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Great characters in bad movies


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Billy Zane in TALES FROM THE CRYPT: DEMON KNIGHT.

 

Every second he's on screen that movie is great and every second he's not is...the opposite of that.

 

There are a lot of overdue likes I will have to put in for tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

But again, Demon Knight is NOT a bad movie!

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Most of those cheesy 70's disaster films had at least one character that helped make things interesting. In The Poseidon Adventure, it's Shelly Winters, swimming and drowning her way to infamy. In Earthquake, it's Marjoe Gortner as the batshit insane National Guardsmen with a bodybuilding fetish. In Airport 77, it's Christopher Lee being cast against type as one of the heroes, who unfortunately takes a cabin door to the head in his attempt to save his fellow passengers. 

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Most of those cheesy 70's disaster films had at least one character that helped make things interesting. In The Poseidon Adventure, it's Shelly Winters, swimming and drowning her way to infamy. In Earthquake, it's Marjoe Gortner as the batshit insane National Guardsmen with a bodybuilding fetish. In Airport 77, it's Christopher Lee being cast against type as one of the heroes, who unfortunately takes a cabin door to the head in his attempt to save his fellow passengers. 

Shelly Winters is amazing in the Delta Force and so is Robert Forster! Hell that movie up until the Delta Force shows up is legit good, the rest is great too if you like Chuck Norris kicking people and doing wheelies on a motor cycle.

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About once every six months I try to watch Smokin' Aces all the way through and I do my best to like it.

 

It never happens.  It is sound and fury and little substance. The few moments of brilliance are lost in a sea of incoherence.

 

The only part of the movie I can watch with any sense of glee is Jack Dupree's epic intro of the rogues gallery of assassins.

 

The build-up of the Tremor Brothers will trick you into thinking this is going to be a good movie.

 

 

WHY WAS THIS SCENE DELETED IT IS FUCKING AWESOME~???

 

 

I'd have shot that skinhead bastard in the back, too.

 

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First one that springs to mind for me is Clone Ripley in Alien Resurrection. It's like she's been teleported in from some different, better Alien movie than the rest of the overwrought garbage that she's sharing the screen with.

 

 

I did adore the part where the corporate scientist is trying to explain to her how THIS TIME~!  they've finally figured out how to weaponize the alien and use it to their own ends.

 

Instead, she just shrugs and says in an honest, matter-of-fact way: "You're still gonna die."

 

No malice. No panic. No pleading. This is simply a woman who has seen this shit too many times to count and knows how it ends.

 

The indifference and the coldness, man.  

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Am I allowed to say Salma Hayek in From Dusk Till Dawn?

No.

 

BECAUSE IT IS NOT A BAD MOVIE AND SETH GECKO IS FUCKING BADASS~!

 

 

 

And if you were going to call it a bad movie the obvious answer for best character is Chet Pussy

 

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I know most of Seth's dialogue by heart.

 

Seth:  Now I don't want to do it, but I will turn this place into the fucking Wild Bunch if I think that you are fucking with me.

 

Seth: I've got six little friends and they can all run faster than you can.

 

Seth: They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are.

 

Seth:  Rule number one: No noise, no question. You make a noise... Mr. 44 makes a noise. You ask a question, Mr. 44 answers it.

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We're quoting Seth Gecko as if to imply he's a great character in a bad movie, but From Duck Til Dawn FUCKING RULES~!

 

THIS IS NOT A SCENE FROM A BAD MOVIE~!

 

 

LOWLY DOG~! BOW YOIUR HEAD~!

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