Gorman
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Posts posted by Gorman
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7 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:
She has been, didn't they say she's won like 26 matches? It was all probably on Dark/Elevation though, so nobody but the announcers (as they noted), the crowds and Matt D saw them. But yeah, get her on TV more.
Maybe she's had 26 matches, but she lost almost all of her matches on Dark & Elevation.
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26 minutes ago, RIPPA said:
Along with that - the Browns (since their seed is locked in) will be resting Joe Flacco
That's going to cost Flacco some money, because he signed a contract that gives him increasing bonuses for wins, all the way up to the Super Bowl.
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They said during the World's End pre-show that the Triple Crown titles can be defended individually.
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I was there at the Richfield Coliseum, just like for the first two Survivor Series. Very fun but strange show with all of the booking changes. That was the third Bret-Shawn match we had seen in the building that year. My friend had floor seats and made a homemade NWA belt for Flair and a "DON'T TRUST THE CLOWN" sign.
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4 hours ago, hammerva said:
Flacco putting up 300 and 3TD against a decent defense. All while seemingly falling asleep on the sidelines around the 3rd. just incredible
He also won a couple of games for the Browns this year.
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1 hour ago, Infinit said:
Wait...who has the "old Browns" history? The current Browns or the Ravens?
There's your answer. If the new team were called the Ohioans, that might be different.
If the Baltimore team had called themselves the Browns, that would definitely be different. Of course, the Baltimore baseball team didn't keep the Browns name, either.
But the new team that started in 1999 deliberately called themselves the Browns and kept the colors, the history, and even recently the old elf.
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On 12/24/2023 at 10:32 AM, Dolfan in NYC said:
Btw I'm in Cleveland right now. The news said Amari is 15 yards away from being the first WR in franchise history(!) to have back to back 1000 yd seasons. That's....insane.
I am surprised that neither Dave Logan, Reggie Rucker (Sipe years), Webster Slaughter nor Reggie Langhorne (Kosar years) pulled off that feat.
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5 hours ago, Johnny Sorrow said:
I had a friend back in the day who was a beast, and almost albino. He bounced in Atlantic City for a while and we all called him the Vanilla Gorilla.
Yeah, I announced some MMA fights featuring "The Vanilla Gorilla" Nick Brashear. He has since hit the Cleveland indy wrestling scene.
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I would challenge the Pistons on behalf of the team I announce for (ABA champion Burning River Buckets), but we're only 3-3 this year. We'll just concentrate on the Detroit ABA team.
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8 hours ago, Cobra Commander said:
clearly the most hilarious swerve Devil would be something like Danhausen being the devil leading to them trying to make Danhausen into the lead heel of AEW
"I told you I was very evil!"
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On 12/12/2023 at 7:00 AM, Gorman said:
I will finish up with One Night Stand 2006 and December to Dismember 2006.
SWERVE~! (Oops, wrong book)
Actually, my ECW book needs to be even longer, so it's time to watch ALL of the "WWECW" TV shows. I didn't know that version of ECW lasted until early 2010!
That should be good for three more chapters. I will hand out MVP awards for each quarter of the year.
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2 hours ago, NoFistsJustFlips said:
ROH Titles (7)
-Men's World Title
-Pure Title
-Men's TV Title
-Women's World Title
-Women's TV Title
-World Tag Titles
-World Six Man Titles
Not to be nitpicky, but ROH doesn't have a Women's TV title.
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Thoughts on December to Dismember
This was much more of a "WWE C-brand show" than an ECW show. It featured a lot of new faces, and the Dreamer and Balls matches were not particularly extreme. At one point, fans started chanting "We want hardcore!"
Despite Joey, Christian, and Julio graduating from the Pittsburgh scene where I was working to ECW, I was very surprised that CM Punk got hired by the WWE version of ECW. Not that he wasn't a good wrestler - it just didn't seem like WWE would give someone like Punk a chance. He wildly overachieved, and he opened the door for AJ Styles and Bryan Danielson to be taken seriously at the very top of WWE.
This show had a very "thrown together" feel, with only the opener and main event announced in advance. In the opener, Joey Styles said that the Hardys (who went by "Team Extreme") and MNM might never appear in ECW again, and that the Hardys might never team up again! Indeed, Jeff was the Intercontinental champion at the time.
Bobby Lashley has to be the MVP, beating Test and Big Show to win the ECW title in the Extreme Elimination Chamber. The fans didn't exactly give him a hero's welcome. As Paul Heyman said before the match, "The era of Sabu, Sandman, and RVD is over."
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2 hours ago, Shartnado said:
Holy shit! Will Athena be even cleared to go after that one? Although, she has worn protective gear on her face before. Was that an accident or just an angle?
It was an accident that worked perfectly with the angle.
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4 hours ago, Log said:
Now I want to see the Ravens wear Browns throwbacks when they play the Browns.
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Thoughts on One Night Stand 2006
ECW fans warmly embraced Kurt Angle as one of their own as he beat Randy Orton. Big Show added another dimension to the ECW roster as he wrecked shop after the Crazy-Tajiri vs. FBI match.
The fans booed World champion Rey Misterio Jr. just for representing Smackdown, even though he had “ECW” on the back of his mask. Rey Jr. vs. Sabu would have been mind-blowing if it had happened 10 years earlier.
Terry Funk took a “61-year-old man falls off a giant ladder” bump. Mick Foley attacked his eye with barbed wire, but Funk came back with his head wrapped up like a Revolutionary War soldier and got revenge with a flaming barbed-wire 2x4.
After winning that match, how did Edge get under the ring to interfere in the Cena-RVD main event? Why was he wearing a motorcycle helmet? Why did he help RVD win the title that he wanted to regain from Cena?
This was my first time seeing the Eugene character. There may be a "right" way to portray a wrestler who is developmentally disabled, but this wasn't it.
Despite Edge’s influential presence in the two most important matches of the night, RVD is the MVP. He wisely cashed in the Money in the Bank briefcase in the perfect environment to win and completed ECW’s rags-to-riches story by winning the WWE title. If ECW had gone off the air permanently at this point, it would have been the ultimate happy ending.
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NJPW Strong = NJPW "USA"
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22 hours ago, twiztor said:
100%. i have this in my top three wrestling events of all time (Mania 17 and All In being the other two).
is this the end of your ECW book or will more supplementary shows be included? ECW ONS2? TNA Hardcore Justice (2010): The Last Stand? Hardcore Homecoming? Extreme Reunion/Rising?
TNA is going to get laughed at in every one of my books, because they laughed off my attempt to take the Gut Check Challenge, even though I was the play-by-play voice of Ring Of Honor.
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13 hours ago, twiztor said:
100%. i have this in my top three wrestling events of all time (Mania 17 and All In being the other two).
is this the end of your ECW book or will more supplementary shows be included? ECW ONS2? TNA Hardcore Justice (2010): The Last Stand? Hardcore Homecoming? Extreme Reunion/Rising?
I will finish up with One Night Stand 2006 and December to Dismember 2006.
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If Punk is just announcing his brand, then how will he keep up his tradition of bad things happening to him whenever he comes to Cleveland?
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Thoughts on One Night Stand 2005
This book needs to be longer, so let’s watch the three WWE shows under the ECW banner.
Holy cow, this was one of the greatest PPVs ever. It exceeded expectations so much that it nullified the name of the show - ECW was too beloved to be left behind after a One Night Stand.
Almost every match had historical significance (Storm-Jericho, Benoit-Guerrero), and they all delivered in the ring.
ECW stood tall in the post-match brawl with the Raw and Smackdown invaders before Eric Bischoff got destroyed at the end.
On commentary, Mick Foley explained that the reason we were watching an ECW reunion instead of a WCW reunion came down to one missing ingredient: Emotion. You felt it from Joey Styles to Paul Heyman to the fans. One year later at One Night Stand, ECW was back as the third WWE brand.
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18 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:
Yeahhhhhh I thought about doing a 1999: The Worst Year in American Pro Wrestling project after I get done with the whole Nitro deal (especially since I'd have a third of it done by then), but I decided against it because I just can't live through a lot of those WWF angles again.
I call 1999 "The Year of Nonsense" in my WWF and WCW books, but I didn't use that phrase in the book I'm currently writing about ECW.
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I looked at the scoreboard with 2 minutes left in the Men's Iron Survivor match and said to myself, "Well, I guess it isn't Trick's night."
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On 12/9/2023 at 10:38 PM, SirSmUgly said:
King of the Ring 1998 notes:
- It’s the third entry in my Big Five PPVs of 1998 series. The opposing June PPV from WCW, the Great American Bash, was a bit weird. I’m still processing my feelings about it. I actually don’t know how this show will compare because, while I’ve seen one specific match that you might guess easily more than a few times, I feel like this is the show that I’ve watched the least over the past years, and I haven’t seen the whole thing in the longest time.
- Other than the Undertaker/Mankind Hell in a Cell match that I am not really looking forward to seeing again because I am older and don’t love seeing a man kill himself when he has little kids at home, this show seems wide open. I think they’re going to make Kane the WWF World Champion for a day, which is something that happened and then everybody forgot it happened, I feel like. Also, Ken Shamrock finally gets his revenge on The Rock!
- I’m so pleased to hear Jim Ross’s voice! And then Jerry Lawler starts talking. Aw, man.
- The Headbangers and Taka Michinoku are a trios team tonight, and I didn’t realize that the Headbangers were still operating as a tag team this late into 1998. They’re facing off against Kaientai in what Jim Ross tells us is one of two “bonus matches” not promoted for the show in advance. OK, sure, this match seems like it might be good enough to be a bonus.
- Men’s Teioh is on a WWF PPV in 1998. 1998 is a strange year in the WWF because even this late into it, Vince is still throwing who-the-fuck-ever on his TV shows and trying to find as many potential avenues to crushing WCW as possible. Anyway, the worst worker in this thing is Chas Warrington, and he’s fine, so this is a pretty enjoyable opener. Taka is a pretty insane athlete, and right now, I’m thinking about how fun 1998 Taka vs. 1998 Rey Misterio Jr. would be, or at least the 1998 version of Rey Misterio Jr. that isn’t always injured, man, that guy has been off TV for what feels like forever by now.
- I digress. Taka plays FIP after hitting some chops that the crowd WOOOOOOs at and a couple of sweet dives. There's a great assisted facebuster in there by Funaki and Dick Togo to stuff one of Taka’s attempts at a counter, too. Taka finally ducks a Funaki wheel kick and gets a hot tag, and the match breaks down shortly after the Headbangers come into the ring. Funaki misses a diving elbow and then eats an assisted splash and a Michinoku Driver for three. See, that’s how you open a show. I think WCW PPVs tend to have longer openers, which I would broadly advise against. This opener was perfect – eight minutes or so, full of high spots, and not too much back-and-forth before the FIP segment. I want an appetizer in the first match, and too often WCW gives me a fuller meal than I need while I’m trying to settle into the show.
- Sable just stole Marc Mero’s theme, didn’t she? Her music hits and she comes to the ring. Jim Ross says that he knows a lot of Oklahomans who would marry her dog just to be a part of her family. I assume that since they’re Oklahomans, Ross could have just ended that sentence after the word “dog.”
- (I am deeply sorry to any Oklahomans who are reading this post.)
- Sable gets huge SA-BLE chants, but after Sable introduces Mr. McMahon (w/Stooges), the crowd goes BOOOOOO and then chants AUS-TIN. I guess Sable left the company, but was brought back by McMahon, and it could be an angle or a shoot or a bit of both, I don’t know. The Stooges kick Sable out of the ring, but Patterson cops a feel and gets slapped to a huge pop. Well, this Attitude-era crowd popped for a sexual assault victim defending herself, so that feels like a win in 1998, maybe? I’m really stretching it here.
- Now, Mr. McMahon cuts a promo, and OH WOW, is he a billion times better than Eric Bischoff at this. McMahon is like EITHER AUSTIN LOSES AND WON’T BE CHAMP ANYMORE (crowd: BOOOO) OR KANE LOSES AND SETS HIMSELF ON FIRE (crowd: YEAHHH), THE POSSIBILITIES ARE RAD, YEAH? And the crowd is like YEAHHHHHHHHH and them McMahon is like TOO BAD YOU’RE GONNA BE DISAPPOINTED WHEN THIS ALL GOES DOWN LATER TONIGHT AND AUSTIN LOSES, BUT YOU ARE DISAPPOINTMENTS IN GENERAL, YOU BUMS, ESPECIALLY TO YOUR BUM-ASS PARENTS. Also, McMahon says the word “mirror,” but he says it in his inimitable way, like the last name of BMX-er Dave Mirra. I enjoyed this for a segment in which a dude talks in the ring during a PPV (come on, save the self-indulgent gabfests for RAW, dude).
- The King of the Ring tournament has already done with the quarterfinals (BOOOOOO) but at least our semi finals are set and the KotR winner will have to win twice tonight to take home the crown (YEAHHHHH). Ken Shamrock meets Jeff Jarrett (w/Tennessee Lee) in the first semi-final match of the night. Jarrett’s right the hell back where he was when he left this company (BOOOOOOOO). In all honestly, there probably wasn’t a path for him to anything much had he stayed in WCW, at least until Vince Russo made it over. I give him credit: He hits his catchphrase (AINT I GREAT) and the crowd chants it with him. Huh, even country-fried Jarrett is getting sing-alongs to happen here in 1998 WWF.
- Shamrock comes out and just rolls Jarrett early, really beats his ass, and hits a pretty good knee lift that’s a 7.5/10 on the Mr. Wrestling II scale. He also hits a nice lariat in there. I don’t think Shamrock has the personality to really do much in Attitude Era WWF and feel like if he’d been just a little younger and maybe come around in 2002 instead of 1997, he’d have had a way better WWF/E career. Anyway, Jarrett just can’t get much going at all in this thing. Shamrock takes it outside and then back inside and is really quite unthreatened by Jarrett the whole way.
- Finally, Tennessee Lee grabs Shamrock’s ankle as Shamrock runs the ropes, which distracts Shamrock and allows Jarrett to chop block Shamrock and go to work on his knee and ankle. I guess Shamrock is working a prior ankle injury, though you wouldn’t know it by the way he’s working at full speed in this match. Anyway, Shamrock is throwing kicks with and running full speed on the injured leg, so I guess Jarrett sucks at destroying a body part in kayfabe. Shamrock hits a great Frankensteiner and then ankle locks Jarrett for the submission victory, then belly-to-belly suplexes a charging Tennessee Lee for good measure. That was inoffensive, and people like watching Shamrock do explosive offense, so you know, good for them. Michael Cole interviews a limping Shamrock briefly after the match, and I’m really trying to come around to the idea that Shamrock was just full of adrenaline and is only now feeling the injuries. I’m really trying.
- The crowd pops for DO YOU SMELL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’ as the WWF Intercontinental Champ, The Rock, comes to the ring flanked by Kama and Mark Henry. The refs immediately kick those latter two dudes out of the ringside area. The crowd chants ROCKY SUCKS, but their hearts aren’t in it. They really just want to cheer this guy already. The Rock is also a King of the Ring semifinalist, and his opponent is Dan Severn, who is waaaaaaay out of place in Attitude Era WWF. I mean, I dig Dan Severn, but using him at his maximum effectiveness would entail plopping him down via time machine into ‘70s All Japan, grunting while trading holds with Horst Hoffman or Dory Funk Jr.
- Severn is a much, much better mat wrestler than Rocky, which Severn shows immediately. We get a great shot of the Rock struggling to the ropes on a legbar attempt and then frustratedly letting out a GODDAMMIT as he has a realization of exactly what he’s in for in this match. But you know, Severn might be leagues better on the mat, that’s one thing, but he ain’t better at putting a thumb in someone’s eye and throwing punches! The story of this match is The Rock trying to stay near the ropes until he can get some room to punch the shit out of Severn or maybe cheat his ass off, either/or. What a strange thing this match is, a textbook charming uniquity. Mark Henry and the Godfather run back out and distract Mike Chioda, which allows D’Lo Brown to run to the ring from the other side and drop a chest protector-assisted Frog Splash on Severn that somehow Chioda doesn’t feel the impact of. It also, uh, “earns” the Rock a victory to a big pop. Post-match, the Rock craps on Michael Cole, cuts a solid promo, and hits the People’s Eyebrow.
- Ah, here we are, an Attitude Era-ass Attitude Era match: Too Much against Al Snow and Head. We get a video recap of Al Snow and Head’s journey back to WWF stardom, I guess, and there’s some casual racism involved in that journey, just trust me on this one. The point is that Al Snow and his little mannequin head apparently need to win this tag match to get the meeting with Mr. McMahon that Snow’s been lobbying for the past few weeks on WWF television. I feel dumber for having written this bulletpoint.
- I get a kick out of it every time they show Lawler’s beaming face when Brian Christopher comes to the ring. I guess, based on the video package, Lawler has agreed to help Al Snow get a contract for this match, and so he yells at Al Snow while Al Snow yells at Head in a little backstage promo before the match. Everyone makes a lot of Head puns. A group of dudes chant HEAD while shaking Styrofoam mannequin heads. While Howard Finkel announces that Jerry Lawler wrote himself into the contract for this match as the special guest referee, Snow takes a male mannequin head from a fan and then pantomimes a meet cute between that head and the lady head that he’s carrying, and reader, I heartily laughed in spite of myself. Eventually, Snow realizes what has happened, and he berates Head for not reading the contract more closely (specifically: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP TRACK OF THAT SORT OF STUFF! DAMMIT!).
- So, you know the deal here: Lawler is lenient toward Too Much and harsh in his officiating of Snow, Snow consults with Head a bunch, and somewhere in there is a wrestling match, too. The king’s ostentatious unfairness is really good, as you’d expect. Snow actually does a solid job of handling Too Much by himself for a lot of this, but he gets caught with a springboard flying forearm by Scott Taylor and, uh, I guess plays FIP? I mean, technically, he’s got a mannequin head as his partner on the contract.
- Snow takes a beating, though he gets some room with a wheelbarrow slam on Taylor and follows up shortly after with a double DDT on both Too Much members. Snow gets a hot tag, which I guess means that he can hit both guys with Head and it’s legal. Snow does it, then hits Brian Christopher with a Snow Plow. The King refuses to count, so Snow hits Taylor in the sack with Head, then hits Taylor with another Snow Plow and covers…except that Christopher jumps back in the ring, jams a bottle of Head and Shoulders into the neck of Head, and then, from a very specific perspective, pins Head’s shoulders to the mat for three. We did all this to get to the punchline of a fucking DAD JOKE?! To quote The Rock from earlier: GODDAMMIT.
- X-Pac versus Owen Hart is a match on this show? We know these fellas make magic on KotR PPVs! They’re beefing because Owen cost X-Pac a KotR qualifying match, and then X-Pac returned the favor to Owen the week after that. X-Pac is seconded by Chyna, who looks like she’d love another chance to fuck Owen’s world up on a WWF PPV in 1998. Owen Hart comes out, and I guess he’s affiliated with the Nation of Domination. Like WCW did with Bret, WWF turned Owen heel when really, people just wanted him to be a babyface.
- X-Pac remembers 1994 vividly and baseball slides Owen before Owen can even get in the ring. Nice callback! X-Pac misses a corner splash and Owen goes to work. X-Pac takes some nice corner bumps on Irish whips and Owen works on the back a bit. Owen gets two off a wheel kick, but eats a corner bump of his own and gets kicked in the chest. We get a chopfest as the crowd WOOOOOs, and then Owen hits a Perfect Plex for two and a gutwrench suplex for two. Owen fights to keep control, but eats a back bodydrop and a clothesline that sends him outside, followed by Pac using the stairs to launch himself for another wild lariat that scores.
- Now, these fellas are outside doing damage, as Owen whips Pac into a bunch of ringside cultter and then front suplexes him on the Spanish announce table. I’m digging this match, as I knew I would. Back in the ring, Owen slaps on a sleeper. Pac shows some fight back, scores on a wheel kick of his own, and then lands a Bronco Buster. Pac looks to end it by going up top, but Owen catches him and hangs him on the top rope before taking a huge backward bump into the ring himself. Owen’s eyebrow is busted to add a little color to these proceedings.
- The finishing run happens all of a sudden: Mark Henry runs out and hits Pac with a big splash, so Chyna comes over and gets in his face to a huge pop. Vader runs out and hammers Mark Henry and they fight. That distracts the ref, who doesn’t see Owen locking the Sharpshooter on Pac or Chyna DDT'ing Owen to break that hold. All he does is come back into the ring in time to count the three when Pac rolls over and covers Owen. That was a good match with a chaotic finish that was fun. A little overbooked, maybe, but fun.
- Paul Bearer, one of my favorite over-acting wrestling personalities with all his histrionics, walks to the ring to cut a promo. I guess Undertaker beat his ass on a show before this one, but anyway, Bearer says he’s here because he’s excited to see Undertaker get his own ass beat by Mankind and to see Kane become the WWF Champion. I guess what happened, as I see here on the video roll they play during this promo, was that Undertaker busted into Bearer’s house and beat the shit out of him a RAW or two before this show. Sure, why not? Bearer cuts a screamo-style promo about Kane being a dysfunctional little scarred-up weirdo who looked up to the Undertaker as a young man. It’s a good promo with a great final line where, after asserting that Kane will win the title tonight, “And then, you can laugh at the fat man all you want because I’m gonna laugh all the way to the bank!” Paul Bearer rules, dammit.
- The crowd is fully on board with Road Dogg’s sing-along routine at this point, and they pop as the New Age Outlaws (w/Chyna) hit the ring for the second bonus match of the night. Eh, “bonus?” With the New Age Outlaws out here? Road Dogg runs through his routine while a kid about six or seven years of age sits on his dad’s shoulders and crotch chops. 1998 WWF – you gotta love it! This is a tag titles match against the New Midnight Express (w/Jim Cornette), and let’s pray that it’s short. I guess Bodacious Bart and Bombastic Bob are the NWA tag champs, so this is the sort of champions versus champions match that would have been a lot cooler ten years before this match happened. We do get Billy versus Bart here as the Smoking Gunns EXPLODE, and it’s solid. They really try hard in their initial sequence with lots of rope running and reversals. Billy hits a Fameasser but I guess that’s just a transitional move for him at this point, and it only gets two. Then, he flips Bart with a lariat and stands over him while crotch chopping and telling him to SUCK IT SUCK IT SUCK IT, which in kayfabe is the sort of incestuous remark that would kayfabe make Mr. McMahon pop an insta-boner. And maybe shoot pop one, too.
- This match is actually just fine, which I should have realized since Bart and Holly are good and Billy is decent when motivated. Road Dogg plays FIP for a bit. That ends momentarily when Bob stands over Road Dogg and does his own SUCK IT and crotch chop, followed by a loudly muttered FUCK YOU. Boy, Bob is showing some ATTITUDE, and I totally GET IT. Billy comes in to respond, but Bob regains control until he dives himself right into Road Dogg’s raised boot. The hot tag leads to the finish, in which Jim Cornette swings an NWA tag belt into Billy’s back, but Bob only gets two on the cover. Cornette tries it again a minute later, but Billy spots him and Chyna pummels his penis with a forearm. An NAO team Hotshot on Bob a few seconds later ends the match. This was acceptable, and included the bonus of Chyna fucking someone else's world up. I accept this as fitting the description of "bonus" in the phrase/heady claim that Jim Ross made about this being a "bonus match."
- The King of the Ring final is next, though the only thing I remember about this match is guest commentator Triple H declaring that he is open to sexual congress with a more diverse array of gender identities than one might expect. Also, Chyna apparently speaks fluent Spanish over as guest commentator on the Spanish announce table, which is so cool. You know who is so cool? Chyna. Man, she rules. You know who isn’t cool and really kinda sucks? Triple H. He apparently looked over at Jerry Lawler and thought that if the viewer thought that Lawler was insufferable on commentary, well, he'd show ‘em what insufferable commentary really looks like! He'd show 'em all!
- I feel like commentary should have made more of the fact that Shamrock couldn’t beat the Rock at the Royal Rumble or WrestleMania XIV, but whatever, it’s meaningful to me. Shamrock is looking at the Rock like he might commit a murder in about two seconds. The match they have is not a “I want to murder this guy” match, though. It’s kind of boring, and then Rocky wanders outside to confront Triple H, and they scrap a bit before Shamrock finally comes over and actually throws a few punches and does some interesting offense.
- The Rock is still young, I sometimes forget, still learning, and I always have to try and remember this when I watch him in 1998 and he has no idea how to do compelling stuff in the moment-to-moment parts of the match. It’s like someone flips a switch when the calendar turns to 1999 and he immediately becomes great (yes, I said “great”) in the ring. Here, we get Rock in control and it’s not bad, but it’s not, like, good or anything. Shamrock decides that his leg is injured and awkwardly and unconvincingly sells it. Shamrock is not good at selling limb damage, folks.
- Anyway, Rock drops a People’s Elbow to a big pop. These fans chant ROCKY SUCKS until The Rock does something cool, at which point they cheer wildly. Speaking of, after he works a dull chinlock, they pop madly for Rocky’s floatover DDT. Both moves only get two, which is too bad for The Rock since Shamrock hits a back suplex shortly after that last move. Shamrock goes off after a standing ten-count that should have ended the match because Chioda counts like he's got somewhere to be and The Rock’s knee is still on the mat when he gets to ten, but whatever. The Rock stuffs that Shamrock flurry and even gets two off a floatover powerslam, but he goes for the floatover DDT again and gets caught in a Northern Lights for two. The Rock gets another two off a short-arm clothesline, after which Shamrock gets two off his own short-arm clothesline. This finishing run is alright, actually, with lots of two-counts. The Rock stuffs a Frankensteiner attempt with a Hotshot, but when that only gets two, The Rock is distracted enough to bitch at the ref and turns back around into an ankle lock that garners Shamrock a tap out. I feel like that’s the story of a lot of 1998 Rock’s matches: Sorta dull until the finishing run happens. This was the least of the Shamrock/Rock 1998 PPV trilogy, and I think I’d put them in this order: Royal Rumble > WM XIV > KotR.
- They don’t even bother to crown this man Shamrock on the PPV. This tournament doesn’t matter anymore, does it?
- So, the Mankind/Undertaker Hell in a Cell match is next. What can I even say about this thing? Everything to be said about it has been said, right? Well, let’s forge on anyway.
- I do think it’s unfortunate that in hyping this match, Ross and Lawler predict a lengthy hospital stay or even death for one or both of the competitors, though! Mick testing the cage to see if maybe he could climb it and then struggling up there as the cage bends beneath his weight seems like a bad sign!
- What’s wild to me about this is that this crazy fuck Foley convinced ‘Taker to toss him off the cell and through a table, and somehow that wasn’t enough and this dude worked a thumbtack spot into the mix. What is wrong with this guy? Anyway, this match is important to the legend of Mick Foley, it’s a spectacle, and I have what can only be described as a love/hate perspective of it. I don’t want to see Foley try to delete himself with stupid spots. It was cool when I was an ignorant, disaffected teen, but it is far less cool to me as a moderately worldly and quite grumpy old fuck. It’s hard to watch, really hard to watch, and since I’ve seen it enough times, during this review I just sort of side eye my viewing.
- In spite of myself, I do enjoy the crowd’s reactions as they realize that they’re watching something historic. By the time the tacks come out, this crowd is well aware that they’re sitting there viewing some legendary shit. There is actually, beyond the cheer of shock, a meta-level round of applause for these guys doing the thumbtack spots at the end. The actual table dive Foley does gets a shriek of shock from the crowd that, if I had to describe it, maybe primal is the word I’d use, and it definitely sent adrenaline through my body just listening to it. Actually, the crowd stays engaged throughout, even with all the downtime in this thing. The crowd’s round of applause, followed by a FOLEY chant as they help him walk out, is something, man. I felt some feelings.
- Also, Jim Ross’s call is amazing, obviously because he actually doesn’t want Mick Foley to die and that comes through. Actually, it does for Lawler too, whose flat “Oh my gosh” after Foley does his table dive is maybe the sincerest thing I’ve ever heard him utter. I also dig when he responds “Why do you apologize for that?” after Ross apologizes for what looks like it might be a short match. It’s not bombastic, shrieking Lawler who responds that way. It’s a guy who is legitimately fucking offended that anyone might actually complain about the match being that short.
- So, Foley breaking away from the medics to climb back up on the cell with a busted shoulder and the Undertaker doing the same from the other side with a busted foot is the most pro wrestling thing ever, and I’m not sure that I say that entirely as a compliment. Then the second bump through the cell is fucking STUPID, like the cell top was clearly not made to hold around six hundred pounds of human being. Sweet fuck.
- The last part, where ‘Taker handholds Foley through some cursory work until Foley has enough of his lights back on to hit a double-arm DDT and then go into a short control segment that ends with him grabbing a bag of tacks, is overkill, like someone served me a three-course meal that was just three incredibly rich desserts and now I have to throw up. Wow, I'm feeling these food metaphors tonight.
- But as much as I didn’t enjoy the utter brutality and stupidity of Foley trying to end himself, I must admit that the experience, even side eyeing it, was exhilarating. I don’t like death matches at all and I have come to hate stupid bumps, but in this company, where the match itself is not only a wild spectacle, but the company is brilliant at following up and effectively mythologizing this match and these bumps, I can’t not feel something like exhilaration. Maybe it’s an immediate sense of exhilaration mixed with a broader sense that seeing this then and seeing it now makes me a part of something that I was glad to be alive to experience.
- How in fuck does anyone follow something like that? I really can’t get up for a match involving Kane after that Cell match. Like, the video package to lead into it is good and all, but they’re still trying to sell me a Kane match after Foley splattered himself in an iconic series of spots. That’s not working for me. Also, this is a First Blood match, so yeah, that’s less exciting to me, too.
- But you know, we’ll give it a shot. Kane is out first, Paul Bearer at his side. Austin comes out throwing punches and dropping elbows with a very wrapped elbow. Like, DDP would be envious of the support on that elbow. What’s up with Austin and, as I recall, the Undertaker getting staph infections from these WWF rings? Disinfect that shit, you’re a major company that’s about to go public.
- So, the story of this match is that Kane is all covered up and therefore, it’ll be hard to make him bleed or see him bleed. That’s a dumb story. I don’t like First Blood matches. The cell starts lowering again a couple minutes in, but uh, I think the cell is played out after the last match. We don’t need to see it here. But hey, look, Austin is working his ass off, and I appreciate that. They do a spot where Mr. McMahon probably gets someone to try and lower the cell so that it ends up on Austin’s throat, but again, I think we’ve had enough cell spots for one night. They have kind of a boilerplate wandering brawl from the Attitude Era in the cell and outside of the cell and around the cell. Everyone tries hard. There are a lot of punches.
- The match isn’t that long, which I think is good. Kane shouldn’t be going twenty minutes or whatever because he stinks. My favorite Kane matches are the ones where he cosplays Kevin Nash. I like Jackknife Powerbombs and Nash’s taunts, sue me. So yeah, there’s a ref bump, and some punches and also kicks, and what the fuck, Foley does a run in with a chair?! This man is a complete nut. Foley eats a Stunner, and I sorta wish they didn’t bring Foley back out here after that round of applause he got because he needed to go out on a high note tonight.
- Kane eats a Stunner next, and now Undertaker comes down to hit Mankind with a chair, but Mankind ducks and Undertaker swings his chair and knocks a chair that Austin is holding back into Austin's face. Austin ostentatiously blades while the Undertaker throws the ref back in the ring and pours gasoline on the ref (it’s there just in case Kane needs to set himself on fire) and now Kane hits ‘Taker with a chair and Austin hits Kane with a chair and the ref sees it and calls the match. Yeah, that was a run-on sentence for a reason. This was an overbooked mess that was also overshadowed by the match before it. Not even peak Austin could overcome that.
- I’m putting this show behind the Rumble and WM XIV in that order. Actually, my order for these shows is the same as my order for the Rock/Shamrock matches on these shows. However, that’s not to say this show was bad. It was very good. It was certainly better than its opposite in the Great American Bash. Unlike with GAB ’98 I felt some real feelings during KotR ’98, even if some of those feelings were shame for enjoying Attitude Era stupidity.
I was there! The gas cans on the announce table set an ominous tone as soon as we walked into the building. The fans filed out quietly after the show, stunned that Austin had lost the title.
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AEW - JANUARY 2024
in ALL ELITE WRESTLING
Posted
I was ring announcer for that show, so it would have been cool to meet you there. Of course, I was also in "take care of the 1-year-old" mode, as I was carrying her in a baby backpack in the locker room before the show.