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2022 Movies Discussion Thread (v.2.0)


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Bruce Willis has reportedly become the first Hollywood star to sell his image rights to a technology company that specializes in using artificial intelligence, according to The Telegraph.

Willis’ partnership with Deepcake allows for to create “digital twins” of the actor, and to use his face and likeness in future projects without Willis having to appear on set or be involved in any of the production aspects.

 

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Just found out Blade (1998) will be shown at one of the cinemas where I live next month. I'll be going to that. I was 13 when Blade came out. Blade II (2002) was my first 18 certificate film at the cinema. I flip between thinking Blade is better then Blade II. If you asked me now, Blade II. Those are great. I also saw Blade: Trinity (2004) on the big screen. What a shit film. Told the story before you could buy a box set of Blade/Blade II or all three. Needless to say I picked the former. Still have it to this day.

Edited by The Natural
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My wife wanted to watch Hocus Pocus 2. I... was in the room. After all was finished, I asked her how she felt about it, as a fan of the original (and the right age for full nostalgia): 

"I watched it."

I think that says enough.

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Barbarian was totally great and so subversive.   The marketing plan was tremendous.  The trailers totally do not prepare you for what happens in Barbarian, unlike most trailers that pretty much encapsulate the entire film in under three minutes.  I'm trying to cobble together a review that will get posted in the Secret Satan project thread.

Edited by J.T.
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Yep.  Here we are, nobody reading a thing.  It's Day 447 (and counting) of Some Crap or Another, Recency Bias Edition.

Your Baby's Dirty Diaper

Walking Tall (2004) - The only remotely positive things I can say about this is that it does, in some respects, feel like a dry run for the sort of stuff you'd see in Longmire or Banshee, considering both of those shows have similar central conceits.  And there's a brief bit - literally the section while the credits run - where you get a little First Blood vibe from the way it's shot and setting you up for the story that's to come.  But, that's it.  Otherwise, this is probably slightly less shitty than other WWE Films entries, but still shit regardless.  I suppose Johnny Knoxville is in this solely because he was the only "star" and non-wrestler willing to do completely stupid bullshit to himself for the entirety of the movie.  I don't recall anything about the originals, but they have to be better than this, although I'd wager not a lot better.

Firestarter (2022) - Hey, look, it's a run on stuff that didn't need a remake!  Granted, I *do* remember the original of this, and I *do* think it's also a bad movie (Carrie and The Dead Zone were really the only good King adaptations prior to the 90s, sorry-not-sorry), but at least it isn't boring, which of course is the cardinal sin a horror movie can commit.  And this is boring.  I never read the book and never will, but I'm taking a wild stab here that this is slightly more true to the source material, and that isn't what I'd call a ringing endorsement.  I would have dug Kurtwood Smith as a particularly creepy old fossil mad scientist, but even that gets no time here.  I actually like Zac Efron, but now I can be done with him being in everything.  Go pop your neck somewhere else, please.

Pottersville - This starts out seeming like it's going to be a dull little It's a Wonderful Life love letter, and it ends like a dull little It's a Wonderful Life love letter, but in between that is...sometimes funny?  Maybe for about 10 minutes?  But there's just not enough good writing - or good improv - from everyone to hold this together.  And this has a LOT of familiar faces in it; there are enough notable names that it's surprising I'd never heard of this before.  But this feels like maybe Thomas Lennon was humoring some friend of his who had a half-assed script that might have made Ron Perlman chuckle for a second or two, and so they threw the guy a bone and made a direct-to-streaming thing that got everyone their SAG minimum for showing up.  This also joins The Greatest as the only bad Michael Shannon movie I've seen.  He shoulders a bit more blame for this one, though.

Strange Weather - I think, perhaps mistakenly, that there's a bit of a Carrie Coon Fan Club around here; I don't think The Leftovers is nearly as good as some claim (and very much find myself in the camp that prefers S1 instead of thinking it was the worst season), but she's just...if she's in things, I will 100% watch them always.  I have historically felt the same way about Holly Hunter.  I wish neither of them were in this so I didn't have to see them be in something so slow and uninteresting.  This has, I don't know, maybe 2 scenes in it where it gets choppy and weird and maybe it could suck you in - one in particular that's just the two of them going at each other with knives out, which somebody *had* to have realized during casting that that was going to be the good stuff anyway! - but the other 80 minutes here are shoddy or feel like they've been done to death by the 150 other American auteurs who have tried to say something profound about the South lately and Louisiana in particular.  And plus, having lived adjacent to people with these sorts of life experiences, the trite, pat ending is ludicrous and unearned.  I would say skip, but...I love Carrie Coon, so...I don't know?

That'll Do, Pig

Colette - Wow, Dominic West at his most corpulent.  I wondered for a second about his casting (and for that matter Keira as a goddamn teenager again when she was a 30-something mother of 2 at this point), but I also didn't know anything about who Colette was with respect to French history and how long of a string they were going to play out with this.  Really interesting lady and a pretty well put-together movie that I wish I'd seen sooner.  2018 was a murderer's row of a year for good movies and this certainly isn't any sort of upper-echelon film for that year, but it's got a lot going for it: the right amount of charm, humor, and creeping dread that not all will work out well in the end.  Unlike a lot of other stuff I've seen, this did not feel like a waste of my time and would even be worth rewatching, eventually, assuming I give myself the time to rewatch a movie ever again.

The Laundromat - This is all right most of the time, but...I mean, why did we need this?  I suppose it's not Soderbergh's fault the Panama Papers came out when they did (and frankly, given the events of 2007-09, it's surprising they didn't come out sooner), but why go this direction?  The overwhelming majority of this feels like a hacky attempt at The Big Short Part Two, and some works, some doesn't.  I don't feel like it does much of anything useful with either Gary Oldman or Antonio Banderas, particularly the latter, who gets maybe a scene and a half to set up what's supposed to motivate him, and otherwise, he's just "the local guy who is the German's partner".  Some of the satirical bits are pretty good, but the greenscreening is often really weak.  But, as much as I think late-career Meryl Streep is massively overrated, this is one of the rare times where she turns in something good.

Yeah, But...

Ben Is Back - Speaking of overrated but occasionally capable of reminding you she can really go: Julia Roberts, everyone!  Most of the post-Erin Brockovich bullshit she's done has been some of the...no, wait, most of her whole damn career is some of the most skippable shit ever, but this is actually pretty good.  It helps, though, that it's pretty close to perfectly cast.  Lucas Hedges was dead center in his Everyteen run where most of the stuff he did came off really strong, Kathryn Newton is wonderful in the first half of this (and then sadly kind of vanishes), and Courtney Vance is a believable blend of Kind Stepdad and Selfish Asshole.  So when Roberts has to actually bring it, at least she's got the right people around her to pull it off.  And the writer/director is Peter Hedges, not just Lucas' dad but also the guy who wrote What's Eating Gilbert Grape? and local favorite Dan in Real Life, and this is of a similar quality.  It gets a little too on-the-nose with what it has to say, but it's also a nice undercurrent throughout where you're aware that what's depicted here are the "best case scenario" of a situation like this, unlike the far better but far more depressing events of Dopesick

One Maple-Frosted Donut

Ma Rainey's Black Bottom - Jesus, you can really tell this was a play; that's the biggest gripe with this movie easily, that the director steps on the movie on more than one occasion by doing stuff that's too disruptive or by jumping around instead of sticking with the right people and right moments a little longer, which just makes it that much stranger when the more "stage" moments of it hit and you're left listening to long monologues.  But hey, you cast it with this cast and who cares, right?  I'm not sure how I feel now about the whole "Boseman not winning the Oscar" thing - I mean, he's great, but let's face it: this role is one of those ones that's also really obviously teed up as Oscar Bait.  He still had to pull it off - and he did, in fucking spades - but you probably could have had more than a few other guys pull a nomination with this role.  It probably doesn't help that, as good as he is, Viola Davis is just a goddamned singularity throughout, with that whole "aging prize fighter clawing and scraping to remain relevant" vibe that leaves the entire movie queasily balancing itself on a knife's edge.  I'm not sure the ending really works all that well for me, either, but it's also the kind of thing plays tend to do, so, it's difficult to get too caught up about that when the rest is so good. 

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On 8/7/2022 at 7:39 PM, Octopus said:

Speaking of mediocre filmmaking…

CC7-F0109-0-E0-D-41-A5-B2-B8-E4-DFAE3-CF
 

my film, Ode to the Whale of Christ, is going to be screening in Minneapolis (at the Trylon Cinema) on October 8th. After so many screenings being postponed due to the pandemic, I’m pretty excited to have it playing in a US theater.

Shameless plug Derp.

Screening is tomorrow. Excited and nervous. It’s a weird silent film so I could see people that getting into it. But I think it should be fun. Big test to see about future screenings with projects. Ticket sales haven’t been great but it sounds mostly like walk ups on the day of is generally how it goes. Worst case scenario it’s a fun outing for the cast and crew and we get drinks afterwards. 

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37 minutes ago, Contentious C said:

How long is your movie? Should it end up on one of my terrible reviews?

30 minutes. I can shoot you or anyone here a screener link. It’s not posted publicly, so don’t share it lol. But reviews are cool!

Got a few of them: 

A Philosophical & Aesthetics Analysis by K. Akrivos, PhD - “Ode to the Whale of Christ”  (director - David Matthew Johnson)

Rome Prisma Review

Luminous Frames review

Ode to the Whale of Christ: Religion, Art And Humanity

I’d add a @Contentious C link if you don’t hate it too much! Haha

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6 hours ago, Octopus said:

30 minutes. I can shoot you or anyone here a screener link. It’s not posted publicly, so don’t share it lol. But reviews are cool!

Got a few of them: 

A Philosophical & Aesthetics Analysis by K. Akrivos, PhD - “Ode to the Whale of Christ”  (director - David Matthew Johnson)

Rome Prisma Review

Luminous Frames review

Ode to the Whale of Christ: Religion, Art And Humanity

I’d add a @Contentious C link if you don’t hate it too much! Haha

Hey, Congratulations Man! That's awesome. Ya did it! You made a fucking movie! Fuck, yeah!

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Derp. Screening went well. Mostly friends and family but it was a success in my eyes due to a few randoms wandered in. Got drinks and derp afterwards. 
Here’s a few pics that were taken:

Spoiler

0-E891-CCE-2-E49-4416-9-F94-160-D8-F418-

993192-A8-DFA5-4-E0-A-BA11-881-AF3-F4510

6685-B8-F7-12-B8-4-C2-F-A061-17-C13-FD25

0-E22-D383-83-C8-41-B1-BBD7-7-A3-BD28-A9

DEF9-A744-82-E6-47-F3-8182-0-D6-B9-B49-C

AC36-EFBE-EF42-4-F00-AC40-B6-AC4-D6572-A

D9487-F7-A-F8-DE-4-E4-E-B5-AE-3-BA097-AB
 

83437-C08-F7-CA-419-C-BF57-FD46-E5-CDE4-

06679-FA8-3900-4-B2-A-AC33-3-ADD8738-B17

5-DD697-A0-CF55-4-AEA-9190-BB70526581-BC

21955367-C360-4-C08-A400-C4-E21-E96-ED6-
 

B7756-A59-85-DC-4-CA9-9-B31-76-F326-FEBF
 

4410-E25-E-4-BEC-410-F-8201-344352-E54-F

EF604129-DE2-C-40-D8-975-C-0-E6-A4259483

9-CDE11-D3-8-A04-449-E-85-AE-1-F1-F8667-

Good fun. I’ll likely do more screenings in the future as I build up my filmography.

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8 minutes ago, Octopus said:

Derp. Screening went well. Mostly friends and family but it was a success in my eyes due to a few randoms wandered in. Got drinks and derp afterwards. 
Here’s a few pics that were taken:

  Hide contents

0-E891-CCE-2-E49-4416-9-F94-160-D8-F418-

993192-A8-DFA5-4-E0-A-BA11-881-AF3-F4510

6685-B8-F7-12-B8-4-C2-F-A061-17-C13-FD25

0-E22-D383-83-C8-41-B1-BBD7-7-A3-BD28-A9

DEF9-A744-82-E6-47-F3-8182-0-D6-B9-B49-C

AC36-EFBE-EF42-4-F00-AC40-B6-AC4-D6572-A

D9487-F7-A-F8-DE-4-E4-E-B5-AE-3-BA097-AB
 

83437-C08-F7-CA-419-C-BF57-FD46-E5-CDE4-

06679-FA8-3900-4-B2-A-AC33-3-ADD8738-B17

5-DD697-A0-CF55-4-AEA-9190-BB70526581-BC

21955367-C360-4-C08-A400-C4-E21-E96-ED6-
 

B7756-A59-85-DC-4-CA9-9-B31-76-F326-FEBF
 

4410-E25-E-4-BEC-410-F-8201-344352-E54-F

EF604129-DE2-C-40-D8-975-C-0-E6-A4259483

9-CDE11-D3-8-A04-449-E-85-AE-1-F1-F8667-

Good fun. I’ll likely do more screenings in the future as I build up my filmography.

Cheers and congratulations, my friend xxx.

Edited by The Natural
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13 hours ago, Octopus said:

Derp. Screening went well. Mostly friends and family but it was a success in my eyes due to a few randoms wandered in. Got drinks and derp afterwards. 
Here’s a few pics that were taken:

  Reveal hidden contents

0-E891-CCE-2-E49-4416-9-F94-160-D8-F418-

993192-A8-DFA5-4-E0-A-BA11-881-AF3-F4510

6685-B8-F7-12-B8-4-C2-F-A061-17-C13-FD25

0-E22-D383-83-C8-41-B1-BBD7-7-A3-BD28-A9

DEF9-A744-82-E6-47-F3-8182-0-D6-B9-B49-C

AC36-EFBE-EF42-4-F00-AC40-B6-AC4-D6572-A

D9487-F7-A-F8-DE-4-E4-E-B5-AE-3-BA097-AB
 

83437-C08-F7-CA-419-C-BF57-FD46-E5-CDE4-

06679-FA8-3900-4-B2-A-AC33-3-ADD8738-B17

5-DD697-A0-CF55-4-AEA-9190-BB70526581-BC

21955367-C360-4-C08-A400-C4-E21-E96-ED6-
 

B7756-A59-85-DC-4-CA9-9-B31-76-F326-FEBF
 

4410-E25-E-4-BEC-410-F-8201-344352-E54-F

EF604129-DE2-C-40-D8-975-C-0-E6-A4259483

9-CDE11-D3-8-A04-449-E-85-AE-1-F1-F8667-

Good fun. I’ll likely do more screenings in the future as I build up my filmography.

Congrats! That looks like a cool venue. I've never seen Whip and Body but Il Demonio is fucking awesome

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Hey, I watch horror movies, too; it's not all in the Secret Satan thread!  Day 454 (and counting) of...something, It Came from the Eighties Edition.

Your Baby's Dirty Diaper

Wolfen - Man, this probably had potential but steps on itself repeatedly by having too many threads that aren't useful or interesting or well-explored.  Albert Finney is a strange, albeit decent enough pick for a lead, but for as far removed from reality as this becomes, it never features him becoming particularly unhinged over the weird developments.  And Finney was a guy who could have pulled off a role where he's left alone to understand what truly happened, even if everyone else thinks he's lost it.  And, as I'll bring up again later, how are the bad guys the bad guys here?  Killing the ultra-capitalist greedy fuck straight out of the gate?  Good, go do another, please.  If this is a horror movie, it's a thin one, and nearly always due to the gore - maybe only because of the gore, in fact.  The camera stuff that this is probably best known for was obviously done far better by others down the road, but it's OK-ish anyway.  Well, aside from quite possibly the most laughable sex scene this side of a Zack Snyder movie.  But mostly, this is just weakly tropey and obvious by today's standards.

The 15:17 to Paris - Oh, hey, why hadn't I heard much about this Clint Eastwood movie?  Oh, probably because it's fucking awful.  I'm beginning to think that he's like some kind of modern-day Elizabeth Bathory, except he stays alive by sucking off the American military for all it's worth.  This is a particularly egregious example of that, and a bit like Slumdog Millionaire in the worst way possible, by suggesting that 'destiny' or 'fate' or 'mistakes' were supposed to happen to put some U.S. troops on this particular train at this particular time.  That's great...for the attacks that get stopped.  But what, the people who died in other attacks didn't deserve someone to save them before the worst happened?  What the fuck ever, man.  Suggesting intention behind things like this just insults the intention you refuse to read into all the things that didn't work out well for anyone.  Oh, and of particular note is Jenna Fischer; I know there was a discussion before about Bruce Willis and how the Razzies shouldn't exist, but, holy fuck, watch her in this movie and you will change your mind about that.  She is beyond awful and deserves to be laughed at for this movie until possibly the end of time (i.e., another 2.5 years).

30 Minutes or Less - Look, I like Danny McBride, and I usually like Jesse Eisenberg, but when these guys don't have material that's funny and/or chewy, just...no.  I don't want to see them, either of them, basically at all.  And this is got to be close to the nadir of the sort of stoner-centric movie that got churned out with regularity 10 or so years ago.  On the other hand, I kind of wonder if a chunk of comedic sludge like this is a kind of necessary evil so that someone like McBride can eventually do something as funny as the first season of Vice Principals.  Though at the end of the day, no one else in this film tops Aziz Ansari for being unfunny, so I remain baffled as to why he was ever famous in the first place.

We Have Always Lived in the Castle - It isn't a good sign for your movie when, 45 minutes in, your audience might be thinking, "Gee, this feels like a weaksauce Shirley Jackson copycat story" and then the credits roll and it turns out it was a weaksauce Shirley Jackson adaptation.  There are a couple of scenes towards the end that see this get decidedly uncomfortable and considerably more interesting, but much of the rest of it doesn't really work.  Sometimes it's absurd and having a laugh at itself, other times you're supposed to empathize with the central characters (but really only because so many others are so awful), and then it gets dark and disturbing, and the whole thing is far too uneven to hold together in a meaningful way.  Maybe someone who can get into the headspace of Taissa Farmiga's character better than I can would have a higher opinion of this.

AXE Body Spray Instead of Shower

The Starling - Man, Chris O'Dowd and Melissa McCarthy seem like they should be a good fit for a sad movie, but I'm really just done - completely and totally done - with movies where they Fridge a dead kid and then try to show us what the aftereffects are.  This is not a good example of how that's done.  O'Dowd's bit is especially rough, since after everything they show in the film, they just sort of tack on this explanation from him where he was always depressed anyway and this is just One More Thing in His Shitty Life, which is quite the spectacular way to undercut your whole damn movie.  And then the bird thing...Jesus.  It's kind of cute sometimes, but it's annoying far more often than not.  The only unusual-in-a-good-way piece of this is Kevin Kline.  Since the director did St. Vincent, I get the impression that he wanted to cast Bill Murray and couldn't, so maybe he gave Kline the note to do his best old man/understated Bill Murray and...it's the reined-in Kevin Kline that should have been in probably 75% of his films?  Holy shit.

The Keep - Well, here's Michael Mann's worst movie, and honestly, it's still pretty damn interesting for the first 15 minutes, at least while you think it's going to be a vampire movie (and it still almost, maybe, kinda-sorta is).  But then it just...gets...strange.  Again, I would say this doesn't deserve to be called horror, in part because you question if the "bad" guy is doing "bad" things?  He's slaughtering Nazis at the height of WWII!  But then, what is it?  Well, this is an illustration of the recent Twitter meme about sci-fi versus fantasy: the whole point is you can't often tell the difference unless it's very clearly stated, and this film utterly and completely fails to make any such distinctions.  Set in Carpathia, involves a guy who heals when he kills others, locked away by a bunch of crosses?  Sure sounds like fantasy.  But his gatekeeper has glowing blood and a superweapon he carries everywhere?  Sure sounds like they're aliens from a sci-fi story.  There are some interesting thematic elements that could have made a compelling movie, but they're not taken seriously enough for long enough, and there's at least as much bad as good, such as the gross way the only named woman in the movie is treated.  But hey: Mann's Awesome Soundtrack Streak remains unbroken.

That'll Do, Pig

The Slumber Party Massacre - Yep.  This was the best thing I watched all week.  And I think it's funnier and more ridiculous than it has received credit for being.  Whatever the story behind it or what kind of monkey business did or didn't happen with the script, its gender- and expectation-swapping of damn near every slasher trope aside from the killer still work pretty well, and the sight gags are solid.  Is it well-shot or well-acted?  No, it's exactly as amateurish as any other B-movie.  Could it have been more insightful and more biting?  Sure!  But what we got still has something to say, I think.  As an artifact of its time, it's a worthwhile entry to compare alongside some of the more well-known varieties of the genre, and probably the only horror movie or series I've seen (admittedly that isn't that much) that has an ending like this - where you're left truly aware that what you saw wasn't funny or crazy but deeply traumatic to the people who lived it - is probably Halloween, which is decent company to keep.  And given that most of the movie is played for laughs, it's a heck of a trick to pull off for a finish.

Edited by Contentious C
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3 minutes ago, Tabe said:

30 Minutes or Less, which I have admittedly not seen, is just a gross concept to me. Making a comedy out of a real, vicious murder like that... no. Just no. 

Did you like To Die For? Or does that not fit since it was only inspired by a real crime? 

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