caley

It's one of those MST3K/Rifftrax where it's kinda awkward cuz they can make fun of things but can't really mock the plot/storyline. It's kinda the same as the Rifftrax of 'It's A Wonderful Life' cuz they poke fun at a couple things but you can tell they all LOVE the movie. Like in 'Hamlet' you can make fun of the acting, the performances but you can't be like "What a dumb plot twist!"

I actually recall liking Shaft in Africa but it was the least of the Shaft movies. To be fair, I'm not the best judge, score aside, I actually liked Shaft's Big Score better than Shaft!

Also, since I don't ONLY watch bad movies, I also watched 'Shield For Murder' which is a solid little film noir. Edmund O'Brien plays a crooked cop who bumps off a bookie's runner, steals his cash, then tries to stay one step ahead of his fellow cops, including the young cop he mentored. Best watched on the TCM Noir Alley broadcast because Eddie Muller will go into great detail about how many actors from this film ended up in significant long-running TV shows (A very young, very pretty, very blonde (!) Morticia Adams for instance...). The funniest one was the police captain, as I just saw him last week in the extraordinarily poor 'The Girl in Lovers Lane' (But at least I watched the MST3K version) and I thought he was kinda better than his supporting cast and wondered if he ever got into anything good.

But, can you/will you be able to watch 'Ernest Goes to Africa'? That's been a step too far for even me up to this point.

I tried to watch 'Ernest in the Army' this week (Hey, I like 'Ernest Saves Christmas' and 'Ernest Scared Stupid' enough to watch them semi-annually around their respective holidays!) and thought "Maybe it's stupid but entertaining enough..." I...I didn't make it. The movie is SO bad. The above two (I haven't seen Ernest Goes to Jail or Ernest Goes to Camp recently enough to properly rate them but they were amazing when I was like 8!) are stupid and silly, but they're tame enough that you can watch them with kids (Well 'Stupid' is maybe a little scary). So, Ernest in the Army is in that same vein, but mines a LOT of humor out of parodying...military spending and publicity-hungry generals which is a real weird track to take for a kids film. Anyways,the overt anti-Arabian racism is actually rather quaint as it's post Gulf Storm racism but pre-9/11! So, Ernest wants to drive the big vehicles in the military and his friend urges him to join the reserves so he can drive the weekend and they don't have to go into battle and just party and drink beer (AGAIN a weird thing for what is, ostensibly, a kids film; I almost think they were trying push past family friendly and go for the audiences that weren't QUITE old enough to go see Adam Sandler movies). Ernest does. A middle-Eastern dictator name Toofootti (Perhaps a joke on Tofutti ice cream substitute...perhaps a complete coincidence) invades a made-up country and they decide to send Ernest's reserves to war. Some UN general hates him, he's in love with some local newswoman who ends up reporting on the war (A nice thing about Christmas and Stupid is that one NEVER has to think about Ernest's love live...unfortunately they don't stick to that formula here). I laughed at Ernest trying to walk through the desert with a canteen of chocolate milk. I smiled at Ernest getting electrocuted by an electric fence. I looked at the clock and saw there was 25 minutes left and I...could not do it.

You know if you had told me watching 2018 ROH that one of them would have a world title runs and be a steady upper-card wrestler for WWE, it probably would have taken me a long time to get to Punishment Martinez. I thought he had a good look and potential, but not much more than that. Good for him, though!

I didn't know about this, Thanks! I should know better than to leave the chat on...but I did and it greatly annoyed me. There was a Raw dark match between Erin O'Grady (Crash Holly) and Vic Grimes (with long hair!), I know I was into wrestling in that period so it wasn't completely something I didn't know about, but the chat going on is all "Who are these guys?" "Guys wrestling on the weekend to pay the bills! LOL", "LOL so true!", "Thats lowkey", "It's Nunzio", "Yeah that's Nunzio." Okay, I know Crash Holly's not the MOST recognizable wrestler in the world (pre dyed hair) but he looks NOTHING like either Nunzio or, epspecially, Loki. I don't have a problem with "Who are these guys?" "I don't know, before my time." That's perfectly valid! But don't ANSWER if you don't KNOW! Hahaha, sorry for ranting but that's one of those modern internet things that drive me bananas. If you don't know something, say "I don't know" or just, you know, shut up!

That Darby-Kidd match was hilarious. Darby trying to drive into Gabe with his crapmobile. The ether and locking him in the trunk to drive into a hill about 20 feet away was hysterical. It was just missing Darby rolling out of the car and exclaiming "It jumped out right in front of me!" Gabe Kidd having to play dead for an interminable length of time, complete with Darby not quite fascinating the straightjacket on Kidd so Kidd had to pretend like he couldn't take it off for the rest of the match (Knowing what we know of Kidd...he might have struggled with the mechanics of a t-shirt so maybe it wasn't that far-fetched). I also greatly enjoyed Kidd saying something like "Making good memories" as if he was a Batman villain trying to show how crazy he was. Also the "Pushing Up Daisies" thing on the inside of the coffin was so silly, but even funnier when he turned the coffin around late in the match and some guy in the crowd reads it outloud at an extraordinary volume: "PUSHING UP DAISIES!" Also, why did the cameras keep focusing on that one knothole in the coffin? They zoomed in on it 2-3 times, were we supposed to see something, was Gabe supposed to stick something through. It was weird. Mina-Marina was all right. The NHB stip seemed to only be there to give Mina any chance of winning. Enjoyed Maring throwing her socks at the announcers. Liked Davis-Speedball. The Jurassic Bus thing was weird. Like Jungle Boy carrying the knife is supposed to make the goofy Jungle Boy moniker more menacing, but then they make a vignette where he feeds squirrels and makes his one-armed friend drive his bus?! Also the fact that they left the cameras on Perry and the Bucks an extra 3-4 seconds too long while they stood there looking...serious (?!) gave it a Werner Herzog-esque awkwardness to the proceedings. I think my biggest beef with AEW storytelling is that guys feud, try to get the other fired/murdered and then turn and bury all that in the past. Like Perry and the Bucks hated each other, were trying to ruin each others careers, then all of a sudden "Two of my oldest friends in the business!" Moxley is cruel, mean and trying to destroy this company, then he's on commentary and Tony is cracking jokes with him. He tries to repeatedly kill Darby Allin but he wins a few matches in that tournament, and he's back to being cheered. Now Ospreay's back, and you're supposed to boo him again. I know it's wrestling, but i'd just like some consitency and not guys bouncing back and forth from blood feuds to alliances.

I wonder if this has anything to do with stupid Logan Paul's stupid feud against stupid football players. Though it did have that one great moment when Le'veon Bell went on a multi-tweet mental breakdown how every football player would throttle every pro wrestler ever and said how any football player would "throttle" Stone Cold Steve Austin to which someone replied "Well he's sixty years old now". But even better was as he went on this endless tirade, Bell talked about how he would "throttle" Seth Rogen (First response: "Uh I think you mean Seth Rollins.").

Is Moose's back genuinely injured? Because as a guy who hurt his back about a month back (Sciatica is the worst!), there were a couple moves (a big boot and a pump kick IIRC) where Moose could/would not his get his leg up the way one normally does. Then, at another point, he dropped his chair (or maybe some other weapon) on the ground and looked at it, annoyed, and you could see him seriously contemplating if it was worth picking up before gingerly leaning over and grabbing it. And I recognized that exact pattern from dropping the remote control on the ground and wondering if I could just leave the TV on whatever it was on, rather than bend over to pick up the remote. But then a few minutes later, he's getting powerbombed on the bottom of a stood-up trashcan! So is he really good at selling, or is he just gutting out an injury?

I say this as someone with a staunch record of heterosexuality, but is it just me, or is that David Finlay one HANDSOME man?! The group needs a little work, Finlay and Connors come across kinda same-y, Kidd comes across kind of odd not so much dangerous, none of them are really projecting a star-level personality, and the name sucks. I get that they wanted to drop/de-emphasize the "War" word (Seeing as the US is in one!) but they should've used the opportunity to finetune the whole name until something fit a little better and was less generic/silly as The Dogs (Unless they start acting like dogs in which case I would be all-in!). I think the biggest problem is they're all kind of serious, dangerous wrestler and need someone to break that up a tad. You know who would totally change the narrative/impression of that team?! Juice Robinson! Juice starting trouble before being saved by his serious buddies would probably be a better use of him than him occasionally teaming with one of the Gunns while everyone else is on the IR.

I spent way too much time last night thinking that the Death Riders needed a sort of apprentice/young boy/low man on the totem pole so that Yuta doesn't always have to take the losses and trying to connect a wrestler to the group that I ended up with an endless loop of Danny Garcia's Death Rider theme stuck in my head along with a headache. I actually think (with the exception of Pac), that all the Death Rider themes are really excellent. Also, I never did match a young wrestler to the group.

I've always been a little puzzled by AEW's use of Rush. He comes out, looks like a badass. Destroys some guys. Disappears from TV. Comes back, destroys some guys. Disappears. Builds up a bit, loses to someone above his paygrade. Disappears. Comes back, destroys some guys. But he always stays really OVER. He's got that Mark Henry-esque thing of no matter how many times he's been beaten, he comes out and there's a definite murmur in the audience like "This guy is going to kill somebody". I'd like to see him get someone to talk for him (Stokely? Someone else?) that represents him but that he can kind of bully so when his second is talking too much, he basically grabs him, tells him to shut up and yells out the "Get the horns!" catchphrase and give him a nice, real run (Maybe Ricochet's title? I don't remember what it's called). I think he could be doing a lot more meaningful stuff than holding the ROH tag titles. He should be way higher up the card, a threat for the world title and someone who sometimes holds the secondary titles. Also, I really liked everything about that insane four-way tag match. Some moves and routines I'd generally never seen before, Dalton Castle flipping out on commentary. Good stuff.

That Thekla segment last night was masterful. She comes out badmouthing Stat, fumbles a little bit given she's not speaking her native language, morons begin to "What?" everything and she just powers through it, even getting a chant for "Toxic ass", and crowd popping for everything down the stretch. Whoever is producing her stuff (But some of it, like when she repeated "But! But! But!" wile getting into the ring is I think just natural instincts) is really hitting it out of the park. She reminds me a little of early WWE Alexa Bliss (but a better wrestler) where the crowd is a little middling on her, but she's so sure of herself on the mic and as a character that the crowd is constantly won over. On the opposition, whoever is doing Statlander's stuff is doing the reverse. The sunglasses and leather combo and not speaking until she has to stuff is...bad. I enjoyed the crowd popping for Thekla making fun of it. It sorta seems like ever since the sorta heel turn, everything they've tried with her just hasn't worked. Her wrestling is fine, her matches are fine. Her promos are dreadful, her character work is sub-par. It's like someone has it out for her. When she showed up to warn ThunderRosa last week, it was maybe the dorkiest character-work since Zack Ryder as John Cena's cuckolded friend. I think the biggest thing is they seem to play up one thing: Calling her Stat Daddy, the alien/space stuff, the cosplay stuff, the silent sunglasses deal etc. etc. then just drop it after a couple weeks and try something else. I think they just need to stick with one gimmick/character for a while, and give her more of an edge, make her less of a goody-goody.

Aside from finding Kidd's wrestling kinda...dull...I really HATE his entrance as well. The faux-epic drum intro/theme song, the War Ready nickname, and ESPECIALLY the stupid crawling thing he does. It does not work for me on any level. He looks less "Whoa this guy is crazy, better watch out!" and more "This guy eats postage stamps." This entrance, while still retaining the nickname/music, at least works a little better for me.

My (not exactly favourite but more weird variety of guys I'm sort of proud of seeing): Great Muta, Big Show, Christopher Daniels, Rey Mysterio, Juventud Guerrera, Asian Cougar, Brock Lesnar, Chelsea Green, Val Venis (post WWE/pre Christian culture warrior/mid breakdown), Jim Neidhart, Greg Valentine, Vince McMahon, Tank Abbott, Tony Kozina, Black Dragon, Zack Gowen, Tajiri, Eddie Gurrero, Vampiro, Davey Boy Smith Jr, John Cena, The Undertaker, Goldberg, Booker T, and Count Monsterod Von Hugenstein.

Having not read the SRS article, there's also a Chris-Jericho-likes-to-work-the-dirtsheets possibility to this. He talked in his book about when he was coming back to WWE, how he met with Dixie Carter, then used a backchannel or some such to message one of news sites about how he'd seen Chris Jericho talking with Dixie Carter to improve his negotiating position (He also copped to writing to one when he was starting out as a wrestler praising this young wrestler named Chris Jericho he'd just seen to the moon!). So it's entirely possible Jericho has put either his WWE return or his AEW contract freezing out there to either garner sympathy, throw some doubts into where or when he returns, or just mess with people.

I think the Vince love of MLK was genuine in his own addled brain. One of my favourite stories was in one of Jericho's books when they had guest hosts and they booked Al Sharpton to host. And Jericho was a heel at the time, so he thought he'd be heeling on him or something, but instead Vince wrote this GLOWING speech about Sharpton and made Jericho read it out and wouldn't let him change a word. Jericho thought it made no sense because he was a bad guy and Vince was agog at this idea because it was AL SHARPTON! And Vince loved MLK so much that he was so excited to have someone somewhat connected to him that he wrote a segment where MVP and Jericho traded praise over him. (As an aside, reading up on this (I'd pretty much checked out on WWE at this point IIRC), but the segment with him and the Bella Twins sounds way more entertainingly bad!)

I searched "Kelowna" (Where Nitro took place that week): Nada. I seached "Kamloops" (Where I BELIEVE they taped Thunder): Nada. I searched "Thunder": Nothing. I finally searched Juggernaut and scrolled through his matches until I found it! So it wasnt working good for me either.

I haven't seen the show in years, but checking it out on Cagematch, it would appear to be Juggernaut (big hefty dude), Ladies Choice (long-haired guy doing an HBK-esque gimmick), Michelle Starr (dyed blonde-haired guy playing a homosexual gimmick), and Rockford 2000 (I saw this guy wrestle probably 10+ times and all I can remember about him is that he had some Matt Hardy-style pants!).

I watched 'The Ballad of Wallis Island' this week and it's probably my favourite thing I've watched in 2+ years. Tim Key plays a lottery winner who uses his winnings to bring his favourite folk duo to his near-empty island for a private concert. It's really funny, really sweet, has lots of great music and scenery. I would not have guessed that the goofball from 'Taskmaster' and 'Alan Partridge' (And I think he's on the new newspaper iteration of The Office but I haven't really watched it...) would almost make me cry with his performance. I think it's on Prime (at least if you're in Canada) and I genuinely loved it.

Who is the worst actor you have ever seen?! I'm not talking like "Oh that guy from The Room!" or "Adam Sandler makes terrible comedies!" or "I HATE this guy's politics/private life so him!" but genuinely the WORST working actor/actress you've seen. I was thinking about this because I watched a Mamie Van Doren gangster movie and she's, you know, pretty bad. If she's not acting sultry...well she can't really handle much else (She was supposed to get angry in one scene and it was no different from the scenes where she was flirting or being sentimental!). And tonight i watched 'Queen of Space' with Zsa Zsa Gabor and it occurred to me watching it, that it might have been the worst "professional" acting job I've ever seen (Like I've watched a bunch of MST3K/Rifftrax/Drug, Teen, Black exploitation films with people you almost never see again. So, like, Torgo is pretty bad, but I don't think he's really a pro!). It's actually quite stunning: she's a Venus alien woman who has a Hungarian accent despite none of the other Venusians having accents and there are scenes when you genuinely can't tell if she's a on the humans side because it sounds like she's lying but it's just bad acting. Even scenes which require her to walk into frame, she does this weird, slow exaggrated steps or her dresses are so tight she can barely move at all. She has the exact same tone when she's surprised, happy, angry, sad, and victorious. I'm sure I'll remember someone after, but genuinely, tonight, I think she might be the worst professional actor i have ever seen (Or at last performance!).

You know I thought the same thing! That he had passed away about a year or two ago... but I remember it SPECIFICALLY being him, not someone else from the same time period. Isn't that odd?!

Another WWE-ish thing was the introduction of the strap to create the gimmick match. All of a sudden, Thekla randomly whipped Statlander with the strap on Saturday so that Statlander could challenge her to a strap match. It's like in WWE when someone who never uses tables suddenly uses one because it's the time of year for the TLC PPV. You needed at least a month or so of Thelka and SoS tying people up and whipping them with belts before the Stat says "I'm gonna give you a taste of your own medicine". The introduction of the strap was so obvious and silly.

I think Thekla is a heckuva fun character that AEW hasn't quite a handle on, yet; that said I don't think this title change really hit right. The ending wasn't impactful enough that the crowd didn't really react because there was no way they figured that was ending it. I would actually love a double-turn where Hayter/Windsor end up aligning with Thekla as a mean group of brawling...er...birds, and Julia and Blue become more spooky, plucky underdog faces. Thekla as a mean, fearless champ who's back-up bail her out when she's in over her head would be a lot of fun, plus you could eventually turn Hayter against her after some time.