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DECEMBER WRESTLING CHIT CHAT


RIPPA

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Gee, I really hope this turns into another round of everyone arguing about whether or not Punk and Bryan are believably tough enough to be main eventers.

I hope not, because that's not what I was aiming at.  To be fair, I think Bryan is well trained enough to kick someone's ass.  I was thinking more along the lines of the guys that are presented as badasses or someone we're supposed to find believable, but obviously aren't. 

 

 

Punk looks like a guy who could kick someone's ass in a bar fight. He's not all muscled up or anything but he just looks like a guy who'd bite your nose off or pull some other ridiculously terrible thing to win a fight. He looks scuzzy tough if that makes any sense. And I've met D-Bry and while he's a short guy, he's not super small next to an average person. He's built pretty well.

 

CM Punk as Bobby Hill? I accept that.

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Gee, I really hope this turns into another round of everyone arguing about whether or not Punk and Bryan are believably tough enough to be main eventers.

I hope not, because that's not what I was aiming at.  To be fair, I think Bryan is well trained enough to kick someone's ass.  I was thinking more along the lines of the guys that are presented as badasses or someone we're supposed to find believable, but obviously aren't. 

 

 

Punk looks like a guy who could kick someone's ass in a bar fight. He's not all muscled up or anything but he just looks like a guy who'd bite your nose off or pull some other ridiculously terrible thing to win a fight. He looks scuzzy tough if that makes any sense. And I've met D-Bry and while he's a short guy, he's not super small next to an average person. He's built pretty well.

 

CM Punk as Bobby Hill? I accept that.

 

 

I see Punk as a Gribble type. Pocket sand!

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Gee, I really hope this turns into another round of everyone arguing about whether or not Punk and Bryan are believably tough enough to be main eventers.

I hope not, because that's not what I was aiming at.  To be fair, I think Bryan is well trained enough to kick someone's ass.  I was thinking more along the lines of the guys that are presented as badasses or someone we're supposed to find believable, but obviously aren't. 

 

 

Punk looks like a guy who could kick someone's ass in a bar fight. He's not all muscled up or anything but he just looks like a guy who'd bite your nose off or pull some other ridiculously terrible thing to win a fight. He looks scuzzy tough if that makes any sense. And I've met D-Bry and while he's a short guy, he's not super small next to an average person. He's built pretty well.

 

CM Punk as Bobby Hill? I accept that.

 

 

I see Punk as a Gribble type. Pocket sand!

 

I always felt like this is exactly how Corey Graves should be booked.

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I hate to break it to you guys, but most of the WWE roster could take the average person in a fight, just on cardio alone.

 

Except Miz.

 

Most fights are over in like 30 seconds so cardio doesn't mean anything.

 

 

Maybe those bar fights where people just wrestle each other to the ground. but I've seen plenty of fights that have gone over 30 seconds.

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Gee, I really hope this turns into another round of everyone arguing about whether or not Punk and Bryan are believably tough enough to be main eventers.

I hope not, because that's not what I was aiming at.  To be fair, I think Bryan is well trained enough to kick someone's ass.  I was thinking more along the lines of the guys that are presented as badasses or someone we're supposed to find believable, but obviously aren't. 

 

 

Punk looks like a guy who could kick someone's ass in a bar fight. He's not all muscled up or anything but he just looks like a guy who'd bite your nose off or pull some other ridiculously terrible thing to win a fight. He looks scuzzy tough if that makes any sense. And I've met D-Bry and while he's a short guy, he's not super small next to an average person. He's built pretty well.

 

Being good at bar fights is a skill that is wasted on CM Punk.

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I hate to break it to you guys, but most of the WWE roster could take the average person in a fight, just on cardio alone.

 

Except Miz.

 

Most fights are over in like 30 seconds so cardio doesn't mean anything.

 

 

Maybe those bar fights where people just wrestle each other to the ground. but I've seen plenty of fights that have gone over 30 seconds.

 

 Perhaps but I highly doubt cardio is the deciding factor in most fights unless you're in a controlled environment.

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I hate to break it to you guys, but most of the WWE roster could take the average person in a fight, just on cardio alone.

Except Miz.

Most fights are over in like 30 seconds so cardio doesn't mean anything.

Maybe those bar fights where people just wrestle each other to the ground. but I've seen plenty of fights that have gone over 30 seconds.

Perhaps but I highly doubt cardio is the deciding factor in most fights unless you're in a controlled environment.

I dunno, I was attacked by a guy who was floridly psychotic, but in such shape that a couple of whiff punches had him winded and incapable of carrying on.

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I hate to break it to you guys, but most of the WWE roster could take the average person in a fight, just on cardio alone.

Except Miz.

Most fights are over in like 30 seconds so cardio doesn't mean anything.

Maybe those bar fights where people just wrestle each other to the ground. but I've seen plenty of fights that have gone over 30 seconds.

Perhaps but I highly doubt cardio is the deciding factor in most fights unless you're in a controlled environment.

I dunno, I was attacked by a guy who was floridly psychotic, but in such shape that a couple of whiff punches had him winded and incapable of carrying on.

 

 

And this is what I'm talking about. In fights most people just try and punch you as hard as they possibly can, exerting tons of energy on punches they may or may not land. Tires someone out fast.

 

Anyway, any guesses on who Batista's first program is with?

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I usually challenge the other guy to throw a baseball at my chest.  And then I talk at him and get inside his head and he starts to get nervous cause everyone has gathered around to watch.  He usually misses and then we get to know each other and work it out.

 

And then we take turns with Max Patkin banging Susan Sarandon.

 

It's worked for me like three times.  By the way, Susan Sarandon is pretty slutty it turns out.

 

 

 

 

 

And Max Patkin is a goddamn stallion.

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I hate to break it to you guys, but most of the WWE roster could take the average person in a fight, just on cardio alone.

Except Miz.

Most fights are over in like 30 seconds so cardio doesn't mean anything.

Maybe those bar fights where people just wrestle each other to the ground. but I've seen plenty of fights that have gone over 30 seconds.

Perhaps but I highly doubt cardio is the deciding factor in most fights unless you're in a controlled environment.

I dunno, I was attacked by a guy who was floridly psychotic, but in such shape that a couple of whiff punches had him winded and incapable of carrying on.

 

 

And this is what I'm talking about. In fights most people just try and punch you as hard as they possibly can, exerting tons of energy on punches they may or may not land. Tires someone out fast.

 

Anyway, any guesses on who Batista's first program is with?

 

Cena.

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Anyway, any guesses on who Batista's first program is with?

God, if it's Lesnar, and they both get to 'Mania and the crowd starts chanting "YOU BOTH SUCK!" that will be a great time to be alive.

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Gee, I really hope this turns into another round of everyone arguing about whether or not Punk and Bryan are believably tough enough to be main eventers.

I hope not, because that's not what I was aiming at.  To be fair, I think Bryan is well trained enough to kick someone's ass.  I was thinking more along the lines of the guys that are presented as badasses or someone we're supposed to find believable, but obviously aren't. 

 

 

Punk looks like a guy who could kick someone's ass in a bar fight. He's not all muscled up or anything but he just looks like a guy who'd bite your nose off or pull some other ridiculously terrible thing to win a fight. He looks scuzzy tough if that makes any sense. And I've met D-Bry and while he's a short guy, he's not super small next to an average person. He's built pretty well.

 

CM Punk as Bobby Hill? I accept that.

 

 

I see Punk as a Gribble type. Pocket sand!

 

 

"Squirrel tactics!"

 

 

(did i get that right?)

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I posted this on Facebook and thought it might be a good topic starter.

 

Something I just thought about. A huge thing missing from today's wrestling climate is the believability of the characters. For as long as I've been a fan, up until about 12-13 years ago, you always got the feeling that all of those dudes could kick your ass in a real fight. They didn't take any crap. Even lower card heels were presented as dudes that might get their tail kicked by the babyface, but they'd still kick yours.

Thats why it was so important to have managers, they could show that weakness for the guys so everyone looked strong. I'm not just talking about the monster guys like Barbarian, Andre, etc either. Dudes like Bret Hart, Tully, Arn, Haku were all seen as legit tough guys. Right now, there are too many guys that the average fan would look at and think "I could take him", and there is a good chance that they could. Before, if there was a guy that didn't come off like such a tough guy, like Honky Tonk Man or even early HBK, they made sure to go all the way with it, and use that to make you hate him even more.

I guess what I'm saying is that there are too many guys pretending to be bad dudes, instead of actually being one. That is why someone like Brock, Mark Henry, Langston, Reigns, Bully Ray or even James Storm are taken seriously. You know those guys would hand you your ass in a fight.

I can't help think this is more to do with your changed attitudes towards wrestling and less about wrestling itself.  Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair, Terry Funk, Roddy Piper, Iron Sheik, and arguably Hogan himself all share three things in common relevant to this:

 

1) They are some of the biggest stars in of the age in wrestling you seem to be referring to.

2) They tend more towards the theatrical than the intimidating.

3) I, at least, don't think they're any more believably tough than Austin / Punk / Bryan / Angle / Triple H / Sheamus.

 

There's this weird attitude in wrestling fandom where the idea that a random fan could "kick such-and-such's ass" keeps popping up as a comment.  I don't understand that at all.  Have you seen random wrestling fans?  Or just regular people in general?  There's a viral video right now from a bus in Seattle where a mugger with a gun is robbing people.  One guy decides to bum-rush him and it leads to a struggle.  That's how most "real" fights go unless there's someone with martial arts/combat training involved.  Pro-wrestlers, assuming they don't have military past or take some form of combat training (which many do), still have an edge in that they are essentially professional athletes and they are used to taking an incredible beating on their bodies night after night.  Ray Misterio could probably kick most fans' ass if it came down to it.

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