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Smackdown Spoilers for 6/27/14


victor

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As weird as this may sound, Wade should start pregame warm ups with Randy Orton so his damn arms stop falling off.  Randy's shoulder would pop out every fifteen seconds before he started doing this stretching before bell time.  I think Barrett needs a similar routine.

 

I see Swagger getting blamed for this but no details about what he actually did.  Whats the haps?

 

In an interview Orton called his routine "pre-habbing" which I thought was a really interesting way of looking at that kind of warm up. 

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For some reason, Swagger is on the regular "multi-man clusterfuck filler" rotation, despite never actually doing anything during those matches that reminds you why he was added (unlike Kofi and Dolph). 

Never actually doing anything except winning a MITB and Elimination Chamber match, which puts him in the company of John Cena, Edge, CM Punk, and Daniel Bryan as people who have won both matches.

 

 

I mean never doing anything to make the match exciting or memorable. That is a great bit of trivia, though. He's one of the most head-scratching repeatedly-pushed guys in WWE history.

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As weird as this may sound, Wade should start pregame warm ups with Randy Orton so his damn arms stop falling off. Randy's shoulder would pop out every fifteen seconds before he started doing this stretching before bell time. I think Barrett needs a similar routine.

I see Swagger getting blamed for this but no details about what he actually did. Whats the haps?

In an interview Orton called his routine "pre-habbing" which I thought was a really interesting way of looking at that kind of warm up.

That is actually what it is called though. You can Google pre hab and most body parts and find stuff that is low intensity to use as a warm up for higher intensity activities. I do similar stuff for my shoulders and elbows and wrists before doing pull ups because I suffer from tendonitis

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So, someone should not lay in bed for 40 days in a row eating nothing but fudge and occasionally rolling over and then try and run an ultra marathon the next day?

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For some reason, Swagger is on the regular "multi-man clusterfuck filler" rotation, despite never actually doing anything during those matches that reminds you why he was added (unlike Kofi and Dolph).

Never actually doing anything except winning a MITB and Elimination Chamber match, which puts him in the company of John Cena, Edge, CM Punk, and Daniel Bryan as people who have won both matches.

I mean never doing anything to make the match exciting or memorable. That is a great bit of trivia, though. He's one of the most head-scratching repeatedly-pushed guys in WWE history.

It's not that head-scratching. He's enormous and super-athletic. If not for the lisp and his tendency to be a total dumbass, he could've been a much bigger deal.

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Swagger is just so goofy looking.  If he ever does get released, I hope TNA puts a mask on him.

 

 

But he is still goofy looking and can't really perform under pressure. Taking for-fucking-ever to get that suitcase down at WM should've been the sign that he can't.

 

 

What about when he had that dapper haircut?

 

swaggerhair_zpsaafea48b.jpg

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Say what you want about Swagger, but his trophy segment is one of my favorite promos ever.

 

 

Self-congratulatory heeling at its finest.

"At age 5, I was better than all your children. I still am better than your children."

The Swaggie tastes like freedom.

 

The Scout's Honor.

"Greatness was my neighbor and success was my best friend. And we hung out. A lot."

His boasts that he brought a 32-year-old brain surgeon as the date to his senior prom. Ballroom dance champion.

He's a certified American Red Cross life "I've saved mediocre people just like you, so you could continue to lead your mediocre lives while I became the heart of a nation."

This is one of my all-time favorite promos and segments. It's so ridiculous and over-the-top and WRESTLING.

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And Shawn Michaels had to scoot the ladder over three times to win his ladder match with Razor at Summerslam. Shit happens, you know?

 

 

Besides the fact that no one remembers that match, that seems a lot more normal than having the crowd go crazy with the feeling of "GET THE FUCKING SUITCASE DOWN YOU ASSHOLE."

 

Botching the set up for the finish > botching the finish

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The times he actually gets to work like a wrecking machine, he looks great. 

 

Does he really? I can't think of that many great Swagger performances. He looked good against Christian in 09, and working with Cesaro opposite the Shield and Rhodes brothers, but most of his career work is pretty forgettable. He strikes me as a guy with average talent and below average charisma and below average haircuts. Above average entrance music, though.

 

Also, how do these SD spoiler threads always turn into discussions on aimless midcarders? Next week we should do Del Rio.

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I really love this HHH/Randy/Seth segment. Seth teases winning the briefcase and the title via a "Plan B" which makes the constantly insecure Orton furrow his brow. Seth talks about how Orton could very likely let everyone down again. Randy tells Seth that he might not be very much without the Shield guys at his side. HHH then has to smooth things out.

That's a great tease for a future story right there. Good set-up.

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I flip-flop on Randy Orton so much, but he is easily the best douchebag heel in wrestling at the moment.  I don't ever want to see him wrestle a one on one match, but then I think he knows that people dont really want to see him wrestle... and he plays up to it... or does he....

 

DAMN YOU RANDY YOU AWESOME DICKHEAD YOU DRIVE ME INSANE.

 

He's like some sort of modern day meta heel.

 

 

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Did you know Rusev is Russian? He has a Russian flag. The Russian blonde with him speaks Russian. He wears Russian colors with his Russian gold star that he got from the Russian president. Don't forget he has a Russian blonde with him that speaks Russian while he wears Russian colors with his Russian gold star that he got from his Russian president.

 

That's how a feel about Rusev's gimmick. My feelings about Dean Ambrose are probably the same after last night.

 

With Ambrose it's all like: Hey, this man is INSANE! He flops around like he is INSANE! He makes goofy as fuck facial expressions because he is INSANE! Did I mention he was INSANE! Oh, there he is going INSANE! things again! Look at him doing INSANE! things because he's INSANE! Be careful because the man is INSANE!

 

 

Enough with hammering home people's gimmicks and let the gimmick speak for itself. Geez.

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Did you know Rusev is Russian? He has a Russian flag. The Russian blonde with him speaks Russian. He wears Russian colors with his Russian gold star that he got from the Russian president. Don't forget he has a Russian blonde with him that speaks Russian while he wears Russian colors with his Russian gold star that he got from his Russian president.

 

That's how a feel about Rusev's gimmick. My feelings about Dean Ambrose are probably the same after last night.

 

With Ambrose it's all like: Hey, this man is INSANE! He flops around like he is INSANE! He makes goofy as fuck facial expressions because he is INSANE! Did I mention he was INSANE! Oh, there he is going INSANE! things again! Look at him doing INSANE! things because he's INSANE! Be careful because the man is INSANE!

 

 

Enough with hammering home people's gimmicks and let the gimmick speak for itself. Geez.

 

Hey, if you haven't heard, Cameron was upset that Naomi just stood there when Paige beat her.  Subtlety has never been WWE's strong suit.

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I came in on this during the Divas match. Wasn't much, but that end with Kane holding the ladder and the sudden Reigns comeback was great. Really great. It was a perfect go-home segment and made both fucking Kane and fucking Randy O-ton look like contenders, advanced the storyline, got over a new guy... good stuff.

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