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Greatest Horror of All Time - where to begin?


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8 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Man they just dropkicked some fool's head off at the end of Ten Tigers of Kwangtung! JT, is this sequel as good? I'd seen most of Ten Tigers already and had it on mute while I was dicking around on here. 

People who haven't seen the glorious entirety of TEN TIGERS and instead dick around on a message board make the baby Jebus cry.

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My entire existence makes the baby Jebus cry, but that's nothing new haha

I just get bored with some of the exposition and comedy and have seen most of the good fights so I didn't pay it enough mind. Kid from Kwangtung said "comedy kung-fu, not my thing" then it just had that rooster vs. roach (?) costume fight and I couldn't look away. 

And "dicking around" means the Internet in general (plus drinking)

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Ten Tigers is required viewing but you won't miss much by skipping Kid From Kwangtung.  It's not really a sequel per se.

As far as mainland Chinese horror goes, I'd recommend A Chinese Ghost Story like OSJ did.

The work of the Pang brothers is very hit or miss.  I really liked The Eye, Ab-Normal Beauty, and Diary (another psychological thriller vs. horror argument here) but the rest of their horror and thriller catalogue results in diminishing returns.

You probably know the Pangs from their balls to the wall bullet opera, Bangkok Dangerous.  And I mean the good one aka the original and not that dumb remake with Nicholas Cage that they made in order to keep the lights on.

I had high hopes for Fruit Chan after he came out with the Dumplings segment for Three.... Extremes, but then his career sorta went nowhere.

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As for the "are movies with crazy murderers in them considered to be horror movies?" thing goes, I'm inclined to include most of those films as I tend to agree with Roger Ebert's logic about what makes Halloween a horror film, in that Halloween is effective because you cannot chose to disbelieve in the "monster."

You can laugh off werewolves and ghosts and vampires as superstitious nonsense, but there is no waving off the existence of the insane cannibal killer as a figment of folk lore because Ed mother fucking Gein and Jeffrey Dahmer were very real people.

Human beings will always be scarier than any monster out there and are capable of things more disturbing than you can even begin to imagine so yeah, Silence of the Lambs will be somewhere on my ballot.

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2 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

I've only seen part of the Cage version, of course

K- and J-horror isn't really my thing but I really need to watch Kwaidan, Onibaba, and The Untold Story for this project.

You need to watch Ring, NOROI:  The Curse, One Missed Call, Shutter, A Tale Of Two Sisters, Audition, The Host, House, and Ju-On: The Grudge by the end of the month, man.

Then you can tackle the infuriating catalogue of Shinya Tsukamoto.  You will probably dig the bizarre Cronenberg-esque Tetsuo body horror films, but Marebito will probably make you shake your head in disappointment.

The most infuriating thing about J- and K-Horror is that when it is on point, it is extremely on point but when it off, it is off the fucking rails bad. 

It is not horrible in a Sure it Is Stupid But It Is A Friday the 13th Movie So I Watch It Anyway kinda bad. It is a kind of bad that will make you question your own intelligence as to why you have not taken a baseball bat your DVD player kinda bad.

There are also some cultural things that will make you scratch your head in disbelief.  The Japanese have this thing about ghosts that haunt women's bathrooms.  It is actually a fucking thing.

They also have this deal about hypnotism working like fucking magic. Neither Oldboy nor H will be on my HORROR movie ballot, but those are the best examples I can think of off the top of my head.

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Thinking about that, I almost want to put Ted Bundy on as an honorable mention, though it'll never happen. Henry and Silence are going on though. 

Ringu... I've avoided it for so long. I really really am not a big ghost story fan, minus the few Euromerican Gothics that I like (The Haunting [top ten], Burnt Offerings, Legend of Hell House, The Changeling). That's why I want to see Kwaidan and Onibaba before something newer because I think it'd be more up my alley. And for fuck's sake I've never seen The Innocents!

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There will probably be a traditional pimping thread before the voting takes place.  I am confident that OSJ, Control, and Jae will pick up the slack if I forget anything important and hopefully Jingus, Hollinger, and Manos will turn in shadow ballots.

We kinda need to get the Documentaries project off of the ground first.

.

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The best and worst thing about this poll will be being totally creeped the fuck out by shit you haven't watched since you were a kid that you assumed that you would no longer frightened of by virtue of being an adult.

When I was a kid, the fucking trailer for It's Alive scared the shit out of me, but I am certain I have enough courage as a grown up to endure the dark comedic antics of a murderous mutant infant.

Tourist Trap, on the other hand.

Anthologies will be difficult for me to handle because they're only as good as the least of the segments and there is such a wide variance of quality in films like the installments of ABCs Of Murder and V/H/S films.

Tales From The Crypt (1972), Asylum, Tales From The Darkside: The Movie, Black Sabbath, Trick 'R Treat, Three... Extremes, Twlight Zone: The Movie, Body Bags, Kwaidan, Dead of Night (1945), and Creepshow will all receive consideration and most will no doubt make their way onto my ballot..

I will have to track down a copy of Southbound and struggle with my inner Mark Coale to decide whether or not the two hour pilot episode of Night Gallery qualifies.

I am ashamed to admit that I have never ever ever seen Paul Leni's 1924 film, Das Wachsfigurenkabinett (Waxworks), which is considered by film scholars to be the first horror anthology ever filmed.

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6 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

True. This might be a temporary repository in the meantime though. Documentary... shit, I'm already thinking about this too hard.

Listen to J.T., he is to horror film what I am to horror literature (and he's damn close to me on that). Twin brothers of different parents and all that shit.

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13 minutes ago, odessasteps said:

Nyquil? 

From my drinking days I can attest that three shots of vodka, half a bottle of Nyquil mixed with 7-Up is one hell of a nightcap. (and no, I do not recommend this.) 

I could actually use some, I've been up all night watching kung-fu shenanigans and now I'm still wide awake. Yeah, not much going to get done today...

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On 4/5/2017 at 9:11 PM, odessasteps said:

Now wondering if i could come up with 25 or 50 horror comedies. 

Honestly, if i did a list, it would be val lewton, Argento, Phibes/theatre of blood/conqueror worm, wicker man and Ken Russell's Gothic. (Not sure how to work in Hitch)

A lot of that will be on my ballot, so feel free to back me up.

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3 minutes ago, Execproducer said:

You should check out Human Lanterns.

I'll confess that I haven't seen this, tell me more...

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Never mind, I looked it up, how in the fuck did I miss a 1982 Shaw Bros flick with Lo Lieh? I know what I'm going to be looking for...

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8 minutes ago, Execproducer said:

A lot of that will be on my ballot, so feel free to back me up.

Yours and mine both, a top 100 without several Vincent Price films is like a day without sunshine. My biggest dilemma is which to rate higher, Lionel Atwill's brilliant performance in Mystery in the Wax Museum or Vincent's inspired scenery chewing in House of Wax? Damn, I love both films.

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2 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Masque of the Red Death is my Price pick. And Phibes of course

And dammit haven't seen Mystery in the Wax Museum either...

It's the source material for HOW. Of course, Lionel Atwill (who often played mad scientists), is far more restrained in his performance than Vincent Price could ever hope to be. In fact, the only flaw in Vincent Price movies (if indeed it is a flaw), is that you were always aware that you were watching Vincent Price. In some films it didn't matter, in Theatre of Blood, you were more aware of "this is Vinnie's chance to show he can do Shakespeare" than you were of the story going on. I still love TOB, but it is all too aware of its leading actor to be high on my list. 

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4 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Masque of the Red Death is my Price pick. And Phibes of course

And dammit haven't seen Mystery in the Wax Museum either...

I love Phibes but i think Conquerer Worm/Witchfinder General might be my favorite Price movie now. 

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