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He got that last show. He looked elated sitting on his evil throne. Ozzy rules. I’m going to find a sharpie to write O-Z-Z-Y on my knuckles.

Aw man. I'm not gonna say you HAVE to watch it, because you don't have to do anything, but if you've got a free half-hour sometime it's really worth a watch. That match really changed my opinion on both of those guys and made me think much higher of them.

The wrestling variety or the food? Trick question because you damn well better like both.

Glad he got all the flowers recently.

I'm surprised no one mentioned Cena vs. Lesnar from Extreme Rules 2012 as his best match. It's my personal favorite Cena match by a pretty big margin. I couldn't have been less interested in wrestling at the time, but my roommate at the time ordered the PPV and I was at the edge of my seat the entire time. I'd have to think about it for more than the few seconds it took to write this, but it's probably a top-10 or so WWE match all time for me.

The Hurricane. Good call.

FYI, Lemmy wrote "Mama I'm Coming Home". Fitting.

IMO I still think the craziest thing Ozzy was ever involved in was that insane lawsuit over Suicide Solution. It was being portrayed as a call from Satan to kill yourself when it was explicitly about the dangers of drugs and could've been used as the anthem of the DARE campaign.

This is the monthly pro wrestling talk thread where we might talk about wrestling, shame people for not liking chicken wings, and whatever else might pop up.

quoting for truth. the saddest day in my life was when i realized that my common sense and problem solving abilities were not shared by everyone.

We posted the main event segment from SHIMMER 70 (from October 2014) on YouTube. It starts as a singles, turns into a tag, then finally Nicole Matthews & Portia Perez & Cherry Bomb & Kimber Lee vs. Kellie Skater & Tomoka Nakagawa & Jessicka Havok & Madison Eagles.

If we're talking wrestling, the Road Warriors using Iron Man as their music is probably the best. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b56iK4WNGr4

What the wrestling world needs is an indie wrestler who works family friendly shows in a mask and full bodysuit, but also works Deathmatch shows unmasked and wearing one of the two traditional deathmatch outfits (ie either trunks, boots, kneepads and wrist tape, OR a singlet and long tights with shorts & high boots/ jeans and a cut off shirt over the top). So on the day that the masked gimmick eventually loses his mask, everyone freaks out that the blood-sucking freak guy was under there the whole time.

This was just posted on Facebook and was the third or so post I saw about it. "Celina 52 Truck Stop is saddened to announce the passing of our longtime Hot Dog Manager, Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy would change out the hot dog water every few months and nobody else managed to do it quite like he did. After ending his shift last night as usual, he informed a coworker that he "was going home." He will be dearly missed." I highly doubt that's true, but either way, it's hilarious. And it's exactly the way he would have wanted it. Other things coming later. RIP

Toni Storm is also likely to have a B/W repaint in that line

I had a real good dumb guy moment this weekend: put on Best of Regal as background noise while I was cleaning the house and was mostly ignoring it. Sort of tuned in to one match and had a little freakout because the commentary sounded like gibberish and I thought I had a stroke or something. It was a Reslo match. The commentary was in Welsh, whose intonation and cadence are just close enough to English that my brain didn't clock it as a foreign language. Things are going great.

Good grief, not wrestling in the wrestling thread!

I'm just going with jeans, a wifebeater and a bag of chips if we're doing 2000s indie nostalgia. Or maybe cargo pants like Sick Nick Mondo.

Since early 2000s nostalgia is in now I'm bringing back the trash bag pants.

When Henry got injured, he started working with JD Drake. But yeah, he definitely disappeared when Drake got injured. He wasn't exclusively a tag wrestler tho. He didn't seem to really require the Cousin storyline. I thought it was remarkable how quickly he could get himself over with unfamiliar crowds. The name helped, but his charisma is really remarkable.

Well, it’s not Helena Bonham Carter at least.

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me, I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead. New feuds, new fun! Best part of the first week after a big PPV is seeing where your favorite fed takes its characters next... #justiceforStokely Well, the years start comin' and they don't stop comin'. Fed to the rules and I hit the ground runnin'. Didn't make sense not to live for fun; your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb. At some point, we need to acknowledge something that's been happening recently in pro wrestling for the fucking grossness of it. STOP GETTING CUPPING TREATMENTS THE DAY OF YOUR MATCH WRESTLERS. JFC. I can't look at anything else! So much to do, so much to see. so what's wrong with taking the backstreets? You'll never know if you don't go! You'll never shine if you don't glow! THIS WEEK! We're still in the BALLROOM OF BLOOD~~ All this and more! (At one point during the pandemic, my friends and I were stoned and listening to music and "Walking On The Sun" came on. Baked off my gourd I thought, wait is this song secretly very, very smart? I was disabused of that thought a few weeks later when Steve Harwell opened his mouth about... a lot of stuff. RIP.) Enjoy your week! Go be an all star!

I have a lot to say about Ozzy but can't at this time. I will however say I was there live in the corner of the nosebleeds and had no idea he was doing a song. But he did, I was delighted and I can officially say I saw Ozzy Osborne live.

There are a couple of lawsuits that could have really affected free speech in this country, involving music. Those are that one, the Judas Priest suicide suit, and the obscenity suits in Florida over 2 Live Crew and Uncle Luke. If those had gone bad, we might have been in a world of shit a little earlier than right now. So, thank those musicians and thank those fucking lawyers for defending music and defending the right to say and play what you want to play.

To keep it wrestling related, here's Ozzy performing "I Don't Wanna Stop" on Smackdown. The song was also Brent Albright's theme in ROH. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7NMCk-VNnAs&pp=ygUXaSBkb24ndCB3YW5uYSBzdG9wIG96enk%3D

I wouldn't be the same without loud, aggressive, heavy music and that wouldn't be the same without Ozzy

I'm in shock. Like, I knew it would happen at some point but I didn't figure it would be so soon after the farewell concert. He sounded so good during the final songs. This one does hurt. All I can say is listen to some Ozzy other than Crazy Train. I have Ozzy's Boneyard on Sirius XM right now. I just can't put into words what his music has done for me in life.

well, guess i'll be blasting Sabbath and Ozzy solo stuff for the rest of the week. I think it'll be fitting to start with the Randy Rhoads tribute.

Well that looks frigging awesome and YAY A HORROR GAME THAT ISN'T FUCKING ZOMBIES!!!!

Be interesting to see what you make of it on a rewatch. It's here btw: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z2dse5Ckbo0&t=541s&pp=2AGdBJACAcoFDkNlbmEgdnMgbGVzbmFy0gcJCfwAo7VqN5tD

I was just pulling Niko's leg. Honestly though, a Big Boom AJ Big Rubber Giy would be funny. Maybe they could do The Outrunners?

Shit, is that true? That suuuuuucks. At the same time, if the prices are the same as the others, I can't justify spending $50+ on a chunk of rubber in these lean times anyway unless it's the Fist of Adonis or something along those lines.

Intelligence is neither things described above. Intelligence is the measure of the ability to learn, which doesn't take into the account of willingness to learn or knowing that you don't know shit. There are plenty of super intelligent people who have never tried to learn a god damned thing. Intelligence is about as useless of a measurement that exists as long as you aren't mentally handicapped. From what I've gathered, anyone of average or above intelligence is smart enough to get a graduate degree, but the amount of time, money, and effort it takes weeds out a bunch of people who might be just as smart if not smarter than everyone with a graduate degree. Almost all of our measures of intelligence are at the very least one way measurements that tell you something about the person being measured, but nothing about how they compare to anyone else. I worked retail until I was 26, and I met some of the most intelligent people who never learned anything, and a bunch of absolute morons who just graduated from college trying to tell them what to do. If I opened a business, I'd try to poach the best person from every retail job around me. With that said, the list of most intelligent people I worked with in retail is absolutely dwarfed by the list of least intelligent people I met working retail.

Well, I'd rather spend money on one figure than four anyway so Toni Storm only it is! Thank fuck as thinking about how much they'd all be is a big "Hell, no" for me. But that Toni will get top billing on my shelf wherever I end up putting her.

Pleather was all the rage.

The other 3 are Big Boom AJ, Big Justice and The Rizzler. Can't wait to see how you display them, Niko.

The Punk/Gunther opening was solid. Rusev/Sheamus was damn good. Dug it even more than their last match. LWO vs. Creeds vs. New Day was solid chaotic fun. The Becky/Lyra was decent. Dug how it led into Bayley/Lyra vs. Raquel/Roxanne. Said match as interesting for a lot of purposeful awkwardness. Not sure I can call it goo das some of that also led to some legit awkwardness. Still ended up having a decent bit of fun watching, and I kind of like what they had Bayley doing here. Sami/Kross was decent. Stephanie/Io was good, much better than their first match that felt more like a light exhibition. This time around it felt like the two were actually trying to win with things escalating nicely up until the non-finish. Shame to see it end like that again, but the most match shenanigans was a nice moments for all involved with Naomi, Chelsea, Secret Hervice, and Rhea getting involved. Its good to see more of the women getting gradually more over beyond typical one or two. The final segment was on the long side, but good with Roman seemingly having a proper face turn, Bron talking shit, and a quick brawl that seemingly sets the stage for a Summerslam tag. The wrestling was solid here with no bad matches and Rusev/Sheamus and Io/Stephanie really standing out. Also dug the general stories being built. Was particularly fun to see the AJ/Dom stuff come to a head and EGA II interact a pinch with American Alpha. Summerslam is looking like a pretty solid show, and I feel like Vaquer has a good match coming at Clash in Paris regardless of who she faces between Rhea, Io, and Naomi. Good show.

I don't care what you say, its name will always be "the knee that beat John Cena"

I don't give a frog's fat ass what he's talking about, but I just needed you to see Sark, because he clearly passed out after too many margaritas in the tanning bed: I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!

The thing I love about an music-free run-in or debut is the rolling wave of a pop that comes from more and more people in the crowd seeing what's happening. There's like a murmur and then a little more and then the full-blown, "Oh shit!". It's great.

Like most bad habits in wrestling, you can blame WWE for this shit. "Your music must play and you must do your signature pose because BRANDING."

OH FUCK!!! YES!!! I didn't know who that was, it couldn't be Heyman though the coat was old him, it vaguely looks like Buh Buh Dudley (fuck you Bully) but he's busy being an asshole elsewhere. DIE JELLY ROLL DIE!!!

RIP One of the greatest of all time. This one hurts for sure. So soon after the epic farewell concert. I heard they would make that in to a concert film next year, will definitely see that in theatre if so. I saw an Ozzy tribute band last year and it reminded me how much I loved so many of his solo songs. My youtube end of year stats had Ozzy as my #2 most listened to artist, this year will now probably be #1 as I'll be listening to all things Ozzy now.

Season 1, Show 30: “Submit to the Master” or Control (and various objects of power) Recap: Will Sexy Star still have two working arms after this show? Is Matanza Cueto going to get seconds at the long pig buffet? I have questions! I want answers! Seedy backstage interstitial: Dario Cueto seems totally disinterested in Chavo Guerrero Jr.’s return to the Temple until the point at which Chavo says the following: “Black Lotus has come here to kill your brother, and this time, she’s been trained by you-know-who.” Dario’s face registers a whole lot of interest after that sentence. He is unhappy that El Dragon Azteca managed to intercept and train Lotus and interestingly enough says to Chavo, “It was your job to take care of her.” Huh. OK, when did Dario and Chavo make a deal that Chavo was supposed to handle Lotus and get her out of/away from the Temple? This is intriguing. So, Dario says that Azteca “wouldn’t dare to step foot in this Temple.” I wonder why he wouldn’t. Chavo theorizes that Azteca, who is a magnetic dude, has inspired someone already in the Temple to be his mole, which is how he was able to intercept Lotus before she could move on Matanza. OK, hold on. We know from the flash-forwards in the first two episodes that Azteca eventually helps Puma out and Konnan is nowhere to be seen. I don't remember who the mole is or if there is one at all, but if there is, I'm calling that Konnan's the mole, is found out and literally fed to Matanza, and Puma is left without a mentor until Azteca inserts himself into that role. Chavo even admits to Dario that he’s taken a deal from Azteca to protect Lotus in exchange for the erasure of his “debt” incurred from attacking Blue Demon Jr., but of course, “A Guerrero is only truly loyal to the highest bidder.” Dario grins like the Grinch planning to spoil Christmas and offers Chavo cash as a counter-bid, but Chavo instead negotiates for around-the-clock protection from his Mexican opps. Interestingly, after Dario agrees to Chavo's terms, he puts the stacks of cash back in his desk drawer and asks Chavo, “Now that we’ve got that out of the way, why don’t you tell me what you really want?” Chavo responds by chuckling out a chuckle full of malice and evil as the scene ends. I fucking loved this segment. I have no idea what’s going on and after spending most of the season slow-playing a lot of the elements of this main story, they just ramped things up in this interstitial with tons of intrigue, but man, I am into all of it. Also, Chavo Jr. is one of the best pro wrestling actors ever. He’s genuinely made it onto my list of like ten or twelve favorite wrestlers ever. I’ll watch whatever he’s doing at this point. Now I guess we have to have a wrestling match, which is kind of a bummer. See, that previous sentence is what Vince Russo wanted me to type about the pro wrestling that he booked, but he sucks something fierce at telling stories or developing characters or doing pretty much anything wrestling-related. What’s the opposite of a bonus? A demerit? Anyway, a demerit to this unfortunately-booked wrestling match is that Jack Evans is a part of it, and no, I don’t want to watch him wrestle Argenis. Go back to whatever discussion Chavo and Dario were having, please. Speaking of Dario, he steps out of his office and shits on Argenis for being unimportant and Evans for being a oh-fer loser. This matchup sucks, Dario says, and he’s right, so he tries to spice it up by offering one of the seven Aztec medallions as a prize. It’s not going to work, but whatever. Jack Evans (whose entrance tonight inspired Vampiro to explain the etymology of the term gringo) asks the crowd WHO’S BETTA than him, and not one single smark in that Temple crowd yelled back KANYON. Evans does make me laugh by yelling about [HIS] TESTICLES while selling in a Shelly Martinez-like exclamation. Otherwise, this match is passable. Evans scores a nice roll-through into an armbar in there. The rest of it feels clearly choreographed to me. Striker has to bust out an “it doesn’t have to be pretty to be effective” to cover for a supremely shitty spot in which Evans does a contrived springboard off the apron into a terrible-looking rana, to give you an idea of what I’m talking about. Evans manages to duck an Argenis lariat, hook Argenis’s arms, and backslide him with a bridge for three. Seedy backstage interstitial: Dysfunction Junction has to defend their trios tag titles tonight, and Dario has granted Daivari and Ryck the shot. They just need one more person to join them. Ryck suggests his cousin (but maybe not close friend) Willie Mack, who agrees to join them, but Brian Cage busts in from nowhere and suggests that he’d be a better partner than Mack. To indicate his superiority as a choice, he jumps Mack and kicks the shit out of him. Ryck thinks about getting involved, but Daivari convinces him to let things play out. Ryck sure looks conflicted about it, though, and he especially looks conflicted about Daivari telling him to leave his fallen cousin behind. Seedy backstage interstitial: Chavo Jr. is a lot like Mac in It’s Always Sunny: always playing all the sides at the same time so that he comes out on top. He finds Black Lotus in the surprisingly well-lit locker room and reports to her that he’s convinced Dario to let her wrestle in the Temple. Is this the ladies' locker room? Do the men get the dingy, poorly-lit one? Anyway, Lotus wants to stay laser-focused on killing Matanza, but Chavo tells her that he’ll handle the part where he finds the key that holds Matanza captive and let him out so that she can finish him off after her debut match tonight. Lotus isn’t a total idiot; she knows that Chavo is bullshitting her and blocks a sudden Chavo sneak punch, then kicks the shit out of him. Chavo, in pain, yells NOW and signals the two remaining flunkies to rush in and back him up, but Cisco and Cortez fail miserably at attacking Lotus. They at least succeed at distracting her enough so that Chavo can recover, grab a pipe, and lay Lotus out. Then, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out handcuffs. Almost needless to say, the whole episode could just be interstitials at this point, and I’d be fine with that. Delavar Daivari, Big Ryck, and Brian Cage are quite the odd trio, aren’t they? They get a Lucha Underground Trios Tag Team Championship shot against an even odder trio: the reigning champions Dysfunction Junction (Ivelisse Velez, Angelico, and Son of Havoc). Ivelisse is still on crutches and in a cast, but she hops onto the apron to defend her gold anyway. What follows is an acceptable trios tag match. Havoc blind tags Angelico as the latter picks up steam on a rope run toward a downed Cage, and their argument with one another causes the babyface shine segment to end abruptly, though Daivari immediately loses control when he tags in. Havoc mostly controls, gets up a head of steam on a rope run…and is blindly tagged back by Angelico. Good spot there. Meanwhile, Ivelisse continues to beg for a tag that she’s not getting on account of her busted ankle. She gives up and decides to go sit at ringside since no one will tag her in. It’s very funny to me that she nudges a whole row of fans over so she can scootch herself into a seat. The antics of Dysfunction Junction are fantastic. The match is whatever, but Ivelisse yelling invective at her team from the front row cracks me up. Meanwhile, the heels are doing dumb contrived spots like Ryck and Cage trading off during a stalling vertical suplex on Angelico. Whatever, fuck those guys. They’re boring. Get to the finish or at least show more of Ivelisse chewing out her team members and making fans retrieve her crutches for her. She is absolutely killing me right now. She eventually hops on the apron and distracts Daivari, who grabs her. Texano runs out on the other side and takes out Ryck; Daivari releases Ivelisse and goes after him, never seeing the Angelico knee that cracks him in the side of the head. Angelico then hits his over-the-post plancha on Cage at ringside while Havoc quickly goes up and drops an SSP on Daivari for the victory. The good parts of that match were all in the character work, and that mostly in Ivelisse being an energetic whirl of entertaining activity. Seedy backstage interstitial: Chavo Jr. and the flunkies drag a gagged Black Lotus into Dario’s office; Dario plans to keep her hostage in a cell across from the dreaded Matanza. Locking up a young woman looking to get revenge on the person who killed her parents directly across from the person who killed her parents is such a depraved heel act that even Vince McMahon Jr. is shocked and appalled. Pentagón Jr. versus Sexy Star in this Submission Match has been built well enough that I want to actually stick around for the match, but otherwise, I’d want to hit fast forward to see the next interstitial that ends the show. Striker has to reinforce the “Sexy Star is luchador(a) Chyna” thing after Vampiro suggests disgust that Penta might break her arm as part of this match by interjecting that she’s a luchador and she’s willing to risk it. Penta, meanwhile, promises for real and for true to finally snap Star’s arm as an offering to his Dark Master. Of course, he’s looking into the crowd as he says this, so she forearms him from behind before he can claim that he is without an inkling of fear. Penta slaps the shit out Star, which rattles Vampiro. Striker has to be the egalitarian voice of reason. I sort of enjoy this match even though it’s between two wrestlers whom I am not exactly excited to watch in the ring. Star avoids one arm breaker attempt and counters into a front facelock. Striker lists three women as modern-day idols for the kids: Ronda Rousey, Danica Patrick, and Sexy Star. I mean, what a list! If my kid looked up to those three scumbags, they’d be so fucked that I’d proactively lock them in the basement like Dario did Matanza. Jesus. Star wins an obligabrawl and then tries a kneebar back in the ring that Penta should probably be easily able to turn considering his weight advantage. He escapes, and when Star runs at him, he does a move I’ve never seen in my life, I don’t think: He flips her into Tombstone position, then crosses her ankles and bends them backward. This is like the raddest standing submission I’ve ever seen. If you just put together every cool spot Penta has in a highlight package, he’d look like maybe the greatest wrestler ever. Since that doesn’t earn a submission, Penta flips her into powerslam position, but she flips out and into an armbar that she can’t quite lock in. Striker rightly points out that Star maybe doesn’t have the submission prowess to finish Penta, which is a good kayfabe point, as Star hits two kicks and is popped with a Penta superkick in return. Then, Penta locks a, uh, modified Texas Cloverleaf on Star. Star makes the ropes. Penta lands another superkick, and On a thigh-slap scale where “least obvious” is Prince Puma, “most obvious” is Fenix, and dead in the middle is Alberto El Patrón, these thigh slaps score an…Alberto. The past couple of shows have spent a lot of time using the raised guardrail for spots. There was one in tonight’s opener that I didn’t mention, there were the Puma and Fenix spots last episode, and now there’s Star hitting a crossbody off the raised railing to Penta on the floor after the match wanders back out there. Star tosses Penta back in the ring, lands a double-leg takedown on a rebounding Penta after shooting him in, and rolls over into a Canadian Maple Leaf half-crab. Or, um, a Mexican Eagle half-crab, actually. At this point, Super Fly slides into the ring and the savvy crowd starts booing before Fly can even move to punch Star in the face. After Fly wears out Star, it doesn’t take much at all for Penta to quickly land a package piledriver and then lock Star in a hurty-looking surfboard with a neck vise for the submission. Vampiro was not asked to save Star from this arm breaking that Penta prepares to inflict on her in his post-victory celebration, but he does anyway. The crowd is hyped about this faceoff, but Vampiro realizes that maybe he should have just stayed seated, mouths out a frustrated curse toward himself, and storms away from the ring and back toward the locker room without further incident. Seedy backstage interstitial: Vampiro stands in front of a mirror in the dingy locker room, where is trying to keep the weird face-painted freak that is really who he is lodged deep inside as, cleverly, throwaway comments that Vampiro has made in earlier episodes while on commentary echo in his mind, including one about having to go to therapy so that he’d stop doing crazy things like trying to set Sting on fire, trying to dump Asya and Dale Torborg into coffins, or palling around with the Insane Clown Posse. Vampiro hears voices in his head, they counsel him, they understand, they talk to him, but he really would prefer that they stop. Then he goes full-on Twin Peaks and cracks the mirror with his head like Dale Cooper being possessed by BOB, as in this scene is a direct rip of that scene. And no, I am not bagging on it for being a direct rip of that scene. It’s a striking scene and well re-purposed here. SEE BRO, SEE, I TOLD YOU A SHOW WITH ALMOST ALL STORY AND MINIMAL WRESTLING COULD WORK, BRO. SEE, BRO, SEE, YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE A LOT OF VIOLENCE, BRO. THERE WAS NOT ENOUGH SEX IN THIS EPISODE THOUGH, BRO, LIKE WHAT IF PENTA RIPPED SEXY STAR’S TOP OFF BEFORE HE TRIED TO BREAK HER ARM, BRO? LIKE, BRO, THE FELLAS IN THE CROWD WOULD HAVE LOVED THAT, BRO. Oh no, now I hear voices in my head, specifically Vince Russo’s. Let me go find a mirror to bash my skull into. Anyway, excellent show. 4.25 LU-CHA chants out of 5.

Oh yeah, I always liked Mondo's baggy pants tucked into high boots look. Gave him an interesting silhouette.

All this reminds me of: 1) Vampiro on commentary IMPLORING the sound guy to PLAY MY FUCKING MUSIC COME OOONNNN before he would run in 2) Wheatus playing Spider Nate Webb out to the ring at a GCW show and the fans didn't pop for Webb at all at first because he entered on the stage and fans mistook him for a band member

I'd confirm if it was on before taking a big endeavor based off this experience, I'm gonna call ahead for sure.