Robert C

They oughta find a way to design it as a crew mission - your crew has to claim a spot to use as their HQ - kind of like how you claimed the club as your HQ for the bank heist in Vice City.

That's actually what I like about it. It's gotten me killed a few times, but I've picked up quite a few kills, and even a few bounty collections, within a few seconds of spawning. My habit of selling a car at the downtown LSC before logging off means that I frequently end up spawning in interesting situations when I start up again. Doesn't always end well, but I've got to the point now where I can usually hold my own. Only got on very briefly, but did get to do one ridiculous DM. 3 on 2, with my team having the 3. It was on the Mansion map, which is one of my favorites, because I know one really good spot. Wound up with 10 kills and no deaths. Final score was us losing 10 to 16. My two teammates combined for 0 kills and 16 deaths. Score one for incompetence.

In the right circumstances, it's a blast. I'm currently what would be called a "Freemode Wimp," in that I don't set a pinky toe in Freemode until I've got a decent amount of crew at my side, but there's something fun about watching three or four green-outlined dots closing in on a white dot while the music from "Jaws" plays in my head. Before having server troubles and getting booted into our own rooms, Mel, Mis and I spent a few minutes yesterday showing some fellow the back of our hands. He fluke killed Mel a couple of times and never got me or Mis. It was one of those chronic problems while playing with the crew - I'd have him lined up in my sniper scope, getting ready to pull the trigger, when someone else would take him out. Am I being a bully? Sure, I guess, but man, I've been bullied in this game to the point of sheer absurdity. It feels good to be on the other end of it once in a while. And we're judicious - I've heard of players who target the lower-level guys in a room. We go after anyone with one of those really high levels, just to try to show them cheaters don't win. Oh, and J.T., apparently the poster's an idiot and I'm an idiot for quoting him. Apparently there's still a way for people to get into your garage with a weapon, but I can't even find any new mentions/YouTube videos of the way to do that post-1.12. I'm gonna quit posting heads ups about new glitches until I actually see a YouTube video about it. I think you can shoot inside your apartment with a glitch and you can also shoot inside someone else's apartment, but you have to be invited. Do people still invite people to their apartments these days? Rockstar should make "crew clubhouses," a buyable gathering place for crews online, with a garage for everyone to park their cars in and stupid ways for crews to kill time like maybe darts and arm wrestling, maybe a firing range. I can't count the number of times I've watched some white dot bastard's head explode through a sniper scope because melraz was faster than me. Apartment glitches are the least annoying type of glitches to me because I never go there. I've got it set to spawn at my last location, and maybe go to my apartment once a week. Parking garage glitchers can go die in a hole.

That was one of my highlights of GTA online. right there with melraz's indignation after I got him with the sticky bombed tanker truck. I generally give thumbs up to user created races, unless they're just awful. The only thumbs down I can remember was that one where you have to drive over shipping containers placed up in the air. It may be the same one that stout and mis played today. Piss on that. I'm a much harder grader on user created DMs. They're much easier to get wrong than races, at least to me. I've seen very few user created DMs that I actually liked. I like Mark's, particularly if I can get a sniper rifle. I think Paradise Alley is user created, and that's one of my favorites. Tanks in user DMs are an automated thumbs down for me.

JT and I had a pretty nice tumbling mirror sequence going on in the middle of the Commune DM last night, till somebody had to ruin the fun by shooting me in the back of the head. It looked like we were doing some sort of rhythmic gymnastics team event, except we had replaced the ribbons and hoops with shotguns.

Dan and I were talking about making an underwater DM after we got into a shootout with somebody inside a shallow lake in freemode. I've been to lazy to do it. Not sure if Dan has done anything. There are a couple of places you could do it.

I remember that one. moongirl was on our team, driving like a mad woman to avoid the buzzard that one of the randoms had called in. I think that was Crooked Cop

I forgot about duckonquack. That was good. wombatjuice was nice as well. The Lance Armstrong thing has me thinking there ought to be an exception to the don't shoot bicyclists rule - any bicyclist in a yellow shirt should be shot on sight. That may only apply to me though, since we're inundated with Armstrong shit here, and half the cyclists on the roads think they're him.

Shit, I forgot the best username ever last night. poopindatoilet. He and his buddy were kicking my ass pulling the reverse trick in an Entity till I managed to get an RPG into it. Then melraz killed them a bunch, and I got a few in as well. he sent us both a gg text before taking off, and both of us complimented him on his awesome username. We parted with a feeling of mutual respect - a brotherhood of warriors separated by fate and crew as we traveled the urban wastelands of LS.

Well, nobody was coming after us, so I thought I'd drum up a little interest. I'm a good boy though. I still get to the $2000 bonuses that tel me so. This sums up the "Randoms vs. Robert" experience. I've been known to blow up a car or two, but I'm an amateur compared to Dr. Deathmatch. I wish I had the common sense to pull off putting a sticky bomb on a car and blowing it up when the player gets back in it, but I never remember to do that. I usually just like blowing up the shiny too much. My 11-hour workday made me miss all the fun. Edit: Mel, what level was this dood? So you never talked to him? Sounds like a kid. Funny thing was, melraz killed him a shitload more times than I did, and in hilarious ways too. multiple iterations of the old lure guy into a car, jump out, shoot him trick. Him sticky bombing the guy's getaway plane was the best though.

I got my LSPD tint for the assault MG while we were tangling with that last bunch after I got back online. I suggested some reverse psychology to melraz with one guy that he'd been fucking with forever and killing in every horrible way imaginable. He sent the guy a request for positive feedback. I was figuring that would have the opposite effect, and the guy would finally give melraz his beloved negative rep, but it backfired - instead the guy decided melraz was his big brother or something. My favorite part was when he started complaining to melraz about me: random guy: your friend keeps killing me melraz: well, go kill him back random guy: he blew up my car (which I technically hadn't done yet, though there was a sticky on the back of it) melraz: go get another one random guy: he blew up all of them Though it is way easier to set personal bests when it is a straight race Last night was probably the closest I have ever come to joining the nonsense in freemode. I was signing off and I hear melraz yell "FUCK YOU CHASEY BOY!!! COME GET SOME YOU BASTARD!!!!" and I was like "aww... hell..." and then JT goes "Guess I am not signing off..." Not that I would have been very helpful due to all the tears in my eyes from all the laughing I was doing I was cracking up listening to melraz' commentary. I think he had at least half a dozen kills while I was still stuck in the cloud. I think he pretty much quoted Hudson's final line from Aliens - "Come on! Come on! Come and get it, baby! Come on! I don't got all day! Come on! Come on! Come on you bastard! Come on, you too! Oh, you want some of this? Fuck you! "

Yeah, I've done that DM twice now. There are actually a bunch of them - all almost identical and all apparently made by the same guy, Noshi or something similar. If you kick off a random DM now, you've probably got about a 25% chance of ending up in one of these. I always leave them immediately, but one time I couldn't leave before the match started, so I stuck around long enough to see what was what. For those that haven't seen them, they maps are small, enclosed areas that are rendered inescapable by stacked shipping containers and barbed wire fences. The forced weapon is a melee weapon, and there are no pickups. There is a buzzard that you can reach by climbing, and whoever manages to get into that can kill everybody else at will with impunity. I stuck around for about a minute and then kicked back XBOX home. I don't think some folks know how it's supposed to work, though. I got stuck into one over the weekend where all weapons were enabled. That becomes a completely different beast. That's the one I mentioned earlier today where I had more than 100 kills in 20 minutes, and only came in third.

You will never see a smoother theft of a cargobob from Fort Zancudo. Yeah, I've done a few of those, and can't remember one ever going that well. Of course, I screwed us up for it by getting my ass shot off twice in quick succession when we got to the docks. I think maybe I should have waited to start launching rockets till I hit the yellow circle. That might've kept the cops off of us. Before Docks to Stocks came along, JT, Dolfan and I declared "The park is ours" in Little Seoul, and proceeded to wipe out everybody that had spawned there after a DM. There was nobody even close by the time we were done. Suckers need to develop a healthy fear of the heavy sniper. Found a couple servers with big groups in one place on public servers this weekend, and for some reason I was rocking on the sniper rifle. Most of the map was down at the airport for the first one. I'd sniped half a dozen guys before I realized that the server was basically one crew plus me. I kicked up a hornet's nest with that one, but still wound up about even. Weird thing was that sticky bombs wouldn't explode on that server. I tried 3 and none went off. They worked fine on others. Second big group was all down by the beach, apparently just hanging out. I probably wound up with about 40 sniper kills on them. One guy was in passive, but couldn't seem to remember that passive doesn't work if you're in a vehicle. Another one kept trying to run me down in his Banshee. I shot him out of it 3 or 4 times, then set off the sticky on the back when he decided to make a run for it. Best kill though was sniping 2 guys off of a jetski with one heavy sniper round. I played the world's most ridiculous DM as well. 20 minutes, 100+ kills. And I came in 3rd out of 7 people. It was basically spawn, shoot, die, repeat.

If somebody wants to build up their strength, easiest way is just to do unarmed only DMs. There are a shit ton of them out there - about half the random ones I get end up being those. They're boring of course, but you can increase your strength really quickly,

I'm the same way about my Mesa. I almost never use it. I just like knowing it's there.

I must've joined right after that, because I remember wondering why y'all were singing Alice in Chains songs. Any time there's a bunch of us in a mission where we're all lining up sniper shots, I always get McManus' Old McDonald bit from Usual Suspects.going through my head.

No chasing in that one, if I remember correctly. Just steal two parked cars from a mansion and take them back. Hardest thing is losing the wanted level. Of course, if the clown that tries to hack the gate can't get it open for 20 minutes, and the game won't let anybody other than him try after he's started, then you're still screwed. That's one of only 2 times I've intentionally failed a mission - in that case to put us all out of our misery.

I'd guess the Fuck Simeon sentiment is pretty much universal. Lamar is a close second though. There's a reason everybody spams Martin and Lester jobs. Even Ron has a few good ones.

Sorry I had to bail out on y'all yesterday. Wife's birthday trumps GTA though. I got into a server with JT and melraz who were surrounded and deeply into kill all white dots mode. They had somebody cornered in a parking garage, and I was right outside it taking cover after blowing up a personal vehicle inside the impound lot, when I saw somebody in GSF colors run past. I fired about 10 shots before I realized "Shit! That's JT!" He got me back later with an accidental insta-kill punch to the back of the head while were both trying to take out another guy. Apparently everybody in this game has mastered some kind of Shaolin Fist of Death, because a basic punch is equivalent to a headshot from a Barrett M82. I was on the server for maybe 20 minutes, blew up 6 personal vehicles, and still managed to get my bonus for good behavior. Last 2 dudes were tough though. Both were up on me when we left to start doing missions.

I got bored of the brown jeans, so I decided to swap to running shorts and the Los Santos Belle t-shirt. Paired it with purple heels, instead of my usual skate shoes. It's a rather fetching look. I got completely baffled in the first DM Tuesday because JT had switched from a black leather jacket to a brown one. My brain just couldn't adjust.

In order to get the Numero Uno achievement you have to come in first in: - A Deathmatch - A Team Deathmatch (some say you don't have to be Team MVP, but they aren't sure) - A Vehicle Deathmatch - A Standard Race - A GTA Race - A Rally Race as a driver or a navigator - An Air Race - A Sea Race - Arm Wrestling - Darts (can be set to minimum levels) - Tennis (at least a single set) - Golf (can be set to play just one hole) - Complete all waves of Survival (some say with max kills, others say you just have to live) - Gun Range Shooting Challenges (some say one challenge is enough, others say you have to win all three; Target Grid and the others which I forget) - One Parachute Jump (some say can be done solo) - One gang attack and get max kills (can be done solo) I know you have won a vehicle deathmatch because Robert and I personally thew the helicopter deathmatch to you and Mark during one Jobber Thursday. A lot left to go for me then. I've got the DMs, and I got the last race on the last job day. I won at darts once, and finally lucked into a parachute win. Still need golf, tennis, arm wrestling, and the shooting range. Only way I'm winning those is via a deliberate job. I might be able to lose at tennis against an empty court

But you never change your outfit or your hair. You, Rippa, and Dolfan make me feel bad because I don't wear suits and prefer the urban commando full battle rattle of leather jackets, jeans, and work boots. I am way too OCD to not change up my outfit before heading out of my apartment. I don't change my physical appearance because I hate just about every hairstyle and beard at the barber shop. Oddly enough, I've never run into another character that looks quite like mine. I guess the soccer mom turned goth sideshow freak look is out of fashion this year.

The one time I tried to shoot them with a rocket launcher, I shot 3 DAMN ROCKETS at them and missed with them all. I could hear them laughing in my head. It reminded me of the time I was whizzing about 20 rockets all around Rippa during that Capture, who I couldn't hit with a rocket EVEN THOUGH HE WAS IN A DAMN GREYHOUND BUS. There are times where I'm like "God, man, could you be any worse at this?" I have plenty of those moments. Accidentally blowing myself, and my personal vehicle, up with a sticky bomb after I got too close to the armored car I was trying to hit yesterday was one. Or when a guy ran me over in reverse 6 times in a row a few days ago without me ever managing to get a kill on him.

I'll go after lower rank folks intentionally sometimes, and I've run into a few that can go (likely higher lever folks on their second characters), but this guy seemed genuinely inept. Anybody that goes after me is fair game, and sometimes I do succumb to melraz's kill all white dots bloodlust. I'm completely useless at grenades, but I've become pretty damn good with sticky bombs. I end up using those like grenades in a lot of cases. They're much easier because the timing and eventual landing point is much more predictable. I'm not much good with the rocket launcher either, though I did get the guy who was down in the tunnel armed with a minigun with my RPG yesterday. It was his own damn fault though. He was standing next to his giant, lime green sandking. I couldn't see him, but I could see the sandking. I ran in, did a combat roll to dodge the minigun rounds, shot the RPG at the sandking, and ran back out. Either the RPG or the explosion from the sandking took him out. I don't think I could've pulled that off if he'd been in there without the truck. He wasn't very bright though. First kill on him was when I shot him in the top of the head as he lumbered along below me with his minigun. He brought the wrong weapon to that fight - made him an easy target, and he had no way to auto target me.

I spawned into a server at one point and had 2 people right next to me. Took them both out and blew up both cars. One took off, but I got the other a bunch of times. I was taking cover, being super careful, and sniping him at long range. After a while I looked at the rankings, and noticed he was level 4. Went from feeling like a badass to feeling like a dickhead in an instant. I'm taking long range shots with the heavy sniper, and the poor guy only had a standard pistol.