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Showing content with the highest reputation since 07/12/2013 in Posts

  1. "My Brother Randy will go into the hall of fame Quite the accomplishment I must acclaim But remember this HHH and you'll never be the same Stephanie rode the madness before she played the game" Boom fucking sauce. Print da money.
    74 points
  2. Guys, I really don't think this is a big deal, Hulk Hogan isn't racist. I mean, according to my sources orange is the new black! I'll see myself out.
    55 points
  3. We have time...... I'll have to write this out when I'm working from home tomorrow and some downtime. So basically I was about 5 years old and was staying at my grandma's place for the summer with my aunts, cousins and my great-grandfather. All of my aunts and my grandmom were at work and it was just me, my one 11 year old cousin and my 14 year old aunt and my great-grandfather. We lived out in the country so it wasn't that big of a deal for us kids to roam around everywhere as we had other relatives living nearby. So I'm sitting in the living room with my great-grandfather, watching tv and he just kinda keels over and lays on the ground. Just out of nowhere. I'm 5 years old and have no clue what's going on so I get my cousin and aunt b/c they're older. They freak the fuck out b/c they think he's dead and I remember being pretty calm and saying, "hmmm, maybe we should get Aunt Earline (our retired aunt who lived next door) b/c she's grown-up and you're both still kids like me." So we get my aunt and she comes to the house and she flips out. Calls 911, calls all of our other relatives, get people to come back from work. I remember calling my one aunt who kinda ran the household. Calling her was huge b/c it was she was like the last resort b/c she could not take time off unless it was an absolute emergency. So she hauls ass back to the house. Everyone's at the house, EMT's arrive, etc. As soon as they're about to start doing CPR and all that, my great-grandfather no sold everything and did what can best be described as an Undertaker sit-up and goes, "I just wanted to see if ya'll loved granddaddy". My aunt read him the fucking riot act and the EMTs went nuts but what can you really do to an 85 year old dude? The gif of Teddy Long's heart attack is exactly how he fell out of his chair.
    54 points
  4. "Yet, thanks to my trusty safetysphere, I sublibed with only tribial brain dablage." One of my favorite Futurama lines isn't quite as funny anymore. So over the past year or so, I've been suffering from bouts of anxiety and depression, coming in and out in waves. Issues with work and home life have contributed but it was definitely something out of the norm. After urging from my wife and doctor, I visited the Amen Clinics in Bellevue this week to get treated for my ongoing ADHD issues and to get SPECT scans of my brain. What we found was far worse. What you see in this scan is multiple, cumulative TBIs (traumatic brain injuries) in my brain, clustered in the occipital and frontal lobes, but in multiple locations. Two scans were taken - this one, after I had engaged in mental activity, and one at rest. (The one at rest looks even worse.) In short, the bumps and head shots I took through my wrestling career have led to brain damage, and are the probable cause of my anxiety and depression. Most of the damage is to the back of the brain, which makes sense, as that's what would be impacted by standard bumps. There are a few in other places, and nearly all of them I can directly attribute to individual shots over the years. One was hard enough that it not only caused damage on the impact point, but on the other side as well, meaning my brain actually bounced - that was from a superkick by Scotty Mac in ECCW. (I did a promo line back then that I felt my brain actually bounce in my head. Guess I wasn't imagining it.) However, like I said on Twitter, data is beautiful and knowing is half the battle. Now that we know, I can be treated for it, and I began treatment this morning for all issues - I've started once again on Adderall to counter the ADHD symptoms, and on a low dose of Cymbalta to help with the anxiety and depression. Cymbalta also helps with issues with pain and neuropathy, which I've experienced in the past year due to possible degenerative disc issues in my neck, and a shoulder injury suffered in 2016. I will also be getting a volumetric MRI and a full spinal scan to help with those issues. But it scares me what kind of shape the brains of my friends that are/were full time wrestlers and take far stupider bumps than I ever did will be in at this point, or five/ten/twenty years from now. I was just a referee, manager and occasional wrestler, and I still ended up with noticeable, actionable damage. One thing is for sure - my wrestling career is definitely, definitively over. I may do commentary spots or appearances of that nature here and there as the itch strikes, but I will *never* take a bump of any kind ever again. This is my own decision, not the doctor's - I am medically disqualifying myself. Unlike Daniel Bryan, there will be no comeback, and honestly, I don't want one - pro wrestling in this area has changed to the point that I had already decided to walk away with my sanity, finances and health as intact as possible. This just makes it easier, in a way. But to make one thing perfectly clear: I don't blame pro wrestling for this whatsoever, in any way, shape or form. I knew what I was getting into, which is why I was careful about the bumps I did take (and the ones I *didn't*). I wouldn't change a thing and I don't regret any of it (well, maybe some of the people I associated with). You won't see me involved in a frivolous lawsuit blaming others for this. Hell, 99% of it was my idea to begin with. (I hate to pop everyone's bubble but nearly every fun angle, match and storyline I was part of was almost entirely my idea. Sadly, that includes the dumbass bumps, too.) I'd say this should serve as a cautionary tale, but it won't. The new guys never listen to those before them that tell them to take it easy, just like those that come after them won't listen to them either. But I know there's some current and aspiring wrestlers that might read this, so I'll just say - please be careful, and be smart. And if you start feeling "different", or especially if those around you notice something different, please, seek help. It's not there to judge you - it's there to help you get better. I should've gone to the Amen Clinics months ago - they have been fantastic and both the doctors and I are extremely optimistic of a significant, if not full recovery. I did more in my wrestling career than I ever would've dreamed possible. I had experiences I wouldn't trade for anything. It brought me out of my introverted shell and taught me so much, good and bad. Without it, I wouldn't have moved to Seattle, and I wouldn't have met the woman that would eventually become my wife and soulmate. I refereed a match with Kevin Nash in front of 1800 people, got punched by Ross Hart, booked guys like Christopher Daniels, Raven, Matt Borne and Fit Finlay for matches, was front and center in three fantastic stables and major angles, main evented in major matches, was carried out of a building kicking and screaming by a local women's tackle football team (Seattle Mystics represent), got to piss off more fans than I can count, main evented as a referee, a manager and a wrestler, transition for six months into a commentator, be the executive producer of a promotion and TV show in my own vision, had my own championship belts created (twice!) and even held two championships at the same time. And guess what? It was fun.
    50 points
  5. So the family was pretty Anoa'id?
    50 points
  6. There's an idea for a stable. Owens, Joe, Ohno, and a fourth, maybe Damo/Dain. Their name would be
    48 points
  7. Whatever you say, Overly Critical Bitch. Just testing this out. My likes count will determine the power of your theory.
    45 points
  8. Because it's the internet and wrestling dudes make gifs.
    45 points
  9. At least the Harris Bros. have achieved their lifelong dream of being minority owners.
    43 points
  10. Wm32: Wahhhgrrrbl! Here Wrestlemania, have A Snickers. You suck when you're hungry. Better? NXT Takeover Dallas: Better
    42 points
  11. ...OR we could strip the shame from any kind of sex work, especially something as simple as making pics and videos. I'm friends with a few women who are on OF and while they do have to deal with a good amount of creepy dudes, when do women NOT have to? Otherwise they love the option. There's no need to consider it sleazy for people to engage in OF.
    41 points
  12. (taps microphone) As best I know, I'm one of four women and only Black woman on the board. By all means correct me if I'm wrong on that. The point being as a super minority on DVDVR, I have different perspectives on wrestling and the world at large. Because being both Black and a woman, my identity intersects a plane entirely different from most here. I come on the board, read posts by the majority White men here, and it's obvious many of you don't have a clue about what any woman thinks, let alone a Black woman or woman of color. So I try to provide insight, to show a prism that someone who is the polar opposite for most here looks through. To provide a voice for a group woefully under-represented in wrestling (as that's the original point of DVDVR). I don't expect to be applauded for doing that. But I don't appreciate the online psychoanalysis of how I hate White men and I'm obsessed with this wrestler/that promotion/seeing problems that don't really exist. Some were apparently shocked that I would disagree with you or question your position. Because you're so entrenched in your often White, hetero, cis male world where you're always in control, even the idea of someone outside that realm challenging you was an affront. It's not a problem exclusive to DVDVR. It's all over wrestling. A woman of any color gets questioned. But as soon as many learn a Black woman is giving an opinion, out come the passive-aggressive remarks and not-so-subtle misogynoir. Dealing with either racism or sexism alone is bad. But fighting both is what I have to do every day of my life. And I like to think that I could come here as a place away from all the world's pressure. But who we are doesn't change just because we're shooting the breeze over a comedy skit on RAW. We carry who we are wherever we go. Good and bad. And the fight to have my existence count for something rolls on, even over the most mundane things. All this to say is I read what was being said in the Wrestling Abuse thread. And I wish I was angry or even disappointed. But I've seen it too many times. You're so fixated on the possible 2% of women who MAY lie about sexual abuse. You're not thinking that for every story being told this weekend, there are 4-5 we will never hear. Because the system--designed by White men--doesn't allow for victim survivors to be heard. To receive justice. Everyone asks why women don't report this to the police. We have someone in this very thread doing the 'well actually' routine for Matt Riddle. THAT'S WHY. Riddle doesn't need any of us providing a defense for him. If that's happening on a message board where nothing is at stake, imagine trying to convince someone in power to empathize. I can almost guarantee that in a year, this movement will be archived with women who dared to speak up mysteriously not getting booked, while many of the accused will do business as usual. Because the majority White patriarchy will keep the wheels spinning. And women will still barely be spokes on said wheel. Wrestling is still a good ol' boys' club with White men continuing to wield the most power. Be it in the actual business or on a message board. I can't help but think a lot of the attitudes surrounding the Speaking Out movement connects to Black Lives Matter. That only by walking out in front of your car, blocking roads, and tearing down statues that shouldn't have been put up in the first place are you willing to listen. Even then, it's conditional. You'll return to ignore after these fine messages of how proud you are of those who speak the truth. But you won't be back after the commercial. What am I as a woman, specifically a Black woman, supposed to do? Even when I try to explain my position calmly, it's met with patronizing insincerity. If I yell, I'm then the angry Black woman you'll claim frightens you when I hold zero power in any situation outside of what I create for myself. And I didn't create this vicious cycle of abuse and questioning said abuse. And why do so many of you insist of keeping together the destructive system that allows it? Because ultimately, it serves you pretty well. All because of your biological gender and skin color. It's exhausting. And I'm tired of telling my story. It's not even a good story, anyway.
    41 points
  13. If you don't think someone saying or supporting the equivalent of "a trans person isn't a human being" can hurt someone, please find somewhere else to visit. I may end up being the last person on this board if necessary but that ain't fucking flying around here
    41 points
  14. Back around 2005, Bobby appeared on this ROH show I went to at the Rexplex in North Jersey. Before the show, he was taking pictures with fans for ten bucks a Polaroid. Of course I was on that shit in a heartbeat. When I handed the photo guy a twenty and he gave me my change, the twenty fell on the floor and he didn't see it. I said, "Hey man, you dropped that twenty." Bobby puts his arm around me for the pose and says to me, "You're not originally from New Jersey, are you?" I say, "No." He says, "I know, cause if you were you woulda kept that twenty." And then the pic was taken. Rest in peace to the greatest of all time.
    41 points
  15. I am getting tired of it, so if you have been doing a troll gimmick, I would tone it down or enjoy some board vacations
    41 points
  16. We live in a world where Dean Ambrose is the only Shield member who hasn't embarrassed the company.
    40 points
  17. I've been thinking about all of this, not just your post, and to me the sleaze(sexual misconduct, general perversity) of wrestling has become a part of the institution of wrestling culture - which encapsulates the promoters, performers, and fans. This may not be the case from the 1980's on back, as I believe it really became prevalent after the rise of the shoot interview, and newz sites, when we could hear rumors and tales about the performers real life escapades. It was so salacious that it became an element to the fandom. I'm not just talking about the sleaze here, but the general desire to know about the inner workings of wrestling. People were becoming just as interested in who was a drug addict(Jake Roberts), or who was cheating on whom (Edge/Lita/Hardy) as the comparatively mundane booking issues(Vince can't make up his mind, Charlotte is being pushed too hard, etc.) All of these stories are mixed together so that they have a nearly equal place in the online fandom. For some folks it's no longer enough to enjoy what's on the TV but the drama of the people making what's on the TV. Which is a concept not unique to wrestling per se. Comic Fans want to know who is writing their books before it happens, or Soap Opera Fans have digests about where storylines are going in advance, and what actors are taking time off etc. etc. But for wrestling it seems to go deeper than just "I want to know what's next." Why am I bringing this up here in light of everything going on? I believe this underbelly is part of the attraction now. Not just for some fans, but for wrestlers too. I can't remember the screenwriter's name, but he was telling a story in which he confessed that he was a good guy before he went to Hollywood. Once there he got into the drugs and the women and the madness that comes with Hollywood. But looking back he says that Hollywood didn't corrupt him, but that he went to Hollywood because of the corruption. Why else would you go to Hollywood? A more timely and clearer example would be the examination of police and how their state granted power and immunity attracts a certain type of person looking to abuse those benefits. I believe the same is true of wrestling. I believe some of these wrestlers understood coming in that it was apart of the culture (consciously or subconsciously). That's why it's so easy to get the wrestling community to blacklist and ostracize members who speak up. Even wrestlers who may not have done any of the abuse directly aid those who do because "that's wrestling." The DVDVR Sleaze Thread was legendary as a dirty database of the depravity hidden in wrestling's underbelly. It's telling to me that the guy who started that thread, requesting all the dirty gossip the internet could muster, is now the owner of the second biggest wrestling company in the United States. That is absolutely not to be accusatory, but to reflect how even if Tony Khan is a good guy that even as a fan he has/had a desire to know all the gross details about wrestler's private lives. I've gone down the "who did what with whom" rabbit hole too - few are immune to its perverse allure. Today I scanned the twitter thread on Cornette and several people were commenting on both it and a rumor about Carmella at the same time. "I can't believe Cornette does this and Carmella does that". The rumor about Carmella(I don't feel like repeating it) was based on a misinterpretation of a joke she made on a podcast, but people have continued to speak it as fact while at the same time equating its value to Cornette's wife sexually harassing wrestlers, or the accusations against Matt Riddle. They're responding with silly gifs and jokes because tor these people it's all wrestling. This is the show. So when we come to the phrase you used to describe some fans - "too many of our favorites went down today", I think these people have been drawn to wrestling, and continue to be fans because they know it's a place where this kind of behavior is normalized by the institution of wrestling. If Vince McMahon can be a terrible person without repercussions, if a top drawing wrestler can get a female co-worker fired because she stopped fucking him without repercussions, if a wrestler can be exposed as a bigot and still be rewarded by a company after the fact, then it is going to attract a fanbase who will overlook or even defend the institution in times of moral/ethical crisis. People do not react well to feelings of guilt. I used to love wrestling. I think I still do, but in a very complicated and no longer child-like wonderful way. The more stories I read, and the more I matured as a person, the more I just felt wrong watching some of it - particularly from the WWE, and as we've seen this week it's not just them it's the whole fucking enchilada. I'm glad all this shit is going down. It's the perfect time for a purge of the worst elements of wrestling and to rebuild a better community around it that values accountability more than entertainment. I'm pessimistic that this comes to pass, but it sounds nice to write out. Anyway this was a long post, but I've had all of this kicking around in my head all day and your post was the one that let me figure out how to approach it.
    39 points
  18. I'm celebrating my 25th anniversary as a pro wrestling announcer. I want to thank you all for your expertise, because I hadn't watched any Ring of Honor before I started announcing there. You were very helpful. Top 25 Moments of my First 25 Years as a Pro Wrestling Announcer 1. First Show - Jan. 28, 1994 for American States Wrestling Alliance in Mansfield, Ohio - Dad is my timekeeper and DJ 2. Mom and Dad: "Jeff, you got a phone call from Bubba the Stompin' Hillbilly" 3. Driving Mick Foley to Johnstown, PA so he can be special referee for Jerry Lawler vs. Dusty Rhodes 4. Calling play-by-play for Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe in my Ring of Honor debut, Glory By Honor, in 2002 5. Meeting Eddy Guerrero and ring announcing his match with CM Punk for the IWC and WWF Intercontinental titles 6. Solo commentary and ring announcing for the first IWC Super Indy tournament, featuring Punk, Colt Cabana, Low-Ki and Chris Daniels 7. Doing the Time Warp and Fargo Strut for Lou Marconi's farewell to PWX in Pittsburgh 8. Erie baseball stadium show: Announcing from the pitcher's mound, Norm Connors enters with Lord Zoltan on a bullpen cart before getting chased around the bases by Virgil 9. Announcing Greg Valentine vs. Brutus Beefcake with my brother Rob - Dad took us to our first show in 1985 with Dream Team defending the WWF tag belts against the British Bulldogs 10. Announcing Mike Quackenbush vs. El Hijo del Santo for Future Wrestling Alliance in 2000 11. Cracking up laughing in the ring while introducing Private Eye in Chikara (I hadn't seen the full outfit backstage) 12. Announcing Fabulous Moolah & Mae Young in the back of a van on a rainy outdoor show for "APWF 2000" 13. Announcing Chris Hero vs. CM Punk for 30 minutes in IWC while calming my 1-year-old daughter on my lap 14. Jake Roberts grabs me from behind by the shoulders, so he can take my mic and cut a drunken promo on the crowd in Firestorm Pro Wrestling 15. Cleveland Knights Championship Wrestling 1st Anniversary show with Billy Gunn and Rock & Roll Express 16. Calling a "Gorilla Monsoon Tribute Match" with Hot $hot Drew Lazario 17. Cutting a promo on Norm Connors for selling Steel City Wrestling to Cueball Carmichael for $1 before introducing Blue Meanie as my mystery WWF superstar in the Steel City title tournament 18. Joining UndaGround Wrestling at my cousin's Rubber City Pop Culture Festival 19. Road trips to Philadelphia to call play-by-play for Ring of Honor featuring IHOP pancakes and Sour Skittles 20. Announcing with Joe Dombrowski and Kingdom James (GOAT Announcing Trio) 21. Announcing the first ROH show in Chicago - My daughter rides on my back in a baby backpack in the locker room before the show - Punk & Cabana win the ROH tag belts 22. Producing Eric Bischoff's backstage segments at the New World Rising iPPV for Cleveland Knights Championship Wrestling in 2018 23. Crowd cheers for me before the main event of ROH Revenge on the Prophecy in the company's Pittsburgh debut in 2003 24. IWC departure in 2004 - Thanking my wife, kid and wrestlers - Also announcing Dennis Condrey for the first time (Original Midnights vs. Smothers-Hamrick) 25. My 25th anniversary show in my hometown of Akron at the bottom of the Soap Box Derby hill with Mom in the crowd for the first time Photos and links available on Twitter at the hashtag #Gorman25 Goal for the next 25 years: Become the first announcer ever to work for WWE, UFC and Major League Baseball
    38 points
  19. 38 points
  20. Punk hasn't talked to me since I banned him from the board
    37 points
  21. I don't think this would fit in the toilet.
    37 points
  22. I shouldn't address this, I know, and I'm sorry. But I don't think anyone here is a huge fan of Brie Bella. I, personally, think she's pretty bad at being a pro wrestler. But his fucking wife came to the ring to be with him when he emotionally ended his career and somehow you see ulterior motives there. Because you are a vile, misogynistic piece of shit.
    37 points
  23. Russo tweets the following: which brings about this conversation: Then some corporate social media type wins everything: This is why I can't hate Twitter.
    37 points
  24. Getting ready to set his son up on a date with Emma. His Kayfabe son could form a team with her called Five-Finger Discount.
    37 points
  25. Judging by the look on her face I'm guessing the rebels go over
    36 points
  26. Has one picture ever captured the existence of Seth Rollins and his career more perfectly?
    36 points
  27. I died and died and died when this was tweeted out.
    36 points
  28. JAE'S MATCH ANALYSIS WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE FIGHT: JOHN CENA vs. BROCK LESNAR My favorite part of this match was when John Cena got the shit beat out of him the whole time. Then lost. My least favorite part of this match was when Brock Lesnar got tired of beating the shit out of John Cena and stopped the match by winning.
    36 points
  29. Man, people are so hard on Bret Hart. They seem to forget the guy worked full time on the road for WWF since 1984, always working hard, and most of the time having the best match on the card. The dude was shit on for years and had to fight like a dog to get where he was at. If there was ever an example of paying your dues it was Hart. One of the reasons he was dropping the title was to get some time off, away from the spotlight. Bret would have had that belt back within months of Shawn's terrible drawing if he was still around. Not to mention all the off the radar wrestling camps Bret was having at his fucking house during this period, working with guys like Henry, Shamrock, Edge, and on and on. Sure the guy had an attitude and thought he was the best. Anyone who is great at what they do and is ultra competitive does. Maybe he believes his own hype, so do most guys who get to the top. If you want to talk about guys who left because they weren't featured the way they wanted you would have a huge list. Bret Hart wouldn't be anywhere near the top. And by the way, let's not act like Bret had nothing to be bitter about for years. The legacy he built was forever tarnished. His closest brother is killed in an in ring accident. Friends and family dying young. Dude had every right to be bitter, but he was still good to his fans and told it like it was. When Warrior recently called the WWE out on their bullshit DVD he was a hero. When Bret called them out he was full of himself, or a mark, or a complainer. My dad met Bret in an airport. He introduced himself and told him that Bret was my childhood idol. Bret stopped in the middle of the airport, went through his carry on, found an 8x10, wrote a personal thank you, and signed it. What a bitter prick right? Rant over.
    35 points
  30. Frankly, as a gay guy, I was relieved to learn that queering didn't make the world work. That's a lot of pressure I don't have to deal with.
    35 points
  31. 34 points
  32. I...am....trembling....as I write this. Ladies and Gentlemen, After Over 17 1/2 years since the last time Big Dave Batista bid us farewell and walked sadly into the horizon ...lorched clumsily over the barrier He has finally returned to redeem our own lack of faith in him. This is your last chance to embrace his love and ascend to a world wear Daniel Craig and Zoe Saldana might recognize you as being of the same species as them...and Batista is your guide and savior. I give you... BATISTA FASHION WATCH!!!!!!! TOnight: Also there is, it must be noted for the history books, this Special FASHION WATCH NOTE: Oh God... OHGOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDITSHAPPENING!!!
    34 points
  33. 34 points
  34. Guys, over the last two weeks something special has begun to happen. With the Breakdown of The Shield, two of the three members have been freed to express their passion, their fear, their rage and terror and, yes, their love... ...through clothing. Now Seth Rollins has little control over his inner fembot and has charged headlong into a rapidly slenderized ensemble that will, as soon as he gets the hang of it, result in a remarkably unsettlingly and enticing half-drag burlesque act: So far he's struggling to get it right, as this candid shot from before RAW demonstrates: Dean Ambrose, on the other hand, is a character who clings to his past relationships and counts loyalty as the greatest of human qualities. Thus he will only gradually shed the layers and pockets and leather and black that defined him and remind him of his old crew. But the transformation is happening, people. Slowly but inexorably. And so I give you: The Evolution of Dean: Last week Dean stuck close to his beloved origin look. He actually wore the same damn black t-shirt he always had under all that stuff. All that changed was the lightening of the pants: He also added a black leather jacket (not pictured), a reduction of his original shield gear that he can't yet bear to leave behind. But this Week he inched a littler further away, like a baby fox exploring the world around his mother's den, furtively but excited: Baby steps, Dean! The pattern is clear and I think at this point we can project the upcoming transformations and perhaps even theorize an end point. Based on our experts and computer programs we can confidantly outline the following trends in the coming calendar year: Money In the Bank:
    34 points
  35. I work for our city's minor-league hockey team and we had a post-game meet & greet at the casino last night since it was the last game of the season. After being there a little while, I look over at the Casino bar and see a guy sitting by himself having a Miller Lite. He looked familiar but I could only see him from the side. A short time later while the hockey M&G was still going on nearby, I see the guy fully turn around to check out the scene and holy shit it's RICKY STEAMBOAT. Turns out IWC out of Pittsburgh ran a show at the casino earlier in the evening and brought him in for the weekend. Needless to say, at that point, I completely abandoned all work duties and introduced myself to him. We literally spent the next hour bullshitting at the bar. Everything from Mid-Atlantic to Jay Youngblood to WM 3 and the buildup with Savage to the Flair Trilogy(his favorite was the Clash VI 2 out of 3) to working with Rude & Austin before he retired. Super, super nice guy. He actually asked me for a picture since I bought him a beer which was unexpected and cool. Definitely one of those moments I'll remember for a long time.
    33 points
  36. Finally going home today.
    33 points
  37. 33 points
  38. Cena probably thought Ford wouldn't notice the sale since they couldn't see him
    32 points
  39. New Heavenly Bodies are New Jersey guys. I think Tom Prichard gave them the blessing to do the gimmick. Cornette probably doesn't even know they exist. He should be the ring announcer. "Ladies and gentlemen, or should I say you bunch of white trash, this match is a tag team match. Introducing first, getting the day off from the shoe store he works at, Chuck Taylor. And his partner from a backyard in France, Trent Beret. And their opponents, a couple of NWO wannabes that don't got no respect and didn't never show me no respect and try to shake my hand, and they couldn't never carry me and my brother's jocks, weighing in at a combined weight of less than the vein in my cock...Bill and Randy, The Young Punks." "Listen up, this is the main event so after this match you white trash got to go home to the trailer park. Coming to the ring first, a second-generation wrestler whose daddy was really strong but nowhere near as strong as me, this is Harry Boy Smith. And his partner comes from Texas and only two things come Texas and he's got a tramp stamp so you know which one he is, Lance Hoyt. And their opponents are some more NWO wannabes and they think they're hot shit cause they been IWGP Tag Team Champions. Well, let me tell you, me and my brother were the greatest IWGP Tag Team Champions and we beat everybody over there. Legends! Muto, Chono, Sasaki, Hase, we dropped all of 'em on their heads and these two clowns got beat cause they got distracted by a broad, that's a six at best, cause they ain't never had no pussy before. Here's Karl "Popgun" Anderson and a guy who painted his face up to hide his tears cause he's scared to death to be near the Big Bad Booty Daddy, the big retard Doc Gallows."
    32 points
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