You would have hooked your starting QB like 3 plays into a game?

 

Cool story bro.

It almost is like the Bears are just going to play soft willing to give up tons of yardage just so they can bait Eli into more picks

Brandon Jacobs is running like this is three years ago

It almost is like the Bears are just going to play soft willing to give up tons of yardage just so they can bait Eli into more picks

My fantasy team endorses this plan.

BRANDON MOTHERFUCKING JACOBS!!!

God Dammit - why didn't I start him? Its not that my other RBs were any better

He's really very slow but you can see where he still has a lot of value as a short yardage/goal line guy on that run. Just dragged 3 or 4 guys across the line.

Are rippa's pants off for Brandon Jacobs yet?

You would have hooked your starting QB like 3 plays into a game?

 

Cool story bro.

It would have prevented the Pick-Six.

This really seems like another game where it will be - which QB fucks over their team the least

This could be one of those 40-32 things.

RUEBEN FUCKING RANDLE!!!

Who cares that half the time Eli tries to target you it's picked off!!! (6 passes targeted at Randle have been picked off)

Waterbrain Bowl is tied!

I'm glad my fantasy opponent has decided to bench Marshall this week. Now I need Forte to step his damn game up. Two picks for Eli, is his starting job safe this year no matter what? 

I'm glad my fantasy opponent has decided to bench Marshall this week. Now I need Forte to step his damn game up. Two picks for Eli, is his starting job safe this year no matter what?

Yes - they aren't going to start Curtis Painter.Its possible he would be shitty enough to get benched during a game but not to miss a start

Don't the Texans still owe him a shit ton of money? 

 

After this season, Matt Schaub will have received all of his guaranteed money.  If they cut him, they just have the rest of his pro-rated bonus to pay out, which comes out to $7M or thereabouts.  I don't remember my cap shenanigans that well; can't they split that out over a few years?  If so, it makes it pretty negligible.  

That flag for two hand touching of the QB or whatever was silly.

Manning almost had me believing they would A. win a game and B. he was done throwing picks now with two minutes I would assume Forte will get a few garbage time runs I just need ten more yards or so to feel good about his performance. 

Eliiiiiiiiiiiiiii...... It's almost like it was written about him, sadly it's not.

Eli, Eli, you can't tell left from rightEli, Eli, your eyes are black and whiteWhy, why, why, why do you smile at me?Oh, why do you smile at me?I've been so cruel, mother of mineI've been so cruel to youSo, why do you smile at me?I've been away for as long as snowI've been missing for yearsSo, why do you smile at me?Why do you smile at me?Why do you smile?Been away for as long as snowI've been missing for yearsLooking for the son of mineHe's been looking for your fearsWhy, why, why do you leave me far behind?Why, why, why do you leave me here to die?Why do you smile at me?Why do you smile?

Oh no, Ryan.  Rippa is gonna to ban you for posting that.

It's just me being silly. His team has beaten mine the last few years. Hell, they'll probably end up blowing mine out this year again knowing their luck. I half expect the Giants to win every remaining game just to spite me.

I've been drinking so I may be overlooking something obvious, but what's the furthest that the season's gone with four winless teams?

Two acceptable outcomes:

 

Bears win by 9

 

Giants win

 

Thanks for nothing, Waterbrains

So the Saints might as well have already clinched the NFC South every other team in their division has one or no wins. Damn. 

The coach trying to get a coherent response from Eli makes the photo.