NXT RETRO WORKRATE REPORT – January 30, 2013
(by PHIL RIPPA)
Okay – just for the record for those too lazy to look but are anal like me (not that kinda anal you pervs), the brackets for the tag title tournament is (since they finally showed a graphic this week).
Wyatts vs. Percy/Yoshi (Wyatts already advanced)
Bo Dallas/McGillicutty vs. The Colons
Alex Riley/Derrick Bateman vs. Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno
3MB vs. Neville/Grey (Neville & Grey already advanced)
The Riley/Bateman vs. Kruger/Ohno match was not perfect but there was enough going for it that I liked it. It’s good that Bateman is now Ethan Carter because it means he cut that stupid hair. Anyway – I really liked all the different ways Kruger and Ohno worked over both of Bateman’s knees and Regal explained why the different ways were awesome. Plus, Riley was barely in the way despite being the worst firey babyface ever.
The other great thing about, well any Ohno match are the teases for Ohno vs. Regal. This show had Ohno standing on the ring apron just staring at Regal and every once in awhile he would just yell “WHY AREN’T YOU LOOKING AT ME???” So very happy.
It is knee-slapping funny listening to the crowd shoot their collective wads when Aksana comes out. And then it turns out she is wrestling Paige and there might not be any kittens left in the country. It really is amazing the reception she gets and then you think about how she will never get called up. Maybe she can start fucking one of the Real Americans and get on a future season of Total Divas. Anyway – this match is far more entertaining that I thought it would be. Plus, it has the random angle where Summer Rae snaps and attacks Paige. (BTW another example of where the heel does nothing wrong, the face acts irrationally and yet we are supposed to be all pro-face.)
Since we are on the masturbation topic. Rosa is with the Colons this week and she spends the entire time shaking her T and A. I don’t think anyone watching was complaining.
I am a sap so I really enjoyed the little Royal Rumble Fan Fest recap they showed. It also got me thinking that if the WWE wanted a license to print money – they would release those panels they did during the Rumble and Mania Fan Fests on DVD.
There is a dude in the crowd with a Mark Henry “Hall of Pain” shirt. This might be the best crowd yet.
Jesus Christ – the chicken wing DDT thing that Epico used was crazy.
Great – Alex Riley and Corey Graves are going to have a match next week. Maybe it can be a hideous tattoo on a pole match.
Come to the states they said. Improve your wrestling they said. I don’t think having to try and make Mason Ryan look good is what Sakamoto had in mind when he hooked up with the WWE.
For the Best of Raw/Smackdown DVD – the thing they are featuring is the Rock playing the guitar. That might tell you everything about the WWE’s 2012 that you need to know.
I should be happy that I will get to see Xavier Woods wrestle next week but the segment this week sucked. And no it’s not because they are doing a guy stuck in the 90s gimmick that is depressing to me as all fuck. If you just sat through Tony Dawson singing Bell Biv DeVoe – you would hate this segment too.
I freely admit that I probably should have liked the Colons vs. Bo Dallas and Michael McGillicutty more than I did but it was long and pedestrian and I spent half the time going “Man – I watched way too many match of all your Dad’s matches.” And then Dallas kicked out of the crazy ass chicken wing DDT which he had no business doing. Plus when you actually see the brackets and know the faces have to go over AND that every single “name” team has lost in this tournament. Meh.