piranesi Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I like that this thread is now just about insulting professional wrestlers. I feel this is a step toward understanding them as people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 This ends with Mark inexplicably in 619 position. I read "69," assumed "Mark" as in Henry, and personal, at work irl lulz ensued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I don't think Rey and Mark could do that. There would be reach issues unless one of them was hung like Mark Henr....Oooooohhhhhh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimLivingston Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I think the list of female wrestlers who could kick my ass is way longer than the non-female wrestlers whose ass I could kick. That being said, I just don't see Davey Richards as a threat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dewar Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Davey's got fighting spirit, even if you won the fight, you eventually would let him win just so he would go the fuck away. Sort of like the guy who can't beat you at pool, but refuses to stop playing until he wins a game. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Davey's got fighting spirit, even if you won the fight, you eventually would let him win just so he would go the fuck away. So Davey Richards wins fights using my "how to score with babes" technique? Fucker steals everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Iron Yuppie Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Dat jaw-bro-knee Brian Blair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ultimo Necro Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Fairly certain I could beat up all of Chikara apart from Eddie Kingston and Crossbones. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaedmc Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 X-Pac was a pretty legit martial artist at one point, and Mick Foley once claimed to be a "survivor" of his working punches. That, and X-Pac is crazy. Wouldn't fight him. Pac also supposedly bounced in Minneapolis before getting into wrestling. He would have been like 16 or 15 years old. Where was he bouncing at, Fazoli's? Would you like another breadstick, ma'am? I'll need to see some I.D. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPPA Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I am so tired that on the way home I thought "Well I could take Darren Young." But then I realized that it would be contingent on him accepting my offer of a blow job and how strong my bite was. But then I realized he might be into that sort of thing and I was like "Well I could do way worse than Darren Young for my first sexual experience with a man." But THEN I realized that Darren Young is WAY out of my league and that put me in my usual death spiral of self-confidence and all I want to do now is eat ice cream. So yeah... that happened 12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Bullshit. That picture is from the Scottish women's Olympic hockey team and you know it! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaedmc Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Rippa, what kind of ice cream did you get? Fudge bar? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I am so tired that on the way home I thought "Well I could take Darren Young." But then I realized that it would be contingent on him accepting my offer of a blow job and how strong my bite was. But then I realized he might be into that sort of thing and I was like "Well I could do way worse than Darren Young for my first sexual experience with a man." But THEN I realized that Darren Young is WAY out of my league and that put me in my usual death spiral of self-confidence and all I want to do now is eat ice cream. So yeah... that happened Of course! Your first should be with a worldly older gentleman who can introduce you to people and get you into the local arts scene. I swear you people need a guidebook or something. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RIPPA Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 At my age - there aren't that many gentlemen who are older And I to answer jae's clearly double entendre question - cookies N' cream 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaedmc Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Hot. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Go2Sleep Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 People on WWE TV in the last month I feel I could beat in a fight: 1. Michael Cole 2. The corpse of Ric Flair 3. Bray Wyatt's singing kid Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nate Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Now, for those of you scoring at home: RIPPA is the one who closes threads when they get "out of hand." A bit of perspective, there. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaedmc Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I wonder if Rippa was looking up possible self-defense techniques and got confused as to what BJJ stood for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scraylo187 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 X-Pac was a pretty legit martial artist at one point, and Mick Foley once claimed to be a "survivor" of his working punches. That, and X-Pac is crazy. Wouldn't fight him. X-Pac has a pretty well-known weak spot, though. An affinity for gigantic clitorati? No, his torn anus. Didn't want to type that out. How do you target that? I get how you target a figurative torn anus. Like with Punk, you make him feel bad and he'll just quit and go home and twitter stuff. But I'm not sure how to exploit the actual kind. Trick him into eating things that are going to make bowel movements tougher. Fight him once he's worn down and exhausted. So to summarize, the plan to attack X-Pac is as follows: Step 1: Gain his trust by offering him a cigarette Step 2: Invite him to have lunch at Chipotle Step 3: Catch him off-guard by mentioning his affinity for large clitoris Step 4: Attack! COBRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scraylo187 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I feel like I could take Mason Ryan. He seems so fake tough despite having all of those muscles. His muscles are the 'bowl of wax fruit' of strong people. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt D Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 At my age - there aren't that many gentlemen who are older And I to answer jae's clearly double entendre question - cookies N' cream In case you were wondering, I bet Pat Patterson, El Caballero del Estilo Diferente, would be able to <insert verb here> you pretty easily. And we're veering towards towards the worst mad libs ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
piranesi Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Patterson? What world can he introduce Rippa to that Rippa can't get to himself? I was thinking more along the lines of an Ian McKellen/Brendan Fraser thing. I know Rippa is no Brendan Fraser, but, man, he's closer to that than Patterson is to Ian McKellen! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scraylo187 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 At my age - there aren't that many gentlemen who are older And I to answer jae's clearly double entendre question - cookies N' cream In case you were wondering, I bet Pat Patterson, El Caballero del Estilo Diferente, would be able to <insert verb here> you pretty easily. And we're veering towards towards the worst mad libs ever. A few more steps and 'The Gentleman Caller' Rippa is going to have to lock the thread because of himself. Rippa brother, your Darren Young is out there. You just have to bolieve. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StretchMediatedHypertrophy Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 What's the deal with that Rockstar Spud guy again? I have a weird feeling that he is a psychotic scrapper that generates Meng levels of legit fear in the business. The guy can certainly take a shot or two. He once finished a match with Samoa Joe after getting a concussion about 10 seconds in, then he went on to another match with Danny Burch later in the night. He's not from an old-school British background by any stretch of the imagination, but he'll have learnt to trade heavy shots in the Indyz and I would not try my luck. Garett Bischoff feels like the one guy worth at least trying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
offspring515 Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Guys all my MMA watchin bros tell me wrestling is fake and if these dudes were real men they'd be in UFC. So given that I'm.changing my answer to all wrestlers. I can beat them all. #confidence 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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