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Game Horrors You Don't Ever Want To Put Yourself Through Ever Again.


J.T.

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Possessed Praetorians say sup.

I could still have anxiety attacks thinking about MGS escort missions (E.E. in MGS2, the final bit with EVA in MGS3, and the mining site in MGSV all immediately come to mind).

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4 minutes ago, odessasteps said:

killing that bear in Red Dead

I had RDR cougar flashbacks when I discovered that GTA5 fucking well put mountain lions into the Hunting mini-game.

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Anything involving the Hammerhead in ME2.

One where every single person on the planet will disagree with me - the train sequence in Uncharted 2.

 

14 minutes ago, J.T. said:

GTA4:  Three Leaf Clover without Kiki Jenkins's Lawyer Buff.

Speaking of stuff like that - trying to race Hillary in Vice City without stashing a fast car nearby before starting the mission.

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Was Hillary the one kinda near the end of the game?

I remember there was a race fairly near the end where the only way I could beat it was rocket launching the car and then I could take my time

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Those dead, ghost fish things in the Xbox Ninja Gaiden.  It took me about 35 times to beat that part, and as I was walking towards the save spot I got killed with one hit by something stupid.  I never played the game again.

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5 minutes ago, Robert C said:

Anything involving the Hammerhead in ME2.

One where every single person on the planet will disagree with me - the train sequence in Uncharted 2.

 

Speaking of stuff like that - trying to race Hillary in Vice City without stashing a fast car nearby before starting the mission.

Stash a what in the where now?  You could do that? Fuck, I never beat the game because of that race.

Any of the schools in GTA:San Andreas.  In fact, most of the missions in San Andreas can eat a dick.

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On the Hillary race - you could drive a fast car on your way to start the mission, then leave it close, but not too close, to the starting point.  After the mission started, I'd drive a hundred yards or so, jump out of the crappy car Hillary gave me, and jump into the stock car or something similar.  Made beating him fairly easy.

I forgot Zero missions in San Andreas.  The remote control plane one was soul destroying.

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I would consider becoming a competent pilot in San Andreas one of my major life accomplishments.  Like, being able to take off and land one of the big airliners from one airport to another without everything becoming smoke and fire.  And the Harrier knockoff was so much fun.

But that RC plane mission was a goddamn nightmare.

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Oh my God, the Zero missions.   When you discover to your horror that the power lines linking the electrical poles are rendered as solid objects.

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I usually don't have problems with the flying missions on GTA games (learned to fly using the Dodo in GTA3, everything is east compared to that) but I played through the iPhone version of San Andreas recently and N.O.E. (where you have to fly under the radar in a shitty prop plane or jets come after you) was horrible.

The flight school wasn't too much of a problem and I skipped boat school because it isn't needed, but the driving school is pretty awful, especially the last lesson, where you have to get a perfect run with the worst car in the game.

The ambulance side mission in GTA3 isn't bad if you do it right away on the second island.  Most of the patients are on straight lines from the hospital and the Columbians don't hate you too much yet.  One thing to keep in mind is you almost never want to brake and turn at the same time due to the ambulance's shit handling.

Zero's missions in SA aren't too bad, especially any version that's not the PS2 because they will give you more time/fuel/armor before you fail.  His voice is honestly the worst part of it.  Hearing him whine CAAAAAARL has me mute the game anytime I play the missions.  For the one that uses the plane, you have to be very frugal with hitting the accelerator.  Just tap it occasionally instead of holding it down. 

For the Hilary race, stay close to him and then give his car a little shove when you're near the police station.  This will usually cause him to spin or hit oncoming traffic.  At that point, as long as you drive decently fast (doesn't need to be top speed) and don't crash, you can beat him.

 

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I've been over this before but I also despised the flying missions in GTA San Andreas and they resulted in the only legit controller throw I can ever remember. But then I put it down for a while, came back to the game weeks later and managed to really get the hang of it to the point I was and still am very comfortable with flying in that game. The controls are just so *different* from the driving in terms of the precision they really take some adjustment.

 

The Ambulance in GTA 3 is way, way, way harder than anything in San Andreas, for me. Fuck the ambulance. It tips if you sneeze. PIece of shit GTA 3 ambulance.

 

There's a mission in Vice City where you have to bomb a store in the mall then get away from the whole police force of the United States that is the least fun bullshit I can possibly think of. Vice City in general is utter trash in terms of mission design though. Sorry, but it's aged terribly and is pretty easily the worst major title in the GTA series. Honestly one of the most overrated video games ever made. The game is so bad I keep a running list in my head of people that tell me it is good so I can rate their opinion on other games less than I otherwise would.

 

Whoever designed the combat/menu system in Wizardry 8 needs to be unemployed in the game industry. I'm told the game is a classic but I'll never know because it's a completely unplayable mess.

 

The end boss of FTL Faster Than Light, with the expansion turned on. Great, great game. But the boss just disregards 90% of the game's own rules it has laid out, cheats like hell, and that's why it's hard. It's the only unfun part of an otherwise wonderful little game.

 

If the CPU lived long enough to get out a Geisha assassin against you in the original Shogun: Total War.

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18 minutes ago, Shane said:

As I turn into an old man, anything that requires button mashing is the hardest thing in the world. 

As someone who has always been terrible at button mashing (the torture sequence in MGS1 was the bane of my childhood), the back and forth application of a plastic spoon can move mountains, my friend.

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