205 LIVE RETRO WORKRATE REPORT
EPISODE #2 (12/06/16)
(by PHIL RIPPA)
Still getting my sea legs with these things so bear with me. Also remember that I am not over as a writer.
+ Again… viewing this in a vacuum… the recap of Rich Swann’s title win was really well done even if the crowd reaction shots were overdone.
+ Also, I am giving myself credit for at no point in two weeks making a cheap joke about Swann dedicating his win to his Momma. Oh wait…
+ HA! I totally forgot about Alicia Fox – crazy girlfriend. I am way too excited for this.
+ The folks bitching about Shinsuke Nakamura and Asuka cutting promos clearly never saw/heard Noam Dar. But damn if “Alicia FOOOOOOOXXXXXXX” doesn’t get a chuckle out of me everytime.
+ There were enough little things done in the Dar/Cedric Alexander match to get it up here. It is much more ground based than most people will like but if Dar is gonna keep doing things like making sure he removed Alexander’s elbow pad by driving his knuckles into the elbow, I am gonna take back a lot of mean things I have said about Dar.
+ I only just realized that, presumably because this is on the Network, there are no commercial breaks. That is a big win for the actual match presentation.
+ My wife upon seeing Jack Gallagher for the first time “Is he painted white?”
+ It really fucking sucks that TJ Perkins amazing intro is wasted on TJ Perkins.
WHAT DIDN’T WORK
– The 2nd show and we are already running rematches. Heck – Daivari and Gallagher wrestle on TV for the third time in a week. There were like a baker’s dozen of dudes on the stage last week. I am sure some of them would like to get some screen time. Poor poor no longer Mascara Dorada.
– Noam Dar’s trucks say “No Role Models”. Sure…
– Okay – Dar blatantly slamming the mat when he is supposed to be throwing strikes means I am already taking back the nice things I said about him. (To be fair, it is really production’s fault but that ruins my joke.)
– This crowd can eat all the bag of dicks in the world.
– Mustafa Ali is a heel on these opening shows. Totally didn’t remember that. Not sure why they felt the need to have two heels playing up their Middle Eastern backgrounds but Vince is gonna Vince. Let us all just accept that since they aren’t teaming with each other that is progressive for Vince.
– Speaking of heels with Middle Eastern backgrounds – the Daivari/Gallagher match this week is nowhere near as good as last week. This is mainly due to the entire match being Daivari working over Gallagher’s knee just so he can win with a Frog Splash.
– This week in announcer notes: Aries is over the top dick heel, Corey Graves is your Hot Topic cashier and Mauro Ranallo is your Dad who reads Buzzfeed because he thinks that will allow him to relate to the kids.
– The Swann/Kendrick rematch was technically good enough to be on the other side but really it was a vehicle to allow Perkins to make the announcing even worse by telling us how evil Net Neutrality is. GET RID OF IT! END CYBER BULLYING! THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH ARE LITERAL BECAUSE THE EARTH IS FLAT! Plus he is getting injected into the Swann/Kendrick feud and winners are not we.
MATCHES ON THE SHOW
Noam Dar vs. Cedric Alexander
Ariya Davairi vs. Jack Gallagher
Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick