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Kids Say the Darndest Things: Pro Wrestling Edition


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I've got to mention that little boy from the Daniel Bryan documentary on WWE Network. "Whenever I watch on TV and see all those people saying YES! it makes me feel like I should be there with them."

 

That's what it's all about.

 

 

Came into this thread to mention this, that's pro wrestling right there.

 

 

Also, i remember the summer after the Pipebomb i went with my family to Disney's Hollywood Studios wearing a Punk shirt, about 3-4 little 5 year old kids kept staring at me in awe for a minute before giving me the "You Can't See Me" taunt and running away to their parents.

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I went to a Raw in Bridgeport CT in 2008 or so when Randy Orton was the top heel and champion. Orton came out at the top of the show so everyone stood up and started booing. As Orton started cutting his promo, I realized I was standing in front of a kid about 8 or 9 so I turned around to ask if he could see. His response: "I don't want to see! I hate him so much!"

The night before that was a pay per view and the kid next to me had made a sign that was a catchers mitt on one side and a trace outline of a hand roughly the same size with accompanying arrows that said 'catchers mitt' and 'Big Show's Hand' respectively. Still the best sign I've ever seen.

 

That's awesome, man. Bridgeport hates Randy Orton hard. There was one SD! in town where they were building to an Undertaker match, and people wanted to kill him. My story is also from Bridgeport. I went to a house show about three or four weeks ago, and the Shield did their entrance through the crowd near where I was sitting with my friend and his nephews (who are like, 7 and 9, I think). The youngest boy just absolutely loses his mind, yelling "THEY WERE SO CLOSE I COULD SMELL THEM!!" My buddy says, "What are you talking about?" and he goes "I HAVE NO IDEA!!"  They were basically these kids, except replace the T-rex with Roman Reigns:

 

bw9dzOP.gif

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Back at Nitro from the FargoDome (Flair was in the insane asylum, ARMSTRONG BROTHERS WON A MATCH, and the world title changed hands twice in the same night) we had the kid behind us booing Goldberg right along with us. We all gave him high fives, and his dad looked like he wanted to punch us all in the face. Then when Goldberg didn't win the main event, it was time for more high fives with the kid, who had a new least favorite wrestler.

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I think my favorite kids at a wrestling show were at an OVW show.  Mark Henry was there, and these kids were making fun of him behind his back.  He let them go for a few minutes, then turned around and roared at them.  They started crying and ran back to their parents while Henry just smiled that happy smile we all know.

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I was at a Raw house show in 2009 where there was a Rey/Jericho match and the finish was Jericho ripping his mask off and pinning him as Rey covered his face. Every single kid in that place lost their damn minds and were desperate for a look at his face and the kid next to me turned to his friend and said something like "I'm going to see if I can find it on Youtube when I get home!" and I suddenly felt very bad that he was about to discover the dying days of WCW.

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At a house show a few years back, there was a Dad with two little boys both probably no older than 4 or 5. They left at some point and when they returned they were decked out head to toe in John Cena merch. Headband, wristbands, hats, and shirts. Dad must've spent well over $100 on this merch for both boys. Then, when Cena finally came out at the end, these kids lost their minds. Seeing the look in their eyes as they finally saw their real life superhero in the flesh right in front of them was awesome. So, not so much that they really SAID anything, but just a reminder that these kids really do absolutely LOVE John Cena.

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There are fucking dinosaurs at Jesus Camp? Shit, I suddenly wish I was religious.

raptor_jesus_m9712.jpg

 

Jesus had to get around somehow.

 

Last time I recall sitting near kids was at a WWE show in San Diego around 2000. There was a kid that couldn't have been more than 8 swearing like a sailor from the cheapseats at the heels.

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OOH OOH FIRST POST MY TURN MY TURN. Hello. Lurker since green board days.

 

House show at London O2 in late 2011. Mildly hammered before the show, I become new best friends with some equally hammered strangers and we decided to go into full obnoxious heel-cheering mode. One of the co-main events was Cena/Ryder/Kofi v Awesome Truth/Kevin Nash. My new compadres and I were extra stoked to see Big Sexy's delicious shining tresses and this, combined with our intoxication, meant that we lost all sense of decorum and perspective.

 

So when a kid of about 8 a few rows in front started a "Miz is awful" chant, five grown men all yelled "AAAAAAAWWWWWEEEEEESSSSSOOOOOOME" at him. Kid changed tack to "Miz is Awkward", to be met with another salvo of "AAAAAAAAWWWWWWEEEEEESSSSSSOOOOOOOME". At this point, this young'un stands on his seat turns to face us, puts his hands on his hips and yells "You need to learn some respect!".

 

Everyone bar me shuts up, but I'm so hyped up by the glorious sheen of Kevin Nash's mane that I go totally off the deep end and start yelling at a child, "YEAH? YEAH? COME UP HERE AND SAY THAT! COME TO *THIS* ROW!*

 

tl;dr - Too much alcohol makes me be horrible to children who are just trying to have a good time.

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Survivor Series 06 in Philly. A large group of kids right in front of us and loving Batista. It was him and Booker T for the title and obvious that Batista was going over. The whole match my group is cheering for Booker, kids are going crazy for Batista. We jokingly taunt with them about how Batista is going to lose getting them all riled up and cheering harder and harder.

Finally Batista wins and the kids just start yelling at us about how Booker T sucks and Batista is the champ as we gather our stuff and walk away sadly. They were high fiving each other and lovig that their favorite won and that we were sad.

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I love reading these stories of you guys messing with the kids, like ivp's post, it made the kids that much more passionate about their guy, it's kinda like playing a heel yourself, I don't know about you guys, it's more fun and most kids seem to enjoy it, especially when their guy goes over. 

 

I remember at WrestleMania 27, I was the only one in my section cheering on Punk against Orton, I even got ladies mad at me who thought Orton was hot. 

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Back in November, I had two tickets for a WWE show in Nottingham, so took my best friend who quite likes wrestling, but doesn't regularly watch it. The main event was Cena vs ADR, and my friend, who had gotten increasingly drunk during the show, started to boo Cena. The two kids in front of us started cheering for Cena even more loudly than they had previously. This in turn led my friend to continue booing, with the result being an odd battle of wills between two small kids and a drunken 31yr old. This continued until Cena hit a big move on Del Rio, upon which my friend nonsensically yelled "John Cena represents hundreds of years of Mexican oppression!". The two kids looked stunned, as if they had no idea how to process this chant, but the father of the kids was clearly pissing himself laughing.

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Survivor Series 06 in Philly. A large group of kids right in front of us and loving Batista. It was him and Booker T for the title and obvious that Batista was going over. The whole match my group is cheering for Booker, kids are going crazy for Batista. We jokingly taunt with them about how Batista is going to lose getting them all riled up and cheering harder and harder.

Finally Batista wins and the kids just start yelling at us about how Booker T sucks and Batista is the champ as we gather our stuff and walk away sadly. They were high fiving each other and lovig that their favorite won and that we were sad.

Loving Batista probably made them the world's shittiest teenagers by now

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There are fucking dinosaurs at Jesus Camp? Shit, I suddenly wish I was religious.

raptor_jesus_m9712.jpg

Jesus had to get around somehow.

Last time I recall sitting near kids was at a WWE show in San Diego around 2000. There was a kid that couldn't have been more than 8 swearing like a sailor from the cheapseats at the heels.

You stay classy, San Diego.

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I meant to post here earlier. My daughters are in a weird stage because they are both still young (9 and 6), but they also see behind the scenes because I'm promoting shows. So they see some heel assaulting me and talking smack at the show...and then those same guys are at my house and we are all getting along. I told them it was rigged almost immediately, after my oldest used to freak out (before little sister was born), when I was wrestling monstrous dudes like Cremator Von Slasher (6-10, 280) and The Mauler (350-plus pounds), and coming home rather banged up from hardcore matches...one of several reasons why my promotion is 99% blood-free, BTW.

 

My oldest daughter's big thing lately is "Is [insert wrestler name here] a nice person?" She probably asks this because she has seen some of the garbage I have to put up with local "superstars" on the indy level. Luckily, I've worked with a few people on their way up (Bryan, Emma), so that I can answer that they are nice people. Luckily, we don't watch TNA so she can't ask if Davey Richards is a nice person...

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