https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYjpZqfuU7E&ab_channel=EuroObscura

Shiver Me Timbers

The new Popeye slasher movie... one of them, anyway. I think either two or three were/are in production. 

This looks about Troma quality

Heart Eyes is the first movie I've ever walked out on. Ever. 

If you want to watch a bunch of 20 year olds staring at their phones, feel free. They could have made this film with AI. In fact, they probably did. 

Dark Horseis reprinting Joe Bob goes to the drive in. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6O1NRs-YuU&ab_channel=WarnerBros.Classics

Has anybody ever seen Demon Seed? I was routed to its Wiki because I'm watching a movie its director made (White of the Eye on Screambox, which looks like a kind of American giallo with a particularly wild ending) and JEEZ. AI ends up being made by Fritz Weaver to forge a kind of HAL 9000 that wants to... impregnate... Julie Christie. Yes, you read that right. 

EDIT: White of the Eye was pretty crazy. There's a guy killing women in Arizona or somewhere; there's a truly giallo-esque open where some kind of red cooking liquid imitates the blood from the murder. Black gloved killer! Later on he ties a victim up with metal wire, dumps her in the bathtub and PUTS A MIRROR TO HER FACE. OOOOOOFTA. The rest off it is a psychological drama between a very young Cathy Moriarty and husband who has great '80s hair and seems a little off. Turns out 

Spoiler

he has some kind of brain injury that makes him think he's a superior being. Cathy finds body parts wrapped in plastic underneath the bathtub in this crawlspace with the plumbing; it's a real cool discovery as she notices the bloody wire and has to open the spot through the soap dish enlaid next to the tub and peek down there with a lighter. Well, hubby shows up and reveals all, locks her in the attic but she and the daughter (who comes off really smart and cute) escape, hubby follows with his face half painted red with a shotgun and A DYNAMITE VEST on. And then they meet an old friend who has been hiding in a ravine with a fucking M-60 to blow him away, because he saw him mutilate a deer and wield a Bowie knife at him. And then you can guess the rest. 

So yeah, pretty nuts, if also pretty slow, and shot in this real '80s, gauzy soft way. 

Edited February 17, 20251 yr by Curt McGirt

Also, The Monkey is finally coming out this weekend. Ads all over Screambox. Since the trailer got like a zillion watches (because apparently they actually check out the views on Youtube) it might not just end up on Paramount+ or somewhere I can't watch it in two weeks. 

BRING HER BACK

Directed by Danny and Michael Philippou (Talk To Me)

Premieres May 30th.

--

It's really unclear if this is a sequel for Talk To Me or it's own thing.

https://www.fangoria.com/dario-argento-phenomena-series/

Uh, okay...

Actually, this would make a pretty good series when you think about it. It's something that I can see people getting into these days. But also, it's an Italian production, and I have no idea if their film and TV industry ever picked back up after tanking in the '90s. Like I can see there being really bad CGI in this for example. It depends on the budget I suppose. HBO would do a bang-up job of it. 

Nosferatu: The EXTENDED CUT(OH MY!) is not streaming on Peacock.

 

The Monkey was pretty fun, and pretty weird to boot. Director Osgood Perkins is Anthony Perkins' kid so not only does he have that baggage (I hate to say/call it that though) but his mother

Spoiler

was on Flight 11 on 9/11. Yeah.

So this guy has some stuff to work through. And he does through some seriously dark comedy, basically taking the Final Destination template and dosing it with acid. There's even a psychedelic dream sequence. The timelines don't seem to feel right at all: Everything in the "1999" scenes besides a Goosebumps poster feel and look like they were set in 1979, from kids getting away with extreme bullying to the wood grain on the walls. All of the conversations that take place with people are hilariously incongruous too, along with all the side characters. The twins at the core of the story have a swinger aunt and uncle that absolutely stepped in from a time machine. When we move forward 25 years we meet an afro-wearing, vape-hitting Manager of the Month who is 30 years younger than the main twin yet also a skater dumbass who has hair like a '90s era Ramone. None of it makes any sense, but it makes perfect sense at the same time.

The kills though, you wanna know about the kills... they rule. I mean it is a lot of CGI but if you just accept it (like death) then they're great and, once again, funny as hell. Exploding heads, exploding bodies, flying limbs, heads set on fire, impalements, disembowelments, all as a result of freak occurances of all stripes. This is a splatter movie. Unapologetically. It's also one of the most off-kilter comedies you're gonna get all year if not for many years. 

The Woman in the Yard

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra (House of Wax, Orphan)

Danielle Deadwyler, Okwui Okpokwasili

Trailer goes a little too long and starts to give away too much

On 1/31/2025 at 6:04 PM, Dolfan in NYC said:

Matthew Lillard will return for Scream 7.

How?  Fuck you we're out of ideas.  That's how.

Scream 7 was apparently written by South Park's Memba Berries. 

David Arquette will return for this too.

They could always retcon him as a different character? It might lead to some humor. 

That reminds me that Skeet Ulrich seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth since Scream.

https://tubitv.com/movies/100013508/hunchback-of-the-morgue-dubbed

This is on Scream Factory TV right now and it is just tremendous. Paul Naschy made a ton of great films playing his versions of Dracula or the Wolfman but this little number is probably the most surreal one ever. He plays the titular character with a ton of actual pathos, even though he's running around hacking up people and stealing cadavers. There's a mad scientist, catacombs filled with skeletons and torture devices and an acid bath, gobs of gore, a monster that looks like either the Tarman from The Return of the Living Dead or a real-life version of the mucus monsters from Aqua Teen Hunger Force, and (unfortunately) real live rats set on fire that are jumping from their dinner of a dead body to attack Naschy (!). 

On 3/5/2025 at 5:17 PM, Curt McGirt said:

They could always retcon him as a different character? It might lead to some humor. 

That reminds me that Skeet Ulrich seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth since Scream.

Just bookmark this a year from now when everyone's falling all over themselves to say how brilliant is was to make Dewey's heretofore-unknown twin brother into this movie's Ghostface. 

I just hope Wes Craven's family get some royalties for all this

Paul Naschy continues to infect the streaming horror channels on Dish just like Bruno Mattei did the action and B-movie/sleaze channels, even in Elvira form. Count Dracula's Great Love was just on and is probably the only film where DRACULA COMMITS SUICIDE BY STAKE. Elvira says he committed hari-kari but that's not the same... but would be even more awesome. 

And this being Paul Naschy there is a ton of blood, Dracula's hos running around in their bedclothes and stripping each other, a guy getting an axe in his dome in the first five minutes, etc.

 

Barbie still looks great. 

I was really surprised to find out she ended up in the soaps for awhile, on shit my mom watched. 

Probably safe to say she was a favorite of many folks on the board who were the right age when Re-Animator and From Beyond came out. 

This was from a review of Opera I just read, re: the ending

Spoiler

Is it profound? Is it nonsense? Who cares? Argento doesn’t end movies—he abandons them, like a rock star smashing a guitar and walking offstage while the feedback still wails through the speakers.

He abandons them. What a way to put it. 

So, I can record stuff on the Dish streaming channels now. Including the four or five different horror channels and Midnight Pulp. 

My DVR is in trouble. 

Good thing is, the first film to record? The Company of Wolves!

On 3/5/2025 at 5:17 PM, Curt McGirt said:

That reminds me that Skeet Ulrich seems to have dropped off the face of the Earth since Scream.

He apparently was in an AMC show last year, and currently has three movies listed as being in post-production, so he's still working. I haven't seen anything he's done since the brief cameo in Scream VI, and nothing substantial since 5cream and Riverdale.

Edited March 16, 20251 yr by Brian Fowler

Bloody Disgusting is reporting that Saw 11 has been cancelled.

I wonder if anyone ever pitched a crossover callled “I SAW what you did last summer.” 

Hey, my friend Josh made a new movie:

THE BROOKLYN BUTCHER

 

He's looking for distribution.  I'll give updates as I get em.  He's got a showing in Boston next month though.