Impact Wrestling Spoilers for 5/19/22 - Newport, KY

[DreamBroken]

Quote

*Taped for BTI: Crazzy Steve (w/ Black Taurus, Rosemary, & Havok) def. Zicky Dice (w/ Johnny Swinger) (9:13) after the Diving DDT

Impact Wrestling - Airing May 19, 2022 from Newport, KY

*Speedball Mike Bailey def. Laredo Kid (8:50) with a rollup to qualify for the X Division Championship Ultimate X at Slammiversary

*Taya Valkyrie, Jordynne Grace, & Mia Yim def. Deonna Purrazzo, Tasha Steelz, & Savannah Evans (12:03) when Yim pinned Savannah after Eat Defeat

*The Good Brothers (Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson) def. Honor No More (Matt Taven & Mike Bennett w/ Maria Kanellis) (10:39) when Anderson pinned Bennett with the Gun Stun after Maria's interference backfired and Bennett speared Maria.

*Masha Slamovich def. Shawna Reed (0:54) with the snow plow in a squash. After the match, Havok comes out and faces off with Masha. 

*The Briscoes (Jay & Mark Briscoe)(c) def. Violent by Design (Deaner & Joe Doering w/ Eric Young) (14:39) when Jay sat down on Deaner's victory roll attempt, to retain the tag team championships. After the match, Eric Young joined in attacking the Briscoes until Josh Alexander made the save. Josh took out Deaner & Doering and then had a staredown with Young.

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by DreamBroken

[DEAN]

IMPACT! is fucking LOADED tonight.

[DEAN]

Zicky Dice is a superworker.  He uses a CRAVATE~! in this match!  Crazzy Steve has the greatest chance to not lose in the entire history of his wrestling career. This match is actually really good.

Spoiler

Crazzy Steve has a FINISHER!  WHO KNEW!?!?

 

[DreamBroken]

Good show. Speedball/Laredo fun opener. I love the heel trio of Deonna/Tasha/Savannah, great team. Still miss Taya's old theme. 

I love Kazarian coming back for more Impact. I only wish Daniels return last year led to more instead of teasing challenging for the title then disappearing. GREAT use of the flashback showing the Sabin/Kazarian classic from 03.

I liked the little ongoing commercial deal of Josh being haunted by TNA leading up to Slammiversary 20. Masha/Havok should be epic. Solid main event rematch for the tags.

[DEAN]

Sorry I'm a little late.  Had to watch MLW and then I got tangled up trying to RANK THE IMPACT! TAGTEAMS!  But you'll read it DOWN THERE.  Oh cool!  Laredo Kid versus Speedball Mike Bailey kicks it off!  Both of these guys rule.  Laredo does a takedown that I've never seen before.  Speedball kicks Laredo a bunch before crushing Laredo with an Avalanche  Double Knees to the chest!  Laredo kicks to TRANSITION TO OFFENSE and hits a nice moonsault to the floor off the second rope.  Laredo is lot more hard edge between spectacular shit.  Bailey hits his sweet Moonsault to The Floor off the second rope in the ring (you know, the Silver King moonsault thing.) and then a missile dropkick into a Standing Skytwister Press.  This is about expected, except STIFFER by Laredo Kid and Bailey starts matching it.  Bailey misses the Ultimate Weapon and Laredo hits a super nice KAORU EXCALIBER!  FOR TWO!  They battle on the top turnbuckle and a bunch of stuff happens and they battle it out with roll ups and Bailey comes out with the win because Laredo Kid has now replaced Crazzy Steve as the Guy Who Will Never Win On IMPACT!  This was still really good, even though Laredo Kid going over at some point in his career would be nice.  Ace Austin says he won one match in Japan, but he's won THREE matches so far.  THIS ISN'T LIVE!  WHAT THE FUCK?!   Matt Cardona is on his honeymoon, STUPID RICH SWANN!  He's always ready, but not always AVAILABLE!  Cool!  Deonna Purrazzo!  She's awesome.  She has a cool coat.  She could have been in KISS.  Tasha Steelz is a great wrestler.  They speak of some kind of horrible gimmick match and I know I'm not getting the PPV so I don;t care.  TAYA VALKYRIE!  She's so good.  Jordynne Grace is good.  Mia Yim I haven't seen wrestle in like 25 years.  Actually, I'm guessing if she hasn;t wrestled in IMPACT! in five years, then I haven;t seen her wrestle in five years.    Deonna Purrazzo puts a standing moonsault in every match because she posts on Twitter that she is more than just a thousand cool submissions.  Her thousand submission are enough for me.  Taya kills Steelz with a NICE Blue Thunder Bomb.  The IMPACT! Wrestling commentary Team calls it a Blue Thunder Powerbomb because nobody is better at announcing wrestling than these guys.  Steelz is good because she can wrestle and she is teeny so your two power wrestlers, Grace and Valkyrie, can truly SHOWBOAT their power and Steelz will lean into it.  Savannah and Deonna Purrazzo are your power wrestler for the EVIL side and Savannah throws Grace around.  Oh yeah, Mia Yim is in this.  She looks great because Steelz is great at making folks look great.  Oh man, this match is fun.  A bunch of stuff happens and Mia Yim does Gail Kim's finisher on Savannah Evans and it's over!  That was good.  I can't imagine Deonna Purrazzo being without a belt for too long, but matches like this make you realize why keeping the belt on Steelz guarantees a good match.  Probably not better than Purrazzo, but it's a good dilemma to have.  Hell, any of these SIX women would make a good champion.  And you also got Giselle Shaw, Lady Frost and fuckin Masha Slamovich waiting in the wings.  Man, that division is DEEP.   God, it's Matt Taven and Mike Bennett who rule EVERYWHERE currently.  They aren;t on MLW and I don;t think they are showing up on the United Wrestling Network.  But they are FACES in NWA and I think they are in New Japan Strong.  Lemme check cagematch.  OH!  They aren;t in New Japan Strong but they are all over the United Wrestling Network.  I hope they show back up in ROH so Mike Bennett can wrestle 600 times in one year.  The Good Brothers are good; it's just that everyone is tired of them.  They're the fourth best tagteam in IMPACT! behind Violent By Design, Taven/Bennett and, of course, the motherfucking Briscoes.  Actually,  Crazzy Steve and Black Taurus has Black Taurus as a member.  So FIVE.  Good Brothers are the FIFTH best tagteam in IMPACT!  But they're good.   Luke Gallows is really good.  Taven does the Davey Boy Smith on the LG lariat.  Taven is wrestling as a face in peril, as his time in the NWA is confusing him.  So wait, Jay White is a face.  Chris Bey is a face.  The Good Brothers are heels.  Bullett Club is face and heel?  OGK is a face.  Eddie Edwards is definitely a heel.  Honor No More is heel and face?  The heat is weird but the match is good.  OH! Matt Cardona/Bryan Meyers!  Good Brothers are the SIXTH best tag team in IMPACT.  But they're good.  Luke Gallows  is a flurry of offense.  They have a wad of nearfalls,  MIKE BENNETT SPEARS MARIA KANELLI BENNETT!  Mike Bennett is the new Matt Cardona!  The Good Brothers win!  They're good! SIXTH!  Hey, it's Masha Slamovich!  She kills Shawna Reed!  NORTHERN LIGHTS BOMB!  Her hair is getting even crazier.  THE LIGHTS ARE OUT! HOUSE OF BLACK!  SABU!  JAKE THE SNAKE!  Oh, it's Masha Slamovich first non-squash match.  It'll be Havok.  That's a big gal to Northern Lights Bomb.  I look forward to it.  Bhupinder Gujjar continues to have the other, meaner Indian dudes on his back.  MORE DISRESPECT!  W Morrisey sticks his nose into the business and NOW THE GOOD BROTHERS ARE THE SEVENTH BEST TAG TEAM IN IMPACT!   Gujjar and Morrisey!  The fourth or fifth best tgteam in IMPACT! It's the third best tag team in IMPACT!  Joe Doering and Cody Deaner!  It is a lateral move with Eric Young even though Eric Young is like the fifth best singles wrestler in IMPACT!.  And its the fucking Briscoes!  Cody Deaner has that special look.  That look of Not Winning.  Cody Deaner will not win.  Deaner is the new Laredo Kid as the Man Who Will Not Win In IMPACT!  Joe Doering is great as a towering All Japan midcard guy.  The key to beating Doering is to beat the fudge out of Deaner and the Briscoes just beat the crap out of him early.  Jay Briscoe is so fucking good.  Mark is also fucking good.  Mark is winning the Best Briscoe In The Match!  Joe Doering with the Sneak Flying Crossbody!  Oh no!  Joe Doering is in the ring!  Doering is a bruiser.  EIRC YOUNG SMACKS JAY! CHEATING!  Deaner kicks Jay in the hinder!  Mark is your GREAT house a-fire!  Deaner is ISOLATED in the ring!  Cody Deaner must meet his...... DESTINY!  The Briscoes have a nyriad of ways to  get him to his Promised Land BUT HE FIGHTS OUT!  Doering hits a SWEET Spinebuster!  Deaner WILL NOT BE DENIED AND HE TAGS IN!  Doering breaks up the Doomsday Device!  DEANER WILL NOT BE DENIED AND JAY ROLLS HIM UP! And Cody Deaner is FINALLY at peace... Postmatch!  The Briscoes and Josh Alexander battle it out with VBD!  Josh and Jay and Mark are definitely the best trios team in IMPACT!  GREAT FUCKING EPISODE.

[DEAN]

Maria Kanellis Bennett~!

 

[DEAN]

IMPACT! wrestling have posted a couple of matches. Speedball vs Laredo Kid.

Joe Doering/Cody Deaner vs the Briscoes.