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WE'VE CENA NUFF - WWE TV - 6/27 - 7/3/2022


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A battle royal!  Come ooon, SHANKY!  Will it come down to Veer Mahan and Shanky- Evil Indian versus Dancing Indian!  Nope!  Mustafa Ali and the Misterios eliminate Veer!  Oh no!  Shanky is eliminated!  I no longer give a fuck about this.  Oh, THAT'S T-Bar.  And he's eliminated!  So long, T-Bar.  You eliminated Shanky and any of my desire to give a crap about a battle royal.  And yet I keep watching it.  C'mon MIZ!  Let's go DOLPH!  Oh!  There goes Dolph!  I guess Matt Riddle wins this? AJ Styles versus Riddle is fun.  Or MIZ will eliminate Styles before it can kick in.  MIZ versus Riddle should be fun.  MIZ will lay it in.  AHEM. Why they linger on apron defies logic.  Yes.  I am smarter than the MIZ and that's why he is eliminated and I AM NOT!   It's the Jey Uso versus Montez Ford AGAIN!  I remember the last one was pretty old school.  This match is good.  Very 80s WWF style as they work an armbar.  They then do a thing on the apron and Ford gets driven into the steel ring steps- which is kind of the WWE version of the NOAH throw into the ring barriers.  Very old school match with Uso beating on Ford until he gets a hope spot in that Uso cuts off until the crowd gets behind Ford's comeback.  It's an old story but it's a good story.  Then they get to the nearfalls.  I've seen several hundred Ric Flair matches like this in my life.  Good nearfall as Ford hits a Standing Blockbuster!  They add a batch of highspots to the formula to bring it to the modern age.  GREAT fucking Superfly Splash by Montez Ford for the win.  That finish was totally balls out.  If Ford was in AEW, he would have a five star match fifteen minute match with Rey Fenix on Rampage.  DOUBLE MIZ NIGHT!  AWESOME!  AJ STYLES!  This is the best WWE approximation of Rampage in the ring tonight.  The MIZ is a great psycho heel.  AJ Styles is our Ricky Steamboat.  Does he burn with enough babyface fire?  MIZ channels Jon Moxley on the outside and CRUSHES Styles against the guardrail before we go to commercial!  If MIZ were in AEW, he would be feuding with Wheeler Yuta, trying to get into the Blackpool Combat Club.  Nice Lariat by Styles.  This match has a had a few awkward parts but it's good.  I guess I'm the only guy on the internet who likes MIZ in the ring.  He's not precise and his kicks can be mediocre (though he hits some nice ones in this match) but I dig his quasi-shootstyle styling in a WWE setting.  GREAT FUCKING BRAINBUSTER BY STYLES!  Oh yeah, one can forget that AJ Styles is motherfucking awesome.  Count out finish is a finish.  Maybe not the best finish but less bullshit than one can usually expect from the brainiacs that book WWE.  It's Anna Jay of the WWE Women's Division!  Alexa Bliss!  She IS Perfectly Fine!  It's Liv Morgan!  Okay, Alexa Bliss is way better than Anna Jay but she has had 800 more matches.  Alexa Bliss is more of a poor man's Britt Baker.  Nice rollup pin by Liv Morgan.  That wasn't very long.  Asuka is great on commentary.  It's a handicap match with Theory as special referree!  Otis and Chad Gable take on Bobby Lashley!  I guess this to build up Lashley and Theory for THE STRAP~!  After Lashley makes Gable tap, the three of them beat on Lashley!  Lashley fights all three of them off!  I'm guessing that due to Lashley looking this strong means that Theory is retaining.  Who could be sure?  OH NO! ANOTHER BATTLE ROYAL!  There is no Shanky in the ladie's division so I don;t really know who to go for.  Doudrop and Tamina beating each other to death.  Oh it's not a battle royal just a clusterfuck.  Xia Li has been showing up the last two weeks.  I assume she is here to be pinned by Big Times Becks.  Doudrop crushes Shayne Bazsler with a cannonball in the corner!  Becks is eliminating folks left and right!  She is the superstar of this match. Crazy, desperate Becks is the best Becks.  Doudrop is our SECRET superstar of the match.  Tamina replacing Rhea Ripley has been fun, taking the giant bump in the Clump Suplex Off The Top!  Doudrop eliminates Baszler and I was hoping Becks would eliminate all five opponents.  Tamina does a Superfly Splash to absolutely no one.  Doudrop eliminates Tamina and I like the build of Double D in this match.  Big Time Becks Slams Double D off the top and goes to MITB!  She's crazy!  That was fun.  That show really zipped by if you fast forward through all the John Cena shit.

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Most of the show was background noise for me. Only match that had my full attention was the main event. What I caught of everything else was generally fine, but I didn't care enough to stop doing other shit I was dong while it was going on. 

Main event was decent for Doudrop and Becky. Still it felt weird with there being no actual faces in the match. 

The Cena stuff was fine as an honoring of him and whatnot, but it didn't make for an interesting show.

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I kind of expected that Cena promo to turn into a fake retirement just to be attacked by Theory at the end of it. Instead it was pretty much crowd service to pop a rating. Still a cool moment and I'm sure him getting popped these days is nice for him after years of not.

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I get that WWE is for a more casual viewer these days and isn't really for the hardcore wrestling fan. That being said there were two things that really annoyed me.

That opening. Heels & babys just standing around together in a receiving line clapping and cheering? Cena stopping and hugging heels? It was like the opposite of Vince heading out to his death in the limo. They also missed an easy gag where Elias could be at the front of the line with fake beard and as he's out of the camera view he gets behind everyone and throws on a new shirt and takes off the beard to be Ezekiel at the end of the line.

Why do they present all the wrestlers as marks these days? The Street Prophets acted like fans that paid for a meet & greet with Cena. Dudes in the 80s didn't mark for the stars of the 70s. Dudes in the Attitude Era didn't mark out for the 80s stars. Why do they make the current generation mark out for 2000s wrestlers? Its hard to present everyone as a star on par with previous stars when they get stars in their eyes and act like the previous generation was soooo much better than they are.

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We’ve infantilized ourselves to combat  trauma and helplessness, and no one believes that anything is ever going to be better than it used to be in any aspect of culture or the world at large. 

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21 minutes ago, NoFistsJustFlips said:

They also missed an easy gag where Elias could be at the front of the line with fake beard and as he's out of the camera view he gets behind everyone and throws on a new shirt and takes off the beard to be Ezekiel at the end of the line.

WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN LITERALLY WTF

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Cora/Roxanne vs. Katana/Kayden was nice. The teams mostly gelled well together and did some neat things. Hope we get a rematch for the belts at some point.

Indi/Kiana was surprising decent and one of Indi's better performances. She and James work well together.

Diamond Mine vs. Gacy and co. was solid. 

Sanga/Quinn started off well but kind of died down as it went on. Still decent overall.

Lyons/Mandy was pretty decent up until the dq finish. 

The Bron/Grimes segment was good. Looking forward to the next week.

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Sorry I'm late.  AEW Dark was awesome and went past 8.  Then I had to watch MONK with the wife.  And then a new Red Letter Media video came out. So here we are.  They are now called Carter and Chance!  Cora Jade and Roxanne Perez!  It's like three of my favorite NXT wrestlers all in one match!  And Cora Jade!  Jade and Carter get salty with each other.  Chance is quite an athlete as she gets MAD AIR off the second rope!  Roxanne does a fucking INSANE head scissors into a roll up- as I realize that no 20 year old should be doing moves I've never seen before, but here we are.  Chance makes the hot tag!  Carter is the ass stomper of the team and Chance is fauncy highflyer.  They go back to beating the crud out of CHANCE!  It breaks down!  Carter stops  Roxanne from hitting a tope by entering the frame and POUNCING with a forearm!  This is like a 1990s All Japan tag match- there are no faces and no heels, just wrestlers trying to win!  It's fun.  I wish there was an INTERNATIONAL FEED for WWE because the picture in picture looks important to the match as they trade control of the match with Carter roughing up Jade and Perez and Jade battling back to seize control.  They do a third heat segment on Carter and Chance, the first one on Carter. Perez just punches Carter in the face on the floor and  Carter throws her against the ring and seizes control back.  And they beat on Perez as we go back to a regular screen.  The crowd gets behind Perez's babyface comeback because Perez is more of a babyface than what the crowd gets from the odd psychology of the match.  Chance tries to do the heel things of cutting off the ring but Perez makes the hot tag and this match is great.  Carter is your all star of the match, as she has the nastiest offense that propels the match forward.  Cora Jade does something that the camera misses to disrupt Chance's big move off the top to allow Perez to hit a Code Re3d for the win!  That was great!  It's Ikeman Jiro!  It's Giovanni Vinci!  Jiro is the Orange Cassidy of NXT- in that he uses his clothes as a gimmick and he does some neat highflying.  Vinci hits Jiro like GUNTHER!  Actually, Jiro is the Serpentico of NXT- in that he makes Vinci look like a million bucks between highflying.  It's the NXT UK champions- Brooks Jenson and Josh Briggs!  I guess I should watch the title match.  U-S-A! U-S-A!  Awesome!  It's Pretty Deadly!  They're British!  They can fight for their Queen or some shit!  Oh no!  Carter and Chance are FIXIN' to turn!  It's Kiana James!  It's Indi Harwell!  James is all gymnastic and whatnot.  This match is a good Worldwide match- sort of a Lash LaRue vs Chip Minton throwdown.  Kiana James cheats to win!  It's Joe Gacy and the Dyad!  It's Roderick Strong and the Creed Brothers!  Brutus Creed is wrestling Dyad #1.  The Dyads REALLY need new gear.  There is the chance that we can get a Batter Twins switcharoo before long.  We can only hope.  They beat on Brutus and the crowd gets behind him as he achieves a hope spot before a Dyad clotheslines him.  It BREAKS DOWN!  There is a triple suplex and all three heels are thrown to the floor and we're at picturte in picture and Roderick Strong beats on a Dyad and they throw him in the corner until he drives Brutus to the other corner to make the tag to Gacy.  So a Dyad is more powerful than Brutus and can drive him across the ring to make the hot tag?  Is that Scott Norton in the velour outfit?  Brutus is good at taking an assbeating and gets the crowd into his comeback.  Gacy is good.  The Dyad are good.  The match is very old school.  Brutus is showing the babyface fire that inspires folks to dig his eventual hot tag.  Julius Creed is waaaay fun as Robert Gibson.  Roderick Strong is our ACTUAL heel as he screams at the Creeds after tagging in to take away Julius' pin!  The Dyad do the Batten Twins switch and get the pin on Roderick Strong!  Postmatch, they- the Creed Brothers and Ivy Niles- are annoyed at a prone Roderick Strong.  Will they join Gacy?  Will they go their own way?  Will Roderick Strong smooth things over?  Who can be sure?  Oh!  They are going to settle it in the ring!  Sanga! and Xyon Quinn!  They have a HOSS battle!  It's okay.  Neither of these guys are very smooth and they don't really lay it in, so this isn't a REAL hoss battle.  Sanga wins with a choke slam.  I kind of drifted in and out of this match.  Eh.  It's Nikkita Lyons and I have to keep rewinding to figure out the stupid spellings of everybody's names.  I mean all wrestling names have stupid spellings (Her name is spelled JORDYNNE Grace!) but with NXT rolling out a thousand new people a week, it's hard to remember anybody's actual names much less the idiotic spelling of said names.  Anyway, Nikkita Lyons is promising and Mandy Rose is a good veteran who can carry her to a good match.  Plus we got the story element of Lyons injured knee, which I'm guessing will figure in the finish of this.  Rose shines up our babyface early and then starts right in on the knee, but Lyons fights out and goes on offense.  Mandy Rose is really great in giving Lyons a giant batch of offense and then eventually cutting her off and they OPT to have Toxic Attraction run in and THAT'S out finish?  I guess this was to align Lyons with Roxanne Perez and Cora Jade.  I assume we will get Toxic Attraction versus Perez/Jade/Lyons after next week. Oh well.  The opening tag match was good.

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17 minutes ago, DEAN said:

Eh.  It's Nikkita Lyons and I have to keep rewinding to figure out the stupid spellings of everybody's names.  I mean all wrestling names have stupid spellings (Her name is spelled JORDYNNE Grace!) but with NXT rolling out a thousand new people a week, it's hard to remember anybody's actual names much less the idiotic spelling of said names.

I did not realize until now it was two kks in her name. I still find it less dumb than her terrible gear.

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Just now, Eivion said:

I did not realize until now it was two kks in her name. I still find it less dumb than her terrible gear.

Oh. I got no problem with her gear.  I am so very old.....

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1 hour ago, DEAN said:

Oh. I got no problem with her gear.  I am so very old.....

Munchkin punchin' returns!  Though I doubt it went away.

 

Assuming DEAN also didn't see or hear nothing about Tony D disposing of a body like I did.  I was playing around on my phone, that's the ticket.

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Sarray in a Bucc-ees t shirt!  SARRAY vs RUBY SOHO!  BOOK IT, VINCE or STEPHANIE!

 

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8 hours ago, DEAN said:

Sarray in a Bucc-ees t shirt!  SARRAY vs RUBY SOHO!  BOOK IT, VINCE or STEPHANIE!

 

Yeah, I was going to say "Isn't that Pete the Administrator on the T-shirt, but no, this one is wearing a cap".

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9 hours ago, Shartnado said:

Yeah, I was going to say "Isn't that Pete the Administrator on the T-shirt, but no, this one is wearing a cap".

Well, Pete is using the Ruby Soho variation of the Bucc-ee's logo.

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Oh man, it's a night of battle royals!  WWE goes for an old fashioned battle royal and I will forgo my usual dismissal of battle royals because after 10 four star plus matches in 7 days in AEW, the wrestling industry can take a break and just deliver some fun.  Umos is assuming the Andre role and he eliminates a wad of guys before he is eliminated by Riddle draping his arm over the rope and two beefy guys, McIntyre and Sheamus I think, and they eliminate him!  Sheamus and McIntyre are two of the last three and have a little match within the match!  Sammy Zayne is so fucking great- being Fuego del Sol being hip tossed across the ring and he is eliminated!  Sheamus and McIntyre get tied up and BOTH are eliminated by Happy Corbin!  I guess that means Frankie Kazarian is winning the Rampage Rumble!  I don't know what it means to win this one.  If it was a TRUE old fashioned battle royal,  Happy Corbin would win $50,000!  AND I BET HE DID!  $50,000!  MONEY!  Right?  BIG TIME BECKS! On commentary!  Asuka is all spinny and kicky!  Shotzi wants no part of her!  Asuka is all crazy avoiding Raquel Rodriguez' big mean offense!  Raquel assumes the Andre role!  Alexa Bliss bounces off her!  Becks is awesome being fucking insane.  Liv Morgan is beaten on by Raquel and she finally tags in Shotzi Blackheart and we all wonder if Shotzi will do something insane in this match.  Liv starts a highspot train with a COMPLETELY out of control tope with Asuka knocking Raquel off the apron with a Flying Hip Attack followed by a wheelbarrow senton by Alexa Bliss ALSO on Raquel. Alexis Bliss versus Raquel is the story of the match, with Shotzi trying to steal Raquel's pin.  Alexa is our face in peril, and I don't think Shotzi is going to do anything insane, but she is good beating some heat on Alexa.  The crowd gets behind Alexa's babyface fire!  She makes the HOT TAG to Asuka and Asuka is more of a Terry Gordy than a Robert Gibson.  She CRUSHES Shotzi with a German Suplex!  Liv Morgan is back in the match.  This match is awesome.  Shotzi is also INSANE and Liv Morgan hits her finisher and pins Shotzi!  Big Time Becks SNEAKS IN THE RING AND URINAGIS ASUKA!  Fun.   Oh no!  A four way to make it into the MITB match!  MORE HAPPY CORBIN!  PUT THE STRAPS~! ON HIM!  Corbin takes some STIFF forearms from Ezekiel and bumps all over the arena.  Corbin then chokeslams everybody onto the hard surfaces around the ring- the apron, the announcer's table.  Maybe Corbin is good.  I've never really paid attention to him before.  Okay, I've never seen one guy catapult another guy's head into the testicles of another guy.  Let''s hear it for the match!  Corbin is good.  Maybe Madcap Moss is good.  This is a match of half the guys I've never seen wrestle before.  Madcap Moss steals the pin from Corbin!  He gets to partake in the stupidest concept in current wrestling!  The Money In The Bank Idea!  It has ruined a thousand indie belts!  That was a fun episode.

 

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