DEAN

Panterita del Ring/ Templario/ Titan vs Angel de Oro/ Dragon Rojo Jr/ Niebla Roja- CMLL Gran Guerrero vs Volador Jr- CMLL

Rey Mysterio vs Damien Priest- RAW Cody Rhodes vs Finn Balor- RAW Santos Escobar/ Cruz Del Toro/ Joaquin Wilde vs Jimmy Uso/ Jey Uso/ Solo Sikoa- RAW

Pentagon Jr/ Alberto Patron vs Sam Adonis/ Psycho Clown- AAA Myzteziz vs Argenis- AAA DMT/ Blue Demon vs RUSH/ LA PARK- AAA Swerve Strickland vs Rich Swann vs Komander vs El Hijo del Vikingo- AAA

IT's the Usos and Solo Sikoa against the LWO! Joaquim Wilde I can never remember the name of. He takes an assbeating from the Bloodline. LWO takes them out with Stereo Topes! Solo Sikoa is becoming more dynamic while he also whips out a Nerve Pinch! Jimmy and Santos Escobar are MAGIC in the ring together. Escobar is an awesome fired up babyface. Cruz Del Toro gets slaughtered a couple ways, as Sikoa continues to find new awesome ways to hit the Samoan Spike. Santos Escobar is my new favorite babyface. The Street Profits haven't wrestled in a while. Oh cool! Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander have wrestled even less. Ah! But this doesn't last very long. HHH doesn't announce the secret signing of CM Punk so it's a disappointment. This is a very Vince-inspired slog of an episode so far- but hope springs eternal. It's DMG CNTRL! Bianca Belair has secret tag partners! It's Raquel Rodriguez and Liv Morgan! I have to get a new IV so I miss all of it! I assume it was good. Chad Gable and Mustafa Ali should be good. Nice Dragon Suplex by Gable. Not much else. There's like 15 minutes of wrestling tonight, it feels like. Finn Balor takes on Cody Rhodes! This is good! Cody is bumping like total weirdo to make Balor look good. Cody hits a flurry offense that looked like a poorman's Dustin. CODY CUTTER! FOR TWO! Cody goes back to making Balor look like a million bucks! PEDIGREE! CROSS RHODES! For the win! That was good! I cannot wait to get back to fast forwarding through the talking sections of wrestling. IT really makes the wrestling seem more important when you can just concentrate on it. During RAW, if you have to watch it in real time, it's like 45 minutes of story development, 10 minutes of wrestling then 6 minutes of commercials. Rey Mysterio and Damien Priest are fixing to go after each other. Priest has great looking offense and Rey is a great sympathetic babyface. Rey starts off trying to get on top of things but it quickly turns to Rey selling the offense of Priest! Toprope Rana by Rey! Priest cuts him off by punching him in the face! Priest starts off Rey's comeback with a Psicosis Bump to the ringpost! Asai Moonsault! Priest cuts him off by kicking him in the face! Priest with a Low Angle EXPLOIDER for TWO! 619! Priest uses a chair and that's your crappy finish. Bad Bunny makes the save. I dunno about this episode of pro wrestling.

I'm leaving the hospital tomorrow.

And they did!

Early tie for first! Takeshita/Moriarty challenge Miz/Rollins!

This week's Derby City wrestling sucks it.

Kevin Martenson is SO good. Charles Cassus is a spry fat boy.

El Hijo del Vikingo vs Dralistico- RAMPAGE Cash Wheeler/ Dax Harwood/ Jeff Jarrett/ Jay Lethal vs Josh Woods/ Tony Nese/ Ari Daivari/ Slim J- RAMPAGE

Pig Destroyer, Pig Decapitator, Pig Pool, Pig Destructor and Pig Desenterrador! They are all giant refrigerators being thrown off a porch.

I SAW KRAUT! THEY WERE KRAUT! ALL TWISTED! I remember back when you could choose leaded or unleaded gasoline.

It's Jon Moxley and Christopher Daniels! Daniels doesn't have the motivation of Evil Uno, Brandon Cutler or Michael Nakazawa to make his match transcendent with MOX so this isn't awesome or anything from an emotional standpoint. I'm sure it will be perfectly fine in the ring. Great King Kong Lariat into a Piledriver for two! Daniels makes a comeback. MOX with a Sleeper! There ya go. Taya is going to get a VISUAL PIN Wednesday and then get disqualified, it would appear. I assume this will be the best match Cargill will be in so far. I wonder if Jericho is going to sic Tay Melo and Anna J after Britt Baker. Tay-J vs Baker/Hayter would be good. It's Julia Hart and Kiera Hogan going at it. Hogan is spunky! This is better than Julia vs Anna J. Also very short. HEY! speaking of Anna J! Then it goes all Memphis, as Jay Lethal and Jeff Jarrett tag with FTR for a few minutes until it becomes obvious that Sanjay paid off the Varsity Athletes! Or something. And it does give us Slim J and Dax Harwood and EVEN BETTER Slim J and Cash Wheeler. THEN it's Slim J and Jay Lethal. So it's the best wrestlers in AEW take a few turns at SLim J- the unknown best wrestler in AEW. I dig goober booking with insane ringwork. I assume this leading to FTR vs Lethal/Jarrett eventually. Once again the main event is here to save this episode's bacon. MAN! Vikingo's bump to nowhere on the floor is fucking insane. This is one thing after another. AND they are laying it in. In picture in picture, RUSH and Preston Vance CHEAT! Dralistico is a good rudo in this- beating on the technico so the crowd gets into the upcoming insane lunatic comeback that Vikingo is going to unleash. HOLY SHIT! CANADIAN DESTROYER ONTO THE APRON! LFI gets kicked out of ringside! Man, Dralistico is fucking great in this. This was fucking GREAT- especially because it was so different than the other three matches Vikingo has had in AEW. This felt more like what the Kenny Omega match would have been like if there was any doubt as to who was winning that one. BACON SAVED! 45 minutes of nonsense, 15 minutes of a wildly stiff lucha battle! AEW RULES THE MOTHRFUCKING WORLD!

Well, TK needs to invest in Perquiza Extremas to ROH at least.

What a random gathering of wrestlers. I dunno. Go ahead and watch. There's nothing horrible.

The Miz/Seth Rollins rolls out an early lead! Konosuke/Moriarty pulls up in second! I'm the only voter who appreciates GUNTHER!

I saw Husker Du on the NEW DAY RISING tour. I remember the days before cable TV.

GRINGO LOCO!

Well! No CUT LIST! WWE smoked AEW this week in the ring. I had almost forgotten about the Miz vs Seth Rollins. ROH saved AEW;s bacon, as I am TORN between Vikingo/Gringo Loco, Moriarty/Takeshita and GUNTHER/Woods. There was some cool matches in GLEAT as Big Lucha finished their invasion. I watched all of the Takahashi/Eagles and the Triple Threat match that they showed on AXS. I assume they cut to the finish of the Robbie Eagles match because seemed to be fucking around alot. CMLL brung the usual awesome stuff with the added extra of a Stuka Jr six man. IMPACT! had the EPIC six man and a really good Death Dollz/Coven match.

It's Damien Priest and Finn Balor having it out with Rey Misterio and Santos Escobar! My love affair with Priest continues. Rey Rey is our face that would be in peril. Escobar makes the hot tag! Rey and Escobar hits some fun low-grade double teams! Escobar and Priest lay it in a little until Priest kicks Santos in the head. The crowd is white hot for Rey to make the hot tag! Escobar hits a Stuka Jr Dive on THE WRONG DUDE! Priest gets the pin! That was fun! LWO needs to win one of these at some point. Though I dig the Bill Wattsian booking of the heels strong. It's Ricochet! It's Braun Strowman! It's Erik and that other guy in the Viking Raiders! Well, this should be good. Oh right, IVAR~! Oh man, Ivar and Strowman are laying it in. Other parts are kind of awkward. Ricochet whips out a Flying Space Tiger Drop! TIGER MASK! Returning from commercial, Ricochet is selling an assbeating. FUN Dropkick by Strowman on the event of his hot tag! Viking Raiders throw giant blobs of fat from the toprope! Ricochet jumps off Brawn's shoulder to get the pin! That was wild. Sonya Deville and Chelsea Green are taking on Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez. Oop! They were checking my blood sugar level (126) so I couldn't really see much except for Liv tumbling over the top rope to the other three on the floor. Raquel Rodriguez is great on offense. AWESOME! LIV AND RAQUEL totally CHEAT TO WIN! YES! MILLION BILLION STARS! It is time for to see how much GUNTHER will pummel Xavier Woods. I'm thinking a lot. Or maybe GUNTHER will underestimate Woods and sell a bunch. I'm guessing the latter. Well, I see early it is about the pummeling. Then we go to commercial. I await a batch of nearfalls. The crowd gets behind Woods comeback! GUNTHER smacks the fuck out of his chest! Butterfly Suplex to cut off Wood's next comeback! They both lay it in and this is getting great! Woods hits two dives and Toprope Legdrop and our NEAT NEARFALLS ARE KICKING IN! CRUCIFIX BOMB FOR TWO! GUNTHER savagely locks in the Sleeper and that was fucking great! That was how you put together a GUNTHER assbeating and also put in a lot of cool nearfalls. HHH! HHH! HHH! GUNTHER is the Orange Cassidy of the WWE. It's Solo Sikoa taking on Matt Riddle. No DQ means the Usos will just stay in the ring and beat on Riddle, one would suppose. This starts off HOT! Thenthey quickly slow it down. Lance Storm-esque KENDO STRIKES! Riddle whips out a table! BROTON over the steps! Returning from the commercial, Riddle is assuming his role as Ricky Morton. But with a chair on his face! Riddle makes a comeback with kendo sticks and steel chairs! Sweet Suplex by Riddle onto two open chairs! FOR TWO! Riddle buries Sikoa under a chair! And the Usos show up. Riddle fights them off! Sikoa crawls out of the wreckage! Sikoa misses with a Samoan Spike and then hits an AWESOME SPEED SAMOAN SPIKE! And they get back to the table! That was some quality professional wrestling.

Translation of the Komander interview. Yeah, we got a babyface on our hands.

Yeah, that was a real wrestling match that ALSO started off with that Standing Shoulder Rana thing I've never seen before ever in my FIFTY-FOUR years of watching wrestling. That was insane. And I'm very old.

Noisy Boy/ Spider Fly vs Kenji/ Rey Halcón- IWRG

Buddy Matthews vs Orange Cassidy is your WINNER! Darby Allin vs Swerve Strickland is a distant second.

That Time Machine vs Speedball/ Gresham/ Miguel match was a SAGA. That was like a 45 minute Dragon Gate 6 man. I back IMPACT!'s play one hundred percent. Yuya versus Moose was really good. Evil Alissa Edwards is what the world has needed for a while.