DanBeard
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Posts posted by DanBeard
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The climax of The Wrestler, as imagined by Vince Russo :
Randy The Ram is poised atop the top turnbuckle, looking distinctly unhealthy. He delivers the Ram Jam but, on impact, clutches his chest and begins suffering an apparent heart attack.
BUT WAIT! Marisa Tomei hadn't actually left the arena, and here she comes to Randy's aid.
BUT WAIT! She starts putting the boots to him. And there's someone coming through the crowd! Holy shit, it's Randy's daughter Evan Rachel Wood! And she's stomping a mudhole in him too! Ernest Miller As The Ayatollah takes over the beating of Randy's prone corpse as Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood start making out. Swerves and lesbians, bro!
BUT WAIT! While Marisa Tomei and Evan Rachel Wood are indulging in some hawt Sapphic clinching, Randy pops up, exchanges a knowing glance with Ernest Miller As The Ayatollah, and they lay waste to those evil harpies! Swerves and man-on-woman violence, bro!
The final shot of the movie is of Mickey Rourke and Ernest Miller sweatily making out, having powerbombed the women through tables causing them both to miscarry their secret pregnancies.
BUT WAIT! Credits are played out and only 12 year old internet geeks care about them. If you want to see the end credits, they're on a pole.
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Brodus should be fairly comfortable, assuming he's saved some of his cash. Back to bodyguarding, with the odd squash & dance on weekends, and he'll do okay for himself.
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Roman Reigns has good hair and all, but Drew had the killer combo of sheen, volume and shape.
That was, however, the most - nay, only - interesting thing about him.
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Is Impact worse than late days Thunder?
Is anyone brave enough to try and do a full comparison?
Thunder was part of a greater "Oh WCW, you're just so demented that it's almost delightful" arc.
Impact is a standalone carambolage of fail.
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Who has the best conditioned hair in WWE now that Drew is gone?
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Add me to the "one time for all time" pile for Dancer In The Dark. Antichrist as well. Plus the movie adaptation of The Cement Garden. Basically, you could draw a venn diagram of Lars Von Trier overlapping with Charlotte Gainsbourg. I'm unlikely to watch more than once, despite my
stalker potentialtotally healthy Charlotte Gainsbourg obsession. -
The whole video is just really, really uncomfortable.
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I've always wondered what would have happened if Hogan/Sting at Starrcade 1997 had essentially followed the format of Austin/Dude at OTE 1998. For me, that match was the one that truly solidified Stone Cold as THE guy in the industry.
Imagine the same match layout for Hogan/Sting, with Eric Bischoff in the Vince-as-guest-ref role, Scott Hall as timekeeper, Kevin Nash as ring announcer, and a debuting Bret Hart keeping things in check as Taker did. I daresay that if such a thing had come to pass, based on what OTE 1998 did for the WWF, that WCW could have won the wrestling war there and then.
Of course, we got something rather different.
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"Wait, that bug in the Edgar suit is Private Pyle?"
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White meat babyface to Guy Imitating Chicken was quite the paradigm shift.
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Was Naitch ever mocked in the Billionaire Ted skits?
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When Vince bought WOW and called out all the guys he didn't like during the simulcast. That was great.
Especially when the crowd cheered the guys he expected them to boo.
...and cheered with an extra dollop of gusto for Buff Bagwell. We all know what abomination resulted therefrom.
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OOH OOH FIRST POST MY TURN MY TURN. Hello. Lurker since green board days.
House show at London O2 in late 2011. Mildly hammered before the show, I become new best friends with some equally hammered strangers and we decided to go into full obnoxious heel-cheering mode. One of the co-main events was Cena/Ryder/Kofi v Awesome Truth/Kevin Nash. My new compadres and I were extra stoked to see Big Sexy's delicious shining tresses and this, combined with our intoxication, meant that we lost all sense of decorum and perspective.
So when a kid of about 8 a few rows in front started a "Miz is awful" chant, five grown men all yelled "AAAAAAAWWWWWEEEEEESSSSSOOOOOOME" at him. Kid changed tack to "Miz is Awkward", to be met with another salvo of "AAAAAAAAWWWWWWEEEEEESSSSSSOOOOOOOME". At this point, this young'un stands on his seat turns to face us, puts his hands on his hips and yells "You need to learn some respect!".
Everyone bar me shuts up, but I'm so hyped up by the glorious sheen of Kevin Nash's mane that I go totally off the deep end and start yelling at a child, "YEAH? YEAH? COME UP HERE AND SAY THAT! COME TO *THIS* ROW!*
tl;dr - Too much alcohol makes me be horrible to children who are just trying to have a good time.
Saddest Song in the World Challenge!
in MUSIC
Posted
Demo version of Harry Nilsson "Without You"
Immortal Technique "Dance With The Devil"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLS-EM3kCKo
MONO "Burial At Sea"