piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Dammit. Don't fuck up my dead Cole update bit by splitting threads! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Comedian Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Show started with a bang and ended with a whimper. What started out as a great crowd went completely douchetastic with the whole "we're still booing Reigns" thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w. josh Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Quick quiz: What is the correct thing to say if you're Michael Cole and the world explodes and you suddenly find yourself laying in the ring and Brock is lifting you up? Hint: Cole tried the following: "Please, Brock! I didn't do anything! Pleeeease Brock!!!" That didn't work. How about: "Brock, I'm pregnant with your dinner!" "Brock, that guy in the front row just said only bitches get diverticulitis!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Unholy Dragon Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Did HHH lock Vince in a closet? Great IC and US title matches with time and suspense. Fun 8 man tag to give the Lucha Dragons their Raw debut. Great, long Divas tag. Several pointed and well delivered short matches keeping Mizdow and Rusev over and debuting Neville. Fun main event 6 man that did its thing. Great Sheamus rrturn. And an amazing Brock angle in the guts of it. The only real flaw of the show was that long stretch of Byron Saxton on his own. I never thought I'd be glad to hear Jerry Lawler in 2015 but there it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Quick quiz: What is the correct thing to say if you're Michael Cole and the world explodes and you suddenly find yourself laying in the ring and Brock is lifting you up? Hint: Cole tried the following: "Please, Brock! I didn't do anything! Pleeeease Brock!!!" That didn't work. How about: "Brock, I'm pregnant with your dinner!" "Brock, that guy in the front row just said only bitches get diverticulitis!" "Ladies and Gentlemen, our latest information is that Michael Cole is now suffering from chronic failure of Diverticulitis to kill Brock Lesnar. His only hope is to build a time machine and send an army of sesame seeds back to 2009 in Brock Lesnar's sigmoid colon and hope that one of them makes it through." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Firebreaker Chip Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 First two hours of that were great, last hour more directionless holding pattern ish with the same old guys. The two title matches that actually went ahead were great. Sheamus and Barrett tagging on Smackdown with Sheamus just actually optimally positioned as a perpetually violent idiot that everyone hates could be good but damn this is a lot of wrestling to voluntarily watch in a single week Ryback randomly shellshocking Big Show and momentarily stunning the crowd into reacting to something relevant probably the high point of the main, Lawler's selective hearing re: "Randy Orton" chants aside Probably smart to debut Kalisto and Neville in front a of a crowd that would react strongly to them, and both looked great, although "Adrian" seemingly the latest and most ridiculous casualty of the McMahon forename cull lol at Renee not really caring that Michael Cole had passed away because there was a title situation to clarify, whatta pro; poor boring Byron sitting there traumatised, unable to come to terms with the loss of his mentor (I bet Vince just didn't tell him he was doing commentary on his own until it happened, for a laugh) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "Dear viewers, we just got a text from the hospital. Michael Cole is now said to be suffering from gravitational disdain brought on by acute ground directed rage propulsion." 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MGFanJay Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Sting's network-exclusive promo was just that he doesn't know what the future holds, but he's willing to do whatever. Thus an angle with Bo Dallas and STEVE. Well, he's not retired at least. Not sure if this is better or worse than losing to Magnus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig H Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Michael Cole update: He has...soap...poisoning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w. josh Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Sheamus did, in fact, look stupid. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Mann Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 So when Dean does that submission hold, is it called the STD? 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bink_winkleman Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Show started with a bang and ended with a whimper. What started out as a great crowd went completely douchetastic with the whole "we're still booing Reigns" thing... Nothing wrong with still booing Reigns, but booing Cena right now is about as non-smarky as you can get. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Fowler Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 AJ wore a Bayley t-shirt. I think maybe a show happened around that too, but, really, AJ WORE A BAYLEY T-SHIRT (Also, BROCK.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You are crazy. Sheamus looked amazing. If he never speaks another word and just does that every week, he wins my heart. 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Craig H Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 So when Dean does that submission hold, is it called the STD? Severe Tire Damage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dewar Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Bo Dallas taking the Scorpion Death Drop on the after-show with the mic in his hand begging Sting to stop was fantastic. Positives: Lesnar killed it. Divas match was good, as was Bryan/Ziggles. I heart Renee Young. They gave Neville a cape, when all you whiners thought he was going to come in as Mighty Mouse. One good thing about all the Brits in the stands tonight is that people gave a shit about Neville his first night in. Negatives: Crowd fucking sucked. Big time. Next year for the night after Mania, donate every ticket in the arena to kids who maintain a certain mark average for the schoolyear. I don't need idiots with their Liverpool FC banners and Richmond Tigers jumpers on screen trying to be cool. Stephanie was a big time negative. Unless Rousey or someone else does show up to punch her out, what's the end game with her running down the roster every week? Saxton as the lead commentator has always been bad, and when paired with Lawler, it doesn't get better. Rusev was given nothing to do. Everyone wants to know what's next for him, and all he got was a match with Goldust. You would think a guy who had soldiers and a fucking tank for his entrance last night wouldn't be such an afterthought today. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "Ladies and Gentlemen, if anyone is out there in the area and is willing to make a donation, we are told that Michael Cole is in need of the following: - blood tranfusion- total Bone replacement,- Intraneckular marrow transplant,- between four and five lungs (not for breathing, he won't be doing that anymore, but just to ground up into a paste for him to lick as an oxygen substitute).- a new tongue capable of processing lung paste- a car made out of gauze- reversal of gravity- a warm bowl of stem cell soup- a titanium alloy endoskeleton with rubber skin (used is fine if in reasonable condition)- teeth 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "Macho Man" shirt guy was so into that Cena/Ambrose top rope sequence. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Niners Fan in CT Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I wouldn't mind seeing Rusev and his tank invade Liverpool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w. josh Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 They really need to figure out why so many first names keep getting lost on the ride from Full Sail to wherever RAW is. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JCM Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 First hour and change was amazing. Then Byron Saxon came out and did the worst commentary in the history of mankind, and the show slowly went downhill from there. I liked Neville's new gear, and he looked good as always. That was a real strong debut for Kalisto. Cena needs a new match formula because finisher kickouts need to be put to bed. Divas match went too long and the heat segment was crap. There going to have to bring up a few top NXT women if they're going to do these longer matches. By the end of the show it was back to the same old WWE. I guess Brock just makes everything a million times better. Seriously how far ahead of everybody else is Brock right now? Big Show, Kane, and Stephanie please fuck off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Dude. I enjoyed a New Day match! I enjoyed a Sheamus thing! I enjoyed watching Cena win a match! I enjoyed hearing Lawler do serious voice! It's like they couldn't fuck anything up tonight. And then Orton started talking to, like, Kane...fuuuuuuck. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fallacy! Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Jesus, I think the latest group to turn on Sting was WWE Creative. Guy goes from looking like the most badass "vigilante" in wrestling one week, to basically begging for work in a promo the next week. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Jesus, I think the latest group to turn on Sting was WWE Creative. Guy goes from looking like the most badass "vigilante" in wrestling one week, to basically begging for work in a promo the next week. Heath Slater does need a partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nice Guy Eddie Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 "Ladies and Gentlemen, if anyone is out there in the area and is willing to make a donation, we are told that Michael Cole is in need of the following: - blood tranfusion - total Bone replacement, - Intraneckular marrow transplant, - between four and five lungs (not for breathing, he won't be doing that anymore, but just to ground up into a paste for him to lick as an oxygen substitute). - a new tongue capable of processing lung goo - a car made out of gauze - reversal of gravity - a warm bowl of stem cell soup - a titanium alloy endoskeleton with rubber skin (used is fine if in reasonable condition) - teeth Michael Cole has been given his last rites and his family has said their goodbyes. I'm on my way to the hospital to pick up the body and take it to the funeral home to embalm him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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