AEW Dynamite - 5/17/2023

[The Natural]

59 minutes ago, JLowe said:

Y'all, I am like 5 pages into a Word Document and haven't even gotten to main event of Dynamite. I need to either edit or make multiple posts.

 

9 minutes ago, Matt D said:

Multiple posts. We have nothing but time.

 

1 minute ago, Zimbra said:

Agreed.  I want the Ulysses of road reports.

Agreed. Whole thing, please and thank you.

Edited May 19, 2023 by The Natural

[The Natural]

Edited May 19, 2023 by The Natural

[JLowe]

Part 1: the preshow!

Spoiler

Wednesday morning started in Beaumont, Texas, a place that is neither beautiful nor mountainous (said “monts” are salt domes that were the source of the legendary Spindletop oil strike, which started the first real Texas oil boom). Tuesday was the 10^th anniversary of my father-in-law’s death, and while I entered the picture a few months after he passed, being the loving husband and general good dude that I am, we made a quick trip to be there on the day. Got to Austin around 2:15 after a 4 hour drive.

By 4 pm, it was clear that my wife was not feeling good enough to attend the AEW show with me. This was always a concern with her chronic health issues, but she really wanted to go and was disappointed (even if her plan was to bring a sign about missing the VPR finale). I clicked on the ol’ Ticketmaster app to sell her ticket and the option wasn’t available. I would soon learn why.

Got a rideshare in case I over-consumed, even though my plan was to take it easy given that I had to work Thursday afternoon and that I had already dropped around $100 drinking at the Cure concert the previous Sunday. The cheapest beers at the Moody Center are Bud Light and Michelob UItra for $12, and I will only drink that swill for free. The best value are 19.2 ounce cans of Voodoo Ranger Hazy IPA (7.5 abv), Imperial IPA (9.0 abv), and Imperial Juicy IPA (9.5 abv); I had at least one of each of these during the Cure and definitely didn’t want to do that again.

Got there around 5:15 (Austin traffic is the worst) and immediately got in line for merch, wanting to be at my seat at 6 pm since that’s when the ticket said the show started. Not sure if there was a bigger merch area elsewhere in the building, but the shirt selection was poor and if I was one of the wrestlers on the show whose shirts weren’t available at the merch stand (which was pretty much all of them except the Acclaimed, FTR, and Britt Baker, since MJF wasn’t technically at the show) I would be a little pissed. I ended up buying a Texas-only AEW short which I already wish I hadn’t gotten, a Bryan Danielson pin, a Jamie Hayter coozie (a Texas necessity), and a sheet of stickers for my wife.

There is really nothing to eat in the immediate area of the Moody Center. It’s on the east side of the UT campus, by IH-35, south of the track and soccer stadium. I learned on Sunday that $8 for a warmed-over slice of cheese pizza would make me mad and also not effectively soak up all the beers, so I got a $13 “hot” chicken sandwich (not bad, not amazing) and $5 fries (total garbage), and a bottle of water ($5 for 12 ounces, seriously the Moody Center is offensively over-priced). I finish eating, go find my seat, and realize I have time to grab a beer and still be back by 6, so out I go for a local Kolsch ($16.50 for 4.9 abv).

The arena at this point is maybe 10% full, with some folks trickling in. The upper decks are screened off, which was not unexpected. The floor seating area is tiny. I spot the infamous Austin wrestling Jesus, who is a dude on a FB wrestling group I’m on. A group of dudes roll into the row behind me; these would become basically the anti-Playaz in my head over the course of the night. Loud, lots of really unfunny jokes and puns, smarky in an annoying way, and also huge fans of the Elite.

At 6:15, the Dapper Yapper walks out and starts to warm up the crowd. There is definitely a bit of an annoyed buzz that the show hasn’t started yet. Even those of us who knew that the YouTube shows were done expected something to start around 6. At 6:25, Roberts finally lets us know that there are going to be a couple of matches before Dynamite.

AT 6:30, the lights dim, and Nyla Rose’s music hits. I get excited because I enjoy Nyla and I also am ready for some wrestling. Then Marina Shafir walks out, and then YOUR HIGHNESS EMI SAKURA! I honestly didn’t think I would get to see my queen, so I am stoked. After they enter the ring, Willow’s music hits and I and maybe 10 other people get up to dance and clap along. Even better, SKYE BLUE is with her and I have to settle down a bit while also testing the zoom extents of my iPhone. The third member, a returning Abadon, who the harder core Austin crowd is excited for as a semi-local and the harder core AEW crowd is excited for as something of an AEW original. We get some early comedy with the heels being afraid of Abadon and not wanting to get tagged in, then Skye Blue enters and becomes our face-in-peril. Emi gets her in the corner and chops her and they are THE LOUDEST CHOPS I have ever heard. A comedy bit with Abadon coming over to scare Emi from doing her corner crossbody, but then Emi hits it anyway. Shafir does some of her awkward, dangerous throws. They do the house-style trios bit where people come in one at a time and hit their spot (Willow gets a BIG pounce), and eventually Willow gets a hot tag, hits a couple of power spots and wins. I get some good pictures of Skye Blue waving from the corner, and got to see several of my favorites, so I am happy.

The ring clears, and the Chaos Project music starts and out comes Serpentico! I look for Luther but he is not there, I guess the true dark matches aren’t worth paying for ringside support. Hook’s music hits and the growing crowd goes nuts, especially the kids. The dudes behind me are expecting a squash and for once that night I agree with them, and it looks that way early, but then Serp takes some control. I think I said elsewhere that Hook’s throws look impressive live, but his punches, which look great on TV), looked like shit. Like he’s throwing stiff-armed soupbones that stop several inches from the midsection. Maybe Serp was just leaning away from them. Anyway, eventually Hook gets his throws and his finisher and the crowd is happy.

I forgot to mention where my seats are. I am facing the ring looking towards the entrance ramp, in the fifth row above the floor seating. A really excellent view of the action, BUT the over-the-ring lights that are facing into the crowd are right in my eyes if I’m not looking down slightly, even with my hat pulled low. So that’s annoying and also a little hot. Only complaint about seats.

Rush, Preston Vance, and Jose come out to promo their match for the live crowd and get some cheap heel heat. Nothing great, nothing bad other than Vance saying “like my friend JR says ‘Let’s Go Sooners’” which got some boos but also is a botch of “Boomer Sooner”. Also, UT is on break right now, so there were not nearly as many students as there would be if this were April. Which might also explain why the side behind the hard cameras was nearly empty.

Somewhere in here, or maybe earlier Justin Roberts asked if there was anyone here for the first time, and while there are a number of people who clap/raise their hands he finds a kid somewhere between 5 to 8 years old and asks his name. The crowd does a game of telephone to let Justin know that it’s Miles, and then we get a huge Miles chant.

I take the opportunity to run back to concessions and grab myself another $16.50 kolsch and empty myself of the previous one. One good thing about Moody Center is there a ton of self-serve concession spots where you can grab a can of beer, scan in self-checkout, have an ID check (where they also open the can for you), and be on your way in like 90 seconds.

Justin Roberts introduces the announcers, then Tony Khan is next, thanking us for being there, saying they’re excited for the new arena, the show is going to be great, etc. He leaves with about 30 seconds to start and the crowd is getting pretty hyped even though most people away from the hard camera side are still in their seats.

 

[JLowe]

Part 2: Dynamite!

Spoiler

We start with Wardlow, and there are chants. Christian is out to a huge amount of heel heat. We get a brawl and instead of a table we get a ladder from under the ring, which gets a pop. The backdrop onto the ladder in the corner looked like a big nasty bump from my seat (dudes behind me laughing saying it’s an aluminum foil ladder, like no it’s not an industrial strength ladder but that was just a big dude taking a big bump and bending a ladder). Christian’s finisher on the ladder also looked good, Wardlow came close to hitting his arm in a bad spot.

It’s Orange Cassidy! It’s Darby Allin! I am excited, such that I fail to get video of Darby skating to the ring! Two of my favorites, and they’re wrestling some guys that they’ve had good singles matches with and who crack me up. I don’t think Taiga and Big Bill were getting the respect from the live crowd that they deserve. We get an excellent match, lots of storytelling with OC’s injuries and fatigue along with Bill and Lee doing some cheating and stooging. I don’t recall getting the Taiga guitar spot but his dance got huge heat. The stereo topes were fun to see live. I did get video of the coffin drop spot, while also enjoying it in the moment, so yay me! The finishing segment was a lot of fun although a little hard to keep up with live. Props to OC for continuing to sell the bad hand on the Orange Punch.

We see the backstage encounter on the arena screens. The anti-Playaz are huge Bucks fans and really hate Moxley and Yuta and I don’t think it’s in the “they are dastardly heels” sense. I am one of maybe 20 BCC fans in the entire arena. I mark for the car spot, and for a Bucks beatdown.

Another backstage segment with Wardlow and Arn, and we get a ladder match for the PPV. Sure, fine, whatever.

ANOTHER backstage segment and it’s hard to hear OC, but we get the gist eventually.

During commercial break, Exodus Prime is out and gets a mic and tries to get some cheap heat talking about how Dallas is better than Austin. No one is paying attention to him. I saw him at a local indy and he did the same basic schtick but he’s a decent worker in the ring. He was on at least one Dark.

It’s Sammy Guevara! It’s a total squash! I would’ve preferred an actual match as Prime isn’t bad. Sammy gets the mic and tries to make a face turn. Eh, I guess it works in the storyline of 3 guys against MJF, but Sammy is a better heel.

It’s Triple Jay and the gang. FTR jumps them and throws Satnam off the stage! I need to see that on TV, it was far from my view. They make it to the ring and some woman who I find out is Karen Jarrett comes in and hits a low blow. Dual guitar smash and a celebration with FTR’s belts. I’ve been pretty into the Jarrett run despite my concerns about him being on TV too much, centering big angles around himself, and leeching onto the big heat drawing people. My response to this was mixed because it’s kind of old-school but more just very TNA from the period where I fully gave up on it.

I am restless because I want wrestling. Instead, I get MORE BACKSTAGE STUFF. It’s better than a 20-minute promo showdown, but just barely. Tell me the story in the ring, please.

It’s the OUTCASTS! I had found out earlier that Hayter wasn’t cleared so it’s just a tag and fortunately Saraya is the odd woman out, but unfortunately it means we’re going to get another 3 on 2. But until that happens, we get an excellent, stiff match. Baker is outclassed here, but she is incredibly over. Ruby has somehow become the only person to benefit from this angle, really getting to show her stuff on the mic and in the ring. This is mostly 4 solid to great workers wrestling, and a very over face-in-peril, what more could you want? We get spray, we get Storm Zero, we get an Outcasts win. Really good match, just wish it had advanced the angle some instead of feeling like more of the same.

WE ARE BACKSTAGE AGAIN! OC says OK let’s have a Battle Royale for a title shot (I think that’s the stips). We cut to Tony Khan, who is excited to share the huge announcement of Collision, with absolutely no new information other than a bunch of Canadian dates and a tease of the first show location which I think even casuals already know.

It’s Jericho! The fans love singing Fozzy! I hate it! The song sucks and if he’s a heel we don’t sing along to his fucking theme song, that’s one of my old school opinions about what is ruining the business! It’s Roderick Strong! They brawl! They do some stuff in the ring! They go into the crowd, doing a bunch of spots on the stairs and a repeated spot on the railing. We all expect Jericho to get thrown down the stairs, but he doesn’t. They go into the hallways and then into a stairwell! They fight along a ledge but nothing crazy happens. Back in the halls and we have a brief concession stand brawl moment involving soft serve! I didn’t even know they had soft serve there! That part was great! They make their way outside and it’s Adam Cole Bay Bay (trust me, the entire crowd besides me says it). They fight into some landscaping and Hey guys, that’s not grass, those are succulents and they are NOT SOFT like the ice cream, they are surprisingly sharp. So I wince at the bump because that had to hurt. I wear long sleeves in the Texas summer to avoid scratching myself on all the sharp succulents that look like they would be soft nice grass. Strong gets the win, and I learn later that Aubrey scratched her arm up pretty good counting the pin.

It's Jungle Boy Jack Perry! More sing-along, and the fans actually wave their arms. I don’t because I am a curmudgeon who hates fun, or at least that song and not a fan of JBJP. It’s Rush! Watching this live, I was trying to decide if Rush was just being his normal dickish self or if he was taking some liberties. He was definitely laying in stiff and not giving Perry much of anything. I am a terrible person because I thoroughly enjoyed Rush laying it in. It was very clear that if he was going to lay down for someone he views as unworthy, he was going to make it hurt. Perry blades! NASTY throw to the floor, I didn’t see the landing but based on the crowd it was as bad as it sounded. Perry finally rallies back and CHEATS TO WIN! That is not a face move! The crowd is happy!

After the match, Vance jumps in but Darby and Sammy make the save and the main event of the PPV is advanced.

It’s MJF! I almost get into an argument with one of the anti-Playaz about why MJF sucks but then he slaps the mic from Renee and the segment ends.

It’s time for the main event! Ricky Starks gets to main event in his adopted hometown, where he trained and worked the local indies for years. And he gets to work against one of the best in the world (or, if you listen to the anti-Playaz, the very best wrestler in the world) Switchblade Jay White. There were a lot of Bullet Club shirts in the arena, the impact that faction and their shirt sales at Hot Topic had on US wrestling is pretty impressive.

I don’t remember a lot of the specific spots, I just remember this being a very fun match and the crows rallying around Ricky multiple times with him getting cutoff. He’s a great babyface, you want to root for him in the ring. I knew there was no way this would end clean, so I wasn’t disappointed with the chair DQ. Good build for the PPV here, and Starks looked like he belonged (unlike, say, Jack Perry earlier).

I’m sure y’all heard it on TV but the heat for Callis was fucking nuclear. The anti-Playaz behind me are very anti-Callis, kept making some particularly weird dumb joke that I thankfully don’t remember. But that was the loudest and most energetic the crowd was all night, I think a few people even stood up to boo. I was definitely disappointed in the somewhat lackadaisical crowd. The seats aren’t particularly comfortable and in fact are kind of small. I figured some of the more…sizable members of the crowd would relish any opportunity they could get to stand up.

Anyway, you can barely hear Callis over the crowd, and then people pop like mad when Kenny comes out. I, on the other hand, cheer and jump to my feet briefly when the BCC attacks, and I get a huge kick when Danielson says that BCC are the real Elite (which I should have seen as obvious foreshadowing, but I was just excited to see multiple BCC beatdowns). Bucks come out and the fans go crazy but it’s not enough. A few people start chanting “cowboy shit” and sure enough Hangman Page’s music and video hit and the crowd explodes. A teenage girl in front of me absolutely loses her shit and screams when Page runs out, and I was loving it. The reunited Elite run the BCC out, and we get a challenge for Anarchy in the Arena!! The anti-Playaz are singing the “Be Elite B.E. Elite” song and while it’s obnoxious it’s a fair response to what is happening so I can forgive for the first 30 seconds.

After the cameras are off, Page brings out some things to celebrate and says that maybe it’s time for Kenny to have his first drink of alcohol and hands him a beer. Kenny looks, hands it back, and says “no, I’m Straight Edge” which always makes me roll my eyes, like it was a hardcore thing years ago and it’s ok to just say you choose not to drink or do drugs. Anyway, Page said he came prepared just in case and hands Kenny a half-gallon of milk, which the fans notice is H.E.B. milk which leads to a huge chant of H.E.B. which was funny. I’m going to miss H.E.B. when I move to Philly, it’s a great grocery store. Anyway, Kenny does his usual post-show promo and ending which makes the crowd happy.

After this, they take their time getting things set up for Rampage, so I use the time to head back to concessions. I’m feeling a little frisky by now, so I pick up a Voodoo Ranger Hazy IPA (the 7.5 abv) for Rampage.

 

[The Natural]

Yes, please.

[For Great Justice]

Christian as TNT champ has so much crossover appeal. Don’t tell me he couldn’t seamlessly transition into the latest target of Stabler and Benson’s investigation and/or sleazy second in command bad guy foil for Ben Afleck’s accounting skills 

[Log]

3 minutes ago, For Great Justice said:

Christian as TNT champ has so much crossover appeal. Don’t tell me he couldn’t seamlessly transition into the latest target of Stabler and Benson’s investigation and/or sleazy second in command bad guy foil for Ben Afleck’s accounting skills 

Yes, this is all true. But the question remains: does he know drama?

[The Natural]

Put the TNT Championship on Christian Cage, build the belt back up, put young talent in with Christian Cage to learn from and then Cage puts over someone who needs the rub. Christian Cage is a top ten wrestler in AEW and top five all round talents who can do it all.

[Zakk_Sabbath]

Dying at Christian having to ask Ice T 'What about the DNA they found in her hootie?'

 

↑ actual line from yesterday's SVU that will never leave me

[JLowe]

21 minutes ago, The Natural said:

Put the TNT Championship on Christian Cage, build the belt back up, put young talent in with Christian Cage to learn from and then Cage puts over someone who needs the rub. Christian Cage is a top ten wrestler in AEW and top five all round talents who can do it all.

the guys behind me just kept making bad puns like "Hey Christian you lost your Edge" and saying that he's nothing...

[The Natural]

5 minutes ago, JLowe said:

the guys behind me just kept making bad puns like "Hey Christian you lost your Edge" and saying that he's nothing...

Kudos to you not doing a Con-Chair-To.

[The Natural]

Carrying on the Christian Cage love in, Christian Cage is a better heel than MJF.

[JLowe]

4 minutes ago, The Natural said:

Kudos to you not doing a Con-Chair-To.

I think it was around this point where I dubbed them the anti-Playaz in my head

[Zakk_Sabbath]

29 minutes ago, The Natural said:

Carrying on the Christian Cage love in, Christian Cage is a better heel than MJF.

There's probably no room/time to tell this story (right now, anyway) but i'd love to see a Christian/MJF program where Christian is as big of a prick heel as ever, but he's slowly sort of turned into the de-facto babyface where the crowd cheers him for cheating (ala Eddy in WWE) because MJF's character is such a shitbag.

Edit: Think 'wily veteran' late-era Flair stuff

Edited May 19, 2023 by Zakk_Sabbath

[Log]

40 minutes ago, JLowe said:

I think it was around this point where I dubbed them the anti-Playaz in my head

It is so rough having to sit by "clever" wrestling fans at a show.

I like Christian as TNT champ, too, but also worry about Wardlow losing the title again. I'm probably not as high on Wardlow as a lot of people are, but I do see what they see in him. He's just not been booked all that great since the MJF split.

[evidence]

52 minutes ago, Log said:

It is so rough having to sit by "clever" wrestling fans at a show.

I like Christian as TNT champ, too, but also worry about Wardlow losing the title again. I'm probably not as high on Wardlow as a lot of people are, but I do see what they see in him. He's just not been booked all that great since the MJF split.

I want a Christian TNT title run but I'm in the same boat about Wardlow losing again. Ideal situation, Wardlow wins the ladder match and then Christian pulls an Edge move and beats up (or has Luchasurus beat up) one of the people scheduled to be in the battle royal and is the surprise entrance to eliminate Orange Cassidy and win the International title. My problems with that scenario is that it would involve Orange Cassidy losing his championship and it would involve Christian wrestling another match after being in a ladder match. 

 

[porksweats]

36 minutes ago, evidence said:

I want a Christian TNT title run but I'm in the same boat about Wardlow losing again. Ideal situation, Wardlow wins the ladder match and then Christian pulls an Edge move and beats up (or has Luchasurus beat up) one of the people scheduled to be in the battle royal and is the surprise entrance to eliminate Orange Cassidy and win the International title. My problems with that scenario is that it would involve Orange Cassidy losing his championship and it would involve Christian wrestling another match after being in a ladder match. 

 

Solution: Battle Royale happens first, Christian wins and tries to become a double champ, loses but doesn't lose his new title because it was for the TNT title.

[JLowe]

How about MJF interferes and costs Wardlow his title as payback of sorts for last year? This allows Wardlow to chase MJF until the next PPV when MJF finally wrestles again, unites two of the biggest heels in the company, and gives a bunch of babyfaces mini-programs with Christian until Wardlow finally returns the favor and screws Christian out of the title?

[Brandon Bones]

Christian vs MJF is intriguing to me because AEW has already flirted with the idea of a face Max.  Those Long Island shows are watched by the nationwide audience.  The seed is kinda planted.  
 

MJF really wouldn’t even have to change anything about his character.  You set up for the match as a home game in LI.  But the only difference in build up is we are just given a reason to take his side in this particular issue.  Maybe Max could sorta adopt the tone of those Arn promos during those rare occasions where the Horsemen were faces.

”Be careful what you ask for!  We aren’t nice guys!”

Then the week after it’s back to fuck you and saber rattling.

Edited May 19, 2023 by Brandon Bones
How bout that Dynamite show! Sorry rant off topic.

[Technico Support]

5 hours ago, Zakk_Sabbath said:

Dying at Christian having to ask Ice T 'What about the DNA they found in her hootie?'

 

↑ actual line from yesterday's SVU that will never leave me

Ice T going from “Cop Killa” to making more money playing a TV cop than he ever did in music is just one of life’s beautiful ironies.

[tbarrie]

4 hours ago, JLowe said:

How about MJF interferes and costs Wardlow his title as payback of sorts for last year? This allows Wardlow to chase MJF until the next PPV when MJF finally wrestles again, unites two of the biggest heels in the company, and gives a bunch of babyfaces mini-programs with Christian until Wardlow finally returns the favor and screws Christian out of the title?

The problem with that plan is that Wardlow is presumably the guy who takes the title off MJF, and I don't think they'll be ready to do that for another six months or so.

[Ace]

Is Los Ingobernables AEW the most useless stable ever? Is SAP more over?

 

 

[The Green Meanie]

The biggest takeaway I had from this episode was Hangman turned his back on The Dark Order. They were there for him the whole time, didn't ask for anything, and he deserted them. Now he's just as big of a Worst Friend(s) as the rest of them.

[Casey]

Dark Order defected to ROH and left Hangman behind, so they’re the shitty friends.

[tbarrie]

11 hours ago, The Green Meanie said:

The biggest takeaway I had from this episode was Hangman turned his back on The Dark Order. They were there for him the whole time, didn't ask for anything, and he deserted them. Now he's just as big of a Worst Friend(s) as the rest of them.

They didn't show up when the BCC told Hangman that no one loved him and then poked his eye out. But yeah, just shuffling the Hangman/Dark Order friendship off screen is pretty bad writing.