Impact Wrestling Spoilers for 8/25/22 - Chicago, IL

[DreamBroken]

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*Taped for BTI: Bullet Club (Ace Austin & Hikuleo) def. Johnny Swinger & Zicky Dice (7:46) when Ace pinned Zicky after The Fold

Impact Wrestling - Airing August 25, 2022 from Chicago, IL

*VXT (Deonna Purrazzo & Chelsea Green)(c) def. Jordynne Grace & Mia Yim (7:30) to retain the knockouts tag team championships when Deonna pinned Jordynne after The Due Collector double pendulum.

*Karl Anderson def. Mike Bennett (w/ Maria Kanellis) (11:06) with the Gun Stun after Gallows prevented Matt Taven from interfering. As a result, Maria will be banned from next week's tag title match.

*Bhupinder Gujjar def. Jason Hotch (2:19) after the Gargoyle Spear. Brian Myers did commentary and after the match, he confronted Gujjar. Myers offers Gujjar a rematch for the Digital Media Championship right now then cheap shots him and orders the ref to start it. Gujjar hit Myers back and scored an unofficial three count, then left with the Digital Media Championship though he was not the new champion.

*Josh Alexander def. Vincent (3:49) after the C4 Spike in a non-title match. After the match, Eddie Edwards talks up him vs Josh at Bound for Glory. Eddie tries to sell Josh on them working together until then. Heath attacks Eddie from behind before Josh can respond.

*JessicKa (w/ Rosemary) def. Alisha Edwards (1:59) after a fire thunder driver.

*Tom Hannifan and Matthew Rehwoldt hype up next week's Impact. They announce Mickie James will return to address her future, The Good Brothers will defend against Bennett & Taven with Maria banned from ringside, and Masha vs. Deonna in a knockouts #1 contenders match. They are interrupted by Sami Callihan, having been beaten in the back and wrapped in barbed wire. Callihan challenges Moose & Steve Maclin to Barbed Wire Massacre at Victory Road next month

*Time Machine (Chris Sabin, Alex Shelley, & Kushida) def. Violent by Design (Eric Young, Deaner, & Joe Doering) (19:45) when Sabin pinned Deaner with the Cradle Shock

 

Edited August 26, 2022 by DreamBroken

[DEAN]

Zicky Dice and Johnny Swinger are on a jobbing ROLL!  Will Hikuleo hit his awesome powerslam?  One will have to see.

 

[DEAN]

I'm going to try to watch IMPACT! and New Japan in realish time so I can finish watching TV wrestling by 11:00!  I'm GOING FOR IT!  VXT is/are an exciting tagteam.  Deonna Purrazzo brings the hard-edge wrestling, while Chelsea Green brings the CHEATING!  I assume Jordynne Grace and Mia Yim will fuck up somehow.  IT'S FUN!  Man, Mia Yim is fucking GREAT.  They should loan her to AEW and give her one of the belts.  Yim sells an ass beating early and makes the hot tag after Purrazzo does a Psicosis Bump through the ropes to the ringpost.  Grace and Purrazzo are all hard edged in the ring together.  Everybody flies off the top!  Chelsea hits Buff Blockbuster!  She's Buff, She's the Stuff, the ladies can't get enough!  Something happened to Yim on a double tope con hilo.  VXT's finisher is totally awesome!  That was good.  Jordynne Grace is looking better since becoming champion.  Mike Bennett takes on Karl Anderson!  Will Anderson half ass it?  We'll see!  I assume Bennett loses this to keep Maria Kanellis-Bennett from ringside for the tagmatch- a stipulation that kind of tips your booking hand.  House Show Karl Anderson is even more vanilla than he usually is.  They fuck around a bit.  Good nearfall by Bennett by hitting a nice forearm and SUPERKICK!  Taven comes out CHEAT TO WIN while Maria distracts the ref by yelling on the apron.  LG comes out and chokeslams Taven and Anderson wins somehow.  Killer Kelly chokes out Tasha Steelz!  It's the debut of Jason Hotch!  He gets to get slaughtered by the Konosuke Takeshita of IMPACT!, Bhupinder Gujjar!  Gujjar looks great in this.  Hotch looked good.  GARGOYLE SPEAR~!  Bryan Meyers assaults IMPACT! Lardboy and Gujjar hits the Gargoyle Spear and walks off with the Digital Media championship!  WHOA!  Masha Slamovich versus Deonna Purrazzo for a shot at the belt next week!  That'll be good.  Vincent gets to get murdered by Josh Alexander!   And.... he waits to murder him by transitioning from a C-4 into an ankle lock.  Alexander then TOTALLY murders him with a Falcon Arrow into a C-4 Piledriver.  Man, that's a NASTY Piledriver.  Sooo FUCKING GREAT.  Eddie Edwards gets ON THE STICK~!  He kind of goes on a bit about standing against the MACHINE!  He rages against the MACHINE and wants Josh Alexander to join him!  HEATH comes out and stops Edwards from quoting Pearl Jam lyrics.  Moose and Maclin are attacked by Sami Callihan and Maclin is the Jon Moxley of IMPACT!- as he will blade at any and every opportunity!  THUS!  STEVE MACLIN RULES!  Our Masha Slamovich video package is awesome.  Alisha Edwards takes on JesSICKa!  JEsSICKa is the Willow Nightingale of IMPACT! and I dig it.  I assume she will be the one to eventually beat Masha Slamovich.  Alisha is the Secret Super Worker of the KnockOuts division.  JesSICKa's K-DRILLER is fucking SICK!  That was a fabulous squash!  I love this version of Havok.  TIME MACHINE!  YAAY!  Violent By Design!  Are very good.  I ASSUME that Cody Deaner taps out to KUCHIDA's Hoverboard.  Or maybe Alex Shelley's Border City Stretch.  Or maybe he taps to Chris Sabin's... I don't think Sabin has a submission.  I never noticed that.  So Deaner will succumb to the effects of the Cradle Shock!  Joe Doering will lumber and Eric Young will do a cool Piledriver, prolly.  I am in real time so I am SUFFERING through commercials.  SUFFERING!  Doering lumbers early, knock over KUSHIDA and tags out.  Man, all I can think about is the MCMGs getting beaten to death by FTR.  Not to mention fucking WARDLOW.  Time Machine are waaaaay too much fun.  Fuck, replace the Best Friends or the Dark Order with them in the Trios tournament.  Eric Young is a WRESTLING MACHINE?  Yeah, fuck it.  He is.   Our heels are beating the shit out of our babyface, Chris Sabin.  Doering lumbers around and drops a BEAUTIFUL Elbow Drop.  Very classic.  Eric Young, Wrestling Machine, hits a nice Vertical Suplex and chokes Sabin with his boot!  KUSHIDA is our house a-fire and he is SPUNKY!  I love how Commentator Tom divides up Time Machine into Timesplitter and MCMG sections and they put it all together at the end.  They hit an elaborate highspot train and Sabin takes Deaner to his DESTINY! But Eric Young saves him and HITS THE FUCKING GREATEST DEATH VALLEY DRIVER SINCE DIASUKE IKEDA SLAUGHTERS YUKI ISHIKAWA IN BattlARTS!  Total Wrestling Machine. Eric Young hits a fucking BEAUTIFUL Toprope Elbow drop.  Deaner tags in we all wonder if he will.  Doering comes in and saves him!  For a second!  Then Deaner succumbs... to the Cradle Shock!  That was fun.  TIME MACHINE!   That was great.  I have discovered the true awesomeness of Eric Young.  IMPACT! is GOOD WRESTLING!  

[DreamBroken]

Another night of wrestling with a super fun trios main event! That was a blast. VXT is an absolutely fantastic team, loving their work together and separately. Hyped for Deonna/Masha, two of my favorites, I just hope that's the one match that won't be a total squash for Masha cause Deonna should always always be a threat. Mostly squashes in the middle with some solid build to the upcoming events. Sami/Moose/Maclin barbed wire massacre will rule. 

[Jamal]

Great tag opener with Jordyn and Mia vs VXT. I'm curious about Masha/Deonna, which should also be great.

Edited August 26, 2022 by Jamal

[DEAN]

JesSICKa's K-DRILLER!