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2020 DOCUMENTARY THREAD


Dolfan in NYC

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Holy shit. Action Park has always been one of those things that has been endlessly fascinating to me. I even watched the shitty Jackass meets Action Park movie.

I'm watching this tonight.

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The first thing I thought of is "no wonder Steve Albini named the first Shellac album after this place, the sick fuck" and go figure it's unrelated to his shock-value real-life obsessions. Fits, though.

That Facebook/Google doc looks absolutely terrifying.

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I have yet to see Class Action Park because whatever version of HBO I have available to me hasn't put it online yet. I have heard nothing but good things.

The son of the owner just published an awesome book called Action Park: Fun Times, Wild Rides and the Untold Story of America's Most Dangerous Amusement Park. I finished it in three or four days. Really funny and surprisingly touching. 

I don't remember how many times I went to Action Park growing up. It was three or four. That place had such a sketchy reputation that my parents would never take us even though it was about an hour from where I grew up. The first question you asked anyone when they came back from Action Park was "Did you get hurt?" 

I was an altar boy and our summer trip every year was to Action Park. My mom NEVER let me go. One year, the "did you get hurt?" question asked to my friends was "yes." On top of just the general insanity of the place, there was also a major highway that cut the park in two. Thankfully, and disbelievingly, they had a few ways where you did not have to spring across the road. One was via some chintzy little train. Kevin and Dave were on it and the conductor turned around and screamed for them to hop off because it was on fire. Flames emerged from the engine. Kevin rolled his ankle real bad when he hopped off and was on crutches for a week or two after. Dave had bandages on his arms because the metal he had to touch to jump off the train was scorching hot and he had slight burns.

The last time I went before it was closed the first time was to go to.a Warped Tour they had there. They started having concerts there in its dying years. I think they taped a few episodes of Headbanger's Ball. They had some bungee cord thing and I went to the top of the platform and the members of Fishbone were there. I also never went when the insane loop-de-loop waterslide was operational but I did see it in person. It really made no sense as to how anyone thought that thing could work.
 

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Also, they reopened it as Action Park a few summers ago. We went for my brother's bachelor party. Here is my write-up of this day that I posed on Facebook.

1) Within minutes arrival, members of our crew asked for directions to the legendary Tarzan Swings. They were instructed to walk across a series of roped off fences as a shortcut.

2) They no longer have the loop-de-loop waterslide, not even as an artifact. However, they still have some absolutely bonkers rides.
 
2A) We went on something called "High Anxiety." It accurately simulates what it must be like to be flushed down a high-powered toilet that's tilted at a severe angle after being thrown from a dark, enclosed tube.
 
2B) I went on something I believe is called H2WOAAAAH. This is a simple ride. One walks up a 100-foot platform and goes down a waterslide. However, the waterslide is so steep I might as well have just jumped off. It's an unenclosed waterslide, giving the ride user the sensation that they can fall off to the unpaved concrete below at any given second. Once that fear subsides, though, water comes crashing into your nostrils and eyes, giving a fair representation of being waterboarded.
 
2C) The most inspired ride is the Zero G. I did not go on this due to the length of the line/I'm an adult. In this, patrons walk up a 100-foot tower before stepping into a giant pod like the ones in Spinal Tap. There's a simulated rapid heartbeat noise, followed by a countdown. When the countdown ends, a TRAP DOOR sends the person flying straight down about 20-feet before flying into an enclosed tube.
Also: There are dangling, unexposed wires right underneath Zero G.
 
3) "Do you have any neck, back, or heart aliments? Are you an EXPERT swimmer?" These are the questions the ride attendants ask most, but not all, of the time to patrons before they start their ride.
 
3A) One Spanish-speaking woman was confused and said "yes" to the first questions. The teenager ride attendant then berated her and screamed in her face. "SAY NO! JUST SAY NO SO YOU CAN GO DOWN THIS RIDE!"
 
4) The water temperature in all of these rides is roughly 32.5 degrees.
 
5) They still have the Cannonball Plunge. In this ride, guests are shot into blinding darkness as their bodies/skulls crash into fiberglass before emerging into the light and thrown 10-15 feet through the air before landing in frigid, frigid water.
 
5A) This is where we saw a lifeguard rescue. An obese man, who may have lied when answering the "expert swimmer" question, landed in the water and immediately struggled. The lifeguard sighed before going into the water to save him.
 
6) They no longer have the alpine slides that sent people on a go-kart through what looked like a sewer line. Instead, they've been replaced with something more like a one-seat roller coaster where you control the speed. (A hallmark of Action Park is its DIY nature -- we were also told to "wiggle" in order to start the High Anxiety ride.) Some guy went crashing into a woman's back, sending her shoes flying.
 
7) Action Park is best known for its traumatic injuries. However, Action Park is also good at the general inconveniences of nagging injuries. Due to its dumb layout, guests spend at least 25% of their time at Action Park lugging tubes up gigantic hills. This is mostly done barefoot, as most rides require one to go shoeless, on uneven gravel. My personal favorite was the rubber mats used to walk up to one ride. The rubber was designed in such a manner to slightly dig into the soft soles of foot flesh. And, sporadically, jagged rocks would sneak into the slats in the rubber, completely rendering it useless.

8 We did overhear a man threaten to assault his girlfriend on the phone. There was also a man with a tattoo that said "I never sleep because sleep is the cause of death."

Sadly, the glorious return of Action Park did not last. It is now once again something resembling sanity. The reopened version was nowhere near the chaos of the first. But it was still so much more fucked up than Six Flags or any other amusement park I have ever been to.
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That would explain why the documentary featured the Headbangers Ball with Alice in Chains of all people.   In looking on Google this was around 1993 when the original park was near the end.    Funny they have Layne Staley basically explaining how it feels to have a couple gallons of water shoved right up your ass because of the design of one of the slides

They did mention and make a big point of how most of the kids at this park were probably latchkey kids whose parents knew the place was terrible and dangerous but always didn't really follow the kids when they said went out outside.   If you wonder why today's parent are so overprotective, one of the reasons is because they were children of the 80's when as long you didn't die and/or got home before the it was dark outside it was fine. 

It is an incredible documentary and almost stunning to watch.   I mean you know a place was dangerous when the fucking kayak ride which seems to be the safest actually electrocuted and killed a kid once.  While it was intended to a light hearted one, it is clear at the end the main message is that some on things that we really thought were fucked but still cool was actually just fucked up. 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Anyone catch " I Want My MTV" documentary? I caught the ass end of it On A&E of all channels. And it was good, gonna have to rewatch the entire thing on demand.

 

I remember being sucked into the tube watching MTV when it first began, I was mezmorized. Along with wrasslin that eventuality came in TBS at the infamous 6:05 on slot, they also showed it in the morning some occasions. Cable was a brilliant thing, but it also have me guilt when I went to Vacation Bible School in the South, cause the Preacher convinced a innocent kid that he(me) was GOING TO HELL because I listened to KISS and watched MTV.

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On 9/2/2020 at 4:22 PM, RIPPA said:

Hoo Boy... this is not gonna be an easy watch

Challenger: The Final Flight

Yeah this is really tough to watch.  It is painfully clear that this could have been avoidable.  The story about the meeting deciding to fly in the freezing cold and the CYA from people.

Thing really sad was that this their 2nd attempt.  They canceled the 1st one because of a storm warning the previous day that happened hours after the flight.  So they canceled based on weather estimate but proceeded when it was so fucking cold there was ice on it in the morning 

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This might sound completely ridiculous but I ended up sitting through an entire Cannibal Corpse documentary plus extras yesterday... all FIVE HOURS. 

 

I am not even much of a Cannibal Corpse fan... at all. They've always been a beginner's band to me though they have definitely kept the flame burning. Their story is really cool just as a fan of bands that've been through all kinds of shit and have carved out a very deep niche for themselves. My favorite part is actually the bonus material, because there they talk about their artist Vince Locke, their problems with censorship and Bob Dole's accusations, the miseries of their insanely constant touring, Metalocalypse, and digging into the individual personalities of every member who all seem to be a riot to be around. Basically, it was just really fun to watch and I could not stop. Give it a shot. (Oh, and the second disc is all live stuff and videos and is on Youtube too.)

Edited by Curt McGirt
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I have been watching the Vow and while it is a fascinating documentary in the look of this cult it is way too long.  Every time you think they are near the end of the road to figure out what is going to happen to this guy there is a new story explaining the person.  It almost feels like they have to provide so much detail and so many arguments just to make sure that they don't get sued.   It is something that if it is probably best to binge watch but it is almost impossible because of how long it its.  We are on part 5 and it feels like there are still 5 more parts to it.  

 

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On 9/24/2020 at 4:21 AM, hammerva said:

I have been watching the Vow and while it is a fascinating documentary in the look of this cult it is way too long.  Every time you think they are near the end of the road to figure out what is going to happen to this guy there is a new story explaining the person.  It almost feels like they have to provide so much detail and so many arguments just to make sure that they don't get sued.   It is something that if it is probably best to binge watch but it is almost impossible because of how long it its.  We are on part 5 and it feels like there are still 5 more parts to it.  

 

I agree with this. The first episode of two were awesome amd fast-paced. The last couple have dragged and it feels like they are filling time. 

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so within the past day I finally, in 2020, just got around to watching Making A Murderer. And wooooow, holy shit. So many goddamn twists and turns.

My big takeaway from all of that, though, is not WHO did it (I thought it was Bobby since the first time they mentioned he "went hunting" right around the time this all happened - or the family member that was a cop at one time. Earl?). No, my takeaway is WHY. Why does this city hate Steven and his family so fucking much? Because of that case in the 80s that they bungled so goddamn bad? I guess I could see that, but it seems like the rot of corruption went all the way to the actual state, not just that little town. Which, yeah, no surprise, a state being corrupt, but it's surprising to see the State AG and DOJ trying so hard to bury one guy on behalf of a botched investigation in a small ass town.

I'm not a big fan of the brother of the victim, either. Yeah, they went through something unimaginable and terrible, but it just seems like a dickhead. Also, MOTHERFUCK that one guy that made Brandon draw pictures of a fictional crime scene (in a classroom??).

Just fucking BONKERS. Between this and I'll Be Gone In The Dark, and I'm really into long form docuseries about killers and whatnot right now for whatever reason. 'Tis the season, I suppose.

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I watched The Social Dilemma yesterday.  Thoughts:

1) I know all this.

2) The message is very important, but this acting is so atrociously bad, it distracts and detracts.

3) There's a LOT of hand wringing from the interviewees: "well thought this was bad, but no one else did...".  I don't doubt that a lot of people working in the industry have issues but come on...

4) Aside from literally 60 seconds, they offer no solutions to the sky falling. 

5) I'm glad I have no kids.  

Also, listen to the NY Times podcast, Rabbit Hole.  It's great. https://www.nytimes.com/column/rabbit-hole

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  • 2 weeks later...
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