WELCOME TO THE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER VIDEO REVIEW #164!
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Your cover is by Raven Mack and his fabulous wrestling mag collection.
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Took a little time.  Sorry.  Holidays, children, work, death, THE WORLD.  HOLDING US DOWN.  Enjoy a LOT of St Phil and a huge cleansing blast of the Naylor Reviewing Machine.  Oh fuck yeah.
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RING OF HONOR- Anarchy In The UK- Broxburne UK- 8/13/06
PAS: Phil Schneider
TKG: Tom K
RN: Rob Naylor
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Go Shosaki vs B.J. Whitmer

PAS: This was really bad. For actual NOAH wrestlers this felt like two CZW wrestlers trying to do a 1999 All Japan main event. Who in the fuck books a SIMmed Kobashi v. Akiyama as an opener? They would exchange decently executed stuff, with things that looked backyard bad. Go falling down on his high knee, to BJ sidestepping the ref while running the ropes. The finishing section ran for nearly half of the match, and had no real progression into more dangerous moves, it just was move, move, move, move, move then finish. Seriously one of the worst matches I have seen all year.

TKG: HOLY FUC K THAT SUCKED!!! I mean good gawd that was bad. Just laughably bad. I likedthe way Shisaki sold for the tope…and I can’t think of anything else to compliment. The exchanges of dangerous-headdropping-suplex section leading to the exaggerated-armswinging-leg-slap-kicks section was conceptually amusing. I used to complain that it was silly to have Dunn and Marcos working a million headdrop, what will it take to put him away openers when the rest of the fed was working toward a more meaningful, less is more style. But FUCK…at least Dunn and Marcos knew to at least have a face/heel structure..and well built from smaller to bigger bumps not selling everything as if it’s the same. Bring back Dunn and Marcos this sucked a giant uncircumsized British cock.

RN: Wellllll, don't I stand out now, as I actively liked this match. Sure they did a ton of stuff, but the people ate it all up. The fans thoroughly enjoyed the back and forth action this match provided. I won't call it great or anything, but it riled the fans up and they were into everything afterwards, so this match was the exception to the "Don't do too much" rule, imo. I thought Whitmer's offense as well as Go's looked really good. They weren't Steamboat or Morton out there on the sell, but I didn't think it was proposterous at all. Oh well, disagreement number one on this show.
 

Johnny Storm vs Spud vs Jody Fliesh

PAS: This was fineish, it would have been the 4th best opening 3-way in a Best of the Best tourney, but that opener set a pretty low bar to scale. Fliesh worked spots with Storm who is his indy touring partner, but he still looked stuck in a pre September 11th paradigm.

TKG: I was not expecting much but nothing really too bad. I mean there was more continual selling in what was designed to be a three way spot fest than there was in the opener. I mean I guess I might have disliked this if the opener hadn’t been that atrocious. But this was fine. Fleisch still gets a ton of height on his stuff. He has DDT written on his pants and he sure does eat a lot of DDTs. No spot that absolutely blew me away. But no spot so convoluted that I couldn’t figure out who was applying it. Didn’t go too long. Fine. Post match was fun too.

RN: I didn't care for this like I thought I would. And I'm a huge fan of the high flyers. Jody seemed out of it and Jonny Storm and Spud did okay, but for a three way juniors madness match..... this was bereft of the MADNESS. Storm for the second ROH UK show in a row, looked great. The powerbomb into the rail on Spud was fucking devestating though.

Colt Cabana/Nigel McGuiness/Robbie Brookside vs Chris Hero/Chad Collyer/Claudio Castonogili

PAS: This was a lot of fun, lots of amusing shtick and stooging early, and it built to a really nice finish. Lots of really neat stuff here, I liked all of the leg work on Brookside, especially the twisty ankle break things Hero did. Both Nigel and Colt were really good hot tag guys, although Cabana’s Dusty elbows were a bit subpar. ROH really should run more six-man tags like this, as this was a better use of these guys then one of their throw away four-ways.

TKG: This put a big smile on my face and really neat to see the crowd razzing one team instead of chanting for everyone. The leg work on Brookside was pretty great and dug all Brooksides in peril stuff. Collyer is protected in this kind of setting although he should stop throwing uppercuts at guys that much taller then him.

RN: What they said. This really did have a great good guy/bad guy structure and it was nice to see the UK crowd actively dislike Hero and Claudio and to a lesser extent, Chad Collyer. Nigel needed to be in this match alot more with Hero for me to realllly like it, but it was good as it was.

SUWA vs Brian Danielson

TKG: This was an odd little match. At beginning of match really felt like SUWA was getting a Stone Cold Steve Austin face response from audience. And I was really looking forward to watching him working as disrespectful face vs. conniving chickenshit heel and their were early sections that felt like that’s what they were going to go for. With SUWA as bad ass and Danielson as guy who can regain control through finger manipulation. Then SUWA puts Danielson in one submission after another…and really turns himself heel as Danielson is turned into guy struggling physically against the odds. And Danielson is all about physically toughing it out here and starting leg pounding claps. Only to then again cheat the fans by going for the roll up win instead of the toughing it out 2.9 finish that you sensed the audience wanted. I liked the cheap finish and think would have hated this with a toughing out finish. I really dug this match and what I dug was how organic it all felt…didn’t feel planned out. But maybe it could’ve used some more planning.

PAS: The execution in this match was really great, SUWA’s punches, kicks to the stomach, forearms to the back and stomps are really great looking and really a step above pretty much every one else on the show. Tom was right about the structure of the match being off. Heel v. heel matches need to be worked a lot more even, so it didn’t work as a heel v. heel match. Danielson started the match as a heel, kind of became a face, then kind of finished as a heel. SUWA didn’t switch, he stayed the same, and it felt like Danielson should have figured out how to work a match around what SUWA was going to do.

TKG: See I’m not really sure about this. As I had sense that SUWA came in as face and then didn’t leave comfort zone of working heel. That may be a really great way for SUWA to work a match. Fuck it SUWA works that heel match really well and probably Danielson should have come in knowing that’s what SUWA was going to do. But I got the impression that Danielson started the match with assumption that SUWA was going to work face and Danielson would heel, then became face when SUWA worked his heel match. Left unsure if either guy can work a heel v heel match. Still enjoyed this as was taking place. SUWA vs. Whitmer and Danielson vs. Go would have probably been more satisfying...but doubt I would have enjoyed watching them as much.

RN: I'm pretty sure AD knew SUWA was working heel and SUWA knew AD was working heel. AD getting his head completely split open by a reckless chairshot from SUWA was nuts. SUWA did have the best punches on the show. Finish to this was really good, but I really didn't care for it. I actually like SUWA more when he wrestles flippy guys, as funny as that will sound given SUWA opinion of that kind of wrestling. He just seemed kinda boring to me in this. And AD wasn't lighting the world on fire here either, if you ask me.

Jimmy Rave vs Doug Williams

PAS: I really liked large portions of this a lot, although it was a total two man show, and neither of those guys was Williams. Rave was really great as a total dick. Running flick to the eye, springboarding into the ring to stomp Williams. Williams was fine as local guy being local, but looked off during big parts of their hot finish. I would have liked this more if it ended on either Jimmy’s roll up with his feet on the ropes, or on Williams top rope knee. They went a little long and a little indy at the end. Still it was a classic wrestling story told classically, and succeeded in a way Danielson v. SUWA didn’t.

TKG: Williams didn’t do anything actively bad (well what I think was a blown bombs away knee that ended up looking like a blown frog splash was bad). Still this did feel like I would have dug it just as much if it was Rave vs. Prince Kaimana in Hawaii or Rave vs. Eddie Colon in Puerto Rico. Rave vs. Prince Nana in Ghana would need for Rave to find someone to play an evil Jewish Jeweler from Burkina Faso to work as his second… but with the right Jew it would work.

RN: Williams did ALOT of stuff actively bad I thought. Rave went at one point to drop Doug's chest on his knee and Doug missed and didn't move enough on the bump and it was embarassingly bad. I've seen Giant Haystacks move with more mobility that Bloated Doug Williams in this. Rave as usual, was awesome here doing all the basic bad guy things that piss people off.... but maaan did I think Williams looked immobile. I stand by my opinion that he was the worst wrestler on all these UK shows.

PAS: Shirley Crabtree wouldn't be able to take the athletic bumps Williams took, but Crabtree wouldn't want to run a 3 minute indy wrestling 2.9 section either, so I imagine that would be a wash.

Briscoes Brothers vs Matt Sydal/Davey Richards

PAS: I find it totally inexplicable that I am enjoying the Briscoes as much as I am. This wasn’t nearly as good as the match the night before, but still shockingly entertaining. The opening sections seemed a little formless, and it needed to end about 3 minutes before it did, but pretty much as soon as Sydal became face in peril this match ruled. Sydal is absolutely crazy, as he was just dying on all of his bumps, including getting Gran Hamada height on all of the throws and backdrops. Mark Briscoe was also bumping like a complete loon, and both Briscoes were vicious fucks. I still am not sold on Richards, I think he is comfortably not as good as Billy Two Eagles, Buddy Wayne and Tony Kozina, but may be slightly better then Smart Bart Sawyer. I really did dig his hot tag back first tope though.

TKG: Outside of that reckless back tope Richards didn’t do much for me here. It wasn’t just that Mark Briscoe was bumping insane in this but he also was just really great at eating even the weakest or most preposterous looking piece of offense. The early parts of this match were really slow going and without Mark’s facial selling would have been completely worthless. And once he started eating stuff, Matt Sydal was a fucking superstar.

RN: Yeah, this match finally fucking ruled it. Briscoes have such a great demeanor and attitude that they take to their matches recently. Marc did a sickening jump off the second rope full body weight knees first on Sydal after not falling down with the rana to counter. It looked very painful. The Briscoes also did one of the best looking spots of the year with a Niagra Driver turned fallaway neckbreaker on Sydal. This match probably had everyone doing too much, but the people went apeshit for it and as noted, Sydal is just turning the corner and is as good as it gets on the indy scene these days. Just a fantastic showing and he made all the Briscoes sick offence look like a million bucks. Davey did well too with his intensity and nutty tope...but I wasn't a fan of his contrived falls over the top rope....meanwhile, Briscoes were flying over the top like they were Randy Savage or Jerry Estrada in their prime. This was very good and fun stuff.

Roderick Strong vs Bryan Danielson

PAS: This was the fourth match between the two of these guys for the belt. Although it was first one I saw. They clearly have a bunch of fun variations of spots with each other, and I get the sense this was kind of a house show version of their match. Still it was a blast. I am a big fan of the Mike Rotunda abdominal stretch rope grab. Strong is sort of bland, but he works fine as a bland babyface with nice spots. The finish was really great, and I love all the different ways Danielson can elbow someone in the head.

TKG: While I also got the sense that this was their house show version of their match, I didn't get the sense that I want to see them do the 60 minute version. This felt like the perfect length. I still feel that Danielson was better at "gatekeeper" role than he is at "champion" role. But this was great championship match finish. In that you got the sense of championship match, sense of champion, sense of challenger pushing himself without ever going into the kind of full on Meatloaf operatic Clash of Champions stuff that I can't stand.

RN: See, I've seen all these guys matches...and while it was great that this was condensed and imo, it was better than the first match they had last fall and better than the 3/31 draw...I think their second match in ROH was the best. This just had them trying to do different stuff and while it was very good, I personally just couldn't get into it cause I'm sick of the match. Alot of the great Sting and Luger vs. Flair matches I thought the same about... just alot of the same stuff and a few new tricks...but these two wrestled each other enough, so I wasn't a huge fan of this.

RN: This was a good show, but nowhere near as fun as the night prior and other ROH shows recently. If you love Briscoes and Sydal though...you gotta get this.
 


 ~$~

PHIL SCHNEIDER'S ON-GOING TOP 20 of 2006
Here is the current list, reviews for the older matches are in previous DVDVR's

1. Chris Benoit vs Finlay WWE 5/21
2. Jun Akiyama vs Masao Inoue NOAH 4/23
3. Negro Navarro/Villano 4/Villano 5 v. Dos Caras Jr./Heavy Metal/Solar 1 AULL 11/2
4. Rey Mysterio vs Randy Orton WWE 4/4
5. Chris Benoit v. William Regal WWE 10/8
6. Necro Butcher v. Super Dragon PWG 9/2
7. American Dragon Brian Danielson/Samoa Joe/B.J. Whitmer/Adam Pearce/Ace Steele/Homicide v. Nate Webb/Chris Hero/Claudio Castognoli/Necro Butcher/Eddie Kingston ROH 7/15
8.KENTA vs American Dragon Bryan Danielson
9. William Regal vs Chris Benoit
10. Briscoes vs Austin Aries/Roderick Strong ROH 8/12
11. Chris Benoit vs Finlay WWE 5/3
12. Finlay vs Rey Mysterio WWE 3/20
13. Chris Benoit vs JBL WWE 4/11
14. American Dragon Brian Danielson vs Nigel McGuiness ROH 8/12
15. Homicide vs Necro Butcher 5/13
16. Chris Benoit vs William Regal WWE 5/8
17. KENTA v. Matt Sydal ROH 11/4
18. American Dragon Brian Danielson vs Samoa Joe ROH 8/6
19. Ric Flair vs Mick Foley- WWE 8/20
20. El Hijo Del Santo vs Perro Aguyao Jr. 8/25

Previously on the list
- American Dragon Brian Danielson vs Nigel McGuiness ROH 4/29
- Mistico/Negro Casas vs Averno/Memphisto CMLL 4/15
- Chris Hero/Necro Butcher/Super Dragon v. Samoa Joe/B.J. Whitmer/Adam Pearce ROH 4/22
- La Mascara/El Hijo Del Santo v. Blue Panther/Tarzan Boy CMLL GDL 1/1
- Rey Mysterio v. Mark Henry WWE 1/15
- Damien Wayne v. Sean Denny NWA-VA 5/6
- Meiko Satomura v. Aja Kong Sendai Pro Wrestling 7/9
- L.A. Park/Marco Corleone/Johnny Stamboli v. Dr. Wagner Jr./Dos Caras Jr./Lizmark Jr. CMLL 5/19
- Sadico v. Terry 2000 AULL 9/13
- Rey Mysterio v. Finlay 9/5
- Yuki Ishikawa v. Hiroyuki Ito Big Mouth Loud 5/4
- El Hijo Del Santo/Negro Casas/Mistico v. Atlantis/Black Warrior/Ultimo Guerrerro 8/4
- Low-Ki v. Necro Butcher IWA-MS 4/1
- Rey Mysterio/Bobby Lashley/Chris Benoit v. JBL/Finlay/Randy Orton WWE 2/23
- Samoa Joe v. Necro Butcher IWA-MS 1/12
- Minoru Suzuki vs. Yoshiaki Fujiwara Big Mouth Loud 3/22
- Juventud v. Kid Kash WWE 1/3
- A.J. Styles v. Matt Sydal ROH 1/14
- Samoa Joe v. BJ Whitmer ROH 1/14
- Chris Benoit v. Randy Orton WWE 1/24
- Shadow WX/Mammoth Sasaki v. Abdullah Kobyashi/Daisuke Sekimoto BJW 1/27/06
- Finlay v. Chris Benoit WWE 1/30
- HHH v. Big Show WWE 2/13
- Finlay/JBL v. Lashley/Chris Benoit WWE 2/16
- KENTA/Takeshi Morishima/Mohammed Yone v.Kenta Kobashi/Yoshinobu Kanemaru/Tamon Honda NOAH 2/17
- Undertaker v. Kurt Angle WWE 2/19
- KUDO & MIKAMI v. Yoshiaki Yago & MIYAWAKI Chikara 2/24
- Milano Collection AT/Skyde v. Claudio Castagnoli/ Chris Hero Chikara 2/26
- Finlay v. Bobby Lashley WWE 5/8
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3. Negro Navarro/Villano 4/Villano 5 vs Dos Caras Jr./Heavy Metal/Solar 1 AULL 11/2: The story behind this match was Heavy Metal convinced the rudos to work technical style as a tribute to Hurricane Ramirez, and so we got three caidas of beautiful technical lucha libre. Solar and Negro Navarro have actually matched up a fair amount this year and your hardcore lucha fans know what to expect from them. This was probably their best match up this year, as it looked more like a match then an exhibition. This match was a lot more then the Solar/Navarro show. Everyone else brought it hard too, The second match up was Villano IV v. Dos Caras Jr., and it ruled, Villano was constantly countering attacks by Dos Caras, especially focusing on wrist control on the mat. The biggest shocker of this match was Heavy Metal, he is a guy who I don't remember doing much mat wrestling in his prime, but now after years of legendary drug abuse he was a machine, in the first fall he was as intricate as the old maestros, but at twice the speed.

Your second fall started with the same match ups, except with standing exchanges instead of matwork. Navarro gets the quick fall with an incredible rolling hammerlock.

The third fall mixed up the match ups a bit, and again Heavy Metal was a stand out as he goes hold for hold and counter for counter with Negro Navarro on the mat, and doesn't get smoked or obviously carried. I actually thought it was better then the Navarro v. Solar section. The Villano V versus Dos Caras Jr. section was off the chain, as it was based around Villano going after the arm, leading to the single greatest keylock deadlift I have seen. Fast section at the end, includes a nice Dos Caras Jr. tope, and a cool roll up finish. This wasn't much of a year for lucha, but this match would fare well any year.

6. Necro Butcher v. Super Dragon PWG 9/2: I knew from jump that I would enjoy large parts of this match, both guys are not afraid to beat the ever loving shit out of who ever they are wrestling, and both guys are not afraid to take completely uncalled for bumps. Still I had some trepidation, one of my problems with the Low-Ki v. Necro match was that it went 25+ and was a match that should have gone 10, I have also seen a ton of Super Dragon matches which have gone well past their expiration points and when I saw that this match went 26 minutes, I assumed it would run too long.

I assumed wrong, as both guys sold long enough that it never felt like it dragged. You had sections where one guy was lying in a crumpled mess, while the other guy was grabbing the ropes trying to breath through cracked ribs. You had some kick outs of stuff that should finish a match, but there was usually enough time between move and pin that I bought it. Plus its the Necro Butcher, we all have seen what his body can take. Necro's selling is what made this, Super Dragon smashes the shit out of his hand early, and while Necro still threw it, it was the kind of punches that a boxer with a broken hand throws, fist not fully closed, some times just a slap. Of course this match had all the grotesque violence you would expect, punches to the jaw, stomps to the face, tailbones being impacted wrongly, bodies landing on chairs in wrong ways. Still it is 2006, Ric Flair is taking thumbtack bumps on TV, it takes more then sick violence, and this match had all of that.

7. American Dragon Brian Danielson/Samoa Joe/B.J. Whitmer/Adam Pearce/Ace Steele/Homicide vs Nate Webb/Chris Hero/Claudio Castognoli/Necro Butcher/Eddie Kingston ROH 7/15: This was the Cage of Death finale of the ROH v. CZW feud and was one of the best "loads of booking" matches I have ever seen. This was a match loaded with storylines, and was a War Games match which didn't follow the formula, and usually both things are recipes for disaster.

I mean on paper the match layout reads like Vince Russoism, insider smark joke (J.J. Dillon winning the coin toss), in match heel turn (American Dragon jumping Joe), multiple surprise entries (Kingston, Homicide), in match face turn (Homicide), feuding tag partners (Hero and Kingston), random rule change (allowing Homicide in), then a post match heel turn (Cornette) complete with insider smark joke (Low-Ki being mentioned without any intention of him coming in.) I mean there is no way this should have been anything but a clusterfuck disaster.

However it worked, the booking of the match actually led to a great high point with Homicide coming in, and never felt like it distracted from the match, and the match was just filled with excellent performances.

Your seconds were great, Cornette was super getting furious at Danielson when he turned, and he owned the final angle, it is too bad that Homicide v. Cornette angle fell apart because it started great. Julius Smokes was his usual great self, I especially loved his furious attempt to get into the cage when Cide was being jumped. However J.J. Dillon, was the king second, just incredible, his awesome ring jacket, his look of disgust when CZW was winning, his backing away from Homicide when he came into the cage, and his rubbing his hands together in glee when Cornette called him in to whip Homicide. ROH really needs to find a regular role for J.J. Dillon, he is the fucking man.

The ROH team was pretty fun, Samoa Joe was awesome as you unstoppable face monster, wasting Claudio in the opening and coming off like a superstar. I enjoyed Ace Steel running in with the cow bell and just acting like a complete nutter, and of course Homicide came off as a total superstar. Rocking the old school JAPW deathmatch gear, pulling forks out, and just killing everyone, this was his match and he stepped up. I had no problems with Pearce, he was fine and kind of a non entity. Whitmer took some bumps, but he was the one guy in this match who made me groan, he would be throwing around shitty exploders when they weren't needed, everyone else was beating the shit out each other, and Whitmer would throw crappy elbows to the stomach or his fake Misawa elbow exchanges. They should have just gotten the Carnage Crew for those two rolls.

The CZW team however were the stars of this show. Nate Webb shows he is a complete fucking loon as he wins a bumpathon match with Necro Butcher in it. Kingston and Claudio were both fun, if a little in the backround. I especially loved all of Kingston's goofy facial selling. Necro also comes off like a huge star, this wasn't really a Necro showcase match, although his couple of big spots (running through the tacks, getting suplexed on the chair) were amazing, I would have liked to see a little more Necro offense though. Chris Hero may have been the MVP of this match he is such a hateble little prick, that you just want him to get killed. The crowd taunting cravates, his little speech in the middle of the match, running away, probably the match of his career.

8. KENTA vs American Dragon Bryan Danielson: KENTA is a guy I don't really like but who brings something to a match, he is really athletic and he has a decent dickish charisma. He is a guy who can have a good match if his opponent brings some order to the match. SUWA brought the SUWishness, Sydal brought some great underdog babyface charisma. Danielson had the bad shoulder coming in, so the early parts of the match (which can be a weak point in both guys matches) was really strong here, as KENTA had a target and just kicked the hell out of his shoulder. The middle section with Danielson working the leg, did feel a little time killish (although I did love Dragon's improv on the semi-blown tapitia.) The finish stretch was your normal Danielson hot finish stretch, and it really built into both Danielson's shoulder injury and KENTA's big winning streak. KENTA going back multiple times to the Fujiwara armbar after every move, Danielson being completely reckless to keep his belt, and the incredible near fall for the Go 2 Sleep. The last run was totally awesome with Danielson throwing everything at KENTA before getting the win. Easily the best KENTA match ever, and up there in the Danielson oeuvre.

9. Chris Benoit vs Finlay WWE 11/21:  This was yet another awesome match in this series. Whatever you think of the WWE, you have to love them constantly giving these two guys 15+ minutes to beat on each other. This had less mat wrestling then some of their other matches, but may have even been more brutal. I think they saw Regal maul Kendrick earlier in the show and decided to up their stiffness. Finlay just rips at Benoit knee and bloody side, and their are multiple moments when you just want to turn your face from the TV as they lay in hurt. I loved how they started this match too, they just pushed each other around in a tight collar and elbow lock, and you just knew it was going to be on. You could hear JBL just get giddy at the thought of it. That dirty rat Finlay gets the cheap win, and we clearly need a rematch or three to settle this dispute.

10. Briscoes vs Austin Aries/Roderick Strong ROH 8/12: I hadn't seen much recent Briscoes in the ring, although the greatness of their redneck promos had got me rooting for them to rule. It is really hard to pull off one of these pedal to the floor workrate tag matches, It is really easy to go too long, easy to hit too many moves early so the finishes don't mean anything, easy to hit too many big spots for meaningless kick outs. I think 95% of these matches fail, I didn't like the Dragon Gate six-man, don't care for most KENTA/Marifuji tags, I don't like this kind of stuff.

With all that preface, this match was spectacular. One of the few times that it just worked. All four guys were completely on point. My favorite thing about this was the brutality. I mean every shot was tight and nasty, Aries hits his springboard back elbow in the corner, and just pops Mark Briscoe right in the eye. Jay nearly breaks Aries nose with a high knee, Strong just blisters people with chops. The beating they lay on Aries when he is the face in peril was great, everything was done with such force, the spot where Jay springs off of Aries back to knock Strong off the apron was a great tag spot. When Strong finally gets the tag, Aries just lies down in the corner sucking air, it is little stuff like that which makes a match. You had a big hot run at the end, which really never had the point where I throw my hands in the air- which most of these matches have. I do think Strong came back a bit quickly from spike Jay Driller and the Doomsday Device, but it wasn't egregious. If this is your cup of tea, you will absolutely shit yourself over this match, even if it isn't I still think you should check it out.

13. KENTA v. Matt Sydal ROH 11/4: I saw the Davey Richards v. KENTA match live, and while a lot of people liked that, I really thought it was pretty much a textbook example of meaningless showcase wrestling. So I wasn’t really looking forward to this, man alive was I shocked at how great it was. This was worked straight face v. heel, and Sydal is so good at sympathetic babyface, that the crowd bought into that, they were chanting "Let's Go Matt" with no corresponding "Let's go KENTA", they were rooting for someone to win, not for two guys to put on a performance. Matt Sydal really wrestled the match of his life, as he took a huge beating, and perfectly timed all of his hope spots, some of which were just spectacular. I remember an especially great rana counter of the Go 2 Sleep which blew the roof off the place. Also even though this was worked as a “what will it take to put Matt Sydal away” match, there was never a point where the kick outs became unbelievable, which is the usual flaw in those matches. Often in current juniors wrestling they go a step to far, and I throw my hands up and disengage from the match, if a top rope piledriver only gets a two count, why do I believe anything will get a three. They never did that here, so I stayed engaged.

14. American Dragon Brian Danielson vs Nigel McGuiness ROH 8/12: This match reminded me a lot of Austin Aries v. Samoa Joe when Joe dropped the title. In the sense that the body of the match was nothing exceptional, but it built to an absolutely brilliant finish. The stuff pre the floor, felt a little perfunctory. They went through the rope breaks and it felt a little like killing time, it was fine, but I think the early work was better in their first match.

Everything after they go to the floor is amazing. Nigel is certifiable for letting his head get mauled like that, but it lead to an amazing visual, and incredible heat for the finish. He had a lump on his head the size of a grapefruit and was covered in blood. When he comes back in he is just has a great babyface scream. He doesn't get in a ton of offense, but he does hit this amazing lariat. He does a spot where he bounces off the ropes to hit a lariat, the first attempt he fails because of the blood loss, but he gets his energy back tries again and just kills Dragon. It was such a great variation of a signature spot, and was one of the better near falls in company history. Danielson is such a killer, and the Gary Goodrich elbows have never looked this good. I really think after this match that Nigel could carry the promotion as champ, and that is something I wouldn’t have thought before this.

19. Ric Flair vs Mick Foley- WWE 8/20:
This was the legendary Funk v. Foley match they never really had. Flair was an amazing Terry Funk, taking insane uncalled for bumps, bleeding like a freak and totally pulling off psychotic old man. Psychotic Funk was always kind of funny, there was nothing funny about Flair covered in blood screaming "I'll fucking kill you too Bitch", something pretty awesome, but nothing funny. Although I enjoyed Flair v. Big Show, they really shouldn't have done it, as the second time you see Ric Flair take barbed wire and thumbtack bumps doesn't mean as much as the first time. I imagine without the Show match this might of ended up higher on my list. Foley took a couple of crazy bumps, including the bump at the end which was insane enough to buy the false ref finish, but this was all about Ric Flair, whatever shots people might take at him, he still knows how to do big match wrestling as good as anyone.

20. El Hijo Del Santo vs Perro Aguyao Jr. 8/25: Santo shows up on tape about 8 times a year, and reminds you who the fuck he is. Perro is a guy who is pretty useless in the Coliseo six-mans I have been watching all year, but he is a guy who knows how to work a big main event. The first fall is all Aguyao brawling as he and El Terrible jump Santo and pound on him. Choking him and tossing him into seats. Getting the duke in the first fall with a great looking double stomp. Santo comes back in the second fall, hitting some awesome headscissors, an amazing in ring tope (which Aguyao takes better then anyone in wrestling) and winning the second fall with a crazy submission I have never seen before, kind of a reverse tapitia with a neck vise. Third fall starts with Santo chaining really great looking neck submissions before he breaks out the dives, hitting a tope to a prone Aguyao, tope to a standing Aguyao and a crazy plancha. They have a bunch of fun near falls, and a nifty little ref bump finish. I wouldn't put this on a list of classic Santo singles matches, but a big Santo singles is enough to place pretty high on a MOTY list.

~!~
motherfucking ROB NAYLOR GETS A DVD PLAYER
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So I finally got a fuckin' DVD Recorder... so I figured I'd make a bunch of random comps from all my old tv show tapes.

I didn't want to just do the usual... "ooooh, all perfect matches that everyone loved" type shit... so I went for a bunch of comps that I'd put together of tv matches over the last decade or more that I really enjoyed, even if they were short of full of spots or just forgotten about over time.

Here's reviews of cool shit I watched when putting the comps together...

Syxx vs Benoit:  This match is a great tv match from I'm guessing Summer/Fall of 97. Syxx is great at taking all of Benoit's offense and vice versa. The match was actually a backdrop to set up a Jeff Jarrett vs. Benoit angle....and MONGO and Dean...but still, they made the most of the match. Two great moments are imo, the best through the ropes Tope in the history of Nitro and Benoit is like a bullet and hits Syxx and crashes hard. And when Jarrett interferes, Syxx takes a sick accidental bump over the post. Great little match. Short doesn't mean it sucks.

Kidman vs Juvy:  Summer of 98 Nitro. These guys had ALOT of matches, but this to me is THE match for them. Around 11 minutes of the best cruiserweight action WCW had. This is when Kidman was still in the Flock and Juvy was a good guy. Juvy hits this crazy gravity defying over the top no touch plancha into the aisle and the crowd goes nuts. Great finish in this one also and I miss matches like this one to look forward to on Monday wrestling.

Hidaka vs Super Crazy:  ECW 99 Christmas. What a great match this was. Hidaka showed up, busted out crazy transitions into Kneebars, Crazy adapted so well to his style and this match also had a Springboard into a twisting plancha into the front row. I recall at Xmas when this year happened, a friend calling me from celebrating the holiday at his grandparents house telling me the whole house of non wrestling fans were marking out over how fun the match was. I love when shit like that happens. This show also had a Tanaka vs. Awesome ECW title change on it, and it was great also. I think this match was taped in Nashville.

Razor/123 Kid vs Yoko/Owen from WWF Action Zone Oct 95:  Okay, this is a bit clipped, since I had a short attention span and didn't tape the whole entire match, but the open and the finishing stuff is on it...so while it is 3 minutes or so, it's must see. Kid and Owen worked so well together it's sick. Really great open with the good guys getting one up on Yoko/Owen and the finish is just speedy and heated and fun also.

Luger vs Rick Steiner from November 1991 Clash: What a great match. This was the time when Flair left. I was one of those that thought Luger stepped up so much as a heel champ, that it didn't even matter. Him and Rick had a great feud and this was the finish of it. Great match, good build to the finish and Scott Steiner hits the sickest Frankensteiner possible on the 350 pound Mr Hughes near the finish.

Hughes and Vader vs Steiners. Clash from January 92 Topeka:  This is another of my favorite tv matches. Everyone talks about the longer match from Japan with Steiners vs. Vader/Bigelow, but I like this one. The brighter more excitable atmosphere, Hughes taking the worlds highest PHAT man backdrop and the Steiners just suplexing the shit out of the two behemoths makes this work huge.

Shawn Micheals vs Dr. Tom Pritchard. Summer of 95 Superstars episode:  Okay, in summer of 95, Micheals was the best wrestler in the entire world, if you ask me. He came back from injury, wrestled Bundy, Pritchard, Del Ray, Skip, Rad Radford...etc... on tv and just toret he house down every time. He had decent opponents, but Micheals timing on working the crowd was just amazing and he'd die taking bumps to get people into it also. This Pritchard match is fantastic. Cornette and Del Ray interfere at numerous points to get one up on Shawn, but he interacts with them brilliantly at all times and does tons of little things to entertain the crowd. I'll never realize why Cornette and Micheals hated each other, as they were amazing working spots with each other during matches. This is like the Rockers vs. Brainbusters.....but in a singles match with interference form. 100% nothing but fun and another style of match that WWF wouldn't do on tv today.

Syxx vs Rey Misterio. Summer 1997 Nitro:  Here, Syxx comes out with Nash and Hall, who play the ultimate dick/bully heels here. Syxx knocks Rey to the apron and Hall, who's smoking a cigar, knocks ashes onto the back of Rey's mask..... As usual, this is all about Syxx getting genuine heel heat and giving the spectacular Rey Jr. comebacks and they all pay off. This match had a "sad ending" so to speak and the heels go over strong. I like that at the right times in wrestling.

Pillman vs Badstreet (Brad Armstrong) from Sept 91 Clash: Here's where people say I'm nuts, but I actually liked this match more than any Liger vs. Pillman match. Pillman just is on point here and Badstreet looks like the smoothest and best wrestler in the world. His cocky mannerisms are great here. So many markout moments in this incredibly heated match. Pillman his the sickest tope of all time and crashes face first into the guardrail and his legs SMACK hard off the concrete. But he is iron man and shakes it off in his quest to win. Another great match. If anyone as the "Fall Brawl Clash from 1991" rewatch this one. It's great.

Brad Armstrong vs Bagwell. Nitro November? 1997:  Opening match, during the NWO, Piper's BACK IN WCW period. Bagwell was still an "American Male" and Armstrong is just Armstrong. Which means, Armstrong just fucking rules it. This match is your standed good guy vs. good guy match, until at one point Armstrong gets mad and just SLAPS the shit out of Bagwell, which gets an ENORMOUS pop and shakes the people into the match. goes about 8 minutes and is very good and always forgotten about when people talk good cruiserweight Nitro matches.

Pillman vs Eddy. Nitro Oct. 96 ish: This was supposed to be Flair vs. Eddy, but Flair doesn't want to "sully his hands", so goes back to the jet with AA, the Hooters girls and puts the champagne on ice for Pillman for when he's done. Pillman was beginning his "I'm CARAYZAY" angle and Eddie was a good underdog. Not a **** match or anything, but a good story, surprise finish and a WILD plancha over the post from Eddie onto Pillman who was pretty deep in the aisle.

Kensuke Sasaki vs Benoit. Nitro from November 96: What a neat match this was... as a TOP LINE New Japan star wrestles a New Japan young boy and ... loses... in like 4 minutes. Benoit was just christened a new Horseman at this point and Sasaki was in to wrestle Sting, but MAN, at this stage, you'd have thought Sakaki would have destroyed him. Hardhitting as you'd think, short, but brutal and Benoit hits a sick series of german rollover suplexes into a dragon suplex for your finish. A match to look back on.

Sting vs Dean Malenko from Same Nitro as above:  Another "neat" match. This was when Dean, Eddy and Benoit came to WCW from ECW and I worried how they'd be used. This match has one of the best Eric Bischoff commentary moments. Mongo dumbly BURIES Malenko as a midget who "Cannot take this Man (Sting)" and Eric tells him off and says, "I've seen smaller wrestlers with Malenko's size eat BIGGER guys for Lunch" and then Malenko goes on offense and MONGO changes his opinion. It's a little thing, but I saw it as hugely effective at the time. Dean hits a beeeeautiful german suplex and bridge on Sting and this is as good a little wrestler vs. big wrestler/established star match as there is on tv wrestling. Sting sells well for Dean and even post match is seen hobbling.

Now, here comes a cavalcade of LUCHA in WCW. Like the matches above... where I learned that Xpac/Waltman/Syxx is the lost great worker of the entire 90's... this comp that I made reminded me how fucking amazing Parka was in his stay in WCW. He just ruled it in nearly every match he was in...and dammit, Silver King was also off the charts amazing at the time. I'd kill for a great and thorough Parka or Silver King comp.

Konnan/JL/Parka vs Jericho/Calo/Chavo:  This was the first time Konnan convinced WCW to let the Luchadores bust out a crazy multiman match on tv and they had the best or second best match on this Clash in Jan. 97. Jericho and Lynn weren't originally in this, but I think Juvy and Psicosis got lost.... so they added the North Americans. Lynn worked Michinoku and Jericho had worked in Mexico, so they were able to keep up with the frenetic pace. This isn't a particularly long match, but Konnan looked great in this and the finish with JL taking the completely psychotic SUPER SPIKE FRANKENSTEINER off the top makes this must see. Gave the CHEESEHEADS in attendence and whole different, faster paced style of wrestling to love.

Juvi/Calo/Garza vs Damien/Ciclope/Parka:  Amazingly, after the great match above, it took the fools in WCW around 5 months to put a trios match on tv. This one aired in June 97 and MAN, it ruled it. I remember this tag and a Shawn/Austin vs. Owen/Davey match aired on the same night on different shows. Awesome night of great wrestling. Great exchanges throughout this with the fans completely getting shocked into the match when Calo hit a flip tope and went careening into the 2nd row by accident landing on fans. From that point, it was on. Tremendous dive sequence toward the end, with Juvi hitting a 450 plancha and Garza, who debuted in WCW in this match, hit his beautiful spinning corkscrew plancha prior to the finish.

Parka/Psicosis/Villanos vs Ultimo/Juvy/Ciclope/Halloween/ Lizmark Jr.:  This one aired in September of 97. Villanos, Parka and Psicosis might be the best team of bases ever compiled. This match rocked... as Ultimo brought his Japan-Lucha stylings to the mix. Parka realllly was fuckin awesome during his entire stay in WCW and they were giant retards not to push him huge after Souled Out 98 ppv tag match angle. The dive sequence (which for a move mark like me...was ALWAYS the main reason to mark out for these matches) was nuts... and fuck did this sequence deliver huge. Halloween/Ciclope just had a death wish his whole career and dammit, his flip Liger Dive overshot and his legs hit the rail and he just whiplashed the hell out of himself with his head/neck hitting the floor. Then Parka hits a springboard twisting Asai moonsault onto a pile. Juvy and Parka owned this match.
 

Silver King/Parka/ Psicosis vs Rey Jr./Juvy/Garza:  Okay, THIS match came the week after the next one on this dvd I made. This one was just a ton of fun. Rey Jr.'s leg was FUCKKKKED up and he had a brace, but this still stands as one of my all time fave Rey Jr. performances ever. I liked "Trying to die" Rey Jr. alot more than "I'm a smarter wurker" Rey Jr. I appreciate both...but Rey Jr. from 96-98...I'd try to NEVER miss his matches and he'd actually entice me to buy WCW PPV's to see his stuff. In this... he hit the world's wildest top rope rana which Parka caught and like took in a way that he made a spin landing on the bump and it just set the crowd off to marking out. Rey then hit a crazy Dragon Kid style tilt a whirl headscissors on Psicosis sending him over the top to the floor. The above two moves sound like shit you see all the time now, but the speed he hit this shit with is amazing. Then.... Silver King and Rey Jr..... two of my all time faves... tear shit up and Silver King takes a reverse Frankentoyota off the top rope ...to a gargantuan pop and then Rey hits the springboard capture Rana... DRIIIIVING King's head into the mat. Sickest rana he ever hit, for my money. Incredibly fun match.

Rey Jr./Juvy vs. Parka and Psicosis From Dec. 97: The infamous match that Meltzer called the "Next Generation updated of RnR vs. MX...." These teams had imo, the best tag match of all 1997, as Parka and Psicosis based like Richard Pryor for the duration of this. Juvy and Rey did all kinds of crazy high flying double teams ...assisted top rope ranas, double liger dives etc... the finish is what really makes this match... as Rey Jr. hits a springboard rana TO THE AISLEWAY ON FUCKING PARKA...who takes the spot like a campeon....and then Juvi hits a 450 one second later on a prone Psicosis. To say the crowd went motherfucking apeshit... is an understatement. To this day, one of my top 5 coolest finishes I've seen in wrestling. Rey Jr. and Juvy NEVER teamed again in WCW and Parka and Psicosis were never made a full time team either. THANKS DOUBLE U SEE DOUBLE U!!!!

Rey Jr./Konnan vs Parka/ Psicosis: This is a hidden gem. Smack dab in the middle of the atrocious Master P angle... Konnan and Rey...just looked like the best good guys in the world here. Konnan found the fountain of youth in the match, and I swear to god, this sounds like a statement on crack...but I think he looked better than EVERYONE else in this match...and everyone else was awesome. Eric Bischoff's commentary in his is soooooo overwhelming... as he turned "good" and was talking about Master P's influence on teaching Black kids to read? and how "Hip hop will meet Kick Butt?" and talking about how Konnan's "Head was... in the game"..... if you can get passed Bischoff being a tool here.... fuck, these guys tore it down. Teddy the Tank Reede is at ringside with "New Japan superstar" Swoll. This is awesome though, and Parka and Psicosis could have a comp made of all their awesome tag and six man tags.

Rey Jr./ Eddy vs. Parka/Blitzkreig: It's no secret that I am the biggest Blitzkreig fan on the planet... okay, except maybe Jack Evans, but I'm like his biggest fan too..... but Blitz and Parka are like my all time dream team. And vs. Eddy fuckin Guerrero and Rey Rey....this is like the best 4 minute match possible. All these guys were at their very best here and Blitz does a WIIIILD handspring into an elbow but Eddy moves and Blitz FLIPS himself into a crotching onto the top buckle....ooooouch. Then Eddy shotputs Rey into a rana off the top and I'm loving it. Parka and Rey do a the baseball slide under the ropes to the apron into a swinging ddt on the floor and I've never seen it look better. Incredible and short match....and Vamp and ICP, who I don't care what anyone says was a COOL fuckin bad guy group....are looming in the aisle postmatch.

Rey Jr./Eddy vs. Juvy/Psicosis: A thunder match. This was suuuch a neat departure from the super spotty stuff all over the rest of this tape... as they work a loooong match old school styles here and pull it off great. I won't spoil too much here...but a great southern style tag match with Psicosis and Juvy being uber rudos and Eddy and Rey showing a ton of fire.

Villano IV and V vs Juvy and Garza: This is a forgotten incredible match too. This was another one of those times where I learned the value of an awesome base for Fliers....as the Villano's were on fuckin point in this one. Juvy and Garza made for an awesome high flying good guy team, so go figure, I don't think THEY had another two vs. two tag match either after this one. Garza nearly dies overshooting the Corkscrew Plancha....Great finish here too.

Kaz/Blitzkrieg vs Juvy/Silver King: This match is totally madness and the fans by the end were going nuts. King and Blitz paired off great and Juvy and Kaz should have done a best of 31 series after how great they wrestled against each other here.....
 
 

$
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 It's the morning and the mourning it's
dawning on me too
   SINGLES GOING STEADY
 I'd no warning- just a condolence card
to tell me that we're through
 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 $

$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$%$ THE GREAT MUTA vs RICKY STEAMBOAT- NEW JAPAN PRO WRESTLING- 9/3/1990- [DEAN RASMUSSEN]: I was warned that this match would make me want to poke my own eyes out. I can't imagine any (non-Kojima) match doing this BUT I was afeared of watching and reviewing this. Plus I hated the fuck out of the last Steamboat In Japan match I saw and I didn't want to gang up on the Steamer. Anyhoos, It's been a month and a half and I can't keep this match on my hard drive at work forever and I got a brief lapse in work and all arrows are pointing to "WATCH THE BAD MATCH." So here we are. So here we go. Muta has little acrobats and fire-eaters and is lowered down from the ceiling. This will make up for the crappiness, right? Muta is young and only need 7 or 8 knee braces at this point. Muta sneak attacks with a drop kick and chokes Steamboat! Steamboat can't get to the floor because they are already screwing stuff up but Steamboat bumps big over the rail. Steamboat has really great looking knife edge chops and really lays them in to set up his own dropkick and we are back to square one. They fiddle around until the Deep Armdrags kick in and Steamboat procures an armbar. Muta sells this by looking like he is looking for change on the mat. They go dropkick CRAZY and Muta is cut-off by a Deep Armdrag. And we go back to the armbar. Steamboat is arm-wringin' to beat the band and throwing in a chop here and there. Muta gets in two moves and then is deeply dragged by the arm and an armbar is procured. Muta COUNTERS with an INVERTED Atomic Drop and they take it to the streets. Steamboat is racked across the rail- testicles-first -and Muta is heelish with his second ball-destruction. Muta smacks Steamboat around a little and poses for the Gong photographers. Steamboat comes in and Muta methodically kicks him and chops him and sinks in the Seven Minute Static Kneebar Of Mutoh-ness. Steamboat tries to make it less mind-numbing by selling it really big but it is Muta and he can really suck it when he wants to. He switches to the half-assed ankle lock for several minutes and uses the ropes for leverage. Steamboat is Steamboat, so he sells the knee while trying to fight back. Muta cuts him off with kicks to the chest. Muta opts against trading blows with Steamboat and sinks back into a Seven Minute Kneebar. Muta kicks Steamboat's leg and Steamboat does the Theisman sell- which... I don't know. When you see how completely Muta doesn't give a crap about this match, it's kinda disconcerting to see Steamboat selling to the back of the Tokyo Dome. Hey! A PowerDriver! Muta crushes his own testicles on the top turnbuckle and Steamer Superplexes for the double nine count. They run the ropes and Steamboat goes for the series of quick pins. Steamboat misses lariat and both fly over the toprope to the floor. Steamboat will bump 4 ya. Steamboat with the toprope Karate Chop but he is BLINDED mid-flying body press by the Muta mist. Muta had an awesome moonsault in 1990. Not interesting enough for me to actively want to blind myself, but not boring anough for me to actually fall asleep. I would place this in the sludge of the middle of all wrestling. Think of your favorite Duke the Dumpster Droese match and this is right alongside it. There.

!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@!@! Jun Kasai/ MEN'S Teioh/ Saburo Inematsu vs BADBOY Hido/ Jaki Numazawa/ Takashi Sasaki- BIG JAPAN PRO WRESTLING- 10/13/06- [DEAN RASMUSSEN]: (Lenny, sullen... misanthropic, posted this.) Ah what the fuck. It's 12:35 in the afternoon, I worked through lunch and got a bunch of annoying crap done, why not- WHY NOT?!?!- reward ME with a mediocre death match. I deserve it. Sometimes you have to love YOU. Plus, maybe there will be lessons to be learned. Crank that shit up. I am now acquainted with the sundry dirtbags that make up the Big Japan. Numazawa is sooooo fucking sleazy looking. You may recall him from the Shoji Kondo review last time. MEN'S Teioh is my favorite in this because he weighs 70,587 pounds now. Actually, this Saburo Inematsu is really growing on me. He looks like a deathmatch guy. He is soooo The guy in front of you at NAPA auto parts picking up a timing belt for his cousin's Maverick. He does a lot of headbutts. He also bumps like a fucking psycho and blades big, early, and often. The match is based around the lame ass flourescent light tubes- as opposed to shit exploding. So my love has definate limits. MEN'S Teioh is a fat load now- but in a ~skinny guy drinking too much~/Dick Murdock kinda way. He doesn't really inspire memories of his glory days here. He does a British Bulldog Endless Vertical Suplex which was non-deathmatchy in its funness. Saburo is the only guy streetfighting in this so he is definately my fave in this now. Hido stabs folks in the head and MEN'S does his Terry Funk punching and you realize that Hido's shirt says "Anybody Killa"- wait, that's a 2 Tuff Tony shirt. Now I'm confused. His Camel Clutch avec scissor-stabs to the head is interesting. Saburo conjures a CostCo wholesales mayonnaise container level of blood in reaction. Sasaki makes the tubing effective by kicking it directly into Saburo's chest. Saburo shows his fighting spirit by kicking out of a Sasaki Michinoku Driver and shows his stupid spirit by wallowing around and swapping blood with Numazawa. Numazawa and MEN'S hashing it out with light tubes is truly crappy- just worst shit you saw on ECW on TNN-level crappy execution and HARDCORE!ness. The upside is that they running this like a regular 6 man tag. The downside is that they aren't having a very good 6 man tag. It helps this from becoming 200 kick outs though- as they can make saves. Sabura is bleeding from five different areas and gets in a very nice running Death Valley Driver to set up Kasai's frogsplash. Hido makes the save and they pretty much all hit a finisher and the other team makes a save and that kills some time. Takeshi Sasaki hits a nice Northern Lights Bomb. The finishing five minutes are actually perfectly fine professional wrestling. Numazawa whips out the most Clamydia-drenched F-5 one will ever see and we call it a day. What lessons have we learned. There is only one: use shit that blows up. And barbed wire.

%^%^%^%^%^%^%^% SUWA/ YUSHINOBU KANEMARU vs RICKY MARVIN/ TAIJI ISHIMORI- NOAH 10/29/2006- [DEAN RASMUSSEN]: Ishimori's pants are yellow. None more yellow. SUWA and Kanemaru is CONCEPTUALLY my favorite tagteam. Ricky Marvin is all spectacular in the opening flurry with Kanemaru and Marvin and Ishimori do super-elaborate double-team spinning dropkicks to get the rubes all pumped and we settle in. SUWA uses his pain-inflicting to make this a superfun beginning- as he beats the fuck out of Yellow Fauncy Paunts, all the while rudoing for him like SUWA is wont to do- when he isn't being a complete asshole. There are a lot of straight rights to the teeth and you and I both enjoy that. Ricky Marvin's lil huervos get elbowed off the second rope to kill time until they can get back to beating the dogshit out of Pants Boy. Kanemaru has a mission- "I am a bigger shithead than SUWA. I will beat the living fuck out of this pretty little fanny pants." And we get to watch. SUWA offers a chop and Quebradora to present his case. Kanemaru upstages SUWA by kicking Ricky Marvin in the head while Marvin is still keeled over on the apron nursing the mortal remains of his testicles. Kanemaru is such a complete motherfucker. Kanemaru tags in and Pants does a springing thing off the ropes into a elbow smash and gets the hot tag. Marvin is all awesome in the speed of his house a-flame. He and Kanemaru he a really sweet segment that SUWA breaks up with a toprope lariat. Marvin has a final flurry to set up the comical DOUBLE MOR-TAL~! on SUWA. Kanemaru and Marvin hit the streets and Yelloow Paunts has a messy moment in the corner trying to pull off an unsuccessful Phoenix Thunderbird 360 Tumbleweed 480 Stardust PressSault. SUWA takes a batch of Pants Boy's comical somersault offense before catching him mid-spinning rotating barrellroll spinning crescent backheel kick and SUWA gently and lovingly Backdrop Drives Ishimori straight TO HELL! He then fuckin' MAULS him with a True Western Lariat and that Giant Dropkick he does to set up the totally hurty RUNNING! FUCKING! FUCKING! FUCKING! for the pin. Yellow Pants is growing on me. Ricky Marvin is fucking awesome. My slathering love of the other too is well documented and unchanged by this display.

^&^&^&^&^&^&^& Shuji Kondo/"brother" YASSHI vs Jado/ Gedo- Wrestle Land  12/08/06- [DEAN RASMUSSEN]- If the mysterious The Z uploads the rest of the Wrestling From the Scenic Wrestle Land from 12/6, I shall review it also.  Till then- THIS! Pre-match, "Brother" talks smack to the somehow EMACIATED Jado and Gedo. Did they cycle down to their natural fighting weight of 108 pounds?  Did Shuji Kondo steal all their steroids AND Hardee's thickburgers?  Jado chops early and Gedo kicks early on Yasshi and Kondo tags in and does a chinlock for a while.  The crowd is like three times bigger than their last Wrestle Land taping it looks like.  I guess they started using the first hour of New Japan Nitro to tape the syndicated stuff.  Yasshi grabs Gedo's wedding tackle and SQUEEZES to TRANSITION! Jado claps on the apron to get the Orlando crowd into Gedo's comeback as Kondo methodically works him over.  Kondo's AVALANCHE into the corner goes AWRY and Gedo dropkicks the Kondo Knee to make the hot tag and Jado hits German's like Lex luger would have hit really shitty clotheslines in the same house on fire mode.  Kondo cuts him off and hits his avalanche and Yasshi hits his jumping assisted Groin To the Face to go smoothly into their aping of every Sugar Sato/Chikayo Nagashima double team move.  Kondo misses a Spear or something and Gedo and Jado do a lot of clotheslines and Gedo hits his Superfly Splash to rid us of Yasshi to lead up to Jado to procure the Crippler Crossface on Kondo.  Yasshi makes the save but Jado says fuck it and Crossfaces Yasshi Cripplerly and then Crossfaces Kondo again and then he Germans the FUCK out of the ref and that heated up nicely.  Jado as crazy motherfucker might be a good move.

&*&*&*&*&*&*&*& Diasuke Sekimoto vs Mammoth Sasaki- APACHE PRO- 8/28/2006- [DEAN RASMUSSEN]: My love for Mammoth is preposterous. But my love for YOU is preposterous also so why are you complaining? This is from Gran Apache's Apache Pro which is the greatest concept for sleazy indie greatness in my mind that will never live up to what I want on my TV screen. (Okay, maybe Gran Apache has nothing to do with this.) But it is a new dawn rising so let's see what these two can do. For me. Now. They shoulderblock to a stalemate and then Roman Knucklelock to a Sekimoto bridge into a headlock into a running the ropes to Mammoth doing a fabulous bump through the ropes to the floor after get dropkicked to the knee. Mammoth hits a sweet DDT on the floor and is AWESOME with the lariat off the apron to the floor. Mammoth brawl his ass off. Sekimoto throws Mammoth all wrong on his shoulder onto some chairs on the floor and Mammoth sells like he was thrown all wrong on his shoulder onto some chairs on the floor. Mammoth is filled with fighting spirit and chops to offense ALMOST but Mammoth sells an assbeating well and succumbs to Sekimoto's chops and his frogsplash. And Powerbomb. Mammoth hops up a bit too fast from the powerbomb and hits a powerbomb as shoulderbreaking as Sekimoto's German on the floor. They then headbutt the fuck out of each other and I dig it. Mammoth takes two Germans for two but gets in a big boot to Lariat the front and then lariat the back to set-up his BRAINBUSTER and this is the finest Nitro match this month. Mammoth does the 90s All Japan One Last Lariat Before I Sell your Lariat and the crowd gets amped to Sekimoto's German for two. Mammoth Enzuguiris to set-up a SWEET powerbomb and can't make the cover fast enough after a beautiful Brainbuster. Mammoth hits another beautiful Brainbuster and gets the pin. Pretty minor match and it was basically a series of finishers and two counts which I would usually heap derision upon, but it's Mammoth and his flair and style and complete nastiness makes any match better than it's weaknesses. Plus, Mammoth puts little nodules of selling in his no-selling; he puts enough time in waiting for a cover to give you reason to not get immediately annoyed at the kick out. Mammoth rules.

%^%^%^%^%^%%^%^%^%^%^%^% YOSHIHITO SASAKI/ DIASUKE SEKIMOTO vs MAMMOTH SASAKI/ SHADOW WX- Big Japan Pro Wrestling- 12/3/2006- [DEAN RASMUSSEN]: Goddamn, Shadow WX IS a sexy motherfucker now. It's weird. I could see him mounting a smooth skinned El Dorado trainee for a Yakuza fetish porn video at some point. (Not that I would enjoy it. You know. Unless the trainee was really into it. Even then...) He is tagging with Mammoth Sasaki who I could see fucking Dump Matsumoto in August-December Mutual Respect Of Artistic Merit type of relationship- like Georgia O'Keefe had with that 30 something young sculptor guy she was plying with her leathery, wrinkly love in the desert when she was in her 70s and comically denying that her flower paintings were all about the pussy. Though I would fuck Dump Matsumoto and 2/4ths of the participants in this match before sticking my dick into the 70 year old Georgia o'Keefe's highbrow cooch. O'Keefe had those cool skull paintings but Dump Matsumoto carved up the Crush gals AS THEY WERE SINGING IN FRONT OF SCHOOL GIRLS. And Shadow WX set his shirt on fire while trying to throw a flaming lariat. So yeah, if you are going to fuck an artist out of respect for her body of work, you have to remember that Professional Wrestling is an art. Yoshihito I've seen a couple times but my Zero-ONE MAX veiwing is pretty delinquent so bear with my idocy and obviousness (You've doing it for over ten years now, so what's the problem now?) They do lots of running of the ropes early and Sekimoto does the Flash Tope that I love and kills Shadow. Sekimoto and Mammoth trade powermoves- as they are the Kanemura/Masato Tanaka of the Mid 2000s so they already have a large menu of things to bring to the match. Sekimoto kills Mammoth with a toprope brainbuster and some lariats to set up Duelling One Count Powerbombs. Which is annoying. Mammoth takes a TRULY hideous German and does his ~I Lariat You Before I Sell~ spot and I allow Mammoth to get away with it. Shadow and Yoshihito trade lariats and suplexes. Yoshihito and Sekimoto do Stereo Argentine Backbreakers and decide to beat the hell out of Shadow- what with ABB into a Facebuster Into a Frogsplash. Mammoth tags in and he and Sekimoto go back to their endless match with Mammoth hitting fucking AWWWESOME powerbombs. They do goofy spots with chairs and Sekimoto ducks the goofy pay-off of them crushing his skull with chairs and Shadow WX and Sekimoto do wads of lariats and Sekimoto hits an off-hand German for the pin and you wonder when Big Japan jumped on the little, syndie match trend that has swept the inmperial island of Japan.  I wonder if they will ever heat up Mammoth vs Sekimoto to the point that it would actually be as awe-inspiring as it hints at.  Only time will tell.
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NEXT TIME! MORE PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING REVIEWZ~!  A regular schedule!  For a few months at least!
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8 FISTS IN THE FACE OF WRESTLING.
THE DEATH VALLEY PLAYAZ