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RUkered

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Everything posted by RUkered

  1. You're doing better than me. I didn't even see the joke. I thought he was like "at least I didn't make it sacrilegious." I forgot the group I was amongst.
  2. God, I love this board. That is all. Merry Christmas everybody.
  3. Just FYI, you misspelled "fuck 'em." I'm cracking up right now because this explains a lot. I saw you were on, but it didn't say "online" or "playing story." I thought that was odd. I was having trouble getting online for a while and messaged you asking if you were having any issues with the servers. Now I know why you didn't respond. (Not that I cared either way - I figured you were busy with the dude or something.) Rip Van Robert in the house.
  4. I think they're cheating when they shoot me through a wall... Edit: forgot to say I also have to have full stats, but I'm lazy. I went to the airport, crouched, and tied a rubber band around the left stick. Checked in on it every few minutes to turn the character around before he hit a wall or walked off the edge.
  5. Big thanks to Stout for helping me get my feet wet with CEO crate work. We did most of it in an empty room, then it started filling up. We continued it until we inevitably got messed with, and then the CEO work stopped for some good old-fashioned scrums until I started getting cross-eyed and had to go to bed. The funniest part was that we technically started the shit because Stout accidentally killed another CEO with a Buzz-ard. But as your school teacher always said, it doesn't matter who started it - because we sent him packing with an empty lunchbox. The rest of it was chaotic but fun. If I remember right, it was 2 on 3 and we all kept respawning up each other's asses so there wasn't much time to breathe. If anyone is around tonight and wants to try that glitch, I'm game. I have a long, slow crawl to being able to afford to even wipe my own ass in Los Santos.
  6. So I just got on with my 2.75 million to become a CEO and see what you all have been talking about. What a humbling experience. I might as well have signed on with a roll of quarters for all that bought me. Cheapest office and smallest warehouse I could find - gun locker and safe only...(seriously - 900k for a cot in the back of the office??? I don't type this often, but LO fucking L.) I bought 2k worth of crates and took off to get them, even though I knew the risks in a public room. Had to get out of the slow ass box truck to kill a guy twice, but I made it back. Looked at my brand new 500k bank account and said, "Yeah I'm gonna wait for the next glitch" and signed off while I was ahead.
  7. Glad I got to raise some hell with you guys. Sorry I didn't hop on chat, but the lady friend wasn't feeling well and was napping - I knew it would be about 3 seconds before we started cutting Foghorn promos and I'd wake her up because I'm a loudmouth. I went back and forth last night between "holy shit am I rusty" and "there are just too many of these fuckers." I would tag a couple in a row with the heavy sniper and start to feel good about myself, then I'd get a boot up my ass. It felt like the raptors in Jurassic Park. Just when you've got your sights on the one ahead of you, the bastard hiding in the bushes to your left gets you. Anyway, despite it being pure chaos, it was damn (sorry...dalm) good to raise hell for a little bit. I'll catch you guys on again sooner instead of it being forever. Edit: Also, I forgot how hard it is to stay together. I'd roll up on Stout to try and give some support, then one of us would get killed, then respawn and get in a fight with 2-3...next thing I know I'd look up and we'd be like 6 city blocks apart. Maybe that was just due to the sheer volume of assholes we were dealing with.
  8. I got a message that my second character was unavailable. It was acting goofy, for sure.
  9. I got on for a few minutes to nose around, and I found out quickly that I'm going to have to wait until some of y'all are on to hold my hand. I realized I haven't even done a single Lamar mission, much less MC or CEO stuff. I honestly don't even know how to begin them without hitting up Google, and I'm far too tired for that tonight. And holy SHIT, these prices. I have like 2.9 million and might as well have pocket lint and a gum wrapper in my pocket. I feel like time has passed me by and I need to yell at kids to get off my lawn. I damn near went on a store robbing spree just because it was familiar...
  10. It's crazy how chocolate will do that to you, right???
  11. Sounds about right. The worst car I own is the Dukes. If you so much as hit a piece of gravel, the ass end bucks up like a horse. I hate the damn thing, but I'm a redneck in his 30s, so of course I painted it orange and drive it anyway, blowing the Duke boys horn every chance I get. Meanwhile, my fun (and free) Entity sits there collecting dust. All those dead hookers were for nothing...
  12. All these garages and I still drive the damn free dune buggy thing nine out of ten times.
  13. You mean you don't need 11 dump trucks and 9 firetrucks piled up by a bunch of drunken rednecks?
  14. Hell yeah. We had to blow up packages and had about 4-5 dots trying to stop us. Sons of bitches were on the roof dug in like an Alabama tick. So I did what I (and all of us) know best - off the radar, sticky on a car, drive up to the package. I got out to throw a molotov in case I wasn't close enough . Got shot just as I threw it, so I blew up the car for safe measure. Mission success. In the words of the mayor...fuck em.
  15. I don't know about the "only A in college" part, but lest anyone think he's kidding, this sumbitch really did take line dancing in college. No pictures or video exist, but I could post a picture of him in a cowboy hat with an oar in his hand, paddling around a pond in a 50 gallon barrel. I won't, however, because I'm going to go see him pretty soon and he owns enough guns to rescue a small country single-handedly.
  16. Judge: "On what grounds are you calling for a divorce." *lawyer points to AxB's son sneaking up on his mother with a fake sticky bomb made from a shoe box* *judge slams gavel*
  17. You mean you don't appreciate her superb delivery of "I thank sumthin dun bounced up into mah undercarriage."????? Thanks Jessica, because we all talk like Colonel Sanders down here...
  18. Who's in for collecting donations for Robert's tugboat fund? I think that's the only thing with a motor that he hasn't yet used to blow someone RIGHT TO HELL BAH GAWD.
  19. I rebooted everything short of climbing the pole and disconnecting the electrical coming into my house trying to get that shit going again last night. Stupid ass servers. I did manage to win one round of heavy sniper versus the moonwalking pea shooter before I got dumped though. Like a fly to shit, I got in the room and see three green dots near one white one. "Welp...looks like that guy is having a bad day. Time to go make it worse."
  20. That sounds pretty cool to me. As long as your subscribers understand that they'll be subjected to the Kenny Rogers Foghorn Leghorn Blaring Unintelligible Music Hour.
  21. On behalf of the Mayor.........he has a message for you all
  22. Goddamn, Petrol. I feel like I just watched Ocean's 11. Do you plan heists in real life? If you guys are wanting to do heists and need a person, I haven't done them with my second character and would be happy to pitch in. Edit: I cannot get rid of the quotes on mobile for some reason - disregard them.
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