Lamp, broken circa 1988
-
Posts
2,147 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Lamp, broken circa 1988
-
-
This is a weird one. I have a lot of fun watching Volador, but I've never known if that means he's better than anyone. I think he's good at conveying that "loud-mouth wide receiver" personality in his mannerisms, which helps him stand out to me. At the same time, I don't know for sure if I'm just projecting that. I still voted for him. I just don't have a lot of confidence in saying why anyone else should.
-
Destiny thread derails to Titanfall
Titanfall thread derails to Dark Souls II
now taking bets on what derails imminent Dark Souls II thread. Infamous? MGS? Luftrausers?
(i hope it's luftrausers)
-
Friendly reminder! For anyone that bought it on PC through Origin, Pre-loading/installing is available now. Given that it's 48 Fucking Gigabytes You Monsters, you might want to think about it.
Also, someone pointed out to me that Titanfall is kind of an embarrassing achievement: an online competitive FPS where you can choose gender but it has no effect on gameplay and the armor remains completely practical. It's just so anyone can have a character that represents them instead of just dudes. Also also, having advertisements that feature male and female soldiers looking equally fucking badass. Weird that it took so long, but thank fuck someone's going for it.
-
I am voting for Jun Akiyama just because that match in the post has Super Tiger 2 in it, and Dean Ambrose has worked against Super Tiger 2 an estimated No Times.
-
If that quest hadn't locked out ten quests before it that would make that quest and the quests that follow it make any kind of sense, it wouldn't be a big deal. It does. The moment I HAVE to look something up in a resource outside of the game itself, that game has failed and I cannot ever deem it "good." The fact that the combat didn't hold up and the inventory system is as clunky as it is disallow me from calling it "okay." Also the whole "outsmarting the ending" thing that a lot of my friends ran into. Ergo, bad.
I mean, shit, it's a quick fix! Make the lock to the door like some six digit combination lock, or just say "no, you cant pick this one cuz I said so." Anything but "go ahead and fuck up the story, I don't care."
Bringing up the Skyrim thing was just a moment of "fuck, again?"
-
aw, then I guess we can't hang out.
Seriously, Fallout 3 is hideous. Dice rolls for tangible impacts made the fighting feel bad, and it's too easy to sequence-break.
A brief version of my story: I decided the plot was dumb and decided to go fuck around and find a bunch of those glowing nuka-cola bottles. Had a decent enough time doing that! Met some weird dudes, went through some creepy caves, cool times. One thing I learned was that it was more likely to find the glowing bottles indoors in old business and such. So I come across this garage in the middle of the wasteland, and start poking around, and I see this high security door! Well, cool, I bet there's more weird shit in there!
Suddenly like a dozen quests complete, and the game starts talking again. Turns out I had just wandered into 1/3rd later in the story, where I'm supposed to go into this holodeck to save people I don't give a shit about for a story quest I was actively avoiding. The game was perfectly content to just let me bypass their story! And if I wasn't aggressively using the save system like it seems to assume I was, I would just be locked out of knowing what the hell was happening in the story unless I started over. There is no metric that can forgive a flaw like that. That is Bad Design.
Oh, the same thing happened to me in Skyrim too! Wanted to make some dwarven armor, found a big dwarven ruin, ended up with an Elder Scroll, and then an hour later- "You must venture to whatever the hell and retrieve the Elder Scroll!" ... talk again- "WELL DONE, YOU HAVE THE SCROLL." Bethesda makes shitty games.
-
Kinda wish him and Benjiman were the Suzuki-gun tag team instead of him and Archer, but hey, Shelton's not around all the time.
why i dont post on the puro board despite watching new japan regularly
yall crazy
EDIT: seriously what is with the lance archer hate, he's one of my favorite dudes to watch in NJ and has been almost since he got there
-
1
-
-
Fair enough. I just thought using "here's Davey trying to make a Bullet Club match any good" was totally unfair to the kind of output he usually has.
Also a chance to say that Shibata/Davey was my favorite match of the G1
-
Last year was the point that I was convinced Sami had a chance without the Generico gimmick, which is a pretty amazing achievement.
-
hahahahaha that still of yone
same
-
The Rhodes Boys Vs. Reigns & Rollins was my match of the year last year, so, uh, Cody.
-
-
Dolph may have had a bad year, BUT, Kota is yet to prove to me that he's actually a real person, much less make me think a wrestling match is real for the duration of it.
also I've seen him put knees up for elbow drops, frankensteiner people by the hair, do repeated snap german suplexes with a "weakened" "leg", and he keeps doing last rides like it doesn't make wrestling look less real than reality tv. He's been one of my least favorite wrestlers for years and years, and his now contractually ensured presence in New Japan bums me the hell out.
-
3
-
-
Roman is pretty clearly going to be in the future in WWE, which is great, because La Sombra is tops right dang now.
-
Terrible's eternal feud with Rush is everything good about professional wrestling. At the same time I think the more notable stuff he's done this year has centered around his tag team with Tama Tonga, so here's both of those things happening at the same time.
-
You lose NOTHING when someone says "no thanks."
Fuck. Aren't you older than I am?
-
New trailer says Ultra Street Fighter IV lets you pick versions of characters from different iterations of SF4. So basically everyone that was horrifically unbalanced is back in play because fuck you.
like, the trailer even stresses AE Yun Vs. Vanilla Sagat like that needed to be an option at all, you sick fucks
-
Between the stuff with Swagger, the stuff with Ziggler, and me just generally liking to watch Del Rio wrestle as a heel, I don't mind looking like a crazy person and voting against Wagner.
-
jimmy uso asked road dogg on live television what it was we were supposed to know
vote uso.
-
2
-
-
Devitt is maybe the worst heel I've ever seen. This is also considering that while Japanese juniorweight wrestling has a proud history of The Worst Heels I've Ever Seen (Kotaro Suzuki springs to mind) that even in the face of such consistantly terrible fucking heels, Devitt might still be the worst.
On the flipside, I haven't watched a full episode of Impact since the first monday night show, and Aries sings in a buttrock band now. So I guess I have to vote for Devitt.
-
THERE'S A MONTH LEFT UNTIL BALLOTS ARE DUE. DETAILS HERE.
wait how long is left?
A MONTH.
o ok and what's there a month left until?
UNTIL BALLOTS ARE DUE.
alright cool and where are the details?
okay thanks.
-
1
-
-
Since those Batmen games are basically metroid games, can we make the portmanteau Metroidvaniarkham and just piss on English as best as we can?
-
this thread makes me want to die
-
2
-
-
go aztecs
Design your dream game that will never, ever happen in real life...
in COMPUTERS & GAMES & TECH
Posted
this one is called "Survival of Oh Fuck This" and you can blame this on my biology class.
You play as a non-specific mammal. You have a shitty mutation. It sucks. Everyone laughs at it. The goal of this game is to out-propagate all fitter mates of your species until your species is totally ruined, because fuck those guys.
PHASE 1: Information collection. Your reluctant parents and siblings teach you about food sources, poisonous plants and predators. Your shitty mutation is random (one eye is a tusk, crab walking instead of quadripedal, butt ears, butt face, butt hands, things like this), but always mocked.
PHASE 2: God (Charles Darwin, naked, on a unicycle) visits you in a dream, and teaches you different lessons. He teaches you how to make traps, how to use poisonous plants to corrupt populated food sources, and how best to use your shitty mutation. Your mammal asks "why me." God unicycles away, windmilling his arms while making fart noises with his mouth.
PHASE 3: Mating season comes along. You must use your new-found knowledge and your shitty mutation to survive predators and challenges from competing mammals, and attempt to woo mates. The day starts with a counter of how many viable mates remain and .
PHASE 4: Under cover of nightfall you must disrupt the chances of survival for the rest of your species. Lead predators to sleeping mammals, poison water, piss on everything.
Phases 3 and 4 repeat until you reproduce.
PHASE 5: A litter is born! You have a brief amount of time to demonstrate as much of the knowledge you learned to your children as possible, before dying of exhaustion from working all night to fuck up the rest of your species. As you go to heaven, God allows you to grant one blessing to your children: either teach them one thing you did not get around to, or allow them to all randomly harbor a new mutation in their next generation. It will also be a shitty mutation.
PHASE 6: Repeat phases 3-5 until your entire region is overrun by your shitty kids. Hooray, you big jerk. The map pulls back and the ghost of the first mutant can explore nearby regions. You go into this region blind only to discover... other shitty mutant mammals! Worse yet, their predators have started adapting! A new region will have difficulty grades for how your shitty mutations compare with theirs, how their predators would fare against yours, and how hateful and frequent their traps are. Based on this, you can choose to migrate to this area or to give it a generation and see if the predators thin the herd a little bit. If you choose to migrate, the ghost possesses one of his children and gives him The Knowledge, and you begin to attempt to conquer this new area.
ENDGAME: After a number of generations (set before the game begins), a whistle blows. Your Legacy is determined by the amount of land your shitty mammals have overrun. Populate too little and your legacy is some dipshit survivalist with a bunch of cameras eats you, and that's how the world knows your name. In the distance, the fitter ones laugh. If you populate excessively, you get to watch the "ABC" scene from Glengarry Glen Ross, and your shitty mammal plays Alec Baldwin's role as he screams at all the other mammals you conquered.