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2013 NFL: WEEK 14


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Apparently some 49er fans are trying to raise enough money to buy a billboard here in Seattle near Quest Field that would show 5 Lombardi trophies with the words "How many do you have?"

 

These are the same fans who need INSTRUCTIONS on how to cheer loudly for their team  http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/49ers-send-fans-how-to-guide-cheering-article-1.1537678

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How many 49er fans does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but all he'll do is tell you how great the old one was. I await your bile and venom Niners fans.

 

To be fair here are a few other good NFL jokes I came across while searching for a funny 49er one:

 

What's the difference between a dollar bill and the Oakland Raiders? You can still get 4 quarters out of a dollar bill.

 

Why doesn't Tuscon have a pro football team? Because then Phoenix would want one.

 

How many Dallas Cowboys does it take to win a superbowl? Only 2: Troy Aikman and Emmitt Smith.

 

If you have a car containing 3 Seahawk players which one is driving? The cop.

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Jacksonville right now has more wins than 5 teams. 

 

The Texans finish with Indy, Denver and Tenn - that is one win max.

 

Based on the SOS right now... if they get that one win and the Skins lose out... the Rams would have the #1 pick

 

Oh yeah... I might pass out from laughter

There's no way we're beating any of those teams.  Peyton Manning indoors against a Texans team he has owned for years, @ Indy where the Texans have never won, and rivalry game @ Tenn.  There's just no way we win any of them.  2-14.

 

The question is, who the hell is going to be the QB of the Jags going forward?  It's not Henne, not Gabbert, and with QBs pulling out of the draft, and their draft position, who are they going to end up with?  Manziell?  Derek Carr?  That's a problem.

 

You guys should worry about the next guy in line possibly keeping Shaub and Keenum instead of what we do, lol.

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LOL.  I coulda won a Super Bowl with John Elway and health Terrell Davis.  Mike Shanahan is one of the most overrated coaches of all-time.

 

I remembered when I was living in Denver, the guy was revered as some kinda demi-gawd. I never understood it. His smile reeks of arrogance, he didn't do shit after Elway left, and who wouldn't look good in a division that was the 2000's AFC West?

 

 

And I hate the fucking Texans because the Phins can't beat them for shit. I am serious, the team is 7-0 and I don't fucking get it.

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I enjoy when my Sundays start off with Redskins turmoil

 

Latest reports are that Shanahan was ready to leave the Skins after last season because he hates Dan Snyder and RG3's relationship.

 

He changed his mind when RG3's knee exploded in the playoff game because he didn't want it to bee seen that he was leaving because of the injury.

 

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10101919/mike-shanahan-was-ready-quit-washington-redskins-2012-season

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In other news, the Steelers will definitely lose a late round draft pick because of the Tomlin fiasco, and that the round will be earlier if the Ravens miss the playoffs.

 

Also, NFL Network's reporting that the Titans are pretty much all set to clean house after this season, getting rid of at least Munchak and Chris Johnson and maybe even Locker.  Apparently if Locker is let go the Titans may go after Cutler...

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Well 95 was basically the dividing line between who is getting show and who is getting rain/sleet.

 

So FedEx is on the wrong side for snow but the field will still look like shit

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I hope this means Snyder and RG3 are on the down-low.

 

Somewhere Clinton Portis is crying right now screaming I WAS YOUR FIRST

 

If the story is true that he had his bags packed before the playoff game then you can't possibly have any respect for the Red Lobster.   You never want to hear your head coach is ready to leave when he still have to coach.

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I enjoy when my Sundays start off with Redskins turmoil

 

Latest reports are that Shanahan was ready to leave the Skins after last season because he hates Dan Snyder and RG3's relationship.

 

He changed his mind when RG3's knee exploded in the playoff game because he didn't want it to bee seen that he was leaving because of the injury.

 

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10101919/mike-shanahan-was-ready-quit-washington-redskins-2012-season

 

Shanahans to the Texans with Kirk Cousins and all problems solved?

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I enjoy when my Sundays start off with Redskins turmoil

 

Latest reports are that Shanahan was ready to leave the Skins after last season because he hates Dan Snyder and RG3's relationship.

 

He changed his mind when RG3's knee exploded in the playoff game because he didn't want it to bee seen that he was leaving because of the injury.

 

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/10101919/mike-shanahan-was-ready-quit-washington-redskins-2012-season

 

Shanahans to the Texans with Kirk Cousins and all problems solved?

 

 

Yeah it seems like both Shanny's are going to Houston which would make sense.   Given how the Texans are a top 5 pick and the Skins are going to give away their top 3 pick to the Rams a trade for Cousins would be a no brainer

 

Problems in DC are never solved.  They are just covered in sprinkles to make it look much better than before

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Why would Houston trade for Cousins though?  I don't know if he's really an upgrade over Keenum, and I still think Houston might want Kyle to try to get Schaub back to how he was playing before the last couple of years.

 

(Unless Shaub's a free agent...I have no idea though)

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Oh yeah - we have reached the point where all the DC media are tweeting out pics showing how shitty the crowd is at FedEx

 

I might not wear pants this afternoon... or at least until the Giants infuriate me

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Why would Houston trade for Cousins though?  I don't know if he's really an upgrade over Keenum, and I still think Houston might want Kyle to try to get Schaub back to how he was playing before the last couple of years.

 

(Unless Shaub's a free agent...I have no idea though)

 

I don't think Schaub can come back to Houston.  The fans are ready to set him on fire every time he throws an incomplete pass, let alone an INT.  It's time to pull the plug on that relationship.

 

I don't know why Houston would trade for Cousins, either.  Not when they'll have at least a Top 3 pick in next year's draft.  It would be better to draft and develop their own QB, I would think.  Or just keep Keenum and ride that out for another year.

 

I would say whatever they do, Houston shouldn't hire Shanny.  But since I think he's a pretty bad coach who insists on bringing his lame-o son with him, the Texans should go for it! :P

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