt on Nitro. Flair working his formula against Loch Ness would have been entertaining, actually. Not nearly as entertaining as Flair/prime athleticism Giant, but entertaining. Nessie walks out to Rey Misterio Jr.’s future music. No, not any of his rap themes. The first theme. There’s not a ton to say about this match, but big huge dudes throwing soupbones is always interesting on a baseline level to me. The Giant misses a corner splash and tumbles over the corner strut and all the way out to the floor because he is a very good athlete, and that big bump spot is a great visual. Loch Ness hitting an elbow (and then missing another one) is a cool “mass of humanity collapsing on one another/whiffing entirely” couple of spots. Then, since Giant can’t get Loch Ness up in the chokeslam, he simply legdrops Nessie for three in a nice, Hogan-hating touch. This was perfectly fine – better than Hogan/Haystacks would have been, in fact. Still standing in front of the diagram, Lee Marshall brings in Sting and Booker T. for an interview. Book cuts in immediately and swears revenge on the Road Warriors for costing he and Stevie a shot at the tag titles back at SuperBrawl. Then, he calls himself a “straight OG brotha.” Nothing notable in Book's promo, you're probably thinking, but you forget that Sting has yet to talk. The Stinger cuts in and repeats Booker's claim; Sting asking Booker if he’s truly “a straight OG brotha from Harlem, from the streets” is delightfully hilarious. Actually, low-key, I think whenever Sting and Booker are in one another’s orbits, they end up being fun together in one way or another, and this is true all the way through the existence of the Main Event Mafia. WCW really needed to pair them together more often. Sting tries to fire Book up by asking him questions about his toughness and rep and also by giving him a few light pushes to the chest; Booker responds as such: “Don’t make me knock you out right now, sucka.” See, these two are gold together! Whoa, then Sting calls the Road Warriors “Brothers in Paint,” which is ridiculous as that is a name reserved for legendary tag team Sting and Vampiro, long did they tag together. Anyway, Booker and Sting fire each other up, and this promo honestly made me want to see them just keep tagging together as an odd couple team. I liked their chemistry in this promo so much that I’m putting said promo on a good list. Unfortunately, we have to have the match after that segment. I hate to say that about a tornado tag, too. WCW never does these matches when they have the chance, so my instinct is to praise them when they do. My memory of this match is that this was a long, aimless brawl and that I thought it would be much better than it was when I first saw it, then again years later when I second saw it. The third time around? It’s still long, but I like it better. There are a couple of spots that the crowd is clearly into, particularly Road Warrior Animal crotching Sting and then Sting getting a measure of revenge by crotching Road Warrior Hawk a couple minutes later. Later on, as Booker tries to get a submission with an armbar in the ring, Sting dispatches of Animal, grabs a chair, and comes back to the ring to batter Hawk with it. Booker stands Hawk up, and Sting rings him up with a chair straight to the dome. That would be a fair finish in my opinion, but neither Sting nor Booker sees Animal walk back to the ring and grab the chair that they dropped; Animal hits the nominal babyfaces with it, and I say that because the crowd boos Animal and then cheers Booker for a Houston Side Kick that he lands on Animal. So, the first nine or ten minutes is good, but here is about where things drift into a territory that feels never-ending in its dullness. I again think if this match had gone twelve minutes with the wonky finish it gets, it would have been considerably better. As it is, WCW has once again made a mistake by not having a TV title match on the show that would eat up eight or ten minutes and allow them to shorten at least one matches that probably needed to be shorter. They put that title on Lex Luger – a mistake since he doesn’t need it and probably isn’t the best candidate for having the sort of entertaining TV matches that the belt holder needs to work. It was also a mistake to keep DDP’s losing streak going so long, in retrospect. They should have had Page get a last chance against Badd for the belt and win it this time around before Badd left for New York though that wouldn’t help this particular card since Page was already booked to try and carry Ed Leslie to something watchable earlier tonight. Anyway, WCW did not utilize the TV title very well at all by this point, though they got much better with booking it through 1997 to about the middle of 1998. Dusty calls Booker’s aborted Spinaroonie a “whirlybird,” and this will be the only time I ever type this: Mark Madden’s call of that move was better than Dusty’s. Yuck. I feel incredibly dirty after typing those keys in that order to make that particular meaning using those particular symbols to express an idea. The crowd has lost energy at this point because this match keeps on going and going and going and going, much like, to speak of ‘90s commercials, the Energizer Bunny. They do wake up anytime someone’s penis gets pummeled, though. But boy, this goes on forever, uninspired and tired brawling abounding everywhere. We’re now twenty minutes in and the match hasn’t even made it backstage to set up for the finish. The crowd also gets up for Sting trying to survive, I will say that. There’s a long Sting beatdown during which the crowd claps for him and a kid insistently yells GET UP, STING from somewhere in the crowd. Sting’s comebacks all get cut off repeatedly, but I think it works to some degree, except that Sting eventually just walks away from one aborted comeback to go find weapons while Booker takes his place in receiving an ass kicking instead of us getting a full-blown Sting comeback. It sort of works that Sting comes back swinging a pair of brooms, but it doesn’t get the same noise that a protracted Sting comeback would…and Animal just cuts Sting off anyway. We are twenty-five fucking minutes in. You know what, I’ll tell you when they get done with the boring, aimless brawling and make it backstage for the finish. Finally, twenty-seven minutes in, Booker decides that he’s had enough of this match and walks out. Agreed, Book, but unfortunately, here comes Animal to keep fighting him. Animal bumps Luger while Luger pumps up backstage before the Doomsday Cage bout, then whiffs on a clubbing shot to Booker after Booker moves out of the way. Said clubbing shot instead hits Luger, knocking him into a garbage can. Luger, of course, is immediately enraged and attacks Animal. Stevie Ray hops in from off screen and helps Luger kick the shit out of Animal; Jimmy Hart grabs some tape and uses it to attach the down-and-out Animal to a pole backstage. After considering his newfound advantage in numbers, Booker is suddenly inspired to keep fighting! He goes back to the ring and beats up Hawk, but whiffs on a Houston Hangover. Stevie is there to whack Hawk with a chair anyway, and Booker covers for three to a surprisingly big pop. This absolutely did not need to go twenty-eight minutes! Stevie took that chair he was wielding backstage to beat Animal with it (Stevie: I WANT MY TITLES BACK, SUCKA) while Sting and Booker celebrated their victory in the ring. That made me laugh for some reason. I do think that the Road Warriors pissing two teams off at once and losing the numbers game in this big match is actually a good wonky finish in principle. Would that it happened in minute fourteen instead. Speaking of matches that are way too long, let’s have this extremely aesthetically ugly main event already. So, Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage have to work from the bottom to the top of the Doomsday Cage. They have to beat the guys scattered on each level of the cage before moving down to the next level and beating those guys, etc. It’s like a reverse The Raid scenario. Michael Buffer introduces this two-on-eight clusterfuck. Well, here we go with what is somewhat strangely our final Michael Buffer’s Ring Announcing Quality Control segment because I started this segment at a chronologically later point in WCW’s history before jumping back to this sho: Calls the Doomsday Cage “The Tower of Doom,” calls the Mega Powers “The Mega Force.” He recovers from there. Anyway, The Alliance to End Hulkamania includes Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger, Kevin Sullivan, Meng, Barbarian, Zeus Z-Gangsta, and the Final So holy shit, no, absolutely fucking not, he’s named the Ultimate Solution instead (w/Woman, Ms. Liz, and Jimmy Hart). I guess Pillman dipped out on this match in storyline and also maybe in kayfabe because HE’S NUTTY. WCW is jobbing all these guys, one of whom is their world champion, to Hogan and Savage? Fuck off. This is going on the Absolute Dirt Worst list, obviously. The babyfaces start by destroying Ric Flair and Arn on the top level. Savage is the only guy who sells for more than two seconds. Flair slips a shiv to someone down below. This match fucking SUCKS, man. The babyfaces escape the third tier, which apparently means that Flair and Arn are eliminated. I thought it was a pinfall deal. But whatever. Savage goes to the second floor and is immediately selling. Hogan goes to the second floor and beats up four guys while Barbarian chokes out Savage. You get the idea. They’re only on the second tier and there are still twenty minutes in this recording! The Hulkster is at his least sympathetic and most selfish in this match. What inner turmoil was he going through with being about the fifth-most-liked babyface on this show that he felt the need to have Bischoff put him over this many guys and then decided to barely register pain or that he was in trouble at all along the way? In a nonsensical touch, Hogan and Sullivan fight to the floor, Savage soon following, which should mean by the rules that Tony S. established on commentary that Hogan and Savage have won. However, nothing matters and WCW never applies its stips for big matches with any consistency, so who actually cares? Hulk Hogan and matches with stipulations that don’t matter on Uncensored shows are low-key a legendary duo. This match might be worse than his match against Flair in the Uncensored 2000 main event, and that is saying something considering how awful that strap match was. These fellas have made their Uncensored 1999 match, which generally sucked, look like some sort of classic by comparison. This big reverse-The Raid match transitions into a tornado tag match in the regular ring between the Mega Powers and Sullivan/Luger. There’s a big DOOMSDAY CAGE MATCH title underneath the split screen as Hogan and Sullvan pair off in the ring while Savage and Luger have what is yet another floor brawl in tonight’s preceedings. The cage, of course, has been escaped halfway through this fucking bout and is nowhere to be seen in either shot. I’m not sure Tiny Lister or Jeep Swenson have actually done anything in this match, which I suppose is a blessedly easy way to make a paycheck. Wait, no, there they are to drag Hogan and Savage back to the cage even though Hogan and Savage have already walked out of the cage right past them and they were therefore eliminated. Holy shit, this match is terrible. Hogan actually sells for Zeus Z-Gangsta. This is staggering. Legit the only guy Hogan spends time selling for is not the company’s world champ, not Lex Luger after a hot return, but Tiny fucking Lister. Arn and Flair join the stars of Friday and Batman & Robin in the lower level of the cage to beat down the babyfaces, and oh, who cares. This is all complete nonsense. Here’s the finish: Hogan is giving enough to let Savage pin Ric Flair after Hogan takes Flair (and everyone else) out first. Well, the first two matches were good, and I personally love Sting and Booker interacting, but this show was suboptimal as is typical for this underwhelming series of PPVs. One final note on the method that I used to complete the lion's share of this watch-through: I sure hope TKO sticks with Peacock as their PPV partner because that means the archives will also stay up. These archives are invaluable, and I know a shareholder-focused company like TKO doesn't give a fuck about transferring those archives to another company's service or making sure that wrestling history stays easily available for fans who would care to review it. Link to follow-up Nitro review: http://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9193-smelly-watches-every-nitro-era-nitro-thunder-clash-and-ppv-while-sitting-and-sometimes-maybe-standing/page/3/#findComment-1215269

Friend code: SW-5282-6501-8334 Easter egg: Tilt the left stick in any direction while opening the NSO GameCube app and the original GameCube boot screen plays when the app loads.