BobbyWhioux

meanwhile, the last time the Lions actually won anything they went through the 49ers in a conference championship to get there, so there's that. It was so long ago, conference championship games were a rare tiebreaker instead of a regular thing, of course, but the heat cupboard is pretty bare on this side of the bracket, too, so we'll work with what we got.

It's a conference championship game. The loser will have heat with the winner no matter what. Even if it's all hunky-dory, and especially if any goofy shit happens.

As a lover of chaos, as a hater of the idea that teams can be forced to do Hard Knocks, and as someone who relishes any black eye on the league's image/marketing strategy, the Broncos are definitely the best option due the puncher's chance Sean Payton will get caught doing something incriminating on camera that causes the league to abruptly pull the show from the air to protect itself. Another bountygate? More shady shit like benching Russel Wilson to sabotage his incentives/guaranteed money that'll piss off the Players Union (or at least, would piss off the Player's Union if it had any guts)? Why not both?

especially since, with all the time left on the clock, throwing for the endzone on 2nd and 9 like that was the losing move even if it succeeded

Stick The Ball Out At Your Peril

you misspelled best the offense has too many advantages in the modern game, there could stand to be a couple more provisions that completely ratfuck it like this.

everyone knows the red zone is where OC's too in love with themselves start trying to be tricky and clever instead of just doing what's already proven effective and beat themselves half the time. Maybe it's "punch themselves out" meta-strategy

what is the sound of one hand clapping, and what is the sound of one color analyst fapping

CMC Is The Master And The Ruler Of The World

As with most teams, the "championship window" is a grimy porthole with latches ever in danger of rusting shut. This roster will not remain financially tenable for much longer. Thus, anything less than Super Bowl Victory is a significant disappointment. Not quite back to the 1989-1994 level of "Anything Less Than Super Bowl Victory Is A Seppuku-Worthy Shame" but sniffing similar air.

Punt Return Touchdown is spiritually close enough to a turnover to suffice, I'd say.

if they go on to lose, we'll say they were rattled. if they end up winning, we'll say they weathered the storm.

Deebo took their souls along with their bikes

I mean, if you've already decided you can afford to settle for the Field Goal in that situation, you might as well leave it on the board.

that attempt at bringing the WR down was so soft that legally you're not even allowed to call it an attempted tackle.

Trey Lance warming up yet?

Jungle Boy, Horse Latitudes

late era Jerry Jones is a lot more like late era Al Davis than a lot of people want to admit and Dallas, like the Raiders, are fast becoming similarly "can only hire coaches that can't get head coach gigs anywhere else" territory

the exact thing they need to keep doing to win (spend 8 minutes scoring), they just did

Saints and Falcons knotted at 14 and, in case you were wondering (I know I was), a tie would be as good as a win for New Orleans since they need a Tampa Bay loss to win the division anyway.

And I had just started looking up what happens to these teams' chances if they tied, too. [Houston would still be eliminated, Colts would have to hope for a Jacksonville loss tomorrow to win the South]

Snyder would’ve taken this as a challenge

and that 2nd Down run lost just enough yards to be plausibly blamed as the difference on Crosby's FG going in or not. Fine slice of red meat for the NY Sports Talk Circuit. Everybody wins!

Cardinals DDTing Philadelphia outside the ring behind the ref's back for the Niners, 35-31

Not only accused the courier of tampering but of said tampering being motivated by antisemitism