Smugly reviews all of Lucha Underground (or at least tries to before it becomes hard to find on the internet due to takedowns and capricious copyright holders)

[tbarrie]

7 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

There are many reasons that I don’t watch AEW, but the biggest one is that they’re a company running with Moxley, Swerve, Hangman, and MJF as four of their main event guys. Good god, that might be the least watchable set of main eventers in the history of big-time professional wrestling on cable/streaming.

Smelly, I love your write-ups, but you've got some odd wrestling tastes.:) All four of those characters are awesome, in my opinion. And no two of them have much in common that I can see, so it's surprising that none of them are to your liking.

[zendragon]

11 hours ago, just drew said:

Smelly, not for nothing, but I cannot get a handle on your taste in wrestling. You don't like lucha, you don't like AEW. I'm asking in good faith; what DO you like?

He wrote a whole ass wcw thread about it

[SirSmUgly]

17 hours ago, zendragon said:

Cage and Mack had a pair of matches in AEW so good that Tony K signed Mack to a contract.

I dig Mack so much, but I have an affinity for chubby athletes. If a dude looks like he shotguns beers on the weekends, but he can jump out of the gym, I'm rooting for him more often than not. Cage I complain about because he gets too in love with running and flying and overly-complex strongman moves when I think his best stuff is simple. He's a fun midcarder, though. I get on his case too much, probably. 

 

16 hours ago, just drew said:

Smelly, not for nothing, but I cannot get a handle on your taste in wrestling. You don't like lucha, you don't like AEW. I'm asking in good faith; what DO you like?

I always wonder if I talk too much more about what I don't like than what I like. I feel like I rave about the stuff I like all the time, but maybe not in proportion to talking about the stuff I don't like. 

I don't dislike lucha, for what it's worth. I don't like the flippy trios tag type stuff with dive after dive and contrived (to me) multiman spots. On the other hand, I love a good lucha brawl. My favorite stuff ringwork-wise in this season of LU has been stuff like the Casket Grave Consequences Match. That was a great lucha arena brawl, sort of a mix between some of the old school lucha brawls I've seen and an ECW-style arena brawl, with Fenix being forced to fight up from underneath and limiting his crazy but immersion breaking moves to sell beautifully. 

Anyway, here's some stuff that I've talked about liking at DVDVR over the past three or four years, either in passing or by writing entirely too many words about it:

• 1995 - mid-1998 WCW (People seem to think 1998 WCW fell off a lot earlier than I did, FWIW.
• 2001 WCW
• 1992 WCW
• JCP (even the 1988/1989 years where it seemed like a major star left every month)
• Mid-South (especially 1983/1984)
• Portland in the '70s and early '80s
• Broadly, the WWF between about 1984 and 1998 (I need to watch a lot more late '70s/early '80s WWF, honestly)
• 2014-2016 NXT (this is also the last WWF that I've ever watched)
• UWFi (I watched a lot of this, but didn't write about it. I should go back and do that)
• Memphis (oh man, do I love me some Memphis, even the bad stuff)

That's just off the top of my head. I sense that I should talk more about these things so that it doesn't seem like I hate pro wrestling! 

 

[SirSmUgly]

15 hours ago, tbarrie said:

Smelly, I love your write-ups, but you've got some odd wrestling tastes.:) All four of those characters are awesome, in my opinion. And no two of them have much in common that I can see, so it's surprising that none of them are to your liking.

I totally agree that they are very different characters. I hate all of their promoing, though, and I just cannot stand their work in different ways (from my perspective, Moxley's deathmatch-adjacent stuff and terrible punches is different from Swerve looking like a goofball in there with a bunch of high spots that I don't like, but I dislike them both equally). 

AEW is so weird to me in that I want it to be successful as a promotion while at the same time, I hate pretty much everything about it from an entertainment standpoint. I probably watch an episode of Dynamite every year or two at this point to see if my opinion should hold, or else I watch a match that everyone at DVDVR is raving about, and yeah, I am not a fan of the house style or anything the wrestlers are doing, sadly. Except for Toni Storm. She cracks me up. 

5 hours ago, zendragon said:

He wrote a whole ass wcw thread about it

In the defense of any reader of that thread, it got bleak in October of 1999 and didn't really let up until the back end of 2000. That's a lot of posts where I was hating on WCW!

[SirSmUgly]

Season 1, Show 37: “PenUltima Lucha” or Dario Cueto: Mystery of the Seven Medallions

• Recap: Six of Dario Cueto’s seven ancient Aztec medallions have been claimed so far. I sense that the medallion winners might be meeting at Ultima Lucha somehow, though Dario has not (yet) intimated as such. Meanwhile, Cage and Willie Mack still have beef as do Texano and Blue Demon Jr. (thanks for causing that last beef, Chavo Jr.!)

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Dario Cueto, sticking his foot in it while talking to Big Ryck in his office: “You and I lately haven’t exactly been seeing eye-to-eye.” He didn’t mean to make that faux pas; he winces and gulps a little bit. Dario resets and basically continues to stick his foot in it (“You’ve been blinded by Daivari’s money”) while essentially saying that Big Ryck hasn’t lived up to Dario’s expectations of him when he first signed Ryck to compete in the Temple. Dario wants to motivate Ryck to step up; he shows Ryck a medallion and offers it to him as a way to re-purchase his services from Daivari.

 

• Dario wants to know if Ryck prefers to keep collecting mere money or if he’d rather possess the power of an ancient Aztec medallion, but Ryck questions the binary nature of Dario’s proposition. In short, Dario not only gives away that seventh and final medallion to Ryck, but he also pays Ryck a fat stack of cash to get him back on Team Dario. Ryck has made a lot of money for very few kayfabe results this season, y’know? He’s the Joc Pederson of LU (yeah, I know I’m writing this after he just hit a walk-off home run the night before the original publication date of this review, but my point definitely still stands).

 

• We kick it to the desk, who hypes the plotlines leading up to Ultima Lucha before sending us to the ring, where Johnny Mundo opens the show against Texano. Both men come down a short ramp rather than the stairs, and I’m trying to remember if they’ve always done so or if LU has given these two special entrances. Vampiro says that pretty-boy gym strength (“always lookin’ for the abs”) like Mundo has can’t stand up to man strength (“liftin’ bulls”) that Texano has, and just in time for Texano to dominate with power inside the ring. I can’t believe how much this LU viewing has turned me around on Vampiro. You know, I wonder why this didn’t happen for me when I watched this about a decade ago. Something has changed in me and how I prefer my pro wrestling to cause my newfound appreciation of Vampiro in LU, and I’ll have to figure out what.

 

• This match is perfectly fine. Texano is a solid worker who hasn’t really been in there with wrestlers whom I enjoy yet, but I see the potential in his work. I bet if they threw him in there with a worker at least at the level of a guy like King Cuerno, we’d get a very good match between them. Mundo uses his agility and his newfound cheating skills to take over, but Texano fights up from a headlock and lands a few blows before monkey flipping Mundo, the latter of whom does a full rotation and lands on his face. The following pinfall attempt gets two.

 

• I genuinely enjoy your commentary, Vampiro, but there is no way that you are getting me to believe that Johnny Mundo is 6’3” and 260 pounds. None. The equally 6’3”, 260 lb. Texano (according to Vampiro) hits a leg lariat for two more. They trade two counts here. Mundo hits a leaping kick that triggers our recurring feature On a thigh-slap scale where “least obvious” is Prince Puma, “most obvious” is Fenix, and dead in the middle is Alberto El Patrón, these thigh slaps score a…Fenix, come on, Mundo. That shit looks terrible. This thigh-slapping shit is one of the most distracting trends in modern pro wrestling. I hate it. Just lay your shit in there and make it look good.

 

• Despite my complaints, this match is perfectly acceptable stuff. Texano, the better worker, lands here On a thigh-slap scale where “least obvious” is Prince Puma, “most obvious” is Fenix, and dead in the middle is Alberto El Patrón, these thigh slaps score a(n)…Alberto, so not great, but much better than Mundo. Ryck’s, no wait, Dario’s, oops, no, I mean Chavo’s flunkies get in the ring and attack Texano with a kendo stick before Texano can powerbomb Mundo. That earns a DQ win for Texano, but he gets stomped out until Alberto El Patrón can come to the ring, score himself on the thigh-slap scale, and beat the shit out of the flunkies as Mundo flees. Texano gets up and wears out his bullrope on the flunkies, then warily eyes his former rival Alberto, who just plasters a shit-eating grin on his face and leaves the ring without further incident.

 

• The next man invited into Dario’s office for a meeting is Hernandez, and It’s Product Placement Time! Hernandez prefers Miller Lite to hard liquor. Dario is Spanish and therefore should be giving Hernandez an Estrella Damm in kayfabe, but whatever, I’m a fan of LU making that money, honey! Too bad it didn’t help them survive for long enough to end the whole epic story in the long run. Dario appreciates what Hernandez has done to commit violence upon Drago, and this, along with a bunch of mean Tweets from the fans, has brewed up (heh) a new idea in that twisted mind of Dario’s: a Believers’ Backlash Match, which is basically a lumberjack match where fans in the Temple will be given straps to whip the wrestlers with, Hernandez of course being the prime target of said fans based on the mutual enmity between him and the fans.

 

• But let’s talk about this can of Miller Lite. First, Hernandez puts it on Dario’s desk, logo out, and Dario grabs it and gives it back to him because Hernandez didn’t use a coaster and this desk is made out of a fine mahogany, dammit! Then, Hernandez hears out Dario’s pitch and, after showing enthusiasm for it, ostentatiously opens the beer, logo out. We get a close-up of Hernandez cracking the tab and another one of him slamming it. Hernandez hopes for the opportunity to whip a few fans until their skin is raw. I mean, their chanting is annoying most of the time, but I think that’s going a bit far, my dude.

 

• Willie Mack and Brian Cage are in the ring to hook it up once more. Vampiro remains enthralled with Mack’s yellow-and-black attire. As the match explodes into pace from the opening bell, I must say that I am not surprised about zendragon’s info that Mack worked Cage in front of Tony Khan and got hired because I think Mack and Cage have a bit of natural chemistry together. Actually, I think they’d be a fun tag team. Cage gets overzealous a minute in, gets clubbed out of a move while trying to set up for something complex in the corner, and is quickly rolled up in a sunset flip for three. The enraged Cage jumps Mack after the bell, and then brawl at ringside (and toss aside a bunch of wimpy security guys while doing so). They brawl all the way up the stairs until Dario finally has to step out of his office and stop the brawl by telling them that they need to save their energy to fight one another on Ultima Lucha, Part I in a Falls Count Anywhere Match.

 

• Since he’s out here already, Dario decides to step into the ring and tell everyone about the awesome power of the ancient Aztec medallions that he’s been offering. He weaves together a story about these seven medallions and how, when put together, the form a Gift of the Gods belt that is basically like a Money in the Bank briefcase except that Dario is a promoter, not a corporate conglomerate that can make money hand over fist while shitting on its fans, so cash-ins aren’t instant; the belt holder must give Dario a week’s notice so that he can hype the thing and make money, which is what pro wrestling used to require before it went public, became the domain of billionaires rather than well-off-but-not-ueber-rich local promoters, and was thus financially insulated from consistently bad, stupid, or rushed booking decisions. Oops, sorry, went on a rant there!

 

• The other wrinkle to this deal is that, unlike the MitB briefcase needing to be defended within a year after winning it, the Gift of the Gods belt can be held for as long as one wants…except that other wrestlers can challenge for it, so you can lose your auto title shot to someone else in a match if you wait too long to cash it in. I actually like that idea so much that WWE should probably steal it for the MitB briefcase if they haven’t already. Once the Gift of the Gods belt is cashed in, the medallions are taken out of it and then once again redistributed until others can collect all seven and place them in the GotG belt, activating it once again for entrance into a match to win the belt. Cool, I like the improvements this GotG belt makes upon the MitB briefcase – there is a scramble for the medallions, which is better than the same six-man ladder match with the same high spots and the same “four guys lay around, two guys fight” structure of an MitB Match, with the bonus of not being able to rely on surprise cash-ins for cheap pops or to allow the bookers to avoid taking a direction that they don’t want to take even though the fans do (**coughcoughRandyOrtoncashinonDanielBryancoughcough**).

 

• We’re getting a seven-person match between the medallion holders to determine who will possess them all at Ultima Lucha. Dario calls all of the medallion holders to the ring, and I wonder if Fenix will make it or if this will be a six-person match instead. I’m rooting hard for Cuerno, though it wouldn’t displease me if Sexy Star won the belt. Anyway, I’m interested to see how the crowd and commentators react to Big Ryck coming out here since we television viewers know something they don’t. The crowd gets quiet and is obviously collectively thinking the thing that Matt Striker says on commentary, basically this: Hey, Ryck didn’t win one of those in a match, so Dario must have given him one; what are those two up to? That or the crowd was hoping for some amazing reveal for that seventh medallion and were bummed that it was only Ryck. Yeah, probably that second one.

 

• Dario demands that they put their medallion into a spot on the belt to confirm their placement in the Gifts of the Gods Match. They do, and we even get a snazzy sound effect when the medallion locks in. The crowd is extremely behind Sexy Star, by the way. They clearly want her to win. I’m expecting Fenix to show up any time now, but instead, Dario chuckles about Fenix not being here on account of Mil Muertes “destroy[ing] him.” Rude. Dario has somehow gotten the last medallion back from Fenix’s broken body, so he makes an impromptu Battle Royal to earn it where the last two people in the ring must win by pinfall or submission rather than by tossing one or the other opponent over the top rope.

 

• And here is where Fenix makes his reappearance in the Temple to a solid pop. The smile on Dario’s face is the same smile that a parent makes when their child is announcing an engagement to a partner that they don’t approve of, but they aren’t in a position to raise an objection about the proposal and are attempting to keep their bile down while feigning something that looks like joy. Dario: “Fenix, so good to see you, but you are a little late.” He does allow Fenix entry into the Battle Royal, offers Fenix a smarmy “Good luck” that he absolutely does not mean, and then leaves the ring.

 

• We come back from a break to see Fenix and a bunch of other dudes in the ring: Super Fly, Killshot, Argenis, Famous B., Ricky Mandel, Daivari, Mascarita Sagrada, Vinnie Masaro, and finally, Marty “the Moth” Martinez. Famous B. hits a DX-style crotch chop, a Pedigree, and then a legdrop, which is certainly a series of moves that are usually performed by sketchy human beings. He also tosses Ricky Mandel to the floor when Mandel rushes him as he hits the Hulkster pose. That counts as a good night for this jobber, huh?

 

• So many thigh slaps! So many obvious thigh slaps! Killshot’s dumb ass goes up top and poses, where he is easily eliminated when Daivari simply shoves him to the floor. Killshot being a kayfabe moron is hilarious to me, not gonna lie. Daivari then snaps Masaro’s neck over the top rope and eliminates him. Mascarita Sagrada must have caught a case of the stupids from being in close proximity to Killshot, for he lands a monkey flip on Super Fly from the apron that does eliminate Fly…but the momentum of hitting the monkey flip also rolls Sagrada right off the apron and to the floor as well. This battle royal is great solely for how ridiculous it is.

 

• It takes Daivari and Martinez to team up and shove Famous B. out; B. was over with this crowd after his performance by the way. Fenix is left with two heels, but he quickly tosses Daivari to break up the heel team-up and then faces off with the Moth. The crowd demands that Fenix KILL THE MOTH. I love that you can take even the babyfaces whom I don’t like and just stick them against the Moth, and I immediately and desperately want the babyface to win. There just aren’t many good true heels anymore, or maybe it’s that wrestling fans are too in tune with the meta aspects of wrestling and thus find it hard to lose themselves in a heel’s awful behavior. Martinez fakes a dive and bows after Fenix goes to the floor – remember, this match ends by pinfall or submission now, not by over-the-top-rope elimination – drawing the ire of the crowd. Vampiro, as Fenix hits an arm drag after multiple unnecessary rope bounces: “Cirque du Soleil here in Lucha Underground, no doubt!” He said it, so it’s okay that I say it, that’s what I’ve decided. The match ends shortly after when Martinez legitimately struggles to catch Fenix and totally botches the transition. Fenix still manages to wriggle around and manage a quick schoolboy for three. It was ugly, as Vampiro noted, but it gets the job done.

 

• Fenix locks his medallion into the Gift of the Gods belt; Dario steps just outside of his office and, watching Fenix celebrate, grinds his teeth in frustration. Dario’s facial expressions have been amazing tonight.

 

• Vampiro hypes Prince Puma speaking for the first time to end this show and then transitions to discussing Ultima Lucha, which will run three hours across two episodes. The first night will be an hour; the second night will run a full two hours. He and Striker run down the card once more, including the three matches that were confirmed tonight. Vampiro shows restraint by not hyping his own match against Penta at Ultima Lucha. I’m so excited about that match. WCW really had no idea what to do with Vampiro, did they?

 

• Prince Puma speaks in the center of the ring! He is sans Konnan; as you’ll recall from the previous show, Konnan got clobbered by Catrina’s powerful mystical Aztec stone, dumped in a coffin, and rolled out. Puma, who is sort of like Maggie Simpson in that he keeps getting cut off before he can speak, grabs a house mic and lifts it to his mouth…when he is interrupted by the entrance music of Mil Muertes and Catrina. Mil is wearing the lucha mask/well-fitted suit combo that is one of the best looks in the history of fashion for my money. That should be a Project Runway task right there. Design lucha masks and smart suits for the models.

 

• Anyway, Puma lays down his belt and gestures for Mil to step in the ring and cross it. Before Mil can get there, the Disciples of Death hop in the ring and attempt to beat down Puma, though at this, they are mostly unsuccessful. Puma clears them out while pointedly stealing glares at Mil, then dives onto them at ringside. That enrages Mil, who gets in the ring and tries to brawl his way to dominance. Puma uses his agility and speed to avoid damage, kicks Mil in the face, and locks eyes with Catrina before landing a 630 Senton Bomb. This is the first time all season that Puma has looked like a beast, so of course he’s likely going to lose the gold in a couple of shows.

 

• Really good go-home show with Dario working his magic and the rest of the matches set up for Ultima Lucha looking interesting and really improving what I thought was shaping up to be a somewhat mediocre card. 4 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

Edited August 6 by SirSmUgly

[zendragon]

Ditto on all the stuff about MITB v GOTG

also Marty flapping his wings feels like this weird kid grew up to be a pro wrestler https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti4sqG85FU4

[SirSmUgly]

Season 1, Show 38: “Ultima Lucha, Part I” or Grim Fandango, Act One

• Season one of Lucha Underground is coming to an end, and this show has seemingly hit its stride.

 

• Recap: We get a lengthy reminder of the season-long events that led to Mack/Cage, Drago/Hernandez, and Disciples of Death/Dysfunction Junction.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Black Lotus stays as in shape as she possibly can in her cell by doing pull-ups on the bars. Dario Cueto, who is wearing a tux and sipping champagne, jovially greets her. Of course, she flicks him off and then high kicks the sole light bulb hanging in her cell. Dario changes tack and instead says that his brother Matanza isn’t responsible for slaughtering Lotus’s parents; he says Matanza has daddy issues and compares him to pit bulls, who indeed have been historically bred and raised to be violent. Dario admits that their father exploited Matanza’s size to train him up as a ruthless pit fighter, but he denies that Matanza murdered her parents and says that the real killer was her trainer and ally El Dragon Azteca. I don’t know, Dario is giving me real “O.J. Simpson writing If I Did It” vibes.

 

• Dario weaves together a tale that Lotus’s father led the Black Lotus clan of Hong Kong and ended up in a war with El Dragon Azteca’s tribe somehow, and actually it was Azteca who killed Lotus’s parents. Cueto asserts that Azteca is a snake who delights in having lopped off the head of the Black Lotus clan and then bringing the daughter of the head under his wing. Dario’s words ring in Lotus’s head as she punches a silhouette of a man that she’s carved into the wall…and maybe punches her way out of the cell, who knows for sure at this point.

 

• That was a ton of story just dropped on us here. If I have one critique, it’s that they’ve gone away from mentioning Lotus’s detainment at all in like the past five or six shows. Maybe they should have doled some of this out across at least one show before this one instead of dropping a huge context bomb for the Dario/Matanza/Lotus/Azteca storyline here?

 

• While I’m here, I will note that we still haven’t reached the flash-forward from the first two shows in which El Dragon Azteca helps Prince Puma fight off a bunch of mooks. I’m wondering if we won’t reach that point until the start of season two, which would be some impressive forward planning from the creative team on this show.

 

• Matt Striker and Vampiro welcome us to Ultima Lucha, Part I (Season One). Let’s see if the wrestling can carry these final shows of the season.

 

• First up: Willie Mack vs. Brian Cage in a Falls Count Anywhere Match. Mack’s got two flash pinfall victories over Cage. Can he win a third, more definitive fall? Cage doesn’t even wait for his name to be announced; he jumps Mack as Mack makes his entrance at the top of the stairs. They fight right onto the roof of a storage room, then down the stairs. In a spot that had to hurt like a motherfucker, Cage clears out some of the audience members in the bleachers, but ends up caught and hit with an exploder suplex onto those hard ass bleacher seats. And that’s one minute in! I mean, that should be a match finisher, but it only gets two!

 

• That's the whole match, actually. They immediately take this thing up to eleven. There’s no escalation. If they’re going to go that direction – and let me be clear that this is an entertaining garbage brawl – then they shouldn’t be going for pinfalls off moves that should be match enders, at least not until they're headed toward the actual end of the match.

 

• These fellas are filled with the spirit of Raven; they add a fire extinguisher and a STOP sign to the mix. Mack is further filled with the spirit of Hacksaw Duggan and cracks a 2x4 over Cage’s body, then grabs a cooler full of brews and drills Cage in the head with it. Then, in a glorious instance of It’s Product Placement Time!, chunks of ice and cans of cold Miller Lite scatter across the floor as Cage flops unceremoniously to the ground. Mack does what anyone might do if they’re in or around the wrestling ring and have access to cans of cheap, shitty brews – he goes all Stone Cold and opens two, smashes them together, chugs them, and then lands a Stone Cold Stunner on Cage. I have a lot of time for this sort of nonsense product placement if it’s ging to continue being this entertaining (though Striker says that Willie is “pop[ping] a Mackweiser,” which is a different cheap, shitty brew from a different parent company, Striker! Dammit! Don’t fuck up LU’s beer money (heh heh) by alluding to inferior InBev products on commentary!

 

• Oh yeah, the Stunner only gets two. The crowd went absolutely insane for that spot, by the way. They are legit hyped. This is the rare THIS IS AWESOME chant that sounds genuinely and passionately overjoyed. The past two shows have had Pedigrees, Hulkster legdrops, and Stone Cold Stunners, and the crowd has eaten all that shit up. Anyway, Cage tries a comeback and fails; he instead eats a diving sitout powerbomb from the second rope and through a table…then kicks out at two, which is absolute fucking nonsense. This match is so comically stupid that I can’t be mad that pretty much every big move in this thing should have ended it. It’s a video game match with no logic or reason to it, but it’s entertaining, so I don’t give a shit. It’s the ‘80s action movie of wrestling matches. This match is basically Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando. That’s what it is. These dudes beat the hell out of each other in between 2.9s until finally, Cage curbstomps Mack’s head through a gimmicked cinderblock for three, which actually is a comedown because everyone knows that the cinderblock is gimmicked, and therefore it was less impactful than all the suplexes onto hard surfaces and diving powerbombs through tables and such. The comparatively meek spot that led to the finish was the biggest mistake about this whole stupidly enjoyable match.

 

• Striker and Vampiro run down the longer second part of Ultima Lucha, which originally aired a week after this show: Gift of the Gods Match, Texano vs. Blue Demon Jr., Johnny Mundo vs. Alberto El Patrón, Vampiro vs. Pentagón Jr., and Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes. A couple of notes: First, I guess Chavo Guerrero Jr. actually hurt himself and they seamlessly turned Demon heel in a reasonable way to take his place. It’s a bummer because Chavo/Texano would certainly have been a good match, and Chavo getting his comeuppance after attacking Demon way back at the beginning of the season (Season One, Show Two) would have ruled. Second, Vampiro keeps calling Mundo and El Patrón “former friends,” but a quick review of the seedy backstage interstitials that they were a part of clearly revealed them to be catty-ass frenemies at most.

 

• Dysfunction Junction attempts to survive another defense of their Lucha Underground Trios Tag Team Championships, this time against Catrina’s Disciples of Death. Ivelisse is still on crutches, which bodes poorly for the oddly-matched babyfaces. The Disciples jump the Junction at the bell; Ivelisse gets completely destroyed, as she’s wrestling on only one leg. I have no idea if Ivelisse is actually hurt or what. I assumed she was working this injury the whole time, but it seems that she must have been hurt shortly after the trios tag tournament, as I am pretty certain she was healthy during it. 

 

• Here, a disciple uses a stretch muffler on Ivelisse, but not on her leg with a walking boot on it, which indicates that no, this is not a worked injury. Otherwise, he would have locked the injured leg in the stretch muffler. Well, I’ll say this much: Lucha Underground has done a fine job of working through injuries if I’m right about which injuries are legit.

 

• The Junction gets utterly destroyed; Angelico is suplexed onto the bleachers, which gets a muted response because we just saw that a match ago. He does then recover and climb onto the roof of the nearby storage room before landing a spectacular desperation crossbody from the roof onto all three Disciples. The Disciples are hurt until the point at which Catrina gets in the ring and raises the stone, after which they slowly rise to their feet. Ivelisse confronts Catrina in the ring and arm drags her way out of a Catrina goozle. Ivelisse throws a few punches, but when she gets fired up, Catrina grabs the stone, switches positions, and knocks Ivelisse out with it. One of the Disciples slides into the ring and covers the knocked out Ivelisse for three and for the LU Trios Tag Team Championships. Then, Catrina finally gives Ivelisse a Lick of Death. I’m just trying not to go full Cibernetico right now. Overall, this match was fine. I think it was hurt by following Mack/Cage, though. The fans couldn’t get super fired up for this one because they were still a bit tired out by that all-action opener.

 

• It’s Product Placement Time!: Matt Striker toasts to the health and success of his buddy and commentary partner Vampiro with an ice cold Miller Lite. Corona or Dos Equis should be stepping up here and assuming a sponsorship role. Vampiro looks like he had to choke his way through chugging that garbage beer, though I would guess he’s had practice choking down garbage beers by drinking at least a few Molsons in his day. I did not buy Striker’s “so delicious, so refreshing” comment about this beer, either.

 

• Some dorks with straps surround the ring. Look, if they came to me as an actual fan and were like, Yo, you wanna carry a strap for this match, I would be like, Hell no. I don’t need to be accidentally hitting Hernandez in his face and catching a shoot ass whipping on national television. I’m making the obvious assumption that there are at least a few plants mixed in there to take a few of Hernandez’s punches. Anyway, Part I’s main event of Drago vs. Hernandez is on deck.

 

• Hernandez manages to start by dropkicking Drago to the floor, but the fans help Drago up. Hernandez tries to pursue, eats a ton of strap shots, and then runs away and calls for time out. He looks a bit shook as one would be. Drago legitimately blows a basement dropkick, but lands a few kicks and covers for it. Drago clotheslines Hernandez to the floor where some legit fans hit a few weak (and one good) strap shot. A plant wanders over and swings, but Hernandez angrily rips the strap away.

 

• It's too bad that Hernandez ended up going back to TNA because he was still under contract there. He’s a pretty entertaining part of this company and possesses a lot of positional versatility. I feel like he can probably lose quite a lot and still come off like a legitimate title contender when necessary. He also cuts solid promos. This is a fun little back-and-forth match between the two. Drago is having a bit of an off night and isn’t as fluid as he normally is; his Dragon’s Tail roll-up looks like something of a mess, and as Striker points out on commentary, he also has a harder time fluidly hitting it on a guy as long as Hernandez.

 

• Hernandez kicks out of Dragon’s finisher and Border Tosses Drago into the arms of a few plants at ringside before the best spot since the opening match occurs: Hernandez tries to follow up with a suicide dive, but Drago steps to the side, spits mist into Hernandez’s face as Hernandez plummets, and watches as Hernandez smacks the protective mats below head first. Then a bunch of fans whip Hernandez with straps. He backs away from them and right over to Drago, who beats him with nunchakus before splashing him through a table. Drago then rolls Hernandez back in the ring and hits another top-rope splash for three. Boy, this match exploded into awesomeness from the Border Toss spot on. This was a spot-on Charming Uniquity match because it was disjointed and somewhat flawed, and I bet most people wouldn’t adore it as much as I would, but despite its flaws, it was something unique and fun and interesting.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: El Dragon Azteca makes his way to the Temple. He is stopped by a masked man who fights to a stalemate with him. The masked man reasserts that Azteca cannot enter the Temple due to some sort of prophecy, but Azteca insists on entrance: “[Black Lotus] is a prisoner because I failed her.” The masked man wants to enlist the help of Prince Puma to bring Lotus to Azteca – hmm, I see we creep closer to the flash forward that I mentioned earlier in this review – but Azteca wants Puma to focus on his own struggles. The masked man offers to go help Lotus himself, but Azteca insists. The masked man notes that the prophecy says that Azteca will die if he enters the Temple, but Azteca believes that he and his dope dojo master spirit will live on forever. The masked man steps aside as Azteca enters this cursed temple. The doors close and the lights cut out after Azteca crosses the threshold. I am super hyped to find out what is going to happen next with this storyline.

 

• Boy, that was a really good first night of Ultima Lucha to the point that I have a hard time seeing the second night live up to it, Vampiro/Penta aside. It was a near-perfect wrestling show. 4.75 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

[SirSmUgly]

Season 1, Show 39: “Ultima Lucha, Part II” or Grim Fandango: Act Two

• Who knows what’s going to happen on our season finale of Lucha Underground? Though once again, I predict that a certain Permadeath Count ticks upward.

 

• After the season is over, I’m going to post a Season in Review that will include a Trending Up/Trending Down section, a Five Matches You Should Watch From Season One list, and a Five Interviews or Interstitials You Should Watch From Season One list before I get started on the second season reviews. This will be a regular end-of-season feature through the reviews of the fourth and final season of the show.

 

• Recap: Here’s the fairly detailed info about what happened in the run-up to the Gift of the Gods Match, Texano vs. Blue Demon Jr., Johnny Mundo vs. Alberto El Patrón, Vampiro vs. Pentagón Jr., and Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes! Also, who knows what will happen with the Cueto Bros., Black Lotus, and El Dragon Azteca, but we’ll surely get to find out by the end of the night.

 

• Vampiro is too busy getting ready to conjure up the beast within and cannot be here to lend his charming brand of commentary to tonight’s show, so Matt Striker is instead at the desk with special guest commentator Mike Schiavello. Striker does a WWE-style “changed the industry, thank you fans” opening that is unnecessary. Fuck that. WWE is a corporate entity focused on bland family experiences. On the other hand, the Temple hosts mostly illegal underground bloodsport. Know the difference, Striker.

 

• We open with this Johnny Mundo/Alberto El Patrón match, which is absolutely coming nowhere close to the nonsensically fun Cage/Mack match that opened night one of Ultima Lucha. Mundo should win this as he’s here for the long haul. I’m not sure why anyone would trust Alberto to stick around in AAA when WWE re-hiring him is a likely possibility, but maybe I’m speaking in hindsight. It’s sort of like Coach TK building around a mentally and physically frail guy like CM Punk – on one hand, I’m speaking from hindsight, but on the other hand, I and a lot of other people guessed that Punk would blow up his cushy spot in AEW as quickly as he could manage to when he first signed. Likewise, Alberto came off as erratic even by this early point, long before he started getting exposed for punching his life partners and sharing that publicly toxic relationship with Paige.

 

• Alberto comes out hot, chases a cowardly Mundo around ringside, and then tosses him into the commentary desk numerous times once he catches him. Mundo’s heel chicanery makes this match more than what it otherwise would be, to his credit. He scrambles under the ring, and after Alberto chases him, Mundo uses a handful of sawdust that he scrabbled up from the ground as he crawled for his life to blind Alberto, then tosses him around at ringside. Mundo’s work as a cowardly little shit is genuinely good. He still does that shitty-looking running knee, but I’ve given up on his offense improving to anything past sub-mediocre. If he can consistently heel effectively and bounce around for the offense of the righteous babyface, he’ll be fine.

 

• Of course, Alberto fights back as the righteous babyface, but Mundo has worked over Alberto’s knee and is able to attack it to stop Alberto from being as quick to rush him down and punch the shit out of him. The commentary desk isn’t very good tonight, the issue being that there are two PBP men at the desk and no color commentators. There are plenty of solid PBP people, but a shortage of good color commentators, is the problem.

 

• These fellas trade kicks and kick counters that don’t look particularly good before Alberto hangs himself up on the top rope and eats a hanging lungblower for what is a perfectly timed 2.9. Mundo goes up, dives, crashes, and burns when Alberto moves, then gets hit with a lariat that sends him to the floor. Alberto follows up and tries a suicide dive, but Mundo kicks him as he attempts flight. Mundo spills Alberto to the floor, then hits a slingshot corkscrew crossbody and tosses Alberto back into the ring.

 

• Alberto really isn’t long-term selling anything, though. Not the knee, not the arm that Striker carefully pointed out would be a long-term injury to watch during this match. Meh. Alberto is a wrestling idiot, full of sound and fury that signifies nothing in his matches. Does anything matter in these matches to him outside of hitting his spots? It’s like the guy has no sense of any of the important connective tissue that makes things mean something. I might shit on Johnny Mundo quite a bit – and I will certainly continue to do so, so my apologies if you like him, dear reader – but he understands things like the basics of heeling or how to at least sell an injury long-term when he’s babyfacing. Alberto just does shit, which doesn’t hold up when we have a bunch of guys who just do shit on this show, but who do far more entertaining shit. Brian Cage having a mindless spotfest is way more interesting than Alberto not holding up his end of the narrative while Mundo tries to infuse meaning into the proceedings.

 

• All that is to say that this match is better than I expected it to be, but would have reached actual goodness if Alberto could support Mundo’s work at making things interesting from a psychology standpoint. Mundo manages to double-stomp Alberto and land an End of the World, but Alberto kicks out at 2.9 again. Alberto is definitely great at timing kickouts. Mundo does a WWE-style shocked face, but I’ll forgive him that much. He’s worked his ass off. Alberto tries to make a comeback, but Mundo yanks ref Marty Elias in the way of an Alberto kick that slumps the portly ref.

 

• Alberto manages to get Mundo in a cross-arm breaker, and he initially taps out, but then decides to just leverage his way out of the hold instead. Alberto tries to reapply the cross-arm breaker over the ropes, but then, um, Melina Perez is suddenly at ringside holding Alberto’s AAA Mega Championship, and she whacks Alberto in the dome with it. Melina was in this company? I remember Mundo teaming with Taya Valkyrie, but I totally mindwiped seeing Melina enter the Temple. Mundo follows up with a second End of the World, and Elias revives just in time to count the three. These two crazy kids Mundo and Melina are back together and making out, and it sort of makes Mundo come off as low-rent to go back to his midcard beau from the Dub, but I do love the idea that he’s got a lady sidekick and love interest. It works for his heel character. Alberto gets his heat back by beating the shit out of Mundo after the match and tossing him through the window in Dario Cueto’s office door, BROTHER. Fuck this dude. Also, it’s time for a return of Yo, shut the fuck up, Matt Striker: He shares his plans to replay Alberto giving an attacking Melina a spanking multiple times on his DVR. Mundo sliced up his forehead after getting Jannetty’d by the way. It’s pretty gnarly.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Holy shit, Azteca continues his request to break Black Lotus out of her cell, but Dario Cueto is there in his snazzy tux to remind Azteca that he has broken a treaty in which he agreed to stay out of the Temple. Dario’s ready to punish Azteca with death; he takes the key for the cell that holds his brother Matanza from around his neck. Shit is about to pop off, and I am here for it. Azteca, distracted by Dario and the key, doesn’t notice Lotus maneuvering into position within her cell and grabbing him through the bars. Azteca realizes that Dario has told Lotus a totally different story about her parents' death than Azteca would tell and implores Lotus to realize that Dario is lying, but it’s been a whole season and she’s ready to revenge herself on someone already, dammit! Lotus hits Azteca in the back, just behind the heart, with a technique akin to the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, and Azteca slumps to the floor. Permadeath Count: 2 (Bael, El Dragon Azteca). Wild shit, folks!

 

• Dario then unlocks Lotus’s cell and implores her to come with him. Lotus is instead ready to roll out after her season long ordeal/quest for revenge, but Dario tells her that she has “started a war, and the only one who can protect you now is Dario Cueto.” Lotus buys it because she is a dumb babyface and takes Dario’s hand. Dario plans to abandon this Temple and create a new one, and of course, he’s bringing that sick fuck brother of his with him. He unlocks Matanza’s cell, and shit is going haywire, folks! Everything is absolutely fucked! But in a fun fictional fantasy way rather than a sad real-life way for once!

 

• Pentagón Jr. meets Vampiro in what is being billed as a Cero Miedo Match. Vampiro is announced as being “From the underbelly of Mexico,” but “Thunder Bay” is a rad wrestling town to be from. I get it, though. Ian’s from Thunder Bay, Ontario; Vampiro is from the seedy underbelly of Mexico. Vamp walks out here dressed like an unholy inversion of a Catholic bishop. This is absurd in the best possible way. It’s the sort of absurdity that only pro wrestling can accomplish in this very particular theatrical way.

 

• Penta gets things started by beating unholy hell out of Vampiro with a chair. Striker talks about all the neck injuries and surgeries that Vampiro has had as Penta targets Vamp’s neck, and yeah, I saw Mike Awesome break the guy’s neck with a wild Awesome Bomb from the ring to the floor on a nothing WCW show myself. It was nasty work. Vampiro is an out-of-shape, perpetually injured chubby middle-aged man, and that is what is so good about this match; Penta is clearly too much for him from a physical standpoint, but Vampiro has made me believe that he’s so naturally dangerous that I think he can pull this out.

 

• Of course, Penta then pulls up the mats at ringside and fireman’s carry drops Vamp onto the floor, then tosses chairs at the fallen veteran of the ring wars before beating his neck with a chair. The ref tries to call this one off, but Penta’s not done. He’s busy choking Vamp with a cable from a camera. We cut to break as the ref ends the match and Vamp does a stretcher job. Penta is still in the ring celebrating as they try to wheel Vampiro out, but Vamp fights his way off the stretcher, punches a couple of medics, and wobbles back into the ring. Vampiro is cooked, but he manages a punch and a wheel kick, and I can’t help but root for this in-over-his-head lunatic. This crazy son of a fuck gets out the thumbtacks and pours them everywhere. I hate thumbtack spots. I’m particularly squeamish about them for some reason.

 

• GODDAM, Vampiro successfully slams Penta onto the tacks, but then goes up top and misses a wild dive as Penta rolls out of the way and is studded with tacks. Aww Penta grabs a fluorescent light tube and pops Vamp in the head with it, then grabs a shard of the bulb and further opens up one of Vamp’s cuts…and licks Vamp’s blood as it soaks his tape. This is exactly the type of nutbar violent match they should be having. It’s a bit too deathmatch-y for me in its violence compared to what I normally like in my pro wrestling violence, but I can live with it only because the story that LU is telling with these two fits this type of violence. I’m absolutely not a “deathmatch for the sake of a deathmatch” guy, but in very specific situations where this sort of extreme violence has been properly built to, I am okay with it.

 

• Vamp gets his ass whipped and is bleeding buckets, but Penta is simply too casual about putting his prey away. He takes too much time to set up a light tube in the corner and ends up hip tossed into it; Vampiro then tears apart Penta’s mask by the eyeholes in what is somehow the biggest show of disrespect in this whole fucked up match. Vamp tastes some of his own blood before smashing Penta in the dome with a light tube.

 

• This match is too much. At the point where Vampiro hits a super release belly-to-belly that dumps Penta into the tacks, I’m about done, man. Please end this match before I have an excitement-based coronary. I’m overstimulated at this point. But of course, this crazy fuck Vampiro lights a fucking table on fire. He takes an awfully long time to do it and Penta grabs him and uranages him through the table, which is mercifully enough to end this match (at least after the refs put Vampiro out with extinguishers). The crowd is exhausted after that finish. They finally manage a weak CERO MIEDO chant and an even weaker competing VAM-PI-RO chant. Speaking of Vampiro, he still has his pride, and he yells at Penta to BREAK IT, MOTHERFUCKER. Penta does have a sacrifice to give to his Dark Master, doesn’t he? Penta obliges Vamp's request, then uses the house mic to inform his Dark Master that he did what he set out to do and would now like his Master to reveal himself and maybe come to the ring look upon his bloody works.

 

• Then, to top it all off, in the greatest pro wrestling reveal that I’ve ever seen in my goddam life, Vampiro reveals himself as Penta’s Dark Master. I am not fucking overreacting in the moment when I type this: This match and aftermath is one of the four or five best pro wrestling related-things that I’ve ever seen. Penta bows to Vampiro; then, they embrace. These bloody fucks throw up the CERO MIEDO taunt together. This whole thing was a goddam masterpiece. Hang it in the National Gallery right next to the Turners.

 

• I would like to formally apologize to Vampiro for shitting on him all through my WCW Nitro Era Reviews thread and would instead like to redirect that all that shitting toward Kevin Sullivan, Kevin Nash, Eric Bischoff, Vince Russo, Ed Ferrara, and anyone else in a WCW creative position during your time there for not managing to do anything with you. My bad, Vamp. I was a complete fucking idiot, I was not familiar with your game, etc.

 

• I’m exhausted. Do we have to have three more matches? I’m not even going to get mad at this seven-person Gift of the Gods Match. Who gives a fuck if five people lay around while two wrestle? After that Penta/Vampiro match, they could just have the rest of the roster come out here and figuratively or maybe even literally take a collective shit in the ring, and I wouldn’t complain about the quality of the show. This match is what it is, and it’s perfectly placed as a cooldown/bathroom break match. Aerostar dives off a roof. It’s neat, I suppose. Can we talk more about this Vampiro/Penta deal? Vampiro being a fan of violence, hinting that he sure would like to see more broken bones, being a heelish tweener, all pointed directly toward him having a hidden agenda that maybe we couldn’t see. I just relaxed because he was on commentary. Poor Matt Striker. What must he think? He’s been so nice and supportive to the guy, and now he’s got to come to grips with the fact that Vamp’s been the man behind Penta’s extreme turn toward arm-snapping darkness.

 

• Wait, hold on, back to this match. Marty “the Moth” Martinez suddenly jumps into the ring as it’s cleared of everyone but Sexy Star and goes face to face with her. She slaps the shit out of him and then tilt-a-whirls her way into position to lock him in armbar until he can scramble to the ropes. He tries to fire up, but she dropkicks him to the floor, where he scrambles up to Melissa Santos and backs right up against her legs as she attempts to get this creeper the fuck out of her personal space.

 

• Cuerno is eventually able to hit Star with a Thrill of the Hunt, but chooses to face off with Fenix instead of covering her. That turns out to be a mistake, as it allows Bengala to reinsert himself into the proceedings. Some more stuff happens while I consider how different things will be at the start of Season Two. Is Dario going to burn this version of the Temple down and collect the insurance money? Will Vampiro choke out his buddy Striker at the commentary desk when Striker questions his motives too closely? How do Puma and Azteca end up joining forces? I have to know! Meanwhile, Ryck murders Star with a uranage, but Daivari runs out and attacks him with a chair. Daivari sucks. No need to insert him into he proceedings. Jack Evans tries to pick Ryck’s bones, but Cuerno stops him and then locks him in a surfboard that gets broken up by a Fenix springboard legdrop.

 

• This match has gone on long enough, but unlike the previous match, that’s because it’s time to move on to the more interesting stuff, specifically the main event. Fenix manages to hit Evans with a Fire Driver for three and becomes the holder of the Gift of the Gods belt. I am here for another round of Fenix/Mil if that is on deck, though then again, I’m sure Dario will try to get that Gift of the Gods belt from around Fenix’s waist as quickly as he can.

 

• The other match that I’m not super into on this card is Texano/Blue Demon Jr. (w/Cisco and Cortez), but I am open to LU adding a few twists to the finish that make it interesting. I love that the flunkies have been passed along from Ryck to Dario to Chavo and now to Demon. Who knows which wrestler they will end up ineffectively seconding by the end of next season? Demon hands Melissa Santos a card; Santos announces that Dario Cueto has honored the legend’s request to make this match no disqualification. It sort of feels like every match in LU is no DQ unless the bookers are telling a story that requires a DQ finish, and then suddenly the refs are stringent rulebook warriors.

 

• Matt Striker is still very logically in the dark about why Demon would have beef with Texano. You know what? Chavo is injured, so maybe he would have been a) a better choice for the desk on this show to fill that color commentator spot and b) to allude to how he helped turn Demon toward the dark side. And then, as soon as I type that, I am rebuffed by LU’s bookers, who had a better plan for Chavo Jr. on this show. Chavo hobbles out to the ring, pretends to make the save, garners enthusiastic CHA-VO chants from the crowd, and then cracks Texano with the chair he's holding. Chavo demands that Demon do the same in a callback to the chair shot from Chavo that started this whole spiraling mess back in the second episode. Demon considers it for a second before fully going to the dark side, hitting Texano with a weak chair shot, and pinning him with a boot on the chest for three. OK, this was the sort of narrative twist that worked from a dramatically ironic standpoint. The fans and Striker are both shocked even though, of course, we viewers at home are not. It worked. Further, the match was suitably short and did its job nicely as more of an angle than a full-on match. The bookers worked around Chavo being injured about as well as a pro wrestling fan could ask.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Prince Puma, alone, is prepared for battle.

 

• Mil Muertes (w/Catrina) wrestles the champion Prince Puma for the Lucha Underground Championship in our main event. Mil immediately tosses Puma into the stands and tosses him around, but Puma’s a gutsy fighting babyface and makes a comeback. They slam one another into the railing and the bleachers. Puma’s just out here trying to survive as the overwhelmed and outnumbered rookie. He does what he can, including grabbing Catrina and swinging her at Muertes as a human weapon. Muertes responds by clearing a section of the crowd and sending Puma crashing into the seats. It’s got to be one of the hardest things in wrestling to figure out how to get a little space for yourself to uniquely escalate a match after the crowd has already seen a ton of wild spots. I’ll say this: If you take the two Ultima Lucha shows and sew them together as a single show, it would actually manage to hold excitement throughout. And this is a show that escalated things from before the bell of the first match!

 

• A Puma fan near the house mic yells with some feeling in his voice: C’MON, PUMA. FIGHT, GODDAMMIT. Puma really is a sympathetic babyface. He’s easy to root for. Anyway, Puma struggles to FIGHT, GODDAMMIT and ends up powerbombed right onto the ring steps. He manages to get to his feet and dropkick a chair into Mil’s face, then attempts a suicide dive that fails when Mil swings for the fences and goes all Cal Raleigh on Puma’s dome with a chair.

 

• This show is exhausting, man, and I mean that in a good way. I should have left this second part for tomorrow so that I could come down from the first part. Then again, that Vampiro/Penta match was going to have me all fucked up no matter when I saw it. This is a pretty dang good match. Sure, there’s a lot of arena brawling and weapon shots, but Puma is so good at fighting from underneath, and Mil is a suitable nigh unstoppable monster. Puma has these bursts of offense that bring him close to victory, like landing a GTS for 2.8, but Mil continually cuts off all his running with weapon shots or power moves.

 

• Mil clubbers the shit out of puma in the corner and seems to be getting wiser about all of Puma’s shifty kick counters. He shuts one down, so Puma pulls another kick counter that ends in some sort of, uh, rolling heel kick that he’s never busted out before. Puma manages to hit rolling fisherman busters, but only earns two more.

 

• Both men sell fatigue, which they probably don’t have to try all that much to sell since they’ve been going hard all match. Then, in a fucked up spot that had to hurt Puma like a motherfucker, Mil hits Puma with a spear as Puma is on the apron. They’re supposed to go through a table, but they legitimately fuck up their aim and Puma just splatters across the corner of the table and onto the ground. Mil then gets up and breaks the table by powerbombing Puma through it. Nasty work there. Puma kicks out on Mil's cover though, and Mil has a little freakout because Puma won’t fucking lose already. Muertes hits a spinning uranage after hooking Puma by the lips (!!), but Puma hops over a spear attempt and lands a series of kicks that knock Mil into position for a 630 Senton Bomb. Puma goes up, has a verbal exchange with Catrina, and then lands the move…for only 2.9. Puma decides to do it again, but Mil rolls out of the way, lands a spear on Puma after Puma struggles to his feet, and hits Puma with a Flatliner…for only 2.9.

 

• What will put either of these dudes away? I don’t know, but it’s probably coming soon because the show is crawling toward its end. Puma goes right back up for a 630 Senton Bomb, but he’s relying too much on his money move; Mil cuts him off up top and climbs up there with him. Puma headbutts him to the mat, but as he tries to reposition himself, Mil gets up, runs up the buckles, and catches Puma with a Super Flatliner for the three and the Lucha Underground Championship. Boy, Catrina’s dark plan came to complete fruition this season. Mil’s got the big belt and the Disciples of Darkness have the trios tag belts. Speaking of, the Disciples walk out here to pose with Catrina, Mil, and all that gold as the credits roll.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial to reveal what’s up on our next season of Lucha Underground: What, you didn’t think this show was over at the credits, did you? Black Lotus hastily packs up Dario Cueto’s office while Dario peeks through the blinds. He’s waited for everyone to get out of the Temple before rushing out of there himself. He almost forgets that red ceramic bull on his desk that seems important to him for some reason, but he rushes back in and grabs it. He and Lotus get in a car that pulls a trailer behind them. Through a hole in the trailer, Matanza Cueto’s masked face peeks outside, seeing daylight for the first time in what we can presume has been a long time.

 

• Meanwhile, Fenix gets in his car while holding the Gift of the Gods belt and rolls out. He doesn’t notice a guy in a cowboy hat King Cuerno sitting in a truck, watching him. The guy in the truck cuts on his lights, starts his engine, and follows Fenix.

 

• Marty “the Moth” Martinez has fucking kidnapped Sexy Star and promises Star that she won’t think Marty’s a joke after she meets Marty’s sister. Then, he giggles maniacally. What the actual fuck?

 

• Son of Havoc and Angelico promise themselves that they will get the trios tag titles back. Havoc walks over to Ivelisse and drives away with her on a motorcycle; she’s in front, of course.

 

• Drago and Aerostar, who had a strong rivalry at the middle of the season, depart one another as friends. Drago shakes Aerostar's hand and then disappears in a burst of flame. Aerostar watches him go, then himself lifts off into the stars.

 

• Penta asks his master Vampiro where they will go next. Vampiro's response: “To a dark place.”

 

• The luchador who tried to bar El Dragon Azteca from entering the Temple puts on Azteca's mask and then tags a Lucha Underground billboard with a question mark like he’s Edward Nygma or somethin'.

 

• Dario, standing bathed in red light, grins sadistically, pleased that he has rid himself of that meddlesome El Dragon Azteca and taken the LU title off the babyfaces that he hates so much…at least for now.

 

• At the end of the review for Ultima Lucha, Part I, I typed the following: “Boy, that was a really good first night of Ultima Lucha to the point that I have a hard time seeing the second night live up to it, Vampiro/Penta aside. It was a near-perfect wrestling show.” Well, Vampiro/Penta alone was so good, and the culmination of Catrina’s dark plans to take over all the LU titles and the twists in the  Lotus/Azteca/Cueto Bros. saga were so satisfying, that the show in fact managed to do so. It wasn’t a perfect show, but it hit actual wrestling transcendence at a couple of points, which is more important than being perfect in my opinion. Add the hooks for next season to the proceedings, and it isn't even close. Combine both shows into one regular-length PPV/PLE, and it's one of the best PPV/PLEs ever and probably a top-five PPV/PLE of the New Tens. 5 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

Edited August 11 by SirSmUgly

[zendragon]

The Vampiro reveal is soo much better than "It was me all along damn it"!

I recognized a particularly hefty fellow in the strap match as an actual fan I've seen at indys

I think Marty "The Moth" (god that sounds like a pro wrestling name made up by a ten year old, which makes sense if you look at this as Marty being a bit of man child) is a great heel, but the kidnapping Sexy Star and harassing Melisa Santos hits a lot different post Vince Allegations and Speaking Out

[SirSmUgly]

18 hours ago, zendragon said:

The Vampiro reveal is soo much better than "It was me all along damn it"!

I should have seen this reveal coming, in retrospect. I relaxed because Vampiro was doing his "kinda off, but kinda cool weirdo tweener uncle" deal at the commentary desk and totally disarmed any suspicion I might have for him. When looking back at the season, though, he fits in as a likely suspect from the start. They even reminded us of all the things he said at the desk for emphasis  when he cracked the mirror with a headbutt in that one episode!

(I also love that in Twin Peaks, that scene depicted BOB trying to escape/overpower good guy Dale Cooper, but the context of the Vampiro scene is inverted: He's trying to keep Vampiro locked inside so that he can continue to outwardly present as Ian Hodgkinson until the time is right to reveal himself as Penta's Dark Master. The blocking of the scenes are visually inverted or flipped, too: Dale is facing to the left from the viewer's perspective when he headbutts the mirror, but Vampiro is facing to the right. The showrunners of LU had a lot of love for TV, movies, and high concepts, and I love that about them.)

Quote

I recognized a particularly hefty fellow in the strap match as an actual fan I've seen at indys

That guy also had the only good fan strap shot of the match. I was pleased for him. 

Quote

I think Marty "The Moth" (god that sounds like a pro wrestling name made up by a ten year old, which makes sense if you look at this as Marty being a bit of man child) is a great heel, but the kidnapping Sexy Star and harassing Melisa Santos hits a lot different post Vince Allegations and Speaking Out

I do think he's even more effective as a heel now than he was then because of time and events. He works up genuine heel heat while I'm watching him, and then I have to retreat to my analytical mind to talk about why he's so effective. When I'm in the moment, though, I legit hate this dude. 

Edited August 7 by SirSmUgly

[zendragon]

Re: Marty The Moth, if you enjoyed Penta/Vamp just wait till we get a bit down the road

[SirSmUgly]

Season One Recap

Trending Up

• Vampiro – I already apologized in the Ultima Lucha, Part II review for getting him all wrong. That’s what my dumb ass gets for using 1999/2000 WCW as a marker of how good somebody is. Whoops! He’s a fun neo-Macho Man on commentary and a compelling character in his own right.
• Pentagón Jr. – I used to think he was a cool look and a great taunt/catchphrase combo. I’m still not sold on him as a complete worker, but he’s certainly more than I thought, especially as a promo. He’s consistently excellent with his delivery.
• Prince Puma – He’s got his flaws, but he’s a fine fighting babyface with very good body language that evokes all the feelings you’d want a babyface to evoke.
• King Cuerno – He’s a fun worker whose mannerisms and moves fit his hunter gimmick. He should probably be in and around the title picture more often.
• Willie Mack – This guy is just fun. Again, he has a lot of the same flaws that a lot of guys who are in love with big spots and not so much in love with logical connective work to tie together the big spots, but maybe I’m just into chubby dudes with great athletic abilities that much.
• Catrina – She toes the line between “creepy” and “seductive” quite nicely and comes off as the apex mastermind, even beyond Dario Cueto himself.
• Marty “the Moth” Martinez – He doesn’t toe any lines. He’s just creepy when he can mask a bit and sociopathic when he can’t. He’s the sort of true scumbag heel with no redeeming qualities that I’m not sure pro wrestling has had for a long time otherwise.

Idling

• Brian Cage – He’s basically Willie Mack, but in shape and with enough good power spots that I have a hard time getting over his insistence on working like he’s in PWG most of the time (yeah, yeah, there’s probably a lot of overlap in the Temple crowd and the Reseda crowd, so he kinda is if you think about it). There’s more potential there than I remembered there being, though.
• Drago – I love the guy, but if he’s not fighting a more powerful wrestler from underneath, he’s not in the best position to have good matches. He seemed a bit inconsistent in his work toward the end of the season especially. Still, his series with Cuerno has me thinking that he’s ready to break out in season two if he can just get the right opponents.
• Fenix – Like Drago, he is actually fantastic working from underneath, is a plus-seller, is an excellent bumper, evokes sympathy with his body language…and spends most of his time as a flippy ace. Yuck.
• Matt Striker – He and Vampiro actually have good rapport. When he can reel himself in a bit, he’s perfectly fine. When he can’t reel himself in a bit, he’s one of the worst dudes to pick up a headset. I can solidly say that he blows away Scott Hudson on PBP, though, so he’s got that going for him. Can’t be the absolute worst if you’re at least better than the actual worst, Scott Hudson.

Trending Down

• Alberto El Patrón – He Alberto El Pasucks. Can’t wait for this bum to go back to Connecticut.
• Johnny Mundo – He’s got a chance to trend upward the longer this heel turn goes, though. He’s much more suited to heeling, especially as a singles wrestlers.
• Killshot – Sure, he’s young at this point, but still, **Jay Sherman voice** he stinks!
• Melissa Santos – I just don’t like her cadence at all. In her defense, as I stated in an earlier review, I like basically Finkel, Penzer, and Capetta when it comes to ring announcing. That’s it. So really, maybe I’m just super picky.

Five Matches You Should Watch (season, show, original air date )

• King Cuerno vs. Drago, Last Luchador Standing Match (Season One, Show 11, 21 January 2015)
• Mil Muertes vs. Fenix, Grave Consequences Match (Season One, Show 19, 18 March 2015)
• Prince Puma vs. Hernandez (Season One, Show 29, 27 May 2015)
• Willie Mack vs. Brian Cage, Falls Count Anywhere Match (Season One, Show 38, 29 July 2015)
• Vampiro vs. Pentagón Jr., Cero Miedo Match (Season One, Show 39, 5 August 2015)

Five Seedy Backstage Interstitials or Adventures in Interviewing with Vampiro You Should Watch (season, show, original air date )

• Dario’s flunkies fail; as punishment, Matanza eats Bael (Season One, Show 29, 27 May 2015)
• Chavo Jr. betrays Black Lotus to Dario Cueto (Season One, Show 30, 3 June 2015)
• Vampiro goes all reverse Dale Cooper and tries to hide the monster instead of letting the monster come out when he cracks a mirror with his head (Season One, Show 30, 3 June 2015)
• Vampiro interviews Penta, looks as though Penta is goading him, is actually secretly goading Penta into attacking him with gasoline later that night (Season One, Show 35, 8 July 2015)
• Black Lotus falls for Dario’s lies, kills her former mentor El Dragon Azteca in cold blood (Season One, Show 39, 5 August 2015)

Feuds Worth Re-living From Season One

• King Cuerno vs. Drago
• Mil Muertes vs. Fenix
• Vampiro vs. Pentagón Jr.

Edited August 7 by SirSmUgly

[zendragon]

reading these reviews I'm thinking about something Sam Adonis said on Brian Solomon's podcast; we are at a point where a lot of workers grew up on video games like SD!vsRAW so that it what is informing their psychology. Now I don't think that's inherently wrong as there is an audience for that however some of us who remember Flair v Steamboat or Bret v Austin have aged out of wrestling a bit in the same way people age out of music where you just don't "get" the new pop stars and don't recognize anyone on the VMAs anymore. (Personally in hindsight I think I started ageing out when WWE went with Cena as their ace two decades ago) 

[Matt D]

50 minutes ago, zendragon said:

reading these reviews I'm thinking about something Sam Adonis said on Brian Solomon's podcast; we are at a point where a lot of workers grew up on video games like SD!vsRAW so that it what is informing their psychology. Now I don't think that's inherently wrong as there is an audience for that however some of us who remember Flair v Steamboat or Bret v Austin have aged out of wrestling a bit in the same way people age out of music where you just don't "get" the new pop stars and don't recognize anyone on the VMAs anymore. (Personally in hindsight I think I started ageing out when WWE went with Cena as their ace two decades ago) 

A lot of young fans right now see wrestling as live action anime. Omega is the Hogan of that movement basically, bringing them in like he did for rock’n’wrestling. 

There’s also a huge brain drain on the indies with most vets signed.

[zendragon]

The anime thing is interesting. I hadn't thought of that.

[SirSmUgly]

Season 2, Show 1: “A Much Darker Place” or Like Taking a Trip From Hyrule to Lorule

• Who knows what’s going to happen on the second season of Lucha Underground, but I’m sure that with a roster which includes an amoral Aztec priestess and her death cult army, a skeevy pervert who kidnaps women when he’s not merely physically harassing them, and the lunatic cannibalistic brother of a shithead multi-millionaire who got into the pro wrestling business so that he could use his money to pay his workers to annihilate one another, everything’s gonna be comin’ up Milhouse!

 

• Seedy medical facility interstitial: Oh, and I forgot to mention an arm-breaking hyper-violent masked luchador and his equally hyper-violent mentor who is apparently suffering from something akin to unmedicated dissociative identity disorder when I was talking about LU’s roster. How could I leave those two out? Apparently, someone who cares got to Vampiro Ian Hodgkinson and found a judge to assign poor Ian to a mental health facility. My headcanon is that the judge was actually David Flair, who had gotten a taste back in 1999 for signing documents that send people away to secure mental health facilities.

 

• Ian has been assigned to the Psychotic Break Division of the Youssef Floro Mental Health Facility. We see a really artsy shot for pro wrestling of Ian (I think I should call him this in this context considering the nature of this storyline) reflected in multiple mirrors. The doctor questions Ian before deciding whether or not to release him from his six-month stay in this facility. Ian has flashbacks to the violence that he committed upon both himself and Penta as he lies about not having thought about violence much recently or at all. The doctor prescribes an anti-psychotic medication to Mr. Hodgkinson and tells him that he must avoid the people and places that trigger his violent impulses.

 

• Now, I should note that part of the footage is done from the perspective of a security camera that ominously has a “Days Since Last Incident” counter at the bottom of the video. You can guess what happens next: Vampiro loves the violent-ass Temple like Winston loves forgetting all about Julia and pledging fealty to Big Brother, so Vamp attacks the doctor and the attendants who rush in to stop him. He even bites a chunk out of the doc’s neck…and then we cut back to Ian, who has just fantasized this violent scene rather than actually perpetrated it. Ian dully comments that he can avoid the people and places that trigger his violent impulses and is released.

 

• Of course, he’s released into the care of Matt Striker (aw, what a good fucking buddy Striker is on this show), who works at the Temple, so Vamp’s already broken his promise to the doctor. Vampiro asks if he still has a job; Striker tells Vamp that they have received an invitation to return to the Temple, but he’s heard that he should do a title drop now. Whoops, sorry, he’s heard that “it’s a much darker place.” Vampiro looks at his bottle of anti-psychotics, but somehow, I’m not sure he’s going to take them.

 

• Note: Striker used passive voice and said that they “received an invitation to return,” with only a predicate and not a subject in that sentence. He did so for a reason.

 

• Catrina, who now has bangs that really suit her face, like this is a fantastic look for her, peeks through the blinds of Dario Cueto’s office. She senses that someone has entered the room behind her and remarks that she is surprised that they found the courage to return to the Temple. Cut to Fenix, holding the Gift of the Gods Championship and still having a lot of unfinished business to settle with Lucha Underground Champion Mil Muertes. Fenix did beat the guy twice last season, so he’s got as good a shot as anyone to take the gold from him, except for the part where it’s too early in Mil’s reign for a title switch. I am vaguely remembering, or maybe just predicting, that Mil’s title reign will get swallowed up by a bigger monster in Matanza. Not literally swallowed up, I should note, considering Matanza’s predilection for human consumption.

 

• I digress. The point is that Fenix has no need to hold onto this GotG belt for much long because he wants to get Mil in the ring for the title as soon as possible. Hold on, Catrina calls herself “the new ruler of this Temple” and, uh, books that match between Fenix and Mil for next week’s show, then implies that she’s going to be booking Fenix in a match to defend the GotG belt tonight because she’s a real dick, man. So, let me get this straight: Dario Cueto took off with Black Lotus and his brother and left behind a power vacuum that Catrina stepped into? Good God. There’s a Harry Turtledove alternate history novel titled Joe Steele in which Stalin immigrates to the U.S., Americanizes his name, gets elected president, and then wrecks up the place. OK, I can hear your objections through the screen, but trust me, there actually is something alternate history about the “paranoid dictator wrecking up America” thing. Please let me explain further. At the end of the novel, after Stalin/Steele gets yeeted from his position, there’s a power vacuum at the top, and who steps into it? J. Edgar Hoover. What I'm saying is that Catrina is J. Edgar Hoover. Well, except that she looks way better in that dress she’s wearing than he would.

 

• Anyway, Catrina lets Fenix know that King Cuerno has been hunting him since the end of Season One and puts them in a match for the GotG belt later tonight. Catrina also lets Fenix know that Mil Muertes will be watching him, and we cut to see this motherfucker Mil actually gazing down upon the ring while sitting in a throne. **Grover voice** You have got to be putting me on.

 

• Matt Striker and Vampiro welcome us to season two of Lucha Underground, but I have questions. First of all, how did the authorities separate Vampiro from Pentagón Jr.? Second, could Penta not have attacked the mental health hospital and busted Vamp out or something? Maybe he could borrow some of Catrina’s mystical powers for such a job? I don’t know. I do have an answer now, though, that the guy tracking Fenix in the cowboy hat from the final show of season one was King Cuerno. I don’t know how I didn’t realize that then. I’m going to update that review right now, in fact, with that info.

 

• Anyway, Striker hypes the show and kicks it over to Vampiro, who looks at him and simply responds, “I love you.” I did not have “Striker and Vampiro are caring commentary bros for one another” on my radar when I started this show, but frankly, I love everything about it.

 

• King Cuerno opens the show against Fenix in a Gift of the Gods Match. I have more questions: Where is Catrina getting the financing to keep the Temple running, for one thing? You know what? I’ll let it go. Fenix is very over as a babyface in front of this excited crowd. They have the sort of exchange one would expect from them, particularly considering that Fenix is working as an explosive babyface and not an overmatched fighting babyface. Cuerno escapes the ring and lures Fenix in, then pops him with a hanging DDT to the floor. He follows with an Arrow From Hell as Fenix staggers to his feet.

 

• Fenix gets to running again soon after, and we get a Fenix dropkick after a lot of rope running and then a contrived bouncy moonsault spot that doesn’t look great. Vampiro: “Forget that Cirque du Soleil stuff.” See, this man agrees with me, at least in kayfabe! The point of it all is that this match is what it is. They do a lot of decent counters and a few counters that don’t look that great. Cuerno escapes a Dragon Sleeper and locks his favored (and nasty)surfboard on Fenix, then boosts him head-first into the buckles. That was neat.

 

• Fenix gets 2.9 off a double stomp. He does some overelaborate rolling leaping nonsense and flips himself right up into Thrill of the Hunt position, but Cuerno only gets 2.9 when he hits it. BOOOOO. But then Cuerno manages to maneuver Fenix into a package piledriver that he drills for three and for possession of the Gift of the Gods belt. YEAHHHHHH! Mil Muertes looks wholly unimpressed from his throne.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: The members of Dysfunction Junction roll up on their bikes and re-enter the Temple. There’s a break, and then we see them run into Catrina back in the locker room. Ivelisse immediately demands a trios tag title shot, but Catrina denies them that opportunity and then says Mil told her to tell them that they have to fight one another. Yeah, somehow I don’t think Mil is running the show in this pairing-slash-couple-slash-dark perversity. Dysfunction Junction is irritated as they have spent the off-season trying to understand one another and becoming functional for once, but Catrina offers the winner of their Triple Threat Match a title shot against Mil. Ivelisse plans to win the gold (highly unlikely) and then destroy Catrina (equally highly unlikely).

 

• Catrina walks to ringside and beckons Melissa Santos over, then sexually harasses her before whispering an order in her ear. Melissa gets in the ring and announces the Triple Threat Match that we already know has been made on account of us TV watchers being privy to stuff that the folks in the Temple are not. Son of Havoc, Ivelisse, and Angelico face off in the ring, and I’m going to relax a bit with the negative critical commentary. Last season started out slow and didn’t get going until a few weeks in. I’m going to let LU cook and get its setup going for the rest of the season.

 

• The crowd audibly gasps when Son of Havoc and then Angelico are announced as competitors in this number one contendership bout. Striker guesses where Catrina is going with this match even before Santos can announce Ivelisse as the third competitor in the bout.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Catrina congratulates King Cuerno on winning the Gift of the Gods belt, then reminds him about their pre-arranged deal. Cuerno confirms it, pretty much: “Tell Mil he has nothing to worry about.” Catrina smiles, then teleports away. Cuerno is like, Yo, where did she go? That’s what I’m asking, dude!

 

• Anyway, we come back to a three-person match that, as you will probably guess by now, I don’t enjoy very much. It’s whatever. It isn’t my cup of tea, but it’s not particularly objectionable. Everyone dives. There are a couple of three-person spots where the set-up essentially exposes that pro wrestling is a worked endeavor. You know the drill. I’ll just tell you the finish or if anything that I personally deem cool happens. Havoc tries an SSP, but Ivelisse trips him and then ties Angelico up in a La Magistral for a quick three count. No offense to Ivelisse, who is tough and all, but Mil and Catrina probably love the hell out of this outcome. Wait, hold on, she’s got to wrestle Mil next, no rest. Yeah, uh, wow.

 

• Just under four hundred miles from Boyle Heights, three nerds drive up to a neighborhood, where Black Lotus meets them and asks them if they’re lost. The nerds are trying to find the underground fight club they heard about, and Lotus tells them to follow her.

 

• Meanwhile, back in Boyle Heights, Mil Muertes (w/Catrina) defends his Lucha Underground Championship against Ivelisse Velez (w/Son of Havoc and Angelico). Mil gets off his throne like he’s Shao Kahn or something. Catrina raises her mystical stone, and the Disciples of Death show up and abduct Havoc and Angelico; Catrina grabs Ivelisse and shoves her into Mil’s arms. Mil deposits Ivelisse on the ground with a bit of force. Ivelisse uses her speed to run rings around the champ – no, wait, sorry, she tries to outclubber him like a doofus. She actually does manage a guillotine choke on Mil, who is half-assing it out there (in kayfabe, of course, not in reality). Ivelisse attempts a cross-arm breaker, but gets goozled out of it. She manages to kinda sorta hold on and apply a cross-armbreaker over the ropes, but Mil knees her in the head. He then picks her up and puts her in the corner, where she manages to shift her weight and hit a tornado DDT for two.

 

• Catrina sees things getting a bit out of hand for her guy and confronts Ivelisse in the ring. Mil lines up a spear on the distracted Ivelisse, but she steps to the side, and Mil spears Catrina. The crowd loves this utter pro wrestling nonsense, and in truth, it’s pretty fun pro wrestling nonsense! Ivelisse schoolboys Mil as he freaks out over his misfire, but only gets another two count. Ivelisse tries to follow up by charging Mil, but he hits her with a powerslam and drops her with a Flatliner for three. Striker: “You could feel the air come out of the Temple.” He’s not overselling it, either. That crowd got absolutely gut punched by Ivelisse eating that Flatliner. They really believed she could win, which proves one thing: They should push Ivelisse as their top female babyface and relegate Sexy Star to being the fighting midcard babyface who comes nowhere near the big gold. I think Ivelisse is some super worker, but Star is so bad in the ring that Ivelisse smokes her, and Ivelisse is a woman who was like the thirty-fourth best lady worker in AEW while she was employed there (at least as far as I could tell).

 

• Catrina teases a Lick of Death on Ivelisse, but of course she denies this horny-ass crowd. Instead, she demands that Mil hit Catrina with another Flatliner, but before he can do so, Prince Puma slides into the ring, lands a superkick on Mil, and escapes the ring with Ivelisse in tow. Then, at the point where I couldn’t think this segment could get any more hype, Pentagón Jr. (!!!) slides into the ring while Mil glares at Puma and hits Mil with a backstabber and breaks his fucking arm (!!!!!) This is the best shit on LU since the last best shit on LU an episode ago. Vampiro watches from his spot at the desk and tries to keep the bad thoughts away and his violent impulses in check as he watches Penta snap the champ’s arm. He’d better start sucking down pills is all I have to say. This ruled all the way from the match to the aftermath.

 

• Seedy somewhere-else-in-California interstitial: The nerds from earlier pull up to a brick building that has a crudely-scrawled graffiti of the Lucha Underground mask logo with the word TEMPLE written underneath it. Uh-oh, I think Dario has lured these three nerds in so that Matanza can wolf down a light snack. Then again, the nerds deserve it. They’re dismissive of Dario, who meets them outside the building, and also of Black Lotus. The lead nerd sneers about this hastily-assembled temple, “I’m not buyin’ it. And what’s the chick doin’ here?” The chick proceeds to kick the shit out of this nerd without even looking at him. Dario makes these dudes pay a Tubman apiece to walk in there and get eviscerated by Matanza Cueto. Dario uses his key to let them into the building, then locks them in for Matanza’s snacky-snack time. I mean, these dudes sucked, but making them spend their money to Door Dash themselves to Matanza is cruel shit even for those dopes. Permadeath Count: 5 (Bael, El Dragon Azteca, The Three Nerdsketeers).

 

• What felt a bit like a mundane opener was elevated by the last twelve minutes of the show, and I’m curious about what will happen to Dario’s Shadow Temple/Cafeteria that he is running in exile. Interesting hooks for this season. Though wait a minute, is Sexy Star okay? Did anyone hear the sound of a window? Did the Moth strike her a crescendo? Someone do a wellness check on her! It’s been six months! 4 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

[SirSmUgly]

Season 2, Show 2: “The Dark and the Mysterious” or Where Ian is Madeline and Vampiro is Badeline and the Temple is basically Celeste Mountain

• Recap: Things have gotten worse in the Temple, though Catrina is quickly finding out that it’s easier to scheme on the Temple’s leader from the shadows than it is to actually be the Temple’s leader. Meanwhile, Black Lotus has gone so far down the dumb babyface road that she’s now functionally a heel who helps Dario Cueto feed human victims to his brother Matanza, and the mysterious luchador who now dons the dearly departed El Dragon Azteca’s mask is planning something in response to Azteca’s murder at the hands of Lotus. In other words, it’s just another night here in Lucha Underground!

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Prince Puma pumps iron while replaying his loss of the LU Championship to Mil Muertes back at Ultima Lucha Uno. His brooding and his reps are interrupted by Pentagón Jr., who uncharacteristically thanks Puma. And no, he doesn’t “thank” Puma with an arm breaking or chair shot. He legitimately thanks Puma for serving as a distraction last week, when of course Puma saved Ivelisse from Mil Muertes and thus served as a diversion so that Penta could hop in the ring and snap Mil’s arm like a twig. Catrina is obviously on the warpath now and has apparently placed Puma and Penta in a tag team tonight. Penta would like Puma’s continued help in snapping arms to please his Dark Master, who is sitting in commentary desperately trying not to be thrilled by all the arm snapping and probably failing miserably at not being thrilled by about halfway through this season, if I had my guess to make.

 

• Anyway, Penta plans to get Puma’s help at snapping their opponents’ arms tonight as they face off with the Disciples of Death, and then, oh yeah, there’s the “thanks” I figured Penta would offer Puma: After that, Penta promises to snap Puma’s arm too. Then, he cackles like a murderous lunatic. Puma, who is not a fan of this guy and his arm-breaking ways, engages in a fight with Penta right there in the gym. He hits a cartwheel kick like he’s Sarah Bryant, which is enough to back Penta off. So yeah, that’s going to be a functional tag team tonight, I’m sure.

 

• The champ is out here on his throne to view the show again, but he's in a sling this week. Meanwhile, Matt Striker pushes the boundaries of sharing and trust in his friendship with Vampiro by calling Penta “[Vampiro’s] boy” and then interrogating Vampiro on whether or not Vamp directed Penta’s attack on Mil Muertes last week. Vampiro scoffs and, upset, wonders how Striker can even ask him such a question. I mean, well, there is that whole “you revealed yourself as Penta’s Dark Master who directed all the other arm-breaking attacks a scant six months ago” deal, Vampiro. Striker lets it go, but Vampiro has more to say: “Just because someone takes a dark path doesn’t mean there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel.” Fair, though if I recall from when I watched a long time ago, the tunnel that Penta’s going down leads somewhere so dark that he actually appends the word “dark” to his name.

 

• Yo, is Vampiro’s doctor checking in with him? Has he not seen that Vampiro is on television and in close proximity to the evil dude that he was mentoring last year?

 

• Our opener pits Johnny Mundo against Killshot, which is the matchup of my nightmares. Hey, I don’t see Melina anywhere around, which is interesting. I also note that Striker doesn’t mention Mundo’s victory over Alberto El Patrón at all, which is less interesting to me because I know that Alberto went running back up north as soon as he could, and good riddance to him. I would look up Melina’s Wikipedia page to find out more about this point in her wrestling career, but I’m scared that I might spoil something accidentally.

 

• The match is what it is. Mundo is at least a passable heel. Tweener Vampiro is now a fan of Mundo, of course. Oh, if you wanted to know more about the action of this match, Mundo gets 2.9 on a C-4. So yeah. I will give this match credit for Killshot busting out a run of offense and desperately trying to steal a win, but only getting 2.9 on a 450 Splash. That got the crowd behind him and was well-worked. Then, there’s a heckin’ ref bump so that Mundo can mule kick Killshot in the balls without getting DQ’d, which leads directly to a Mundo End of the World that earns Mundo a three count. This match basically was like a crappy version of Bret Hart vs. the 1-2-3 Kid on ’94 RAW in that it was effective at helping a skinny midcard guy get over against a main eventer by coming close, but still losing despite the fact that neither Mundo nor Swerve could enter a coma deep enough to ever dream of being remotely as good at pro wrestling as either the Hitman or Waltman.

 

• After the match, Mundo grabs a house mic and addresses Mil directly, claiming that when he hits Mil with an End of the World, it’ll feel way worse than the notorious Mexico City earthquake in 1985 that kayfabe killed Mil’s family and shoot killed a whole bunch of people. I mean, that’s a good scumbag heel line. I’m disgusted on Mi’s behalf. See, Mundo has some value; it’s just value in very specific contexts. Mundo’s boasting is interrupted by Brian Cage, who gets a huge babyface pop. Cage says he’s back and one hundred percent healthy unlike “our champion” and promises to actually be a challenge to Mil unlike Mundo. He hits his catchphrase, which the crowd chants along with. Huh.

 

• Mundo claims that Cage isn’t in his league, but Cage says that he “whooped [Mundo’s] ass” the first time they met, which is mostly true in that he won the match with a little help from King Cuerno and Dario Cueto (Season One, Show Thirteen). But let’s not allow all the facts to get in the way of a proper challenge. Cage faces off with Mundo, who considers his options and his health and decides to exit the ring. Cage turns to Mil and points at him, which is when Mundo backjumps Cage. Cage gets the better of Mundo even after being blindsided, so Mundo scrambles away again. If you had told me that Mundo and Cage were going to have a mic battle, I wouldn’t have guessed that it would actually be a pretty solid one. I am glad that I’m at least somewhat open to being pleasantly surprised!

 

• Seedy unmarked basement interstitial: We pan over the contents of a room, including – most creepily of all – a slow pan over a spooled belt before we see the badly bruised, woozy Sexy Star still tied to a chair while Marty “the Moth” Martinez giggles. He brings her a “present,” which naturally is a dead butterfly. Marty inappropriately touches Star’s arm and lets her know that his sister says that Star is almost ready to re-enter the Temple, just as the caterpillar re-enters the world as a butterfly after time locked away in a cocoon. Boy, Star has been in quite the cocoon for the last half-year. The Moth does offer one caveat, however: Marty and his mysterious sister are going to be her escort. Boy, that was one of the most unsettling things I’ve seen in a long time. Curt McGirt mentioned offhandedly, if I recall correctly, that Marty was in a great match on the last show of this whole series, which really dashes my hopes that Marty is brutally killed off at some point. Dammit. It’s okay about the very minor spoiler. I just want this guy kayfabe dead even though he of course in real life is a major asset to this show and plays a fabulous villain, with his Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs ass.

 

• Hype video: We see a shot of the cosmos, and for a second, I think that Aerostar is about to come back from his trip to the stars, but instead we cut to a shot of a wolf and a shot of a guy who has an affinity with wolves. He rides at the head of a trio of motorbikes and pulls up to a motel, and oh, it’s only Justin Gabriel. Meh. He’s another one of these leap-y, flip kick-y guys, a South African carbon copy of Johnny Mundo. Gabriel has a well-choreographed fight against some dudes in the motel parking lot, including the guys he rode to the motel with. Anyway, Justin Gabriel’s name in LU is P.J. Black. A graphic lets us know that he debuts tonight, which is a promise to some fans and a threat to others. Guess which one it is to me!

 

• Alright, it’s Willie Mack! Unfortunately, he’s wrestling P.J. Black on Black’s debut, which is a real bummer unless LU swerves me and has Black lose in his Temple debut [Editor's note: Whew!]. Otherwise, why feed Mack to this guy? Why not, like, Bengala or someone? Better yet, why push a guy like Black over Bengala, for that matter? Striker knows who Black is (of course), but Vampiro does not. Vampiro also points out the stupidity of Black’s “Darewolf” nickname by merely questioning what it is and forcing Striker to respond with “I guess a cross between a daredevil and a werewolf?” Vamp also shits on Black's handstand kicks and calls out South Africans (so really Black and Angelico) for doing various kicks out of handstands. I’ve decided that it’s now kayfabe that all Boers are genetically driven to do handstand kicks, just like all wrestlers from the islands of Oceania are genetically un-headbutt-able.

 

• Anyway, this match is mediocre. The best parts are Willie Mack doing cool athletic chubby guy offense, particularly a standing moonsault that looks clean. OK, time for a recycling of an old section that I used for Kevin Nash in my WCW Nitro Era Reviews. Matt Striker Reads the Papers: This fella mentions P.W. Botha and F.W. de Klerk as two of the great South African Prime Ministers. No, sorry, I got that wrong; he mentioned them as two of the great South African dudes with stiff European uppercuts, right along with P.J. Black. Yeah, yeah, Striker, we all read Long Walk to Freedom, too. And might I add that Nelson Mandela was a boxer and probably learned to throw nice European uppercuts while being unjustly imprisoned. He deserved a mention here, dammit!

 

• Striker’s crazy ass next calls Black’s spinning sitout powerbomb Black to the Future, which is incredible. This is a white South African, with all the political history that such an identity entails, using a move called Black to the Future. I mean, this is the most audacious thing I’ve seen on this episode, and might I remind you that the Moth has kidnapped a woman, held her captive for six months, beaten her with a belt, probably sexually assaulted her…wait, no, sorry, that is definitely the most audacious thing I’ve seen on this episode by a distance. What a terrible misspeak on my part. OK, this Black to the Future thing is the second-most audacious thing I’ve seen on this episode. I will say this: You’ll note that I haven’t requested that Striker shut the fuck up during this match because his ramblings and random South African PM mentions have completely enhanced the proceedings for me, as have Vampiro’s sardonic comments on Black’s nickname and kicks.

 

• Thankfully, Black springboards himself right into a Mack Stunner that’s really more like an RKO for three. Good, I am so glad that LU didn’t put Black over Mack (heh!) on his debut. The best parts of that match were like two or three moves in isolation from Mack and, of course, the excellently ludicrous commentary from Striker and Vampiro.

 

• In-show ad: They’re now selling Lucha Underground merch, and in fact, I just bought myself an LU shirt a couple days ago, though of course not from LU’s now-defunct online store.

 

• Hype video: A masked lady walks into a dive bar, which is intercut with that same masked lady kicking the shit out of masked mooks in what is presumably the alleyway behind the dive bar. It’s Kobra Moon, who is kicking her way into our lives and into the Temple next week!

 

• The Lucha Underground Trios Tag Team Champions are up next: The Disciples of Death (w/Catrina) work a non-title handicap tag match against Pentagón Jr. and Prince Puma while Mil Kahn watches from his throne. Prince Puma and Penta both get babyface pops, which is amazing. At first sight of Penta, Striker makes the mistake of asking Vampiro to commentate on what type of guy Penta is. Vampiro starts rambling in a way that indicates his unwell mental state: “Well, making his way to this ring, man, I told you not to put me on the spot, you know what I mean? I had to go through a lot of therapy to get over that kinda stuff. But I have been in front of this guy, and I’m telling you right now, he might have taken a dark path in life, but he found a light. He’s a mysterious person, causes me nightmares, why did you ask me that, man?!

 

• OK, first of all, that was an amazing line delivery by Vampiro, who has at this point totally endeared me to him. I deeply care about his struggles with his mental illness at this point, and I can scarcely believe that LU has managed to get me there as a viewer. But second of all, this would never work without the tweak that I think Striker does actually care about Vampiro, but is somewhat careless about how he manages what he says to his still ill friend. You know what I mean? I’m not saying that Striker should be always walking on eggshells when he talks to Vampiro, but I also think he should be more mindful of the fact that Vamp’s association with Penta came from a place of being mentally unwell. I don’t think Striker fully realizes that, maybe? I guess their car ride together after Striker picked Vampiro up from the hospital didn’t give Vampiro a chance to really explain much of this. If only Striker could have seen Vampiro crack the mirror with his head last year like we did (Season One, Show Thirty), I feel sure that he would better understand, but I feel maybe that Vampiro has hidden some of what he’s going through from Striker, and Striker doesn’t quite get that he’s triggering harmful things in Vampiro by prodding him about his association with Penta. Honestly, if LU ended properly, it should have ended with Striker and Vampiro somehow getting their hands on a large sum of hidden Cueto money that was left behind in the Temple and using it to get away from all this fucked up Temple trauma. The last not-so-seedy recovery interstitial should show them moving to the Caymans to be bachelor bros together and to get some top-tier mental health care for Vamp. That’s what I want to see. We need more examples of dudes picking each other up and supporting one another on our screens like  we have in this LU commentary duo, dammit!

 

• As this match starts, I once again return to thoughts of that dolt Vince Russo, who should love a show like this one. It’s full of adult themes, lots of talking, and a focus on characters with a little wrestling sprinkled in there. I suppose based on his past comments, there are too many dudes "talking Mexican" on here for his feeble all-American mind to enjoy, but I do wonder if he ever watched this show and gave his own thoughts on it. He really should do it’s that he can use it as an example of how he was right and a shield for his failed WCW creative stints (BRO, see, WCW just didn’t give me enough time to establish this type of story-focused booking, BRO!)

 

• Poor old Vampiro is still unsettled: “Pentagon’s a dark guy, I know better than anybody, I hate when you ask me about it, I’m not supposed to talk about it, I’m under doctor’s orders, you keep putting me on the spot, I love you brother, but what do you want me to tell ya?” Striker thinks he’s pissed Vampiro off and tries to laugh off the awkwardness of Vamp's response, but that’s not it, Striker. You haven’t made him mad, you’ve made him dwell on a period of time and a relationship that was extremely harmful to him. At one point, Striker mentions Penta just in the natural flow of calling the action, and Vampiro basically responds with, I love you like a brother, Striker, but you’re just trying to rile me up. Striker is absolutely not trying to rile Vamp up, dear reader.

 

• Oh yeah, there’s a match! It’s perfectly acceptable. The Disciples use the numbers game to get control after a bit of shine from the babyface and the psychotic arm-breaker who the crowd treats as a babyface. The babyfaces make a comeback after Puma escapes FIP Jail and tags in Penta. Penta hands out Sling Blades and loud chops for all. Puma hits a missile dropkick and then faces off with Penta, which allow the Disciples to regroup and jump them. One of the Disciples hits Puma with a hanging DDT; the other two Disciples spill Penta to the floor, where Barrio Negro hits Penta with a dive. Siniestre tries to follow up, but Penta moves and the two Disciples crash into one another. Meanwhile, Puma hits Trece with a 630 Senton Bomb, but Penta grabs a blind tag before Puma launches and quickly steals the three-count from Puma after Puma lands.

 

• Post-match, Penta attacks Puma, hits him with a Backstabber, and looks directly at Vampiro before trying to break Puma’s arm. Vampiro: “Don’t look at me, brother, you’re on your own!” Puma manages to scramble away from Penta’s grasp, and Penta rolls out of the ring before Puma can hit him with a kick.

 

• Hype video/seedy-yet-somehow-inspirational undisclosed location interstitial: YEAHHHHH It’s Rey Misterio Jr., the fucking G.O.A.T.! From outside the camera shot, he speaks to the young luchador who now wears El Dragon Azteca’s mask and commiserates with him over Azteca’s death. Rey says that the previous Azteca once offered him to be next in the lineage of Aztec Dragons, but that it wasn’t his path. Rey tells the newest El Dragon Azteca that he has much to live up to now that he has taken on the mask; then, Rey notes that the mask that he chose to wear worked out pretty well for him, and we pan over to a shot of the masked G.O.A.T. himself. Even if it’s only for a season, having the guy who for my money is the best wrestler to ever exist should be pretty fun.

 

• We got fantastic drama all throughout this show, a surprisingly interesting Cage/Mundo mic battle, and the promise of Rey Misterio Jr. in the Temple. If there was a wrestling match better than “perfectly fine” on this show, it would have gotten the full five from me. 4.5 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

[SirSmUgly]

Season 2, Show 3: “The Hunt Is On” or Big Mythical Bird Hunter: Cuerno’s Challenge

• I am very excited to LUCHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this morning, and I hope that you are too.

 

• Recap: King Cuerno stalked Fenix until he could make his move and win the Gift of the Gods belt, which he is holding onto in agreement with Catrina so that Mil Muertes doesn’t have a surprise challenger for the LU Championship. Meanwhile, Pentagón Jr., Prince Puma, and Mil Muertes are having lots of drama with one another. Lots and lots of arm-breaking drama.

 

• Vampiro just leaps right in and doesn’t let Striker get a word in as he yells about the INSANITY AND CONTROVERSY, as he puts it, that Penta has caused by attacking anyone and everyone, including the reigning champ Mil Muertes. Striker cuts a look at his partner that marks a bit of surprise after Vampiro was so stringent about avoiding the topic of Pentagon last week. Uh-oh. Vampiro continues to do insanely awesome character work, by the way.

 

• Bengala opens the night’s proceedings as the opponent for the debuting Kobra Moon. She slinks her way to the ring while dressed like the progeny of a peacock who had sex with an iguana. Her entrance was the most oddly arousing thing I’ve seen since, well, since the last time that Catrina did something slightly off-putting while looking like she does. So, I will say that I became a pretty big Thunder Rosa fan after LU, during that brief time that she was in Billy Corgan’s NWA, but I don’t know what’s happened with her career or her in-ring work since. I’m excited to see her here under this Kobra Moon gimmick, though.

 

• I think Kobra’s obviously still figuring out how to work effectively here. Some of her stuff looks good, and some stuff she needs to lay in better (like her kicks). After she rolls Bengala to start the match, hitting a slingshot crossbody to the floor as part of the proceedings, Bengala gets in the ring and explodes with a couple of leaping shoulderblocks that look really good. Bengala tries a vertical suplex, but Kobra blocks it by wrapping her legs around Bengala’s plant leg, so he knees her in the gut to break that and hoists her up; she is able to go behind and rake at Bengala’s eyes. This is a good opener. Bengala flips her forward and kicks her, and since I don’t think I’ve placed him on this meter yet, it’s the second season debut of On a thigh-slap scale where “least obvious” is Prince Puma, “most obvious” is Fenix, and dead in the middle is Alberto El Patrón, these thigh slaps score a…Fenix. I’ll let it pass because I’m enjoying this match. Bengala covers off the kick and gets only two, so he goes up for a moonsault, but eats Kobra’s knees on impact. Kobra hops up and locks on a version of the Dragon Sleeper that Striker calls a Snake Sleeper. Bengala crawls for the ropes, reaches, almost grasps them, reaches again…and collapses as Kobra forces the air from his lungs, feebly tapping out before he passes out. Wow, great little debut match for Kobra there. I’m a fan (as I already was, really).

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Catrina sits with her back to the door and senses someone entering her office. She turns on the seductive charm (“I have to admit, I still get a tingle of excitement when I feel your presence”) for Fenix, who ain’t got any time for that sexytime shit. He wants to get the Gift of the Gods belt back from King Cuerno. Catrina suggests that his powers of rising from the ashes won’t last forever and that Cuerno might extinguish his flame forever, but Fenix promises to finish off both Cuerno and Catrina herself before that happens. Ooh, spicy!

 

• Seedy back-in-time interstitial: A thousand years ago, a little Aztec girl makes a line drawing of our galaxy in the dirt while musing about the return of “the man from the stars.” Cut to an Aztec warrior, who talks about the death that will come from the seven Aztec tribes being at war with one another. Someone off-screen agrees that this must be stopped by uniting the tribes. It’s Aerostar, of course, looking rad as shit in his light-up suit. Aerostar says that the tribes must be united to combat the danger that is prophesied to happen: The Aztec gods will show up in the form of man a thousand years from now, which is bad for some reason if I’m understanding the tenor of this conversation correctly.

 

• Aerostar shoots off into the galaxy to chill for a thousand years and wait for the gods to fulfill that prophecy so that he can come back and help unite the tribes to stop this human with the power of the Aztec gods. So yeah, that was amazing. We know that Mil has the power of a thousand deaths and apparently Fenix has the power of a thousand rebirths if Catrina is to be believed from the previous seedy backstage interstitial (and in this case, I don’t see why she would lie). It could be anyone, really, who is linked to the number one thousand in some mystical way who is the fulfillment of this prophecy. Oh, and the little girl deeply doubts that anyone will ever be able to unite the tribes. Let’s hope she’s wrong or things are probably gigafucked far beyond the reach of the Temple, aren’t they?

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: King Cuerno buffs his biceps when Catrina shows up all aggy and lectures him: “You took the title, but you did not destroy the man.” Cuerno says that he did what Catrina asked him and blocked Fenix from using the Gift of the Gods belt to challenge Mil, then points out that Mil is a “wounded animal” and should be pleased that Cuerno got him out of what would probably have been a LU Championship loss to Fenix considering what Penta did to Mil’s arm. Needless to say, these two disagree on exactly how effective Cuerno has been at neutralizing the threat from Fenix. Catrina demands that Cuerno kill off Fenix tonight in a Last Luchador Standing Match. She notes that Cuerno is undefeated in these matches, but I mean, he’s only 1-0 in those matches in LU (Season One, Show Eleven). This is like when the Mariners win the first game of the season, and I facetiously talk about how they’re on pace to go 162-0. Catrina sweetens the pot by not making that LLS match a GotG title match; all she wants is Fenix to be put down for good. Cuerno sniffs the air like some kind of freak and declares the hunt to be on.

 

• Our next match pits the person who fell to King Cuerno in that Last Luchador Standing bout last season, Drago, against the flippy little gnat Jack Evans. Evans does some heelish stuff like circling the ring to jump Drago and then slapping Drago disrespectfully, then flopping around like prime Shawn Michaels when he gets slapped back. He even bites Drago’s thumb to escape a submission hold. I’m not a fan of his MOVEZ, but his heeling is excellent. Striker talks about the momentum that Drago has in his first match back in the Temple since he won at Ultima Lucha Uno, but he doesn’t mention Hernandez’s name at all. You’d think that they’d want to explicitly claim that Drago ran Hernandez out of the Temple just to put Drago over a bit more, wouldn’t you? Anyway, those are the little things that I notice in this match or that I take some pleasure in watching as it unfolds.

 

• Drago dives from the top rope to hit a crossbody and splatters himself enough that Striker notes it on commentary. They make it back to the ring and trade flash pinfalls for two counts before Drago hits what Striker calls an “inside-out Blockbuster,” a flipping reverse DDT that looks pretty nasty, but that doesn’t really do much kayfabe damage considering that Evans immediately escapes Drago’s follow-up Dragon’s Tail and backslines Drago with his feet on the ropes for three. I feel like flipping reverse DDT looked nasty enough that it probably should be Drago’s finisher or at least more protected. Evans gets a mic, climbs up on the announcer’s table, and declares himself THE DRAGON SLAYER like he was Stunning Steve Austin back in 1994. This guy is very good at being very annoying. For all the heels that get babyface pops in this company, LU is still pretty good at building at least a couple of heels who are so deplorable that they can't garner cheers.

 

• Hype video: Texano lifts bulls on a ranch and beats opponents in the ring. Texano’s voice over lets us know that he hasn’t forgotten what Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Blue Demon Jr. did to him at Ultima Lucha Uno. Then, he beats up some masked lucha mooks in a bar, has the cute bartender give him his bullrope, and goes to work on using that bullrope to beat up the masked lucha mooks. He then tips the cute bartender, slams a drink, and demands to “keep ‘em coming.” OK, that made Texano look like a king right there. The double meaning of the “keep ‘em coming” line was pretty clever.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Prince Puma quietly contemplates his visage in the mirror, then has a quiet prayer, kissing his ostentatious Jesus piece like the good clean-living babyface Catholic boy that he is. Catrina enters the room and, paraphrasing, is like LOL YOUR ABRAHAMIC GOD DIDN’T SAVE KONNAN FROM DYING WHEN WE STUFFED HIS BITCH ASS IN THAT CASKET. So, I guess we can add Konnan to the Permadeath Count: 6 (Bael, Konnan, El Dragon Azteca, The Three Nerdsketeers). Anyway, that was quite the rude thing to say, Catrina.

 

• Catrina even claims that Konnan asked for forgiveness before he died, and she wonders if he was asking to be forgiven for all the bad things that he did in his wrestling career, like forming the Filthy Animals, or if he was asking to be forgiven for failing Puma so badly. Puma overemotes from behind his mask as Catrina wonders what Konnan would say if he could be here to see Puma beat up Pentagón Jr. next week, suggests that Puma might want to make a sacrifice of his own to his now-dead “master,” and then delivers a mocking “God rest [Konnan’s] soul” as Puma walks away in a rage. She is a fucking dick, man. She is the worst. Amazing performance on her part, of course.

 

• Fenix and King Cuerno meet in the main event for Last Luchador Standing, which Vampiro points out is the only stip announced for this match. His point sparks Matt Striker’s disgust. Productiom gets a shot of the desk as Vampiro makes this point to Striker, and Striker’s shrug of disgust with Catrina’s booking nonsense is excellent. I feel that when I watched the first season back in 2014 as it originally aired and tapped out after about eight or ten episodes, I got the very worst of the Striker/Vampiro team and cemented in my mind that they sucked when in fact, they got rolling as a team about eighteen or twenty episodes in and are secretly somehow one of my favorite commentary teams on any wrestling show straight up. Striker’s occasional quirks are much easier to deal with when the bulk of his work is legitimately good and when his chemistry with Vampiro is so on point.

 

• As the match starts, Fenix immediately goes to work and puts Cuerno down with a back elbow, but knows that it won’t be enough and picks him up for a sequence that ends in a top-rope rana that gets a five count. Fenix gets to running as Cuerno rises and runs himself into a series of kicks that put Feni down for four. As Fenix stands, Cuerno is the one to run at Drago this time and gets back body dropped to the floor.

 

• Now, here’s my issue: Catrina wants Cuerno to put Fenix out for good, but Cuerno is letting the ref make his ten-count early on. It feels like Cuerno should bebreaking the count and trying to inflict as much damage as possible, not standing around and waiting to see if Fenix will rise. For example, Fenix wipes out on a suicide dive that Cuerno avoids by stepping to the side, but Cuerno lets the count happen instead of going directly into smashing Fenix around ringside. I mean, Cuerno does smash Fenix around ringside, but in between standing ten-counts. I would argue that Cuerno shouldn’t let the ref count until at least six or seven minutes into the match.

 

• So yes, I can say that as much as I like Cuerno, I don’t think this layout serves the story that Catrina’s been telling about wanting Cuerno to physically destroy Fenix. The match needs to be more brutal, more violent than it is, and it needed to get there earlier. I think this match could have taken a cue from Cage/Mack at Ultima Lucha Uno.

 

• Fenix makes a comeback as Mil Muertes sits on his throne and watches. Fenix scores a series of dives and tries to get a ten-count as quickly as possible, which does make kayfabe strategic sense from his perspective. Cuerno turns it around, hits a nice Arrow From Hell that knocks Fenix back into a bunch of vacated seats in the stands, and goes off in search of a weapon as Fenix staggers to his feet at six. Cuerno locates a ladder, which he puts over his shoulder and uses as a battering ram on the staggered Fenix. I don’t think that spot warrants a HOLY SHIT chant, Temple spectators, but okay.

 

• Alright, here we go: The ref starts a count, but Cuerno finally cuts in and stops it to do more damage, this time with a table. Finally, Cuerno is doing the thing that makes logical sense in the flow of this match. This whole deal ends with a true HOLY SHIT spot in which Fenix shoves the ladder with Cuerno still climbing it, and it topples Cuerno all the way backward and smashing through the set-up table, which earns Fenix a ten-count that ends the match and is a nasty fucking spot. If Cuerno struggled up at nine after that so Fenix could do a dive to finish it, I would have been annoyed as shit. Anyway, that spot was so good that it almost justifies the whole match. Almost.

 

• Seedy police station interstitial: Remember back in the first season when Chavo Guerrero Jr. suggested to Dario Cueto that there was a mole in his Temple who helped Azteca find out that Black Lotus was tracking Matanza (Season One, Show Thirty)? Well, Chavo’s instincts about there being a mole are correct: Cortez Castro is a cop! He’s the fuzz! He’s five-oh! He gives his captain an update of the progress he’s made so far: Catrina has invited both he and Cisco back to the Temple, and he got close to both Chavo Jr. and Blue Demon Jr. six months ago before Blue Demon Jr. gave up the Temple entirely and headed back to Miami.

 

• Cortez – er, Officer Reyes – is admonished by his boss, Captain Vasquez, for talking about these secondary dudes when all she wants to know is where Dario Cueto has made off to. Officer Cortez Castro Reyes says that he doesn't know and then argues that they should have brought Dario in on murder charges earlier on account of Dario feeding Bael to Matanza. Well, technically, you helped feed Bael to Matanza, my dude. Then again, you’re LAPD, so basically you can do what you want and get away with it. Captain Vasquez doesn’t give a fuck about the life of nothing little street thug Bael; she wants Dario in custody now, dammit. Vasquez is bringing in a new partner for Reyes as he attempts to infiltrate the Temple, and it’s this both kayfabe and shoot fuckboi Joey Ryan. Vasquez gives two orders: Don’t let anyone know that they know one another and bring down Dario Cueto. Easier said than done, sis.

 

• LU continues to pile on the intrigue and layer in a bunch of criss-crossing goals for the Temple’s characters. I’m feeling like Charlie Kelly trying to figure out if Pepe Silvia exists at this point, but you know, in a good way. 4.25 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

Edited August 29 by SirSmUgly

[tbarrie]

2 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

• Aerostar says that the tribes must be united to combat the danger that is prophesied to happen: The Aztec gods will show up in the form of a human a thousand years from now, which is bad for some reason if I’m understanding the tenor of this conversation correctly.

Well, I'm no expert in Aztec religion, but I understand the Aztecs practiced human sacrifice on a massive scale to satisfy said gods' thirst for blood. Which is enough for me to conclude that yeah, having those gods show up on Earth (in any form) is probably bad news. Even for their worshippers. Heck, maybe especially for their worshippers.

Still loving the recaps, by the way.

[SirSmUgly]

Season 2, Show 4: “Cero Miedo” or War Gods

• Tonight, on the young and the remorseless…

 

• Recap: Ivelisse came close to dethroning a lackadaisical Mil Muertes, but no dice. If only Penta had broken Mil’s arm before she wrestled him for the title and not after. Anyway, Puma helped Ivelisse escape a further beating from Mil, and now he and Penta are at one another’s throats and will wrestle tonight.

 

• Vampiro just leaps right in and doesn’t let Striker get a word in as he yells about the INSANITY AND CONTROVERSY, as he puts it, that Penta has caused by attacking anyone and everyone, including the reigning champ Mil Muertes. Striker cuts a look at his partner that marks a bit of surprise after Vampiro was so stringent about avoiding the topic of Penta last week. Uh-oh. Vampiro continues to do insanely awesome character work, by the way.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Ivelisse busts up into Catrina’s office that used to be Dario Cueto’s office. You can tell it’s Catrina’s now because of the fact that it has like a hundred lit candles in it. Catrina has a dagger in her hand; that seems dangerous! Ivelisse wants a trios tag title shot, and Catrina takes a shot of her own at the dub: “No. There are no automatic rematch clauses in my Temple. You wanna fight the trios champion? You have to prove your worth.” Does that company still run endless rematches for their titles?

 

• In any case, Catrina says there’s a different number one contender to the Disciples of Death’s belts, so Ivelisse storms out after declaring that she’ll get the trios tag titles back eventually, not to mention getting her hands around Catrina’s throat eventually. As Ivelisse closes the door behind her, we can see that Catrina has now replaced Dario Cueto’s name on the door with her name, written in some very lovely calligraphy to boot. Also, Catrina licks the dagger and then stabs it into the fine mahogany desk. Boy, Dario’s not going to be happy about that if and when he comes back here to reclaim his office. That table stab did as much damage as Hernandez putting a thousand frosty-cold beer cans directly on it without ever using a coaster!

 

• Let’s kick it over to Matt Striker and Vampiro! Uh-oh, Vampiro once again jumps in and takes over Matt Striker’s typical job of hyping the show. Striker can barely get a word in edgewise. You can likely guess why. Vampiro: “This is not church, but it is the Temple, Lucha Underground! I am Vampiro with Matt Striker. Tonight, we will witness one of the biggest main events in the history of Lucha Underground! Matt, ask me why!” Striker: “Well—” Vampiro: "I’ll tell you why! Pentagón Jr. continues to ascend to the greatest heights in the sky as he will beat, tonight, LISTEN TO ME, the former champion of Lucha Underground, Prince Puma!”

 

• Someone tell Vampiro’s doctor that the pills aren’t working and that he has to go get a job for another wrestling company, stat! Striker, your buddy isn’t okay! You have to help him out! Contact the mental health facility that Vamp spent the summer in!

 

• Dysfunction Junction isn’t getting a trios tag shot, but Catrina has decided to put them in a match tonight anyway. They open the show against Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Chavo’s flunkies Cisco and Cortez Castro. Officer Reyes going back undercover and tagging with Chavo and Cisco against Dysfunction Junction probably isn’t doing much to help him find Dario Cueto’s whereabouts tonight. Captain Vasquez is going to be extremely disappointed in you when she sees this on television, Castro!

 

• Vampiro is going through it on commentary right now: “You know what I like about Chavo is he doesn’t hide it. Excuse me for saying this because I do not want to ruffle any feathers but he’s almost afraid to stand on his own, and he’s always gotta go for the mercenary to watch his back. He’s a Guerrero, he’s dirty, yeah yeah, I get it. Do it yourself, homeboy! Am I wrong?” Striker, taken aback, declines to answer that last question. Of course, replace Chavo’s name in that rant with Vampiro’s and imagine “the mercenary” as an arm-breaking psycho who does what a certain beaten-up, broken down wrestler wants to do but physically can’t do anymore, and it’s pretty apparent that someone at the commentary desk is mired in deep inner turmoil! Vampiro is barely “hiding it" on commentary at this point. His sanity slippage came on strong as soon as Penta showed up to break Mil’s arm as tribute to Vampiro. I’m surprised that Mil has just stayed planted on his throne and hasn’t throttled Vampiro yet as a measure of revenge.

 

• Oh yeah, you might want to know more about this trios match instead of having me talk about all the plot and character narratives that this show is extremely successfully juggling! The match is fine. Ivelisse gets an extra loud pop when she tags in; I don’t really get it, but this crowd absolutely adores her. Ivelisse knees this undercover cop in his face a few times, but he stops that barrage with a forearm to the jaw and escapes the ring with a tag to Chavo Jr. Chavo has a nice move where he snapmares Ivelisse, then grounds a knee into her clavicle and hooks her leg; it only gets two, but I like the nastiness inherent in such a pinfall attempt.

 

• Soon after, Ivelisse uses a leg sweep to escape Chavo’s clutches and make a hot tag to Son of Havoc, who destroys Cisco until Cortez can distract the ref so that Chavo has an opportunity to illegally (and violently) yank Havoc off the top rope. Cisco quickly gets two on a floatover vertical suplex, but Havoc fights his way out of trouble as all three heels swarm him; he leaps and rolls and leaps again and rolls again until he can make a hot tag to Angelico, who comes in a house aflame. Yuck, Angelico: On a thigh-slap scale where “least obvious” is Prince Puma, “most obvious” is Fenix, and dead in the middle is Alberto El Patrón, these thigh slaps score a…Fenix. You do know that the illusion is broken when we see you slap the shit out of your thigh, right, Angelico? Right?! Anyway, Dysfunction Junction is probably in line for a name change because they roll from there, leading to an Angelico top-rope double-stomp that pummels Castro’s solar plexus and keeps him down for a three count.

 

• After the match, an irate Chavo dresses down his flunkies for being bad at the fine art of pro wrestling. The crowd chants FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT, which yeah, that would be cool, but before they can, Texano hops in the ring with his bullwhip and takes the flunkies out while Chavo escapes.

 

• Hype video: Johnny Mundo does some shirtless parkour while talking about how he’s the biggest star in Lucha Underground, but he hasn’t earned the start treatment that he deserves. His gimmick is apparently “annoying modern worker who spends too much time scouring the Observer for Meltzer’s ratings of his so-called twenty-minute PPV 'classics' and who thinks that doing elaborate gymnastics routines make him worthy of a main event spot” as he rants about being subjected to the opening match of Ultima Lucha Uno’s second night rather than getting the main event spot. He makes sure to mention all the self-perceived five-snowflake matches that he puts on. I mean, I have to give him credit here. As a viewer who pretty much loathes modern wrestling, I would like to see Mundo get punched in the face repeatedly. It’s a good gimmick, and he wears it well.

 

• I also want to credit this package for showing Mundo pinning Alberto El Patrón followed by a shot of Mundo claiming that Alberto “will never step foot in this Temple again!” Exactly, let the viewer see that the wrestlers who won and who are still here completely ran the guys they beat and back to WWE or TNA or wherever. Do this for Drago beating Hernandez, please. Mundo thinks he’s such a star that he should be the LU Champion right now and that the title is his birthright, practically. If only Brian Cage wasn’t challenging him for that opportunity! Of course, Mundo expresses extreme confidence that he will dispose of Cage.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Joey Ryan immediately attempts to blow Cortez Castro’s cover by walking up to him in the locker and calling him “Reyes” while opining on the ass whooping that Castro just took. I have serious doubts about Captain Vasquez’s ability to do her job right. Why the fuck would she try and put an obvious plant like Officer Ryan on this job? Is she a moron? That might be a rhetorical question. Ryan loudly jaws about how he’s a better cop than Reyes because he can actually fight well enough to pass as a wrestler, and he does so in this wide open fucking locker room that anyone can walk into at any time. Sweet fuck. This idiot is the biggest heel on the roster, and that’s only considering his kayfabe work. Ryan tells Castro to watch while he beats his first opponent, which obviously is the type of hubris that gets you destroyed in a pro wrestling story.

 

• Anyway, Joey Ryan does his dirty old man, um, gimmick? He slithers his way out here to face Brian Cage. Cage generally does a Dollar Tree Goldberg impression in this match, and it’s reasonably enjoyable. He even does one of Goldberg’s favorite bump spots: he misses a spear in the corner and posts his own shoulder. Ryan gets some control after that, but he’s an overconfident shit-talker rather than a properly-confident shit-doer, so of course Cage makes a comeback. He actually misses a springboard moonsault in the midst of that comeback and is covered for two, then misses a discus lariat and eats a series of kicks. Ryan tries another kick, but gets caught and powerbombed into a backbreaker. Cage declares HE AIN’T GETTIN’ UP FROM THIS and then murders Ryan with a Steiner Screwdriver, which is fucking GREAT. Ryan had better not get up from that, and he doesn’t. I have decided that I now like Cage if he’s going to be dropping dudes with Steiner Screwdrivers. Johnny Mundo backjumps Cage immediately after the bell, but he takes too long to try an End of the World and gets tripped by Cage, then hit with a Weapon X to boot. Cage declares himself to be a finely-tuned machine rather than a brittle and easily-injured man like Mundo. Fair!

 

• Not-that-seedy gym interstitial: The G.O.A.T. Rey Misterio Jr. pretty much trains the new El Dragon Azteca just as the old El Dragon Azteca trained Black Lotus; specifically, Misterio wins their sparring sessions and prepares nu-Azteca’s mind by questioning him about his motives as they train, particularly nu-Azteca fighting based on a desire for revenge that Rey finds distasteful. Rey also gives us some important backstory by telling nu-Azteca things that he doesn't quite know, but that we also conveniently need to learn at the same time.

 

• The story, according to Rey, is that 25 years ago, Dario Cueto’s dad came to Mexico and met the previous El Dragon Azteca; they agreed to work together to locate the descendants of the seven Aztec tribes so that they could do battle in the modern Aztec battle arena of lucha. As tbarrie rightly pointed out in the post before this one, there is an element of, er, bloodletting as human sacrifice in the Aztec religion, which is the part that Papa Cueto was really into. And then, we get a nice payoff: Rey tells nu-Azteca that Papa Cueto was so obsessed with the legends of the Aztec gods and their desire for human blood that rumor has it that he even sacrificed one of his sons’ bodies as a vessel for an Aztec god to inhabit. Well, that explains Matanza!

 

• Based on what we also saw last week about Aerostar waiting in the cosmos for a thousand years before coming back to Earth in a bid to stop the gods from inhabiting human form, Aerostar’s arrival at the Temple last season makes perfect sense in retrospect. Come to think of it, so does Dario putting Aerostar and Drago into a best-of-five tournament with the hope that he could force Aerostar into being banished from the Temple and away from any chance to deal with the threat of god-on-earth Matanza. The only question I have here, considering that Aerostar and Drago are clearly close friends, is how much Drago knows about this legend or Aerostar’s mission and whether or not Drago is also pursuing the mission of stopping Matanza Cueto.

 

• I digress. The point here is that the previous Azteca did not like Papa Cueto’s obsession with the dark Aztec arts and broke off their partnership; they agreed that neither would enter the other’s domain, though Rey surmises that Papa Cueto used certain magicks that someone like Catrina might use to make that agreement permanent upon pain of death. I suppose that Lotus killing the previous Azteca was prophesied, so I guess in that case I forgive her recent turn toward heelishness. She had no control over it and was a tool meant to fulfill an agreement sealed with dark magic. Poor Lotus. She’s been through a lot, hasn’t she? Anyway, nu-Azteca now understands why he shouldn’t go seeking revenge for previous Azteca’s death – as Rey notes, the previous Azteca knew full well that he'd be sacrificing his life when he entered the Temple and did it anyway. Azteca wants to know what his new goal is in infiltrating the Temple should be if not to exact revenge, and Rey tells him that he must find a way to do the “impossible” and unite the seven Aztec tribes. Aerostar would probably be glad to help you do that, buddy. Maybe consult with him on that goal.

 

• OK, this is immediately one of my favorite pro wrestling stories ever. It’s so good. Matanza Cueto has gone from a big bad to the big bad, and even if and when he is defeated, there is still a chance that the other Aztec gods might look to inhabit various willing luchadores of ill will. I also seem to remember that Dario Cueto does not survive the Temple through season four and that papa Antonio Cueto will make himself known – oddly looking just like Luis Fernandez-Gil, of course – late in the life of this show. How we get to that point, I can only imagine, and I love considering the possibilities. We’ve got the LAPD way in over their head because they don’t understand the power of the person they are looking for, we’ve got an Aztec god on earth in the body of a man, we’ve got Aerostar and Rey and nu-Azteca, among others, all desiring to stop that Aztec god before they can destroy everything, and then we’ve got people with their own intentions besides. Penta’s snapping arms because he wants to go darker than even Vampiro ever went; Catrina and Mil want to dominate the Temple, which seems particularly petty in view of the cosmic god-versus-man story that is happening around them. And there are a ton of wrestlers like Mundo, Cage, and Ivelisse who just want to be champ. There are levels to this shit, and I love all of the levels. Lucha Underground has reached true peak soap opera at this point. Whoever first thought that lucha Dark Shadows was a good idea should get some sort of an award.

 

• Striker announces that Brian Cage will wrestle Johnny Mundo on next week’s show. Meanwhile, Vampiro and Mil Muertes sit up in their seats, both men’s interest piqued by the upcoming main event between Prince Puma and Pentagón Jr. Puma stares down Muertes; like Ivelisse, he is laser-focused on getting a chance to win back some title gold that he once held. The crowd absolutely loves Penta, and Vampiro points out their CERO MIEDO chants as evidence that Penta is better than Puma. I’m not sure that Vampiro is going to be able to restrain himself by the end of this match.

 

• This is the perfect example of a matchup that, without all the context of their characters and the ongoing storylines, I would normally not be interested in at all. In truth, I’d probably get more pleasure out of this match if we just jumped seven or eight minutes ahead to the finishing run. It’s not a bad match; it’s just not my style. Penta is still a collection of spots, a great promo, an awesome look, and fantastic body language. It’s enough for him because he’s simply that charismatic, but it’s not going to land most of his matches on a list of my favorites. He seems like the perfect WWE guy in that their house style is all about emoting, landing key spots that are crowd-pleasers that induce chant-alongs or other audience involvement, and delivering in big matches with memorable spots that will play in video packages decades into the future. Penta was built in a lab for WWE style. Puma, on the other hand, is a perfect AEW guy with their house style built on video game wrestling and wrestling move aesthetics.

 

• As the match and the show near their ends, Penta tries a package piledriver, but Puma flips out of the back, lands a kick, and hits a rolling Northern Lights into a floatover vertical suplex for a close two count. Puma goes up to try and end it with a 450, but Penta gets knees up and quickly small packages Puma with a close two count of his own. Penta is up first, sizes up Puma, and lands a superkick followed by a successful package piledriver. Penta eschews a pinfall to instead go for a surfboard. He shifts Puma backward onto the mat, and, ugh, in a finish that is WCW-like in its execution, Puma gets his shoulders up at two while Penta’s are on the mat and wins it. Bleh. There has to be a better fucky-fuck finish than the ol’ WCW “pinned guy gets a shoulder up” finish. Penta attacks the ref after the match, but Puma kicks Penta and then locks him up for an arm snapping. Will Puma go to the dark side? Mil and Vamp both get out of their seats, leaning forward in anticipation…but Puma’s still a fundamentally good dude and lets Penta out of his predicament. That was probably a mistake, but I appreciate that Puma has moral values that he simply can’t ignore.

 

• Seedy backstage interstitial: Sexy Star has momentarily escaped the clutches of Marty “the Moth” Martinez and re-found the Temple. She staggers through the halls before bumping into someone and screaming, but we see that it’s only a concerned Willie Mack trying to help her out. Mack wants to know who abused her, and Star can only choke out the word “Moth.” Mack: “Moth?! I’ll kill him!” because he’s also a good dude. Star stops him, though, and explains that it isn’t Marty that did this to her, but Marty’s sister. She points behind Mack, who turns around and sees…well, whatever he saw, we didn’t see it because the Lucha Underground logo pops up. Suffice it to say that he set eyes on Marty’s sis Mariposa, the nastiest butterfly you’ll ever meet.

 

• The strength of this show was that it retroactively made a bunch of past episodes better by recontextualizing the characters and their actions. Really, the past two episodes, with their reveals of Aerostar as cosmic protector, Castro as undercover cop, and Matanza as god walking the earth have collectively done a lot to reframe a lot of the actions and motivations of various characters. I actually went back and raised the score of the previous episode, and I would consider this episode almost perfect…except for the finish of the main event. 4.75 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

[tbarrie]

4 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

• The story, according to Rey, is that 25 years ago, Dario Cueto’s dad came to Mexico and met the previous El Dragon Azteca; they agreed to work together to locate the descendants of the seven Aztec tribes so that they could do battle in the modern Aztec battle arena of lucha. As tbarrie rightly pointed out in the post before this one, there is an element of, er, bloodletting as human sacrifice in the Aztec religion, which is the part that Papa Cueto was really into. And then, we get a nice payoff: Rey tells nu-Azteca that Papa Cueto was so obsessed with the legends of the Aztec gods and their desire for human blood that rumor has it that he even sacrificed one of his sons’ bodies as a vessel for an Aztec god to inhabit. Well, that explains Matanza!

Hey, I got my name in boldface! I'm a Lucha Underground character now!

[Curt McGirt]

On 8/6/2025 at 4:41 PM, SirSmUgly said:

Then, to top it all off, in the greatest pro wrestling reveal that I’ve ever seen in my goddam life, Vampiro reveals himself as Penta’s Dark Master. I am not fucking overreacting in the moment when I type this: This match and aftermath is one of the four or five best pro wrestling related-things that I’ve ever seen in my life. Penta bows to Vampiro; then, they embrace. These bloody fucks throw up the CERO MIEDO taunt together. This whole thing was a goddam masterpiece. Hang it in the National Gallery right next to the Turners.

This is what I was talking about earlier. It's jaw-dropping. Vampiro looks like a mummy slowly crumbling while attacking his opponent. I, of all people, was SHOCKED at the blood. It makes my disappointment in Penta all these years later hurt. 

Meanwhile, Dario and Salina are in MLW now  I turned it on while barely awake the other night and Dario was on there literally yelling his fucking head off at top volume, I guess to amp up the crowd? Or he got ahold of the blue meth? You might want to check it out despite, y'know, Matt Riddle. 

[zendragon]

I recall Striker taking a while to find his footing as PBP and he ends up vacillating between not-great and not-terrible, the Vamp-striker bromance really helps. At one point he makes some reference to Kobra's Moon that clearly got edited out.

Also Thunder Rosa had a brief run in WOW between this and NWA/AEW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTDpMt6ZMNE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muObpBj_CgI

[SirSmUgly]

17 hours ago, tbarrie said:

Hey, I got my name in boldface! I'm a Lucha Underground character now!

Uh-oh. In that case, I boldfaced twiztor and zendragon in the WCW thread, and they're going to be pissed to know that they're part of the 2000 WCW roster. I don't need them showing up at my house and demanding edits. 

16 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

This is what I was talking about earlier. It's jaw-dropping. Vampiro looks like a mummy slowly crumbling while attacking his opponent. I, of all people, was SHOCKED at the blood. It makes my disappointment in Penta all these years later hurt. 

He came dressed in the unholy bishop outfit and it just got crazier from there. They got me fully into a deathmatch, which is incredible. The violence was commensurate with the build, so it wasn't shocking just for the sake of shock or gory just for the sake of gore. Perfect match, pretty much. 

What did Penta to do make you so disappointed? Is it bad human stuff or just bad worker stuff?

Quote

Meanwhile, Dario and Salina are in MLW now  I turned it on while barely awake the other night and Dario was on there literally yelling his fucking head off at top volume, I guess to amp up the crowd? Or he got ahold of the blue meth? You might want to check it out despite, y'know, Matt Riddle. 

I did a random MLW search last night and ended up watching a Willie Mack/Johnny Mundo match with what sounded like Matt Striker and maybe Disco Inferno on commentary, so the spirit of LU kinda lives on, I suppose.

8 hours ago, zendragon said:

I recall Striker taking a while to find his footing as PBP and he ends up vacillating between not-great and not-terrible, the Vamp-striker bromance really helps. At one point he makes some reference to Kobra's Moon that clearly got edited out.

Striker isn't ever great, but yes, he's perfectly solid and is actually good whenever he's bro-ing it up with Vampiro. My expectations for him were so in the gutter before I started the watch that I'm probably also enjoying the bulk of his work more than I would have if I had higher expectations. 

If only he could just stick to making awkward comic book and video game references rather than awkward sex jokes...

[Curt McGirt]

I could stand Striker on LU but man, that NJPW work fully turned me on him. MLW is equally bad. SUPER annoying. Apparently he is a douchebag in real life who got fired by New Japan, so there.

Forgot that Vamp kind of just stole the gimmick of Ghost's lead singer (unholy bishop), only looking way way cooler... more like a member of Mortuary Drape. Far as Penta, just ask Natural haha. Constant taunt spamming, little actual wrestling minus his big moves, just irritating. The love was gone and the heat was on after he started in serious in AEW. It became clear he was just a gimmick, and LU was great at hiding that, couching it in violence (which granted he still used in AEW but it was way muted in effect by then).