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Wrestlemania XXXI


Matt D

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If there wasn't already a four-way match on the card, the divas' match would have been better off as a four-way.  Gives a legitimate reason for AJ and Paige to go into business for themselves rather than their tense alliance, plus plants the seed of whether Brie might finally decide to get payback for her sister's betrayal.

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So.. is Jon Stewart not appearing at WrestleMania? Seems weird they started up that angle with him and Rollins, and then just had it blow off in a random angle on Raw? It definitely seemed to be heading to a culmination at the "Show Of Shows".

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They've changed the narrative about what wrestling is. There are no stakes anymore. We're supposed to think "Who cares who wins or what that means? They're entertaining so hard out there right now!"

 

I blame Ziggler's just happy to be there peroxide-blond self. If Bryan is a turd, Zigs is the one-ply tissue we're forced to use to clean up after the turd.

 

(please know that I'm completely joking with this)

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So.. is Jon Stewart not appearing at WrestleMania? Seems weird they started up that angle with him and Rollins, and then just had it blow off in a random angle on Raw? It definitely seemed to be heading to a culmination at the "Show Of Shows".

Just a one shot as far as I know.  But Stewart did lay the seeds for Seth to turn face.  

 

Whether or not the WWE realized he did so is completely unknown... but it's there. 

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Yeah - the WWE just luck boxed into the Stewart thing since Rollins just made a current events quip re: Stewart leaving the Daily Show.

Stewart being a fan made a fun Youtube video that picked up some attention and the WWE jumped on the pub.

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Yeah - the WWE just luck boxed into the Stewart thing since Rollins just made a current events quip re: Stewart leaving the Daily Show.

Stewart being a fan made a fun Youtube video that picked up some attention and the WWE jumped on the pub.

 

I think it was more that Stewart wanted to promote his "Night of Too Many Stars" telethon and his kid is a big a wrestling fan.

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Well, I for one, hope there's an actual discussion thread about the show for people who want to discuss something WM about the other than fucking Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. We fucking get it!!!

Also, the divas tag has potential. I wish it was a tornado tag stip, but it will prolly be a standard tag match with the Bellas working on AJ until Paige tags in, clears house, pins Nikki etc etc

Or having Paige and AJ beat the shit of the Bellas only for Nikki to get a cheap win would work too..

 

"Enough about the main event angle and its potential ramifications, the result of which will dominate 85% of WWE programming over the next year!  Let's talk about this barn burner of a Divas non-title tag match that will likely go for all of seven minutes!!!  Bellas!  BELLAS!  BELLAAAAAAAAAS!!!"

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Is that the royal "we" or editorial "we"?  Perhaps you should continue to post in the 3rd person, be something different anyway.

 

Well, I for one, hope there's an actual discussion thread about the show for people who want to discuss something WM about the other than fucking Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. We fucking get it!!!

Also, the divas tag has potential. I wish it was a tornado tag stip, but it will prolly be a standard tag match with the Bellas working on AJ until Paige tags in, clears house, pins Nikki etc etc

Or having Paige and AJ beat the shit of the Bellas only for Nikki to get a cheap win would work too..

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Nothing wrong with Mike Jackson.

 

 

So, now the Andre Battle Royal has become the equivalent of the Mulkey Brothers, Mike Jackson, George South, Italian Stallion, and Cougar Jay running into each other for 20 minutes to open the biggest show of the year.

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WM Predictions~!

 

Kidd / Cesaro v. Los Matadores v. New Day v. Usos

 

Your first Wrestlemania moment will be Cesaro Giant Swinging El Torito for 100 revolutions.  Usos win, Reigns either comes out to celebrate with them or is shown in the back congratulating them on their win.

 

Bellas v. AJ / Paige

 

Non-offensive match, Nikki decks Brie by accident then gets put in the Scorpion Crosslock to tap out. 

 

Orton v. Rollins

 

Orton reverses some flying shit into an RKO.  what else is new?  Rollins is shown backstage later saying he's not done tonight ...

 

Andre the Giant Battle Royal

 

Honestly, this is so jobber-iffic that this should be the time to finally put over Kofi Kingston as the master of battle royals.  On the other hand, Mizdow should finally break free from the Miz and win the Royal. 

 

Intercontinental Title Ladder Match

 

Bryan wins!  100,000 people say Yes a lot.

 

Bray Wyatt v. Undertaker

 

Undertaker and Wyatt should both have moments where they go into GOD MODE and stop selling all together and start dominating and the other guy shows fear.  Tombstones and Sister Abigails should have no effect at times during the match as they channel their spirts and demons or what have you.  Taker should get a 2nd or 3rd tombstone, but when the ref stops to count, lights go out, Harper and Rowan are back with Wyatt and double team the hell out of Undertaker.  Taker eventually fights back and takes them out, but falls victim to Sister Abigail.  Wyatt showboats too much before the pin and gets the Hells Gate and taps.  Wyatt, Harper and Rowan then literally murder the Undertaker out of the match and put him in a casket and set it on fire.  Undertaker's soul floats out of the stadium vowing to return.

 

Cena v. Rusev

 

Cena wins when he cheapshots Rusev and Rusev passes out in the STF.

 

Sting v. Triple H

 

Match goes on too long, but Sting pins him with the Scorpion Death Drop, and no mention of the Scorpion Death Lock is ever uttered.

 

Brock v. Reigns

 

Reigns gets bloodied up, but keeps kicking out of absurd punishment.  Ref gets bumped, he finally hits all three of his spots in a row and gets a visual pinfall, but Brock "breaks" his arm and F-5s Reigns out for the count.  Rollins runs in to cash in, but Dean Ambrose stops him from cashing in, and they all get f-5'd for their trouble.  Reigns is out of action a month with the "broken" arm and he can come back and feud with someone else until he's ready to come back and fight for the title again.

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I seem to remember Meltzer reporting that Bryan was experiencing numbness in his right arm after his match with Harper on RAW a few weeks backs when he was taking all those stupid bumps. Whatever the condition of his neck, he's not helping it, that's for sure.

 

Bryan's numbess in his arm is not related to his neck injury, but was the reason he missed most of the time.

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Whatever happens, I just don't want a double turn with Lesnar/Reigns or an out of nowhere Shield reunion.  And it's got to be on the table cause way too many people that should know better keep bringing it up like either are good ideas.

 

Just Reigns beating Lesnar will be fine.  Afterwards, Lesnar looks like he's going to follow the Code Of Honor with Heyman bitching about the loss when The Authority mobs Reigns.  Maybe Show mouths off to Lesnar so Lesnar grabs him and fights him back up the aisle while Ambrose runs out to help Reigns clean house and keeps Rollins from cashing in.

 

Then the next night, Raw kicks off with Ambrose introducing Reigns as new champion.  Bo Dallas comes out to congratulate him so he gets punched in the mouth.  Then Daniel Bryan comes out and backhandedly congratulates Reigns and Ambrose for winning the previous night and Ambrose tells him he can get a singles match if he fills out the proper paperwork.  Then before Bryan can fully turn, Lesnar comes out and demands his rematch and extends his hand while Heyman protests.  Then Triple H leads out The Authority because he wants to re-establish dominance after his loss to Sting and wants Rollins to win the belt now.  Then a pier 6 brawl breaks out, Bryan quietly backs out, Lesnar's tied up with the giants, Ambrose with J&J and Reigns with Trips and then Sheamus runs out for the save but SWERVE, BRO! he kicks Reigns in the face.  Then the lights go out and when they come back on Bray Wyatt's got a noose around Lesnar's neck and drags him under the smoking ring.  Then Triple H is about to drill Reigns with his sledgehammer when the lights go out again and when they come back on, Sting is cleaning house with his bat.

 

Then, plenty of options for major programs for the future:

Reigns vs. Sheamus -> Lesnar -> Rollins -> Bryan -> Rusev -> Cena -> Bunkhouse Buck

 

Lesnar vs. Wyatt -> Reigns -> Rollins -> Bryan -> THE MONSTER MENG!

 

Ambrose vs. Bryan -> Sheamus -> A BEAR

 

Sting vs. Rollins -> Wyatt

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They don't want him as the company ace, but they've NEVER buried him or tried to limit him.

 

BULL. This is honestly the biggest piece of selective memory I've seen on a wrestling board in some time.

 

They've:

- From the first day said he was nothing, pointed out that he has no charisma or mic skills and buried him with The Miz.

- Called him a geek, nerd, troll and goat for months on end.

- When he got hot, they tried to turn him heel and make him yell NO, instead of YES. They did this for months on end for no real reason.

- They pushed him as the weak link in a team with KANE.

- The whole Team Hell No storyline. Hugfests, seeing psychiatrists, getting in arguments at fast food restaurants then having Kane hunt him like he was Jason and have him run.

- Despite having multiple matches with main eventers like Orton and others, they said he wasn't in their league.

- They buried him for months against the Authority. DB got laid out and beaten down so many times that I thought I was watching reruns.

- They tried to turn him heel again with the Wyatt Family for no reason whatsoever.

- They've produced some of the worst merchandise ever for him.

- They ruined two Royal Rumble's consecutively so he didn't win and did everything in their power to try to kill the heat.

- They've ignored all of his popularity in his hometown and didn't even mention his various things with celebrities and the parade.

- They have the easiest storyline ever in a face DB trying to get the belt back that he never lost against Brock and ignore it. They then have him lose to Big Daddy Cool Reigns and verbally suck him off.

- They then strap him in a WM ladder match with other people they aren't pushing, don't want to push, will never push and don't know what to do with.

 

Compare all this with way Roman Reigns has been booked in the last year and tell me he wasn't being buried. Bullshit.

 

I've watched a lot of wrestling in my day and don't remember anyone else having to go through a fraction of what he's had to go through. You know the best part? He made almost all of it work, got more over no matter what crap they gave him and it's still not good enough!

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To be fair, they're giving him the IC title and Cena the US belt to elevate them.

It hasn't happened yet first off and we all know WWE. It's just like when they get into the tag division for a month or two and then everything is back to normal. I'd love to pretend it's NJPW and they will pull that off, but I'm skeptical.

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To be fair, they're giving him the IC title and Cena the US belt to elevate them.

 

That's giving WWE a benefit of a doubt they do not deserve.  It's also going by a Reddit user and purported anonymous scooper named metsfan4ever.

 

And for that matter, how does Cena winning the US title and beating Rusev really elevate it or help anybody at this point?

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It'll probably be forgotten about in a month or 2, but Jon Stewart was really good in that segment.  The "poster boy" line was ice cold and my current line of the year.  They should give him a Slammy for more publicity.

 

Stewart actually has career and things to do so I doubt we'll see him again.  It would be cool if Stewart randomly dropped in at various points in Seth's career with wise words for him though.  Seth's Jiminy Cricket.  His Morgan Freedman? 

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