Greggulator

Being from the UK makes it hard to see Paige rolling out of her boyfriend's truck to brain a girl outside of an Applebee's. She has the look for it but her accent disqualifies her.Paige looks like she'd hang out with dudes who would sell fake molly to chavs outside a lesser-tier club in a lesser-tier English city. If and when the chav crew stepped up, Paige would destroy the girl and take her can of cider.

Didn't watch the whole show yet. But the Bray Wyatt and Brock promos were off-the-charts. The Bray promo was so incredible structured and layered. I loved Bray at first tipping his hat into Kane for being a demon but then it just got layered into such amazing storytelling. That harrowing end line -- "I'm already dead. I'm already dead" says it right there: Bray believes himself to be the reborn Christ. He tips his hat to Kane as a rival but Kane doesn't see the bigger picture. The fire will not stop his brothers (what Christ called his disciples) literally or figuratively (his followers are everyhwere, man). Kane's fire -- the Devil himself -- fears Bray since he knows Bray's the almighty. The fire will raise up against Kane because you can't serve the devil without suffering, and Kane will have to meet his master at some point.These promos are seriously brilliant. I also love Bray cast as a redemptive savior. He's here to lead the oppressed, to wake us up, to see the lie we're living under and to destroy our oppressors.His vocal cadences and ticks and the like -- this is seriously amazing. He's been in the WWE for only a few weeks and is already the best promo in the company. He's ridiculously great at the character. It's only a matter of time before he's stalked by someone who actually believes him as a deity. They drew up an amazing character and it fell in the hands of a wrestler who became that character. Windham Rotunda is an actor who also wrestles. (On another note, he did a NXT promo that's on YouTube taht I don't think aired on the show. He did a thing against Big E. and somehow incorporate an amazingly spot-on impersonation of Regal in the middle of it. The dude has perfect range.) The one problem with Bray is that it's too good for the general WWE fan. They have to play Bray as a lunatic. He's certainly that but no announcer is clever enough to decipher his meaning to the crowd. The Brock promo was great straight-up jock douche. The MMA line was super nasty. It really makes me want to see Punk kick him in the face. Amazing.

I kind of think the NXT crowd is the perfect wrestling audience. They have an intimate ECW feel but also buy into what they're seeing like marks -- it's not about smarky smart stuff but just having a great time. But they're also smart enough to appreciate stuff like Tyler Breeze's entrance w/ a "That Was Awesome" chant. It's a perfect balance.

I absolutely love that Enzo Amore exists. Guys like him were such a dime-a-dozen whenever I went to the Jersey Shore as a kid. He's a total throwback to 1987 Wildwood, NJ. Kudos to whatever writing staff member came up with "Human garbage who bets on fights between pre-teen girls" as a archetype. Summer Rae, Defender Of The Art of Dance, is also AWESOME. I also think we're underselling Tyler Breeze's New Order rip-off theme music. Really fits the Milan Fashion Club Kid gimmick. Also,, his fur belt is TO DIE FOR. They should run a gimmick where the sends Twitpics of him posing in triumph to his vanquished foes.And I am saying it right now. Bo Dallas is the new number one and the best. That promo was amazing. "He's a good kid." Deflecting blame for his loss to Leo Kruger, claiming mastery of tag wrestling despite being a fill-in, etc. Just such a sanctimonious tool. Him awfully singing Journey is perfect. They need to keep him thinking he's a fan favorite and ignoring all of the jeers. Sami Zayn beating him is going to be epic.

The Shield match and follow-up promo was awesome. Throwing those dudes into 6-men matches is a guaranteed great time. That match was really well built. I *LOVED* the hot tag at the end w/ the Uso on the apron going nuts and Mark spiritedly reaching for the tag, getting in and wrecking shop. The end was so great -- the strong-man pulling down Henry, giving The Shield that one little second to steal the pin. Blame it on ring general Henry -- he could have his a World's Strongest Slam on Ambrose and won that thing but wanted the Uso to hit the Superfly. Seriously, that match was awesome.

On How To Ask For A Raise:

DVDVR is my favorite message board. But my second favorite? It's the message board for ModernButlers.com, a website by, for and about the butlers of modern society. Enjoy!

Angelo Cataldi was an adjunct professor at my school. I took him for Sports Writing. It was the absolute worst.

Taker/Michaels from Ground Zero 1997 that ended in the giant brawl and tope - setting up the first Hell in a Cell the next month - I remember being blown away by that when it first aired... Did the Midnights/Fantastics match from that Clash get thrown out? If so, that, because that's the best match.

I liked a lot of Raw last night. I thought the Vince/Bryan/Steph stuff had its moments. Bryant's makeover was good stuff. The barber shop segment with Wade coming down was great foreshadowing -- notice that Randy has a nicely groomed beard as well?The political machinations stuff is going to go on for a while. I'm just settling in getting used to it. As long as it's backstage machinations and not the focus of the entire show (re: 30-minute HHH mic-spots at the start of Raw), I'm fine with it. I loved Cena's mic spot a ton. I was watching on my laptop. Was he getting boring chants? As soon as that happened, he got the crowd right back into the mix. That dude can work a crowd like only a few others in history have been able to do so. I loved him breaking out his Marky Mark accent and his heel mic-drop. Great on how that built to Randy's interference and then The Shield coming down.The Punk/Axel match was really good. I love Punk's pure hatred for Heyman getting him in trouble. Punk has a great fighting spirit thing against Brock. Their stuff definitely feels like a high school fight between the smaller but completely fearless punk kid taking on the big bully football player jock. The jock wins (for now) but the kid in the Minor Threat shirts gets in a lot of blows along the way to everyone's shock. I wish they gave the main event 30 minutes. They could have cut out some nonsense (re: Fandango) and given that match 20-minutes. Another classic Shield 6-man with that ending is super hot. Last night it felt super rushed. Also, I'm super excited for some sort of Wyatt/Kane gimmick match. There hasn't been a supernatural thing in a while.

I really want this to somehow end up with Brie growing jealous of her sister's place and wealth and the like and it ends with her becoming Mr. McMahon's mistress.If we have to put up with Vince for the rest of the year, we might as well have Daniel in the Austin role.

I have some tape somewhere that had a bunch of Lightning vs. Lynn stuff from Minnesota before they moved to Global. GREAT stuff. They set up a hair vs. hair match wonderfully. Kid jumped Lynn and cut off a lot of his hair and then sold it in baggies during intermission.

Maybe we should be asking ourselves is what would have happened to Doug Gilbert if Eddie lived?

BTW, I am super excited for the Eva Marie/Jo-Jo split at some point. Their PPV match is going to be must-watch. What was the divas match with the Tough Enough people that was arguably the worst match in Raw history? I remember Trish was in it and I think stiffed the hell out of someone.It is kinda awesome though that the Divas who are actually worth something are kept far away from this. I completely forget if the Funkadactyl girls can work or not. Layla has reality TV chops but she also can perform. LayCool was one of my favorite acts, particularly when Layla said something like "My butt hurts!" after getting sunset flipped on some random Smackdown match. I can't see her having anything but the Nattie role of the moral center. But they actually like using Layla on screen so there she goes.I'm super glad that AJ is far away from this mess. She has zero reality TV potential. Her media appearances makes her come off as someone who grew up as an actual wrestling fan (unlike, oh, every other diva who were failed models whose pictures ended up on the right person's desk) who works very hard at her craft and is excellent at it.The great irony is, though, AJ's on-screen character of the unhinged ex-girlfriend who snaps whenever her fragile self-confidence is damaged would be the best reality TV persona.

How DARE you, sir! Nikki Bella put on a reality show clinic last night. She turned to her sister's boyfriend, while on a private jet, and nonchalantly said to him, "and her dress was like *this*" while pulling down her dress strap and squeezing her boobs together. This worked on THREE different levels as she: *Showed Bryan something she knows he'll never have (inappropriate). *Believed that Bryan would actually want that over what he has, which is her own sister (delusions of grandeur/backstabber). *Did all of this in front of her boyfriend, John Cena - who was way too complicit in the matter (creepy). She then followed that up by rubbing her rich boyfriend's house/stuff in her sister's face, and went into a rage about overcast WA weather; the Danielson family war chest and goosesh*t. There isn't a woman on earth, watching this show, who will like her after that. Within half an episode she turned her sister face, Cena heel (if all of this isn't building to him dumping her) and established herself as the source for all viewer's rage. She did exactly what the producers would want her to do, which is why all of the advertisements featured them prominently. Good people don't do well on reality shows. That's why Nattie won't sniff a second of screen time until the wedding angle, and JoJo hasn't been seen doing much of note yet. Naomi is doing the same thing as Nikki, on a smaller scale (since her boyfriend isn't John Cena) and is doing just as good a job of turning her partner face in the process. Eva Marie is the epitome of someone who is willing to do anything to get ahead - including going along with every stupid planned/fake stunt that the producers suggest to her (pretending to dye her hair "the wrong color"; telling WWE she can dance when she can't). She even went along with a random on-camera proposal. She will be a star from this show - even if she never sees a minute of screen time from WWE. You are making a strong argument for Nikki being the lead villain of the show. I also forgot about the part where Cena said to Brie "Are you sure..." about the Aberdeen estate.However, everyone has completely no-sold Nikki being horrible! There's nothing from Brie at all about this. In fact, she fell under Nikki's sway! Unless Bryan bugs out at some point, it's a waste of a good angle.Eva Marie is a total waste of a good character. Imagine how much better the angle would have been if it was Emma from NXT claiming she can dance and then busting out her trademark move in front of everyone? That would have launched her to superstardom, especially since she and Summer Rae already have dance-off feuding experience. (On tape delay; the dance off is on Thursday's NXT.)

What about the mystery of THE DARK PATRIOT? And the Patriot? Johnny Polo being to Eddie Gilbert what Stevie Richards was to Raven? The angle where Eddie agreed to have fans check him at ringside for weapons and he had about 55,000 things stashed on his body?

Any CHAZ yet?

Great promo.There are so many other things this shows. 1) The Horseman really needed JJ to get their All-For-One stuff over. Ric talked so much trash on Tully. There's no way they mend fences unless you have a smooth operator like JJ figuring out how to engineer it (with his financial acumen, of course). JJ was still a while away from moving up from wearing goofy tuxedos and managing B-level dudes to wearing the slick suits befitting the corporate officer of Tully Blanchard Enterprises. 2) I bet Will Ferrell has a few thousand of those page views so he could get in character for Ashley Schaeffer. That was the most Ashley Schaeffer Motors thing ever.

This show is such a great train wreck.1) The Bella Twins are almost as boring on this show as they are on Raw! If they want to be the lead actresses on a slimy reality TV show, they have to really up the melodrama a lot. Whichever one is married to Daniel wanting to not live in Aberdeen -- well, yeah, I can't really blame her. And Cena's girl -- his thoughts on marriage are a little interesting but if it's not building up to a breakup or proposal, who cares? (And it'd have to be a proposal since Eva Marie is engaged.) They also should look to book Cena and Bryan better. Bryan going on and on about how wonderful his house is would have sold the angle. And it could have been a good arc that naturally ends with Bryan agreeing to move and getting him and his girl over as faces in the process. Poorly done. 2) The Eva Marie as dancer gimmick was a little interesting. She's good in the young troublemaker role. It's too bad she'll be signing autographs at car dealership openings in a few month. I don't get the WWE's character with this -- she's a great template for a character. I wish they gave the spot to one of the NXT girls since they could parlay this into an actual on-air Raw role with a built-in fanbase and/or audience. There's no way the new girls know how to work. Wasted opportunity. 3) Nattie's a great "voice of reason" but, like all things Nattie, they're not finding her any screen time. It sucks because she's the most likely to take her Total Divas exposure and run with it as a babyface. 4) The Funkadactyls are the best characters on the show. I like their dynamic a lot. It actually comes off as super believable. Their whole deal with the seamstress (the best character so far) was really great for people who like wrestling minutiae like how sparkly costumes get made. It also shows the politicking of the industry a bit, too -- those girls screwed over the seamstress and she told them to go screw themselves. And of course the one girl said she'd take the blame and didn't at all.

Either this was one of the great showing ass gimmicks or Ak just played off this absolutely perfectly.AK's one of my favorites of all-time. Great archetype of a heel. I liked him so much more than any of the other foreign Arab menaces of my youth.

Corey Graves comes off like the absolute worst type of hardcore punk fan. He's a dude who is all about tattoos, fights and his roommate's crappy Hatebreed copycat band. (And he and his roommate live with six other dudes in a two-BR place in like West Philly or Sacramento or Allston.) And absolutely none of those dudes has felt any joy or laughed at anything since the time they had a party at their house and beat up a 19-year-old kid who threw up in the basement.I'm more of a Sami Zayn guy -- an Op Ivy fan who is shy but charming around Renee Young who also dresses up like a luchador and hates pretentious Eurotrash.

Dusty Rhodes was driving a convertible Benz when the Horseman rolled him in the parking lot.

I love both "Something to Believe In" and "Howlin' At The Moon." They're two of my favorite Ramones songs. My favorite Ramones song after the first four albums is Bonzo Goes To Bitburg.I read Mickey Leigh's (Joey's brother) autobiography a few months back. Those dudes wanted to be huge rock stars and were super pissed they never had a radio breakthrough. It wasn't their fault, though. It was radio's.If you like The Ramones (and every true American loves The Ramones) then you have to check out The Exploding Hearts. They're probably the most heartbreaking story in music history -- even past Chris Bell or D. Boon.

DEBATE: Antonio Cesaro would main event every PPV from here to the end of his career if he were to steal Alex Wright's armpit dance.