Impact Wrestling Spoilers for 3/31/22 - Philadelphia, PA

[DreamBroken]

Quote

*Taped for BTI: Black Taurus (w/ Rosemary) def. Deaner (w/ Eric Young & Joe Doering) (8:21) after the Power Bull.

Impact Wrestling - Airing March 31, 2022 from Philadelphia, PA

*Jonathan Gresham def. Kenny King (12:43) via pinfall. After the match, Eddie Edwards attacked Gresham until Rocky Romero made the save. 

*The Good Brothers (Doc Gallows & Karl Anderson) def. Johnny Swinger & Zicky Dice (0:59) after the Magic Killer on Zicky in a squash.

*Josh Alexander def. Madman Fulton (w/ Ace Austin) (1:37) via ankle lock in a squash. After the match, Josh refused to break the hold until a distraction from Ace. Josh then went back and broke Fulton's ankle as Ace retreated. 

*Rosemary won a battle royal to become #1 contender to the knockouts championship (7:09) defeating Lady Frost, Gisele Shaw, Madison Rayne, Tenille Dashwood (w/ Kaleb with a K), Jessie McKay (w/ Cassie Lee), Savannah Evans (w/ Tasha Steelz), Havok, & Alisha Edwards.
-Havok eliminated Alisha
-Everyone eliminated Havok
-McKay eliminated Tenille
-Jordynne eliminated Madison
-Savannah eliminated McKay
-Savannah eliminated Jordynne
-Gisele & Frost eliminated Savannah
-Rosemary eliminated Gisele & Frost

*Bhupinder Gujjar def. Aiden Prince (4:35) after the 2nd rope spear. After the match, W. Morrissey chases Brian Myers from ringside and ends up putting Aiden through a table.

*Masha Slamovich def. Abby Jane (0:52) after the Snow Plow in a squash.

*Bullet Club (Chris Bey & Jay White) def. The Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) (18:25) when Bey pinned Sabin after the Art of Finesse

 

Edited April 1, 2022 by DreamBroken

[DEAN]

Hey!  I didn't know Cody Deener's first name was Cody.  He's good.  Please watch him get just totally fucking slaughterized by a Black Taurus K-Driller.

 

[DEAN]

Moose attacks Josh Alexander's wife the same week that Matt Cardona attacks Mickey James.  C'mon guys, space these things out.  Alexander and Scott D'More do some ACTING!  ACTING is a trademark of IMPACT! as much as highly indie booking.  If only Moose was there and they could have had a Triple Threat Act Off!  Hey!  Jonathan Gresham is on my TV!  I will see him tomorrow on my TV during the ROH PPV!  Versus Bandido (with Chavo Guerrerro)!  Oh man, Eddie Edwards versus Gresham would be awesome.  I will take Gresham versus Kenny King.  Kenny King is awesome.  King doing the polar opposite of Pure rules is why Kenny King is awesome.  It's like when the UWFi took on New Japan,  the New Japan guys would run in during tag matches and double team the shooter in the ring because they knew his partner wouldn't run in and help him because it was against the code of UWFi.  Kenny punching and kicking Gresham on the floor is such a violation of Gresham's code!  I love this kind of shit.  Gresham using the highest technical ability not violating rules that aren't even illegal is so fun and gloriously pretentious.  Kenny King hits a fucking AWESOME Dragon Suplex into a Tiger Suplex.  Man, Kenny King is awesome.  Kenny sells the knee and Gresham attacks the injured knee because that is part of HIS code of honor which, from the outside, would appear to be ironic. BUT IT ISN'T!   Such fun storytelling.  Oh man, I assume Gresham and Rocky Romero wrestles Edwards and King and that will be awesome.  Let us now acknowledge the greatness of the IMPACT! commentary team.  HUZZAH!  Zicky Dice is hosting a wrestling card this weekend on Twitch with Masha Slamovich wrestling a bear.  Here, he gets beaten to death by the Good Brothers.  Jonah and PCO brawl in a warehouse to very exciting music.  PCO assumes the role of freaky Canadian.  Oh cool, Madman Fulton in singles action.  Fulton had like 200 matches in the WWE so he can work.  We await to see how well he takes a Josh Alexander Piledriver.  Fulton bumps ginormous and he is awesome  -as Alexander channels 1998 Kenta Kobashi with suplexes (but not as dangerous.)  BOO!  Ankle lock?  We want the Piledriver!  It's like in 1988 and the Great Muta would be on Worldwide and he wouldn't win with a Moonsault.  C'mon, Bart, say the line!  Allright, more Cardonas!  Chelsea Green is such a superstar and they should put the belt on her for three years.  More Matt Cardona! Why was Masha Slamovich not in the battle royal?  Not that I would watch a battle royal.  Bhupinder Gujjar!  Aiden Prince is our IMPACT! Fuego del Sol.  His pointless comeback was totally fiery!  Prince makes Gujjar's finisher look fucking awesome.  Prince also goes through a table like a champ.  You were enjoyed, my friend.  Masha Slamovich is still squashing gals, so she isn't a fullfledged Knockout yet.  Oh, Masha starts with a Dragon Suplex before killing Abby Jane with a Northern Lights Bomb.  I watched an interview with Slamovich today and she said she was trained by Chigusa Nagoya and fucking Akira Hokuto.  Jesus, no wonder she is such a fucking killer.  Allright, the main event!  Jay White- total superstar.  Chris Bey- the Wheeler Yuta to Jay White's Bryan Danielson.  Chris Sabin doesn't lay it in as much as Jay White, White does wrestle in New Japan.  Sabin wrestles in IMPACT!  so you know how it goes.  Bey and White are so much more dynamic than everybody else in IMPACT.   I just hope that Jay White hangs around long enough to wrestle Eddie Edwards and Josh Alexander.  Chris Bey with a cravate?  Are we sure he's not a secret Blackpool Combat Club member?  Machine Guns look good beating the hell out of Chris Bey using their zany double teams.  The finish was FABULOUSLY elaborate,  That was fucking awesome.  Two really good matches!  YEAH! IMPACT!

[DreamBroken]

Gresham/King was a super solid opener, good stuff. Squashes were killer, Masha always the best. the PCO/Jonah cinematic fight was epic. I liked Aiden Prince last time he was around for awhile as an X Division babyface, this was different.

Battle royal was a total blast. Just when I think Tasha Steelz can't get any better, she gets on commentary and steals the show. She was hilarious all the way through. Great stuff.

Excellent main event again from those two teams. Lots of awesome double teams, counters, and sequences throughout. Good show