THE MONDAY NIGHT MASSACRE (2010)

twiztor · March 28

I've been re/watching TNA from the beginning. It's been a few years now and I've watched every Weekly PPV, Impact, (available) Xplosion, and monthly PPV since the company's premiere in 2002. Along with multiple periphery events (the World Wrestling All-Stars events from 2001-2003, the UWF house shows in 2006, the first couple years of ROH, ...), all in the build up to this finale. THE MONDAY NIGHT WARS 2.0!

October 2009, Hulk Hogan inks a deal with TNA Wrestling. They immediately begin hyping that this is the start of the new TNA, and vowing that they will be the #1 wrestling company in the world.

January 4, 2010, TNA puts on a special "Monday Night Impact" that goes head-to-head with WWE Raw. This will mark Hulk Hogan's on-screen debut with TNA and will essentially be a relaunching point for the company. This is a one week only deal, but if there's a modicum of success, they are looking at moving to Mondays permanently. In 2026 we know how that begins (March 8th sees a permanent move to Mondays) and how it ends (May 3rd ends that move). So i'm going to watch and review each episode over the next 5 months. Can Hulk Hogan rekindle the magic that he brought to WCW 15 years earlier?

Where we are now (spoilered for length):

Spoiler

TNA World Champion: AJ Styles (3 months in his first reign. Previously held the NWA World Title on 3 occasions.)
TNA Tag Team Champions: British Invasion (Brutus Magnus [Nick Aldis] & Doug Williams) (2 months, first reign)
TNA X-Division Champion: Amazing Red (3 months, second reign)
TNA Global Champion: Eric Young (2 months, first reign)
TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara [Victoria] (1 week, second reign)

2009 was a year where TNA saw some pretty great success and had a number of high profile signings. Most of its television was dominated by the Main Event Mafia (Kurt Angle, Sting, Scott Steiner, Booker T, and Kevin Nash) running roughshod over the roster. I, personally, am feeling a very heavy dose of Kurt Angle fatigue. He's been with the company for just over three years now and has become an overbearing presence on each and every show. He wrestles frequently, which is good (his matches are still very high quality), but he's also being given multiple backstage or in-ring talking segments EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. The M.E.M. angle in particular was about how these young punks (Styles, Joe, Daniels, etc.) have no respect and aren't as good as the vets. Despite that being patently false, it's also not how it was presented. Yet the heel M.E.M. still dominated them almost every time they faced off. It was tiresome. Luckily we've come out the other end, and TNA is trying to present those "young punks" now as the top of the heap, so there's been some positive movement.

Booker T joined in November 2007 (25 months ago) and is just kind of floating after the dissolution of the M.E.M.
Mick Foley joined in September 2008 (16 months ago) as the "Executive Shareholder" and has been involved in a feud/partnership with Abyss, but is growing increasingly paranoid about Hulk Hogan being brought in. So much so that said feud has been backburnered.
Bobby Lashley joined in April 2009 (8 months ago) and has been feuding with Scott Steiner over Bobby's wife Kristal.
Sting is freshly retired (or is he?) after losing to AJ Styles at Bound for Glory in October.

Jeff Jarrett has been off TV recently, but now he's back. We'll see what this new regime has in store for him.
Abyss is wrapping up his feud with Dr. Stevie Richards. Which has been entertaining but has suffered from being drawn out and losing focus lately.
Team 3D [Dudley Boyz] are the IWGP Tag Champions and have just teamed up with Rhino and Jesse Neal. I don't think they've settled on a name but there are many references to ECW and 'Hardcore' in their promos.
Eric Young is the head of "World Elite", a faction made up of non-Americans. He's good in his role but the group feels largely uninspired and everyone else in it is cannon fodder (except arguably the tag champs)
Matt Morgan sits in that upper midcard spot where he seems poised to become a top guy, but always falls short. He strikes me as a guy that tries hard but ultimately is unable to connect with the audience to really hit that spot.
the X-Division is an afterthought. They usually just have a multi-man match which is fun but meaningless.
MotorCity Machine Guns are awesome but have no direction. In fact, their gimmick right now is that TNA has no place for them.
The Knockouts division is stagnating, despite the influx of Tara and crowning of ODB as champ earlier in the year. The Beautiful People seem to have lost their direction, and Awesome Kong has been heavily de-emphasized.

i've already posted a couple of single show thoughts in the main topic, but am starting a separate thread where i will break down each show until the bitter end of this "war".

https://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/11684-march-2026-wrestling-discussion/&do=findComment&comment=1471632

https://deathvalleydriver.com/forum/index.php?/topic/11684-march-2026-wrestling-discussion/page/6/#comment-1471824

twiztor · March 28

January 4, 2010
"Time For A Change"

i watched this when it aired in 2010. i remember specifically one thing about it, which i will point out, and absolutely nothing else.

Spoiler

We are LIVE from the Impact Zone (Universal Studios, Orlando, Florida) for a special 3 hour Impact special!
Commentators Mike Tenay and Taz run down tonight's card:
a non-title X-Division Steel Asylum match
Tara defends her KO title vs. ODB
Rhino vs. Abyss - Barbed Wire Massacre
Beer Money vs. British Invasion - Full Metal Mayhem
Then they kick it to their new broadcast partner, Bubba the Love Sponge, interviewing some fans outside the arena earlier today. one guy has the TNA logo tattooed on his forearm, which seems like a poor choice. Lots of excitement for Hulk Hogan, including one guy in full red and yellow regalia.

Steel Asylum Match: Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Homicide, Kiyoshi, Jay Lethal, Consequences Creed, Suicide, and Amazing Red (c)
the steel asylum is the red birdcage, where to win you have to scale the cage and escape through the opening at the top. There's been a few already and they tend to be fine. Pretty cramped since the cage starts right at the ring apron and there's 8 guys in there at once.
everybody pairs off to start and we switch between the hard cam (which means you're looking through three of the six red sides of the cage) and the handhelds poking through the bars (which means they're kind of odd angles). I say that to mention that this would be tough to shoot and produce, and makes it hard to know what to focus on as a viewer. So what's happening in the match? move after move after move as we run through everything at a rapid pace. the tag teams don't really work together as you might expect. Crowd is eating it up and starts chanting "X-Div-is-ion" Homicide grabs an extendable baton out from his boots or tights or something and nails Amazing Red, and then his stablemate Kiyoshi, and the bell rings. This is labelled a non contest at just over 4 minutes. Then he climbs the cage but gets himself embarrassingly stuck at the top. He struggles to make it out but ultimately can't do it. The crowd now chants "This-Is-Bull-Shit", which feels like not only a huge shift from literally minutes ago, but also not how you want to kick off your debut in this timeslot.
Jeff Hardy comes through the crowd, making his TNA re-debut, and attacks Homicide with a chair and laying him out with a Twist of Fate on the ramp. Then Hardy climbs the cage and sits on the top. I'm not a Hardy

after the break, Jeff Hardy goes back behind the curtain and is greeted by Shannon Moore, so i guess this is also his re-debut. Hulk Hogan is en route to the Impact Zone, in his white limo with a police motorcycle escort.
Christy Hemme interviews Kevin Nash backstage. He's excited that Hogan is back. Nash says that his first mentor in the business was Hulk, which seems odd since they wouldn't have been in the same company until 1996 despite Nash being in the business since 1990. Nash confirms that he spoke to Hogan on the phone 5 minutes ago and he is "on his way, and he's not alone."

TNA Knockouts Championship: ODB vs. Tara (c) (with her pet tarantula, Poison)
these two faced off at the last pay-per-view, with Tara winning the championship. She has taken a strong "i'm here because i want to prove i can hang with the best women's division" stance, and ODB has taken a halfhearted heel turn. The two ladies start off quick and exchange strikes. Tara's version of Tajiri's Tarantula rope submission doesn't have the same torque, i think because she's so much taller relative to her opponents. ODB with a schoolgirl pin, and she grabs the tights. the camera keeps cutting away because Tara's buttcrack is exposed, but it gets the three count to crown a new champ! This match went about 2 and a half minutes. Post-match, Tara attacks ODB. Luckily, we did find time to plug Dixie Carter's twitter account for the fourth week in a row.

Backstage, a limo pulls up! It's not Hogan, but it is RIC FLAIR! he's making his TNA debut and shakes hands with Beer Money and some other wrestlers.
Christy Hemme now interviews fans outside. Mick Foley shows up but is barred from the building.

Bobby Lashley and Kristal come to the ring. Did you know Bobby is an undefeated MMA competitor? (He's 4-0 having recently defeated professional can Bob Sapp. Bobby gets big cheers from the crowd, so Kristal speaks for him and announces they're leaving wrestling because the fans are inbred. what the hell was this?
The beautiful people are backstage and will be playing a game of poker backstage. Lacey von Erich is a ditz and doesn't understand how to play. Neither does Madison Rayne apparently. They'll be playing all night long. There's a handful of 5 Hour Energy mini bottles on the table and nothing else. This is cringe.
Backstage, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman are here. "the band is back together". they also can't enter the arena. After a commercial break, the enter with the fans and take their front row seats, as if they purchased tickets. Hall is wearing a Project Born shirt (a Flint, Michigan gangster rap group that never saw any real success but have some decent songs)
Hulk Hogan's motorcade is closing in on the arena. They're just a few blocks away!

Hulk Hogan enters the Impact Zone! His theme music isn't a bad knockoff. It's a bit heartless, but certainly evokes his classic theme.
"You know something guys, I've been in the back all day long." this is the one piece of this show i remember. They spent the first hour of the show building anticipation for his debut, trying to recreate his entrance to WCW, and he blows it up in his first line. It blows my mind how you could completely undermine the entire narrative they've built in seconds. And he doubles down by saying "I've spent all day long talking with talent and hearing their ideas". It's flat out ridiculous. Hall and Syxx enter the ring, too sweet'ing with Hogan, and Hall drops a "hey yo" to a massive pop. Hall is here to party, but Hogan shuts that down. Syxx is also here to PAR-TAY! but Hogan tells them that this is a different time. He is here to "do the right thing for the business" Sure, Jan.
Kevin Nash comes down to play mediator with a wink towards what Hogan SAYS he'll do vs. what he'll ACTUALLY do. Hogan triples down that this is FOR REAL. Enter Eric Bischoff. He's on Hogan's side (SHOCKER!) this whole thing has lasted longer than both of tonight's matches, with entrances, COMBINED.
the former NWO Wolfpac leaves, and Bischoff literally rips up tonight's format. They have a new one written and give it to a random woman at ringside. They talk a bunch of platitudes about everyone needing to EARN their spot, from the World Champion to the janitor to the cameraman. A lot of "we're going to be #1" but with zero actual plans. And also no mention of a SINGLE TNA talent. No 'AJ Styles has been tearing it up', no 'Samoa Joe is a scary dude', not even a 'Kurt Angle is the best wrestler in the world'. Just a bunch of unspecified promises. Oh, and Sting shows up in the rafters.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Awesome Kong & Hamada vs Taylor Wilde & Sarita (c)
Hamada earned this title shot by singles wins over each of the champions. She selected Kong as her partner, which speaks to the lack of depth in this division. On the other hand, Sarita and Taylor have looked good together.
Backstage, the MotorCity Machine Guns have been laid out by an unseen attacker.
Huge spot where Sarita suicide dives and Taylor hits a top rope cross body, both onto their opponents on the floor. Hamada has taken control during the commercial break, so we come back to Taylor in trouble. It is short lived, as she gets the warm tag to Sarita less than a minute later. The champs go for stereo hurracanranas, but Kong blocks Sarita and butt splashes her. Taylor makes the save and Sarita fights back, but ultimately a Kong powerbomb/Hamada missile dropkick combo leads to the pin and new champs. Pretty decent match despite a couple of miscues and an enjoyable way to spend 6 minutes.

We check in backstage with the poker game. All three ladies are in their bras. They're about to play a hand of "seven card babe" when in walks the former Val Venis. He's wearing just a towel and the camera cuts as he starts to deal.
Mick Foley is back at the arena, trying a different tact to enter the arena. He is turned away again. The Nasty Boys show up at the same door and are also turned away (sidenote that a couple weeks ago one of the wrestlers said something about new guys coming in and hinted that if certain guys showed up, while referencing Pitty City, that it was over. i wonder what that was about?)

Raven & Dr. Stevie (with Daffney) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez
Raven & Stevie get the jobber entrance, while the other two guys have been getting pretty big pushes the last few months. This doesn't bode well and seems odd since Morgan and Hernandez have never teamed before. And apparently this is a #1 contenders match for no reason whatsoever. Matt Morgan gives the Carbon Footprint to Stevie in 45 seconds and it's all over.
The Raven-Stevie dynamic walks the line and ALMOST feels like an evolution of their characters. In the beginning, Raven was manipulative and abusive, and towards the end of their ECW run, Stevie rebels. Here, 10+ years later, Stevie has become an even bigger manipulator and turned up the violence, and has even recruited his former mentor to be HIS backup. Now, this isn't really explored at all, but what is there COULD be what they're trying to say. So i'm choosing to believe this narrative.

Backstage, Christy Hemme interviews "the Pope" D'Angelo Dinero. He'll be facing Desmond Wolfe [Nigel McGuinness] later tonight. Orlando Jordan shows up (holding a 5 Hour Energy) and they play off each other kind of, but it's not very interesting. Setting up a rivalry about respect.

Desmond Wolfe vs. the Pope
Wolfe immediately starts working over the arm. Pope tries to retaliate with his fluid striking style, but Wolfe's expertise gives him a constant shortcut so he never loses the advantage for long. Pope's flashy offense keeps him in the game and they play a game of counter-counter-counter, ultimately leading to Pope securing a small package in under three minutes for the surprise win. This was intriguing but i want to see a longer match between these two.

Backstage, Rhino is now laid out. Jeremy Borash is on the scene, but is pushed aside by Bubba the Love Sponge. He provides nothing of value and we move on without a second thought.
Borash is backstage to interview the TNA Champion, AJ Styles. Glad that two hours in to this big debut show, we finally get see the champ referenced. He'll be facing Kurt Angle at the next PPV in a couple of weeks. Bischoff inserts himself into the interview and said title defense is now tonight's main event!

Jeff Jarrett makes his way to the ring. He puts over the company, himself, and the talent. Even says that a Hulk Hogan-Dixie Carter-Jeff Jarrett partnership will lead to great things. This is a celebratory promo. Very much a rah-rah hype job. Hulk Hogan shows up on screen and shits on Jarrett. He gets booed. He says Jarrett ran this company into the ground. He praises Dixie Carter while the crowd chants "bullshit". What the fuck is this? Hogan says NOW all the "young guys" will get a real shot. And also that nobody cares about Jeff Jarrett or his accomplishments. This was wild.

Backstage, Christy Hemme interviews Christopher Daniels. Borash interrupts and Daniels storms off. Mick Foley forces his way into the backstage area.
Jeff Hardy is painting in the locker room while Shannon Moore looks on. They're about to meet with "the big man".

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe
Abyss will no longer face Rhino in a Barbed Wire Massacre. Bischoff's new format axes that and instead gives us Abyss vs. Joe. i was ready for a disappointment, but no complaints here. This is the first ever one-on-one meeting between the two.
Joe takes it to Abyss early with a flurry of strikes. They brawl around ringside. Lots of heavy strikes. Clotheslines and big boots and elbows galore. Joe jumps off the 2nd rope directly into a chokeslam. Behind the ref's back, Joe flattens Abyss with a steel chair and locks on the Kokina Clutch. Abyss struggles but ultimately taps out. This was fine. It only went five minutes but there is absolutely an interesting story that remains untold here.

Backstage, Bischoff trims an upcoming segment. Kristal Lashley wonders what Bischoff thinks of Bobby's announcement. Bischoff is nonplussed, so Kristal demands a meeting with Hulk Hogan. this was pointless.
Beer Money is laid out while Bubba the Love Sponge checks on them. "seriously guys, are you ok?"
backstage yet again, the Nasty Boys are still trying to get inside. Bubba shows up. I guess he's not worried about Beer Money anymore. He sneaks the Nasty Boys inside.
STILL backstage, Borash interviews Kurt Angle. He's here to FINALLY get his return title match, since he hasn't been granted that since losing the belt back in September.
Outside, Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore got what they wanted. Jeff's not so sure. Before he can elaborate, three screaming girls run up. Jeff gives them the painting he made earlier. This was also pointless.
Nasty Boys wander around backstage and raid the Team 3D locker room. Why does Team 3D have a locker room if they're not here?

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles (c)
crowd is split, with dueling "let's go Angle"/"let's go AJ" chants.
starts off quick, with some countering. AJ's speed is prevailing so Kurt takes a powder. LESS THAN A MINUTE IN, a masked man (who has been attacking AJ for a few weeks now) jumps AJ from behind that the ref doesn't see. Kurt chases the assailant away. the match resets.
Kurt finally catches AJ and secures the advantage after a buckle bomb. After the break, AJ begins to turn it around. He tries his springboard forearm, but Angle grabs him right into an overhead belly-to-belly. But AJ escapes the Angle Slam attempt. In return, Angle escapes a Styles Clash attempt and catapults AJ face-first into the turnbuckle. A series of German Suplexes wears AJ down but AJ again escapes the Angle Slam. But Angle is ready for the Pele attempt and turns it into an Ankle Lock. Quick escape, and this time he ISN'T expecting it. AJ whiffs on a big splash into the corner, and this time Angle LANDS the Angle Slam, but is only able to get a 2 count. They're throwing out their big bombs with wild abandon. AJ's springboard clothesline lands flush this time, but he's unable to capitalize as Angle catches AJ up top and tosses him to the mat. This time, Angle goes up top, but HE misses a big (frog?) splash. A Styles Clash doesn't net him a three count. They fight on the top rope, but Kurt prevails, pushing AJ to the mat and then landing his frog splash. AJ counters the Angle Slam into a DDT. AJ fights out of the Ankle Lock. Kurt Angle lands a HUGE Angle Slam off the top rope, but AJ kicks out at two. He fights out of the Ankle Lock again, and Kurt Angle kicks out of the Styles Clash again. He tries a third and we're back to the Ankle Lock. AJ with the springboard somersault splash. We do another set of Styles Clash-Ankle Lock, and then do it AGAIN. Then the springboard splash again and this time we finally get the three. This was a really good match for the first 2/3s but then it just got repetitive until the final ending. The bomb throwing worked in this instance since they've faced off so many times before, and even the finisher reversal made sense. The kickouts were egregious after awhile though. a solid 15 minutes and a good match to end the show on.
Ric Flair came out onto the entrance ramp at one point, watched the match for a minute or so, and then just....walked to the back. I guess we saw him go into AJ's locker room at some point in this show, but i must have missed that segment.
Now Hulk Hogan comes out to say that "those are the two greatest wrestlers in the business today". He puts over both guys. a stagehand whispers in Hulk's ear and Hogan goes running backstage. Mick Foley is wandering the halls and bursts in on the poker game, which seems like it hasn't changed in the last hour. Foley then charges into his former office, expecting to find Hogan, but Bischoff is waiting for him. Foley threatens Bischoff but the NWO Wolfpac beat him down and Hulk Hogan looks on.

Final TV Rating: 1.5 (this was a TNA record)

final thoughts:
what a mixed bag of a show. the main event was good. All other matches were entirely too short. There is a lot of tonedeafness going on between TNA/Dixie/Hogan and the audience. when you have a show that, on more than one occasion, the audience is fully supporting, only to moments later make a choice that turns the fans against you? that's terrible. Hogan shitting on Jarrett, after Jeff was putting over the company, is just baffling.

I understand this was a debut show and they wanted to spotlight Hogan's aura. And i also get wanting to really show this is a new era by having people debut. But this was WAY too much all at once. I count 12 guys who debuted: Hogan, Bischoff, Flair, Scott Hall, Syxx, Jeff Hardy, Shannon Moore, Orlando Jordan, Val Venis, Nasty Boys, and Bubba the Love Sponge. That's ridiculous. Spread that out over the coming weeks to show that "anything can happen" and that this wasn't a one-time, but lasting change. While we're at it, why the hell did we bring in Val Venis or Orlando Jordan at all? Venis was years past his popularity, and Jordan already failed to impress during his WWE run. I'm assuming the Nasty Boys will be fodder or jokes, and that Bubba the Love Sponge won't stick around long, but none of those guys need to be there at all either. And you could make the same argument for Hall and Syxx, but i'm an nWo mark so i'll allow it.

I'm curious what happens going forward, as I don't think i followed it after this show. Then again, maybe i did and i just forgot everything about it to save my own sanity. We'll see.

Gorman · March 28

12 minutes ago, twiztor said:

I've been re/watching TNA from the beginning. It's been a few years now and I've watched every Weekly PPV, Impact, (available) Xplosion, and monthly PPV since the company's premiere in 2002. Along with multiple periphery events (the World Wrestling All-Stars events from 2001-2003, the UWF house shows in 2006, the first couple years of ROH, ...), all in the build up to this finale. THE MONDAY NIGHT WARS 2.0!

The Natural · March 28

I still remember the first head to head. Bret Hart's first appearance for WWE in years going up against Fk Hulk Hogan/Fk Eric Bischoff on screen debut. Bret Hart back in WWE was so surreal, I've always loved Bret Hart.

twiztor · March 28

3 hours ago, The Natural said:

I still remember the first head to head. Bret Hart's first appearance for WWE in years going up against Fk Hulk Hogan/Fk Eric Bischoff on screen debut. Bret Hart back in WWE was so surreal, I've always loved Bret Hart.

during the main event of AJ-Angle, there was a crowd chant something along the lines of "who needs Bret" and i was confused until i remembered how WWE counterprogrammed this episode. i think it was the first time that Hart and Shawn Michaels had spoken since 1997.

SirSmUgly · March 28

AW YEAH

twiztor · March 31

January 14, 2010

This is the following week, and we are back on Thursdays since the previous episode was essentially a trial show for the upcoming "permanent" move. And either no episode name this week, or it was cut off the video file i have.

Spoiler

Generation Me vs. MotorCity Machine Guns
Hey, it's the Young Bucks making their TNA debut! Max (Matt) and Jeremy (Nick) have previously already been in ROH, and the crowd recognizes them immediately (we even get a small "Young Bucks" chant!). We get a half screen of "the band" arriving. quick pace to this one, with MMGs taking charge early and holding on to it. Just as i say that, we see Max with a pretty sweet springboard flipping cutter. And Jeremy with his backflip->backflip over the ropes to the floor. Generation Me takes over and really starts beating MMGs at their own game with the double teams. Taz: "who are these youngs bucks?". oh Taz, you're so clever. Just as it looks like MMGs have taken back control, Max with a fireman's carry front roll-through, Jeremy with a 450 splash, and Max following up with a moonsault. Super fun 5:00 match, and legit surprise upset win!

Backstage, the Nasty Boys have turned Team 3D's locker room into a pigsty. They've locked 3D out and taunt them through the door.
Hulk Hogan, as part of a hype package, teases a new signing that will debut this Sunday at Genesis.

Kurt Angle comes to the ring. He congratulates AJ Styles for being the better man. But only that once. And apparently we're getting a rematch at the PPV for some reason? I'm not complaining, but we just saw a pretty great match with a conclusive ending. Feels unnecessary. AJ comes to the ring and respectfully disagrees with Angle's conclusion that he (Angle) would be the ultimate winner. This Sunday's rematch will be Kurt Angle's last shot at AJ's World Title in 2010. This was worded very specifically, so if/when AJ loses the belt it's possible Kurt could challenge again. The mutual admiration society ends with an embrace. Angle leaves, but the masked man blindsides AJ Styles and beats him down. But this time he unmasks as Tomko.

Christy Hemme with the Band. Bubba the Love Sponge kicks her out. That's a downgrade. He asks about Foley. They joke around and ignore the question.

the Beautiful People (Velvet Sky & Madison Rayne) with Lacey von Erich vs. Hamada & Awesome Kong (c)
Angelina Love is ringside (back with the company after leaving a few months ago due to Visa issues), and TBP embrace her on their way past. This is NOT for the Women's Tag Team titles, by the way. Week 5 of plugging Dixie Carter's twitter account. TBP have Hamada in trouble for a while, but Kong gets the tag and just demolishes both ladies, pinning Madison after the big powerbomb. Quick inoffensive two minute match. Angelina Love comes in the ring to check on Madison, but then attacks both Velvet and Lacey. She's mad that she was replaced so quickly in the group.

AJ bursts into Hulk Hogan's office to find Bischoff. Bischoff admonishes him for not referring to the Hulkster as "Mr. Hogan". AJ demands a match with Tomko, tonight. Bischoff flaps his gums a lot and finally makes that our main event for tonight. I thought they were going to do some thing where Bischoff goads AJ into putting his title on the line, but that doesn't really happen.
after the break, Jeremy Borash enters ~~Hulk Hogan~~ Eric Bischoff's office. Bischoff chastises him for letting Foley into the building last week. Bischoff blames the beatdown that Foley received on JB. Then he browbeats him some more.
In walk Beer Money. They want revenge against "Bischoff's boys", The Band. Bischoff takes umbrage that they are "his boys". Beer Money demand a match with the Outsiders on Sunday. Bischoff takes James Storm's beers but won't give them an answer.

Lethal Consequences ("Black Machismo" Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed) make their way to the ring to face off against Team 3D.
Bobby Lashley jumps Lethal Consequences on their way to the ring. He beats them both soundly. i guess the match is off. i thought Lashley was leaving? Kristal calls out Bischoff and reiterates her demand for a meeting with Hulk Hogan. She says her husband will destroy everyone in his path, one by one, until she gets what she wants.
Out come Team 3D. Bubba is carrying an axe. i guess the match is happening after all, sort of. they hit a 3d on Creed and the referee counts the pin. Bubba rants about the Nasty Boys. Calls them old, fat, and irrelevant. Then they storm to the back, so we follow them. Bubba busts the door in with the axe (it is super unimpressive seeing them take an axe to a hollowcore door) to find the lockerrom trashed but empty. the Nasties jump them from behind and give 'em a beatin'.

Sean Morley, the former Val Venis, comes to the ring with a microphone. He's now a director/producer/distributor of films, rather than just starring in them. His double entandres are not very clever. the camerapeople keep cutting to women in the audience. He keeps droning on, but Christopher Daniels cuts him off by entering the ring. He welcomes Morley to TNA. Daniels "pitches a screenplay idea" to Morley and caps it off with a beatdown. Daniels talks about fighting his way back to this company and defending it against interlopers like Morley. wait, Daniels is the heel here? this was a babyface turn IMO. so of course Morley gets a comeback and Daniels retreats.

promo package to announce Tara vs. ODB in a 2/3 falls match.

Matt Morgan & Hernandez vs. Beer Money, Inc. (Robert Roode & "Cowboy" James Storm)
The big men pretty much dominate this match for 2 1/2 minutes until Rob Terry attacks Hernandez and i guess Beer Money got DQ'd. Wait, Tenay tells us it is a Double DQ for some reason. MM&H chase Rob Terry to the back, while The Band come in and beat up Beer Money. a flood of security come out, but The Band beat them up too. Bischoff enters and (during the break) warns Beer Money to be careful what they wish for. (after the break), Bischoff and The Band are still in the ring. Bischoff: "i have no choice but to make a match..." Hall: "where i drink all the beer!" Sting is in the rafters again.

COMMERCIAL: Jackie Chan's movie "the Spy Next Door", and then we TiVO through Five Hour Energy, Gamefly, and Quiznos (not the one with the gerbils or whatever) ads.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Samoa Joe
The Pope joins us for commentary. He calls Desmond a "ruffy" (dog) while Joe beats him with strikes. Desmond counters some holds into his own advantage and tries to beat Joe at the striking game. Joe on the top rope locks on a choke, but Desmond steps away and turns it into a Tower of London. pretty nice finish but too short. Nobody should be pinning Samoa Joe in 3 minutes. Desmond: "Pope, if i can beat Joe, think about what i can do to you." Pope "i'm gonna bring my whole congregation and we're gonna get funky like a donkey. That means i'm gonna be the *****! who's gonna kick your ****!" i honestly am not sure what he was saying beyond the bleeps.

Ric Flair arrives in a limo. Glad he was able to show up with 15 minutes left in the show. He's going to join the commentary table for the main event.
Jeff Jarrett and his attorney burst into Hogan & Bischoff's office. Jarrett wants to talk about HIS company. I think Jarrett's trying to lean into the heel aspect of this, but then Bischoff runs his mouth and turns him back into a babyface. Jarrett, in his heel way, challenges Hulk's authority. Hulk threatens to beat him up and Jarrett & his attorney retreat.

TNA World Title: Tomko vs. AJ Styles (c)
Jeremy Borsh with the ring introductions, but AJ jumpstarts it by attacking Tomko. Ric Flair says he "likes the intensity, but doesn't know much about the history of the relationship". i guess he missed the video package that recapped it earlier. Kurt Angle enters the ringside area now too. Flair has a lot of respect for him, and Kurt embraces Flair at the booth. Flair says he came to TNA because of Hulk Hogan. the match is pretty slowly paced for these two fellas, so there's not much to talk about. the have traded the advantage a couple times but only land a move/strike or maybe two before the next lull. AJ fights back and lands the Pele kick for an out-of-nowhere win in 4 minutes. Post-match, Tomko attacks AJ, but Angle runs down and makes the save. Angle offers a handshake, but AJ walks away and storms to the back as Ric Flair looks on.

TV Rating: 1.3, which is on the high end of what they were doing about a year ago.

this episode was basically just a rush job to put together a PPV this Sunday. the Young Bucks/MMG match to kick off the show was really the only bright spot. the face/heel dynamics are very cloudy right now. Hogan is supposed to be the savior of the company, a face, but Bischoff is more of a tweener, in that he is a smarmy douche but makes face-ish decisions, but also he's coming across very underhanded. And AJ was the respectful champ a week ago, but now he's a self-important jerk. when did that happen?

Already not a fan of Samoa Joe beating Abyss in a nothing match last week but losing to Desmond Wolfe in a nothing match this week. And the X-Division is so useless, they only mention the division once- when they're running down the PPV card and say that Amazing Red will defend against a mystery opponent. And why are we sacrificing Beer Money (who face the Outsiders, btw) to the temple of Matt Morgan and Hernandez?

eh, maybe i'm being too harsh. between the holiday break and the Monday Hogan kickoff, it could very well be a situation where they were just compressed for time and needed to take big swings. I'll reserve hateful judgment.

twiztor · April 4

TNA GENESIS
January 17, 2010

Spoiler

We are LIVE from the Impact Zone at Universal Studio in Orlando, FL
Welcome to the first TNA PPV of the Hulk Hogan-Eric Bischoff era! This could have used at least one more week of build, as i said after the previous Impact, because there was a very rushed build to pretty much every match that's scheduled for tonight.

We get a pretty standard video package to open. the theme is "i was born to be a champion" and "Who wants it more". It was fine. So, of course, we kick off with Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff coming down to the FOUR sided ring. Big Hogan fan contingent in attendance tonight. He welcomes the fans to the "brand new Impact Zone", which gets boos and a "we want six sides" chant. Hogan refers to that as a "playpen ring" and the crowd has massively turned on him. We are 7 minutes into the show. Bischoff tells the fans "get used to chance, cuz there's a hell of a lot more coming your way!" Hogan ends with a "what you gonna do, Vince McMahon, when TNA comes for you, brother! or sister!" and gets most of the crowd back to his side.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red (without Don West) vs. Mystery Opponent
his opponent is ~~THE~~ Brian Kendrick. OK, i didn't know what to expect from this one, but it should be a banger. Kendrick works some submission holds early, mostly focusing on the arm. They play this as Kendrick being prepared for this match while Red had to come in blind. Red picks up the pace in a big way and the crowd explodes. Kendrick matches him and is able to keep the advantage, coming back to control holds. But Red doesn't give up and resorts to higher and higher risk moves- notably a top rope somersault plancha to the floor, but even a running Oklahoma Roll and top rope missile dropkick look fantastic. Kendrick sidesteps a leaping tornado DDT attempt and ties up Red with a single leg crab and then to a modified STF. Red escapes to the ropes. Kendrick is getting visibly frustrated that he's not able to hold this kid down. Red with a cool step-up corner kick to the back of Kendrick's head, and lands a springboard Code Red to score the pinfall and retain his title! This was an EXCELLENT 9 minute match.

Hogan and Bischoff meet with "the Band" backstage. Hogan says that yeah, they're "4 Life", but now this is "4 Real". They tell the band that they will need to prove themselves just like everyone else, and this might be their only chance. Hall & Syxx play rock-paper-scissors since i guess their match tonight will be under Wolfpac rules. Syxx wins.

~~Val Venis~~ Sean Morley vs. ~~Christopher~~ Daniels (apparently with no first name anymore)
before his opponent comes out, the crowd chants "we want wrestling", which doesn't quite make sense, especially after the last match. Then ~~Venis~~ Morley starts talking about his newest production and i don't know what's going on here. Daniels comes out and says this is about WRESTLING, to a huge crowd pop. But then he badmouths the crowd (a heel move) and specifically Brooke Hogan (calling her "blondie") (a face move IMO). He flips ~~Venis~~ Morley off and the match starts quick. ~~Venis~~ Morley is in noticably worse shape than his WWE peak, which isn't surprising since it's been 10 years since his debut, but also curious as to what the upside of signing him is. The match is fine, but there's also nothing interesting to say about it. Daniels continues to act as a heel, but the crowd is behind him 100%, so it just leads to an awkward dynamic. And, to be fair, this puts ~~Venis~~ Morley in a tough spot where his style is never going to be the type to win over a crowd like this. Daniels locks on the Koji Clutch and the crowd chants "TAP! TAP! TAP" at ~~Venis~~ Morley, which cements my point that he isn't able to even build tension here. ~~Venis~~ Morley with a half nelson slam, blocks a hurracanrana, then slips on the top rope but ultimately lands the Money Shot for the win at nine minutes. Brooke Hogan (who is sitting front row, of course) celebrates from her seat. The crowd chants "SIT DOWN BROOKE".

2/3 Falls Match for the Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB (c)
First Fall: Tara dominates the first few minutes with strikes. ODB starts to make a comeback through her toughness, but Tara gets a rollup pin in less than 3 minutes. ok then.
Second Fall: ODB comes back with a fury. The camera keeps focusing on a bald guy in the front row, that Tenay tells us is a member of the Tamp Bay Bucs. He's a few seats down from Brooke Hogan. Between them is apparently is N'SYNC's Joey Fatone. This will (hopefully) conclude our 'Irrelevant Celebrities' segment. ODB has the advantage with her rough 'n' tumble style and then she gets an extended bodyscissors segment. ODB loses one of the cups in her top so she is now lopsided. Tara with the Widow's Peak to score the second fall and regain the Knockouts Championship. This fall goes about 7 minutes, and i must say that this is an interesting (not necessarily in a good way, but i'm willing to see where it goes) booking choice. ODB has been presented as one of the top ladies, so losing two straight falls is odd. Especially after basically getting rolled in fall 1.

World Tag Team Titles: Matt Morgan & Hernandez vs. British Invasion (c)
the Brits have been overmatched in most of their matches as of late, retaining almost exclusively through cheating. Morgan and Hernandez have been bulldozing everyone in singles, but have only had i think one real tag match together. That doesn't stop Tenay from hammering home how great they've been working together. And that is how the match starts, with the big men dominating until the Brits cheat and double team Hernandez. Brutus/Doug do the assisted abdominal stretch spot, which i note as i haven't seen that in quite a while. it doesn't go on long and doesn't get much of a crowd reaction and the ref catches it almost immediately and kicks the connection. Matt Morgan gets the hot tag and destroys both men for a while while Nick Hogan (also at ringside) cheers on. Brooke is standing up again and the crowd was right earlier- now that i see it, it is very distracting. SIT DOWN! Nick is even more of an eyesore, but he's seated near the corner of the ring while Brooke is closer to center. Oh yeah, there's a match going on. it's pretty decent for what it is. Morgan tosses these dudes around and looks impressive, but the Brits got their characters and abilities somewhat over at least. At about the nine minute mark (is this becoming a pattern?), Morgan lands the Carbon Footprint and they score the tag team titles.

Backstage, Bobby Lashley forces his way into Bischoff's office and shoves Abyss out of the way to confront Eric. Abyss beats his ass and lays him out after smashing him the in the head with a computer monitor. Earlier, Tenay told us that Lashley refused to compete tonight, but Bischoff berates Abyss for ruining the semi-main event. Abyss kowtows to Hogan. Hogan tells Abyss that he'll still have a match tonight, but not to worry about who it will be. And to leave the hardcore stuff out of it.

Desmond Wolfe (with an unnamed female valet) vs. the Pope
Taz raves about Wolfe's entrance attire, but it looks like a glorified tracksuit to me. This is a rematch from the 1/4 show. I enjoyed that match and asked to see it again, so here we are. Pope kisses Wolfe's valet on the cheek, which prompts a "Pope be pimpin" chant from the crowd. Wolfe and the valet don't react at all.
Wolfe does a quick headstand in the corner move, and Pope attempts to return the favor with his version of the same thing, but Wolfe shoves him to the outside. Nice turnaround. Pope ties Wolfe up in the ropes in a simplified Tarantula, which is a novel attempt but which lacks the punch of its predecessor. Wolfe suckers Pope in and starts to take the advantage with his superior submission skills, working over the legs pretty heavily with a single leg crab, a standing figure four, and a single leg Indian deathlock with a bridge. He also snapmares Pope so that his leg snaps against the bottom rope. Very nice sequence of holds and moves. Pope fights out of the Tower of London and takes over with an STO and package DDT as we pass the nine minute mark, breaking the streak. Wolfe regains by focusing on the leg again, wrapping Pope around the ropes and turnbuckle, basically daring the ref to disqualify him. Pope tries to fight back with his superior striking, but Wolfe has effectively turned that leg into a flashing bullseye. Pope with a couple of small packages, which i bought as the finish, but they weren't. Wolfe tries his corner headstand again, but Pope counters by pulling him into a big sitout slam (he does this fairly regularly but i don't know if it has a name). He sets up his big double knee attack (the DDE- "D'Angelo Dinero Express"), but is unable to land it due to the accumulated damage. Wolfe capitalizes on the momentary weakness with a devastating clothesline to secure the win at just under 14 minutes. great story, good action. very enjoyable match.

Jeremy Borash backstage hyping up the World Title match. As he's about to get to the point, Bischoff shows up and tells him that he's taking JB off TV. Bisch stands there and introduces Christy Hemme, who interviews Ric Flair. There is a short Bischoff-Flair staredown. Flair is here in TNA. but he won't tell us why.

The Band (Kevin Nash & Syxx) vs. Beer Money
the video package hyped up that this will be Nash and Hall, but as we saw earlier, Syxx won a game of rock-paper-scissors, so i guess specifics don't matter. Notably, Hall does NOT come out with the Band.
Syxx and James Storm to start. They've only referred to him as "Sean Waltman" up until this point, but they're now exclusively calling him "Syxx-Pac" and his gear top just says "Pac". Taz does slip up and call him "X-Pac" a couple times (and acknowledges/jokes about it). Storm tosses Syxx around a bunch until he gets the tag to Nash. Surprisingly, Roode gets the big man off his feet. Apparently, Beer Money spit beer in Nash's face pre-match, but the cameras didn't catch it. The Band have an extended beatdown on James Storm until Roode finally gets the hot tag. Nash whips Roode into the corner, but Storm catches him with a enziguri-style kick that looked pretty stiff. Hall meanders onto the entrance ramp, distracting Beer Money. Nash with a chokeslam on Storm as Hall slaps a fan. Syxx tries to hold him back and Nash sets up the powerbomb, but he eats a superkick and Roode rolls through for a shock pin at (what else?) the nine minute mark. the shock part is that Nash is the one that ate the pinfall.

Backstage, Hogan and Bischoff are disgusted by the Band's actions. Hogan says he's going to solve that problem this week on Impact. Bischoff praises Hogan for how he handled the Abyss situation then they laugh about it, which is inconsistent with everything else so far.

Abyss vs. ~~Bobby Lashley~~ Mystery Opponent
This Mystery Opponent is Mr. Ken~~nedy~~ Anderson. I missed most of Kennedy's run in WWE as i wasn't watching SmackDown at the time, but i remember a good amount of hype around him, and specifically his entrance. He brings that same (or at least a reasonable facsimile) entrance to TNA, and the crowd laps it up. Taz and Tenay praise Hogan for bringing in Anderson.
Anderson offers his hand to Abyss, but as Abyss reaches for it, Anderson slaps him across the face. Abyss returns the favor, sending Anderson to the mat. They trade blows for awhile, and Anderson starts working over Abyss' right arm by slamming it on the ring apron, and the guard rail, and the entrance ramp (this is the elevated style ramp that extends directly to the ring). The pace has slowed tremendously, and the fighting at ringside is uninspired. The crowd chants "OVERRATED" towards Anderson, which is another big shift since they popped for his debut and participated in his entrance ritual. We're around the seven minute mark when Abyss starts fighting back, and we get some energy as Anderson stumbles backwards into a side slam. Anderson fights out of the Shock Treatment and lands a neckbreaker for two. Anderson jumps off the ropes, but gets caught in a chokeslam for a two of his own. Anderson fights a Shock Treatment again, but Abyss is able to hold on and lands a nasty looking one. Abyss grabs a chair (remember that Hogan told him to not go hardcore) but as the ref pulls it away, Anderson unveils some Brass Knucks and drills Abyss in the head with them for the three count. This was about 11 minutes but would have been better if it was tonight's traditional nine.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles (c)
reminder that this is Kurt Angle's last chance in 2010 for AJ's World Title. they are careful to add both the 2010 and AJ's qualifiers each and every time they reference this stipulation.
stalemate early as neither of these men are able to gain a definitive advantage over their longtime rival. Kurt tries to force AJ to play the wrestling game, but to little avail as they are trading takedowns and armlocks. AJ starts to pick up the pace, but Kurt stays step-for-step. Even a Greco-Roman Knucklelock can't secure either man the upper hand. We're around the seven-minute mark when AJ begins to put a series of moves/holds together, but he's still unable to score more than a one count. Kurt sidesteps an AJ jump to the outside and scores big with a heavy clothesline. That one mistake by AJ has now allowed Kurt to take over, landing suplexes and keeping body control. Even that is relatively short lived, and neither competitor looks to have the match in hand at any given point. Ric Flair makes his way down to ringside, stonefaced and looking on.
The intensity keeps building. AJ with a dive over the top rope to the floor. Angle with a huge german suplex. AJ with the Pele. Angle ducks a couple clotheslines and lands a lariat of his own. Angle avoids the Styles Clash. AJ escapes before Kurt can lock in the Ankle Lock. Angle avoids the moonsault reverse DDT to belly-to-belly suplex AJ into the corner. AJ off the ropes with a hurracanrana but misses the springboard 450. Angle with the Olympic Slam but it only nets him a 2 count. Angle misses the big moonsault, but counters a Styles Clash attempt into the Ankle Lock.
AJ tries a top rope Styles Clash, but Angle fights it off and lands a (non top rope) Styles Clash of his own! Still only good for two. Angle Slam is countered into a DDT. AJ with an Angle Slam but also only gets two. AJ up top, but Angle rushes up into a top rope Angle Slam. Yet another two count. Both men are visibly frustrated that they can't put their opponent down. Kurt drops the straps and secures the Ankle Lock. AJ desperately reaches for the ropes, but Angle pulls him back. AJ kicks, but Angle holds on. Ric Flair pulls the ref out as AJ taps out. Flair slides the belt in to AJ and tells him to nail Kurt with it. He does, Flair rolls the ref in, and AJ retains. Flair and AJ embrace in the ring. AJ's ranting to the camera that it's all about him. He celebrates and WOOOs with Ric Flair. what the hell was that?
This was an awesome match and really felt like two equally matched athletes at the top of their game, competing for the top prize. I really liked how it continued to ramp up over the almost 30 minutes. so, in typical TNA fashion, it's ruined by the finish.

i was going to put in the PPV buyrate here, to mirror the TV viewership, but apparently those numbers have never been available.

there were some very good matches on this card. the X-Division title, Wolfe/Pope, and of course AJ/Angle (discounting the last minute). the ring change was disappointing, but not a major sticking point for me. The abundance of new/former WWE talent was overwhelming. I wouldn't have a problem with most of these names in a vacuum (well, except Val Venis. That signing is just baffling). But in such a short timeframe, it has caused problems on two fronts- deemphasizing current TNA talent, and also diminishing the impact of any of these guys on their own.

No Samoa Joe. No MotorCity Machine Guns. No Jay Lethal/Consequences Creed. No Homicide. No Suicide. No Team 3D/Rhino/Jesse Neal. No Beautiful People. No mention whatsoever of Eric Young and his World Elite. No Jeff Jarrett. Even other big names that have been here longer aren't immune to this. No Booker T. No Scott Steiner. No reference to Mick Foley.

The face/heel dynamics are wrong all over the place. But on the plus side, the streak of plugging Dixie's twitter account comes to an end.

twiztor · April 7

January 21, 2010
"AJ Styles....WOOO"
~~i guess we're done with episode names now. i never paid much attention to them, but i rather liked that they started with one each week.~~ i went back and checked after the 1/28 episode and i obviously just missed the episode title. my bad.

Spoiler

We start with a recap of Genesis (hilariously including a clip of the crowd chanting "we want six sides". and ending with Flair and AJ both "WOO"ing like idiots.

Flair and AJ, wearing tuxes and surrounded by three women, exit a limo. Flair: "how you feeling, champ?" AJ: "like a champ"
Ric Flair, with two of the three ladies, comes to the ring. There are three reasons he came to TNA: 1) He hates Hulk Hogan. And their lifelong feud will never end until they finish it here, in a TNA ring. 2) People have asked him for 20 years who the next "Nature Boy" will be, and the answer was NOBODY. Until 6 months ago when he started watching TNA, and a month ago he discovered AJ Styles. (AJ has been featured prominently in the company for over 7 years and has been the champ since September). Then he rambles about meeting a beautiful woman at a bar or restaurant or something. it was Dixie Carter. what the fuck is this? He doesn't mention #3 but introduces AJ "Stylin' and Profilin'" Styles. His promo isn't great. He turned heel because he feels like he doesn't get the credit in TNA that he deserves. I feel like this is ringing extremely hollow, since AJ is CONSTANTLY praised as one of the best, and absolutely one of the people the company was built on and around.
Kurt Angle, also in a suit, comes out to the stage. He's flanked by Hulk Hogan (dressed all in black- black pants, black tank top, black sunglasses, and black doorag). Hulk rescinds the stipulation that Angle won't get another title shot. He says that if Flair interferes, Hulk will punch Flair in the nose, DQ AJ, and give the belt to Kurt. Oh, and the title shot is tonight. Look, i've praised the Kurt-AJ matches, but three times in three weeks is a bit much.
[edited to add: Hogan also cribbed Angle's "It's Real. It's Damn Real" catchphrase. i figured i should add that, since it had become a recurring theme in Sir Smelly's Nitro thread.]

Mick Foley enters the backstage area and wrecks shit.

Tag Team Titles: British Invasion vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez
Brits swarm Morgan to start, which nets them the advantage for less than 30 seconds. They're telling an abbreviated version of the same story they told a few days ago. The crowd is all about it tho. Hernandez lands a BRUTAL move, holding Doug Williams face-up on his shoulder and dropping him onto his head, pretty much DDT style. Rob Terry comes down with his "Feast or Fired Briefcase" and tosses it to Magnus, but Hernandez ducks and Brutus nails his own partner. an acceptable four minute match that didn't really add anything new. The Brits argue amongst themselves until Mick Foley runs in with a steel chair and lays all three of them out. He speaks directly into the camera, telling Bischoff to schedule an appointment, because he's coming for him later tonight!

clips of Bubba the Love Sponge's radio show, where they "cold call" Jeff Jarrett in a segment that i'm sure was totally not planned. Jarrett says TNA was just fine before Hogan and crew came in. Then he hangs up.

In Hulk Hogan's office, he tells Bischoff that they need to handle two things. #1: Cactus Jack. Bischoff says he'll handle that. As for #2, Hogan says he'll handle that. Kevin Nash enters. Hogan tells Nash that "the other crap needs to stop", referring to Hall and Syxx with the rock-paper-scissors and slapping a fan. Nash will be teaming with Eric Young tonight since he's under contract. Nash leaves, and Hogan says "that party's over, man"

Orlando Jordan (holy hell i already forgot he debuted back on 1/4) vs. the Pope
Jordan strut dances to the ring in a dark gold rope. Christy Hemme interviews Pope backstage pre-match. He says he's been watching Whoopi Goldberg movies all night and i think is trying to say Jordan looks like her? I don't get it, but OK. Oh, Taz takes it a step further and this is because they both have braids. Was that really so uncommon in 2010?
They wrestle a little bit, it's fine. OJ slaps the taste out of Pope's mouth, so Pope takes him down and pounds on him a bit. Then he backhands OJ and lands his sliding dropkick/attack where he goes through the ropes to the outside. As he re-enters, Jordan attacks the bad knee of Pope and lands his version of Kanyon's Flatliner. Wait, that's the finish? We set this match up three weeks ago and we get three minutes?

Backstage, Christy Hemme interviews Kurt Angle. It makes him sick what Flair has done to AJ, and he's going to serve up some justice tonight.
Bubba calls Jarrett again. this is not entertaining. Jarrett now questions whethe Hulk Hogan's contract is what put WCW out of business. Jarrett hangs up on him again. why is this on TV?
Back in Kevin Nash's locker room, Eric Young wants to know if Nash is with HIM, or with THEM. Nash says he's down to take care of business tonight.

Bubba/Jarrett, Part 3. Jarrett calls out the crowd's response to Hogan and the four sided ring. Bubba asks Jarrett to have a sit-down without his lawyer. Jarrett says he'll do that if Bischoff also isn't present. Let me ask again. What is the point of this?

In Hulk Hogan's office, Bobby Lashley is here to talk to Bischoff, man to man. He says that he thinks things have gotten out of hand and that he's here to wrestle. Bischoff verbally felates Lashley, then says he'll talk to Hulk and will give Lashley an answer next week. so, the last few weeks of promos went nowhere and meant nothing. got it.

Madison Rayne vs. Angelina Love
the Beautiful People Explode~! a reminder that Angelina Love turned face last week and surprise returned and attacked the Beautiful People. both of these ladies are serviceable, but neither is anything great. Angelina dominates and wins in less than a minute with a bicycle kick. Then she rips the top off Madison and chokes her with it, prompting Velvet and Lacey to come to the ring. Lacey looks awkward teeing up to attack Angelina. Then Velvet looks just as awkward raring back to hit Velvet, but then pretending that she wasn't going to do just that. The timing is AWFUL on this beatdown segment.

Bubba the Love Sponge backstage with Hall and Syxx. Syxx flubs his line, which prompts a "easy for you to say. Take another hit, Cheech" and says they're here to get gen-u-wine TNA contracts since Hulk is their buddy.
after the commercial break, Hogan and Bischoff come to the ring. Hogan says they have momentum (umm, do they?) and things are moving quick, but there's less than a handful of things that need to be addressed early. Hogan's tired of the gaga and wants to see these guys wrestle. "we're not fooling around in TNA." The combined 8 minutes of ring time in over an hour of this show says otherwise.
Hall, Nash, and Syxx come out, but Hogan tells them to stop on the entrance ramp. He tells Hall and Syxx to hit the road. I'm genuinely unsure if this is supposed to be a face or heel move.
Mick Foley storms out. Bischoff sends Foley to get rid of him.
Backstage, Hall and Syxx are still facing off with security. Nash says he'll take care of it and "fix it".

Nasty Boys vs. Kevin Nash & Eric Young
reminder that Eric Young is the Global Champion, which means pretty much nothing since his "World Elite" is seemingly non-existent, and this is the first time EY's been mentioned on TV in three weeks. And now he's the least important person in this match, between the Nasties/3D feud and the whole "the band" situation. But hey, the Dixie Carter twitter plug is back!
This is Jerry Sag's first match on TV since 1997 (unless you count the XWF, which you shouldn't!), so of course we start off with him beating up EY. Nash gets the tag and takes it to Knobbs. EY with a big elbow drop, but the Nasties blindside Nash and take him out at ringside. then they proceed to double team EY and Sags pins him with a pumphandle slam at about the three minute mark.

during the commercial break, Team 3D lay out the Nasty Boys backstage.

Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson struts to ringside with an open suit jacket over an untucked, no-tope-button shirt, jeans, and... sneakers. He's not here in TNA because the fans told him they want him in TNA. He's here in TNA because Hulk Hogan called him personally and offered him an opportunity. He's not here to run his mouth like everyone else (irony truly is dead) but actions speak louder than words. Abyss sneaks in behind him while Anderson is badmouthing him. He just keeps standing there while Anderson is flapping his gums. Abyss finally acts, landing a big punch and a running corner charge before Anderson escapes.

Backstage, Abyss apologizes to Bischoff. Bischoff says he doesn't like Abyss, but Hogan does, and that's why Abyss still has a job. I'm not sure what the point of that was, but Bischoff enters Hogan's office, where Foley is being restrained by five security officers. Bischoff dismisses the security. Foley tells him that he hates what Eric's done to "his" company. Bischoff dismisses the cameraman and closes the door as Foley raises his voice to a yell.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles (c) (without Ric Flair)
AJ jumps Angle before the bell. Whereas the story of the last two matches were that these were two equally talented competitors, with neither able to gain a meaningful advantage, the story of this match is that Kurt Angle is the best wrestler in the world, while AJ can only stay competitive with lucky shots and questionable manuevers. They sort of tried to play it that Kurt is out for revenge and to prove that he was robbed at the PPV, but myonly takeaway is that AJ isn't as good as he says he is. AJ is now utilizing the Figure 4, just in case you hadn't gotten the point that AJ is now Flair's protege. They still play the counter-counter-counter game, but it feels hollow since AJ keeps coming out on the losing end of each exchange. AJ escapes out of an Ankle Lock and sinks in one of his own, and the bell rings. Wait, are they now replaying the Montreal Screwjob?
Hulk Hogan comes out to ringside. Kurt is ranting at him, saying he'll go back to WWE. He doesn't need this shit. He quits, and then spits on Hogan. wow, they went all-in on Montreal. the crowd chants "you screwed Kurt". this is fucking awful.

post-match, Kurt rants and raves around ringside. Hilariously, he steals Mike Tenay's office chair. He swings the chair against the set a couple times and storms to the back. Meanwhile, a bloodied Bischoff comes into the ring and fires Mick Foley.

Final TV Rating: 1.26

this show pretty much sucked. When the best match is a tag team rematch featuring the makeshift team of Matt Morgan and Hernandez all but squashing their opponents, you know it's a rough one. This was pretty much the worst way to run this main event possible. You made your homegrown champ look weak, your challenger "quit" the company, and rehashing Montreal, 13 years later, in a six minute match is just asinine. And for what? I can't even begin to guess at what a potential payoff for this angle is.

i had my doubts that Hogan and Bischoff coming in would sour me on TNA so immediately, and i tried to keep an open mind, but here we are. this is week THREE. we won't even hit the move to Mondays for another like six weeks. somebody put me out of my misery.

Edited April 7 by twiztor

twiztor · April 8

January 28, 2010
"Screwed"

i woke up this morning and thought i might have been too harsh on this latest Impact, so i refreshed my brain and am going to try to go into this one with a clear mind.

and hey, the episode title is back. [i went back and checked the 1/21 episode, and i must have just missed it. i've updated the previous review]

Spoiler

Our opening promo is a rehash of the Montreal Screwjob rehash, and i'm already questioning my mental state. It is about now that i also feel like i should mention that Impact has a new startup video. other than AJ, i think there's a quick shot of Amazing Red, but there is otherwise no X-Division representation.

oh good, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff are going to kick this episode off by coming down to the ring. Mike Tenay promises to clear up all the controversy from last week. And we'll be kicking off some qualifying matches for an upcoming tournament. Hulk calls Mick Foley out to the ring. So, he's not fired? Taz asks the question on my mind, "if Foley was fired, why is he here this week?". Hogan wants to work out some issues and "nip them in the butt". Bischoff says there's nothing to work out, he already took care of it. Foley says it's obvious that he didn't touch Eric last week, because if he would have attacked Eric, he wouldn't be able to stand here today. Hulk tells Foley to either work it out, or walk out. And it's up to Eric. That literally doesn't make any sense.

backstage, Jarrett and Bubba the Love Sponge enter the arena.
a different backstage, and Christy Hemme is with Ken Anderson. He berates her and says it's MR. Anderson. He issues an open challenge to anyone in TNA. He's praying to God that it's Abyss, but it doesn't matter since he will be the only one anybody remembers at the end of the night.

Mike Tenay and Taz announce the "8 Card Stud" tournament, with the winner becoming the #1 contender. The qualifying matches will also determine a sort of ranking system for the wrestlers.
8 Card Stud Qualifying Match: Desmond Wolfe (with a now named valet, Chelsea) vs. ~~Val Venis~~ Sean Morley
DIXIE CARTER TWITTER PLUG
~~Val Venis~~ Sean Morley tries a hammerlock, but Wolfe's submission expertise means that's a bad idea, as he's able to turn the tables pretty quickly. ~~Val Venis~~ Sean Morley moves to the power game, landing a couple clotheslines. It works for a minute, until Wolfe grabs a limb and transitions from hold to hold. ~~Val Venis~~ Sean Morley with a half nelson slam, then goes up top. Wolfe catches him and hits the Tower of London in a pretty good 3 1/2 minute match.

Jeff Jarrett, sans attorney, enters Hulk's locker room. Eric Bischoff is there and doesn't leave, despite last week's deal. Jarrett apologizes for the situation 2 weeks ago, and offers to repair those bridges. He's willing to start at the very bottom of the ladder and will make amends. Bischoff suggests that Jarrett answer Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson in tonight's main event. Jarrett reluctantly agrees, despite that he hasn't wrestled in 7 months.

Backstage, Flair, AJ, and a woman are there looking at AJ's suit collection. They're apparently taking a 30 day vacation. Flair tells the woman to call her friends for him. Gross.

8 Card Stud Qualifying Match: ~~Christopher~~ Daniels vs. Hernandez
Daniels jumps Hernandez immediately when Hernandez enters the ring, even before he can get the tag team title off. That advantage dies quickly, as Hernandez overpowers him with the quickness. stalling suplex. overhead belly-to-belly toss. Daniels with an eye gouge, and then he uses his quickness to keep Hernandez reeling. This also is short lived. Hernandez goes up top, but Daniels catches him. H tosses him aside but misses a big splash. H gets Daniels up, and drops him with that same shoulder->DDT move he used last week. Fun 4+ minute match.

Mike Tenay welcomes to the ring both the Nasty Boys and Team 3D. They will be facing off at the next PPV for the first time ever. Taz tells us Nastyville is 2 or 3 miles south of Parts Unknown. Bubba comes out wearing a Ribera Steakhouse jacket. They must have lost the IWGP tag titles a few weeks ago. The Nasties are in the ring, but security stops Team 3D from entering. Bubba complains that the Nasty Boys have sneak attacked the Dudleys and asks "where the hell have you been for the last 10 years". Sags: "listen fat boy, we've been Nasty, we were born Nasty, and we're always gonna be Nasty, unlike you two bozos". Really riveting stuff. D-Von talks about how they've been fighting for tag team gold all over the world over the last 10+ years. Knobbs counters by saying they've beaten all the legendary tag teams: Road Warriors, Steiner Bros., Hart Foundation, Outsiders, Harlem Heat. man, i didn't realize how bad the Nasty Boys were at promos. both of the Dudleys did good tho.

Backstage is Christy Hemme with the Beautiful People. They're in a trios match coming up next. Velvet says Angelina Love has been "wallowing in our shadows", which i don't think is a saying. TBP have moved on past her to bigger and better things. Like the tag belts.
in the locker room, Jarrett is LACING HIS BOOTS.
Bobby Lashley is in Bischoff's office. Bischoff talks good about him, and then fires him and laughs about it, chuckling to himself "taking out the trash".

The Beautiful People (Velvet, Madison, & Lacey) vs. Tara, Awesome Kong, and Hamada
the two minutes of this match is entirely chops and arm wringers. First Hamada on Madison, then all three members of TBP to Hamada. tag to Tara and she has a short control segment before the triple team takes its toll. this match isn't good. TBP are so incredibly limited. Hamada has the match won after a moonsault to Lacey, but Madison hits her with the Ugly Stick (a pink nightstick) and steals the win at about 4 1/2 minutes. Post-match, they are beating down Hamada until Angelina Love makes the save.

Backstage, Hogan is berating Earl Hebner. Heb says Angle tapped out right when AJ rolled the Ankle Lock. Hogan asks why Heb would do that to HIM (Hulk). Heb admits that he screwed Bret, and he also screwed Kurt. And he did it because Flair cut him a big check. Hulk suspends him.
AJ's locker room. now there are four ladies. Flair, holding AJ's belt, is dumbfounded. Flair picks one woman and AJ says he'll take the rest.
backstage still, Bubba the Love Sponge catches up with Mick Foley. Bubba doesn't like Foley's chances in his meeting with Bischoff, but Foley feels pretty confident. In other news, Mick Foley is clearly an idiot.

Kurt Angle comes to the ring. He's speaking to AJ and says that they're match at Genesis was the greatest match in his career. And he's offended and disappointed that AJ didn't play by the rules and keep it fair. Are you kidding me? We're coming off a one year Main Event Mafia run where Kurt egregrously cheated at every opportunity. He calls AJ a punk ass bitch. Hulk Hogan comes to the ring. He tells Kurt that it's unacceptable that Kurt spit in his face, and if he ever does it again, he'll fire Kurt. Hogan is all business now. Kurt apologizes for what he did. They shake hands. As Hogan walks away, Syxx and Scott Hall jump Angle from behind. Syxx does the worst, slowest lightning leg drop i've ever seen him do.

Hall & Syxx celebrate backstage as security forces them to leave. They promise to be here next week

Brian Kendrick & the MotorCity Machine Guns vs. Amazing Red & Generation Me
whoa, an X-Division match? this should be a hell of a match.
Kendrick IMMEDIATELY jumps Red from behind as we get a 2ND DIXIE TWITTER PLUG. This is non-stop action and i don't know where to start. Bucks with an assisted dropkick. MMGs block Red's Code Red with a superkick. Then they land their signature double DDT. MMGs set up a double superkick, but Kendrick tags himself in and flattens Red with a running knee. MMGs look none too pleased that he stole their thunder at just under 3 minutes.
British Invasion come out, and they stomp out Red some more. Rob Terry teases cashing in his X-Division title match that he won in the Feast or Fired Match, but Brutus convinces him to hand the chance to Doug Williams.
After the commercial, we see about 30 seconds of Doug steamrolling Red with his rolling "Chaos Theory" German Suplex for the pin and we have a new champion!

In Hulk Hogan's office, Mick Foley asks Eric how Eric faked the bloody beatdown last week. Foley tells a story about his kid taking a shit in the hallway at Chuck E. Cheese. i won't spoil the point of the story. Bischoff threatens to fire Abyss and Jeremy Borash if Foley doesn't do what he's told. Bischoff strolls out of the office and down the hall to AJ's locker room, where they are strutting. Bischoff is nonplussed, but congratulates Flair for having a contract that Eric & Hulk can't eliminate. Eric then says that AJ doesn't get a 30 day vacation, and instead they need to be prepared for Against All Odds on 2/14.

Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson vs. Jeff Jarrett
ok, Anderson's entrance is a spectacle, but i'm already over it. Jarrett enters without music, and Tenay tells us that Hogan & Bischoff had it silenced. The crowd is 100% behind Jeff.
Jarrett with the advantage early, landing a series of shoulderblocks. ~~Ken~~Anderson swings it back in his favor with some clubbing blows. Jarrett struts after clotheslining ~~Ken~~Anderson to the outside and we go to commercial
We're back, with ~~Ken~~Anderson dominating at ringside and in the ring as well. He's been working over Jarrett's arm, slamming it into the steel steps, twisting it backwards, and an armbar ddt (or "a flying armbar" according to Taz). ~~Ken~~Anderson now with a top wristlock that Jarrett finally fights back out of, but gets cut off with a shoulderblock of his own. ~~Ken~~Anderson off the top rope, missing a somersault splash. ~~Ken~~Anderson attempts his Mic Check, but Jarrett spins to attempt the Stroke. This also fails, and a low blow and roll up lead to ~~Ken~~Anderson getting the win in a decent 7 minute match.
Post-match, ~~Ken~~Anderson beats up Jarrett some more, and we get an inset view of Bischoff saying "this is great". He lays out Jarrett with the Mic Check to end the show. Wait, another inset by Bischoff, saying that Jarrett will have "a long, hard climb to the top of my mountain". That saying takes on a totally different meaning if Ric Flair delivers it.

TV Rating: 1.4

a much better episode this week. only the Knockouts match wasn't at least decent, and even that wasn't terrible. There was too much Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff, and too little X-Division. But i am pretty sure i'll be saying that for the majority of these shows. I can't say that i like that they keep immediately undercutting almost every angle development week to week (Lashley's quitting. Now he's back. Now he's fired.) (Mick Foley's fired. no, now Bischoff won't let him quit.) (Kurt Angle is pissed at Hogan and he quits. Now they're buddy-buddy.)

Tenay mentioned that last week's episode was the highest viewership for a Thursday Impact, and this one has an even higher rating, so i guess that's a good sign.

zendragon · April 9

you know I never watched any on TNA's "blue period", looking back at the preceding spike TV era where they had Sting, Christian, Angle and commissioner Jim Cornette as the last sane man in a world gone mad it seems more and more like a missed opportunity.

twiztor · April 10

19 hours ago, zendragon said:

you know I never watched any on TNA's "blue period", looking back at the preceding spike TV era where they had Sting, Christian, Angle and commissioner Jim Cornette as the last sane man in a world gone mad it seems more and more like a missed opportunity.

TNA was at their best IMO from late spring 2003 until shortly before the SpikeTV deal in early fall 2005.

But the time period you mention was remarkably solid. And to be completely honest, i didn't even notice that Jim Cornette stopped appearing a few months back. Probably because Mick Foley filled that role with a bombasticness that overshadowed the work Cornette previously did. I thought JC did a fairly commendable job as the on screen "boss" of TNA. He has the ability to bring a groundedness to the absurdity that surrounds him. It didn't always work, of course, but i think it did more than it didn't.

twiztor · April 12

February 4, 2010
"The Breaking of the Band"

Spoiler

We start with the typical recap, but thankfull we don't waste time with a long Hogan public address, and instead jump right to our tournament!

8 Card Stud Qualifying Match: Brutus Magnus vs. Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson
~~Ken~~Anderson does his whole entrance schtick, highlighting that he's making his way to the FOUR sided ring. All ~~Ken~~Anderson early as he takes it to Magnus with a methodical beatdown while he runs his mouth. We get an early on screen DIXIE TWITTER PLUG. Magnus finally gets some offense in, capitalizing off an irish whip. He picks up the pace until ~~Ken~~Anderson gouges the eyes and hits the mic check at about 2 1/2 minutes to advance in the tournament.

Mick Foley pulls up in his Honda Civic. The brakes squeal. He can barely squeeze out of the driver's seat.
Christy Hemme backstage with Kurt Angle. He's going to take care of Tomko quick tonight, but let's talk about Hulk Hogan. Angle's pissed that Hogan would look him in the eyes and then have his boys, The Band, jump him from behind. Hogan can expect a meeting with Angle tonight.

Eric Bischoff strolls to the ring. Eric starts talking, but Mick Foley marches to the ring, face locked in a focused and pissed off expression. Foley says he has a reputation for being 'not all there' in the head- not because he's a sadistic, self sacrificing stuntman, but because he seems to like everyone: Marcus Bagwell, Paul Heyman, even Jim Hellwig. But Bischoff is the exception and the antithesis of everything that Foley encapsulates. Taz drops a Mike Adamle reference when Foley talks about Bischoff's salesman abilities. Bischoff keys up to fire Foley, but Foley walks out. Bischoff again threatens JB and Abyss, then books Foley to face Kevin Nash tonight in a No DQ match.
Backstage, Abyss and Jeremy Borash watched all of this on a monitor. Abyss asks if he (Abyss) is going to be OK, and JB drops this line: "i worked for Eric Bischoff ten years ago, and nothing's changed. When Eric Bischoff is around, nobody's OK."
Other backstage, Christy Hemme interviews Tara about her title match tonight against Angelina Love. Tara's ready for her.

Tag Team Titles Match: Team 3D vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez (c)
Bubba and Hernandez test their strength early. They are pretty even, but Bubba ultimately takes the advantage by using his veteran knowledge of leverage. H spiders up to the top rope, but Bubba launches him off ("Air Mexico", according to Taz). Both teams trade advantage a couple times. Both teams working well together. This is a pretty good match, but it's all kept fairly basic so there's nothing much to say. Team 3D sets up the "What's Up", but the Nasty Boys push D-Von off the top rope. Matt Morgan capitalizes with the Carbon Footprint to Bubba to retain the titles in just under 5 minutes. a promising match that never quite got to that second gear. Post-match, the Nastiess rush the ring to beat down the Dudleyz, but MM&H cut them off. The two face teams square up, but cooler heads prevail and they fist bump in a hesitant solidarity.

Jesse Neal vs. Samoa Joe
hey, Samoa Joe still exists! Neal jumps Joe as he enters the ring. Joe ducks a clothesline and lands a T-Bone suplex. He TAKES it to Neal, dominating with strikes in the corner, his corner enziguri, and a couple headbutts. Neal shortcuts his way back on top with an eye gouge, but can't capitalize as Joe NOPEs a dive and serves up a running knee which leads directly into a Muscle Buster in less than 3 minutes. Full domination.

Christy Hemme backstage with Hulk Hogan. Hulk hasn't been watching the show so doesn't know Angle will be looking for him. Hulk says he'll be waiting.

non-World Title match: The Pope vs. AJ Styles (c) (with Ric Flair)
AJ is about the enter the ring, but Flair stops him and waves the ref over to hold the ropes open for AJ. nice touch. AJ backs Pope into the corner and teases a clean break but just open hand slaps Pope. This heats Pope up and he explodes with offense until AJ rolls to the floor oto converse with Flair. After a commercial break, AJ is on offense and connects directly with a dropkick. They have a chop contest, which AJ wins. Pope with a desperation sunset flip for two, but AJ comes back immediately with a running back elbow. AJ eschews his normal high flying and is utilizing a more methodical style, relying on chinlocks and neck cranks. Pope has a few hope spots, and on those occasions AJ breaks out the higher impact stuff. Pope tries to land his Coronation move (that's the one where his opponent is leaned on the second rope and Pope dropkick/slides across his back to the floor), but Flair gives AJ the warning, so Pope misses. AJ takes back over, but Pope with a small package for a big upset win at about 6 1/2 minutes! Good match with a nice surprise finish! I was questioning what the point was of a non-title match, but i guess this answers that.
Flair jumps Pope and the two men beat down Pope until Joe runs down and makes the save. Flair chops Joe but Joe no sells, flexes, and screams in his face Sting-style. Eventually AJ chopblocks Joe, but Pope revives and we have a donnybrook until security breaks up the fight. Flair grabs a mic and talks smack to Joe, but ducks behind AJ at the first sign of violence. Joe grabs his own mic and calls AJ a repetent scumbag. Joe challenges AJ and tells him that he will remind him how to be a man. Joe is cashing in his Feast or Fired briefcase for a title match at the Against All Odds PPV.

Christy Hemme backstage with Angelina Love. She expects TBP to get involved tonight, but she's not worried about that right now.
Bischoff walks into Kevin Nash's lockerroom. He wants to talk to Kev, but doesn't know who Eric Young is. EY introduces himself as the Global Champion and three year contract holder at TNA before leaving. Bischoff immediately disregards him by saying "another name i won't remember in the morning". Bischoff asks Kev to destroy Mick Foley tonight. Kev says then he wants a favor- a contract for Scott Hall and Syxx. Bisch says they don't have contracts because they're screwups, and if Kev doesn't play ball, then maybe he's a screwup too. He better destroy Mick Foley tonight.
Hemme again, this time with Foley. He will be lacing the boots up tonight. He's relating his travel problems from a few months ago when Abyss cuts in, worried about his future. Foley forces Abyss to promise NOT to interfere tonight.

8 Card Stud Qualifying Match: Tomko vs. Kurt Angle
Tomko nonchalantly strolls to the ring and i contemplate why he came back to TNA. He's in, ostensibly an upper card slot, but i expect him to get destroyed tonight like he was a week or two ago by AJ. Maybe his NJPW contract dried up? Just as Kurt Angle enters the ring, we get another DIXIE TWITTER PLUG.
the first move of the match is a German Suplex, so you know it's all power moves in this one. Angle sends Tomko into the ringside steps. Tomko with a snap powerslam. This year's Super Bowl is the Indianapolis Colts vs. New Orleans Saints, for anyone curious. Tomko has actually amassed an extended advantage, with another powerslam from the shoulder and a chokeslam before Angle throws Tomko off the top rope and goes back to a series of German Supli. Then an Angle Slam which Tomko kicks out of. Angle ducks a big kick and we're right back with an even longer string of Germans. The Ankle Lock, and Tomko taps out at 4 1/2 minutes. I do love me a bomb-throwing match on occasion, and this filled that spot nicely.

a montage of still photos from the recent UK tour is shown, featuring all the TNA talent you remember from months ago but haven't been on TV recently. Also, there was an Ultimate X match, and AJ Styles vs Kurt Angle. A quick Google search tells me this Ultimate X match remains unreleased, to my disappointment.

Nash meets Hulk in his lockerroom. Kev asks Hulk to give Hall & Syxx one more chance. Hulk tells Nash to distance himself from them and all but refuses to let them in.

KnockOuts Title Match: Angelina Love vs Tara (c)
Tara with a headlock takedown. Taz: "i've never been in a headlock by a woman. It might be kind of enjoyable." Commercial break one minute in to the match. A Greco-Roman Knucklelock, and Angelina tries to counter transition but she is not great at it. There must be a slight wardrobe malfunction, as we get a screen blur over Tara's chest. It is distracting, but Tara never readjusts and through the blur nothing looks amiss. The match goes like three minutes and Tara wins with a rollup. This wasn't interesting but also there wasn't much here. TBP run-in after the pin but Angelina and Tara beat all three of them down.

Scott Hall & Syxx are outside the arena, trying to sneak in.
Kurt Angle bursts into Hulk Hogan's lockerroom, pissed off that Hogan's cronies "the Band" jumped him from behind. Hogan says Angle's temper is the problem and that he's misreading the situation. Angle doesn't trust Hogan. He tells Hogan that this is his last warning.

No DQ Match: Mick Foley (with barbed wire bat) vs. Kevin Nash (with shopping cart of plunder)
well, there's 5 minutes left, so i guess it's time for our Nitro main event.
Foley swings the barbed wire bat at Nash, who is blocking it with first a trash can and then a steel chair. Nash trips Foley with a hockey stick and tries to grate the barbed wire bat across Foley's face, but a low blow puts an end to this. We are moving in slow motion. Some light brawling at ringside. Foley hesitates to swing a framed photo (of Foley & Abyss) at Nash, but Nash hits the big boot and gets the pin in less than three minutes. Hall & Syxx come to the ring and beat Nash down. This match was garbage and this part doesn't make any sense at all.

TV Rating: 1.18

another mixed bag of a show this week. AJ/Pope was good and i would like to see a longer match. Joe destroying Jesse Neal was fun, and Angle/Tomko was servicable.

TNA's doing an OK job showing the evolution of AJ's heel turn, even if it's still wildly nonsensical. I want to blame that on Hogan & Bischoff, but a year ago Samoa Joe made an equally nonsensical heel turn when he joined the Main Event Mafia, so i guess TNA gonna TNA. The de-emphasis on both the Knockouts and X-Divisions is incredibly depressing. This 8 Card Stud Tournament is a good way to get some of the higher profile wrestlers on the show in a somewhat prominent angle, but these qualifying matches going 3-4 minutes really undermines that attempt.

twiztor · April 18

February 11, 2010
"Hulk's Moment of Truth"

Spoiler

We start off with.... what else? Hulk f'n Hogan. I must have jinxed myself after praising last week opening with a match. He puts over his decision to come to TNA: "this place is crackalackin', jack!" even his "brothers up north" are talking about TNA. "I feel like i'm cool again!" was an actual thing he said. But you know who's not cool? Scott Hall and Syxx. Hogan has this place locked down and tells the audience that they are now his hostages. He has security at every exit and nobody's getting in or out. The audience cheers. Hogan says the Impact Zone is on Full Lockdown about 6 times. He threatens to gear up in red and yellow and says he will do anything to keep Hall and Syxx out after they look liberties with a brother.
Eric Young interrupts and comes to the ring. the crowd chants "Under.Rated". EY wants revenge against Hall and Syxx and asks Hulk to unlockdown this place. Hogan cuts him off after like 20 seconds by saying "is it my turn yet?" Hogan says he's he for the younger up and coming guys like EY, but he does it in a weird way that is dismissive. He denies EY's request. EY puts over Hogan and says he has a deep respect for him, but EY's going to take it to Hall & Syxx, but if they can't come HERE, then he'll go to them. Hogan says don't do it HERE, take it TO THEM. isn't that what EY JUST said?
Mick Foley arrives backstage and wonders if Bischoff has arrived yet. Random person tells him he has.
Backstage, Hall & Syxx skulk around. If they're trying to sneak in, having the camera crew find you seconds after arriving is a bad omen.

8 Card Stud Qualifying Match: Orlando Jordan vs. the Pope
We recap that Jordan beat Pope fairly easily a three weeks ago, but imply that it was due to Pope's knee injury.
Collar-and-Elbow tie-ups to start. Pope takes over with strikes, but Jordan goes to the knee to regain the upper hand. Big swinging neckbreaker by OJ. Then a good looking wind-up backbreaker. Crowd: "You Still Suck". Pope with more strikes and lands his 'Coronation' sliding rope move, but only a two count. OJ takes over with some body shots, but it is shortlived as Pope returns fire and then lands his DDE for the win in just under 5 minutes. This was serviceable, but i didn't really get the story they were trying to tell.

in Hogan/Bischoff's office, Jarrett enters. JJ asks if EB saw his match a couple weeks ago. Bischoff says he did. He then says that he was very, very impressed. He's so sleazy. Jarrett asks for a spot in the 8 Card Stud tournament. EB says entering the tournament would NOT be Jarrett 'starting at the bottom', so denies the request. Jarrett walks out with his tail between his legs.

8 Card Stud Qualifying Match: Suicide vs. Matt Morgan
Suicide attacks early with his speed, but can't get Morgan off his feet. Then Morgan takes over and lands most of his signature moves. Suicide finally succeeds with a springboard dropkick, but Morgan kicks out at one and then takes back over. He lands his Carbon Footprint in just over two minutes. wow, Suicide's stock has fallen HARD.

Mick Foley knocks and enter's Bischoff's office. Foley looks and sounds like a depressed puppy. He calls him "Mr. Bischoff" and says he'll fall in line to save Abyss and JB in this company. Bischoff then says Abyss gets one of the spots in the 8 Card Stud tournament, and Foley will face Abyss at the PPV. Wait, so is Foley in the tournament too, or is that a non-tournament match for some bizarre reason? Bischoff also says that if there's any "shenanigans" in that match then Abyss loses his mask. And that Bischoff needs to change his attire, the Cactus Jack look is outdated. Mike Tenay has to clarify that Foley is, in fact, in the tournament.

Christy Hemme backstage with Kurt Angle and ~~Ken~~Anderson. They will be partners tonight but opponents in the tournament. ~~Ken~~Anderson calls her "Kristen" and says that he's had to carry so many partners that his back's been broken a number of times. Angle isn't playing games and says he'll snap ~~Ken~~Anderson's ankle, and he also belittles ~~Ken~~Anderson's microphone drop before storming off. ~~Ken~~Anderson is speechless, until his microphone drops (in the backstage area?) and he does his "MR.....ANDERSON...........ANDERSON" thing.

elsewhere backstage, Kurt Angle comes into EY's lockerroom and orders EY to stay in the lockerroom and not go after Hall & Syxx.

X-Division Title: Amazing Red vs. Doug Williams (c)
Red immediately takes it to Williams with his speed. running attacks, running dropkicks, and Williams escapes to the outside. They trade quick two counts. Williams picks Red up in a wheelbarrow position and slams Red's face into the mat, but he holds on and does it again before turning it into a sit-out slam. Cool move. DIXIE TWITTER PLUG! Williams takes over for a while, transitioning between moves and holds. Red breaks free with a corkscrew plancha to the outside. the a top rope missile dropkick only nets him a two count. Red tries a hurracanrana but Doug attempts to turn it into a powerbomb, but Red spins and hops off, so Williams tries a drop down, but Red turns spins it into a pin attempt. Only a two count, but a very cool sequence. Shortly thereafter, Williams sidesteps Red in the corner and immediately lands his Chaos Theory rolling German Suplex for the win and successfuly title retention at just under 5 minutes.

The Beatiful People are WALKING backstage.
Tara and Angelina Love are backstage with Christy Hemme. They're on the same page after their match last week.

Handicap Match: The Beautiful People (Velvet, Madison, & Lacey) vs. Tara & Angelina Love
TBP all try to stay away from Angelina. When Tara's in, she is dominant. I am now finding the irony in Tara 'coming to TNA to prove the Knockouts division is the best place for women wrestlers', only to be placed in a feud with TBP, who are (both character- and ability-wise, the closest on the roster to WWE's Divas division). Lacey does a moonsault off the top rope, lands on her feet, then drops an elbow on a prone Tara. wtf was that? Angelina finally tags in and takes it to her former partners. this thing has broken down. Angelina superkicks Velvet, but Lacey whaps her with the ugly stick and Velvet rolls on top for three. This went 5 1/2 minutes, not counting the commercial break in there, which makes it the longest match of the night so far. This wasn't terrible, but it sure wasn't good.

Christy Hemme backstage with Desmond Wolfe. He'll be teaming with Hernandez tonight against the previously revealed Angle & ~~Ken~~Anderson. He makes some decent poker references and refers to the tag match as "4 of a Kind".
in the parking area, Hall & Syxx are still sneaking around.

Desmond Wolfe (without Chelsea) & Hernandez vs. ~~Ken~~Anderson (yes, he does his entire entrance schtick) & Kurt Angle
~~Ken~~Anderson and SuperMex to start. the mic man tries some kicks, but Hernandez takes it to him until ~~Ken~~Anderson speeds to his corner and tags in Angle. Hernandez objects to his partner Wolfe cheap shotting Angle, but Wolfe tags himself in. He keeps Angle in check with an overhead wristlock takeover, but as soon as Angle starts making a comeback, rushes out of there to tag in Hernandez. Hernandez with a power move and Wolfe tags back in and reasserts control. Angle transitions to an Ankle Lock, and his partner ~~Ken~~Anderson distracts the ref while Wolfe taps out, then tags in Hernandez. ~~Ken~~Anderson shortarms his partner Angle, but it makes little difference as Angle is clearing house. Angle coldcocks ~~Ken~~Anderson and Wolfe rushes in to land his armbar DDT. Angle kicks out at two, and lands an Angle Slam. ~~Ken~~Anderson tags himself in, suckerpunches his partner, and steals the pin over Wolfe. i liked the story they were telling, and the different dynamics between the makeshift teams, but it was undercooked, going only about 6 minutes.

Samoa Joe marches to the ring. He calls out AJ Styles to have a little chat. AJ, flanked by Flair, obliges. AJ is in a full suit and sunglasses. Joe largely says the same thing as last week: they were the two best, but now AJ disgusts Joe. Flair lets us all know that AJ is the champ, before passing the mic to AJ. Joe threatens to put Flair in the hospital. AJ: "what about you, Joe? You've turned more coats than a dry cleaners!" Then he runs down the list of Joe's allegiances over the last two years, which is an effective and correct rebuttal. Joe says AJ has dropped to his knees to kiss the ring of his new sugar daddy. This is what gets AJ to storm the ring, but Joe manhandles him and sets him up for the Muscle Buster. Flair with a low blow and the beatdown commences.

Backstage, AJ (without Flair) is leaving the arena but is interrupted by Bischoff. EB announces that HE will be the special ref this weekend at the PPV, and he'll be calling it straight down the middle. AJ is panicked.

Other backstage, Angle storms the exit door, but Hulk Hogan cuts him off. He says if Angle is intent on getting his ass beat, he's gonna do it in his house. He opens the back door (to symbolically allow Hall & Syxx entrance) and tells Angle to go the ring.
Back from commercial, Angle is in the ring and calls out Hall, Syxx, and Hogan. Syxx rushes the ring and Angle kicks his ass. Hall comes in and Angle takes it to him, too. Angle with the Ankle Lock on Hall. Syxx loads his first and the beatdown commences. Hogan slowly makes his way to the ring. the Band celebrates his arrival. they all "2 Sweet" each other. but what a swerve! Hogan actually punches out Hall and Syxx! nobody saw that coming! [/s] the show ends abruptly.

TV Rating: 1.19

what was the point of Eric Young tonight? i just tried to look up when he last defended the Global Championship (12/7/09 in a sub-2 minute match vs. Hamada) and found out that he lost it to Rob Terry on a UK house show. So i guess that title is just going to become defunct or whatever, since it hasn't been mentioned on TV in weeks anyway.

I have no idea if the X-Division or KnockOuts Titles will be defended at this weekend's PPV. If they are, there is no clear contender for either. Tara is embroiled in the Angelina Love vs. TBP feud, and Doug Williams just doubled down on his win vs. former champ Amazing Red. Which probably means some meaningless multi man match. Obviously the tag belts won't be defended since both men are in the big tournament. speaking of which,

This 8 Card Stud #1 Contenders Tournament is finalized with the following competitors: Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson, Kurt Angle, Hernandez, Matt Morgan, Desmond Wolfe, the Pope, Abyss, and Mick Foley. Hernandez and Wolfe are the only pre-Hogan "TNA Originals", and Wolfe only joined less than a month before Hogan. Meanwhile, who lost in qualifying matches? Val Venis (no loss there), Christopher Daniels, Brutus Magnus, Tomko, Orlando Jordan, and Suicide. quite telling if you ask me.

it dawned on me that you all are missing out by not seeing the DIXIE TWITTER PLUG. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but i freaking hate it. I would understand if this was the company's account, but it is her personal account. She is still active on there to this day, FWIW.

twiztor · April 20

TNA AGAINST ALL ODDS
February 14, 2010 @ Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
"And Then There Was One"

Spoiler

Happy Valentine's Day, and welcome to King of the Ring! Tonight's 8-Man, Single Elimination Tournament will determine the #1 Contender for the WWE Championship! err, make that Against All Odds and the TNA Championship. I'm a bit of a sucker for tournaments, so i should enjoy this show.

before the video package, we see Ric Flair storming in the back door. That is not a euphamism. He rants and raves about Eric Bischoff making himself the special guest referee for tonight's World Title match.

8 Card Stud Quarterfinal Match: Desmond Wolfe (once again with Chelsea) vs. The Pope
Wolfe does not have the breakaway pants that he did at the last PPV. So Chelsea's job is significantly reduced. Tenay reminds us that these two men have faced off twice already this year, with eacah man securing a victory. Wolfe is utilizing his leverage and submission holds early, while Pope is holding his own with his flashy, hit-and-move striking. With Pope on the apron, Wolfe pulls the top rope back and snaps it in Wolfe's face. That was a cool maneuver! I was just thinking that the match was slower than i was expecting, when Wolfe lands a big snap DDT for a two count. Then he goes back to his methodical style until Pope starts his quick comeback, mostly utilizing strikes. He connects with his Coronation and then a top rope crossbody and gets a two count of his own. Pope goes back up top but Wolfe crotches him. Pope fights out of a Tower of London attempt, but isn't able to counter a huge superplex. That also nets only a two count. Wolfe misses a corner charge and Pope catches him in the ropes, landing a nice reverse neckbreaker. Pope capitalizes on that and wastes no time landing his DDE knee rush and scores the pin! Very solid match that goes just under 8 minutes and sets a damn good precedent for the tournament.

Ric Flair storms into Bischoff's office (the desk has been rotated since the last episode of Impact). Flair rants and raves and reminds me why i don't like him, especially post-WCW. Bischoff reiterates that he's going to call it right down the middle, and tells Flair to keep his distance.
Jeremy Borash is backstage with Morgan and Hernandez. JB's suspension must be lifted since Foley has agreed to play ball. This isn't addressed, of course. I'm not really listening to these guys, but i'm pretty sure the gist is that both guys agree that the best man will win tonight, and they'll still be the tag champs after the show.

8 Card Stud Quarterfinal Match: Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan
Mutual respect from both men. They take turns with lock-up power, and shoulder blocks, and all the stuff you would expect. Hernandez up top and tries a crossbody block. Morgan attempts to catch him, and both men tumble to the mat. Well, that was awkward. They're trying to play up that neither of these men are used to dealing with the amount of power their opponent is bringing, but i don't think they're presenting it well and it kind of feels like these guys are just pacing themselves. Morgan gets an extended control segment, but can't keep Hernandez down and it is starting to lead to some frustration on his end. Hernandez comes back with a slingshot shoulderblock and he starts taking it to Morgan. H with a stalling vertical suplex that looks legitimately impressive on a man Morgan's size. Morgan rolls to the outside, so H with his running suicide dive that always looks great. Hernandez looks to have injured his shoulder, but Morgan stops the ref from counting him out. He welcomes H back in the ring, but immediately runs him into the turnbuckle and grabs the tights to secure a three count. Morgan tries to celebrate with Hernandez, who looks less than pleased at how it ended. This went about 9 minutes and was a bit disjointed but overall not bad.

Christy Hemme backstage with Kurt Angle. Angle offers a public apology to Hulk Hogan. Also, he's going to mow through tonight's tournament.

8 Card Stud Quarterfinal Match: Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson vs. Kurt Angle
Taz gets my hopes up by mentioning that ~~Ken~~Anderson is focused and skipping his entrance schtick. Alas, 'tis not to be. He misses the mic as it lowers, much to the crowd's delight.
This match is also starting off much slower than i expected. Angle takes over from the jump, with ~~Ken~~Anderson able to hold his own through little cheapshots. ~~Ken~~Anderson sidesteps a corner charge and then turns up his viciousness but grinding Kurt's neck medallion into his forehead. Angle is now bleeding, which is not an advantageous thing to happen in your first match of the night. ~~Ken~~Anderson doesn't let up, stomping and punching at Kurt's forehead, and grinding away with a headlock. Angle makes a quick comeback with some strong clotheslines and a series of suplexes. When he tries the Angle Slam, however, ~~Ken~~Anderson rolls out of it into a forward roll but he's only able to secure a two count. Then he attempts (and fails) to remove the top turnbuckle cover. With the referee now distracted, he succeeds in pulling off the opposite corner cover. But this has bought Angle enough time to recover, and this time he lands the Angle Slam, but still only gets a two count. Corner charge by Angle, but ~~Ken~~Anderson sidesteps and Angle takes a header into the exposed turnbuckle. ~~Ken~~Anderson follows this up with his Mic Check to advance in the tourney in just under 10 minutes. He lays Angle's medallion on his chest and then spits on Kurt as he leaves the ring.

Back in Eric Bischoff's office, he addresses Mick Foley and Abyss. He reiterates that he wants no shenanigans in the match tonight between them. Foley is concerned that Bischoff might be a little too liberal on what constitues "shenanigans", so Bischoff ups the ante. He makes it a No Disqualification match, and hands the barbed wire bat to Foley, saying that he NEEDS to see it used in the match. Abyss is worked up about potentially losing his mask, but Foley looks calm and collected about the whole ordeal. Foley is wearing his Cactus Jack shirt, but is not wearing his customary flannel as per Eric's request/demand.

8 Card Stud Quarterfinal Match / No DQ: Abyss (with bag of thumbtacks) vs. Mick Foley (with barbed wire bat)
Abyss is reluctant to hurt Foley, so Foley slaps him across the face a few times to up the ire of Abyss. the crowd chants "USE.THE.BAT" as they brawl around ringside a bit. Foley grabs the bat and the crowd pops. Before he can use it, Abyss hits a big boot. This is a weirdly laid out match. It feels like the two guys are taking turns refusing to hurt the other one? I thought Foley was going for something akin to his anti-hardcore match vs. Sabu however many years ago, but then Abyss started doing the same thing and Foley became the aggressor.
Foley pours out the bag of thumbtacks. Abyss goozles him for a chokeslam into the tacks, but changes his mind and chokeslams him elsewhere in the ring. He reaches for the bat as the fans chant again, but Abyss retreats. He finds Mr. Socko instead (crowd: "USE.THE.SOCK") but eats a Double Arm DDT. Foley takes the referee down and steals HIS sock as the men trade Mandible Claws. Foley gets Abyss down, but releases the hold since he hasn't used the bat yet. He grabs the bat, but Abyss Black Hole Slams Foley into the tacks and scores the pinfall. So, the bat didn't get used. Post-match, Abyss checks on Foley and pulls the tacks out of his back. This was an eight minute match, and while it wasn't BAD, it didn't really connect either.

Christy Hemme backstage with the Nasty Boys. Knobbs says that yes, they're here because Hogan asked them to be, but that's not the whole story. Sags says something about getting back to the top, and Team 3D is at the top. I don't know. who cares about the Nasty Boys?

Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D
Dudleyz rush the ring and this match breaks down before it ever starts. They pair off and the Nasties throw terrible looking punches. Bubba fights back and Nasties escape to the outside. They stall at ringside. OK, Sags in and the match starts off proper.
And it sucks. quick tags by the Nasty Boys while their offense consists of very basic corner punches which Bubba oversells. He ups the speed and the Nasties again roll to the outside.
OK, Sags back in, but this time D-Von is in. the Nasties cheat and this match is progressing at a snail's pace. the Hogan family is again in the front row but are making less of a spectacle of themselves. I think the story they're trying to tell is that the Nasty Boys are wily, cheating veterans, but this is awful. the Dudleyz have gotten next to no offense in and we're 8 minutes in right now. Hot tag to Bubba and he cleans house. Sags looks like he refuses to take a bump and Knobbs is constantly out of position. to hammer my point home, Knobbs messes up his placement for the WHAT'S UP headbutt. Sags eats a 3D but Knobbs smashes Bubba with a motorcycle helmet and Sags rolls over to pin Bubba. Jimmy Hart is now here and is the one that handed the helmet to Knobbs. This went over 11 minutes, had only 2 minutes of acceptable action, and culminated with Jimmy Hart debuting. absolutely terrible and a waste of time by every possible metric.

Eric Bischoff backstage with Samoa Joe and his Feast or Fired briefcase. Bischoff wrestles with his history with Flair. Joe tells him (Bisch) to take care of Flair, and he (Joe) will take care of AJ. Bischoff reminds him to keep his Samoan temper under control

8 Card Stud Semifinal Match: The Pope vs. Matt Morgan
Morgan's size and strength vs. Pope's speed. So Pope gets a short-lived advantage early, but Morgan just tosses him over the top rope to the floor. Then he just manhandles Pope all over ringside. Morgan's on his typical cocky big guy offense. We also get a bearhug sequence, which i maintain is visually the worst submission/rest hold. Pope fights back by going to the knees, but Morgan turns it right back around with a big fallaway slam. Pope counters something into a DDT and is finally able to land some sustained offense. Both men are playing to the crowd quite a bit in this match. Morgan escapes a Coronation with a huge discus clothesline, but it's only good for two. Pope sidesteps in the corner and again capitalizes with his DDE knees to score the upset win! Goes about 8 minutes and, while the match was pretty one-sided, it wasn't terrible. I did not figure Pope to win this, so the ending surprised me.

Borash backstage wtih ~~Ken~~Anderson. He feigns that he can't hear so that JB has to repeat that he beat Kurt Angle. He says that HE'S THE GUY. ok guy. I know it's his gimmick, but ~~Ken~~Anderson really annoys me.

8 Card Stud Semifinal Match: Abyss vs. Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson
This is a rematch from last month's Genesis PPV, where ~~Ken~~Anderson scored the pin. Luckily, we skip the big entrance this go-round.
~~Ken~~Anderson runs the ropes and tries a crossbody, but just bounces off Abyss. He teases a Greco-Roman Knucklelock, but just slaps Abyss across the face. Abyss rebuts by picking up ~~Ken~~Anderson and just tossing him. They brawl awhile. ~~Ken~~Anderson rips at Abyss' mask, and i am reminded that we haven't yet gotten a followup to Abyss's last match and his failure/refusal to use the barbed wire bat. ~~Ken~~Anderson starts working over the knee of Abyss, but we move on from that pretty quickly so that we can land more punches. Corner charge and then a side slam from Abyss is good for two. Tenay tells us that Abyss is favoring the leg, but he stopped selling it awhile ago. Abyss gets ~~Ken~~Anderson up for the Shock Treatment, and is able to land it even while his opponent is gouging his eyes. Still only a two count. ~~Ken~~Anderson off the top ropes, right into a goozle. ~~Ken~~Anderson slides the mask over Abyss's eyes and escapes, leading Abyss to blindly grab the referee by the neck. This lets ~~Ken~~Anderson hit Abyss with a low blow followed by his Mic Check for the win at around 8 minutes. This was pretty standard stuff. Nothing great but nothing offensive either.

Christy Hemme backstage with AJ Styles and Ric Flair. AJ says he's "once in a lifetime". Says "you could take Samoa Joe, the monster Abyss, Kurt Angle, the Funk brothers, Dusty Rhodes, and the immortal Hulk Hogan", mix them up, and you still wouldn't be able to shine his boots.
Eric Bischoff, in referee attire, WALKS backstage. He runs into Hulk Hogan (first time we've seen him tonight). Hulk tells him to take it easy tonight and tells him to call it down the middle. Bischoff says he will. Hogan walks off and Bisch looks like his game plan just flew away.

TNA World Title: Samoa Joe (with Feast or Fired briefcase) vs. AJ Styles (c) (wearing a Ric Flair style feathered robe, and with Ric Flair)
Special Referee: Eric Bischoff
the build for this has been about 60% about Flair/Bischoff and about 40% AJ/Joe. It didn't feel egregious, but worth mentioning.
Joe is aggressive early. AJ is cowardly. The first couple minutes is all Joe. He's landing kicks, running knees, punches, mainly strong strikes all over the place. AJ is able to grab the leg and turn the tables with a dragon screw leg whip. He lands a series of strikes of his own, specifically focusing on Joe's leg. He sets up the Figure 4, but Joe kicks him off so hard that AJ flies through the ropes to the outside and crashes to the mat, landing on his head. ouch. The brawl at ringside and AJ pulls up the mats (i'm going to believe it's his own anger over his earlier landing). They are back in the ring, leaving the concrete floor exposed but unused. They trade some HARD chops in the corner. Joe blocks a top rope hurracanrana and lands a leaping leg lariat, but Bisch can only count to two. Bischoff chastises AJ for a minor rule infraction, opening up Flair to slam Joe's leg into the turnbuckle. AJ takes full advantage, landing a chopblock and going to town on the knee. AJ gets on his Indian Deathlock-bridging chinlock but after Joe escapes, AJ locks on the Figure 4 in the center of the ring. Joe almost rolls it over, but Flair grabs AJ's hand to prevent the reversal. Bischoff catches them and forces the hold broken. Joe recovers on the ropes, so AJ rushes him, but Joe with a high back body drop, sending AJ outside to the floor. Back in, and Joe is sufficiently healed to work AJ over with strikes. AJ's springboard forearm gets him back in the driver's seat, and a moonsault reverse DDT only gets a two count. Joe with a sleeper back suplex and sets up the Muscle Buster. Flair grabs Joe's foot, leading to Bischoff chastising him outside. Muscle Buster lands, but as Bisch heads inside to make the count, Flair grabs HIM. Bisch punches Flair and heads back in the ring. Joe shoves Bisch, giving AJ the opening for a Pele kick and the Styles Clash. Bischoff reluctantly counts three and AJ successfully retains the belt! Flair forces Bisch to raise AJ's hand. This was a good 20 minute match that had a couple flashes of greatness, but ultimately doesn't reach the heights of previous matches between these two.

Christy Hemme is backstage with ~~Ken~~Anderson again. Because once wasn't enough. He's crossing things off his bucket list today. first Kurt Angle, then Abyss, and next Pope. Next stop: Title Shot.
meanwhile, JB is with the Pope. Pope calls him "BJ". Pope doesn't respect ~~Ken~~Anderson and will only call him "Junior". Scott Hall and Syxx come out of nowhere and attack Pope. Hall: "hey Hogan, we heard you're having a party. Don't turn your back on the Wolfpack!"

8 Card Stud Tournament Final / #1 Contender: The Pope vs. Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson
how we got here: Pope has been the underdog in both of his previous matches and has taken kind of a beating in both of them. ~~Ken~~Anderson has cheated at every opportunity and had the upper hand in both of his matches (moreso vs. Abyss, but vs. Angle was closer than you'd expect)
Pope's music plays, but he doesn't come out. ~~Ken~~Anderson makes his entrance. He forces the referee to ring the bell and then start a countout. Pretty sure that's not legal. Pope hobbles to the entrance stage, and ~~Ken~~Anderson cuts him off and beats him down on the ramp. Pope eventually fights back and they brawl on the ramp and around ringside. Pope keeps getting knocked back down every time he tries to enter the ring.
Both men inside now, and it's more of the same. Pope tries to fight back, occasionally gets some offense in, and ~~Ken~~Anderson just cuts him off and beats him down some more. I don't know that this is a compelling watch, but it's a coherent story told competently. Pope never stops fighting back, and keeps kicking out of pinfall attempts. But he just can't string anything together due to the beating(s) he's taken tonight.
At the 12 minute mark, Pope gets his second wind. He lands a series of suplexes and an STO. He sets up the DDE, and lands it (!) but ~~Ken~~Anderson kicks out at two. ~~Ken~~Anderson back up with a shot to the throat and a big clothesline. He calls for the microphone and talks some trash. He telegraphs the Mic Check, and then lands it, but Pope kicks out! the crowd comes alive for the first time in a long time. ~~Ken~~Anderson lands his forward roll but misses a top rope senton. Pope avoids a corner charge and lands the DDE for the three count and he becomes the new #1 Contender! Again, this 15 minute match did what it needed to do, but other than the last few minutes it wasn't exciting to watch.

Number of X-Division matches or references: ZERO
Number of Knockouts matches or references: ZERO
but on a plus note, Hulk Hogan only appeared once. And no Dixie Twitter plug. Must be saving that for Impact.

this was a weird event. the Dudleyz/Nasty Boys match was freaking awful, but everything else was acceptable. But nothing was great, either. The tournament was decently well put together, but each individual match felt lacking. the hardcore match wasn't hardcore enough. the strong man match wasn't meaty enough. and with the vast majority here being tournament matches, everyone felt like they were wrestling in slow motion. I assume they were pacing themselves, but it REALLY could have used some non-tourney matches to break the cadence. AJ/Joe was good but we've seen better. I feel like it was hamstrung a bit by AJ's heel turn.

twiztor · April 21

February 18, 2010
"Lord of the Ring"

my wife told me something interesting yesterday in regards to a separate project i'm doing. She says, "you don't have to keep doing things you're not enjoying." so i, of course, had to ask a couple of follow-up questions. "what if you're 90% done with something?" she said no. "but don't you have to push through to the end?" and she again said no. Have you guys heard of this concept? Not sure why that convo popped into my head. Anyway, here's more TNA wrestling.

Spoiler

Eric Bischoff, speaking on a cellphone to a mystery person, exits a limo. After hanging up, he says "Let the games begin" with a slightly evil laugh.

As part of the Against All Odds recap, they show a clip of Dixie Carter announcing that Impact will be moving to Monday nights on March 8th. If this was announced at the PPV, then it didn't make it onto the version i watched.

The Pope kicks off the show this week but strolling to the ring. He says we're having a party tonight. He lays out a warning for AJ Styles and Dick Flair, that he's coming for that title at Lockdown. Styles, Flair, and four ladies come out to rebut. Flair shows off his Armani suit. He cuts Pope down with a borderline racist promo. AJ says Pope is a nobody and nowhere, and Pope slaps him. Then he gets beat down by AJ and Flair. They smash his ankle in a steel chair and AJ locks in the figure 4.

Tenay and Taz talk about Dixie & Hulk's announcement of Impact moving to Monday nights. I guess tonight WAS the announcement. Weird that they would play that as a part of the recap, before the show open. Odd timing.
[editor's note: they play that video a few more times over the course of the show, and it has a banner at the bottom that implies that it aired last week. Either way, that was not on the version of Impact i have, either, which would be even more weird. ]

non-Knockouts Title Match: Daffney vs. Tara (c)
Tara dominates the first minute or so and this is looking like it will be a squash match. She peels off her outer shirt and tosses it into the audience, much to their delight. Daffney with some gnarly hair-mare takeovers. They slide to the outside, and Daffney grabs a toolbox from under the ring and slams it into Tara's midsection. Ref calls for the DQ, but Daffney keeps beating on Tara all over ringside, trapping her under a guardrail and then smashing a chair into it. Dr. Stevie appears to pull the chair away from Daffney and dragging Daffney to the back. Not much of a match, as it only officially lasts around 2 minutes, but an effective beatdown segment.

Mick Foley enters Bischoff's office. He apologizes for the lack of using the bat last night. Bisch says no apology necessary, introduces Mick to a couple wardrobe assistants, and sends them on a shopping trip. After Foley leaves, Bischoff makes a call for Abyss to come to his office immediately.

Orlando Jordan (with a couple.... fashionistas?) vs. Samoa Joe
before he enters, we see Bischoff browbeating Joe a bit and dares Joe to impress him. Jordan tries to jump Joe, but Joe sees it coming and takes it to OJ. Joe is all offense early, but slows it down to listen to the crowd and Jordan lands a pretty great looking spinebuster. He follows that up with a knee drop, but Joe kicks out at 1 and kicks it into second gear. He puts Jordan on the top turnbuckle and just lays into him with punches. He pushes the ref away, allowing Jordan to land a tornado back cracker and score the upset win in 3 1/2 minutes. Joe seemed a bit distracted throughout the match and looks disappointed in himself afterwards.

Abyss worriedly enters Bischoff's office. Bisch says he told Abyss to use the barbedwire bat, and what would happen if he didn't. Well, now Bisch is going to follow through. And it will be tonight. He has posted security at every door to stop Abyss from leaving.
Christy Hemme with Eric Young. They talk about Kevin Nash, because the best use of your (former?) TNA Global Champion is to hype up a separate angle.
backstage (?), Eric Bischoff enters a wood panelled room where Jeff Jarrett looks on forlornly. Bisch hands him the barbed wire bat and tells him to use it against Abyss when they face off tonight. OK, that's enough Bischoff for tonight.

Doug Williams, Brian Kendrick, & MotorCity Machine Guns vs. Amazing Red, Generation Me, & ~~Frankie~~ Kazarian
whoa, an X-Division match? They mention that next month's PPV, Destination-X, is going to be X-Division themed, including the return of Ultimate X. Kazarian is making a return after being gone for a year or so.
This is all very quick and there are a lot of tags. Everybody gets a turn tagging in, hitting one or two moves, and tagging out. So lots of action but it's all empty calories. Kaz eventually gets a slingshot DDT on X-Champ Doug Williams to score the pinfall. I say eventually, but it only went like 4 minutes.

Abyss is panicked, trying to escape but the exit doors are locked. i feel like that's a fire hazard.

No DQ Match: Abyss vs. Jeff Jarrett (with barbed wire bat)
it's crazy to me that two years ago, this would have been a main event, but now it's presented as a throwaway match that is sprung on the audience with no build and is only in service of a Bischoff power move.
Match starts off with a lot of leverage and looking for an advantage. They quickly pick up the pace, however, and end up brawling both in and around the ring. Abyss jams Jarrett's face into a chair, then sets up a secondary chair into the corner. Abyss reaches for the bat, but pulls away. Jarrett uses that to try and force Abyss into the aforementioned chair, but he fails and we get a double down. Bischoff makes his way to the entrance ramp to oversee. Back from commercial, Abyss has taken back over with a big sideslam. Jarrett comes off the 2nd rope and eats a chokeslam, but kicks out at two. They struggle and Jarrett lands the stroke, then delivers a second one into the corner chair. Jarrett reaches for the bat as Bisch nods approvingly. They're really drawing this out as Jarrett acts conflicted. Jarrett throws the bat down. Bischoff calls a bunch of guys from the back (Raven, Rhino, Homicide, Desmond Wolfe, & Tomko) to beat down both men. Bischoff gets in the ring and talks trash to a restrained Abyss while threatening to remove his mask. Out walks Hulk Hogan, who demands that Abyss "gets [his] ass back to my office!" This was a good solid match that went about 8 minutes until the asinine ending.

Backstage, Abyss is being led to Hogan's office by a cadre of security guys.

British Invasion (Brutus Magnus & Rob Terry) vs. Beer Money, Inc.
Terrry comes out with the Global championship and they announce that he won the belt on the recent trip to the UK. Well, at least the belt still exists.
i think this is the first time we've seen Terry in a match, but i could easily be forgetting a trios match or something. The Brits are in charge of this early, but it's an odd dynamic as Magnus is calling all the shots, blind tagging himself in and demanding that Terry tag him in after hitting a single move. Unsurprisingly, this doesn't last long and Beer Money turns it around by being on the same page. They land their suplex-into-assisted powerbomb and get the win in under three minutes.
Post-match, Magnus berates Rob Terry (despite that it was Magnus that got pinned). He calls Terry a disgrace and takes the belt away from him. Terry clotheslines him. i guess this third rate faction has imploded.

Backstage, Kevin Nash is in a velvet locker room.
other backstage, Abyss waits in Hulk Hogan's locker room. Eric is right behind him, but Hulk sends him away. Hulk is sick of Abyss being all cowardly. Hulk shows off his Hall of Fame ring. It is the spinach to his Popeye. The only thing that ever loved him. Hulk gives Abyss the ring and says it will give him the power of the universe. oh god, we're doing this angle. i forgot that this happened. Abyss puts the ring on and maybe has an orgasm? thankfully the camera only shows his top half so i can't confirm.

~~Christopher~~ Daniels vs. Kurt Angle
Daniels jumps Angle before he can get his shirt off and straps situated. DIXIE TWITTER PLUG! The ref pulls him off and Angle fights back. He gets the Ankle Lock on and Daniels taps out. That's it? it was barely a minute. ugh.
Angle grabs the mic and congratulates ~~Ken~~Anderson for beating him at the PPV. but he's highly offended in the way that it happened. He explains the concept of military dog tags, and talks about how rough of a year he's had. He's getting emotional, and it feels legitimate as he talks about his divorce, his arrest, and letting his kids down. Now he wears this medallion/dog tag as a reminder of who he is. He goes on for some more and talks about the military, and soldiers, and the USofA. ~~Ken~~Anderson comes out and mocks him for getting emotional and calls him a suck up. ~~Ken~~Anderson tells Angle to come get some, and they brawl on the entrance ramp. Angle loses handily. Kurt's part of this was good, but i'm not into rah-rah-America promos, especially here in 2026, and it went on a bit too long (the match was 1 minute but the entire promo exchange lasted about 10 minutes) for my tastes.

outside the arena, Samoa Joe is leaving when a white van of masked men pull up and kidnap him. what?

Kevin Nash & Eric Young come down to the ring. Nash says he doesn't know what's worse in this business- the broken bones or the broken hearts. He calls Hall & Syxx to the ring. His former Wolfpac buddies meander through the crowd. Eric Young attacks Syxx. Hall and Nash face off in the ring. Hall throws his toothpick and Nash decks him. security rushes the ring to separate them. Hogan comes out to the entrance ramp as we fade to black....

TV Rating: 1.2 (this is just barely higher than last week, and we won't hit this number again in this project....)

i don't know that i would say this was a terrible show, but it definitely wasn't a good one. I am befuddled about......well pretty much everything happening here. There's so much nonsense going on that it's hard to really care about anything. The crowd pops big for Joe, and Daniels, and good wrestling action, and that stuff all gets downplayed. WAY too much Bischoff this week. We haven't seen Jay Lethal in WEEKS. the Knockouts Tag Team Champions have disappeared. I'm begging for some continuity.

twiztor · April 23

February 25, 2010
"Rage Over the Ring"

Spoiler

cold open with Abyss showing off Hogan's Hall of Fame ring to the X-Division guys. Hey, a Jay Lethal sighting! He says he can feel the power of Hulkamania pulsing through his body and that last week was the best day of his life. Well, at least we're keeping our expectations realistic here.

AJ Styles and Ric Flair out to address the crowd. Taz informs us that Pope has "partially torn ligaments" in his ankle and is lucky he can still walk. AJ says that Pope got too big for his britches by saying he'll be the next champ. Says Pope wants to be the Golden Boy, but it's not gonna happen. AJ says Pope may be A man, but he is THE man, and 'to be the man, you have to beat the man.' Flair gives himself a coronary over Hulk giving his HoF ring to 'the Abyss'. "Hulk, you have your own Hall of Fame, and you'll never be in mine!" (?) Flair calls out 'The Abyss', who comes out to Hulk's WCW theme 'American Made'. Flair is taking this WAY too personally as he verbally abuses 'the Abyss'. 'The Abyss' says Flair is right, he can't shine AJ's boots. Because he's not a shoe shine boy! but he will remove AJ's boots.....and stick them up Flair's ass! AJ then joins in to insult Abyss, saying "you look like a foot that kicked a bag of hot nickels". 'the Abyss' does the "YOU" point in AJ's face as Hulk Hogan strolls out. Hulk asks AJ what he knows about having "a good name" and i have no idea what that means. Now Flair and Hulk are getting in each other's faces and i wonder why i'm awake at 3am watching this. they square off, AJ and Flair eventually bail as Flair promises that Hogan's HoF ring will be on AJ's finger by the end of the night.

Mick Foley, still in his grunge phase, enters a backstage door. Looks like last week's makeover didn't accomplish much. He looks upset.

Nasty Boys (with Jimmy Hart) vs. Team 3D (carrying a table, The Public Enemy style)
this is a No Disqualification Tables Match. Dudleyz drop the table on halfway down the entrance ramp as the Nasties meet them and we start off with a brawl. Knobbs (the back of his shirt just says "KNOBS" with one 'B') separated his shoulder at the PPV and has it all taped up. Taz: "Knobbs can hardly run. He's usually very fleet-footed." He is holding his arm out at an awkward angle so i am sure that this is excrutiating. This is going much better than the PPV match, despite said injury. the tornado format with random brawling is a much better fit for the Nasties. Jimmy Hart sets up giving the motorcycle helmet to Sags, but Jesse Neal runs down, takes the helmet, and toses it to D-Von. D-Von hits Knobbs with it and they 3D Sags through the table for the win. This was a perfectly fine use of 3 1/2 minutes.

in Bischoff's office, Mick wants Bisch to admit that last week's plan of a makeover was just to get Mick out of the way so he could dismantle Abyss. Bischoff denies it, and takes credit for Abyss being in such a good place. Bisch turns it around and asks Foley why he's making it all about HIM. Bisch wonders why Foley isn't in his new suit. Foley backpeddles his whole stance. What a pushover.

ODB vs. Daffney
hey, ODB is still here! Daffney rushes ODB before the bell, but ODB sidesteps and Daffney goes right into the corner. ODB pounds her from one corner to the next before even handing her flask to the ref. Picture-In-Picture says she's never been attacked like she has last week, and that next week she'll be fighting Daffney next week. Well, that seemingly spoils the outcome of this match. Speaking of which, Daffney has turned it around and is destroying the leg of ODB, slamming it into the ring apron and smashing it into the turnbuckle. Daffney grabs one of the steel steps and also pounds it into ODB's knee, then whaps it with a mop handle. Dr. Stevie again restrains Daffney, who screams like a psycho. This ended in like 2 minutes via DQ, but was less a match than an angle, and i am on board.

JB backstage with Matt Morgan and Hernandez. they say they're still together, and are over anything that happened at the PPV.
outside the arena, Hall & Syxx are digging through the trash to find weapons. Hall gets a length of pipe, and Syxx holds up a 2x4 and yells "HOOOO!"

back from commercial and in the ring, Beer Money is here to address the crowd. They've been together for two years and Roode describes their history as one word: "Pride". Storm adds that they've been here from the beginning. He says the new TNA management wants to put Beer Money on the sidelines, and the crowd boos. Out comes Hernandez (sans Morgan for some reason?) He says he's going to Hulk Hogan's office to issue a challenge for the tag team titles for Beer Money at Destination X. The music starts playing before the segment ends.

JB backstage with Kevin Nash and Eric Young. Nash just wants Hall and Syxx, and Eric adds that it's not for a match, it's just for a little TV time and they're going to bust them up. Nash says the physical pain is endurable, but the emotional pain of having your best friends turn on you is 'for life'.
Jeff Jarrett storms into Bischoff's office. He says that it's going to take more than Bischoff's six thugs to run him out of his own company. Bischofff apologizes, but JJ ain't buying it. Bisch praises Jeff for 'doing the right thing' by throwing the bat down last week and says JJ deserves better than this. Bisch invites him out to the ring tonight to prove it. He asks JJ to trust him on this. Jeff doesn't like it but is willing to give it one more go. Is everybody in this company a freaking idiot?

Bischoff strolls to the ring. We're kicking off hour 2 and there's been about 5 minutes of actual in-ring wrestling time. He invites Jeff Jarrett out and lets him have his entrance music back. I feel like maybe i haven't mentioned that JJ hasn't gotten entrance music the last few weeks, but they're making a big show to prove that Bisch is turning over a new leaf. He's literally backstabbed every single person he's interacted with the last few weeks. He publicly apologizes to Jeff. An assistant brings out the barbed wire bat, and Bisch says JJ did the right thing by not using it on another human being. but he didn't do the right thing BY BISCHOFF. so he's giving Jeff one more shot 'to do the right thing'. He sends JJ back to catering to 'flip a few burgers' and hands him a spatula and hairnet. Really riveting stuff. [/s] Tenay thinks maybe he was wrong about Bischoff. well, no shit.

Matt Morgan confronts Hernandez backstage. He's upset that Hernandez offers a title shot without conferring with him.

#1 X-Division Contender: Brian Kendrick vs. Kaz
i want to be excited for this match, but with Kaz returning last week and pinning the champ, is there ANY question who wins this?
Kaz with his springboard leg drop. They replay it THREE times in the first minute. Kendrick turns it around with a neckbreaker into his own knee, which looks pretty cool. He goes up top but Kaz cuts him off and lands his Flux Capacitor. He gets the pin in 2 1/2 minutes.

JB backstage with 'the Abyss'. He addresses Flair, AJ, and anybody else that wants that ring. He says "bring a chainsaw, bring a seesaw" which made me laugh. He calls himself "the Monster of the Rings" and i am confused why her pluralized it.
video hype package for the ~~Legends~~ Global Championship. Can Rob Terry's title reign stand up to a challenge from Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson? We're about to find out. In fact, Christy Hemme is backstage with ~~Ken~~Anderson right now. He refuses to talk into Christy's mic and his own lowers from the ceiling. He babbles on a bit. Says he's excited for his first taste of gold in TNA. Says Rob Terry is "strong as six gorillas" then says he's been in the ring with six gorillas before. and he beat them. sure it was by DQ, but it's still a win. i am so over this guy.
Kurt Angle is WALKING backstage.
Rob Terry warming up backstage. Brutus Magnus offers him a word of warning that Magnus is coming for him.

Global Championship: Rob Terry (c) vs. Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson
we get ~~Ken~~Anderson's whole entrance because TNA hates me. He monologues that he has no remorse over what he did to Angle's dogtags, regardless of what they mean. Angle rises up from the stage with a chair. ~~Ken~~Anderson keeps talking and Angle just stands there. Finally, after too long, Angle whaps him with the chair one time, then motions for Rob Terry to take ~~Ken~~Anderson to the ring and beat him. Terry picks ~~Ken~~Anderson onto his shoulder, carrys him to the ring, and dumps him inside. The ref rings the bell, Terry lands a powerslam, and pins him. Match time was maybe 20 seconds. What a crock tonight is.

Backstage, Jeff Jarrett is grilling burgers.
Mick Foley enters the backstage area, wearing an overly large overcoat to cover whether he's wearing the new suit from last week.

Kevin Nash and Eric Young exit the arena to a back alley. Syxx is calling for them. off camera, Hall takes out Nash's knee with the leg pipe. They slap Eric Young around a bit, tell him to stay out of it, and Syxx spraypaints "4 LIFE" on his back.
I thought that would go longer, it was only like a minute.
Still backstage, Jeff Jarrett is now cutting onions.
In his office, Bischoff is talking on the phone. "no, we're not going to use guest hosts every week. that's the dumbest idea i ever heard". Foley knocks and enters. He's wearing the suit. Bischoff is impressed. Except for the mustard stain. He sends Foley to find his assistant so he can take lessons from an Etiquette Coach.

Desmond Wolfe (with Chelsea) vs. "The Monster of the Rings" Abyss
Wolfe knows how to use leverage, so he tries to use that to break Abyss down early. The bell rings after 30 seconds for no reason, but the match continues. I guess the timekeeper is unsure what to do since this is our first real match. DIXIE TWITTER PLUG! oh good, i was afraid we'd go a whole show without it. Abyss goozles Wolfe for the chokeslam, but Wolfe fights out. He runs to the ropes and gets caught in a Black Hole Slam for three. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? we get a two minute main event to cap off this talk heavy show?
Post-match, AJ and Flair march to ringside. "The Abyss" fights them off until Desmond Wolfe hits him with a chair. "The Abyss" hulks up but it's shortlived as the three men take him out and handcuff him to the ropes. Hulk Hogan strides to the ring to make the save. He decks all three of them until Flair chopblocks him. Hogan looked really feeble walking around the ring, and all three men beat him down. AJ nails Hogan with the title belt as "the Abyss" looks on. Abyss calls upon the power of Hulkamania, through his ring, and breaks out of the handcuff and chases the heels away.

Hogan announces that March 8th will see AJ and Flair, coming out of retirement, vs. "The Abyss" and his partner. And who will his partner be? none other than the Hulkster himself.

TV Rating: 1.14

this show was freaking disgusting. Maybe i'm in the minority, but i prefer my wrestling shows to have, you know, WRESTLING. There was roughly 10 1/2 minutes of in-ring action across five matches. And holy shit, did we need so much Bischoff these last 2 weeks?

twiztor · April 25

March 4, 2010
"Never Say Never"

this is the final Thursday Impact before the fateful Monday transition. and we're almost guaranteed to have more wrestling on this show. We certainly couldn't have less, right? RIGHT? Here we go....

Spoiler

We kick off the show with TNA World Champion AJ Styles strolling to the ring, with Ric Flair and a bevy of beauties in tow. Ric says they've taken their last week to reflect on what transpired last week. He calls Hulk Hogan out so they can apologize and offer a present and "give back" to TNA and the fans. Hulk and Abyss confidently walk side-by-side to the ring. Ric Flair (hiding behind one of the ladies) asks for this to be a peaceful conversation, which Hulk & Abyss agree to. Flair offers Hulk to take any or all of the ~~GODFATHER's HOOOOOOOS!~~ gorgeous ladies. He clarifies that Abyss doesn't get any. Wow, rude. Hulk isn't here to make a deal. He says that he promised Dixie Carter, TNA management, and the boys in the back that he wouldn't lace his boots up. But ~~he's a piece of shit so he went back on his word after less than two months~~ Flair's actions have left him no choice. He asks WHATCHA GONNA DO? AJ Styles finally gets to speak. He tells Hogan that times have changed and he doesn't want Hulk to embarass himself. AJ and Flair leave, saying they will "see them Monday". oh god, now Eric Bischoff comes out to the ramp. He says AJ will be defending his title tonight, against Abyss, Pope, and Desmond Wolfe. This whole segment lasted longer than all of last week's matches, combined.

JB backstage with Desmond Wolfe and Chelsea. Dez says it's serendipity. What is "it"? he doesn't really say, and instead pivots to a different cliche.... when God closes a door, open a window. But he says he kicks that door down. Then he runs down his opponents tonight, notably calling him "Poop" D'Angelo Dinero. Chelsea says she wants Abyss' gold ring. Wolfe says to consider it done and "What Chelsea wants, Chelsea gets." Wolfe is usually solid in his promos, but this one felt a bit scattershot.
In his office, Eric Bischoff again. He's on the phone with someone who wants to start a national football league to compete with the NFL. Only a moron would do that! oh, how topical and clever! The XFL lived and died in 2001, almost a full decade ago! Jarrett bursts in. JJ puts over his grilling ability and says that nothing will chase him away from TNA. Bischoff is talking in platitudes and bullshit.
JJ: "Eric, can we get back to business?"
EB: "what business is that?"
JJ: "the business of professional wrestling. TNA business."
preach, brother. Bisch tells Jarrett that he'll be the janitor tonight and sends him to the bathrooms as he hands him a plunger. wow, riveting stuff so far tonight.

Non-Tag Team Titles 4 Way Contest: MotorCity Machine Guns vs. Generation Me vs. Beer Money, Inc. vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez (c)
wow, a wrestling match. let's see if it gets more minutes than there are competitors here. Sabin and Jeremy Buck to start. Taz clarifies that Jeremy is no relation to Joe. The two teams with a bunch of quick tags and double team maneuvers. DIXIE TWITTER PLUG (i feel comfortable saying this is PLUG #1 of the night as i assume more will come). Hernandez tags himself in and overpowers the x-divisioners. He sets up his springboard shoulderblock as Morgan tags himself in. he double chokeslams both Bucks. Beer Money rush in (Roode tagged himself in unseen) and superkick Morgan and pin him for the win. Just under 3 minutes. So no, we didn't get more minutes than competitors. We didn't even get more minutes than teams.

back in Bischoff's office, again, with ~~Val Venis~~ Sean Morley and a referee. He's booking a No DQ, Falls Count Anywhere match with ~~Venis~~ Morley against Jarrett. Oh, and i guess the match starts whenever.
We get a shot of Jarrett mopping the bathroom floor
In Hogan's office (i want to clarify that Hogan's office and Bischoff's office are the same space. They've never really addressed this, but whoever is seated behind the desk is who i refer to for ownership of said office. Every time they've shown the outside of the door, it has said Hulk Hogan, but Bischoff is seated behind the desk significantly more than the Hulkster). He makes a mention of the framed pictures on the wall being crooked ("somebody's been playing with my pictures back there"), and i don't know if this is a callback to Foley's time as Executive Shareholder (there was a fairly prominent angle about the posters), or a reference to Bischoff being in there (i went back to check, and there was no moving of the pictures earlier tonight) or just a way to start the segment.
Kurt Angle comes in and offers to take Hulk's place against AJ & Flair on Monday. He kisses Hogan's ass ("you've done more for TNA...") which is a WILD pivot from a few weeks ago. Hulk thanks him but needs to ~~get a win over the TNA champion to show he's still the only important pro wrestler~~ earn his own self respect.

Mick Foley's Etiquette School, Part 1. This is exactly what you expect it to be. It's not bad. It has its moments. But i am so sick of non-wrestling. This is not funny enough to be comedy. It is getting absolutely nobody over.

Backstage, ~~Val Venis~~ Sean Morley and the ref are outside the restroom. ~~Venis~~ Morley tells the ref to ring the bell and they enter the bathroom, so i guess this counts as a match. ~~Venis~~ Morley slams Jeff into the wall, and the stall, and stomps him. Jeff asks what's going on, and the ref screams at him that it's a falls count anywhere match. ~~Venis~~ Morley slams Jeff's arm in the door and then repeatedly kicks said door. Then he pins him in less than two minutes. This was hot garbage.

Christy Hemme backstage with the Pope. they put over the severity of the ankle injury he sustained two weeks ago, and seemingly just finds out that he has a match tonight. Pope says his doctors won't be happy that he's competing (and Mike Tenay later says that the doctors haven't cleared him) but he'll still come out on top.

video package on the British Invasion. They are pushing the narrative that Rob Terry was pushed further than any man should be, even if the story that played out on TV was the most abbreviated version of that story possible.
non titles match: X-Division Champ Doug Williams vs. Global Champ Rob Terry
Doug slaps Terry across the face, but Terry just shoves him back. He gorilla press slams Doug and then locks on a bearhug. Terry with a big spinebuster and a pin in almost exactly one minute. Great way to put over the X-Division. Magnus runs in and attacks Terry.

Backstage in the trainer's room, Jarrett is having the trainer look at his shoulder, where he is experiencing some pain and stiffness. Bisch busts in and yanks Jarrett's arm. They have a verbal blow up. Bisch books Jarrett for another match tonight. i am so fucking tired of Bischoff.

Mick Foley's Etiquette School, Part 2. more of the same. again, this could be enjoyable in a vacuum, but amidst the sea of shit that TNA is becoming, it's just more poop juice.

Kurt Angle's music plays, and out comes Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson. He's wearing a bald cap, Kurt's wrestling gear, and a fast food serving tray around his neck that says "LOSER". He cuts a promo as Kurt, talking about how injury prone he is and how ~~Ken~~Anderson beat him up, and disingenuously praises the troops. Kurt marches to the ring and they brawl. But you knew that before i even typed it, didn't you? ~~Ken~~Anderson throws a fan's cup of liquid in Kurt's face, mockingly drops the straps of his singlet, and Olympic Slams Kurt. He flings the bald cap at Kurt and steals his dogtag.

Abyss runs into Hulk backstage. Abyss starts telling Hulk about his childhood. Says it wasn't great, but he would always find a way to sneak a look at the TV to watch Hulk. Abyss verbally blows Hogan, as every employee has to do (or at least i'm assuming that was in Hulk's contract with how often it happens). Anyway, i tuned out and stopped listening. They embrace.

video of earlier tonight, when Angelina Love is in the middle of a photoshoot when the Beatiful People attack her. Lacey holds Angelina's arms through a guardrail while Velvet whips her. That was a cool way to do that, which i haven't seen before.
Angelina Love storms to the ring, calling out Velvet Sky. Velvet skips nonchalantly down the ramp, holding that strap. She seems surprised when Angelina rushes her and they brawl around ringside. Taz clarifies that this is not a match. The camera keeps focusing on Angelina's side/ribs to show the damage from the earlier attack, but you can't really see anything. Lacey and Madison rush the ring and the three of them beat down Angelina, whipping her some more. I am confused why they did this whole segment. I was positive about the backstage attack, but then they did essentially the exact same thing in a less effective manner.

Backstage, Bubba the Love Sponge bursts into Hulk's office. He's going to tell Hogan what nobody else will: Hogan isn't physically well enough to wrestle. I just looked it up, and the sex tape with Hulk and Bubba's wife took place in 2007, with the lawsuit being in 2013. So we are in that happy place where we didn't know that existed. Anyway, this segment sucked too.

Mick Foley's Etiquette School, Part 3. Oh man, this segment was great. no, i'm joking. it was the same thing we've been seeing. These only last like a minute or two, so it's not egregious or anything.

Tomko vs. Jeff Jarrett
JJ is again without entrance music or pyro. they announce the match as having a 10 minute time limit, but i put the over/under at 2:30
Tomko goes to work with power moves focused on Jarrett's injured shoulder. Big clothesline from Tomko at 1:30 but Jarrett kicks out at two. These men are not working a fast pace, so i expect we're hitting the over (!). More shoulder holds and a single arm DDT, but still only a two. Jarrett turns a overhead powerslam into a DDT of his own. 10 count in the corner turns into an inverted atomic drop. Jarrett elevates over a corner charge and rolls Tomko up for the three count! i underestimated this match, which goes almost FOUR minutes! we get picture-in-picture of Bischoff looking frustrated.

backstage, Bischoff tries to talk Hulk into not taking Monday's match. He says there's just too much at risk. Hulk says they agreed to do everything in this TNA venture together, but this is different. Says this is a one shot deal. Hogan relates his deal with Abyss to what Bischoff has with his kids. WHAT? Hulk, you've known Abyss for, AT MOST, 2 months, and you've only interacted with Abyss like three times. That is not a like comparison, AT ALL.

TNA World Title: Desmond Wolfe (with Chelsea) vs. Pope (with massive limp) vs. Abyss (with Hall of Fame Ring) vs. AJ Styles (with championship belt and Ric Flair, without ladies)
there are 8 minutes left in the broadcast, so i hope this gets most of that time. There's enough semi-interesting stories here, and good competitors, so this could be decent. I say this now because last week's main event showed promise too but was one more beatdown disguised as a match.
Pope and AJ to start, which seems like a bad choice on Pope's part, given the condition of his ankle. AJ immediately goes for a Figure Four, but Pope kicks him off and hurriedly tags in Abyss. AJ backpedals with the quickness and tags in Wolfe. Abyss grabs Wolfe for the chokeslam and i have flashbacks of last week. The match has kind of broken down, only 90 seconds in, as we go to commercial.
Back from break, AJ and Pope are the legal participants while Wolfe and Abyss brawl at ringside. Pope gets a few punches in on Flair, and we get DIXIE TWITTER PLUG #2! good, i was afraid my prediction wouldn't come to pass. Flair hits Pope's ankle with a chair, so AJ locks in the Figure 4. Both Wolfe and Abyss have completely disappeared, by the way. Pope refuses to tap out, but the ref calls for the bell at under 4 minutes. Wolfe rolls into the ring and briefly seems upset, but he goes to work on Pope's leg too. Abyss reappears and takes it to both AJ and Wolfe until Flair beats him down with the barbed wire baseball bat. Hulk Hogan stalks to the ring and beats up Flair (who blades, of course!) and Wolfe and AJ bail to the back. Hogan beats up some security too, becuase of course he does.
We go to commercial for some reason, and when we come back Hogan also gets to verbally attack Flair. Because why not?

TV Rating: 1.14 (they will not hit 1.0 or above again during my watch)

What another dogshit show this week. I am trying to keep an open mind heading in to the Monday debut (which i will watch/review this coming Monday), but sweet baby jesus these shows are bad. SO MUCH Bischoff. SO LITTLE wrestling. and even less of that means ANYTHING.

twiztor · April 28

MONDAY, March 8, 2010
LIVE @ the Impact Zone (Orlando, FL)
*no episode title*

Welcome to the new PERMANENT home of TNA Impact! Mondays on SpikeTV!!

Spoiler

new theme song and intro to start. lots of pyro right off the bat too. song is fine. Pyro is exciting.

Hulk Hogan and Abyss come to the ring. well, so much for starting off with something very good. the crowd is very hot for this. Hulk is all decked out in red & yellow. He says this is the biggest night in TNA's history. He's cutting a pretty decent promo. Again, this crowd is LOUD for all of this. i can't overstate that. Hulk calls down Ric Flair and AJ Styles. This leads us directly to:
Hulk Hogan & Abyss vs. AJ Styles & Ric Flair
Abyss and Styles to start, but the crowd is chanting for Hogan. Abyss overpowers AJ, who cowers and tags in Flair. Flair backs Abyss to the corner and delivers a series of chops, to no effect. Abyss BARELY gets Flair over for a back body drop. Flair and AJ start cheating, which brings in Hogan. AJ lands (?) an enziguri kick, which the cameras largely miss and Tenay calls the Pele kick. We're two minutes in. The lights go down and Sting's music plays. He backs Flair and AJ off, before hitting both Abyss and Hogan with the bat. Flair & AJ dismantle Hogan and Abyss with a steel chair. Hogan is busted open. Sting casually walks to the backstage area while Flair and AJ keep stomping the Hulkamaniacs. Brooke Hogan in the crowd looks worried. Hogan talks shit and promises to "finish this before the night's over." They're going to rematch, tonight, in a No DQ match.

Backstage, Sting is stalking around. Dixie Carter rushes towards him, asking what he's thinking. He shoves her back into the wall and says he owes her nothing and storms off again.
Jeremy Borash with AJ and Flair. Flair says if he's going to come out of retirement, he's going to shock the world. He looks old AS FUCK and he's got the HGH gut.
Abyss is off in a corner somewhere, shouting "Why Sting?!? WHY"
in yet ANOTHER backstage area, Brooke Hogan is upset. She's being consoled by Jennifer.

In the ring, ~~Frankie~~ Kazarian is in the ring with a microphone. He says two years ago, when he left TNA, he had a lot of self doubt. but standing here, that doubt is gone. He's back in TNA to reignite the flame of the X-Division. "If TNA is going to war, let the warriors of the X-Division lead us into battle!" that was a good line. ~~Christopher~~ Daniels takes offense to Kaz implying that he is the leader of the X-Division. Now X-Division champ Doug Williams takes offense at both of them. crowd chants "USA". They argue amongst themselves until Eric Bischoff comes out. Bischoff announces that the three men will face off....RIGHT NOW!

X-Division Championship: Kazarian vs. Daniels vs. Doug Williams (c)
this starts off with a bang. quick action, 100% foot on the gas pedal. They trade moves and counters, with nobody able to get any sort of definitive advantage. slowly (bad choice of words), Daniels starts to take over. He lands his STO and a moonsault on Kaz for two. DVD for two. as Daniels and Williams square off and trade blows, Kaz off the top with a double dropkick. Kaz with his big springboard legdrop to Daniels for two. Daniels sets up the Angel's Wings, but Williams flies in with a back elbow. Williams sets up his Chaos Theory rolling German Suplex on Kaz, but Daniels schoolboys him. the double pin ends with a double kick out. Daniels with a Urinagi, but Kaz avoids the Best Moonsault Ever. Williams rolls in and lands his Chaos Theory on Daniels for the win and successful defense. Excellent 7 minute match, and what this show has DESPERATELY been lacking for a few months now.
Post-match, Shannon Moore runs in and attacks Williams. Bischoff back on the ramp and announces that Moore gets the title shot at the PPV. yeah, fuck you and your title shot Kaz! i was complaining that Kaz was getting an abrupt push, so they counter with an even more abrupt one for somebody who hasn't wrestled here in four years!

JB backstage with Dixie Carter. She says she's thrilled that ~~Sting~~ Steve has signed a new TNA contract and books him for a match tonight. Against who, you ask? We will all find that out together.

Knockouts Tag Team Titles: Taylor Wilde & Sarita vs. The Beautiful People (with Lacey) vs. Tara & Angelina Love
Awesome Kong & Hamada have been stripped for "failing to defend the titles", aka one of them must have left the company [editor's note: Awesome Kong]
TBP isolate Tara early until Taylor & Sarita just invade the ring. Then Angelina does. This has no semblence of order. Daffney sneaks in, nails Tara with the belt, and TBP pin Tara to become the champs. Not a very good match, but with only two minutes to work with, it felt like they had to just rush through everything.

Christy Hemme backstage with the Pope. He's facing Desmond Wolfe tonight. again? Haven't they fought three times now? Pope starts talking but Wolfe bumrushes him and attacks Pope's ankle with a chain.
Sting is WALKING DOWN STAIRS. He's wearing his black & white crow facepaint, but has the black pants with the red padding. Taz: "Mike, i got a question for you. What were you doing at 4:20 this afternoon?" then what i assume is a commercial break. i don't even know what that was about, but it was hilarious out of context.
JB backstage with TBP. Velvet says it's time to celebrate and JB calls for the bubbly. They pour champagne all over themselves and each other. This probably seemed like a better idea in the writer's room, but it was just kind of awkward in practice.

Sting vs. Rob Van Dam
i knew RVD came in at some point, but didn't know it was here. The crowd did, as they were chanting "RVD" while Sting was in the ring waiting. I guess Taz's 4:20 remark makes more sense now too.
Anyway, the match. RVD with his top rope ninja kick, a Rolling Thunder, and a three count. 10 seconds. Post-match, Sting attacks RVD with the bat. Sting also takes out a couple of referees. Well, that was an exciting moment, and the crowd LOVED it, but the match was pretty much a non-issue.
Wait, here comes Hulk Hogan. Bubba the Love Sponge holding Hulk back. Sting continues dismantling RVD with his bat. Hogan gets on the apron, but security is now holding him back. Sting drills HIM in the ribs with the bat, then takes out one of the security guys and jabs Hulk again, before finally leaving. Hulk has now been left beaten, battered, and bloody twice tonight. So he's definitely going over in the main event.

Kevin Nash and Eric Young come to the ring. There's a brief shot of Bischoff sitting on a throne-like chair backstage, but that seems to have been in error. Nash has a contract for a match at "Designation X" against Hall and Syxx. We wait around for WAY too long for Hall and Syxx to show up. Hall says "2/3rds of the Legendary Wolfpac are in the building tonight", but all three are in the ring, so i'm not sure what he was going for there. He calls Nash "Big Sell-Out". Hall says he'll only wrestle at the PPV if a win means that he gets a real contract. Bischoff, on the big screen, agrees to that stipulation. Syxx slaps Eric Young, so EY jumps him until security breaks them up. Bischoff sends Hall and Nash away, and says Eric and Syxx will go at it... RIGHT NOW!
Eric Young vs. Syxx
kind of a sloppy brawl, but it works since emotions are running high. Syxx with his leg lariat, but EY avoids the Bronco Buster. EY with a piledriver and a three count in about one minute.

Backstage, an Army Hummer pulls up and a bunch of soldiers pile out. They line the entrance ramp, and out comes Kurt Angle. he's wearing a suit, so i guess we're getting another Rah Rah America promo.
And it was. so i fast forwarded and suddenly Kurt and Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson were brawling. All of the soldiers also jump Anderson, and i just can't be arsed to care. Angle stands above the beaten Anderson, hoisting a US flag, and the soldiers put him up on their shoulders. I can't stand this bullshit pandering.

Backstage, Bubba the Love Sponge again tries to talk Hogan out of the match. Hogan ain't having it. Earl Hebner busts in and asks for a second chance. Bubba for some reason defends Hebner getting a second chance.

backstage, Jarrett is upset about his upcoming match. He asks James Storm how Bischoff forced him into this, and he says Beer Money volunteered for it.
Handicap Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Beer Money, Inc.
Mick Foley is the special referee. He takes off his suit jacket to reveal the spraypainted striped shirt.
so i guess the Beer Money face turn is over. The match started during the commercial break. They double team Jarrett the whole time. Storm inadvertently spits beer in Roode's face. Jarrett makes his comeback and beats up both men. Beer Money with the man advantage and take control again. Foley hands Jarrett the barbed wire bat, but referee Slick Johnson runs in and steals it back. low blow and Beer Money with the suplex-powerbomb move. Slick Johnson counts the three count at about four minutes. i don't understand what the point of this was, at all.

backstage, Hulk and Abyss argue about who will start the match. Brooke is crying and worried about her dad. Hulk promises her that this is the last time he'll get in the ring. So, he's a filthy liar. Not that we didn't already know that.

No DQ Match: Ric Flair & AJ Styles vs. Abyss & Hulk Hogan
Flair and Hogan to start this time. They brawl around ringside and it sucks. Flair is bloody in less than a minute. Even though it's No DQ, Abyss and Styles just stand in their respective corners while this is going on. Flair no sells a series of Abyss punches. This match is just Ric Flair taking a beating. call the police, this is elder abuse. a low blow turns the page and AJ stomps out Hogan. The camera keeps cutting to Brooke Hogan. Every time Hulk is winning, she's screaming and happy, but every time he's getting beat up, she's worried and near tears. Just wild swings each and every time. Now Flair, a bloody mess, is beating up a re-bloodied Hogan. This is also elder abuse. Flair goes up top, but Hogan tosses him off and gets the hot tag to Abyss. He lays waste to both opponents. a chokeslam for each man, and he raises the Hall of Fame ring, drawing the power of the Hulkamaniacs. the heels land some punches and we get a Double Hulk Up, and poorly timed Double Big Boots. Huge Black Hole Slam to AJ for the pin in around 8 minutes. This was pretty trash, but i will admit that i'm surprised Hogan didn't get the pinfall.
Post-match, Desmond Wolfe runs in with a chair. one legged Pope makes the save, until he also succumbs to the beating. Jeff Hardy makes the real save. Ugh, i forgot he came back.

TV Rating: 0.98 (2009: 1.32)

no lie, this was a pretty exciting episode. The lively crowd helped out IMMENSELY. having a real X-Division match, and giving it more than two minutes, was a bit of a return to form. Of course, every other match kept the same short length they've been given for the last couple months. Except Hogan, naturally. Less Bischoff was a bonus too.

Beer Money were literally faces 4 days ago. What happened? i am not a Jeff Hardy fan, so him being a prominent player in the company is a bummer. why the hell is Shannon Moore getting a X-Title shot?

twiztor · May 2

March 15, 2010
"Hogan's Heroes"

i had a bit of a hellish week at work and i hate my life right now. Let's Impact!

Spoiler

Hulk Hogan, Abyss, Jeff Hardy, and Rob Van Dam arrive in a goldish orange Hummer. Abyss was driving, for the record.

AJ Styles (with Ric Flair, without ladies, in custom suit) strolls to the ring. Flair's head is scarred the fuck up after last week. AJ calls Abyss a stupid bastard and asks if he really thinks a "magic ring" will make any difference this Sunday at the PPV. He calls himself the best wrestler in the world, and a gift from God, then (sigh) passes the mic to Flair. He points out his scarred face and says it was from a guardrail. He lightly punches it a couple times and he is a bloody mess immediately. Jeff Hardy casually strolls to the ring. He has his face painted up, he's wearing a hat, and an open coat with no shirt underneath. the look is unique, that's for sure. AJ calls him a nobody. AJ continues to run him down while Hardy just stands there, stone-faced. AJ challenges him to a match tonight. Flair gets in Hardy's face and screams at him to get high off his paint fumes. Hardy says something about his "Creatures of the Night" and howls while most of the lights go down. yeah, i am not a fan of this.

Foley and Bischoff backstage. Foley wants to talk about his antics as a referee last week, but Bisch wants to see him in the ring tonight to finally mold him into the corporate representative he should be. That means a haircut.

Earlier today, Jesse Neal is ordering from a food truck when Jimmy Hart and the Nasty Boys attack him and powerbomb him through a table.
Jimmy Hart & Nasty Boys vs. Team 3D & Brother Runt
Hey! It's good to see Spike Dudley here. He's replacing Jesse Neal in this trios match. I don't think we even knew that this match was planned, so a backstage attack to take out one of the participants feels completely pointless. DIXIE TWITTER PLUG! Spike takes a beating for a little while until Brother Ray comes in and cleans house. Spike with a double axehandle off the top rope to the floor. Knobbs smashes Bubba with the helmet and Jimmy Hart pins him at about 3 minutes. This was too short to be offensive, but really dumb regardless.
Post-match, the Nasties set up a table in the ring, but Jesse Neal makes the save until Sags takes a 3D through it.

Christy Hemme backstage with Angelina Love. She's mad that TBP are the tag champs, so issues an open challenge to any member of the group. Her mission is to take out the whole group.
JB with Hall & Syxx. Hall has a generic "TNA" sweatshirt that he wrote "WOLFPAC" on in magic marker. Syxx says he's been fired before, referencing FedEx. Nash and Eric Young show up. Nash offers Hall $25,000 to last 5 minutes in the ring with him tonight. Hall says he'll be there....he'll be the one who looks like Elvis.

Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson & Desmond Wolfe (with Chelsea) vs. Kurt Angle & Pope
Pope is still limping. Angle and Wolfe to start, they trade holds for a bit until Wolfe resorts to an elbow strike. the heels beat on Angle for a while until Kurt snaps off a big overhead belly-to-belly suplex on Wolfe. Pope tags in and takes it to both men until the match breaks down. Angle Slam to ~~Ken~~Anderson, Wolfe with a single art DDT to Angle, then tries to set up a leg submission on Pope, but Pope rolls him up for the three. This was about 3 1/2 minutes so it didn't really get the time to tell a proper story. It didn't click for me for that reason. Post-match, ~~Ken~~Anderson nails Angle with his Mic Check, then carves Angle up with his oversized dog tag again. Oh god, now he calls for his overhead mic and talks trash to Angle while Angle leaves bloodstains on the mat. Pope and Wolfe have apparently brawled to the back during this. the aftermath was just as long as the match itself.

In Hulk's office, he meets with Jeff Hardy and RVD. He makes Abyss the Special Enforcer for the AJ/Hardy match tonight and tells RVD that he knows what to do. They leave and Bischoff enters. Bisch is upset that Hogan didn't clue him in that those two guys were coming in to TNA. They both say everything is cool and they overly agree with each other.

Angelina Love vs. a member of the Beautiful People
the 3 ladies come out and accept the challenge. Velvet introduces their newest member, for one night only, Daffney, who comes from under the ring and attacks Angelina from behind.
Daffney grabs a toolbox from under the ring and grabs a hammer. The ref takes it from her, so Angelina takes over. TBP all interfere and we get a DQ and the bell at 90 seconds. Daffney swings Angelina by the feet from the ring apron into the entrance ramp (this is the elevated style ramp that leads directly to the apron). That looked pretty gnarly. Tara comes through the crowd to make the save.

Oh good, Hulk Hogan comes to the ring. He's big mad that Sting attacked him last week and is offended that he would do that to the company that Dixie Carter built from the ground up. Sting is in the rafters. We wait while Sting walks down to the ringside area. Like, legitimately wait. Hogan's just standing there not saying anything. a cameraperson is following Sting. RVD jumps Sting. they brawl around ringside while Hogan does the RVD point taunt and flexes in the ring. RVD tosses Sting's bat in to Hogan and then rolls Sting in, but then Bischoff comes out to stop Hogan. Bisch chastises Hogan for not acting like a leader and has security escort Sting away.

Hernandez and Jeff Jarrett backstage. H says what happened with Beer Money last week was BS, but they'll rectify that tonight. I think that means they're teaming up tonight against Beer Money. But wait, here comes Uncle Eric. He clears it up for us. Hernandez will now be facing Beer Money in a handicap match, but Jarrett will be in the ring too....as a special referee. And if he doesn't call it right down the middle, he is fired.

$25,000 5-Minute Challenge: Kevin Nash vs. Scott Hall
Hall is already in the ring. i am vaguely curious if he has entrance music this run. maybe we'll hear it at the PPV. Hall starts with the traditional toothpick toss. Nash just slowly lands strikes on Hall. this is just sad to watch. Hall has next to no mobility left, tho he does take a back bump off a clothesline. After 2 minutes, Syxx runs in and takes Nash out at the knee. The ref just kind of shrugs. they handcuff Nash to the middle rope. They stomp him for a bit until EY runs out for the save, but he gets a beating too. Hall takes the money and they leave after 3 1/2 minutes. How do you have a five minute challenge and still fail miserably at hitting that time mark?

JB backstage with Beer Money. Roode is tired of his team being treated like rookies and being left in the back. So when Bischoff offered them the opportunity last week, they took it. Storm adds that they're tired of being nice guys. From now on, it's all about "making cash and getting trashed". ok, i like that line.

Handicap Match: Beer Money, Inc. vs. Hernandez
Special Referee: Jeff Jarrett
Beer Money jump H as he enters the ring. Matt Morgan heads towards the ring, then detours himself to the announce desk instead. All three men are in the ring the entire time, no tagging for Beer Money, which means they're basically just beating H down. This is made significantly worse by Matt Morgan talking. Morgan talks about a tag title defense at the PPV, but unless i missed it, there's been no challengers announced. H gets a big comeback, suplexing both men at the same time, and sets up Roode for the Border Toss, but Storm superkicks him instead. They land their suplex powerbomb (D.W.I., "Drinking While Investing") and Jarrett reluctantly counts three and raises their hands. This went like three minutes and was fine for what it was, i guess? Post-match, they stomp out H some more, but Jarrett peels off his ref shirt and takes it to both men.

Bischoff is WALKING backstage toward the ring, holding a mirror and shaver.
Back from break, Bisch is in the ring with a barber's chair. He says that Jarrett will be dealt with next week, and calls Foley down to the ring for his haircut. Foley's music plays, and Mick saunters out, hands in his pockets. Foley sits down, but as Bisch reaches to tame his wild mane, Foley unleases Mr. Socko on him! Then he grabs the shaver and gives Bisch a taste of his own medicine. this is the THIRD company i've seen Bischoff get his head shaved in. At least this time we're not treated to the "reveal" of gray underneath the black, since he's been silver haired here since he showed up. Bisch plays his part and scoops up the fallen locks, trying to hold them in place back on top of his head.

Christy Hemme backstage with Shannon Moore. Moore says he represents "the tattooed, the brood, and the screwed". He welcomes Doug Williams to "glam rock" for some reason?

MotorCity Machine Guns in the ring now, and the Ultimate-X trellis is set up. Sabin says DX will be remembered as "the RISE of the MACHINE GUNS". He badmouths Generation Me, which brings them out of course. Shelley says the MMGs are "the X-Box to your Ataris" then references the Bucks' girlfriends, so we get a pull apart. Brian Kendrick runs out to join in the fray for some reason, then Amazing Red runs out, then Daniels. Tenay mentions that there's a ladder match at the PPV for determine the #1 X-Contender. right on cue, Kazarian runs down with a ladder. the Bucks climb halfway up the Ultimate-X truss and dive off onto the MMGs. Now Red climbs the ladder and jumps off, all the way to the floor onto three guys out there. Gotta love how this upcoming PPV is supposed to highlight the X-Division, so these guys get WAY too short of a segment to put over two matches (one of which gets announced via commentary, with no build!) while we spend multiple segments on the Bischoff/Jarrett feud every single week.

JB backstage with Abyss. i really wasn't listening since i was typing that last paragraph, but he ends with a version of "WHATCHU GONNA DO"

Non TNA World Title match: AJ Styles (c) (with Ric Flair) vs. Jeff Hardy
Special Enforcer: Abyss
i am not a Jeff Hardy fan, but i can appreciate that people have probably listed Hardy vs. AJ as somewhat of a dream match. That leads me to believe that this match will be given enough time to whet their appetite, but knowing all the angles going on, will end up being unfulfilling.
Hardy's entrance video has a green countdown thing going on, and i get a little disappointed each time that Christian isn't the one coming out.
We come back from commercial to the bell ringing, but AJ already has Hardy down, so we missed the inciting incident. Hardy with a 2nd rope legdrop about 30 seconds in and then grabs a headlock. They trade chops in the corner, then AJ tosses Hardy to the floor right in front of Flair. Abyss steps in before any antics can take place. AJ works over Hardy's leg as he continues to incorporate Flair's methodology. AJ has been in charge of this match the whole time, but it hasn't been very exciting. We're five minutes in and AJ snatches a rear chinlock. Hardy gets out of it with the worst clothesline i have ever seen. Then he picks up the pace, landing his split-legged front suplex followed by his dropkick in the corner. Dirtiest Player in the Game AJ goes to the eyes and takes back over. He delivers a BRUTAL looking brainbuster. Hardy with his shitty flipping move in the corner (i forget the name. Willow in the Wind or something? Hardy sets up the Twist of Fate, but AJ spins out of it and lands his Pele Kick in a nice sequence. Crowd with dueling LETS GO HARDY/LETS GO AJ chants. AJ springboards in, taking out both Hardy and the ref. He uses this opportunity to grab a chair, but Abyss dissuades him. AJ misses a springboard somersault splash, so Hardy capitalizes with a Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb. Abyss counts the three. Well, i expected more action, but this wasn't bad. And it was given plenty of time, running about 9 minutes.
Post-match, Flair runs in with the chair and goes to town on Abyss, who Hulks Up and no sells. He chokeslams Flair through the entrance ramp while AJ looks on, stunned.

TV Rating: 0.84 (vs. 1.34 in 2009)

another episode that felt rather pointless. This is the go-home show for Destination-X. I know i said this already, but one segment with all the X guys shoehorned in when this PPV has explicitly been promoted as the place the division will be highlighted is just a slap in the face. Hell, the champion of said division doesn't have a real feud (sorry not sorry Shannon Moore) and wasn't even booked here. The Beautiful People being the singular focus of the Knockouts division is beyond stale. And Tara is good in-ring, but doesn't have much of a character past carrying a tarantula around. Being good in the ring is pretty much negated when the rest of the division is passable at best.

GET ERIC BISCHOFF OFF TV SO OFTEN! His feuds with Jarrett and with Foley are painful to watch. i can't imagine where the Foley one is leading. Jarrett's might actually have a payoff at some point, but there's no chance it will be worth everything we've had to endure to get there.

twiztor · May 5

Destination-X
3/21/10, LIVE @ The Impact Zone, Orlando, FL

Here we are, at the X-Division showcase event of the year. The buildup has been somewhat .... lacking, to say the least. But let's see how the action stacks up when people have to pay to see it.

Spoiler

Opening video package mainly highlights Kurt Angle, Hulk Hogan, and AJ Styles. But they do include a short portion to remind us this is all about the X-Division.
Somebody has a Matt Morgan sign. i'm glad his family got the invite, but you'd think they'd get better seats than third row from the back.

#1 X-Contender / Ladder Match: Brian Kendrick vs. Amazing Red vs. Daniels vs. Kazarian
Red and Kazarian both target Daniels early, and before long all 4 men are on the floor. Red does his running corkscrew plancha in the first 30 seconds, so he's the first one to take the high risk. Kendrick sprints to the ring with a ladder and we're back to a free-for-all. Daniels tries the Terry Funk move of having the ladder around his neck and spinning, but he seems to be targeting his opponents' legs. Red leapfrogs the swing and trips Daniels, who probably regrets that tactic about now. Tenay talks about Kendrick being a loner, which is absolutely not something they've shown on TV up till now. Daniels with a split legged moonsault to Kaz, who is laying on a ladder stretched between the ring and guardrail. Daniels for some reason then stands on the ladder to celebrate, so Red springboard hurracanranas him from there to the floor. Kaz and Red battle atop the ladder in the ring, and Kaz goes for his Flux Capacitor, but Kendrick pushes it over so both men tumble to the mat and floor respectively. You know, they've done a pretty good job of differentiating how each man uses the ladder- Daniels as a bludgeoning weapon, Kendrick as a platform to slam others into, Red as a way of highering his risk, and Kendrick as a means to an end. It adds the perfect continuity to this kind of multiman mayhem. Kaz powerbombs Daniels into the ladder, spread in the corner between two sides of the ring. We've hit the point in the match (12 minutes!) where everybody hits their signature moves on each other, leading to a sort of reset. Daniels shoves both Red and Kendrick through the rungs of the ladders, somewhat trapping them as he climbs. Kaz springboards in and lands on the ladders. He locks his legs and suplexes Daniels to the mat (this looked like it could have gone real bad, real quick!) and is able to grab the contract to (again!) become the #1 contender. This was a pretty damn good match if you like spotfests. The ladder(s) were used well and they hit most of the spots you've come to expect, but it didn't feel old hat at any point. This was damn near 15 minutes of almost total nonstop action (pardon the pun).

Tenay and Taz are flapping the gums, running down the card. Flair's music plays, and he makes his way onto the entrance ramp. He's in a wheelchair and being pushed by Chelsea. He talks and yells and blames Hulk Hogan and "The Abyss" for his present situation. i had already forgotten that he called him that.
Now we're backstage in Hulk's office. He and "The Abyss" are sitting on a couch prepping for Abyss' match. Hulk is giving Abyss pointers on how to believe in himself and in the power of the Byss-ites, the Byssamaniacs. Abyss is wearing his traditional black gear, but now his mask is red and the outfit has splotches of red and yellow. Bischoff enters, and the whole point of that was for them to make fun of Eric's haircut.

Knockouts Title: Daffney vs. Tara (c)
they trade strikes to start. Tara with the early advantage, but Daffney turns it around quick. The raises herself in the corner and stomps on Tara (who is lying on the mat but has her face above the bottom turnbuckle) in a brutal looking move. Tara with probably the worst looking Tarantula i've seen her do yet. Daffney folds Tara in half and ties her up with a rear figure four (i have no idea if this has a technical name). Tara reverts to strikes and a big spinebuster that looked good enough to be the finish, but was only a 2 count. Daffney with a northern lights suplex but only gets a 2 of her own. Tara with a swinging side slam but still only two. Daffney grabs the title belt and swings it at Tara, who ducks and lands the Widow's Peak for the win and title retention at about 7 minutes. This match definitely overperformed, but the finish itself was a bit flat for me. Post-match, Tara celebrates while Daffney spidernaps Poison (Tara's tarantula) and escapes.

Christy Hemme backstage with Brutus Magnus, who from now will only be known as Magnus. Like Dr. Frankenstein, Magnus will be forced to destroy the monster of his making. But unlike the good doctor, Magnus will enjoy it.

Global Title: Magnus vs. Rob Terry (c)
Terry overpowers Magnus from the start. Terry with a big front powerslam. a spin wheel kick, and then a big sidewalk slam for three. a 90 second squash.

Ultimate X / #1 Tag Contenders: Generation Me vs. MotorCity Machine Guns
Pre-match, MMGs are back with Christy Hemme. Sabin tells Generation Me that they are not ready to compete at this level. Shelley adds that they've been in TNA longer than Gen Me has had their Hardy Brothers starter kits. He says nothing will stop them from their destiny, come hell or high wire. good line.
Tenay tells us this is the 20th Ultimate X match, and Sabin's 13th. Shelley shows a look of concern at the structure as he enters. Gen Me are trying to beat MMGs at their own game, but when they start to imitate the MMGs own moves, Sabin & Shelley take over. on the floor, Shelley gets Max Buck up on his shoulders, and Sabin springboards out of the corner with a crossbody block. It's cool seeing Gen Me come in here and really get their first chance to show off their style on the national level. Lots of the same double team moves they still use to this day, but it really shows off how different they were at the time, even compared to MMGs who were a different level than their contemporaries, and how much it really has influenced what's to come in the last 15 years. Trying to type a move-by-move recap would be an impossible task, so just know that there's not a wasted moment or movement in the entirety of this thing. At one point, Max is suspended from the ropes, and Shelley just tickles him, causing Max to drop. the crowd is eating up every single second of this. Eventually, the experience of Shelley and Sabin prevail over the youthful exuberance and speed of Generation Me. This was 12 minutes that didn't slow down.

JB backstage with Hall and Syxx.
JB: 'if you guys don't win tonight, you will be banned for life'
Syxx: 'you just said banned for life. that's funny, cause you call us "the Band", you know, and then you said 4 Life'. It was, in fact, not that funny. Syxx says they'll go through anyone to get these contracts: Nash, Young, Crosby, Stills....
Scott Hall & Syxx-Pac vs. Eric Young & Kevin Nash
the Band does not have entrance music, much to my disappointment. Hall does a sad version of his survey. "one more for the bad guys"
Eric Young calls out Syxx to start. EY is now wearing black trunks, which feels like a downgrade. EY pretty much manhandles him until Hall distracts him from the outside, allowing Syxx to take over. Tag in to Hall, who plays the hits with his shoulder strikes followed by a fallaway slam. Syxx sends EY to the outside and then a somersault dive over the top rope. Ref misses the tag to Nash, allowing Syxx to grab a can of spraypaint, and sprays EY right in the face. Referee doesn't seem to be able to do anything about this for some reason. Hot tag to Nash, who powerbombs Eric Young. He "tags" Eric back in, Syxx with the X-Factor facebuster, Hall with the Razor's Edge, and the three count. This was about as acceptable as you could get out of these guys, going about 8 minutes. Syxx spraypaints an outline around EY's prone body.

JB backstage with Kurt Angle. Angle dismisses JB, saying he wants to do this one solo. He holds up his dogtag. Then he holds up a photo of Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson and lights it on fire.

X-Division Title: Shannon Moore vs. Doug Williams (c)
Shannon Moore is "the Prince of Punk", but Tenay keeps referring to his appearance as a "glam rock look", which i find hilarious. If you were curious when Moore's last TNA win was, you might find it interesting that it was 4 years ago, on the 2006 Destination-X pre-show beating Cassidy Riley. I really couldn't care less about this match. Moore with a sloppy moonsault from the top rope to the outside. Williams grabs a brick or something from under the ring and nails Moore in the face with it after 6 1/2 minutes. This wasn't bad, but nobody gave a shit about it. Post-match, Williams grabs a mic and tells Moore he didn't deserve a title shot in the first place. Then he runs down the X-Division and its competitors, calling them acrobats who belong in the circus. He steals a woman's purse at ringside and draws all over Moore's face with her lipstick.

Tag Team Titles: Beer Money, Inc. vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez (c)
oh shit, in my recap for the last Impact, i said i had no idea who the tag champs were defending against. But i had forgotten that a week or two earlier, Hernandez had offered a shot to Beer Money. But since then, Beer Money inexplicably turned heel and were sidetracked into the Bischoff booking void and i completely forgot. mea culpa. It doesn't matter anyway, since the only story TNA cares about here is whether the champs can get along.
Hernandez had been getting a mega push, which i didn't necessarily agree with, but this sideline run with the tag belts has diminished him greatly. Hernandez does most of the offense in the ring, while Morgan stands in the corner and badmouths his own partner and acts unimpressed. Meanwhile, Morgan is big and acts as the boss of the team. This sucks, completely because of Morgan. How is Morgan received by the wrestling fandom at large? i never really had a strong opinion of him, but the more that i see, the less impressed i am. Roode lands a Buff Blockbuster at the six minute mark, and then Beer Money takes over with rest holds on Hernandez. They give him a double superplex, but that's only worth a two count, and then they go back to a rear chinlock. Storm with his 8 Second Ride tornade reverse ddt. H finally lands his slingshot shoulderblock, and gets the ice cold tag to Morgan. Morgan dominates both of Beer Money and then tags H, who immediately suicide dives Roode. He rolls H back into the ring, where he lands his finisher on Storm and gets the three count. this got ABSOLUTELY NOBODY OVER. Post-match, Morgan lands the big Carbon Footprint on his partner. This was 12 minutes that i wish i didn't watch.

Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson vs. Kurt Angle
thankfully, we do not get the whole ~~Ken~~Anderson entrance schtick. The match starts and Kurt immediately takes him down with a headlock. It's been 45 minutes and the spraypainted outline of Eric Young is still on the mat. It draws the eye and makes you realize how dirty the mat really is. Angle has been completely dominant in the wrestling hold game, and now offers ~~Ken~~Anderson to grab a headlock of his own. ~~Ken~~Anderson takes the bait, and Angle just shucks him off. Then offers it again. ~~Ken~~Anderson goes for it again, with the same result. Again Angle sticks his neck out. This time ~~Ken~~Anderson boots Angle in the midsection and THEN grabs the headlock. It doesn't fare any better for him, as he pretty much immediately gets back suplexed. Kurt has just dominated these first six minutes. Just as I type this, ~~Ken~~Anderson turns it around by hanging Angle's arm over the top rope and then pounding on him. He's targeting the arm with shoulderblocks and a keylock.
This match wasn't being worked at a fast pace, but it has slowed TREMENDOUSLY. Angle ducks out of a Mic Check attempt and lands a trio of German Suplexes. then an Angle Slam, but only a two count. Angle with the Ankle Lock, but ~~Ken~~Anderson kicks him off which nearly levels the referee. Low blow and a Mic Check, but now ~~Ken~~Anderson only gets a two. Angle off the top with a frog splash, but HE only gets two. Now ~~Ken~~Anderson ducks a clothesline but it DOES level the referee this time. ~~Ken~~Anderson with an Angle Slam. He grabs a chair, then thinks twice and grabs the dogtag instead. But Angle avoids the blow and carves ~~Ken~~Anderson with it instead. Angle wakes up the referee and locks in the Ankle Lock, forcing ~~Ken~~Anderson to tap out.
Post-match, ~~Ken~~Anderson calls for his microphone, which lowers. He calls people fake and questions Angle's Olympic credentials and tells him he's not a Real American. Then he exaggerates the truth, that he was trying to have a straight up wrestling match but Kurt had to resort to illegal tactics.
i expected this to be a hate filled brawl based on the build, but the early breaking down of ~~Ken~~Anderson by Angle was a nice move. But then that never really paid off anywhere, and it just meandered for its majority. i guess the match finish was cathartic for the story they were telling, but it didn't do much for me. lasted just shy of 18 minutes but they could have cut out a chunk of the middle section for the same effect.

TNA World Title: "The Abyss" (without Hulk Hogan) vs. AJ "Stylin' and Profilin'"Styles (without wheelchair bound Ric Flair)
Christy Hemme backstage with AJ Styles. AJ doesn't care if Abyss has Hogan's ring, Superman's cape, and Samson's hair. AJ's walking away the champ.
JB with Abyss. Abyss channels the 1980s and says he's going to win because he has the power of the Hulkamaniacs. This is the kind of thing that SHOULD be up my alley. i love me some '80s nostalgia and pure cheese. But it's just kind of dumb. Like, i don't hate it, but it's also so shallow that i can't buy in.
Abyss' entrance music starts off the same, but speeds up as it goes. I am intrigued....until 'American Made' kicks in, and then i sigh. Just as AJ gets to the ring, Chelsea wheels Flair out to ringside. How much of a slap in the face is it for Desmond Wolfe to not get booked on PPV, but his valet does?
Abyss jumps AJ before the announcements are finished. They're fighting on the ramp, with Abyss pounding AJ right at the feet of Flair. AJ ties Abyss up in the ropes, then charges him, but Abyss tosses him like an overhead belly-to-belly suplex. That was pretty neat. AJ with a complete somersault over the top rope to the floor, which looked pretty awesome. AJ wedges a Chekhov Chair in the corner turnbuckle. they fight for a few minutes, trading some advantage. AJ with the Pele kick. Abyss catapults AJ into the corner and then lands his Shock Treatment backbreaker, but only gets a two count. AJ with the Spiral Tap, but he only gets two. AJ is slackjawed that it didn't result in three. This allows Abyss to recover and land the Black Hole Slam, but that also is only good for two. Flair calls the ref over and sprays something in his eyes. AJ with the low blow and he nails Abyss with the title belt. Hulk Hogan makes a big entrance with Earl Hebner. Hulk wheels Flair to the back while AJ is like a lost little boy without his mentor. He finally sets up, and lands a springboard 450 splash, but that also is only good for two. Now Abyss Hulks Up. Punches. Big Boot. And he lifts AJ up for the Chokeslam, but powers him right through the mat! Hebner calls for the bell, so i guess it's a no contest?
Post-match, Hulk comes out and raises Abyss' hand and gives him the TNA World Title. Hebner pulls the belt away though. Chelsea wheels Flair back out, and Abyss goozles him. Then Hebner trips over the hole in the ring. Then Abyss steps backwards into the hole. This is turning into a comedy of errors. Wait, here comes Desmond Wolfe. he did get booked after all! He has the illustrious honor of getting beaten up by both Hulk and Abyss, then he trips over Flair and falls into the hole in the ring. Flair is flopping around and HE falls in. This was trash.
The match itself was fine here, but they have had much better matches in the past. Abyss fighting from underneath just doesn't work easily when he has such a massive size advantage. and of course the ending sequence sucked.

this may be hard to believe, but the Ultimate X match and X-Division Ladder match were by far the best matches on the card. Kudos to Tara and Daffney too, who had a match that was WAY better than i expected. i thought the NWO reunion match was fine, but if you're not an nWo-ite, then your opinion probably does not align with mine there. Everything else wasn't great. The ending of the show was giving me real Dungeon of Doom vibes, and i mean that in the absolute worst possible way.

You know who i miss? Samoa Joe. Jay Lethal. Homicide. Hell, even #1 Contender the Pope, who bizarrely wasn't on this show.

7 Impacts and one PPV until this journey is at its end.

SirSmUgly · May 5

Just getting caught up on this dope-ass thread.

On 3/28/2026 at 8:24 AM, twiztor said:

January 4, 2010
"Time For A Change"

Hogan shitting on Jarrett, after Jeff was putting over the company, is just baffling.

This feels like Hogan finally getting to verbally bury Jarrett for BatB '00. Hogan was extremely salty about Jarrett going along with Vince Russo's plans.

On 3/30/2026 at 5:55 PM, twiztor said:

January 14, 2010

Generation Me vs. MotorCity Machine Guns

The AEW sickos seem pretty excited for the rematch in 2026. I knew who the Bucks were during this run, which did nothing for me. I like the MCMGs a fair bit better, but it feels like this tag division has a lot of pieces that are going to be ignored for an ill-advised centering of the Nasty Boys.

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Hogan is supposed to be the savior of the company, a face, but Bischoff is more of a tweener, in that he is a smarmy douche but makes face-ish decisions, but also he's coming across very underhanded.

Bischoff is naturally unlikeable. I don't know why he'd ever try to do anything but heel.

On 4/4/2026 at 11:11 AM, twiztor said:

TNA GENESIS
January 17, 2010

2/3 Falls Match for the Knockouts Title: Tara vs. ODB (c)
First Fall: Tara dominates the first few minutes with strikes. ODB starts to make a comeback through her toughness, but Tara gets a rollup pin in less than 3 minutes. ok then.
Second Fall: ODB comes back with a fury. The camera keeps focusing on a bald guy in the front row, that Tenay tells us is a member of the Tamp Bay Bucs. He's a few seats down from Brooke Hogan. Between them is apparently is N'SYNC's Joey Fatone. This will (hopefully) conclude our 'Irrelevant Celebrities' segment. ODB has the advantage with her rough 'n' tumble style and then she gets an extended bodyscissors segment. ODB loses one of the cups in her top so she is now lopsided. Tara with the Widow's Peak to score the second fall and regain the Knockouts Championship. This fall goes about 7 minutes, and i must say that this is an interesting (not necessarily in a good way, but i'm willing to see where it goes) booking choice. ODB has been presented as one of the top ladies, so losing two straight falls is odd. Especially after basically getting rolled in fall 1.

i was going to put in the PPV buyrate here, to mirror the TV viewership, but apparently those numbers have never been available.

The abundance of new/former WWE talent was overwhelming. I wouldn't have a problem with most of these names in a vacuum (well, except Val Venis. That signing is just baffling). But in such a short timeframe, it has caused problems on two fronts- deemphasizing current TNA talent, and also diminishing the impact of any of these guys on their own.

No Samoa Joe. No MotorCity Machine Guns. No Jay Lethal/Consequences Creed. No Homicide. No Suicide. No Team 3D/Rhino/Jesse Neal. No Beautiful People. No mention whatsoever of Eric Young and his World Elite. No Jeff Jarrett. Even other big names that have been here longer aren't immune to this. No Booker T. No Scott Steiner. No reference to Mick Foley.

I stuck these two together because as a viewer, what brought me to TNA from about 2008 - 2010 was the women's division (oops, sorry, Knockouts Division) and the women who contested the title in the tag titles match back on the first episode of the Bischgan (Hogoff?) Era were who I was really into, along with Gail Kim when she was around. Now we've got no time for the champs or the previous number one contenders on these shows because we have to spotlight Val Venis and the Band (and I love Syxx-Pac, but sorry, no).

I think having Victoria on top was sort of a bummer. I was never an ODB fan, but she got quite over as I recall, and her in the mix with the previous four women would have been great. Toss Cheerleader Melissa into that mix, and you have a good base. I mean, Victoria is a solid enough part of that base, too, but I don't need to see her with the big women's belt.

Basically, put more Ayako Hamada on my screen back in 2010, please.

On 4/6/2026 at 6:37 PM, twiztor said:

January 21, 2010
"AJ Styles....WOOO"

i had my doubts that Hogan and Bischoff coming in would sour me on TNA so immediately, and i tried to keep an open mind, but here we are. this is week THREE. we won't even hit the move to Mondays for another like six weeks. somebody put me out of my misery.

But don't you want to see the Nasty Boys slowly squash younger wrestlers? I don't enjoy Eric Young, but geez.

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Mr. ~~Ken~~Anderson struts to ringside with an open suit jacket over an untucked, no-tope-button shirt, jeans, and... sneakers. He's not here in TNA because the fans told him they want him in TNA. He's here in TNA because Hulk Hogan called him personally and offered him an opportunity. He's not here to run his mouth like everyone else (irony truly is dead) but actions speak louder than words. Abyss sneaks in behind him while Anderson is badmouthing him. He just keeps standing there while Anderson is flapping his gums. Abyss finally acts, landing a big punch and a running corner charge before Anderson escapes.

If they had hired him to be the ring announcer who wrestles occasionally and not a spot main eventer who lived in the upper-midcard, it could have worked!

Quote

i had my doubts that Hogan and Bischoff coming in would sour me on TNA so immediately, and i tried to keep an open mind, but here we are. this is week THREE. we won't even hit the move to Mondays for another like six weeks. somebody put me out of my misery.

I say this because I just listened to the latest episode of If Books Could Kill, but feeling defeated so soon? I think you need to develop some GRIT, buddy!

Let me know if that lady scammin' for a book deal via an over-shared TED Talk refocuses you!

twiztor · May 5

@SirSmUgly not quoting since i don't want to try to break it apart. But i do want to respond to a few things, since i'm two months past these episodes now.

Hogan using that as an opportunity to "get one over on Jarrett" makes quite a bit of sense, actually. I read it as bluster, and as if the fans would agree that the show agree with him that the show wasn't great. He wanted to make it VERY CLEAR that he was the #1 best thing to ever happen to the company, and he needed the fans to buy that as well. i don't mean this as a political statement, but it's scarily similar to the way that Donald Trump hosts his rallies. He talks with these grand ideas built off basic concepts that are/should be/could be universally accepted, but doesn't really explain how he intends to get to that point.

i'm excited for the MMGs to potentially show up in AEW, but a match or feud vs. the Young Bucks is not something i'm pining for. They have been a bright spot on the TNA roster over the last year or two or whenever they started teaming.

ODB has disappeared from TV. ~~Cheerleader Melissa~~ Alisha Flash/Raisha Saeed has disappeared from TV. Awesome Kong has disappeared from TV. Hamada has disappeared from TV and has just been stripped of the KO tag titles. Gail Kim's been out of the company for quite awhile now. I agree that ~~Victoria~~ Tara is a very good addition to a roster. We have eliminated everyone to the point that she and the Beautiful People ARE the KO roster. It is such a far cry from when it was a shining beacon of the company.

Eric Young has had his ups and downs. i thought he was presented well as the leader of the World Elite. i somewhat enjoyed him as Super Eric. the "Don't Fire Eric" guy had his moments. as a Taem Canada member he wasn't really that memorable. as Kevin Nash's little buddy, he's a complete non-issue. I'd still take any of those personas over the freaking Nasty Boys.

Anderson has already worn thin any interest i had in him. I may have already said this, but i missed almost all of his WWE run but i had friends who thought he was awesome, so i was excited to give him a chance. he's decent in the ring, but he's obnoxious (in a bad way) on the mic and his whole presentation is exhausting to me. Also, i want to take back what i said in that one review when i wrote "irony truly is dead". i see now (and everyone that was familiar with him probably saw then) that the irony was the entire point of the promo. i agree with your assessment of Anderson's best use on a wrestling card.

I got the GRIT, man! i'm pushing through to the end. 2010 TNA will concede defeat in this war before i will! After this project, which officially ends when TNA retreats to Thursdays, i'm even going to check out the build to their unofficial ECW reunion show, HardCORE Justice (August 2010). and then try to track down the Jeff Jarrett MMA stuff. Momma didn't raise no quitter!!

SirSmUgly · May 5

Reading the rest of these is giving me flashbacks to 1998 Nitro.

I think it speaks to Vince McMahon and his team of creatives that they took a bunch of people who were okay-to-bad talkers from WCW and made them solid-to-good talkers in WWE, and Eric Bischoff is maybe the prime example of that.

He's a terrible babyface because he's so naturally smarmy, but his air of dishonesty and his natural gladhanding instincts are obvious as a heel...

...and yet he was terrible at heeling in WCW and then terrible at heeling in TNA. The only place he was any good at it was his WWE run, and he was very good in that role.

Says a lot about how effective that WWE's direction of him actually was.

twiztor · May 5

to give Bisch at least a little credit, nothing he does here sinks to the level of his 1998 run where he has the talk show set. he obviously took some lessons from his time in WWE. And honestly, if he wasn't ALL OVER these cards, i wouldn't mind him half as much. He's not outright terrible, just overexposed (and a little terrible).

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