SECRET SATAN 2024

[Curt McGirt]

5 hours ago, RIPPA said:

What you're actually getting here is Z crossed with Late Night With the Devil.

This is interesting as Z was on TCM a couple nights ago. Somehow I didn't watch the whole thing. I think my attention span is just shot anymore. Anyway, what I did watch was gripping and it's as good as everyone says it is. (See also: The Battle of Algiers)

I'm gonna force myself to watch The Vampire Lovers and at least one other tonight. Been kind of a bummer of a day so it'll hopefully help. Hey, we're giving out candy to the kids! And it's the good stuff, too! That's something I've been bugging for for I dunno... over a decade?

[Curt McGirt]

4 hours ago, No Point Stance said:

No love for Torso (AKA The Body Showed Traces of Carnal Violence!)? Absolutely textbook giallo from IMHO the master of the form, Sergio Martino. The locked door scene is a masterclass in creating tension and dread.

Torso has taken a repeat spot on one of the Dish streaming horrors and I finally caught the end of it last night. Yet ANOTHER one I need to bust through, as I've had it on bootleg VHS since I was a kid. 

[(BP)]

Martino is my favorite giallo director. He didn’t have Argento’s verve, but all of his movies in the genre are bangers. He kind of bridges the gap between Italy’s 60s crime thrillers and 70s proto-slashers.

There’s usually the suggestion of a sexual thrill killer in the beginning of his horror movies, and then there’s a turn that reveals more complex criminal conspiracies at the heart of the murders. Torso is the exception where it is a true early slasher, and it’s one hell of an exception.  

[No Point Stance]

6 hours ago, J.T. said:

It is cool how McCarthy is from Cork, Ireland and sets all of his films there.  He probably films there to save on travel and location expenses

As an Irish guy myself, I can state from experience that people from Cork tend to be fantastically tight-fisted.

[The Comedian]

11 hours ago, RIPPA said:

Anyway, it’s always fun doing this, and thanks to whoever picked this movie. I’m glad I got to see this.

Actually found out about it from here while looking for interesting horror films to watch...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMOmdzcGZDk

[Curt McGirt]

I didn't know Martino was 2nd AD on The Whip and the Body and also was behind the legendary After the Fall of New York! All of his giallo titles look like must-sees, as all of them have been re-released and drooled over in recent years. 

[Curt McGirt]

Since I watched it last night and have wanted to throw in another review, here's this. It's enormous, so be forewarned. 

Spoiler

3 FROM HELL (2019, Rob Zombie)

Well, I realized that THIS was the first 2019 movie I saw after the pandemic settled down. I thought it was Color Out of Space but that was actually released in 2020. Remember, it had a special "limited event" airing because it was basically crowdfunded so you had to catch it within a certain timespace. I was there opening night. 

My history with Zombie is a contentious one. I've always respected him as an artist in general. White Zombie was one of the first bands I ever got into and I even revisited La Sexorcisto recently to find it was still a fun little combination of dumb, catchy hammer-on-the-E-chord groove riffs with "slow Slayer" bits thrown in, threaded together by samples. The solo stuff is definitely not for me but I mean, that's entirely his own whole aesthetic and musical style, nothing else is like it. His films I've been conflicted with even moreso. House of 1000 Corpses is just a ridiculous haunted house/haunted hayride/corn-row maze of a movie, like if he got ahold of one of those big live scare walkthroughs and put it on film. The silent shooting of the sheriff is one of the bits that clearly showed he had talent for composition and cinematographic work -- in other words, he could make a good movie. 

Then came Halloween. 

It really didn't appeal to me, starting with the fact that it was a fucking remake of a stone classic. Ending on Malcolm McDowall constantly yelling "Michael!" while Myers smashed through a building like the Hulk was particularly stupid as I recall; Danielle Harris grew up into a hottie but that's no way to grade a film. My experience with 2 was being drunk with friends and just laughing my ass off at Sherri Moon and whatever plot was going on. I haven't revisited it and will not. (My second best semi-remembrance of laughing at a horrible movie with friends under the influence was going to the theater to see Alien vs. Predator: Requiem.) What I remember of The Lords of Salem wasn't bad but I think I never finished it, and I never saw 31 or (yuck) The Munsters. At least that last one gave Daniel Roebuck and Richard Brake (see soon) a paycheck. 

But The Devil's Rejects! Boy howdy. I must've went to that fucking movie at least four times. LOVED IT. His version of Badlands was such a sadistic orgy of carnage that there wasn't any way I wasn't gonna like it. He absolutely unleashed Bill Moseley this time, even moreso than in 1000 Corpses, to become one of the best villains in horror. Sid Haig capped off a troubled career with one of the wildest yet most sinister roles. And surprise! Sherri Moon Zombie can act! She's irritating but totally off her rocker in a very dangerous feeling way. William Forsythe chewed the scenery most violently, and Ken Foree hit all the right notes in his role. Danny Trejo and DDP even showed up! The thing about the film is even though these people are stone killers and incredibly evil, you become friends with them and root for their escape, you even get to party with them in the awesome scene at the whorehouse*. There's comedy with the chicken purchase scene and the... not quite working Groucho scene. And it caps off with a cruel raid and maybe the best shootout suicide of all time... in fact I can't think of another one except for The Wild Bunch. 

So trying to cap that off with another movie, especially after all of the three are apparently blown to pieces at the end, is not only puzzling but a hard task. Basically the thing to do with 3 from Hell is just... go along with it. Ignore the almost total lack of logic. They show diagrams of how the Firefly clan are shot up and clearly they couldn't survive, yet they do. We get a bunch of Manson-esque shit from TV reports (including a cameo from Assault on Precinct 13's Austin Stoker) and a literally final scene for Sid Haig, who was on his last legs in real life and passed away before the end of shooting. It's a good sendoff with him as bat-shit as ever, and sending him off via lethal injection is a logical way to do it unlike most of the rest of the events in the film. Moseley's Otis is rescued from a chain gang by Richard Brake's Winslow Foxworth "Foxy" Coltrane (AKA the Midnight Wolfman. You can't accuse Zombie of subtlety or understatement), the Firefly cousin. Then we get a big chunk of Baby being tortured in jail by an old, haggard lesbian prison guard (played by Dee Wallace!). Otis and Foxy inexplicably figure out where the ridiculously dressed and be-moustached warden of the prison lives and tie up him, the deputy of the prison, and their wives who are supposed to have dinner. Even more inexplicably they then force the warden to sneak Baby out of jail, and he succeeds! They slaughter the family (and a clown who shows up. Don't ask, I have no answer) and take off to Mexico. 

In Mexico (who knows how they got over the border) they hit a shithouse town with a real character of a mayor/bartender/gravedigger, a bunch of mean hombres and whores all painted up for Dia de los Muertos, and a little person with an eyepatch who ends up playing a significant role from here on out. Meanwhile the mayor lets wind that the Fireflys are in town to local Black Satans gang leader Aquarius, played by the ever dependable Emilio Rivera, in whos family was Danny Trejo (who Otis conviently got thrown on the chain gang with and shotgunned). So we are all set up for another party scene followed by another shootout, and a big one. 

For all the complete and total lapses in logic that occur in this film, down to wounds that would need to be possibly lethal or debilitating that are shrugged off, this is yet another fun, cruel hangout/escape/chase film. All the splatter of the last two is in full effect -- even the ridiculously phony CGI blood splatter that occurred in a scene from Rejects. Richard Brake is the real treasure here. His Foxy is so chill and laid back, even when wielding a shotgun. He doesn't seem to entirely share the sadism of Otis or Baby (who is made even loopier from solitary confinement) but is totally encouraging when they get into it. Really, he helps to balance out the absurdity of the other two characters and level things off, make it more fun, from his wolf howls to him quoting The Hunchback of Notre Dame on TV to a whore. All the little artistic touches like Baby's Native American headdress and bow and arrow to the Black Satans members' lucha masks to the ludicrous 'stache on the warden, and the black velvet painting of himself in his own home, are in full effect. In short (especially due to the size of this review), the film is just plain fun. And it ends just how it should. I couldn't ask for anything more. 

Spoiler

* What a chunk of dialogue.

Charlie: "I gotta piss. Now, I know you got a nose like a vacuum cleaner. Don't do up all my cocaine!"

Spaulding: "Awww. I love you, you my brother, and you know I won't."

*Charlie walks away for a second, then returns*

*takes away cocaine*

"I love you, but I love my cocaine more. Fuck you."

"Awww, now that's some coooold shit right there..." ()

*picks up joint*

"Well, any port in a fuckin' storm."

 Love it.

 

Edited November 1, 2024 by Curt McGirt

[The Comedian]

On 10/31/2024 at 12:16 PM, No Point Stance said:

No love for Torso (AKA The Body Showed Traces of Carnal Violence!)? Absolutely textbook giallo from IMHO the master of the form, Sergio Martino. The locked door scene is a masterclass in creating tension and dread.

Haven't seen it yet. I've seen a decent amount of giallos, but not close to expertise. Classic zombie movies, I'm pretty close to expertise. Blaxploitation, hell, I've seen Candy Tangerine Man. Forget that, I've seen Jamaa Fanaka's legendary student film Welcome Home Brother Charles. I've read and re-read Darius James' "That's Blaxploitation: Roots of the Baadasssss 'Tude" a million times. But giallos I got to rather late in the game...

[(BP)]

My absolute favorite giallos:

Spoiler

Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key 

Torso 

Deep Red

Tenebrae

Opera

Don’t Torture a Ducking

Giallo Adjacent:

Stage Fright

Don’t Look Now

Amsterdamned

American Giallos:

Alice Sweet Alice

Happy Birthday to Me

Eyes of Laura Mars

Neo-giallos:

Knife + Heart

Malignant

 

[No Point Stance]

5 hours ago, The Comedian said:

Haven't seen it yet. I've seen a decent amount of giallos, but not close to expertise. Classic zombie movies, I'm pretty close to expertise. Blaxploitation, hell, I've seen Candy Tangerine Man. Forget that, I've seen Jamaa Fanaka's legendary student film Welcome Home Brother Charles. I've read and re-read Darius James' "That's Blaxploitation: Roots of the Baadasssss 'Tude" a million times. But giallos I got to rather late in the game...

I goddamn love Jamaa Fanaka. Quite apart from having a name that's hella fun to say, he gave us two of the most insane films ever made in Welcome Home, Brother Charles / Soul Vengeance and Penitentiary III. I remember really liking The Candy Tangerine Man but I've only ever seen a rip taken from a grainy old VHS, and I really need to get that swish new blu ray edition.

[RIPPA]

THE INNOCENTS (Jack Clayton, 1961)

IMDB : ROTTEN TOMATOES

SELECTED BY @Execproducer

REVIEWED BY @Lawful Metal

Okay The Innocents (1961) finally finished this on three different platforms on laptop and tv and back again and holy shit this is actually the Turning of the Screw or the Taming of the Shrew or whatevs I didn't realize until the end of the movie and she raised her hands to prayer and I was like holy shit that's like the very first shot of the move so I was like I should go back to the beginning and wow it says it right there based on Turning of the Screw by Henry James and wow that all makes sense now.

So this uncle bachelor (who's not a lonely bachelor = "lifelong bachelor" like Lindsey Graham, bet) hires wide eyed Governess Ms Giddens whose only real reaction to anything is to get even more wide eyed.  It's actually kinda impressive and I kept trying to do it with her but like genetics or whatevs.  She gets to the mansion or manor or what have you and she's like opulence I have it.  And then she meets the housekeeper Ms Grose and like nobody else and then she meets Flora who seems nice enough but its still a little weird and she keeps singing that O Willow Waly song and yeah it's one of those creepy kid songs you've heard forever and keeps popping up and look it's from this movie don't forget and then her brother Miles comes back and he's a total little shit and he's got Flora acting like a shit and now poor Ms Giddens can't enjoy her opulence because she's got two little shits and then suddenly the music's gone and there's a creepy Charles Bronson looking dude hanging out in the tower and in the window and he's got the coldest coldest eyes and yeah, I get it, you're lonely Ms Giddens but you can't seriously be all Scarlett O'Hara on the first undead dude who shows up in the window or the tower but then she keeps seeing Ms. Jezel (Ms. Jezebel?) across the lake and they're dead and maybe they're trying to take over the children but nobody else can see them so Ms. Giddens' wide-eyed lookee loo is trying to get other people to admit it and they like you crazy and maybe she is crazy or maybe they are trying to take over the childrens and that's why they act like little shits and then next thing you know Miles got a dead bird in his bed and trying to make out with Ms. Giddens (which she doesn't really fight off because face it she already in love with Peter Quint and just doesn't want to admit it so she's all wide eyed but it's probably the closest she's gon get) and then Flora's doing ballet she doesn't know (but Ms. Jezel knew!) and so she hatches a plan for Ms Grose to take Flora to London so she can "confront" Miles about him really being Peter Quint or something that should probably result in multiple felonies but Miles ends up chucking a turtle out a window and so Ms Giddens ends up chasing him into the garden and one of the statutes gets replaced with Peter Quint who does .... actually nothing and Miles dead and its all Ms Giddens fault and so she prays and aw shit we back to the beginning of the movie.

Superb atmosphere, great acting (especially those little shits) and all the wide eyed expressions but I know it's the first but I think there's been like 10 different iterations of this and I don't know I think I liked some of them more than this one.  I mean, this one was more subtle but subtlety is not exactly my strongest suit so I don't know.  Probably shouldn't have tried to watch late at night as I fell asleep and woke up and had to go back and forth and back and forth and at one point i really thought Peter Quint was Charles Bronson but I don't think the math maths and really they don't look anything alike so who knows.

A million billion stars minus one

EDITOR'S NOTE

There is a version in Internet Archive (when it is working) - https://archive.org/details/The.Innocents.1961JackClaytonHomeCinema

[Curt McGirt]

That almost being entirely one long run-on sentence is amazing

[Lawful Metal]

3 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

That almost being entirely one long run-on sentence is amazing

I do have a style. Didn’t I review your pick last year? Horror Express?

[Curt McGirt]

I think so? And I don't mean to be such a sarcastic asshole, I really did appreciate it. Horror Express should be watched by everybody, and my dumb ass hasn't even seen The Innocents. Just consider me the Telly Savalas who deserves to be smacked down. 

[RIPPA]

I will be posting stuff probably the rest of the week (I haven't done the exact math yet)

I am missing one review so I might need someone (who isn't POE! ) to take on another review

Bonus reviews are still welcome

[Andrew POE!]

1 hour ago, RIPPA said:

I will be posting stuff probably the rest of the week (I haven't done the exact math yet)

I am missing one review so I might need someone (who isn't POE! ) to take on another review

Bonus reviews are still welcome

Sure I can do it! Oh wait someone who isn't me. I can dig through the various movies I've seen since March that are horror movies and send those reviews in as bonus reviews lol.

As of today, I've seen 874 movies since March 3.

[Lawful Metal]

2 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

I think so? And I don't mean to be such a sarcastic asshole, I really did appreciate it. Horror Express should be watched by everybody, and my dumb ass hasn't even seen The Innocents. Just consider me the Telly Savalas who deserves to be smacked down. 

You're not a sarcastic asshole.  And I loved Horror Express.  It was made for a review in that run-on style

[Lawful Metal]

I did a bonus review.

[RIPPA]

15 minutes ago, Lawful Metal said:

I did a bonus review.

Yeah - I have it

[RIPPA]

HELL NIGHT (Tom DeSimome, 1981)

IMDB : ROTTEN TOMATOES

SELECTED BY @No Point Stance

This year I decided to forsake my usual pattern of obscurities and instead opt for 1981's HELL NIGHT, starring Linda Blair. It's very simply a perfect, entertaining, moderately spooky and moderately bloody genre pic, ideal October fare in my book. There's at at least one genuinely chilling moment in amongst the fun - a fun that begins in the film's very opening second and endures a well-paced and breezy 80-something minutes.

REVIEWED BY @odessasteps

I do not believe I’ve seen this film since renting it in the early 1980s from our local video store, in an era when you eventually renting everything these mom and pop stores carried at the time.

It’s Hell Night at College X and for their fraternity/sorority initiation, four pledges have to spend the night in the local haunted house, where a rich guy purportedly killed himself, his wife and their deformed/handicapped children.

Our protagonists are good girl Marti (Linda Blair), son of a garage owner who swapped taking tests for his sisters for free clothes and a car; rich but nice kid Jeff, surfer boy Seth (Vincent Van Patten, he’s the tennis playing brother, not the one from Master Ninja) and party girl Denise.

Once our heroes are locked up in the mansion, the fraternity president, his henchman and one of the girls sneak back to the house to set up all the scary pranks. But wouldn’t you know it, not all the deformed kids were killed and are secretly living in the basement of this mansion (did I mention the giant iron gates and the hedge maze).

Soon enough, people start dying and eventually, as you might expect, the lone good girl survives in the sun just as the sun comes up (spoiler).

By today’s standards and maybe even the standards of early 1980s slasher films, this film is quite tame. Not too much blood, no nudity and some suspense but not a lot. The reviews do point out how social class is at the heart of this picture: good girl Marti is a good mechanic but also smart. The friction between her and the rich guy is around at the start, but soon these two kids seem to fall for each other. Meanwhile, Seth and Denise just want to make out, when Seth isn’t talking about surfing.

This is a perfectly serviceable 1980s slasher movie that is a bit slow, but also does not throw all the cliches into the picture. 

EDITOR'S NOTE

It is (or was) on Amazon and on a bunch of free places like Tubi, Plex, etc..

[Curt McGirt]

It's been played a lot on one of the Dish streaming horror channels. I stop in every once in awhile, just to look at Linda Blair, who had... grown up... at that point. 

[J.T.]

So yeah.  The Innocents is the best ghost story movie not named The Haunting or The Devil's Backbone.  Then again it should be because the novella it's inspired by, The Turn of the Screw, is fucking awesome.

I don't think that people give enough credit to the early slashers like Hell Night and Happy Birthday to Me.  They really did their best to be dumbed down giallo and not just exercises in gory special effects..  If Halloween did the slasher genre any disservice, it was the establishment of the killer as a known quantity rather than taking the whodunnit route that giallo tend to take with their black-gloved ambiguous killers and laundry list of suspects.

I can forgive Carpenter, because he substituted gloomy foreshadowing in exchange for ambiguity and it paid huge dividends.  I don't think you get the action movie equivalents like "He's trained to survive. Period. To live off of the land. To eat things that would make a billy goat puke," or "I once saw him kill three men in a bar with a pencil. A fucking pencil," if not for Dr. Loomis's selling of Michael Myers as something far worse than a mere escaped asylum patient.

"I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying to keep him locked up, because I realized that what was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply... evil. "

How often do you get that kind of delivery on a shoestring budget?  Donald Pleasence was proof that there are no small roles.

Edited November 6, 2024 by J.T.

[No Point Stance]

First year in a while that my pick has been so underwhelming, so I'll prolly lean back into the subtitled obscurities next time. Apologies to odessa.

[odessasteps]

7 hours ago, No Point Stance said:

First year in a while that my pick has been so underwhelming, so I'll prolly lean back into the subtitled obscurities next time. Apologies to odessa.

Id happily rather watch an early 80s slasher film than something modern or a zombie movie. No apologies needed.

[RIPPA]

Sorry for the delays - I’m struggling to find a computer that doesn’t hate the board.

Im back in my office tomorrow so worst case, I will just do a mega dump of posts then