Dolfan Watches Every Wrestlemania On Lockdown

[Brian Fowler]

I remember in the Discord we did, people were saying Sasha had "boo boo face" coming out, and I continued my never-ending streak of legit not seeing anything different in her entrance when people claim that, only to them see Bayley come out looking like she was just diagnosed with "cancer of the puppy" to steal a line.

I don't remember anything about the match. I didn't even remember it was the Iiconics that won.

[John from Cincinnati]

In February 2021, where we all kind of realize Billie Kay is the only good wrestler, that result looks fantastic in hindsight.

Edited February 2, 2021 by Andy in Kansas

[BobbyWhioux]

4 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

 Nia Jax and Tamina (The Micronesia Maulers?)

Samoan THOT Team
 

2 hours ago, Brian Fowler said:

I remember in the Discord we did, people were saying Sasha had "boo boo face" coming out, and I continued my never-ending streak of legit not seeing anything different in her entrance when people claim that, only to them see Bayley come out looking like she was just diagnosed with "cancer of the puppy" to steal a line.

 

even the wacky inflatable buddies [R.I.P.] had boo-boo face that night IIRC

glad to see Dolfan finally get to my last Favorite Wrestlemania Match and illustrate why.  IIconics at the height of their cunning shitweasel powers, and not only did they win but Billie actually scored the winning fall, which would sadly prove to be rare enough to be noteworthy in and of itself. 



lookit dem tears of joy.  We Create Moments, Pal, Indeed

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 117

It's really great when the WWE has spent months slowly building a feud. Carefully planning out things left and right, leading to a showdown at the biggest stage they have.  Sometimes, however, they don't have that luxury and just put two of the most talented people they have on their roster and magic happens.  

Daniel Bryan returned from retirement and began talking about how everything he'd done to get back had given him a new perspective on life.  One that showed him how much better he was than any of us. The New Daniel Bryan, as he became known, was a fantastic little mix of an ungodly charisma and an unearthly amount of in-ring talent. 

I had a friend who doesn't watch wrestling but is a huge hockey guy who was over while I was watching wrestling and started wondering "Why is the Yes guy saying all these horrible things? It's pissing me off."  That's the level of performer Daniel Bryan is.  He can bend anyone to his will just by talking.  The fact that he's an all-world level in-ring talent only makes it better.  

He eventually won the WWE Championship and re-fashioned it with an absolutely amazing hemp and wood belt, which he wears to the ring. 

His opponent really could have been anyone.  But at some point, and I don't remember the exact impetus of this, but people realized that Kofi Kingston had been in WWE forever and had never received a one on one opportunity for the WWE Championship. When he replaced an injured Mustafa Ali at Elimination Chamber people thought... "Maybe?"  But then he actually won, and the crowd thought was, "Good for him, but he won't win at WrestleMania." 

They actually had a pretty nice build for the month or so they had.  Including, in a move of delicious irony, Daniel Bryan dropping the line of the year, when he called Kofi Kingston a "B+ player."   What a dick.  

Daniel comes out first with his fellow eco-warrior Erick Rowan (wearing a sweet George Romero tribute shirt).  And Kofi follows with the New Day and an absolutely incredible pop.  

Now after all that hype, I'll say, I was hoping that all of this wasn't for naught.  I really worried that someone would botch something or the match would suck or something.  Well, I can confirm on this re-watch, I had nothing to worry about.  The match was excellent. 

Daniel Bryan plays SUCH a great arrogant heel.  Not a prototypical WWE "arrogant" heel either, who'd break at the first sign of a real challenge. This heel knows he's good, and will also show how good he is because challenging him is a very bad idea and he knows it.  He's sonning Kofi left and right and all but reminding him he's a multiple time world champion and Kofi hasn't done shit outside of the tag division.  Kofi is visibly frustrated but is doing his best to keep up.  

Eventually Kofi eases more into the match, and Daniel realizes he's got a legit fight on his hands.  They fight over the submissions with Kofi just barely getting out of two Labell Locks (formerly the Yes Lock).  Kofi eventually gets mixed up with Rowan on the outside bringing in the New Day to fight off that threat.  

Daniel's getting beat up in the ring and eventually snatches Kofi into a third Labell lock.  He realizes he's in deep trouble when a Knee Plus only gets him two.  The crowd goes crazy there because if Bryan was going to win, his super finisher was going to do it.  They realize what's about to happen...  and sure enough.  

BANG.  Trouble in Paradise!  

1, 2, and for the first time in WWE history, an African-born man has won the WWE Championship at WrestleMania.  And it suddenly hit me.  

I realize now what was so great about this match: Unity.  

The WWE crowd at WrestleMania is a mish mosh of kids, smart fans, and casual fans.  They never agree on who to cheer for, who to boo, or what angles they'll respond to.  But this was different.  

When Kofi Kingston held up the WWE Championship. It was the accomplishment of not just finishing the rivalry they'd built, not just the culmination of a decade plus of hard work, and not just the overcoming of barriers based on race in one of the most notorious industries out there.  It was the accomplishment of bringing 80,000+ people together to cheer one man, completing one singular accomplishment, on one night when anything.... ANYTHING was possible.  

It was perfect. 

[NikoBaltimore]

I saw the end of the match when it happened but had the sound mostly down due to being at a friend's house.  Which looking back if I sensed Kofi would win it I should have either watched it at a bar or done something else.  But what really got me was the reactions not just at the stadium but also the ones that hit social media.  There was truly something special about that win that makes it very special.

Side note:  On New Day's podcast they said they had a big ol' elaborate entrance they were going to do for Kofi.  It got enough clearance where Mega Ran had the song ready to go and they were putting things together.  But apparently a week or so before the show that got scrapped and it was just the regular entrance.  I would have liked to have seen that but it still doesn't take anything away from the match.

[Dolfan in NYC]

Samoa Joe destroys Rey Mysterio in 60 seconds lol

End of Day 117

[Log]

5 hours ago, L_W_P said:

Think of how different the WWE landscape would be if;

A: Bryan stayed fired after the Justin Roberts choking incident

or

B: Bryan never choked Roberts & was part of The Nexus all the way through their destruction.

Sliding doors and what ifs in spades right there!

'A' is a mixed bag.  On the one hand, you get Bryan on the indies doing his thing and he maybe ends up in AEW.  On the other hand, he maybe ends up crippled or worse because he never has to tone down his style.

'B' is interesting.  His 'firing' wasn't a Drew McIntyre thing where he goes away and raises his stock.  When he came back, it wasn't like they got behind him right away.  I kind of feel like he still ends up where he is now in that scenario.

[BobbyWhioux]

I still miss the Weed Belt

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 118

I'll make an admission. For a second, I *did* entertain the thought, do you suppose he maybe faked cancer?  It's something so sleazy and awful, that I could absolutely believe 10 years from now something will come up and they'll have to admit it was just a storyline.  But, that's one of those things that as a wrestling fan, you just learn to bury away your skepticism every once in a while.  But, yes, I choose to believe that Joe Anoa'i had a return of leukemia and that he was legitimately fighting for his life. And in that vein, I also hate the skeptical/cynical part of me that occasionally doubts. 

The return of Roman Reigns and his announcement of the remission of his cancer left the WWE with a very nice problem to have.  Who'd get to challenge their ace at WrestleMania.  And as I write this, it really dawns on me, this match is what happens when a baseball pitcher comes back from a severe injury.  He gets sent to AA to face ace prospects to see where he is and what he can do post-injury.  (This also serves as a guide to the team to see if the prospect can hang with the big boys.) 

So, the ace prospect in question is the returning Drew McIntyre. The guy who used to be a comedy jobber has found a new strain of HGH dedication to his workouts and is now super intense about everything. He'd turn face later in 2019 when he learned to be a dickhead to everyone, but that's later.   Today he's challenging Roman because... *checks notes* because he had cancer.  Sure, whatever.  

But yeah, this was absolutely a rehab start because he's just walking through his pitches (Drive By, Superman Punch, Spear, etc.). Drew's dutifully following along hitting and striking out.  Not a soul in the stadium felt Drew had a shot in hell of winning.  And after ten boring minutes, the main eventers of WrestleMania 37 finish up with Reigns spearing the fuck out of Drew.   

The crowd's reaction is "polite applause".  Roman proved he was fine and Drew would eventually get to move up the card permanently.  So good for everyone... except for me having to sit through this. 

[Dolfan in NYC]

I originally wrote up Demon Balor vs. Bobby Lashley here, because I was drunk and tired after the Super Bowl and skipped ahead about three matches.  

As your reward for my stupidity, please enjoy this affirmation gif: 

 

[Shartnado]

Neither here nor there, but Samoa Joe defended the NXT title successfully over Demon Balor at a Takeover, some time before Finn moved over to the main roster and subsequently missed a bunch of time with the shoulder injury.

[Eivion]

2 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure Balor is undefeated as the Demon in NXT and WWE. Not sure about his record in the indies or Japan, but I mainly because I don't remember if he was demon'ed up when he lost his final NJPW match and had the Bullet Club turn on him.  

 

Pretty sure Demon Baolr lost to the Fiend. Also the whole Demon Balor thing is a dumb WWE change. Before the painr was just something Balor took up for the occasional big match. It wasn't meat to be a personality/character change.

[Shartnado]

31 minutes ago, Eivion said:

Pretty sure Demon Baolr lost to the Fiend. Also the whole Demon Balor thing is a dumb WWE change. Before the painr was just something Balor took up for the occasional big match. It wasn't meat to be a personality/character change.

Well, The Fiend did squash paintless Balor at a SummerSlam, but I'm not sure if Finn ever faced The Fiend as The Demon (King). If he did, it didn't happen on a PPV.

[Spontaneous]

I thought the closest match was at,  I think Battleground? It was supposed to be Demon Balor vs Sister Abigail but Bray was sick so AJ replaced him. Balor looked like a pumpkin in the original match graphic. 

[Dolfan in NYC]

Oh, damn it.  I knew I'd skipped ahead.  Lemme go back.  

Elias is an odd talent.  He's decent enough in the ring, though he's never really floated my boat.  He's actually got legitimate musical talent - shown by the fact that he made a whole ass album during his injury time off.  And that's the thing... he's always injured. Like it's all but a liability.  You can't build any kind of program around him because he'll be off within 6 weeks.  

So in 2019, they scheduled him for a WrestleMania concert.  

He performs, I'm impressed he can play the piano, drums, and guitar.  Some production work has obviously gone into this so it's not a total loss of a segment... until...

John Cena comes out - now in full Legend Buries New Talent mode!  He's got a throwback jersey on, Babe Ruth's Yankees jersey.  In a nice touch, I'll note the jersey has no name on the back, which is how you can instantly spot a fake Yankees jersey. 

"The name on the back is not more important than the name on the front."  

You know, for a justification from the Yankees, that ranks up there in terms of sheer arrogance.  I think that's why I actually like that reasoning. The sheer haughty New York-ness of that answer is perfect. 

Anyway.... 

Cena FU's Elias after carefully walking the line of homophobic raps his Thuganomics character used to do.  Yeah, he's a millionaire movie star now. He's not about to jeopardize that shit for Vince.  

This was something like 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back.   

End of Day 118. 

[PetrolCB]

1 hour ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

In a nice touch, I'll note the jersey has no name on the back, which is how you can instantly spot a fake Yankees jersey. 

Actually, real jerseys don't have the name on the back. The fake ones have them.

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 119

"...Except beat me."  

All the ridiculous build up for this match was all for nothing.  It was complete with just those three words. Of course, the build up gave us the "Give me what I want" meme and other wonderful Batista moments.  Because Dave fucking crushes everything.  He's so incredibly good at this, even after beating the ever loving piss out of Ric Flair, after being a melodramatic asshole to Hunter for months, he literally could have turned face with a 60 second promo.  

HHH puts his in-ring career on the line against the deadly scourge of Hollywood Batista here.   And he should be super duper happy because putting his career on the line means... *gasp* this match has epic implications! And, of course, he Hunter's it all up anyway.  

Dave comes out to the ring to a mix of boos and cheers.  I'm sure the people cheering knew this was one of, if not the, last chance to do so. 

Lemmy begins the riff, and I begin to sprint.  (My last one! ) I should note, there's some PS2 level graphics purporting to be a Mad Max style entrance, because Vince finally saw Fury Road, a mere 4 years after its release.  Dave has a weird look on his face that's somewhere between "Okay?" and "mortified."  Hunter comes out on the back of a dune buggy?  (Doom Buggy?  (No, that's the name of the cars in Disney's Haunted Mansion.  (Though, frankly, they're scarier and more intimidating than what he's coming out on.  (Oh god, how many parenthetical thoughts are you in?  (Leonardo DiCaprio?  Is that you?)))))

Oh, right.  There's an actual match. 

This odd duck of a match is really struggling to tell a story.  Batista tries to put away HHH early, and HHH all but instantly goes to weaponry.  Including a gross spot where he "rips out Batista's nosering."  The problem is, once that spot happens, it's like they forgot to fill in the next 20 minutes and just decided to wing it from there. 

Dave goes on an extended heat segment.  The main issue is Dave hasn't been in a serious match in years at this point, and he's noticeably rusty. The crowd basically has to settle in because it's just going to be a drawn out series of events with no coherent throughline.  And lord, does this get boring at this point.  

They're just going back and forth, hitting their stuff and the whole thing is going nowhere.  Like, you know this is an issue when even the plunder and foreign object shots aren't helping.  I think the issue may have been the stipulation.  See if it's just HHH's career on the line, you're going to lose drama because I think the majority of us believe HHH is a lifer and will probably be doing matches well into the 2040's.  If you put Dave's career on the line, it's a little better, since he's Hollywood now, but it'd be expected for him to lose that.  If you put both on the line... well that's a little better.  

Anyway, Ric Flair comes out to distract Batista and blatantly cheat on Hunter's behalf.  It's so egregious, the crowd actually reacts neutrally-negatively to him.  HHH sledgehammers and pedigrees Batista to keep his career going.  

This was clearly supposed to be a big epic reunion and triumph for Hunter, but they oddly missed the mark.  I'm really at a loss as to what could have been done to help out here.  But Dave, from my understanding, very much requested this ending to his in-ring career, and was satisfied with the result.  

So, it's a shame Batista's excellent career ended with a dud, but such is life.  

And since this match and the damned build up and end and everything took about 40 minutes total, I'm cutting this one off here.  Such is life. 

End of Day 119

[Curt McGirt]

3 hours ago, Dolfan in NYC said:

the "Give me what I want" meme

Had to watch that again. It's still funny.

That's a lot of spittle.

[Dolfan in NYC]

DAY 120

It's Kurt Angle's time to call it a career. Not really sure if the reported originally planned match was supposed to be against Cena or not, but Baron Corbin gets the ball here.  I mean, at least they'd built that story up for a long time.  

For what it's worth, Corbin is exceptionally good at getting people to boo him. I have zero idea if he'd ever be good as a babyface, but he almost seems like the Anti-Sami Zayn, where you'll just never know if he can do the role until you see it.  (Then you realize he was better in this role than he ever was before.)  Though, like I've said, I'm higher on Corbin than most... but yeah, this match is the pits. 

Full-speed Angle would have obliterated Corbin.  And I'm guessing that's what the story is, because Angle is barely at half speed. And Baron, for once in his life, is actually faster than someone. 

Just having seen where Angle was before painkillers wrecked him (vs. HBK) to where he is now (getting beaten up by Corbin) is just... depressing I guess is the best way of putting it.  Like this wasn't even Angle putting Corbin over (Corbin End of Days'ed Angle for the pin).  This was just a young guy beating up an old man. At least it was quick.  

After the pinfall, Angle gives this thanks to the crowd. 

[Dolfan in NYC]

(I'm reposting this in the order of the show) 

Bobby Lashley is one of the guys who should never ever be a face. He excels at being an arrogant dickhead and just becomes incredibly...  and I'm aware of the irony of this statement... white bread.  He's just so boring as "less intense Brock."  

Anyway, he and his mouthpiece Lio Rush have talked themselves from a feud with Finn Balor, to a feud with The Demon.  It's too late and I'm too tired to look it up for sure, but I believe this is the last appearance of the Demon version of Balor in WWE.  Which frankly is fine.  There was a moment in 2017 when Vince was starting to turn to the Demon a little too much and we almost had a Demon vs. Sister Abagail match... and yikes, no.  

The match is a very quick affair, with Balor's Demon entrance lasting nearly as long as the match itself.   Actually, I was thinking, an incredible way to have the Demon come in would be to start him from a top corner of the Titantron and climb down it diagonally like a real life version of Spider-man or something.  I'm not even sure how the logistics of it would work, but christ could that be awesome.  

Anyway, Lashley is all but incidental in this match as the entire crowd is expecting him to get annihilated here.  Which frankly, I was too.  But he actually gets to control the middle 50% of the match, which was weird.  But eventually, things just correct themselves and Balor stomps the shit out of Boring Lashley for the win.  

Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure Balor is undefeated as the Demon in NXT and WWE. Not sure about his record in the indies or Japan, but I mainly because I don't remember if he was demon'ed up when he lost his final NJPW match and had the Bullet Club turn on him.  

[Dolfan in NYC]

Alright, I'm on a roll.  Let me just finish this off.  I'm gathering my thoughts about what follows...

Alexa Bliss calls out R Truth to do a dance off.  This segment 100% should have been cut. Especially with a Joan Jett concert AND a helicopter flyover/entrance segment yet to come.

During my time doing this, I have re-watched the revolution of women's wrestling in the WWE.  From the feature match at Wrestlemania 1 to being completely off the show for years and then only being brought back to be tits and ass. Certain years had shining lights beaming through (Jazz/Trish/Lita being the big thing I'd point to), but other years... yikes.  But, from the ground up, they rebuilt the division. Then through landing an all-time talent, turning an injury into a career-defining moment, and the signing of a major outside talent, the women's division has the main event of a WrestleMania for the first time ever. 

I'm gonna go ahead and tell you, this match is loads better on the second watch.  Mania 35 was a 7 1/2 hour long show and the bell on this match didn't ring until after midnight.  The crowd is clearly excited, but also exhausted.  I guarantee you, there were some people in the crowd looking forlornly at their watches knowing they'd be taking the train back into the city.  And frankly, I was falling asleep the first time I saw it because I had work the next day too.  

I'll say, it's interesting to see the story they're going for is... Everyone hates each other.  Works for me!  The first third of the match is extremely high energy and fast paced.  These are the three best workers in the WWE a this point, so they definitely have the skills to run this route.  It's also fun because Rousey is a natural shit-talker, so it's delightful when she tells Charlotte and/or Becky that she hits "like a bitch."  I think it's the same vein that makes me giddy when I hear a woman say "suck my dick".  

The middle third goes with each of the ladies hitting submission holds on the others.  Charlotte grabbing a quick Figure 8. Becky grabbing a Disarm-her. And Ronda scoring a sweet double-armbar (which, of course, means she gets zero leverage on either arm).  They're really hitting the home run they've been set up for.  

The match only goes off the rails a bit when in the final third, Becky brings in a table. The match has been going great without the need for tables and other foreign objects.  As Ronda says "Tables are for bitches."  Bringing in the table simply disrupts the flow of this match.

Looking at the women, they're clearly exhausted by this point.  That's not really on them though.  There's a lot to be said about getting your reps in, in order to become better at what you do.  In this case, I think these three have worked 20+ minutes, maybe 10 times between all of them?   Anyway, Charlotte charges at both Becky and Ronda like an idiot and gets armdragged through the table, sending her out to the floor for the rest of the match.  

Becky and Ronda square off and the crowd is clearly giving their final burst of energy here because there's a legit shot this is going to be it.  Ronda eventually takes control and is ready to hit Piper's Pit for the finish...  but Becky reverse into a crucifix cradle!   (And one or the other over-rotates badly, because Ronda's shoulders are clearly up when the ref starts counting.)   But the 3 is counted, and we have a new unified Women's Champion.  

Corey Graves takes a moment to shit on the match and its finish, because of course he does.  But, botched finish aside, these three women have put on an outstanding main event match at WrestleMania.  This is the crowning achievement for anyone in North American pro wrestling, and on this night, Charlotte, Ronda, and Becky were more than up to the task. 

-- 

For a 7 hour WrestleMania, this absolutely delivered in spades.   The 2nd half is definitely the worse of the two, but it's saved by the Women's triple threat, and the all time great moment of Kofi Kingston becoming a world champion.  This also has matches that are way more fun than they have any right to be in the Iiconics title victory and the Shane/Miz garbage match.   This was a very good show on the re-watch. And remembering the stories of how bad the traffic and mass transit was getting out of the stadium, I can definitely say I'm glad I enjoyed this from my couch.  (and now from my bike)

Next up... life changes. For everyone. 

End of Day 120. 

[Eivion]

That triple threat should have just been Becky/Ronda, but it was a damn good match with the biggest thing hurting it being at the end of a super long show. This is why I really hope they say fuck it and keep Wrestlemania as a two day show. It just works so much damn better for everyone. 

Edited February 9, 2021 by Eivion

[Shartnado]

Not to be a complete Negative Nellie, but it's plain depressing as hell that Dolfan is about to run out of Wrestlemanias to watch before the pandemic has subsided. What's next on the list, every SummerSlam ever?

[Dolfan in NYC]

7 hours ago, Shartnado said:

Not to be a complete Negative Nellie, but it's plain depressing as hell that Dolfan is about to run out of Wrestlemanias to watch before the pandemic has subsided. What's next on the list, every SummerSlam ever?

Don't worry.  Life isn't going back to normal until the late Summer at least.  Maybe there will be a Takeover of this thread NeXT?   

[NikoBaltimore]

I can't say I remember any Takeovers that were stinkers so you'll have fun with even their worst shows.  Plus the early ones are just so freaking good that I might end up re-watching them to follow along.