NWA Wildside Hardcore Hell Road Report (03/27/04)
PAS: Phil Schneider
TKG: Tom Karro-Gassner
PAS: We hit the airport and both get selected to go through extra security. That is what Tom gets for buying the tickets with his Hamas Master CardTKG: DAMN! And I get “randomly selected” on the way back too. In 93 I was in Europe and had grown a red beard. After the third trip through airport security and the second barslut telling me I looked just like Jerry Adams…I decided to shave the beard. Irish Catholic girls aren’t Mormon girls so the airport hassle wasn’t worth it (if she won’t give up the ass, neither will I). But maybe its time I grow the beard back cause Irish terrorist may be a better look for traveling than swarthy Semitic at this point.
PAS: We meet up with Wes and head off to Abby’s for some grub. Security guard in front sayd their was an electrical fire and redirects us to the mall where Abby has a food court booth. All Black Atlanta mall owns, with all the throwbacks, wigs and nubian sculpture you could want. Food was fucking off the hook, really great sides.
TKG: I was all worried that we were going to miss eating at Abby’s again. The security guy briefly mocks us asking if we know what Malls look like and then tells us “The mall has a lot of security, so you can ask them where Abby’s is”. The Mall has a lot of security…I LOVE me a Mall that feels the need to have a lot of security.
TKG: In the parking lot across from the Big Lots store there is a guy selling bootleg socks out of the back of a van. Yes, bootleg socks. All the looks of the Big Lots socks, but without the designer markups.
PAS: I really should have stopped and gotten some bootleg socks. That is my only regret from the trip.
TKG: The store across from the food court had the GREATEST ScarFace shirt Ever. It had the SF initials filled in with black and white shots from movie layed out so it looked like camo. Plus then it had Pacino holding gun done in the style of a slavery era silhouette on top.
TKG: Man were the sides great. The macaroni and the “hair” on the chick working at “The Dragon” would have made the whole trip worth it. Someone really needs to franchise Abbys. How a French Canadian and his Japanese wife, make such great soul food is a mystery. Wes plays us some Kilo “Here’s my finger, here’s my thumb…Everybody lets Donkey Kong!” , and we look for our motel. We pass an adult video store that advertises “We have latest Lil Jon and the Eastside Boys adult film”.
TKG: We find the motel which is adjacent to a Black strip club (shares the parking lot)… FUCK!!!! As neither me or Phil have enough money to spend for this trip. Damnit Ludacris introduces headstands to the Atlanta stripper move repertoire, we’re right next to a strip club and have no money. Guaranteed this will be motel we stay in every time Juster runs Atlanta.
PAS: Wildside is held in a barn which looks like it should have a moonshine still. We were sitting in front of a goth guy in full makeup and leather outfit. Juggalos are a subgroup I just don’t get at all.
TKG: Wes was telling us to stay away from restroom, but damn was it a nice restroom compared to JAPW one. Dusty was there for autographs but he appeared to be in disguise hiding in cowboy hat and sunglasses in a corner. We go across the street to buy soda and some guys in a pickup flash us some sort of Klan handsignals. I’m relieved that I look less Semitic at night than I do in the airport. Maybe I won’t grow the beard.
SKEETER FROST vs. C.J. MCMANUS vs. SCOTT HOTSHOT
PAS: MacManus and Hotshot were guys who drove with folks and showed up with gear. Frost is a regular Wildside guy. This match was just a bad idea, as you had three guys who are green, have never worked each other and you throw them in a three way. Lots of awkward dangerous moves, that left you sure someone was going to Oro themselves. Frost was the only guy who looked trained.
TKG: The Wildside crowd sure isn’t a NE wrestling crowd. When the Wilside crowd doesn’t dig a match they’ll just sit on their hands as opposed to loudly shitting on it. And well, you could hear a pin drop during this match as crowd was silent. And well the match deserved that silent treatment. One of the three wrestlers was an albino. But he wasn’t working an albino gimmick. Its wrestling, if you’re an albino…you work an albino gimmick, come out in a bunny mask (stolen Evad’s bunnyhop finisher) or get on mic and stall a lot complaining that you can’t work until they dim the lights some. The albino stunk in the ring too, but jeeze the least he could have done is have a Brother Ali verse written on his tights. At one point during the botched headdrop contest section of match it looked like one of the head drops knocked some color back into his face. But even that wasn’t saving this. Skeeter had nice tope and nice forearms (especially compared to “the icon’s” “forearms”) but no one looked good being stuck in this.
“MR. 630” JERRELLE CLARK vs. FAST EDDIE
PAS: For the last year or so “Mr 630” Jerrelle Clark has been my default indy name when I needed an spot guy indy name to make a joke. FYI “This Liger v. Hashi match had clean execution, but was worked 50 yard line, like it was Mr. 630 v. Mr. 630” or “Low-Ki went from having great wrestling matches in the U.S. to wrestling like Mr. 630 in Zero One.” So when I saw that the iconic Mr. 630 was working the TWA highspot blind guy, I was expecting a amusing clusterfuck. It was actually pretty dissapointing how much Mr. 630 ruled. He comes out to a signature Miami Bass tune “Mr. Six Thirtay,” and his offense consisted of really great looking takedowns into arm bars. TWA highspot blind guy does a really nice job selling and this was a really good match. The 630 sure had a lot of twists, but was the least impressive thing he did in the match. I guess I have to pick a new indy name to mock Chaysn Raynce? Rob Eckos? J.V. Insanity?
TKG: There must be some Us indy worker named Saxxynn or something. Phil was Angry, ANGRY at loosing the ability to use Mr. 630 as a running joke anymore. Fuck all he needed to have was his own intro music and he ceased to be a goofy Florida indy name. Than he busts out nothing but Kendo Kashin spots. And does them really well. Fast Eddie is working heel here. A blind guy as heel? According to Phil Wildside is kayfabeing his blindness and covering it by having him work a dumb stooge fuckup heel gimmick. His heel finisher is a Russian Leg Sweep and damn does he have a nice Russian Leg sweep. Eddie sold arm well and the two of them worked really well on the mat together. And in a spot that the Midwest wrestlers need to steal for the next WORD show, Jarrelle Clark knocks Fast Eddie back first into the ropes. Clarke than 619s into crucifix.
JASON CROSS vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN
PAS: This started out really great, as it was a brawl with dives that really look like brawling dives. Fell apart in the middle a bit, but Coleman looks really star like. He had a bunch of nifty spots that involved him spinning around the ring pole, really should be jacked by Lita or Nidia.
TKG: Jason Cross facially looks a lot like a young Robin Williams. He also sells a lot like Mork which was kinda cool. Like Phil said, yeah this match started with a bunch of dives. And the dives were all paced like a brawl, strikes on the floor. It was odd as it kind of fell apart when they brought it back into ring as they didn’t maintain that sense of intensity/hatred that the dive section involved. You wanted them to take it back out of the ring. I wanted them to take it back out of the ring , and thats me whose so not a dive freak. They did the mirror springboard double clothesline spot which is a spot I normally hate and made it look all hatefull. Both guys on apron look across ring at each other and were like yeah, C’mon motherfucker and hit it. I didn’t get the Coleman looked like a star vibe. Coleman looked alot bigger than he did in Omega and has gotten really good at working babyface, communicating that he is babyface to the crowd, with the crowd, etc. but untill the botched finish I was more impressed by Patch Adams.
TKG: After this they did a mic segment between Onyx and Ray Gordy, which lead to a impromptu match between Onyx and Michael Adrian. Onyx impressed me here as Adrian absolutely stunk. Adrian was really tall and had a really funny painted on tan with full bright orange palms. How do you tan your palms darker than your arms? Adrian also was wearing the hilarious heel g string under track pants. Both of those were enough to amuse me but damn did his actual work stink. Connect with something.
PAS: The crowd cheer for Onyx by chanting his name World Series Darryl Stawberry style. OOOONYYYYYXXXX, OOOOONYYYYXXXX. It took a long time figuring out that he was actually a face.
TEXAS DEATH CLUB (MASADA/TODD SEXTON) vs. MURDER ONE/SLIM J
PAS: Murder One is someone I really liked, because he was old and actually looked like a guy who just got paroled and is working Wildside on work release. Slim J is a fun Ricky Morton in this as he takes a big beating and they time their hope spots well. My big problem with this match is that during the face in peril section Slim J was kicking out of alot of finishers. There is no need to do a spike piledriver for a two count in this kind of match, an elbow drop would work just as well.
TKG: I’ve dug Slim J in the past and have liked both members of TDS before. Plus TDS were both wearing sweet retro basketball shoes. But yeah Murder One stood out here. I’m also on the Murder-One bandwagon, as the neon green Gangsta tights with the neon green homicide outline are as Old School Gangsta as a Arabian Prince solo 12 inch. Murder-One was really fun on the apron getting over action in ring. Threw some of the best punches of anyone on the nights card. I aslo really enjoyed his fighting out of getting leg swept off the apron spot a ton. Texas Death have a bunch of great combo finishers but it really felt like they were just killing them here for two counts. You don’t even need an elbow drop. I mean a bunch of stomps work well too.
MATT SYDAL/DELIRIOUS vs. “NITRO” NICK HALEN/JAY FURY
TKG: Wow does Matt Sydal have rosey cheeks. I mean damn he has the face of a 12 year old. Delirious is really over with the crowd but did absolutely nothing for me here. Sydal though really looked really solid. Really nice strikes, nice SSP and both ate and sold offense really well. He looks like a guy that could be in a Super 8 in a couple years, On the other hand I kind of don’t want to see him get bigger gigs, I don’t want to read about Quinones pulling a gun on him, I don’t want to see him with a TNA contract in a car stuck under Jeremy Borash while Russo licks his ear while proclaiming how he’s so young and clean so it’s not like it isn’t Christian this time. Sydal needs to grow a beard, get some tattoos and paste on some back hair, otherwise its just uncomfortable.
PAS: Those rosey cheeks were ridiculous. It was like he was working a Raggedy Andy gimmick.
TKG: Nitro Nick Halen and Jay Fury both have enormous heads. I mean huge skulls. I kept on expecting them to do some headbutt based offense. I don’t even need stereo topes, or any kind of fancy Araken headbutt offense but I was expecting some headbutts. Jay Fury had lots of good looking leg lariats but c’mon your leg is normal sized, your head is gigantic…hit em with the head.
PAS: Nitro Nick Halen looked and worked a lot like Quiet Storm. It was like he was a guy who grew up watching Quiet Storm matches and emulated him. Way more QS in Halen then Dynamite in Beniot. For a guy who gets really pimped, Delirious did nothing for me. He was working a Willow the Whisp gimmick, with a lamer mask and weaker offense. I really dug the finish of this, as Fury does a Matrixish thing to avoid a leg lariat, he successfully uses it early in the match, but when he tries it a second time, Delirious leg sweeps him, so Sydal can hit a springboard SSP. Really cool finish, and it amuses me how much flippy wrestling has evolved that Sydals springboard SSP barely brushes the top five of crazy in ring dives.
TKG: They start to announce womens match when Jeff Lewis comes out to do mic work about the masked Mr D. who keeps on ruining his matches. He implies that he knows that Mr D is Jacey North who had bought a ticket to watch the show ringside. End result is Jacey North is reinstated, jumps the rail and theres a real fun pull apart brawl. Then Jacey celebrates his reinstatement with the fans. This was fun angle. I was raised on the James Boys and all.
PAS: They had clearly been building this for a while, as the pop for Jacey’s reinstatement was the biggest of the night. Jacey had been driving down from New Orleans just to sit in the audience, that is freaking dedication.
TKG: And about this time I realize that Behrens really paces cards well as this felt like the perfect place for this angle. And well whether I liked the way any match was layed out or not they all seemed to be in the right place on the card. This is something I don’t always find in many of the indies I go to where you feel like” why is this angle done after this match where both kill the other?”. Often you feel like the angle sections of shows are seperate from the wrestling sections. The sense of flow is something I don’t find in WWE shows alot where “hey they are running the same exact match one right after the other with the same finish”. The Wildside Card has a real nice flow to it. Mr D’s reinstatement is really satisfying angle and it felt emotionally satisfying within the card structure.
DAIZEE HAZE vs. JENNY TAYLOR vs. KRISSY VAIN
TKG: This went too long. Been watching alot of WWE lately as doing these workrate reports and it amuses me how “WWE Divas” all seemed to have their make up applied by mysoginist drag queens. As they all are dressed and made up to look like what a queen thinks a DIVA should look like and so come accross as all harsh and hard and drag queen like. Kansai has softer features than Marlena at this point. Odd seeing Taylor and Vain here who looked like they know how to apply makeup properly, and well all three of these women are too feminine looking to be a WWE Diva. Daizee Haze has a really British looking face, and kind of wrestles British. Shes got this hippy Jamaican thing going, so I think she may be working Ari Up gimmick which rules. Taylor and Vain are from Carolina CWF but I had never noticed them before as was always distracted by the supermarkethoes.com hottness of Brandi Alexander. Vaine is introd as being from Saxs Fifth Ave. and is working a Lana Starr type gimmick. Not sure if shes as good on the mic as Lana but shes great at working the gimmick in the match as she sells stuff in this really great beauty queen screech as worried about breaking a nail and has fun schtick. The albino from the opener could really use to watch some Krissy Vain work…as well a little schtick, maybe that first match could have been watchable.
PAS: Yeah Taylor and Vain looked like runners up in local beauty contests, rather then coke addicted strippers with botched backroom boob jobs. The actual wrestling in this was Nitro Girl catfight level bad, but I really enjoyed the shtick. There was a hearing impared guy in the audience in an open shirt who was yelling obscenities at Vain then signing them at his friend . Really hate Hat Guyish fans, but you have to like the misogynist deaf guy “Urrr a hurrr, suuuk my caaak”
CHRISTOPHER DANIELS/RAINMAN/AZRAEL vs. A.J. STYLES/ALTER BOY LUKE/GABRIEL
TKG: Ok when we were planning this trip to Atlanta I went looking for Atlanta indys that we could go to in addition to the lucha show. I really wanted to go to one of the Rocky King shows run in Atlanta elementary schools but couldn’t find any info and don’t know if they still run or not. And really really wanted to go to a Christian wrestling show. Looked to me that there were at least five Chrisitian feds in Georgia (don’t know if they share talent , do they feud? are there factions?) and really wanted to go, as there is no equivalent in north east. Unfortunately I couldn’t find any running this weekend, and even Nikita seemed to be out of town. Really dissapointed. So yeah I was stoked by this main event. Angel Gabriel, Altar Boy and the Born Again wrestler as faces vs. Daniels Azrael and Rainman. Awesome. You add Dusty in the faces corner, and Bailey in the heels and it was a thing of beauty. Damn does Bailey look like a swarthy Semite live. You don’t notice that on TV but live he makes Fyvush Finkle look WASPY. I mean looking at him made me realize I could never get a job where I’d have to wear a suit, cause thats not a good look.
TKG: Wow when did Azrael get this good? I remember him being the better member of his tag and always thinking that it was weird that CZW brought in Gabriel instead…but don’t remember him being this good. He looked really great here as he worked really tight and bumped well. He really felt like worker of the match. Daniels really surprised me here as one of my criticisms of Daniels is that I don’t think he’s particularly smart at working heel. Here he stooged big time for Altar Boy Luke rolling out of ring and doing lots of Austin Idol stretching and stalling to avoid hooking up with Luke. Daniels is actually good at doing the Idol spots, its a shame he doesn’t do them more often as they did alot to get over the Altar Boy as legit and built heat. Altar Boy Luke pretty much stunk but he did have nice dives. Gabriel did most of the selling as face in peril, and was fine in that role…his face in peril stuff worked alot better than Slim J’s earlier in the night since he was being hit with less complicated offense. He manages to tag out and they move to finisher section as heels fight to save each other and dueling refs and Dusty hits elbow on all the heels ringside and does the full flip flop and fly elbow on the heel ref after match and heel ref takes a giant jump up in the air floating verticle Cornette style bump. Really really satisfying main event, capping a satisfying card.
PAS: This was really great and I want to second the greatness of Azreal. I remember him being sort of a highflyingish guy, but he got really fat and good. He looks like he should be working a backwoods Militia gimmick with Hirotaka Yokoi. Rainman was a guy I wasn’t feeling as he looked good when he brawled and did throws, but he was doing a bunch of kipups and junior shit, which he is too big to do well, and not big enough to be an impressive big guy doing kip ups. He really needs to simplify his offense. Styles and Daniels did mostly avoid doing their routine, but they did do a rope running section which was out of place. I do love heel stalling Daniels.
PAS: We head off to Applebee’s after the show and it was quite odd. There was two dozen girls all wearing t-shirts which read “Got Crabs?.” Before I realized they all worked at Joe’s Crab shack I thought Georgia had really strict truth in advertising laws. I am all for girls advertising their diseases: “Manic Depressive” Baby Tees, “Chlmydia” Lapel Buttons, “What Would Jesus Do” Bracelets. The other thing was, when groups of girls go out in D.C., there is usual some vartiation, a fat girl, a Korean. All of these girls where identical, their wasn’t even a brunette. I can imagine running game in this situation must be nearly impossible, you go to the bathroom and you can’t tell which girls have already shot you down.
TKG: We get back to the motel and watch late night TV. There is some sort of religous power lifting show that is awesome as they rip phonebooks, put their head through ice blocks, break handcuffs, lift telephone pole, etc. It was neat as it was clear that they worked the crowd for alot of the stunts as they worked struggling till they got the crowd to clap and pray enough that they could complete the physical feat. The sermon the Samoan gave about Jesus and the parable of the guy punching a drug dealer to steal his drugs may be the oddest TV sermon I’ve ever heard.