(BP)

You’ll get milfs in goofy disguises doing kung fu to needle drop dance music and you’ll like it!

Phibes is such a great balance of the gothic horror and camp that Price embodied. It’s fascinating how it functions as both a love letter to Price’s earlier work and an antecedent to movies like Seven.

@Andrew POE! have you seen Grand Hotel? Very similar vibe to Dinner at Eight; it also has Beery and John Barrymore, among a number of other huge names from the time.

It has some of the most beautiful prose I’ve ever read, but after the fourth or fifth gruesomely vivid description of the gang mindlessly destroying indigenous villages, I thought “okay Mr. McCarthy, I get it.”

Dwayne’s probably the only A lister who has anything in common with destitute Amazon warehouse workers. They both look at the bitter fruits of their labor and ask, “I piss in a water bottle every day for this?” Truly the People’s Champion.

The only competent member of Top Dollar’s crew.

Silent Night Deadly Night 5: The Toymaker…also pretty good! This franchise is very unique. The first three are all essentially about the two psycho Santa orphans, and they go the Halloween III where characters in 4 and 5 are briefly shown watching those movies. The latter sequels are connected, as the surviving characters from Initiation return in Toymaker as family friends of the protagonist. The two films don’t share any salient plot points and the returning characters are more than walk-on cameos but less than integral supporting figures in the story. Very curious. Yuzna returns as producer and co-writer, but the film’s director is Martin Kitrosser, who also wrote two of the Friday the 13th installments. He’s been most successful as a script supervisor, including credits on every single Tarantino film. This is the goofiest and lightest of the five; it’s like an extended Are You Afraid of the Dark episode with some gore and the most chaste sex scenes I’ve ever witnessed. I’m bummed I slept on these for so long. They’re for sure going into my rotation for annual Xmas horror watches.

The world would be a better place if actors couldn’t play real people in movies unless they’d shared cocaine together at least once.

I’ve always loved the story about Tony negotiating a $1000 bonus per individual bee sting for Candyman and walking away with an extra $26k.

Netflix’s new release Time Cut is a very lazy facsimile of the high-concept comedic slashers of the past decade. Totally Killer and The Final Girls are both significantly better versions of it, not to mention several of Christopher Landon’s movies. I also watched Silent Night Deadly Night 4: Initiation. I’ve never heard much about this other than that it’s unrelated to the original killer Santa storyline, so I had no idea it’s a Brian Yuzna movie that’s arguably just as grotesque and bizarre as Society. It’s LA-based occult coven body horror that just happens to take place during the Christmas season, it doesn’t make much sense, and it’s quite fun and sleazy.

I read somewhere that since it’s not a period piece, the screenwriter approached it like he was writing a reboot of the Thanksgiving from Grindhouse. It references the trailer quite a bit, but tonally it’s less of an exploitation movie and more like a modern neo-slasher.

My absolute favorite giallos:

Halloween III is Michael’s Tony Soprano coma dream that’s happening between Halloweens II and 4, and Tom Atkins is his Kevin Finnerty alter ego.

Martino is my favorite giallo director. He didn’t have Argento’s verve, but all of his movies in the genre are bangers. He kind of bridges the gap between Italy’s 60s crime thrillers and 70s proto-slashers. There’s usually the suggestion of a sexual thrill killer in the beginning of his horror movies, and then there’s a turn that reveals more complex criminal conspiracies at the heart of the murders. Torso is the exception where it is a true early slasher, and it’s one hell of an exception.

Oddity not only has a great jump scare, it also has a sight gag involving the statue sitting at a table that absolutely killed me.

I guess good for them for opening the checkbook to meet Quan’s post-Oscar quote.

It’s always seemed like this story was overshadowed by the steroid investigation and somehow scrubbed from the public’s memories immediately. The first time I was even vaguely aware of it is when I read a 90s wrestling magazine that briefly alluded to it, but referred to it as a “sex scandal,” which is truly shameful.

I will always maintain that the greatest sequel title of all time is House: The Second Story.

Dogma was held in somewhat high esteem for a bit because it was Smith’s follow-up to Chasing Amy, when it seemed like he was going to mature into a more complete filmmaker. It also seemed more significant than it really was because he got so many death threats over it, when in retrospect we’ve seen targeted threats over much dumber things since then. I definitely hold his horror movies in higher regard than any of his comedies from the past two decades.

I went back to Christine this week because I’ve been rewatching the Carpenters that I didn’t think much of years ago since I’ve realized how much pan and scan hurts his movies. I enjoyed it more than I used to, but it’s still just a pretty good King adaptation. If Bryan Fuller gets his version made there’s plenty to dig into not touched by the 83’ film, but it’s probably going to be hurt by CGI. The practical effects of Christine reassembling are so simple but incredibly eerie. Also, I just saw the original teaser for the first time and it’s so cool. I only caught the new It movies this month. I loved Chapter 1, but Chapter 2 is definitely hurt by the middle act being a series of Pennywise run-ins with no breathing room.

I watched the new Hulu release Mr. Crocket. I’d say it’s kind of I Saw the TV Glow meets It by way of Nightmare on Elm Street, with Terrifier-level gore. If that sounds up your alley you’ll probably enjoy it. There’s a bit of tonal whiplash between a compelling family drama and the cheeky splatter kills, but both are executed well enough, and the performances are disarmingly good.

Sending Klaus Kinski off with a second unit team to direct himself in all of the scenes where’s he’s attacking women was certainly a choice.

It’s pretty cool that Marvel’s Dracula was based on Palance. The castle location in that movie always stuck with me as one of the best in any Dracula production. Palance also made a cheap Jekyll and Hyde movie in the 80s that’s enhanced by his weird energy.

Going in blind to The Void is such a treat. I only just saw it over the summer and I adored it. This year I’ve been doing a deep dive on horror from the last decade + (basically since I started having kids and didn’t have time to watch as much.) New Favorites Most of these are available on Netflix, Shudder, or one of the other notable streamers. Hope this is helpful @Eivion

Did The Blues Brothers invent the public domain movie gag of cutting between something chaotic and people quietly riding an elevator while Girl from Ipanema is playing? I’m trying to think of an earlier version of it.