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2015 NFL: WEEK SIX


Dolfan in NYC

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So I was just doing a Google image search on Greg Olsen to see if anyone had already uploaded the victory pose.

A Greg Olsen image search brings up a strangely large amount of Jesus pics.

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“He’s probably one of those guys who is excited about his production and not worried about his team losing.” – Panthers linebacker Thomas Davis on Seahawks tight end Jimmy Graham.

Shots fired. I wanna see a lot more of this sort of thing. Nice and respectful doesn't win ball games.

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*smokes cigarette while blindfolded in front of the firing squad*

 

Dear football fans
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called the NFL season

All-consuming presence the NFL
It means old white men getting richer and that's not going to change
But I'm here to tell you
There's something else
Meeting the Patriots

A world of never ending sadness and rage
You can always see Tom Brady's smug face, day or night

So when you call up your drug dealer in Indianapolis
You know the one, Dr. Here's the Suitcase of Quaalades You Ordered
Instead of asking him how bad will the beatdown be
Ask him how much of your pride will be left, baby

'Cause in this league
Not many things are much harder than beating a mad Patriots team
In this league
You're on your own

And if other teams' fans try to bring you down
Tell 'em to FUCK OFF, because you're about to start drinking

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I hate when players ask for flags. Every deep pass now the WR wants a flag, every time a QB is hit he finds a referee and motions for a flag. Maybe I am just old but I don't remember ten years ago players doing that. I think Brady started it and now everyone does it.

In Tabe's NFL, asking for a flag is a 10-yard penalty. I'm dead serious about that.
Other rules in my league:

1) Jumping offside stops the play, same as a false start

2) Throwing the ball into the ground on a screen pass is intentional grounding

3) kickoffs (when kicked from normal spot) that go out of the back of the end zone on the fly get spotted at the 35

4) Quarterback hand gestures, neck bobs, and leg raises designed to fake a snap are a false start

5) pick routes will be tightly called as offensive pass interference

6) "half the distance" offsides penalties are an automatic 1st down

7) Offensive pass interference will be more tightly called and will include loss of down as well

8) I'm not sure how to word this but somehow I want to limit yardage on defensive pass interference and eliminate intentionally underthrown passes to try and create PI calls the defense can't possibly prevent

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