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DYNAMITE- 7/20/2022!


DEAN

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Sorry I'm late.  Had to eat, wash dishes and take a shower.  I am squeaky clean. SQUEAKY CLEAN!  Darby Allin and Brodie King got at it!  I assume Darby gets his win back.  Allin dies early!  Jesus,  Allin leans into a punch to the face while running.  Jayzeus!  CHOP OF THE YEAR!  This is a match made in HELL!  Brodie channels a bouncer and throws Allin around by his pants!  This is a match made in wrestling fan heaven.  Darby Allin is the best pro wrestler on earth, maybe.  Brodie King is VADER-like beating the HEAT on our sympathetic babyface. Allin is a bumping MACHINE.  I await the INTERNATIONAL FEED- now having to watch this like a rube.  Jesus,  in the tiny screen, Allin falls ass over teakettle to the floor.  We are back to the big screen so one can expect a fiery babyface comeback.  AND ALLIN HITS HIS BEST TOPE OF THE YEAR!  Allin in the TREE OF WOE!  (Hold on.  My wife just brung over some blackberry cobbler.) Okay!  Brodie King misses the Cannonball!  CODE RED for two!  Allin tries a couple of submissions.  Oh GEEZ,  A CANNONBALL WITH DARBY ON HIS BACK!  This match is fucking insane.  NINE COUNT AFTER THE SLEEPER ON THE APRON!  GNARLIEST REVERSE K-DRILLER OF THE YEAR!  I guess Allin isn't getting his win back. STING!  MALAKAI BLACK!  MIRO!  Oh yeah, this is awesome.  House of Black versus Dudes With Attitudes!  MIRO is a DUDE WITH ATTITUDE!  That is awesome.  It's Cole Carter!  He's very Dante Matrtinesque ON THE STICK~!  Chuck Taylor and Trent Berretta are about to get beaten down by the Blackpool Combat Club.  LORD REGAL!  WHEELER YUTA! X! BILLY ZOOM! JON MOXLEY!  Mox kills time until the Billy Zoom guitar solo!   Trent ducks Wheeler!   Trent and Yuta GO AT IT!  Trent with a BEAUTIFUL Dangerous Backdrop.  Yuta bumps big on the floor by Chuck Taylor!   OH MAN!  This thing heated up!  Mox chases Taylor with a chair.  This is a GREAT heel turn by the Best Friends.  Yuta makes a fiery babyface comeback as we go back to the big screen!  MOXLEY IS FUCKING AWESOME AFTER A HOT TAG!  MOX GETS CRUSHED BY TAYLOR!  Man, this match is fucking GREAT!  This is the best Chuck Taylor has looked since being in AEW.  That was fucking awesome.  Mox was fucking GREAT in that.  Trent was fucking great in that.  Yuta was fucking AWESOME in that.  (My wife just allowed me to get the ROH PPV.  YAAAY! Blackberry Cobbler and a PPV all in one night!)  OH NO!  A CAKE! Being Pro Wrestling,  that can mean only one thing.  AH!  Smart Mark Sterling!  I know who is going into the CAKE!  YES! AEW is all about tradition.  Sterling IS Jim Cornette!  It's Christian Cage!  It's Demonic Luchasaurus!  Pillman is growing his hair out of mullet and into an early 80s burner hairstyle.  Demonic Luchasaurus IS Lance Archer.  Christian Cage is a jerk and pins an already dead Varsity Blond.   BOOO!  A face turn by Luchasaurus is the last thing we need.  Oh jeez, a rap battle?  Rampage may be rough.  Cole Carter (or Kole Karter?) and Ricky Starks battle it out for THE STRAP~!  Starks is OVER in Atlanta.  Karter hits a very nice dropkick.  He looks good on offense.  He should DEFINITELY be a third Ass Boy.  IATIF, because Starks looks like having fun in the picture in picture.  Karter hits a finisher and then misses a finisher and Starks beats him with a Spear.  And he challenges anyone in the back!  DANHAUSEN!  Ah, next week.  Dax Harwood does a FUCKING GREAT promo about his daughter.  Christopher Daniels gets to SHOWBOAT his awesome Moonsault Friday!  Jade Cargill has her family here so she is wrestling face.  The Baddies are blue.  Athena and Willow are mauve.  Kiera Hogan is wearing tiny paunts.  Willow Nightingale and Athena do a HIGHSPOT TRAIN!  It's WCW 1997!  They are working this like Jade is Robert Gibson and Hogan is Ricky Morton.  Oh actually, Hogan tags in Jade and Athena becomes Ricky Morton.  Man, Athena is SO good.  Athena and Jade are MAGIC!  That was kind of a wreck but a lot of fun.  ThunderStorm vs Britt Baker and Jamie MOTHERFUCKING Hayter Friday!  AWESOME!  Alison Kay is on the ROH PPV!  Jericho channels Thrillseeker Jericho!  Jericho bumps big into the barbed wire ropes.  Oh man,  Jericho is SPEWING PLASMA OIUT OF HIS HEAD!  Jericho is fucking great.  Eddie puts Jericho through a barbed wire table!  ANNA JAY TURNS HEEL!  ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!  This match is great.  SAMMY IS BACK!  Jericho with his Judas Thing and Jericho wins!  That was about the amount of maniac booking you need for a match this insane.  That was fucking great.  AEW RULES THE MOTHERFUCKING WORLD.

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I thought it was a great show but that main pissed me off. Haven't been in the best mood for a myriad of reasons but do you really have to do Eddie like that? It doesn't make any sense, despite my mood or partisanship. Just do the favor and give Eddie the win and do the Sammy crap after. 

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1 minute ago, Curt McGirt said:

I thought it was a great show but that main pissed me off. Haven't been in the best mood for a myriad of reasons but do you really have to do Eddie like that? It doesn't make any sense, despite my mood or partisanship. Just do the favor and give Eddie the win and do the Sammy crap after. 

Fuck it, give Sammy and Tay 100k and 3 months off for a honeymoon.

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I almost turned off the main - hardcore matches aren’t my thing - but glad I didn’t.  The visual of the JAS stepping between the bars after Tay fumbled with the keys was amusing.

Ruby getting suckered by evil Anna Jay and tossed into things is probably the best use of Ruby.

the NXT goomba who got cut for failing a drug test fell upward.  Scratching my head how he rated an interview segment and tv spot.  I wonder If I could get a contract if someone told TK Vince released me.

Ok show until the main.  Kinda glad Jericho won, but it seems to indicate this feud is going to continue and it really shouldn’t.

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10 minutes ago, HumanChessgame said:

After the exploding barbed wire match between Moxley and Omega I was expecting the main event to be a dud and it lived up to my expectations. The dog and pony show ending where it revealed the cages couldn't even contain the people locked in just made the whole thing look like a joke.

 

I would like to see how Hager got out because I cant see hin squeezing through the bars easily 

Edited by hammerva
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1 minute ago, John from Cincinnati said:

I know everybody's having fun dunking on the main event booking, but what was that two week Luchasaurus turn. 

if they ever wanted to do something with the Varsity Blonds, it seems like they should hook up with Christian to get revenge on Luchasaurus

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Last thought before I log off:

Discovery exec : Hey Tony, how about some synergy?

Tony: "Hell yeah, how about a shark cage above the ring?"

Discovery exec: "Umm, sure, we were thinking more like shark fin hats and a shark mascot on screen"

Tony: "No problem! I'm all about synergy with our new partners! What about having some wrestlers do Shark Week promos?"

Discovery exec: "You got it"

picks up the phone and calls the only wrestler he's ever heard of:

"Hey Rock, we want a wrestler hosting Shark Week"

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2 minutes ago, Cobra Commander said:

if they ever wanted to do something with the Varsity Blonds, it seems like they should hook up with Christian to get revenge on Luchasaurus

Honesty this wouldn't be a bad idea. Being faces hasn't done the Blonds any favors and they've been treading water since before the incredibly prolonged Julia turn. Pillman looks like a douchebag heel and Garrison is a charisma vacuum so making them Christian's new understudies whom he convinced to cheat because they got nowhere being nice guys would be better than nothing.

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4 minutes ago, Hector said:

Feels like the one thing you don't want to do as the second biggest promotion in the U.S. is give people TNA vibes, but I guess it's easier said than done.

At least TNA had the guts to spring for a barbed wire Christmas tree. Tony would never.

No, I don't care that it's July. 

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1 minute ago, Cobra Commander said:

Christian needs stooges to prevent Jungle Boy from getting Christian, so bring in the Varsitys trying to be Edge and Christian to be Christian's stooges vs the Jurassic Express

Only problem with the plan is they both just got squashed single-handedly by Luchasaurus. Christian's gonna need more guys.

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1 minute ago, John from Cincinnati said:

Only problem with the plan is they both just got squashed single-handedly by Luchasaurus. Christian's gonna need more guys.

Obvously with Christian's guidance they'll be slightly less jobberiffic!

I really haven't been watching every week, but i'm guessing Lance Archer hasn't been on TV in a few months, and he's also available to be part of Christian's security

Christian needs guys to sponge heat off of like all the other old dudes in AEW, and there are young guys who need the sponging experience.

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2 minutes ago, Cobra Commander said:

I really haven't been watching every week, but i'm guessing Lance Archer hasn't been on TV in a few months, and he's also available to be part of Christian's security

Archer's available as a rental from Suzuki-gun. Christian's buddy Jericho used him recently, I'm sure he can ask what the rate is. 

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