HORROR IN 2025

[The Natural]

35 minutes ago, Curt McGirt said:

Everyone who doesn't have their head explode with vermin from an ancient Irish curse will just simply have seizures!

Re: Weapons, I went on Wiki and they had the entire story in freakin' chronological order with the biggest spoiler right on top so DO NOT check it first.

Thanks for the heads up. I missed out seeing Weapons in the cinema.

[Eivion]

3 hours ago, The Natural said:

Thanks for the heads up. I missed out seeing Weapons in the cinema.

Itss on HBO Max if you have that.

[The Natural]

1 hour ago, Eivion said:

Itss on HBO Max if you have that.

Don't think I do. Will have to look. Cheers.

[Curt McGirt]

Yeah we don't have Max but it's just on regular HBO. Well we get all the extra HBOs but apparently it still isn't MAX? Maybe our Dish package is different. Like I can stream stuff but there is new stuff we just don't get when it's announced for Max. I'm confused now...

[Technico Support]

21 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Okay, I'm gonna do it... I'm gonna rate the Friday the 13th pictures. Yep. And it is gonna be super biased and nobody is gonna agree with it.

  Hide contents

Friday the 13th: Classic, of course. Shot too dim but the kills are pretty cracker-jack. Great ending. Great Carrie ripoff denouement. Savini was rockin'. 10/10 in actual talent. 

Friday the 13th Part 2: Probably the best-acted and most intelligent of the series. Mountain Man Jason with the bag on his head is killer. 10/10 for the above. 

Friday the 13th Part 3D: My faaaaaave! Yes it is the best one. This is because it's so goofy: the individual characters, the gimmicks for the 3D (a board with a rat on it? A kid holding a baseball bat out behind him? A frickin' YO-YO. But it does have the super-duper spear gun scene). The random-ass racially-mixed biker group that are clearly the only three in Crystal Lake so they had to gang together. The really stupid ripoff of the first movie's shocker, only Mutant Jason showing up in the window doing that creepy frenzied scrape against the glass frame, then EXPLODING THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR. 100/10!

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter: I think it's solid as a prototypical Friday that's done about as best as they could get it to be, Crispin Glover dances like a spazz, and the end is cool. But... it's kinda too standard, and boring. Great finish though. 8/10.

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning: You might not be surprised to find out that this one is my OTHER favorite. That's because the sleaze factor is higher than any of the movies ever. The punk crazy killing the fat kid, which is hilarious and super gruesome. The balding mustache schlub with the coke and his girlfriend spraying her crotch down in the bathroom for later! The greasers? Why greasers? The other best dance scene in any Friday movie with the New Wave chick doing the Robot. The best looking girl of the early movies (most of them were preeetty unpretty) getting nekkid and him and her boyfriend getting two of the most brutal deaths of the entire series. And the end is rad: chainsaws and farm impliments and a backhoe! This one also gets a 100/10. 

Oh god and I almost forgot about Crazy Ethel and Junior. "Get away from me sheriff! I got a bomb on me. I'll blow us all up!" Now that is some greasy-grease-grease. I think the director had only done porn before too!

Friday the 13th Part 6: Jason Lives: Cool beginning then the slick Bond bit. The paintball survivalists were a good kill. The face into the RV side was innovative, and we get the sleeping bag spot in this one, right? Finale is actually suspenseful. But... *sigh* The humor, while well done, isn't necessary at all, and the conflict with Tommy and the cop is irritating. And there is like, no blood. 6/10. 

Friday the 13th Part 7: The New Blood: I dig on this one a little more with the Carrie final girl, Kane Hodder finally showing up with that gnarly Zombie Jason getup, him using some kind of weed-whacker at one point. But I wonder why if you're telekinetic you don't just use your powers to turn Jason upside down in the air and drive him headfirst into concrete until he's chunked. 6/10.

Friday the 13th Part 8: Jason Takes Manhattan: Horrible. Horrible. Only good parts are the ghetto-blaster kid with mask raise and the infamous boxing spot. 0/10. 

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday: I liked this one as a kid, but later views way less. The soundtrack is just the pits especially, irritating throughout. The start of this one though, holy shit. And the kill in the tent where the girl got split up the middle was great. I'll split it down the middle and give the pre-credits + autopsy scene (the eating the heart is sooooo groooooss) an 8/10 and the rest of it a 5/10. 

Jason X: Oh god, Jason Goes to Space? Cyborg Jason? I am a total outlier on finding this humorous and watchable, but it's incredibly stupid. The frozen head bust is nice. 3/10. 

Freddy vs. Jason: I am also gonna be an outlier on this one because I think it's a blast and watched it three times (by my memory) in the theater. Yeah, it's about as dumb as the last one, but it's so fun. The cornfield kegger getting massacred, the Destiny's Child chick talking shit to Freddy, the air tanks being used as missiles, great stuff. 8/10. 

Friday the 13th: The Remake: I'm actually watching this for the first time right now and I'm gonna give it a straight 9/10 almost. I've seen the ending before this but now I saw the beginning. Holy shit. Jason is Super Jason now, he's a fuckin' beast running up on people and using the machete like an artiste. The kids actually look attractive? Really? That's a change. (Except for final girl in FvJ who is hot-hot. Yeah I'm gonna be Cibernetico about these movies and don't feel guilty.) So, 8-9/10, more than likely.

That was fun!

We just rewatched them all, because I’m either a bad parent or the best parent, and I know it’s sacrilege, but the remake is better than most of the originals to me.

[Curt McGirt]

I mean, as far as craft and realism and not being stupid or unintentionally/intentionally funny go, it's a pretty bad mutha. The "trying to find the weed" subplot was intentionally stupid and a throwback though I guess it kinda needed that. And, oh yeah... Jason being an electrician.

Ebert reviewed it and pointed out we didn't get the full deal with the wood chipper just so they can drown him again when Jason NEVER drowns haha. That's a disappointment. I wanted the hockey mask flying out the front while woodsman killer goo flew out the back. 

Now please, nobody tell me the Nightmare with Jackie Earl Haley is good. Please. 

[HumanChessgame]

Speaking of remakes, the Toxic Avenger remake is better than it has any right to be. It knows exactly what it is and does it well. Against my better judgement I also tried to watch the Street Trash remake and made it about halfway through.

[The Natural]

Last night I went to see Scream (1996) in the cinema. Scream was one of my first horror films. I was 13 or 14 hiding the borrowed VHS away from my parents. Scream's in my top ten horror films ever made for the story, the commentary on horror predecessors as a fan of the genre and the performances. The opening sequence is one of the best in any film.

Edited November 2 by The Natural

[driver]

On 10/31/2025 at 9:57 PM, Curt McGirt said:

Weapons was just on TV and boy, that was something. You really have no idea where it's going. Don't even try. Just let it wash over you because you will absolutely not understand it until the last "chapter", so to speak. And don't bother any research behind watching a trailer because that'll spoil everything. 

I love Josh Brolin.

I enjoyed the hell out of it.

[Technico Support]

On 11/1/2025 at 12:47 PM, Curt McGirt said:

I mean, as far as craft and realism and not being stupid or unintentionally/intentionally funny go, it's a pretty bad mutha. The "trying to find the weed" subplot was intentionally stupid and a throwback though I guess it kinda needed that. And, oh yeah... Jason being an electrician.

Ebert reviewed it and pointed out we didn't get the full deal with the wood chipper just so they can drown him again when Jason NEVER drowns haha. That's a disappointment. I wanted the hockey mask flying out the front while woodsman killer goo flew out the back. 

Now please, nobody tell me the Nightmare with Jackie Earl Haley is good. Please. 

It would have been good but I feel like the writers chickened out.  At first, it seemed like the story was going to be that the parents killed an innocent man.  THAT would have been a badass twist: Freddy is completely justified?  Awesome.  But nope.  So yeah, not great.

[Curt McGirt]

Man, I don't know how killing an innocent man would make him THAT evil. Me, I'd rather lean into it: Freddy was a fucking child molester who they caught with dead kids in the basement and their guts strewn up around the place or something. One of them got away and they convinced them to say where the bad man who touched you on the place on the doll lived. They had to kick down the door and he was down there peeling skin. Make it really fucked up.

[Curt McGirt]

Sinners showed up again on HBO last night (coincidentally right after my therapist said she'd just watched it when I visited earlier!) so I finally watched it. Man, that was a lot to chew on. Ryan Coogler almost bit off more than HE could chew, trying to sew together (deep inhale) a period action-drama with a horror film with a musical that was also set in the Jim Crow South with an almost 100% black cast including one guy playing twins in the lead and making all kinds of social statements either overtly or covertly (deep exhale). It was excellent but also overstuffed. When the vampires showed themselves to be vampires and Ms. Steele from We Own the Night saying "they aren't ha'i'nts, they're vampires", I honestly cracked the fuck up big-time. It was just so absurd and coincidental, even if she was a ju-ju woman, to know vampires and their lore and how to kill them that it verged upon parody. The musical setpiece in the middle was incredible. Then you get vampires playing and dancing an Irish jig. I mean, that's kind of the dichotomy of the movie, isn't it? Michael B. Jordan is incredible as always and get this -- either I am totally stupid (quite possible) or the performance was that good, but I didn't realize he was playing a twin role. It wasn't until I read a review after that I realized it and felt like the dumbest guy on the planet. I kept thinking there was some other dude that looked similar and never put two and two together, even when I saw them/him together. Embarrassing. I think the dissimilar voices did it. Or I wasn't paying close enough attention, because as always I was double tasking. Fuck. Anyway, good but uneven. I dug the Buddy Guy denouement though, and boy can Omar Benson Miller sing and play. And Hailee Steinfeld sure has grown up since True Grit! 

This movie is also horny as hell. REAL horny.

[Curt McGirt]

And man was it long too -- 2 hours and 45 minutes?! People need to put the brakes on these movie lengths. I understand that he felt the need for that with the story he was telling but in general, movies being 2-2 1/2 hours needs to stop.

[Curt McGirt]

Uh oh... guess what Guillermo del Toro came up with visually for his Frankenstein's Monster?

Spoiler

SEXAY FRANKENSTEINNNNN~!

Oh, those high cheekbones... woof

 

Edited November 5 by Curt McGirt

[Technico Support]

On 11/5/2025 at 12:45 PM, Curt McGirt said:

And man was it long too -- 2 hours and 45 minutes?! People need to put the brakes on these movie lengths. I understand that he felt the need for that with the story he was telling but in general, movies being 2-2 1/2 hours needs to stop.

I really enjoyed it and felt like it flew by, though.  Definitely didn’t feel like 2.5 hours.

I like the interpretation of this film that says it’s about cultural appropriation.  The white Irish vampire making all the others dance to his music and desperately wants to assimilate the young black man and his music into his group.

[Curt McGirt]

It is absolutely about that, among other things. 

[odessasteps]

 

[Curt McGirt]

Here's something cool that got brought up on Facebook by a rando: How about we get a film about the Choctaw vampire hunters in Sinners? That would be dope as fuck. 

[Curt McGirt]

Just watched Opera for the first time in a gazillion years. It's really really good, better than I remember. The gunshot through the peephole scene is still incredible, and the stabbings are just vicious. Of course it's as implausible as any Argento -- why they wouldn't lock the poor girl up in a police station after the first time the killer bound her up is beyond me -- but you don't watch him for logic anyway. Anyway it's raised a little higher in the rankings of mine, I think I might have it dead even with Phenomena though it's way classier and despite what I said above more plausible. To get all Natural with it, see below

Spoiler

Lets go:

1. Inferno

2. Tenebrae

3. Suspiria

4. Deep Red

5. The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (I haven't seen this in decades but it still sticks with me as being that good)

6. Phenomena/Opera

biiiiiiiig leap down here to...

7. Mother of Tears

8. The Stendhal Syndrome

9. Trauma

I'm leaving Cat and Four Flies off because I've only seen bits and the end of Cat and I don't think I've seen Four Flies at all. And you'd probably have to pay me to watch the rest of them. His section of Two Evil Eyes is pretty nasty but it doesn't really count. "Jenifer" from Masters of Horror wasn't bad either but the soundtrack ruined it. Still wasn't as good as the comic either.

 

[Dolfan in NYC]

File this under "Just because you can doesn't mean you should"

 

[odessasteps]

As awful as the Pooh horror movie or the banana splits thing.

[Curt McGirt]

https://thehardtimes.net/lists/50-arthouse-horror-films-to-put-on-to-make-your-friends-hate-you/

"We all practice abstinence here at The Hard Times. Not a popped cherry in the house. When we see naughty-muffins in the magazines, we have to go home and spray ourselves with the hose." 

[RIPPA]

On 10/1/2025 at 3:43 PM, RIPPA said:

We Bury The Dead

Daisy Ridley in a pseudo zombie apocalypse was not on my bingo card

( I should note that its been doing this festival scene this year but isn't being "released" until January)

Full trailer which definitely raises the tension

(and despite using the same exact image - they are different trailers)

[RIPPA]

Night Patrol

This is the movie that has CM Punk in it as one of the big bads

Horror because of vampires I guess

[odessasteps]