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J.T.

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The new TCM was...fine I guess? I didn't dislike it but don't think I'll be keen to watch it multiple times. It didn't feel like it took a dump on the franchise as a whole or insult my intelligence so it's got that going for it. I definitely liked it better than that shitty Leatherface prequel or the third movie in the remake series.

Spoiler

Bringing back the final girl only to have her basically end up like Dick Halloran in the movie version of The Shinning seemed pointless and was especially annoying after she had him at gunpoint and then just let him go. Leatherface just randomly ambling down the stairs, looking like a somewhat normal person, then just getting in the ambulance at the beginning kinda bugged me as well. I would have liked him to have a more impressive or creepy intro than that.

The end normally would have made me eyeroll but like others have said, a pack of utterly unlikeable protagonists made me fine with it.

 

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2 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

Well I even liked the one with Renee Zellweger and Matthew McConaughey so maybe you shouldn't entirely take my word for it haha. It was fun to have a couple drinks to and watch some people get whacked out in nasty fashion. 

TCM: The Next Generation is at least fun in its shittiness. 2,3,and 4 all have a level of camp to them that is enjoyable. This was just hollow, to me.

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9 hours ago, odessasteps said:

I am still being thrown off by Chainsaw being referred to by the same initials as everyone’s favorite classic film network. ?

I am glad I wasn't the only one since I was like "Did TCM start doing dedicated horror specials"

To Curt's point about divisiveness - I think that is built in inheritably in any sort of reboot/remake no matter the genre now. The challenge is finding folks who (if you care about that sort of thing) have watched both movies and, theoretically, can make informed opinions about it (as opposed to OMG!!! HOW DARE THEY REMAKE WEST SIDE STORY??? NO I HAVEN'T WATCHED THE REMAKE OR THE ORIGINAL!!!! I AM JUST ANGRY!!! FUCK YOU AND YOUR YOUTH!!!!)

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Okay I watched the new Turner Classi…Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and I’ve got takes for days! 

Ebert described cinema as an empathy machine that at its highest aspirations can help a society grow through increased understanding.

Ebert also found the original TCM a well-crafted but unnecessary geek show, and he essentially implored his readers to see anything but the Michael Bay remake in 2003.

“There are a lot of good movies playing right now that can make you feel a little happier, smarter, sexier, funnier, more excited -- or more scared, if that's what you want. This is not one of them. Don't let it kill 98 minutes of your life.”

I’ve no doubt he’d feel similarly about the 2022 requel. But for me, any movie can achieve the status of art simply by being a gauge of where our society is at the moment, thus creating a cultural artifact. 

Tim Gunn had this to say about another sometimes maligned art form, fashion design, that I think applies similarly to film:

Spoiler

“Designers, I believe, on one hand, see themselves as just that: designers. But when they are in fashion, I believe they also see themselves as being sociologists in a way. Their work is emblematic of a particular time and place. I certainly don’t want to imply that you could take an article of clothing or a furniture design or a work of architecture and say this defines America in the Obama era. But that item or that object or that building is an atom or a molecule that’s extracted from the larger structure of society and culture. In some ways, it is easier to reflect on it than it is to either predict it or describe it in the here and now, which is certainly what fashion historians tend to do.“

This new exercise in terror is written by someone trying to describe the here and now rather than just create and allow time for others to reflect. I don’t know the exact age of the screenwriter, Chris Thomas Devlin, but I’d guess he’s roughly my age based on his clear contempt for both Gen Z and, to some extent, Boomers.

This is all text and no subtext, a series of hot button issues of the day arranged in a way to make sure everyone knows this is the 2022 Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We can spend hours discussing the implications of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre being filmed and released during the final throes of both Vietnam and the Watergate scandal, but I’m pretty certain that Tobe Hooper wasn’t going through transcripts of Firing Line episodes with a highlighter to find subjects to toss into the screenplay. 

So anyway, this amounts to me viscerally hating the first few minutes of this new film and becoming convinced it was going to be a movie about some brave Texans executing hipsters for the crime of doing cringe. And it kind of is. 

What I didn’t see coming was filmmaker David Blue Garcia making an incredibly taut, well-paced horror thriller, with some of the best sound design I’ve heard in a movie in ages. 

The dissonance between what’s on the page and how that translated to the screen is jarring and fascinating. 

As far as the Sally Hardesty character, I do think that the parallels to the Green Halloween films’ take on Laurie are appropriate, and its where the lack of nuance and subtlety actually works. Halloween Kills collapses under the weight of its metaphor. This movie isn’t using metaphors, its using similes, and its like or as if someone being consumed by past trauma is bad for them. 

As far as the Shining comparison, Sally is a bit more useful than the movie version of Halloran in several ways that I thought were fairly clear. 

Anyway, this was a long way to say I ended up enjoying it despite myself. David Blue Garcia has a bright future. Boy does he know how to frame someone in terror moments before they brutally die. 

And in all fairness to Devlin’s screenplay he does use some ingenuity to get a lot of bodies in one place to be de-limbed. I’m also not personally above his style; a couple of years ago I wrote a horror screenplay for a film student friend that was a meditation on where we were politically at the time, and it wasn’t particularly subtle or timeless either. 

I guess it compares best to the 2009 Friday the 13th in the sense that I had a good time but the zeitgeisty stuff is a turnoff and isn’t going to age well. 

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Firestarter

In Theaters & Streaming on Peacock May 13

Directed by Keith Thomas (The Vigil)

Cast:

  • Zac Efron as Andrew "Andy" McGee
  • Ryan Kiera Armstrong as Charlene "Charlie" McGee
  • Sydney Lemmon as Victoria "Vicky" McGee
  • Michael Greyeyes as John Rainbird
  • Kurtwood Smith
  • John Beasley
  • Gloria Reuben
Edited by J.T.
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I ignored it the first time around. It looks like it's gonna be both a bad movie and an enormous hit. Soundtrack is dope too. 

The Friday remake has a really fun ending, so there's that going for it.

EDIT: Was the Firestarter book good? That's one of the ones from King I never read as a kid (most of It, Cujo, Christine would be the other ones). Only saw some of the movie on TV; if Kurtwood Smith is playing the George C. Scott role that's awesome. 

EDIT II: Was talking '70s/'80s books. Never read all of Salem's Lot either. Looking at the bibliography, my interest seems to have pinned around Nightmares and Dreamscapes. 

Edited by Curt McGirt
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8 hours ago, RIPPA said:

The thing I love the most is I posted that trailer 2 pages ago and you even liked it

I am old. I thought I was posting Trailer 2.

7 hours ago, Curt McGirt said:

EDIT: Was the Firestarter book good? That's one of the ones from King I never read as a kid (most of It, Cujo, Christine would be the other ones). Only saw some of the movie on TV; if Kurtwood Smith is playing the George C. Scott role that's awesome. 

EDIT II: Was talking '70s/'80s books. Never read all of Salem's Lot either. Looking at the bibliography, my interest seems to have pinned around Nightmares and Dreamscapes. 

Michael Greyeyes is playing the George C Scott role, John Rainbird aka only Stephen King would create a psychotic Native American villain.

As far as the books go, Firestarter was really good as was 'Salem's Lot.  Neither suffers from King's penchant for horrible endings, but the endings for those books aren't really conclusive either.

Edited by J.T.
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The infamous TBS cut of Needful Things included the hour of footage that ended up on the editing room floor.  It was much better than the theatrical release which was all about getting to the part with the Devil in it as quickly as possible, but it lacked the exposition that made Needful Things such a personal story.  

King has made a career off of using small town social dynamics to set the stage for stories of relentless evil.

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I just wanted to chime in to say that I really enjoyed the new Texas Chainsaw Massacre, however, I think I've enjoyed all of them in some way or fashion. Texas Chainsaw Massacre 4 with Matthew and Renee is probably the funniest movie I've ever seen in my life.  I don't think I've ever laughed harder than i did the first time I saw that, so it holds a special place in my heart.

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From Wiki: 

Quote

On January 16, 2020, Koch Media released a three-disc Region B/2 Blu-ray/DVD set, with both formats including both the theatrical version and a standard definition open matte version of the TBS extended cut.

In case you wanted to see it. I don't think I even saw the theatrical cut. Had no idea the long cut was infamous or even remembered TBH. 

Another review from work last night: my GM liked Chainsaw and hated Halloween Kills. She complained about Michael never dying and we joked about the next one being Halloween Endless. 

Edited by Curt McGirt
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Universal Monsters - We Will Be Monsters

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The four shorts reimagine a whole host of classic Universal monsters in ways different from their usual portrayals. This includes Dracula, Frankenstein’s Bride, Van Helsing, The Wolf Man, and The Mummy. They tell one overarching story that eventually leads them into the world of Fortnite. 

Basically last fall Universal did these shorts - directed by Rick Famuyiwa (who directed episodes of the Mandalorian) - last Fall in the game (Fortnite) and now put them all on Youtube.

Only really horror because of the characters

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You Won't Be Alone

Directed by Goran Stolevski

Cast:

  • Noomi Rapace 
  • Anamaria Marinca
  • Alice Englert
  • Carloto Cotta
  • Félix Maritaud
  • Sara Klimoska 

Only in theaters starting April 1st.

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