dok

Richards is a bit ludicrous, sure, but wrestling should love its freaks. The "Super Intense Pocket Badass" gimmick is something he seemed to pick up on a tour of Japan about 5 years back. That's the style that the majority of DVDVR regs love to mock, but I still think he's rather better than that. I've not seen one of his overkill matches in several years, but while his spots may look outlandish out of context I remember thinking that he's actually pretty good at making moves mean something. Certainly not the superworker that some fans would have you believe. I still think his best match was against Hero at PWG Seven in 2010: very few back bumps just nasty strikes and some manly~! grappling.

If only Colin Olsen could have done the same.

Orton is boring as fuck as a heel. Those long control segments of his don't make me want the face to get the upper hand, they just make me want the match to be over. As a face though, I really enjoy his matches. Not because of any inherent quality of the work in them, but because I find the guy so objectionable, and his face match formula is to spend the entire time getting beaten on. I can forgive him any number of flash RKO victories as long as he gives me 10-15 minutes of being kicked in the face.

Someone must have made this joke before, right?

KENTA is more of a boots to faces guy than a headdropper. His size actually works in his favour in that regard, he's not a big enough guy to believably throw about most of the people he's worked with. Wouldn't say he's super charismatic though, unless he's up against Takayama in which case he seems to get turned up to 11. Any time those two got together he looked like a major star. Clearly he's less popular than the wrestlers of the '90s, but then again wrestling as a whole is less popular than it was in the '90s. Would he get over if put in front of a US audience? Yeah, with the right opponent I'm pretty sure he would.

It's a young AJ, isn't it?

That's assuming that whoever wrote the caption got it right. If it comes down to an unknown production assistant and Okerlund, I'd trust Mene Gene's word any day.

Who wants a moustache ride?

I'm not saying that we should adopt this as the new crew emblem. I'm just saying that we can. Made it transparent so it works on most coloured backgrounds. Sucks if you want it on red or black though.

JT oversells my racing prowess shamelessly. Thank you for that, the cheque is in the mail, and as anyone who had actually seen my win/loss ratio could tell you it needed to be a hefty payment. The only course I've really got nailed is the bike race that starts in the wind farm and ends by the reservoir dam. Hopefully I'm still top 250 for that one. I need to shave about .2 of a second off for the world record, but frankly I doubt I've got the reflexes. If you want top times you need these things:* A jump start. These take a while to get right, but once you've got the timing you should be doing them almost every time. Don't hit the throttle on Go, wait just a fraction of a second after the light turns green. Forget about the rhythm of the countdown, that'll just mislead you.* The right vehicle. Usually you want acceleration over top speed, which is why I went for a Voltic as my first supercar. Big mistake. That one might be a beast off the line but it gets smoked on any reasonably long straight. Infernus accelerates almost as fast, Adder has best speed, but I'll go with conventional wisdom and recommend the Entity as the best all-round. I love the way that thing takes corners. For bikes, you need the overpowered Akuma, although the Bati 801 has the edge on a straight racing course.* A racing partner. Someone you can trust not to take you out so that the two of you can slipstream your way to the lead.* GTA races. Forget the missiles, it's those little speed boost powerups that you want to concentrate on. Oh, and you probably want traffic turned off too, which is boring but necessary. You were smoking it in that pink Cheetah.

Can't remember the last time I saw someone go for the eyes in contemporary wrestling. No pokes, no rakes, no gouging. Not even getting a guy in a headlock and rubbing his face along the top rope. Heels are just too damn respectful these days.

Yeah, sorry about that. I'd already woken my wife once laughing at jstout's tractor adventure. Thought it prudent to keep shtum for a while. Was that you in the lobby I cleared out by playing Ride of the Valkyries at full distortion?

What's the deal with the Stampede library? Is it copies of TV broadcasts or do full versions of those matches exist? Or maybe I just want a Leo Burke comp.

That might mean that the flying school has opened. It's right next to the main LS airport. I don't remember needing to do anything there to progress the story, though.I reckon I was quite lucky to get online with GTA as early as I did. I won something like 12 races right off the bat. I felt untouchable, a higher being. Kifflom, brother sisters. Then everyone else learned how to drive and now I'm consistently third from bottom in every race I start. I suppose that means the secret is to only ever have three person races.

He was boring as shit in Chikara too unless he was in the ring with Cesaro. So he's consistent at least.

By default, yes, though there's an option that allows you to start where you last left off. I usually connect and see my guy taking a shower. It's good to know he's taking care of himself when I'm not around. Haven't had that, but I have had mystery explosions in my garage. Thought my penthouse was under attack at first, but later saw an empty patch of air randomly explode.

So yesterday I started a solo session and trawled arond Sandy Shores for an hour or so. Persistence paid off, as I am now the owner of the nastiest vehicle in the game. I give you... the Rat Loader: http://socialclub.rockstargames.com/crew/death_valley_driver/games/gtav/snapmatic/photo/xkkt8qEOYEmlVmkHH8WVRQWhen I've got the levels and the cash it's getting tricked out as a racing hot rod with an exposed engine, a big scoop and straight exhausts sticking out of the side. It is wonderful in its hideousness. Now saving up for the electric supercar so they can sit side by side in my garage.

I deserved it after the thrashing I gave J.T. earlier.Everyone on XBL should play Marcos at GTA races. He is the king of surprise rocket attacks.

I've not yet lost a character, but I have deleted one because I got stuck with a shit car. It would have been no fun at all tearing round the map in that clunky SUV. Don't know if it's intentional or not, but some of my money (both in hand and banked) carried over to the new character. Replaying may not be as grim as you think.

I bet you Ox Baker was pro-cancer, in principle at least. In practice it was generally quicker just to punch people.

Not as ridiculous as the Photoshop job they did on his head. It looks as if one side of it has melted away.

I think it's smart for them to acknowledge the rest of the wrestling world. It's the difference between being the only fish in the pond and being the biggest. If there are no other fish in there it's probably because the water's shitty and there's no way you'll convince the diners that the "brown cod" is a delicacy.

Page seven and still no mention of Brie Bella dressing up as Rainbow Brite? I'm ashamed of you guys. Come on, we need a couple of pages about how creepy it is that she was voted into that doll costume, LITERALLY becoming the WWE Universe[tm]'s own dress-up doll.

It's much less tacky than it could be. Oh, and the short answer is that everyone in wrestling is a mark with the sole exception of Kevin Nash, and even he can be bought with a well-cut sports jacket.