Sex Machine Gun
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Posts posted by Sex Machine Gun
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EDIT: Double post as I started it on another page.
EDIT II, THE QUICKENING: Yeah, I double posted but this page reminded me about QT Marshall. I'd like to think I pay a decent bit of attention to AEW. I don't know who individuals are a lot when reading about them and only last night figured out which Young Buck was which, but I had NO IDEA who QT was or what he looked like until last night. It was a name I'd hear on commentary a lot but within Nightmare Family group brawls, or saw the name online. I also believe he's been with that faction for longer than, say, the Gunn brood. How the fuck did I not really know anything about them before last night? A heel turn means nothing if there's nothing to make me care. Granted, I don't see Dynamite live every week but I make sure to watch YouTube highlights the next day which are posted. Still, I didn't know what this fucker looked like until last night. Piss poor. I'll watch your weeky TV show but I'm not about to slog through a bunch of tongue-in-cheek vlogs or ancilliary bullshit to understand when something major happens on your flagship programs.
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Seeing a few "haven't ordered anything in a many years but sprung for this" posts in this thread, and they're generally positive responses. It makes me think of when I first discovered indy shit a couple of decades ago and saw what was really dumb as well done simply because it was something different. ECW Syndrome, if you will. I remember thinking Heat Wave 2000 was the best PPV I'd ever seen at the time simply because it was my first exposure to that presentation. Got a lot of flak on the 1wrestling.com messageboard about that and never understood why. Now I kinda get where those detractors had an origin.
Online response seems to be VERY polarized, with most shitting on it due to the farty pyro but a sizeable minority giving each match high marks. Very little in the middle. Sad thing is, that's where I am! This show had a LOT of good stuff going for it but it would end up overwhelmed by poor decisions which had greater consequences. The biggest demerits are 1) I shouldn't think of your show as one of two halves, and 2) I shouldn't think of one as dramatically better than the other.
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Just realized I hadn't said shit about the ladder match. I didn't know who Ethan Page was and this wasn't the way to see what he could do so no judgement one way or another on his performance. The others though? It started feeling like backyarders just doing spots they thought were cool without any kind of cohesion. Why even run the injury angle with Cody if he doesn't win? Way to take the shine off the actual winner, which brings me to the elephant in the AEW room:
HOW HAS CODY BEEN A FACE THIS WHOLE TIME?? Seriously, the last time he exhibited babyface actions was the MJF feud. His entrance, using a segment of national TV for a gender reveal party, the original TNT belt genesis, an entourage, what the fuck. This is a heel! Why are they being presented as a babyface? There wasn't even really much in the Shaq mini-feud that made me think "ah, Cody is the virtuous one who should be cheered!" as it was just general antagonism.
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Peter and Bononi could well be my AEW bottom boys. I'd never heard their music before the tag battle royal last night. I already loved Peter tapping several weeks ago to avoid getting punched in the face and thus ruining his good looks. The ironic bit was it was against Dashing Cody Rhodes. Bear Country are who I want to see go far and succeed, but you've gotta have your boy stable too.
EDIT: I just realized that ironic enjoyment of things in this company creates actual pushes. DON'T RUIN IT FOR US
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2 hours ago, Jimbo_Tsuruta said:
A few Surname on a Pole matches should sort everything out.
No no no, we need an international tournament where different regions battle it out over common surnames with the final sixteen having a battle royal. That's the AEW way.
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No commentary in cinematic matches. Didn't make a lick of sense.
I had come around to thinking the main event was 6/10 with the explosive bat finish. I didn't see it coming and it looked like it really would have fucked someone up with finality like Moxley when they've been built as indestructible and having a neverending blood supply. I despise the deathmatch stuff and was dreading this so that they'd gotten some positive feeling from me was good.
The Women's Championship match was good in the middle when it resembled a hard-hitting hoss fight without the hosses but the beginning and ending thirds were rough.
I don't like this extremely reactive behavior AEW tends to have. What happened with the flat climax can sit overnight without trying to throw out a bunch of other narratives and posting extra videos on YouTube and so on. Give yourselves a night of sleep to figure out how to address the dissonance between what you saw happen and what everyone was selling from the ring to the commentary table. Poor Eddie more than anyone.
On the bright side, it was great fun in the chat for the first time.
How in the wide world of sports are Edge and Christian the same fuckin' age?
I didn't completely hate a Bucks match because one of them sold being hit in the back with a baseball bat for like, four, five seconds! Progress!
The Best Friends/Miro n' Kip match did what it needed to do and was the right amount of time. Sadly, it was the only match that did this. Wait, I take that back, Page/Hardy was fine and I actually popped for the Dark Order. I've NEVER done that before. It always ends up in the details, like there being blood in the tag match on a night where you're selling a deathmatch as your main draw. During Page/Hardy, they do a lot of stuff fucking with Page's hand and the first time he uses it he's all "agh! That hurt!" and that was good but then he immediately tries to use it again and messes with his hair and stuff.
And they did the friggin' order of matches that I was worried about. Alllllll the gimmicks and crazy shit got backloaded. Details!
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I didn't buy Spike in actual matches on his own. To be fair, I've never watched his matches with Mike Awesome so maybe those are good. In ECW he was already tiny, going to the WWF made him look positively miniature or like he was an oddly dressed fan who got lost in the arena and somehow found the entranceway for the wrestlers.
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They've been really good at keeping this shit under wraps. I hope it's someone from Khan's OSW boy stable instead of a massive name just for how hard I'd laugh. It'd be terrible after five seconds but those five seconds would be tremendous. "Welcome to AEW... (drumroll) JUSTIN CREDIBLE!"
QuoteThere Is nothing wrong with Riho's size. If you bought Rey Mysterio Jr. all of these years, you can give Riho a pass.
I wouldn't mind her tiny stature if she was jacked at all but she doesn't look like she could really fight anyone. I want to believe but it's a big stretch whenever I watch her. At least Rey had some muscle even in his pre-WWE days.
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They turned the new Crews character up to 10 quicker than they did Muhammad Hassan. I guess Social Acceleration is real.
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Wow, I forgot the Tag Title match in my card order. Well shit, like I said in the other thread I don't care about anything the Bucks do so at least I'm consistent.
This main event is going to be awful. It was already going to be bad given the hardcore limitations and Moxley always having the same brawl-y match but now I'm actively dreading it. Do we need thirty minutes plus for something that has a foregone conclusion as it is? Lord do I wish this promotion would stop doing dumb stuff but including entrances and postmatch revelry that main event is going to push a full hour.
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My ideal match order:
Street Fight
Page/Hardy
Ladder Match
Women's Match
Tag Battle Royal
Best Friends/Miro n' Kip
Exploding Barbed Wire Deathmatch
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Implying a long night reminds me, is it going to be three or four hours long? Fingers crossed for three, I can't remember which PPV it was (I don't think it was their last but the one before), however it went nearly four hours and dragged terribly by the end. I'd rather be able to care about a goddamn Exploding Anything match by the time it rolls around.
The street fight should be the opener, now that I think about it. There's a street fight, a ladder match, and a deathmatch on the same card and they're going to have to space them out or we will be burned out by the main event.
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I really shouldn't have watched the Bucks promo back-to-back with the backstage segment after the FTR/Tully match.
It's highly appreciated that they helped ensare a money mark to create a whole new national promotion but I don't fucking care about anything they do. They don't look credible, I watch their matches with a morbid dread that someone's going to kick out of taking an artillery shell to the gut, and if that was their go-home promo then holy shit. They can't even pull off LOOKING angry, much less sounding it. Shoot-y crap doesn't work if you don't already have a decent foundation for its delivery. I mean, these two assholes fucked up your father! PAPA BUCK~ and all that, he even gets a gimmick name! Why are you saying catty shit?
I get mad at this stuff because I WANT this promotion to succeed but fucking hell.
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I'm a touch surprised that AEW didn't have a lot of shit up shortly after the show on YouTube. I missed the whole thing and even now, as we're at lunchtime the next day, I can't see half of what everyone is talking about. They certainly had the important clips up quickly (Shaq clips) but for a go-home show you think they'd want to get things up quicker.
EDIT: But why would they bother? Their fans already all know what happened on the show! HOW DO YOU GET NEW FANS DAMMIT
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3 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:
Also, I'm sure Vince had to be talked out of doing a January 6 angle with them.
See, I almost threw out the idea of a group of undefined fanatics fighting Retribution for further undefined reasons but Vince has no idea on how to book that kind of shit. We'd get SLAPJACK~ being buried by Lars Sullivan in a surprise return.
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Don't worry everyone, Goldberg will be back soon enough to take the strap. For real though, I look very much forward to a legit McIntyre/Lashley HOSS FIGHT~ at Wrestlemania. Gonna be a lot of BEEF out there.
This could have been said months ago, but boy is Retribution a joke. Why would an anti-authority group agree to be lumberjacks? Merely saying "Slapjack" out loud still makes me laugh every time.
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21 hours ago, NoFistsJustFlips said:
Allow me to blow your minds here...
So Jimmy Usso comes back to help Reigns retain at Fastlane. Edge s outnumbered 3-1. Obviously that pulls Christian into having his back. They talk about having someone to even the odds at Wrestlemania. Reigns & Usos out first. It's time for Edge to come out. The lights go off. All of sudden the stage is on fire. Then the best theme song of all time hits and The Brood rises out of the stage. Gangrel spits the blood into the air. Then you can go into Edge's normal music kicking in and the sides are even.
Tell me The Brood with a suppued up Wrestlemana entrance and Ganrel's music wouldn't get a big pop. I don't care if Gangrel in and of himself isn't seen as a big deal. That's a cool full circle moment that fits the current story. The Bloodline vs The Brood dawg, book that shit on the Smackdown after Mania as a one off too.
Besides, Gangrel works a promotion around here sometimes (OSCW, Old School Championship Wrestling). He's got commitments!
I somehow failed to absorb the name of "Alpha Academy" for the Gable/Otis team. I demand this become a full-on stable with a Michael Winslow sound effects character and the equivalent of a Tackleberry who just wants to hit big finishers (like being the big gun freak) every single move despite Gable's attempts to teach fundamentals.
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I'm okay with the concept of Miro not being immediately shoved into a main event program (especially as we need to write off Moxley for a bit). I don't mind *debuts* during main event-level angles for people who are known and jumping ship like that, but not *feuds* to start with said main eventers. Given the flux of bringing in Miro and the loss of Brodie, they've been forced into patience with Miro and the whole wedding thing ended up being a blessing in my eyes. Miro's getting to lay low until after Revolution for the most part and it'll only be a benefit.
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I never watched WCW much during the Monday Night Wars but I can say that I appreciate this modern AEW equivalent. As someone noted, it's annoying in WWE (and part of why it feels like a slog so much) that if you're feuding with someone you HAVE to be welded to them in angles and matches every week. The AEW version is more authentic, like a sports league trying to promote their favorites in a "they have a match this week, and here's who they happen to be wrestling" way. I won't pretend to know anyone who gets called up to do those jobs usually but they always do really well.
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I was excited for the Crews stuff until I realized WWE has no ability to handle anything with subtlety. He still closed strong with the grandfather quote, which they then hammered into our heads several more times.
This Reginald shit needs to have a point because it smacks of Ellsworth being involved in MITB several years ago, diverting attention from the women who should be the focus. Christ, Carmella was involved in that too. Did Carmella even appear onscreen tonight? The fuck is Reginald doing around if not?
The main event was fun. The ending is curious. I never thought we'd get a tag match with Edge/Bryan against Reigns/Uso but maybe we'll get a triple threat at Fastlane. I hope it doesn't mean blowing up the Reigns/Uso dynamic unless it's to make Reigns look all alone and helpless against Edge at WM, only to win and finally get MADE. When is Jimmy Uso supposed to be back?
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6 hours ago, Pete said:
This deserves the most love of the whole thread.
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For a moment I entertained the idea of driving down to see this show in one shot without a hotel stay, then saw the tickets remaining on their site were $360. Seatgeek has them as low as $192 but damn.
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I shan't post anything else until after the show is over, thought it'd be out of turn to start a thread as a new guy!
Reigns is on the mic to tell Edge to back out of the Wrestlemania match after campaigning for Edge to choose him. Sigh.Now Bryan's out there to interrupt and I'm afraid the night is going to end with him seeing his own innards.
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If anyone could get even the hardcore neckbeards to boo him in his return, it's CM Punk. Fun scenario that I'd be Spooge McDuck over but it ain't happening. It'll be someone from Impact or some shit instead.
AEW R-Evolution II - 3/7/2021
in ALL ELITE WRESTLING
Posted
Jesus, even Scooter gave this show high marks just about across the board. What happened to my perception of wrestling?