Smelly watches every Nitro-era Nitro, Thunder, Clash, and PPV while sitting and sometimes maybe standing

[twiztor]

1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said:

Nice! Thanks so much. As soon as it's done uploading, I'll take a look at it. 

weird, i didn't post it until (i thought) it had fully uploaded. Looks like there must have been a problem with the title. it should be fixed now (?)

[SirSmUgly]

Show #221 – 3 January 2000

“The one that goes back to two hours (YESSSS) and stuffs that two hours with lots of mediocre talking and a bad tag title tournament (NOOOOO)”

• IN THE YEAR TWO THOOOOOOUSANNNNND…IN THE YEAR TWO THHHOUUUUUUUSSSSAAAAANNNND…*stares deeply into the camera with a light shining up from underneath my chin, talks in slightly nasally voice of a late-night TV host*…Scientists learn that free radicals cause aging and disease in the body. Wrestling fans learn that freed Radicalz are caused by aging and disease in WCW’s body…IN THE YEAR TWO THOOOOOOOOUUUUSAAAAAND…

 

• We have finally made it to the year 2000; it’s the final full year of WCW television, which I’m sure would have made at least a few Turner execs pleased had they known it at the time.

 

• Nitro is back to two hours! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

 

• Recap: The nWo swaps one Scott for another and destroys another one of Sid’s cars.

 

• A plane pulls up to the airport in Greenville. Apparently, Bill Busch has hired a new WCW Commissioner, a position which was vacated by Roddy Piper when he, I don’t know, became Ric Flair’s Vice President? Was re-assigned to refereeing duty by Vince Russo? One of those two events caused Piper to vacate the office, I think.

 

• Damn Russo for whatever mistakes he’s made as a booker, but this dude makes tournament brackets! I commend him for that! Here are our Lethal Lottery Tag Team Title matchups based on the brackets:

 

• Group #1: Buzzkill and Mike Rotundo/a vs. the Harris Boys; PG-13 vs. Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner

 

• Group #2: Lash LeRoux and Midnight vs. David Flair and Crowbar; Screamin’ Norman Smiley and Asya vs. Chris Kanyon and Buff Bagwell

 

• The rest of the tournament will play out tonight, and is there any question as to who will win this? I mean, if I squint, maybe Flair and Crowbar come out of their side of the bracket and get a lot of help from Benoit/Sid/whomever on the run-in to take the titles, but really? It seems almost too obvious which team is winning this. We’ll know if Russo is at his most swervealicious if he finds a way not to take the most obvious route (which is also probably the correct route to take).

 

• Buzzkill comes out to knockoff NAO music and verbally knocks off his annoying, yet very over brother in the other company. He joins Mike Rotundo/a (w/Leia Meow, Sullivan) in the ring for their match against the Harris Boys. These dickheads make Leia drag a trampoline out like the dastardly heels they are. Then they make her do jumping jacks while bouncing on it like the magnificent babyfaces they are.

 

• Why the hell are we letting Rotundo/a talk? He shits on Clemson and says that they don’t deserve to wear orange (like his beloved Syracuse does, of course). The Harris Boys get out here as Sully joins the desk. Rick Steiner’s not here, in a facetious comment made by Sully, because he egged another professor’s house and Sullivan punished him for it; Tenay can’t resist and calls Sully “a harsh taskmaster.” Oh you. Miss Hancock comes out and shoves Leia off the trampoline; Standards & Practices covers her up. Sully and Rotundo/a chase S&P down the aisle, leaving Buzzkill alone to get H-Bombed for the loss. Sully and Rotundo/a come back to the ring, boot a downed Buzzkill, and spark a short brawl with the Harris Boys before backing off.

 

• Tony S., along with hyping the reveal of a new WCW commissioner and running through another recap of the nWo’s antics from last week, says that Sid ducked the brunt of the giant monster truck attack and will be cleared to wrestle Bret at Souled Out. Ah, but will Bret be cleared to wrestle Sid? No. No, he won’t be.

 

• There are going to be a lot of title changes this year, so I think I’ll track the number of World Heavyweight Championship changes. I know that’s been long done in a somewhat (in)famous video, so I’ll also track the World Tag Team Championship and U.S. Championship changes, just to get a running count of title changes for the only three titles in the company that currently matter (though the World Cruiserweight Championship will be meaningful again later in the year). Note: VACANT will count as a champion for the purposes of these trackers.

 

• The nWo debates whether or not this new commissioner is important to the nWo's plans as they watch the show on a monitor. Nash jokes that the new commish is a toss-up between Orson Bean and Tom Zenk. Ah, Nash and his random references. They all wonder where Bret is until the monitor shows him arriving. The monitor also shows Sid, wearing a neck brace, as he runs up on Bret and beats the crap out of him.

 

• After the break, the nWo is on the scene, and they beat the shit out of the medics who are attempting to help Bret.

 

• Boy, they keep teasing this new commissioner being revealed, and it had better deliver if we’re going to keep getting shots of the commish’s motorcade.

 

• Diamond Dallas Page interviews with Okerlund about his Last Man Standing Match against Buff Bagwell at Souled Out, and Page hits an insider comment by asking why WCW sent him a ticket to this show if he already said he wasn’t wrestling again until he got Buff in the ring, then claiming that WCW’s travel office is a wasteful bunch of dopes. Ha. Ha. Curt Hennig accosts Page and says that TPtB is demanding that Page get in the ring tonight. Page asks who is in the ring now; Hennig mentions that PG-13 are headed out there. Page asserts that he’ll be out there, too.

 

• PG-13 enters the ring; we see a replay of Rick Steiner kicking the shit out of PG-13 last week even after he’d already destroyed them, which led to a reverse decision that allowed PG-13 to move on in the tournament. Wow, these guys are just here to get killed for a few shows, I guess. JC Ice insults a dude in the crowd by pointing out his ears: “Looks like your mama had an affair with Dumbo!” Tony S. misses a chance to land a reference of his own by saying that PG-13 is glad to move on in the tournament by “any means at all.” NECESSARY, Tony. By any means NECESSARY.

 

• Page comes out in street clothes and rolls PG-13 before the match. JC Ice gets a TKO-style Diamond Cutter; Wolfie D gets a super Diamond Cutter after being crotched on the top rope. Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash come to the ring as Page leaves through the crowd. Production plays the Wolfpac music. Tony S.: WOLFPAC MUSIC! Production realizes their mistake and plays “Rockhouse” instead. Tony S.: nWo MUSIC! Hahahaha.

 

• Nash gets in the ring, drags Wolfie D to a neutral corner, then drops a measured elbow on JC Ice and hooks Ice’s trunks for three. Nash and Steiner spray paint PG-13. What a tag tournament!

 

• The nWo heads to the ring as commentary tosses around potential commissioners: Bob Geigel and Ric Flair are named. Bret complains about not getting any respect and informs Sid, the “big, stupid dummy,” that he’s in for it at Souled Out. He’s really boring, honestly. Let’s move it along and get to the next storyline beat. The Hitman gives the rest of the nWo the night off, then hands the mic to Jeff Jarrett.

 

• Jarrett says SLAPPY NEW YEAR, which is really awful, and then yammers on for a while. Basically, he runs down Chris Benoit. It’s a mediocre promo. MOVE IT ALONG, FELLA. Benoit is apparently wrestling for New Japan tonight. Nash wants more microphones so they don’t have to pass this one around. He does rightly point out that the commissioner is just going to make rules that the nWo will invariably break. Scotty says that the crowd obviously liked him when he almost retired last week, but he doesn’t like them. He’s more of a suit-and-tie Wall Street sort of guy, not a, uh, “tobacco-chewin’ inbred WHITE TRASH” type of guy. Steiner obviously cut the best promo of these guys.

 

• After a shot of the limo arriving at the arena, we get David Flair and Crowbar (w/Daffney) entering the ring for their match against Lash LeRoux and Midnight. We see a replay in which Stevie uses his slapjack to bonk LeRoux right on top of Booker’s body for three from last week. Lash pratfalls out of shock when Midnight appears in front of him. Midnight, annoyed: C’mon, man. That made me chuckle. Dave is extremely awkward in the ring tonight, but at least I can kind of explain it away because he’s not entirely in control of his mental faculties in kayfabe.

 

• Stevie Ray joins commentary. Stevie Ray Insults the World: Calls Midnight a “jacked-up hoochie,” calls Tenay a “minister of propaganda” when Tenay insinuates that Stevie is jealous of Midnight and then tells Tenay to call the match in front of him for once in his life – HAHAHAHAHA. Stevie ranting on commentary is amazing, and he also manages to stick in a kind word for Crowbar and calls him a tough guy. He also goes off at Heenan about commentary always putting over the Steiners and Outsiders, but never Harlem Heat.

 

• Stevie gets sick of watching Midnight stand on the apron and goes over to exhort Lash to tag Midnight in. She tags in and controls Crowbar, even pressing Lash right onto him. She then cartwheels behind Crowbar and dropkicks him, but Stevie trips her on a rope run. Midnight is able to tag Lash before Stevie drags her all the way out to the floor.

 

• So, a lot happens now: First, Booker runs out, shoves Stevie away from Midnight, and gets slumped by Stevie with the slapjack. Second, Disco and the Mamalukes come out to observe Lash, who lands a Whiplash on Crowbar, but is beaten down by the Mamalukes while the referee is outside dealing with Midnight and Harlem Heat. Third, Crowbar jumps David Flair, then drags him on top of Lash after Vito hits the erstwhile LeRoux with an elevated DDT. That gets three. Man, that was a LOT of shit going on at once.

 

• After the break, Lash yells at Disco backstage because of the Mamalukes attack on him in the previous match. Disco is apologetic, but he doesn’t step in when the Mamalukes jump LeRoux and kick the hell out of him.

 

• The Total Sting-age and Liz cut another parodic in-ring promo. Sting-age says that after that embarrassing loss against Package, he needs to redeem himself in front of all the Stingers. He says that there’s some “useless, no-name wrestler” in the back that they’ve lined up for him, and he’s half right: Tank Abbott walks to the ring. Package ain’t having any of that. He backs away. He begs off. He tries to scare Abbott by howling like Sting. Liz jumps up on the apron and maces Abbott, and Luger takes the DQ loss. Jerry Flynn, who was soundly beaten by Abbott on the previous Nitro, comes out to dead silence and gets some revenge against the maced Abbott. Meanwhile, a crow perches in front of TTP as he walks back up the entryway, which scares the bejeezus out of the guy.

 

• The nWo heads outside with baseball bats and prepares to crack up the limo with the new commish in it; security floods the scene.

 

• Rob Carter, a WCW exec who really wants to be on television, comes out here as the bored South Carolina crowd just wants some pro wrestling, dammit. Or for the Horsemen to show up. Carter says “the writers” have “ironclad contracts.” Nearly true! The only legal out Turner wrote into those contracts is if one of the writers suggests making Tank Abbott the World Heavyweight Champion. HURRY UP, WCW EXEC. You are boring and shitty and have no charisma. Just fucking introduce the new guy. The crowd starts WOOing, but they don’t get Ric Flair. They do get Terry Funk, though! That rules! The crowd seems either okay with it or bored. Mostly bored, but there’s a tiny pop. Tony S. tries to say that the crowd is stunned. No, the guys they showed on camera were ready to chug their brews with excitement once Flair came out here, but they’re now disappointed.

 

• Anyway, I’m glad to see Terry Funk on my television, as always. This is actually pretty logical as a choice. He’s a former NWA World Champion who cares about JCP’s progeny, WCW, and can both work and talk. He cuts a promo about loving pro wrestling, but – and I haven’t mentioned this – he says that TPtB are giving people stupid gimmicks. This has been something that wrestlers have said in past promos; specifically, Piper also mentioned TPtB foisting dumb gimmicks on guys. Why are we talking about writers giving guys gimmicks in promos? Stupid. Anyway, Funk says he needs an enforcer, then introduces his first hire, Arn Anderson. The crowd is definitely more into this announcement.

 

• Arn gets the mic, and a WE WANT FLAIR chant fires up. Seriously, WCW really shat on their fans in the Carolinas by not giving them Flair or booking Flair to look like an ass in front of them during this era. The problem is that Flair and Funk keep mentioning Russo and Ferrara, but the crowd doesn’t react because, you know, who the fuck are those two to them? Maybe you could get away with this in front of modern American wrestling fans in 2024 – it would probably work to do a promo like this in front of an AEW crowd, for example – but Southern wrestling fans in 2000 aren’t typically scrolling Online Onslaught or DDT Digest to see the hottest SCOOPZ. They just show up to the arena to see Flair WOO and put some chump in a Figure Four.

 

• The nWo hits the top of the ramp to respond. There has been way too much talking on this two-hour show. Give me some fucking pro wrestling in the ring already. Bret bores the shit out of me as he says that Funk will be put out of pro wrestling one way or another. Terry Funk responds by adding stips to the Hitman/Sid match at Souled Out. First, the nWo causing a DQ will allow the title to change hands. Second, Arn Anderson will be the special referee for the bout. Funk also books Jarrett against Sid for the United States Championship in a Powerbomb Match later tonight. He finishes his speech by telling Nash and Steiner that he plans to screw them out of the tag title tournament.

 

• Nash: “Hey Funk, first off, I thought you were dead.” Then, he yammers on, lets everyone know he’s seen Tombstone, all that sort of thing. I think he’s referenced Tombstone at least once or twice before, so maybe that’s one of his favorite flicks. Nash threatens to find David Flair and commit violence against him to hurt Arn. That was WAY too much talking, and none of it was interesting.

 

• When we come back from break, Funk and Arn direct WCW Security Forces and reinforce one another’s confidence in being able to combat the nWo.

 

• Buff Bagwell and Chris Kanyon (w/ladies, sans J. Biggs) meet Norman Smiley and Asya in the last of the quarterfinal matches. Kanyon is wearing Year 2000 glasses. Of course. Kanyon insults Buff’s movie career by saying that his movies suck. I mean, No Holds Barred really did suck. He does say that Buff’s a better wrestler than actor and offers Buff the champagne bottle for his exemplary work in carrying their team through the first round of the tag tournament.

 

• Buff responds by bigging up Greenville, saying that Kanyon sucks, and claiming that he doesn’t like champagne. Really? You don’t like a mimosa, even? Buff knocks out Kanyon by smashing the champagne bottle over his head. Meanwhile, Norman Smiley comes out in the mascot’s costume for the minor-league Greenville Grrrowl hockey team. Buff works this one alone again since Kanyon is indisposed. The Greenville Grrrowl’s mascot is a dog named Grrruff. Smiley does Bagwell’s dance and wiggles a bit after knocking down Buff, so Buff beats him up.

 

• Asya eventually tags in and hits an elbow to the *ahem* lower abdomen, but Buff blocks her vertical suplex attempt and hits one of his own. Asya tags Norm back in…and dances. Then, he gets beaten up. Finally, he screams. Asya jumps in and Buff holds them off until Asya low blows Buff. Norm tries to hit Buff with the mascot head, but Buff ducks and Norm clocks Asya, then eats a Blockbuster for three. Saturn jumps Buff after the match, but then Asya and Saturn beef with one another because no group or stable can ever be harmonious for long in the Russo-Ferrara Era. Hacksaw Duggan runs down with the 2x4 and beats up the dudes in the Revolution. I guess he came out to save Asya or something? Eventually, the dudes stomp him out while Asya complains about it, but Kidman and Konnan run in and make the save.

 

• Arn and Funk try to find David Flair backstage before the nWo finds him. This goes on both before and after the commercial break, and eventually, Funk runs into Daffney, who cackles after sharing that she has an idea where Dopey Dave might be.

 

• Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner hit the ring. OK, so I assumed that these guys were the clear winners of the tournament, but if Funk does manage to screw them in either their semifinal match against the Harris Boys or in the final, who wins this thing? Please, not these charisma-free twin idiots. I’d even rather have Buff and Kanyon be tag champs. Dopey Dave and Crowbar seem like the best bet, though. Scotty gets on commentary while Nash gets ponged around in the ring. Nash takes a bat from Scotty; that draws the ref’s attention, and the Varsity Club sneaks up and attacks the Harris Boys, then tosses Ra/oD back in so Steiner can get in the ring and get an easy pinfall, *sigh*.

 

• Daffney won’t tell Funk or Arn where Dopey Dave is. She stomps away, cackling all the while, but Jeff Jarrett manages to pop out and grab her as she heads down the hallway.

 

• Buff Bagwell is back out to face David Flair and Crowbar. Let’s see if Davey makes it out here. Hell, let’s see if Kanyon makes it out here, first. Nope: Bam Bam beats the shit out of Kanyon before the latter can even walk down the ramp, so Bagwell will be alone once more. Bammer slams Kanyon off the stage and through a table, then leaves. Davey and Crowbar do make it to the ring together – no Daffney – and weirdly, Vampiro comes out here. He tells Buff I DON’T LIKE YOU, BUT I WANT THEM as Buff turns to Tony S. and yells SCHIAVONE, WHAT IS HE DOING OUT HERE?! I guess Vampiro is now Buff’s partner in this extremely dumb tournament. It’s still a better tag tournament than the one in early 1999, but only because it’s much, much shorter.

 

• Flair and Arn come out and talk to David Flair, who shrieks a lot. Funk: WHAT IN THE WORLD IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Arn, talking to Funk: “He’s just got bad people around him!” We see mostly Arn and Funk talking to Dopey Dave and barely see Vampiro hit Crowbar with a superplex. This is a hot mess, obviously. Vamp gets irritated that Arn and Funk are out here in the middle of his match, so he goes to the floor and shoves Arn; Funk pops Vamp one in response. Meanwhile, Buff has given up on this dumbass tournament and hits Vampiro with a Blockbuster when Vamp finds his way back into the ring; Flair enters the ring next and covers Vampiro for three.

 

• Jeff Jarrett is out immediately to face Sid in that Powerbomb Match. Oops, no, never you mind. What I meant to type is that Jarrett has Daffney in a chokehold, and the rest of the nWo is here. Steiner: “One thing about you Flairs is you’ve always surrounded yourself with ugly women. I mean, this BITCH is uglier than your mother!” Did I mention that Scott Steiner is a truly vile heel? Totally unlikeable, as a heel should be. But wait, how did Dopey Dave and Crowbar miss the nWo and Daffney? They went right up the ramp and backstage, and the nWo came out immediately after their match. Like, Vampiro was hustling out of there, the timing was so tight on these segments.

 

• Sid (w/neck brace) heads to the ring to face Jeff Jarrett in that Powerbomb Match. This is a zero of a match that manages to sneak an obligabrawl in, right in front of a bunch of Power Plant “elite,” as Tony S. calls them! I catch glimpses of Chuck Palumbo and Elix Skipper in there. Meanwhile, Jarrett attacks the neck, but runs into a big boot and a chokeslam anyway, so the nWo runs down to spoil the match and attack Sid after a ref bump and a Sid powerbomb that the ref is too bumped to see. Slick Johnson doesn’t buy it when Sid tells him that he hit a powerbomb. Is Slick still on the TPtB’s payroll, or what? I’m going to assume so to make it logically come together that Slick would buy Nash’s claim that he powerbombed Sid at Starrcade, but not Sid’s claim that he powerbombed Jarrett. Medics come down to help Sid after the nWo batters him with baseball bats, but Jarrett uses his bat to knock them out.

 

• Crowbar and Dopey Dave tear up the backstage area in an attempt to find Daffney.

 

• Tony S. drops Larry Z.’s “game of human chess” cliché as Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner (w/baseball bats) come to the ring for the finals of the tag title tournament. Dopey Dave and Crowbar run out here all aggy; the bell rings, but there’s not a ref. Steiner handles Crowbar at ringside, then joins commentary while Nash controls Flair in the ring and looks around for a ref to count a quick three. Some fan hangs over the rail to jaw at Scotty, who responds thusly: “What are you lookin’ at, white trash? Get outta my face. Look at you. You look like SHIT.” WOW. Scotty is on one tonight.

 

• OK, so Scotty follows this up by questioning Tony, asking him how much “white trash” he estimates is in the building. Tony S. declines to answer, to Steiner’s incredulousness, but Tenay says, “Well, we are in Greenville, South Carolina.” Tony S., dryly: “And Tenay turns heel.” I mean, I didn’t expect that from Tenay, either. Geez. Heenan: “Would the answer be all?” Scotty, who has only been complimentary toward Heenan tonight, gives him a hearty congratulations for supplying the answer he was looking for. Meanwhile, Nash beats the hell out of Flair and Crowbar in between bitching about the lack of a ref.

 

• Scotty: WHAT THE HELL IS A HURRICANRANA?! A HURRICANRANA?! THAT’S A FRANKENSTEINER! THAT’S BULLSHIT! WHERE DO YOU COME FROM, ANYWAYS?

 

• Arn Anderson comes out and takes over as ref; Nash crotch chops him, so Arn picks up Davey's golden crowbar and tags Nash with it as Nash sets Davey up for a Jackknife. Security blocks off Scotty at the desk as Arn drags Davey on top of Nash and counts three. WCW World Tag Team Championship title change count: One. Dave backs away from the ring with the tag belts, and Jarrett comes up behind him with Daffney in tow. Jarrett gives Dave the signal and Dave uses the golden crowbar to tag Arn at the base of his neck. Jarrett makes the exchange and gives Daffney back as Arn is laid out.

 

• Jarrett and Bret beat down Arn in the aisle while Scotty Steiner and Nash beat down Funk in the ring. Bret and Jarrett drag Arn backstage; Funk is deadweight for a powerbomb, but eventually gets himself up and over for Nash. Meanwhile, Bret and Jarrett stuff Arn into the trunk of a car; Steiner and Nash join them, and they all drive off, threatening to crush the car with the monster truck and explode Arn’s neck for good.

 

• Boy, that show was one awful, talking-and-angle-heavy show. But at least it was only two hours! -6 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

Edited September 7 by SirSmUgly

[zendragon]

that was hard to follow!

[twiztor]

3 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

Show #221 – 3 January 2000

• Flair and Funk keep mentioning Russo and Ferrara, but the crowd doesn’t react because, you know, who the fuck are those two to them? Maybe you could get away with this in front of modern American wrestling fans in 2024
• Kanyon insults Buff’s movie career by saying that his movies suck. I mean, No Holds Barred really did suck.
• Is Slick still on the TPtB’s payroll, or what? I’m going to assume so to make it logically come together that Slick would buy Nash’s claim that he powerbombed Sid, but not Sid’s claim
• Tony S. drops Larry Z.’s “game of human chess” cliché

so what you're saying is that Russo was ahead of his time?

i had no idea that Buff was in the certified classic No Holds Barred. i would say i'm due a rewatch, but nah....

alternately, Slick saw the replay and/or got chewed out by his boss, so he's not going to make that mistake again.

much to my eternal disdain, Larry always called it the "human game of chess". as opposed to, you know, the horse game of chess.

[zendragon]

wait until Terry Funk gets kicked THEN its the horse game of chess

[caley]

20 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

He’s more of a suit-and-tie Wall Street sort of guy

The image of Scott Steiner trying to read and understand the WSJ brings me great joy.

 

20 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

Jarrett says SLAPPY NEW YEAR, which is really awful,

I know Jarrett had good matches in WCW but it's all overshadowed in my brain by his dreadful promos and skits like this.

So the nWo's endgame was to beat up Arn Anderson and NOT to win the tag titles?! Then why did they enter the tournament?! I remember at this point in my WCW fandom being very enthused by the Flair/Crowbar tag titles win because I was completely over the Outsiders and the belts had been passed around amongst mediocre teams for MONTHS at this point. At least Crowbar was pretty good and the team, itself, was somewhat new!

[SirSmUgly]

On 9/7/2024 at 1:32 PM, zendragon said:

that was hard to follow!

It could have been how I wrote it up with minimal editing, but it was probably mostly Russo!

On 9/7/2024 at 4:17 PM, twiztor said:

so what you're saying is that Russo was ahead of his time?

I know you wrote this with tongue at least somewhat firmly in cheek, but he kind of was. You can draw a line from this nonsense to CM Punk replicating his "pipe bomb" promo to diminishing success, every worked-shoot THE PROMOTER IN THE COMPANY I JUST JUMPED FROM DIDN'T PUSH ME LIKE HE SHOULD HAVE debut promo, all of that. 

Quote

I had no idea that Buff was in the certified classic No Holds Barred. i would say i'm due a rewatch, but nah....

He's an extra in a crowd full of kids! 

On 9/7/2024 at 4:17 PM, twiztor said:

alternately, Slick saw the replay and/or got chewed out by his boss, so he's not going to make that mistake again.

Possible, but in kayfabe, Russo would have done said chewing-out on TV because RATINGS, BRO

Quote

much to my eternal disdain, Larry always called it the "human game of chess". as opposed to, you know, the horse game of chess.

It is entirely possible that I switched them myself. It is also entirely possible that Tony S. said it that way. WCW in late 1999/early 2000, everybody! It wears all of us down! 

8 hours ago, caley said:

The image of Scott Steiner trying to read and understand the WSJ brings me great joy.

I'm sure Scotty invited the top brokers at Goldman-Sachs to some fine dining with him at his former Shoney's location.

Quote

I know Jarrett had good matches in WCW but it's all overshadowed in my brain by his dreadful promos and skits like this.

He is a truly awful micworker. He's a good promo guy, but a bad "heavy on catchphrases" promo guy, which is what 1999/2000 calls for. "Don't piss me off" is barely acceptable. "Slapnuts," on the other hand, is embarrassing. 

Quote

So the nWo's endgame was to beat up Arn Anderson and NOT to win the tag titles?! Then why did they enter the tournament?! I remember at this point in my WCW fandom being very enthused by the Flair/Crowbar tag titles win because I was completely over the Outsiders and the belts had been passed around amongst mediocre teams for MONTHS at this point. At least Crowbar was pretty good and the team, itself, was somewhat new!

Well, they were trying to win it. Remember, Arn wasn't around when the tournament started. Heck, Nash was trying to win it before Arn showed up in the ref's outfit. Arn's the guy who battered him with an international object and quickly counted the pin. True to Funk's promise, Nash and Steiner were screwed out of the tournament. They just took immediate revenge on Arn for doing so. 

I said it in that post, but David Flair, Crowbar, and Daffney are at least an interesting trio, and Crowbar can do the bulk of the wrestling and get by just fine, especially with the truncated match lengths of early aughts WCW. I agree with you completely on Davey and Crowbar being theoretically interesting tag champs.

Edited September 9 by SirSmUgly

[SirSmUgly]

Thunder Interlude – show number ninety-three – 6 January 2000

"The WCW Gang, having exhumed the body of the nWo angle, continues to desecrate it with bad segments and weak angles"

• I did update the review for the final Nitro of 1999 thanks to twiztor, in case anyone reading this is interested…Rick Steiner tried to kill PG-13, so it was worth watching the part that the Network cut out!...

 

• Let’s Thunder our way into 2000…

 

• Review: It’s a very talky review of a very talky Nitro…

 

• The nWo drags a beaten and handcuffed Arn Anderson into the arena…

 

• I forgot that Madusa is the Cruiserweight Champ…Yuck…She comes to the ring, Spice in tow, to defend her gold against Asya…Hold on, I thought Oklahoma and Madusa feuded over this belt…There is barely another week before Ferrara gets shunted out of his creative role, right?...Or wait, did he stay on under nKevin Sullivan?...I think he did, actually...I think he stayed until WCW's death, if I do recall correctly...Ah, on cue, here comes Oklahoma…I swear that I typed out my questions before Oklahoma’s theme hit…

 

• Oklahoma joins commentary…Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas come to ringside while Oklahoma rants about Madusa wrestling for titles instead of staying home and making her hubby a damn sandwich, etc., etc….Douglas joins commentary now…Oklahoma is too busy yammering to even let Douglas get a word in edgewise…Douglas instead gets on the apron and draws the ref while Saturn takes out Asya…Madusa hits a bridging German for three…Malenko and Douglas yell at Saturn while Madusa gets on the mic and runs down Oklahoma and the crowd chants U-S-A and the Filthy Animals’s music hits and the Filthy Animals clear the ring and off-camera, Oklahoma shatters his bottle of BBQ sauce over Madusa’s dome…That gets a run-on sentence because it all happened just like that with zero space for anything to breathe…

 

• Tonight’s bouts: Jeff Jarrett vs. Screamin’ Norman Smiley in a Bunkhouse Brawl for the U.S. Championship…David Flair and Crowbar vs. Konnan and Billy Kidman for the Tag Team Championships…THE WALL, BROTHER vs. Jerry Flynn in a Shoot Fight (because everything else is worked on this show, I guess)…Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Kevin Nash…In the middle of those matches being read off, Juventud Guerrera and Psicosis come to the ring…Juvi does his Dollar Tree Rock impression…Juvi rambles a lot and then tries to kick Tony S. off commentary…Tony S.: “The heck with you, man”…For some reason, his response cracked me up…Psicosis forcibly removes Tony from his position…

 

• Terry Funk immediately walks out, and what in hell is happening right now?...This has been an unbroken run of complete nonsense …Funk clobbers Psicosis, then dives over the table and punches Juvi…Funk powerbombs Psicosis through the announce table…WOW, THANKS FOR USING PSICOSIS CORRECTLY, WCW…Fucking company…Funk gets in the ring with a microphone as the crowd chants TERRY, so you know, it worked…But look what they did to my boy Psicosis!...Funk threatens the nWo and tells them to bring Arn to the ring before he goes back there and gets him…

 

• Jeff Jarrett’s music hits while Funk cusses…Jarrett: WAIT A MINUTE OL’ SLAPPY MARSHAL ONE…The fuck is he talking about?...I played it back twice, and I think that’s what he said…I had the same look on my face that Nick Young does in that classic JPG/GIF with all the question marks… Jeff Jarrett “Slapnuts” Count: One, though maybe I should add the “slappy” comments to these counts…Anyway, they threaten one another over Arn’s safety…

 

• Finally, a commercial break…THANK GOODNESS…That opening thirteen minutes was too damn much…

 

• Okerlund talks to the male members of the Revolution backstage…Douglas challenges the Filthy Animals to a six-man tag at Souled Out…He promises a new member of the Revolution…Ugh…Saturn and Malenko talk as well…Malenko promises to eventually swing back around and make Duggan denounce the United States…They leave, and Juventud Guerrera runs up and tries to get Gene’s mic from him so that he can do the backstage interviewing…Okerlund is a lazy dude, so he gives up the mic…

 

• So, WCW cameras have caught up with the nWo torturing Arn with a bat-and-pipe beatdown, but apparently no one else in this company other than the lone WCW camera person shooting this can find them…*sigh*…

 

• Recap: Booker T. and Stevie Ray are at each other’s throats again…Why?...A woman, as usual…OBVIOUSLY BRO, WOMEN RUIN EVERYTHING UNLESS YOU’RE AT A STRIP CLUB, BRO…

 

• Gene Okerlund is still on in-ring interview duty, I suppose…He introduces Booker T., who marches out here with an unhappy look on his face…Booker says really the problems started back when Stevie got suspended and Book needed some backup…Booker is upset that Stevie slapjacked him in front of his own family on NEW YEAR'S EVIL, which didn't have any matches or segments to match the theme, by the way…Book makes an oopsie by saying that Stevie attacked him again “last night” even though this show is airing on Thursday…How many guys are going to be tripped up in interviews because WCW tapes Thunder on Tuesday nights?...Booker wants to come to an accord with Stevie and Midnight, but Stevie stomps out here and says that Midnight sucks and also that he started Harlem Heat so he gets to decide who can be in it…Stevie wants Booker to sign off on a match between Midnight and himself for later…Booker agrees, but he doesn’t want any funny stuff…Booker says that if Stevie wins, he can jettison Midnight, but if she wins, they are a trio whether Stevie likes it or not…Stevie can dig that, but he’s certain he’s going to win this one…

 

• Only the WCW camera person has been able to find the secret Arn Anderson torture spot…Daffney and Crowbar watch the nWo pour hot coffee on Arn on a monitor backstage and cackle…Dopey Dave looks conflicted, though…Even though he’s given Arn two crowbar shots in the past month…

 

• It’s JC Ice/And Wolfie D/If I don't miss my guess/They’re doin’ a J-O-B/…Chavo Jr. joins PG-13 to get into some trios tag action against Three Count…Helms runs at Chavo and gets punched in the jaw…This is all quick tags and high spots…It’s enjoyable, if way too short…Karagias hits a springboard crossbody on Wolfie to the floor…The match breaks down…Chavo tries a tornado DDT on Moore, but Helms uses his dancing circle to bonk Chavo in the head…Moore falls on top of Chavo for three…Three Count dances to celebrate…Once Ernest Miller gets back on the show to join Three Count and Jarrett, I’m going to end up rewinding ten seconds and muting a whole bunch on each show…It'll be worth it, though…

 

• Dopey Dave freaks out on Daffney and leaves to find Arn Anderson…Daffney and Crowbar give zero fucks and go back to giggling…

 

• On one hand, Terry Funk is a shitty boss for physically attacking WCW’s security team while yelling DO SOMETHING RIGHT…On the other hand, WCW’s security team is next-level bad in kayfabe…I have an idea...Why not ask a WCW camera person if they know where Arn is?...

 

• Recap: The BLOCK still exists for some reason, and Jerry Flynn and Tank Abbott like tangling within it…

 

• THE WALL, BROTHER wrestles Jerry Flynn next…Flynn is wearing a clean-white tee and kickboxing pants…That is some high-level "not giving a shit" attire from Flynn…Tank Abbott walks out immediately…Literally, as Flynn and TW,B circle one another right after the bell rings, he comes out to a generic rock them…Tank joins commentary…I mean, if he can figure out the headset, he will…This is a SHOOT fight, unlike all the other fights on this show…Abbott is fucking dreadful with his dumbass quips on the mic…Just vile…Get me Ken Shamrock calmly talking about how he’s going to punch a guy in the neck instead…What if I just muted it and listened to Three Count’s theme as an alternative?...Abbott tries to get “huckleberry” over as an insult for Flynn, then gets up and punches Flynn after the latter squares up to him at ringside…TW,B covers for three…Abbott knocks out TW,B, then lands another punch on Doug Dellinger as security runs out to stop him…This is objectively a fairly well-executed turbo-push of a midcarder, but unfortunately, that midcarder is sorry-ass Tank Abbott…

 

• Dopey Dave is backstage looking for Arn when he comes across a wary Terry Funk…

 

• OK, here’s Jeff Jarrett to defend his United States Championship…Why wouldn't Funk come out here with a bunch of security dudes, beat the shit out of him, and drag him off somewhere to, uh, interrogate him?...Instead, Jarrett walks around free and clear, doing taunts and shit while waiting for Norman Smiley to come to the ring…A Juggalo in the crowd thinks that SMILEY IS HARDCORE, at least according to his sign…Tenay notes that Thunder is soon moving to Wednesday and away from the weekly ass whippings it’s been receiving from Smackdown! on Thursdays…

 

• Jarrett swings, Norman screams…Norm manages to reverse a whip into a drop toehold into a trash can…Norm hits a couple trash can lid shots and then thinks about wiggling…There’s a weird spot in which I guess Norm ducked a cowbell shot…It looks strange and doesn't register with much visual clarity…Smiley swings Jarrett’s cowbell and strikes home…He covers, but Jarrett gets a boot on the ropes…Norm doesn’t notice and dances in celebration, which allows Jarrett to land a guitar shot and the Stroke for three…

 

• Ah, here’s Terry Funk…Alone, of course, because he’s still nominally a babyface…Jarrett gets in Funk’s face…Dopey Dave sneaks up from behind and chokes out Jarrett with his crowbar…Funk handcuffs Jarrett as Dave continues to apply pressure to Jarrett’s throat…We go to break as Funk demands that the nWo get out here…We come back to Funk landing a few trash can lid shots to Jarrett's forehead as the rest of the nWo walks out, dragging Arn with them…Nash says that if Jarrett takes more damage, they’ll toss Arn off the stage and onto the cement…Nash challenges Funk to a match at Souled Out…The stips are that if Funk wins, the nWo is dead, and if Nash wins, he becomes the new commish…

 

• Oh boy, more wrestling matches with “transfer of power” stips…It’s like we never left 1999, huh?...Why would Bill Busch even allow this if he’s so intensely concerned with who is running WCW in kayfabe?...Funk agrees as long as it’s a hardcore match, as long as the rest of the nWo is barred from ringside, and as long as Bret Hart faces him later on Thunder…Oh no…It’s also a hardcore match…Oh…Nooooooooooooo…Anyway, this talky-talk goes on too long and is sub-average…Terry Funk tries to say “cajones,” but it comes out as “kahunas”…Bret: “How ‘bout we make ourselves a little swap here, Beirut-style?”…Arn tries to fight Jarrett as Jarrett passes him…Bret pops him one with the bat…This nWo angle has been the worst…

 

• Disco and Vito collect protection money from local merchants…Disco's bad at the job, so he trades his Rolex to get some money to take back to the mobsters…Disco pretends that he smacked the guy around to get the money…This angle also sucks quite badly…

 

• Terry Funk tries to attend to Arn Anderson backstage, and Stevie Ray busts in to make some pre-match demands…He wants Booker barred from ringside in his upcoming match…Funk doesn’t give a shit and just agrees…Man, this dude SUCKS at being commissioner…Could Commissioner Nash be that much worse?...Uh, I mean "that much worse" in kayfabe, of course...

 

• Stevie Ray matches up with Midnight next…Midnight ducks a clothesline and lands a dropkick…Again, there is a worker who ends up as a solid base for other women somewhere in Midnight, but her development and usage is all wrong…She’s not getting anything useful out of being that size, but having to wrestle small against larger dudes…Stevie lands punches and a clothesline, then mean mugs the hard cam…A Stevie scoop slam and elbow drop should end it, but Stevie pulls her up at two…Stevie’s playing a dangerous game…Much like a cheerleader in a horror movie who has sex in the back seat, he’s playing with dangerous tropes…Stevie pulls Midnight up at two again and goes to ye olde chinlocke…Is Midnight wrestling in Lugz?...And if so, why?...Stevie lands a side slam and takes out his slapjack…Booker runs down, jumps on the apron, and demands that Stevie give him the weapon and win it fairly…Stevie hands it over, shoots Midnight in, and lands a powerslam…He colloquially plays with his food instead of just going for a pinfall, gets small packaged, and loses…Booker and Midnight embrace as Stevie complains to the ref…Stevie temporarily acquiesces and hugs Midnight, then slips away, grabs his slapjack, and uses it to great effect on both her and Booker…This angle, can you believe it, also sucks!...

 

• Okerlund talks to the Filthy Animals…Konnan speaks on this, but Juvi cuts in...He walks up with a lady…The lady claims to be attracted to Okerlund, and he leaves with her…Juvi steps in to continue the interview, and he and Kidman attempt to do something that I believe is meant to pass for comedy…

 

• Okerlund begrudgingly does his job in the ring, which he states that he plans to finish up before going back to his hotel room and fucking this lady - to the cheers of the Florence, South Carolina crowd, might I add…DDP comes to the ring for the interview…Page complains about Buff trying to bang Kimberly…Page invites Buff out to refute his claims, but Buff is nowhere to be seen…This angle ALSO sucks…All the angles in this company suck…Page starts SHOOTIN’ about Bagwell’s first wife leaving him because he’s a cheater…Who gives a single, solitary fuck…Move it along…Page is like BUFF IS GAY…WELL, I MEAN, HE’S BISEXUAL SINCE HE ALSO TRIED TO SLEEP WITH MY WIFE, I GUESS IS MORE ACCURATE TO SAY…AND HE HAS A TINY PENIS…ALL OF THESE THINGS ARE BAD AND BUFF IS BAD TOO…Buff apparently is unmoved by discussions of his sexuality – I’m glad that he’s comfortable with himself - but how dare anyone say that he’s got a teeny peeny!...He runs out and has a brawl with Page that ends up in the crowd…

 

• This lady pretends to want to bang Gene Okerlund…Or maybe she really does want to bang Gene Okerlund…Who am I to say?...

 

• Juvi tries to interview Bam Bam, who is not pleased with Juvi’s interviewing skills and wants to know where Okerlund is…Kanyon runs up and breaks a champagne bottle over Bammer’s head…Juvi did get me to laugh by saying, “Come on, Shampoo, gimme some juice”…It was just so dumb that it got to me…

 

• Kevin Nash comes to the ring for this hardcore match with Bam Bam Bigelow that I guess isn’t going to happen…Nash holds up someone’s SCOTT HALL MADE WRESTLING sign…Bammer is still out in the back…Scott Steiner and Jeff Jarrett run up on the guy, beat on him some more, and knock him into a wheelbarrow…They roll the knocked out Bam Bam to the ring…Nash hits some weak bat shots while the ref calls for the bell…

 

• Konnan and Kidman (w/Rey Misterio Jr.) come to the ring for what Kidman thinks is going to be a coronation based on his comments in that earlier interview…Eddy Guerrero is apparently out after getting elbow surgery…He’s three weeks out from another elbow injury in what is some bad luck for him…David Flair and Crowbar (w/Daffney) enter the ring…Let’s not take the belts off these two anytime soon, actually…Even if Dopey Dave can’t really work, just have them wrestle garbage matches with lots of creative gaga for the finishes…Can you believe that I said “let’s not take the belt off him” about David fuckin’ Flair?!...

 

• Crowbar is a solid worker and has a decent opening sequence with Kidman…He scores a nice spinning back elbow, then lays in kicks and thrusts in the corner…He runs into a boot in the other corner, though, and gets hit with a headscissors and a dropkick…Dave gets his ass beat by Kidman…I think I typed once that I prefer Hudson to Tenay as lead commentator…I’m going to walk that back a little…Hudson’s a bit much for me…I like him, but he comes off as inauthentic a lot of the time, like he’s trying very hard to hit a great call…I don't think I prefer Tenay to Hudson, mind you...I'm neutral in preference as of now...I do prefer Tony S. to both on lead PBP, though...Even burned out late-stage WCW Tony S....

 

• Flair and Kidman exchange control until a Flair blind tag brings Crowbar in for a nice missile dropkick…Crowbar goes to the apron and hits a slingshot guillotine legdrop for two…Konnan, who hasn’t been in the ring yet, gets in there and hits Crowbar with a DDT to give Kidman a chance to try and tag…Crowbar manages a release German to stop that, but then he tries a powerbomb…Whoopsie!...Kidman hits his face crusher counter and goes up for an SSP, but Flair wanders over and trips him…Crowbar tries a super Frankensteiner, but Misterio grabs Kidman’s pants and anchors him to the buckles as Crowbar crashes to the mat below…

 

• Arn Anderson hobbles down as Konnan hits a hot tag…Konnan lands a sit-out facebuster on Dave and tries to wrap him in a Tequila Sunrise…Arn gets on the apron and clocks Konnan with a crowbar…Dave rolls over and covers for three…Rey threatens to crack Arn with his crutch as Arn begs off…The Revolution runs down and jumps Rey…Konnan eventually grabs a crutch, then a pipe to help fight off the Revs…Crowbar is pretty good, is what I got from that match…

 

• This unfortunate Terry Funk/Bret Hart hardcore bout is our main event for the night…I am not going to enjoy this whatsoever…In a night with matches full of weapon shots, this match is certainly one of them…Funk’s stupid ass is taking chair shots to the head in a nothing Thunder match for some reason…He’s Terry Funk, that’s the reason…The man lived a life full of pointless chair shots, and I’m sure he’d do it all again in a hot second…Funk makes a comeback after taking a beating…Hart takes a couple of weapon shots to the head…Urgh…

 

• Funk tries to hit a trash-can assisted moonsault, whiffs, and eats another chair to the dome…Here comes the end-of-match fuckery…Bret Pillmanizes Funk’s leg, then KOs the ref…We cut to the back where Arn tries to put on a ref shirt…Dopey Dave comes up and says that he’ll ref the match for Arn…He locks Arn in the dressing room to keep him out of the in-ring melee…Speaking of what's happeningin the ring, the rest of the nWo comes down and attacks Funk, who I think maybe made a comeback?...Bret was down, but we didn’t see how…We were watching Arn and Dave in the back…Nash jumps Flair in the aisle…The other nWo members clobber David, then corral Daffney when she runs in…Meanwhile, Nash drags Funk to the top of the stage and powerbombs him through it…

 

• Are y’all telling me that Funk is going to be the new commissioner for fewer than two weeks?...There’s no way Nash loses at Souled Out, right?...WCW is very stupid, but in an annoying way, not a fun one…Crowbar was a bright spot and could be key to reviving the cruiserweight division along with Chavo, Kidman, and Three Count, but otherwise, this show was pretty dire…OWWWWW…

[zendragon]

I heard a clip of Mean Gene interviewing Jesse Ventura today

"Jesse that hair is something else"

"C'mon gene you like the hair!"

"I'd be happy with any hair!"

reminded me of all his great straight man comments in this thread

[SirSmUgly]

Show #222 – 10 January 2000

“The one that allows the babyfaces to stand tall for the first time in a long time”

• We’re coming to the final Souled Out show, the end of Bret Hart’s career as a regular competitor, and the end of the nWo as a going concern in WCW. This also might be the last Nitro for Malenko, Benoit, and Saturn (Eddy’s last Nitro appearance was probably a couple weeks ago). Oh, and we’re coming to the end of Vince Russo’s first stint in power – this is the last Nitro that he oversees until April. Suffice it to say that what’s going on behind the scenes with WCW is far more interesting than the nothing-happening feuds on the shows.

 

• Terry Funk gets out of a limo with Larry Z., Paul Orndorff, and Arn Anderson trailing behind him.

 

• Saturn and Asya walk down the ramp together, with Malenko and Douglas behind them; it looks like Saturn and Malenko will tag up against Konnan and Kidman (w/Rey Misterio Jr.). Douglas gets on commentary and crows about the Revolutions new mystery partner, and it’s Duggan, isn’t it? Davey Flair and Crowbar’s music plays two seconds into this match, and I guess it’s a triple-threat match for the tag titles. The champs run down here with Daffney in tow.

 

• We get a six-person brawl. Daffney screams a lot. She cackles when she’s not screaming. It’s still far more pleasant than the Fraudchise on commentary. Saturn and Malenko attack Misterio at ringside and beat him up in the aisle. Meanwhile, Crowbar lands an elbow on a kneeling Konnan. Oops, let’s get a shot of Saturn wandering the crowd for some reason and Malenko grabbing Rey. Douglas comes over to help, and they put Rey in a catering table so that Saturn can land a splash from up in the audience. This was a dumb table dive onto a table on concrete for a NOTHING of a Nitro match. No one will remember this wild spot tomorrow, which is too bad because it was spectacular. Davey Flair runs down the aisle and covers a winded Saturn for three to retain the tag titles. When you do a bunch of stuff all at once, none of it matters. Way to waste a high spot.

 

• There are no announced matches tonight because the Funker doesn’t do forward planning as commissioner. Tenay promises threatens segments with Stevie Ray talking about Harlem Heat’s future and a Buff Bagwell/DDP face-off. Also, if either man attacks the other during that last segment, the attacker will eat a huge fine.

 

• The nWo arrives. They got Scotty Steiner some ladies for his birthday. I think I see Major Gunns *sigh* in there. We cut to Funk and the vets, who have no ladies. They look grim.

 

• Rey Misterio Jr. takes an ambulance ride to really get over this freezing cold feud with the Revolution.

 

• Scotty Steiner decides to do the ladies two at a time in one of the least sexy segments on WCW television to date.

 

• Oklahoma (w/broom, bottle of barbecue sauce) gets in the ring, takes the mic, is not a fan of women in the workplace. He references Archie Bunker and Ralph Kramden because he's got cutting edge references in the year 2000. He issues an open challenge to any woman in the back. I could be watching Andy Kaufman do this whole gimmick, but way the hell better, instead. Asya hits the ring in response; actually, she enters the ring by sticking a standing backflip off the top rope. OK, that was a cool athletic feat. No one wants to see Ferrara wrestle, but at least he understands how to work on a basic level. He jumps Asya, who gets up and kicks her ass. Madusa comes down with her music playing in the middle of this match. She’s wearing a blue wig, and I think we missed Oklahoma bashing Asya with the bottle of sauce, and now he jumps Madusa as she gets in the ring and beats her with the broom. Oklahoma holds the cruiser belt up high – ugh – and makes off with it.

 

• Nash and Bret gather Scotty while he’s in the middle of sensual bliss because the nWo is headed to the ring to conduct some business. And by “business,” I mean “boring-ass talking.”

 

• Terry Funk and the vets come to the ring while Tony S. references Beyond the Mat to talk about how nutty the eternally-injured Funker is. Funker says that he’s been powerbombed through tons of stages, so Nash's stunt on Thunder isn't going to put him out of pro wrestling. Orndorff, Zybszko, and Arn are now under his employ, and he calls them the *sigh* Old Age Outlaws. Can you believe how much influence on professional wrestling Billy Gunn and Road Dogg have in the year 2000? Holy hell. Arn promises payback to the nWo as soon as possible. Larry Z. yammers for a bit before Orndorff points out the Power Plant attendees in the crowd and talks about tradition for a while. Buffalo is bored with all this stuff.

 

• Jarrett wears a Titans jersey to the ring, this time to troll the Buffalo crowd about the Music City Miracle. Bills fans are so used to losing that it barely fazes them. Nash makes a quip about the new Nitro start time allowing the vets in the ring to squeeze in an early bird special, then makes fun of Funk’s clothes being from Target. I don’t know, their Goodfellow t-shirts are cheap, soft, and last a long time. Funk responds by making a few matches. Jeff Jarrett is booked in a replica of his match for Souled Out: A straight up wrestling match, a Bunkhouse Brawl, and a cage match. Each of those matches will be against one of the OAO vets a different vet not already in the OAO. I remembered that this happened at some point. Jarrett promises to stretch Zbyszko’s ass like it’s never been stretched before, which sounds like something that Scotty Steiner would say to the ladies in the back, and somehow that wouldn’t get bleeped, but the word “bastard” would.

 

• So Funk promises Jarrett three secret old-timey vets as his opponents. OK, let’s see if I can remember or suss things out while these guys do some shitty banter back and forth. One is Steamboat, if I recall correctly. Steamboat/Jarrett sounds awesome. Who else might there be? If I were running a cage match and I were Vince Russo, I’d get Snuka to do a cage dive because I’d like to reference old WWF spots that no one in the modern WCW crowd remembers. OK, so I’ll guess Steamboat in the regular match, Dusty Rhodes in the Bunkhouse Brawl, and Snuka in the cage match. Let’s see if I’m right.

 

• Also, Funk makes Benoit the special ref for all three matches, and then books the Hitman against Kevin Nash for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship. Bret isn’t interested in this, but Funk threatens to suspend both he and Nash for a year without pay if he doesn’t try to win it. Nash and Bret say they’re rich, bitch, and they’re cool with losing a year’s pay. Nash marble-mouths a joke about almost having finished a correspondence course in gynecology, and I hate this. Then, Steiner yells LISTEN HERE, TERRY FUNK, YOU OLD SON OF A BITCH and then gets bleeped for the next thirty seconds. Funk promises to wash Scotty’s mouth out with soap. That was SO LONG and completely uncompelling.

 

• The vets send Arn Anderson out to handle some business while Buff Bagwell and DDP enter the arena so they can do some more bad talking. We cut back to Arn, who opens the door of a limo and…is confused because he got the wrong limo. Then, there’s another commercial break. After the break, we find out that the person in the limo was Kimberly. We go to the ring, according to Tony S., but actually we go to a video package about Buff/DDP. This Nitro SUCKS, y’know? It really sucks.

 

• Okerlund is in the ring to conduct this showdown. Someone in his earpiece lets him know that DDP is going to enter first, but not until after Okerlund yells HE IS THE STUFF. Cue pause, then an awkward HE IS DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE from Gene. Buff gets out here next; Page is like STEP OFF, GEORGE OKERLUND. There is a countdown timer on this segment. They can’t attack each other for the full five minute segment, or they get fined, remember? So, Page and Buff just try to annoy one another by talking about banging Page’s wife and having teeny peeny weenies and stuff. Buff saying, “We’re just friends; I’m a great listener” about Kim is hilarious, though.

 

• Then again, this exchange happens: Buff: DON’T GO THERE; Page: I’M ALREADY THERE. So yeah, this mostly is hot-buttered farts in a box. We cut to Kimberly watching on a monitor backstage. This Springer-ass nonsense goes on for what feels fifty years longer than five mere minutes. Buff swears that he didn’t bang Kim, but Page heard THE BOYS telling him about Buff speaking on Kim’s special covered-up birthmark. Buff rightly points out that everyone saw it, I assumein Kim’s nude pictorial, but Page takes Buff as implying that the whole locker room banged Kim and punches him. I think the timer ran out, though. Kim pops up on the big screen, which holds DDP in thrall for long enough that Buff takes a police baton out from somewhere and yams Page with it while yelling I DIDN’T DO IT. Vile stuff.

 

• The Hitman and Nash bicker about who can beat whom after Jarrett leaves it to them to figure it out because he’s got three matches to prep for.

 

• Arn’s waiting on the car that is bringing in Jarrett’s opponents, and they pull up just in time for the next segment.

 

• Chris Benoit is not long for this company; he’s come back from Japan just in time to ref a few matches on Nitro, win the world title on Souled Out, and head off to New York. Jarrett is out next with a bin full of crap. The Old Age Outlaws hit the ramp to introduce…George “The Animal” Steele? For a Bunkhouse Brawl? OK, whatever, WCW. I guess I can squint and say that this works for a Buffalo crowd, but this is WCW, man. Get me a WCW old-timer. Russo and Ferrara can’t even do “beloved vet as a surprise wrestler” correctly.

 

• Jarrett proceeds to struggle to beat George Steele in a hardcore match. Steele eats a turnbuckle as Jarrett begs off and tries to leave, but the OAO bars Jarrett’s path. Jarrett comes back in and KABONGs Steele when Steele turns around after finishing his meal of turnbuckle fluff, but Arn plants Jarrett with a spinebuster and puts Steele on top of him; Benoit counts to three at a rate quicker than it takes three actual seconds to pass. On the one hand, the babyfaces sticking it to the nWo is way overdue. On the other hand, I don’t know if this was the way to do it.

 

• Scotty Steiner gets some champagne and two more ladies for continued sexin’.

 

• Jarrett exhorts Nash to throw Bret out of the nWo, but then follows up by saying that they can’t let the commish drive a wedge between them. Well, wouldn’t tossing Bret out do what the commish wants, Jarrett, you slowpoke?

 

• Okerlund is back in the ring to interview Stevie Ray. Stevie Ray Insults the World: “No-charisma Tony Schiavone,” “one-horse wonder Bobby Heenan” (?!). He kicks Okerlund out of the ring for being overpaid and bad at his job. Stevie is basically like Even though no one in this company (other than Sid) wanted us here, we fought to the top until Booker got the TV title and sold out, and I hate him, he’s so good and I’m so bad and I hate him and I hate myself. That’s the gist of this thing. Booker and Midnight hit the ring. Book is disappointed and finally washes his hands of Stevie for good. Book refuses to wrestle his brother, so Stevie slaps him. Booker acquiesces and will meet his jealous older brother at Souled Out.

 

• Jarrett argues with Bret about the world title match nonsense; Arn meets the second veteran brought in to be Jarrett’s opponent in the parking lot.

 

• Terry Funk introduces former WWF Intercontinental and Tag Team Champion Tito Santana for the second match of Jarrett's night! I wish Tito had spent more of his career in WCW from purely aesthetic preferences. Funk yells like an asshole on commentary while Jarrett makes his way to the ring, still wearing a Frank Wycheck Titans jersey. He shoves a Bills player in the front row, then celebrates. Orndorff comes over to break it up and gets shoved by Jarrett, too. This is a Dungeon Match, not a regular wrestling match, so it ends by pinfall, submission, or going to the floor. Hey, doesn’t a Malenko/Kidman match of this type end prematurely because of that last rule, or was it someone else? That match isn’t made for Souled Out, but maybe it happens on Thunder or something? Malenko's not long for this company, so it has to happen in the next couple of shows. 

 

• Anyway, poor Tito has lost all his athleticism and tries to do spots that he can’t do anymore. It’s a real bummer. He takes about fifteen years to get himself over the top rope. The Bills player gets on the apron and shoves Jarrett into Orndorff, who hits a piledriver. Tito covers for three. The crowd in Buffalo did enjoy that segment, I’ll say that much.

 

• Oh no: Tank Abbott is going to talk in the ring. Man, this guy fucking SUCKS at pro wrestling. His insults suck. He sucks. He’s killing the vibes. He insults Doug Dellinger – “duck boy” – and did he take promo class with DDP? He offers Dellinger a free punch. I don’t give a shit about either of these bums. Fuck off, WCW. Dellinger comes down and throws a weak punch; Abbott takes Dellinger down. Security cuffs Abbott, and Flynn runs down and kicks him, then yells WHAT DO YOU THINK NOW, YEAH?! YEAH?! Abbott is in two feuds at the same time that are both abominable.

 

• Well, I got one right: Jimmy Snuka is the third Jarrett opponent for the cage match.

 

• Someone jumped referee Benoit in the back.

 

• Jeff Jarrett meets Jimmy Snuka in the cage. Jarrett grabs a mic and talks about how he and the Titans are the chosen ones, unlike the losers in Buffalo. He says that he’s already taken care of the ref, and now he’s ready to take care of Snuka. I guess it’s good that Benoit and Snuka aren’t in the same place at the same time, or we might have to get extra protection for the women in the building even with the cage surrounding the ring. Oh, wait, here comes Benoit, so never mind. LADIES, STAY BACK, THEY’RE DANGEROUS. Jarrett tries to keep Benoit from stepping into the cage while also grounding Snuka, but he can’t turn his attention in multiple directions forever, and Benoit eventually gets in the cage and kicks his ass. He goes up for a diving headbutt, but Jarrett cuts him off and leaves the cage through the door to get his guitar.

 

• Larry Z. and Orndorff troop down and beat the hell out of Jarrett before he can use it. Bret and Nash are too focused on their upcoming title bout and Steiner is too focused on getting laid to help Jarrett, who gets laid out and Superfly Splashed/diving headbutted from opposite corners of the cage before Snuka covers and Benoit counts the three. Buffalo enjoyed the hell out of that, and it’s partially down to Jarrett garnering heel heat in any way he could. How come Jarrett sucked so bad as lead heel in TNA? He obviously knows how to be an effective upper-card heel.

 

• Is this Bret Hart’s last wrestling match as a full-time competitor (and at all for like a decade)? I don’t know if he wrestles on Thunder, so this match against Nash might be it. Steiner is tied up in the back, so I don’t know if the ladies spiked his champagne or he just got too much snu-snu and passed out or what, but the OAO has captured him. Funk washes his mouth out with a bar of soap as promised. Alright, back to this match. It actually gets eleven minutes, which is a surprise. Bret’s done some good work with Nash in the past, and this is as okay it can be in 2000 WCW with a post-concussion-syndrome afflicted Hitman in it.

 

• They trade blows to start; the Hitman gets a rope burn in there, but Nash clubs him down. Basically, it’s a slow brawl until Bret begs off as a feint and kicks Nash’s knee, then works it over for a couple of minutes. I am so bummed that we’re coming to the end of the road with the Hitman. WCW never did use him in a way that made sense. He spent most of his time in this company as a heel even though he suffered the screwjob and the neglectful death of his brother and the fans’ sympathies were often with him. Three heel turns, none of them which made any sense. We never got the Hogan match, either. What a waste. This WCW run was calamitous. What strikes me the most is that the Hitman never got a single WCW match on my Favorites list. The Benoit match in Kansas City is far and away the best thing he’s done as a WCW employee, and he managed to have a terrible feud with Sting in 1998. At least he got paid for way fewer dates, I guess.

 

• Anyway, Nash scores a couple of two counts, so Bret swings a leg into Nash’s balls as it looks like the nWo is finally, finally cooked. Long live the nWo, but thank goodness it’s about dead. Bret whiffs on a second-rope elbow – Nash has seen that one before – and Nash rolls over and gets two. He throws some soupbones at Bret and gets two more. Bret goes back to attacking Nash’s knee in desperation, but gets caught on a rope run and side slammed. Nash has had about enough of all this and leaves the ring to gather a chair. Arn Anderson, wearing a ref’s shirt, runs down and lays a steel pipe into Nash’s kidneys before Nash can get back in the ring. Arn tells Charles Robinson that he’s being relieved as ref for this match. Bret grabs the chair and focuses on him and doesn’t see Sid run down; Sid throws a big boot that knocks the chair back into the Hitman’s dome, then chokeslams and powerbombs him (yuuuuuuuck) as the cage comes down over the ring. Sid covers and Arn counts three, so, uh, I guess the Bret/Nash match is a no contest.

 

• After the match, Terry Funk walks down holding a flaming branding iron and brands Nash’s midsection. Nice to see the babyfaces get one over on the heels for once!

 

• This Nitro was ass, though. The babyfaces finally scoring some victories isn’t enough to do much for me in the midst of all these garbage angles. -8 out of 5 Stinger Splashes.

[SirSmUgly]

We blew right through the end of 1999 and into 2000 without me posting my updated lists! You'll see the added 1999 entrileswith the shows and dates listed next to them in parentheses as well as the stuff from 1995 - 1998 that was already on the list.

First up: SmUgs’s Standouts – My Favorite Matches

Snap observations: April of 1999 was a heck of a month for WCW from a match quality standpoint! I'm also staggered that Sid got on this list as many times as Bret Hart and Randy Savage combined - wild, since the Hitman and Macho Man are my two favorite wrestlers. I'm not sure what that says about me, Sid, Bret, or Savage. DDP, Raven, Saturn, and Chris Benoit sort of dominate this list, and I would never have guessed that I'd feel that way about these guys to varying degrees before this watch-through.

Spoiler

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Fit Finlay (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Sting, Lex Luger, and Randy Savage vs. The Outsiders (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

·         Lex Luger vs. The Giant (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Syxx (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Syxx (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         Chris Benoit and Woman vs. Kevin Sullivan and Jacquelyn (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         The Outsiders vs. Ric Flair and Roddy Piper [plus the aftermath] (Nitro, 6/9/97)

·         Akira Hokuto vs. Madusa (Great American Bash, 6/15/97)

·         Lex Luger vs. Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 8/4/97)

·         Alex Wright vs. Ultimo Dragon (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Halloween Havoc, 10/26/97)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Saturn (Nitro, 12/8/97)

·         Raven vs. Chris Benoit (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Stevie Ray and Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 8/3/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 3/15/99)

·         Raven and Saturn vs. Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko (Spring Stampede, 4/11/99)

·         Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner (Spring Stampede, 4/11/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis vs. Blitzkrieg (Nitro, 4/19/99)

·         Goldberg vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 4/19/99)

·         Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 4/26/99)

·         Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg [including pre-match backstage attack and interviews] (Halloween Havoc, 10/24/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Starrcade, 12/19/99)

 

Edited September 10 by SirSmUgly

[SirSmUgly]

Next up: Very Good (and Sometimes Pretty Great) TV and PPV Matches that Make Entertaining Candidates for a Nitro-era Playlist on YouTube 

Snap observations: For all Kevin Nash's faults as booker, his tenure still produced a steady stream of fun, interesting, and enjoyable matchups. Just by dint of WCW having lots of strong talent under contract and Nash ignoring Thunder, the spigot of watchable matches on the major WCW shows stayed on until Russo and Ferrara showed up. I can live with shorter matches, but not with constant overbooking that makes every match on the card like WCW's main events have traditionally been (where nothing matters until the inevitable run-ins). Also, Rey Misterio Jr. could make a case for being one of the all-time greats just on the strength of his consistent good-to-great matches on WCW television. 

Spoiler

·         Sabu vs. Mr. J.L. (Nitro, 10/9/95)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 10/16/95)

·         Meng vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (Nitro, 10/16/95)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Johnny B. Badd (Nitro, 11/13/95)

·         Sting vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 11/13/95)

·         Cutie Suzuki and Mayumi Ozaki vs. Bull Nakano and Akira Hokuto (Nitro, 11/27/95)

·         The Giant vs. Scott Norton (Nitro, 12/4/95)

·         Arn Anderson vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 1/1/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Lord Steven Regal (Nitro, 1/1/96)

·         Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 1/8/96)

·         Devon Storm vs. Konnan (Nitro, 2/12/96)

·         Steiner Brothers vs. Road Warriors (Nitro, 3/11/96)

·         Steiner Brothers vs. The Public Enemy (Nitro, 3/18/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. The Giant (Nitro, 3/25/96)

·         The Giant and Ric Flair vs. Sting and Lex Luger (Nitro, 4/8/96)

·         The Giant and Ric Flair vs. Sting and Lex Luger (Nitro, 4/22/96)

·         Sting and Lex Luger vs. Harlem Heat (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Fire & Ice vs. Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. The Giant (Nitro, 4/29/96)

·         Sting vs. The Giant (Slamboree, 5/19/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 5/20/96)

·         Sting and Lex Luger vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 5/20/96)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Alex Wright (Nitro, 5/27/96)

·         High Voltage vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 6/3/96)

·         Scott Steiner vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 6/10/96)

·         Scott Norton vs. The Giant (Nitro, 6/10/96)

·         Sting and Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair and Arn Anderson (Nitro, 6/10/96)

·         Sting vs. Lord Steven Regal (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

·         Ric Flair and Arn Anderson vs. Kevin Greene and Mongo McMichael (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

·         Lex Luger vs. The Giant (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

·         Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit vs. The American Males (Nitro, 6/17/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 6/17/96)

·         Alex Wright vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 6/24/96)

·         The Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat (Nitro, 7/1/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Disco Inferno (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Big Bubba and Hugh Morrus vs. The Blue Bloods (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Psicosis vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman (Nitro, 7/8/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 7/15/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 7/15/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 7/22/96)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 7/22/96)

·         Alex Wright vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 8/5/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. The Booty Man (Nitro, 8/5/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Chris Benoit (Hog Wild, 8/11/96)

·         Steiner Brothers vs. Harlem Heat (Hog Wild, 8/11/96)

·         Lex Luger and Sting vs. The Outsiders (Hog Wild, 8/11/96)

·         Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 8/12/96)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 8/19/96)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Fall Brawl, 9/15/96)

·         Konnan vs. Juventud Guerrera (Fall Brawl, 9/15/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 9/16/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Brad Armstrong (Nitro, 10/14/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Jimmy Graffiti (Nitro, 10/21/96)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. The Fantastics (Nitro, 10/21/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddy Guerrero (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. The Giant (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Syxx vs. Chris Jericho (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         The Outsiders vs. Harlem Heat (Halloween Havoc, 10/27/96)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mike Enos (Nitro, 10/28/96)

·         The Amazing French Canadiens vs. High Voltage (Nitro, 10/28/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Jimmy Graffiti (Nitro, 10/28/96)

·         Marcus Bagwell vs. Brad Armstrong (Nitro, 11/4/96)

·         Lex Luger vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 11/4/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 11/11/96)

·         La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 11/18/96)

·         American Males vs. Amazing French Canadiens (Nitro, 11/18/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (World War 3, 11/24/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. The Giant (World War 3, 11/24/96)

·         Harlem Heat vs. Amazing French Canadiens (World War 3, 11/24/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 11/25/96)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 12/2/96)

·         Dean Malenko vs. Jimmy Graffiti (Nitro, 12/9/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 12/9/96)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 12/16/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 12/23/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Mr. J.L. (Nitro, 12/23/96)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Jushin Thunder Liger (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         The Outsiders vs. The Faces of Fear (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Hulk Hogan vs. Roddy Piper (Starrcade, 12/29/96)

·         Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 12/30/96)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 1/13/97)

·         The Outsiders vs. The Steiner Brothers (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

·         Hulk Hogan vs. The Giant (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         The Giant vs. Roadblock (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         The Amazing French Canadiens vs. Mongo McMichael and Arn Anderson (Nitro, 1/27/97)

·         Ice Train vs. La Parka (Nitro, 2/3/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 2/3/97)

·         Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael vs. Jeff Jarrett and Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 2/10/97)

·         Super Calo vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 2/17/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Mongo McMichael (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         The Giant vs. The Outsiders (SuperBrawl VII, 2/23/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero and Chris Jericho vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 2/24/97)

·         Mongo McMichael and Jeff Jarrett vs. High Voltage (Nitro, 3/10/97)

·         Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 3/17/97)

·         La Parka vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 3/24/97)

·         Harlem Heat vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 3/24/97)

·         Lex Luger and the Giant vs. Rick Fuller and Roadblock (Nitro, 3/31/97)

·         Meiko Satomura vs. Toshie Uematsu (Nitro, 3/31/97)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Chris Jericho [and the aftermath] (Nitro, 3/31/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (Spring Stampede, 4/6/97)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 4/7/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. The Barbarian (Nitro, 4/14/97)

·         Meng vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 4/21/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Scotty Riggs (Nitro, 4/21/97)

·         Syxx vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 4/21/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. The Barbarian (Nitro, 4/28/97)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 5/12/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 5/12/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Meng (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

·         Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Syxx vs. Ric Flair, Roddy Piper, and Kevin Greene (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

·         The Steiner Brothers vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael (Nitro, 5/19/97)

·         Juventud Guerrera, Super Calo, and Hector Garza vs. Ciclope, La Parka, and Damien 666 (Nitro, 5/26/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. The Barbarian (Nitro, 6/2/97)

·         Scott Hall vs. Ric Flair (Nitro, 6/2/97)

·         Hulk Hogan vs. Lex Luger [and aftermath] (Nitro, 6/9/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 6/9/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Meng (Great American Bash, 6/15/97)

·         Super Calo vs. La Parka (Nitro, 6/16/97)

·         Syxx vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 6/16/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael vs. Vicious and Delicious (Nitro, 6/16/97)

·         Hector Garza vs. Villano IV (Nitro, 6/23/97)

·         High Voltage vs. Wrath and Mortis (Nitro, 6/30/97)

·         Glacier and Ernest Miller vs. Wrath and Mortis (Bash at the Beach, 7/13/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 7/14/97)

·         Wrath and Mortis vs. Psicosis and La Parka (Nitro, 7/22/97)

·         The Outsiders vs. Chris Benoit and Ric Flair (Nitro, 7/22/97)

·         Wrath vs. Meng (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Mongo McMichael and Chris Benoit vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Mortis (Nitro, 8/11/97)

·         Mongo McMichael and Chris Benoit vs. Eddy Guerrero and Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 8/18/97)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Eddy Guerrero (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 8/25/97)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. Mortis and Wrath (Nitro, 8/25/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett and Eddy Guerrero vs. Mongo McMichael and Chris Benoit (Nitro, 9/1/97)

·         La Parka vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 9/1/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 9/8/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Jericho (Fall Brawl, 9/14/97)

·         Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 9/15/97)

·         The Faces of Fear vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 9/22/97)

·         Buff Bagwell vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 9/29/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 9/29/97)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 10/6/97)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Diamond Dallas Page [and the aftermath] (Nitro, 10/6/97)

·         Curt Hennig vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 10/6/97)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Alex Wright (Nitro, 10/13/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 10/20/97)

·         Fit Finlay vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 10/27/97)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 10/27/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero and Dean Malenko vs. Rey Misterio Jr. and Lord Steven Regal (Nitro, 11/3/97)

·         Saturn vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 11/3/97)

·         Curt Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 11/10/97)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 11/17/97)

·         Saturn vs. Disco Inferno (World War 3, 11/23/97)

·         The Blue Bloods vs. The Steiner Brothers (World War 3, 11/23/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Eddy Guerrero (World War 3, 11/23/97)

·         Meng vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 11/24/97)

·         Brad Armstrong vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 11/24/97)

·         Buff Bagwell vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 11/24/97)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 12/1/97)

·         Harlem Heat vs. The Faces of Fear (Nitro, 12/1/97)

·         La Parka and Psicosis vs. Rey Misterio Jr. and Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 12/8/97)

·         Mongo McMichael vs. Meng (Nitro, 12/22/97)

·         Van Hammer vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 12/22/97)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Dean Malenko (Starrcade, 12/28/97)

·         Psicosis vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 1/5/98)

·         Saturn vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 1/12/98)

·         The Outsiders vs. The Steiner Brothers (Nitro, 1/12/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Rick Martel (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

·         Kevin Nash vs. The Giant (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

·         Raven vs. Mortis (Nitro, 1/26/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Wrath (Nitro, 1/26/98)

·         Lord Steven Regal vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 2/2/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Raven (Nitro, 2/2/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 2/5/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero and Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Dean Malenko (Nitro, 2/9/98)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Saturn (Nitro, 2/9/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Mortis (Thunder, 2/12/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Thunder, 2/12/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Glacier (Thunder, 2/12/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 2/16/98)

·         Meng vs. Barbarian (Nitro, 2/16/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 2/19/98)

·         Raven and Saturn vs. Chris Benoit and Diamond Dallas Page (Thunder, 2/19/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Saturn (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         La Parka vs. Disco Inferno (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Brad Armstrong (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

·         Ultimo Dragon vs. Kaz Hayashi (Nitro, 2/23/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Lenny Lane (Nitro, 2/23/98)

·         Raven vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 3/2/98)

·         Prince Iaukea vs. Eddy Guerrero (Thunder, 3/5/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 3/9/98)

·         Saturn vs. Disco Inferno (Thunder, 3/12/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 3/16/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Psicosis (Thunder, 3/19/98)

·         Sting vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 3/23/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Kaz Hayashi (Nitro, 3/23/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 3/23/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno (Thunder, 3/26/98)

·         Saturn vs. Fit Finlay (Nitro, 3/30/98)

·         Glacier vs. Prince Iaukea (Nitro, 3/30/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 4/6/98)

·         Rocco Rock vs. Goldberg (Nitro, 4/13/98)

·         Silver King vs. Saturn (Thunder, 4/16/98)

·         Randy Savage and Kevin Nash vs. Bret Hart and Sting (Thunder, 4/16/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Ultimo Dragon (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Booker T. (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner vs. Lex Luger and Rick Steiner (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Raven (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Buff Bagwell and Scott Steiner vs. The Public Enemy (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 4/20/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Disco Inferno (Thunder, 4/23/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 4/27/98)

·         Saturn vs. Van Hammer and the Raven/DDP/bullrope aftermath (Nitro, 5/4/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 5/11/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Ultimo Dragon (Slamboree, 5/17/98)

·         Saturn vs. Goldberg (Slamboree, 5/17/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 5/25/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 5/28/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 6/4/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (Great American Bash, 6/14/98)

·         Saturn vs. Kanyon (Great American Bash, 6/14/98)

·         Sting vs. The Giant (Great American Bash, 6/14/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 6/18/98)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart (Nitro, 6/22/98)

·         Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael vs. The Boogie Knights (Thunder, 6/25/98)

·         Horace Hogan vs. Kanyon (Nitro, 6/29/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Little Dragon and the aftermath with Chavo Guerrero Jr. and Pepe (Nitro, 6/29/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Saturn (Thunder, 7/2/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Finlay (Thunder, 7/2/98)

·         Booker T. vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Kanyon vs. Raven (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 7/6/98)

·         Raven and Horace Hogan vs. Saturn and Kanyon (Thunder, 7/9/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Ultimo Dragon (Thunder, 7/9/98)

·         Saturn vs. Raven (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Juventud Guerrera (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         The Giant vs. Kevin Greene (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

·         Kevin Nash and Sting vs. Scott Hall and the Giant (Nitro, 7/20/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 7/27/98)

·         Barbarian vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 8/3/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 8/3/98)

·         Barbarian vs. Meng (Road Wild, 8/8/98)

·         Saturn vs. Raven vs. Kanyon (Road Wild, 8/8/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Chris Jericho (Thunder, 8/13/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Psicosis (Thunder, 8/20/98)

·         Curt Hennig vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 8/24/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 8/31/98)

·         Raven vs. Meng à Saturn vs. Meng à Saturn vs. Kanyon (Thunder, 9/3/98)

·         Saturn vs. Raven (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

·         The Giant vs. Meng (Nitro, 9/14/98)

·         Sting vs. Goldberg (Nitro, 9/14/98)

·         Mike Enos vs. Lenny Lane (Thunder, 9/17/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Thunder, 9/24/98)

·         La Parka vs. Super Calo (Nitro, 9/28/98)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Billy Kidman (Thunder, 10/1/98)

·         Goldberg vs. Raven (Thunder, 10/1/98)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Kanyon [plus the aftermath] (Nitro, 10/5/98)

·         Kanyon vs. Prince Iaukea (Thunder, 10/8/98)

·         Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Thunder, 10/8/98)

·         Alex Wright vs. Finlay (Nitro, 10/12/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Diamond Dallas Page [plus the aftermath] (Nitro, 10/19/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Super Calo (Thunder, 10/22/98)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Raven (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

·         Wrath vs. Meng (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Juventud Guerrera (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

·         Saturn vs. Eddy Guerrero [plus the aftermath] (Nitro, 11/2/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 11/2/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 11/12/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 11/16/98)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman (World War 3, 11/22/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 11/23/98)

·         Goldberg vs. the Giant (Nitro, 11/23/98)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 11/30/98)

·         Mike Enos vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Thunder, 12/3/98)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Villano V (Thunder, 12/3/98)

·         Silver King vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 12/7/98)

·         Norman Smiley vs. Kaz Hayashi (Thunder, 12/10/98)

·         Finlay vs. Mike Enos (Thunder, 12/17/98)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 12/21/98)

·         The Giant vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Starrcade, 12/27/98)

·         Norman Smiley vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Souled Out, 1/17/99)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 1/18/99)

·         Scott Steiner vs. Saturn (Nitro, 1/18/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. La Parka (Thunder, 1/21/99)

·         Scott Hall vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (Nitro, 1/25/99)

·         Norman Smiley vs. Saturn (Nitro, 1/25/99)

·         The Outsiders vs. Rey Misterio Jr. and Konnan (Thunder, 1/28/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Blitzkrieg (Nitro, 2/8/99)

·         Lash LeRoux vs. Super Calo (Thunder, 2/11/99)

·         Dave Taylor and Fit Finlay vs. Billy Kidman and Chavo Guerrero Jr. (Thunder, 2/11/99)

·         Booker T. vs. Disco Inferno (SuperBrawl IX, 2/21/99)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Saturn (SuperBrawl IX, 2/21/99)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Billy Kidman (SuperBrawl IX, 2/21/99)

·         The Outsiders vs. Rey Misterio Jr. and Konnan (SuperBrawl IX, 2/21/99)

·         Goldberg and Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell (Nitro, 3/1/99)

·         Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Billy Kidman (Thunder, 3/4/99)

·         Scott Steiner vs. Booker T. (Nitro, 3/8/99)

·         Bret Hart vs. Van Hammer (Nitro, 3/8/99)

·         Scott Steiner vs. Booker T. (Uncensored, 3/14/99)

·         Jerry Flynn vs. Meng (Nitro, 3/15/99)

·         Chris Jericho vs. Scott Steiner (Nitro, 3/22/99)

·         Ric Flair vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 3/22/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. and Billy Kidman vs. Saturn and Raven (Nitro, 4/5/99)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho (Nitro, 4/5/99)

·         Mikey Whipwreck vs. Hardcore Hak (Thunder, 4/7/99)

·         Blitzkrieg vs. Super Calo (Thunder, 4/7/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Raven (Thunder, 4/7/99)

·         Booker T. vs. Chris Jericho (Thunder, 4/7/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 4/12/99)

·         Billy Kidman vs. Psicosis (Nitro, 4/12/99)

·         Chris Benoit, Dean Malenko, and Billy Kidman vs. Raven, Saturn, and Rey Misterio Jr. (Thunder, 4/22/99)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Bam Bam Bigelow (Thunder, 4/29/99)

·         Raven and Saturn vs. Mike Enos and Scotty Riggs (Thunder, 5/6/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Kanyon (Thunder, 5/6/99)

·         Raven and Saturn vs. Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko (Nitro, 5/17/99)

·         Juventud Guerrera vs. Billy Kidman (Thunder, 5/20/99)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 5/27/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Ric Flair (Thunder, 6/3/99)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Psicosis (Thunder, 6/24/99)

·         Diamond Dallas Page vs. Saturn (Thunder, 7/1/99)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. La Parka (Thunder, 7/1/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Blitzkrieg (Thunder, 7/1/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Kanyon (Thunder, 7/8/99)

·         Kaz Hayashi vs. Van Hammer (Thunder, 7/22/99)

·         Mona vs. Brandi Alexander (Thunder, 7/22/99)

·         Vampiro vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 7/26/99)

·         Harlem Heat vs. Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow (Nitro, 8/2/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 8/2/99)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman [plus the aftermath] (Thunder, 8/4/99)

·         Disco Inferno vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 8/9/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 8/16/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr., Billy Kidman, and Eddy Guerrero vs. Barry Windham, Kendall Windham, and Bobby Duncum Jr. (Thunder, 8/26/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. and Eddy Guerrero vs. Blitzkrieg and La Parka (Nitro, 8/30/99)

·         Kaz Hayashi vs. El Dandy [completely ignore the aftermath] (Thunder, 9/2/99)

·         Sid Vicious vs. Saturn (Thunder, 9/2/99)

·         Van Hammer vs. Blitzkrieg (Thunder, 9/9/99)

·         Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Psicosis and Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 9/20/99)

·         Goldberg vs. Brian Knobbs (Nitro, 9/20/99)

·         Eddy Guerrero vs. Saturn (Nitro, 9/20/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Dean Malenko (Nitro, 9/27/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart (Nitro, 10/4/99)

·         Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Saturn (Nitro, 10/11/99)

·         Bret Hart vs. Sting (Nitro, 10/18/99)

·         Kaz Hayashi and Blitzkrieg vs. Juventud Guerrera and Silver King (Thunder, 10/21/99)

·         Sid Vicious vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 10/28/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett (Mayhem, 11/21/99)

·         Bret Hart vs. Jeff Jarrett (Nitro, 11/22/99)

·         Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 12/2/99)

·         Disco Inferno and Lash LeRoux vs. The Mamalukes (Starrcade, 12/19/99)

·         Chris Benoit vs. Bret Hart (Thunder, 12/23/99)

·         Jeff Jarrett vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 12/27/99)

 

Edited September 10 by SirSmUgly

[SirSmUgly]

Next up: Charming Uniquities

Snap observations: Ernest Miller was coming into his own before he got injured, but before then, he lit up this list in 1999 with fun spots and goofy, enjoyable heel nonsense. I'd be remiss if I didn't mention Charles Robinson leading Gorgeous George to an entertaining match, then turning back around and having a fun tag match with Ric Flair against Randy Savage and Madusa on top of it. 

Spoiler

o   Sabu vs. Alex Wright (Nitro, 9/11/95)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Sabu (Nitro, 10/30/95)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Paul Orndorff (Nitro, 12/11/95)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Sgt. Craig Pittman (Nitro, 6/3/96)

o   The Blue Bloods vs. The Public Enemy (Nitro, 6/24/96)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Kurasawa (Nitro, 7/1/96)

o   Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

o   Eddy Guerrero vs. Big Bubba (Nitro, 7/29/96)

o   Harlem Heat vs. The Rock ‘n Roll Express (Nitro, 8/5/96)

o   Lord Steven Regal vs. Randy Savage (Nitro, 8/5/96)

o   The Giant vs. Chris Benoit (Clash of the Champions 33, 8/15/96)

o   Hulk Hogan vs. Ric Flair (Clash of the Champions 33, 8/15/96)

o   The Public Enemy vs. Juventud Guerrera and El Technico (Nitro, 9/30/96)

o   Lex Luger vs. Roadblock (Nitro, 10/21/96)

o   Super Calo vs. Konnan (Nitro, 1/13/97)

o   Konnan vs. Chris Benoit (Nitro, 2/3/97)

o   The Steiner Brothers vs. High Voltage (Nitro, 2/10/97)

o   Hugh Morrus and Konnan vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael + the post-match interview segment (Nitro, 3/3/97)

o   Kevin Sullivan (w/Jacquelyn) vs. Hardbody Harrison (Nitro, 3/10/97)

o   Harlem Heat vs. Jeff Jarrett and Mongo McMichael (Nitro, 4/7/97)

o   The Steiner Brothers vs. The Public Enemy [and eventually also Konnan and Hugh Morrus] (Nitro, 4/21/97)

o   Lord Steven Regal promo (Nitro, 5/12/97) and Lord Steven Regal vs. Ultimo Dragon (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

o   Mongo McMichael vs. Reggie White (Slamboree, 5/18/97)

o   Mongo McMichael and Jeff Jarrett vs. Harlem Heat [with excellent guest commentary from Kevin Greene] (Nitro, 5/19/97)

o   Akira Hokuto vs. Malia Hosaka [with post-match Madusa scrum] (Nitro, 6/9/97)

o   Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Syxx (Nitro, 6/23/97)

o   Kevin Nash vs. Rey Misterio Jr. (Nitro, 6/30/97)

o   Vicious and Delicious vs. Los Guerreros (Nitro, 7/7/97)

o   Jeff Jarrett vs. Ric Flair (Nitro, 7/14/97)

o   Alex Wright vs. Lord Steven Regal (Nitro, 9/15/97)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Jacquelyn (Halloween Havoc, 10/26/97)

o   Villanos IV and/or V vs. Diamond Dallas Page (Nitro, 11/17/97)

o   Scott Hall vs. Disco Inferno (Nitro, 12/1/97)

o   Chris Benoit vs. Billy Kidman (Nitro, 12/1/97)

o   Barbarian vs. John Nord (Nitro, 1/5/98)

o   Goldberg vs. Jerry Flynn (Nitro, 1/12/98)

o   The Giant vs. Lodi (Thunder, 1/15/98)

o   Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Juventud Guerrera (Thunder, 1/15/98)

o   Rick Martel vs. Eddy Guerrero (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Chris Benoit vs. Marty Jannetty (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Booker T. vs. Mortis (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Chris Jericho vs. Juventud Guerrera (Nitro, 1/19/98)

o   Scott Hall vs. Larry Zbyszko (Souled Out, 1/24/98)

o   Konnan vs. Jerry Flynn (Nitro, 1/26/98)

o   Mongo McMichael vs. Jim Neidhart (Thunder, 2/12/98)

o   The Public Enemy vs. The Outsiders (Nitro, 2/16/98)

o   Konnan vs. British Bulldog (Nitro, 3/9/98)

o   Konnan vs. Chris Benoit (Thunder, 4/9/98)

o   Konnan vs. Rick Steiner (Nitro, 4/13/98)

o   Chris Jericho vs. Prince Iaukea (Spring Stampede, 4/19/98)

o   Barbarian and Hugh Morrus vs. The Public Enemy (Nitro, 4/27/98)

o   Goldberg vs. La Parka (Nitro, 6/1/98)

o   Reese and Horace Hogan vs. Juventud Guerrera and Van Hammer (Nitro, 6/8/98)

o   Chris Jericho vs. Mini Misterio Jr. Impersonator (Thunder, 7/2/98)

o   Kanyon vs. Konnan (Thunder, 7/2/98)

o   Goldberg vs. Scott Hall (Nitro, 7/6/98)

o   Juventud Guerrera vs. Jerry Flynn (Nitro, 10/5/98)

o   Raven and Kanyon vs. Chris Benoit and Mongo McMichael (Thunder, 12/3/98)

o   Norman Smiley vs. Jerry Flynn (Thunder, 12/17/98)

o   Ernest Miller vs. Saturn (Starrcade, 12/27/98)

o   Chris Jericho vs. Lizmark Jr. [dog collar match] (Nitro, 2/8/99)

o   Meng vs. Scott Steiner (Nitro, 4/5/99)

o   Kevin Nash vs. Hardcore Hak (Thunder, 4/29/99)

o   Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko vs. Raven and Saturn vs. Billy Kidman and Rey Misterio Jr. (Slamboree, 5/9/99)

o   Charles “Lil’ Naitch” Robinson vs. Gorgeous George (Slamboree, 5/9/99)

o   Charles “Lil’ Naitch” Robinson and Ric Flair vs. Madusa and Randy Savage (Nitro, 5/17/99)

o   Randy Savage vs. Brian Adams (Thunder, 6/10/99)

o   Disco Inferno vs. Scotty Riggs (Thunder, 6/17/99)

o   Ernest Miller vs. Jerry Flynn (Nitro, 7/5/99)

o   Vampiro and the Insane Clown Posse vs. Lash LeRoux, Norman Smiley, and Prince Iaukea (Nitro, 8/9/99)

o   Ernest Miller vs. Mike Enos (Nitro, 8/16/99)

o   Ernest Miller vs. Prince Iaukea [including the Cat’s pre-match antics] (Thunder, 8/26/99)

o   Insane Clown Posse vs. West Hollywood Blondes (Nitro, 9/13/99)

o   Booker T. vs. Sid Vicious (Thunder, 9/23/99)

o   Bret Hart vs. “The Total Package” Lex Luger (Halloween Havoc, 10/24/99)

o   Jeff Jarrett and Mona vs. Evan Karagias and Madusa (Thunder, 12/2/99)

o   Norman Smiley vs. David Flair (Thunder, 12/16/99)

 

[SirSmUgly]

Next up: HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS CLASSIC Promos, Spots, and Skits

Snap observations: Only three additions in this dismal creative year; you can thank Disco Inferno and Sid Vicious for that. 

Spoiler

§  Lex Luger invades Nitro (Nitro, 9/4/95)

§  Madusa dumps the WWF Women’s Championship in the trash (Nitro, 12/18/95)

§  Scott Hall invades Nitro (Nitro, 5/27/96)

§  Eric Bischoff gets powerbombed through the stage (Great American Bash, 6/16/96)

§  Hulk Hogan goes Hollywood heel (Bash at the Beach, 7/7/96)

§  Backstage attack by the nWo, complete with the Lawn Dart Incident (Nitro, 7/29/96)

§  DDP fakes out Nash and Hall, doesn’t join the nWo, hits Hall with a Diamond Cutter and jets (Nitro, 1/13/97)

§  In a now-popular GIF, someone tosses a drink at Hall, hits him in the head, and he just uses the soda that splashed on him to smooth out his hair while the rest of the nWo talks and talks and talks (Nitro, 3/17/97)

§  Booker T. tells Hulk Hogan that he’s COMIN’ FOR YOU, [racial slur that has been repurposed by the people the slur refers to]; Sherri busts a gut laughing at the faux pas. (Spring Stampede, 4/6/97)

§  The Dinner and a Movie Guys go nWo, DDP hands out some justice in response (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

§  Vulture Sting drops a note that he was supposed to bring to the ring, still rules the world (Clash 35, 8/21/97)

§  Goldberg claims his first victim, beats Hugh Morrus, goes streaking (Nitro, 9/22/97)

§  Randy Savage plays the long game, infects Ric Flair with the Madness, Flair disbands the Horsemen after driving the group into the ground with his leadership (Nitro, 9/29/97)

§  After the Giant wrestles Curt Hennig to a DQ victory, Sting brings his brand of justice to the nWo (Nitro, 9/29/97)

§  Raven halfway blinds Scotty Riggs (Nitro, 10/27/97)

§  Rick Rude shows up on Nitro, is also on a (taped) RAW at roughly the same time (Nitro, 11/17/97)

§  Raven attacks DDP with a stop sign and scares the shit out of a couple of Foo Fighters (MTV Total Request Live at some point between 3/16/98 and 3/19/98; airs on Thunder, 3/19/98)

§  Chris Jericho lists out most of the 1,004 holds that he knows (Nitro, 3/30/98)

§  Chris Jericho introduces the luchadores for a Cruiserweight battle royal, has jokes, also has a moment of shock when Ciclope unmasks and it’s Dean Malenko (Slamboree, 5/17/98)

§  Chris Jericho switches between seething hatred for and annoying obsequiousness toward J.J. Dillon while trying to get Dillon to overturn Dean Malenko’s Cruiserweight victory over him, cuts a killer promo in the process (Nitro, 5/26/98)

§  Chris Jericho writes Ted Turner about the WCW Cruiserweight Championship issue; it doesn’t go well for him (Nitro, 6/8/98)

§  Chris Jericho tries his own Goldberg-style ring entrance for a TV title defense against Wrath, locks himself out of the building, is eventually chased off by Wrath (Thunder, 9/10/98)

§  Saturn tricks Kanyon into thinking that Kanyon has Lodi’s protection, destroys Kanyon’s fingers, beats the crap out of the Flock, and has a fantastic final promo exchange with Raven about the future of the Flock (Thunder, 9/10/98)

§  Arn Anderson re-introduces Ric Flair to WCW; Flair goes off about Bischoff’s ABUSE OF POWER and it rules (Nitro, 9/14/98)

§  Flair tries to salvage the Bischoff feud by beating down a traitorous Barry Windham and then cutting a fiery promo to hype their Starrcade match (Nitro, 12/21/98)

§  Disco Inferno wants a music video, cuts himself into Konnan’s instead, is hilarious, promotes Oil of Olay’s brand for free (Nitro, 3/15/99)

§  Sid loses a car to the wily planning of GOLDBERG, GOLDBERG, WHY ME, GOLDBERG (Nitro, 9/27/99)

§  Sid loses another car because he’s bad at being a wily planner unlike GOLDBERG, GOLDBERG, WHY ME, GOLDBERG (Nitro, 10/4/99)

 

[SirSmUgly]

Next up: Promos, Spots, and Skits that Aren’t Quite HOLY SHIT MOMENTS that Are Worth Watching/Adding to Your Playlist

Snap observations: Ric Flair and Stevie Ray might have had the funniest exchange of any that I've seen in this watch-through in 1999. We needed to get those two into more promos and segments with one another. 

Spoiler

 §  Sting and Luger agree to a Chicago Street Fight against the Road Warriors; Luger is from the Chicago suburbs and doesn’t quite know what a Chicago Street Fight is (Nitro, 2/26/96)

§  Sting chews Luger out, shames Luger into better behavior (Nitro, 2/26/96)

§  Lex Luger has a grueling defense of his TV Title against Loch Ness (Nitro, 3/18/96)

§  The Giant chokeslams Lex Luger through a banquet table (Nitro, 5/13/96)

§  Ric Flair follows up a victory over Eddy Guerrero with a great run on commentary (Nitro, 5/20/96)

§  Lord Steven Regal interview with Gene Okerlund [BONUS: Video of Regal backhanding Sting’s very soul into dust] (Nitro, 6/3/96)

§  Scott Hall and Sting confrontation (Nitro, 6/3/96)

§  Kevin Nash wants you to look at the adjective verb PLAY (Nitro, 6/10/96)

§  Big Bubba is a real dick to John Tenta (Nitro, 6/17/96)

§  Hollywood Hogan’s first heel promo on Nitro [and WCW’s response] (Nitro, 7/15/96)

§  The Outsiders invade the control truck (Nitro, 7/22/96)

§  The Horsemen fuck up the Booty Man’s world and Arn cuts an awesome promo (Nitro, 8/5/96)

§  Early nWo paid-for promo/Sting and Luger run up on Craig Leathers in the production truck for playing the promo (Nitro, 8/5/96)

§  Hollywood Hogan and the nWo cut a promo backstage [and Hogan is good at it for maybe the only time in his whole nWo run] (Nitro, 8/12/96)

§  Sting and Lex Luger ask the Horsemen to be added to their War Games team (Nitro, 8/19/96)

§  Sting quits WCW because they really don’t appreciate him enough (Nitro, 9/16/96)

§  Hall and Nash formally invite DDP into the nWo for the first time (Nitro, 11/11/96)

§  Hall, Nash, Syxx, a Cable Ace Award, and some nWo sign-holding nerds harass Larry Zbyszko and talk themselves up in general (Nitro, 11/11/96)

§  Hall and Nash destroy two tag teams, then have a wild brawl with the Faces of Fear (Nitro, 11/18/96)

§  Masahiro Chono backstabs Sonny Onoo, starts nWo Japan (Nitro, 12/16/96)

§  Crow Sting shows up to help WCW, WCW is too stupid to accept it, Sting rolls out (Nitro, 12/16/96)

§  The Horsemen squabble after Benoit vs. Jarrett (Nitro, 1/13/97)

§  Scott Steiner tells Kevin Nash that “at Souled Out, there ain’t gonna be no basketball” in a promo (Nitro, 1/13/97)

§  The first of the “face comes to the ring and beats up jobbers” spots with Randy Savage, plus a bonus Sting appearance (Nitro, 1/20/97)

§  DDP fakes out the nWo again; the crowd loves it (Souled Out, 1/25/97)

§  The Giant appreciates Lex Luger’s faith in him, promises to win the tag belts for them both (Nitro, 2/10/97)

§  Mongo and Jarrett argue over Jarrett’s suitability for Horsemanship and the result of their SuperBrawl VII match (Nitro, 2/24/97)

§  Ric Flair saves a bad Piper promo segment with a very good promo about replacing Piper’s Family with the Horsemen at Uncensored ’97 (Nitro, 3/10/97)

§  Arn Anderson squashes beef with Kevin Sullivan, low-key retires (Nitro, 3/17/97)

§  Lord Regal cuts a promo, isn’t having any of those “planchas and hunnacanranas” in his matches! (Nitro, 3/31/97)

§  Debra is very mean, claims that Rocco Rock shaved his head because he didn’t know that a special shampoo for head lice existed, generally cuts a hilarious post-match promo (Nitro, 3/31/97)

§  Lord Steven Regal discusses the state of Sarah Ferguson’s vagina, job opportunities in the American Midwest, and Ultimo Dragon (Nitro, 4/21/97)

§  DDP dresses up as La Parka, surprises Randy Savage with a Diamond Cutter (Nitro, 7/7/97)

§  Stevie Richards negotiates Raven’s contract, does a poor job, means well (Nitro, 7/22/97)

§  Konnan insults Rey Misterio Jr., threatens Gene Okerlund, is generally hilarious (Nitro, 8/25/97)

§  Chris Jericho loses to Mongo, wakes up, throws a tantrum, and spoils Rey Misterio Jr.’s night with a sneak attack (Nitro, 1/12/98)

§  Kevin Nash cuts a fun promo on the Giant (Thunder, 1/22/98)

§  Kidman and Saturn jump Rick Martel backstage and toss him through a glass door, Barber Shop-style (Thunder, 1/22/98)

§  Randy Savage masters the art of sarcasm in what is a pretty great promo on Hulk Hogan (Nitro, 1/26/98)

§  Hall hits the sickest of burns on Larry Z. in his pre-match promo (“exposed like a pervert in a raincoat at a peep show”) (Nitro, 1/26/98)

§  Chris Jericho sends Lenny Lane out in a Juventud Guerrera match to pull a bait-and-switch on Dean Malenko (Thunder, 3/12/98)

§  Gene Okerlund destroys Dean Malenko after Malenko’s loss to Jericho (Uncensored, 3/15/98)

§  1) Nash and 2) Hall show up to Spring Breakout sauced, confront the Giant, and 1) escapes the Giant by bellyflopping into the pool while 2) is wedgied and tossed by the Giant into the pool (Nitro, 3/16/98)

§  Raven and Buff Bagwell have a match that is interrupted by Diamond Dallas Page, and everything up to Page’s promo is great (Nitro, 3/30/98)

§  Eddy Guerrero makes Chavo apologize to grandma for getting her kicked out of the Potluck Club (Nitro, 4/6/98)

§  Chris Jericho weighs Prince Iaukea, ends up attacking him with the weigh-in scale (Thunder, 4/9/98)

§  Chavo Jr. does a little slap-slap-kiss with Uncle Eddy after losing to Dean Malenko, but not in the usual romantic comedy way (Thunder, 5/21/98)

§  Lex Luger joins the nWo Wolfpac, the state of Indiana EXPLODES with joy (Nitro, 5/26/98)

§  Raven confronts Saturn after Saturn defeats Reese; Raven’s promo is both mean and compelling, and his Evenflow is devastating (Nitro, 6/29/98)

§  Be vewy vewy qwiet, Chavo’s hunting Uncle Eddy (and failing at it)! (Thunder, 7/2/98)

§  Lee Marshall interviews Konnan at the CompuServe desk, magic happens (Bash at the Beach, 7/12/98)

§  Chris Jericho baits-and-switches a gullible Fall Brawl crowd, beats up mini-Goldberg, celebrates with a foam world title (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

§  Chris Jericho makes his entrance to rematch mini-Goldberg, ends up having to hightail it away from the real deal (Nitro, 9/28/98)

§  Raven cuts a riotous promo in which he accuses his mother of aspiring to outdo Judy Bagwell on WCW television (Nitro, 12/21/98)

§  Chris Jericho and Ralphus put on a fashion show (Thunder, 2/18/99)

§  Ric Flair and Arn Anderson have a conversation in which Ric subtly realizes that he needs to get back to the tactics that made him a force in the 1980s (Thunder, 3/4/99)

§  Ric Flair attempts to dap Stevie Ray, Stevie is bummed about it (Nitro, 5/3/99)

§  Randy Savage asks Rey Misterio Jr. to join Team Madness, Rey declines, all hell breaks loose (Thunder, 5/20/99)

§  Ernest Miller trolls the Sturgis crowd during his bout against Buff Bagwell (Road Wild, 8/14/99)

§  Scott Steiner returns, cuts nutty and entertaining promo about his quest to sleep with more women than Wilt Chamberlain and his plans to get back at Hulk Hogan for leaving the nWo (Nitro, 9/20/99)

§  Lex Luger is dead, but the Total Package lives! (Nitro, 9/27/99)

 

Edited September 10 by SirSmUgly

[SirSmUgly]

Next up: HOLY SHIT, THAT WAS DUMB (BUT ENTERTAINING) MOMENTS

Snap observations: The end of the Kevin Nash regime really had people not giving a fuck out here, especially Kevin Nash himself. Not that the beginning and middle of said regime also didn't have a lot of dumb shit going on. 

Spoiler

v  The Giant runs over Hulk Hogan’s motorcycle (Nitro, 9/18/95)

v  Old Woman Sullivan and the Giant beat Hulk Hogan up and shave a Hitler mustache into his face (Nitro, 10/2/95)

v  Sister Sherri/Colonel Rob Parker marriage ceremony (Clash of the Champions 32, 1/23/96)

v  Miss Elizabeth’s high heel starts a run of victories that even Goldberg would be jealous of (Nitro, 1/29/96)

v  Kevin Greene and Mongo McMichael talk wrestling strategy (Nitro, 6/3/96)

v  The Steiner Brothers commentate and also recite a few nursery rhymes as the BLUE BLOODS EXPLODE (Nitro, 8/26/96)

v  A Four Horsemen promo happens, and Chris Benoit tells Mongo McMichael to talk to the hand (Nitro, 12/23/96)

v  Renegade really dicks over his partner Joe Gomez on the hot tag (Nitro, 3/17/97)

v  The IT’S WCW/nWo UNCENSORED promo, complete with lots of dumb rhymes and Wrath mouthing the line RULES ARE FOR FOOLS (SuperBrawl VII, Nitro, and Thunder in February and March of 1998)

v  Florida Man jumps Raven while Raven sits in the corner of the ring and soliloquizes (Thunder, 4/9/98)

v  Randy Savage cuts a promo, appears to be confused about how “did” and “did not” are defined; also is unsure of which species of bird an “icon” is. (Thunder, 5/21/98)

v  Judy Bagwell confronts her fuck-up son, parents him in the only way a Southern woman in her fifties would know how at the time (through physical violence), scores a big pop (Nitro, 10/5/98)

v  Ernest Miller insults the crowd, insults Santa, is beaten up by Santa because it’s Saturn in the Santa suit (Nitro, 12/21/98)

v  Randy Savage and Sid try to get Gorgeous George back from Nash, are given multiple meeting points, generally freak out in a hilarious way (Thunder, 7/1/99)

v  Arliss – not Robert Wuhl, but Arliss – promotes a PPV match between Randy Savage and a purse-wielding Dennis Rodman while Mona and Madusa brawl in the ring. Must be seen to be believed (Nitro, 7/19/99)

v  Curly Bill proposes that he becomes the newest member of the West Texas Rednecks (Nitro, 9/6/99)

v  Stevie Ray mean mugs the camera at the end of a Harlem Heat promo, does it so long that he can’t hold his laughter in, creates classic GIF in the process (Nitro, 9/6/99)

v  Kevin Nash makes one of these overlong video package recaps worth it, does his best NFL Films commentator impression over a Sid/Goldberg package (Thunder, 10/14/99)

v  The Total Package tries desperately to get out of his match with Syko Sid Vicious (Thunder, 12/2/99)

v  Late-stage WCW blesses us with a Filthy Animals and Hacksaw Duggan vs. The Revolution mic battle that makes zero sense, is dumb and cringeworthy at times, and never fails to entertain (except maybe when Malenko is heeling) (Thunder, 12/23/99)

 

[SirSmUgly]

Next up: THE ABSOLUTE DIRT WORST

Snap observations: This year got started all wrong with two entries from the first Nitro of the year (featuring the Fingerpoke of Doom) and never got on track. 1999 was a more watchable year overall than people tend to claim it was for WCW, but don't get it twisted - there was a lot of bad stuff that was legendary in its badness. 

Spoiler

v  Roddy Piper accepts Hulk Hogan’s challenge for SuperBrawl VII (Nitro, 2/3/97)

v  Randy Anderson wants his job back, needs to feed his fam’ly (Nitro 2/10/97)

v  Roddy Piper and Hulk Hogan nonsensically insult one another (Nitro, 2/10/97)

v  Benoit ignores the cues to shut the fuck up, keeps cutting a terrible promo instead (Nitro, 2/17/97)

v  Roddy Piper in Alcatraz (Nitro, 2/17/97)

v  Roddy Piper tries out wrestlers to be members of his Family, some of the worst television of all time ensues (Nitro, 3/3/97)

v  Hogan responds to Piper; it’s bad (Nitro, 3/3/97)

v  Roddy Piper is heated about everyone hating the Piper’s Family Tryout segment, cuts an awful promo about it (Nitro, 3/10/97)

v  Randy Savage taunts DDP and Kimberly into shame and rage by pointing out a centerfold that Kimberly was super-excited and proud to do (Uncensored, 3/16/97)

v  Ric Flair, two ladies, and a dummy dressed like Roddy Piper (Nitro, 6/30/97)

v  The nWo dresses up like the Four Horsemen and put on a sub-Family Guy level skit (Nitro, 9/1/97)

v  Right after that sketch, everyone tries to get Chavo’s title shot; it’s incredibly stupid (Nitro, 9/1/97)

v  The Sting dummy falls from the rafters: Act I (Nitro, 9/8/97)

v  The Sting dummy falls from the rafters: Act II (Nitro, 11/24/97)

v  The unfortunate pilot episode of nWo Nitro (Nitro, 12/22/97)

v  Bret Hart’s Starrcade debut comes as part of a diabolically awful Larry Zbyszko vs. Eric Bischoff match (Starrcade, 12/28/97)

v  Hogan vs. Sting, the “fast” count, and the Montreal Screwjob callback (Starrcade, 12/28/97)

v  The just-as-bad Hogan/Sting rematch the next night on Nitro (Nitro, 12/29/97)

v  Sting is visually pinned for a three-count in his third straight match back from a year-plus-long layoff (Nitro, 2/2/98)

v  I hated all the Nick Patrick, Evil Ref drama, so here’s one in-ring promo with Patrick and J.J. Dillon that stands in as a representative of all that garbage (Nitro, 2/9/98)

v  Sting finally gets his “huge win” over Hogan, but the focus is on Nick Patrick turning babyface, Randy Savage being nutty, and Sting selling a lot for Hogan’s offense (SuperBrawl VIII, 2/22/98)

v  Hogan proceeds to cut a vile promo on the Wolfpac while standing next to Dennis Rodman, doesn’t know any black people, compensates by coming up with substitute slang that sounds appropriate for a white guy from Florida with zero black friends or acquaintances (Nitro, 6/8/98)

v  Hogan, Piper, and Savage have what is a legitimate candidate for the worst promo battle of all-time (Nitro, 6/8/98)

v  Eric Bischoff insists on interviewing Scott Steiner; both men proceed to stink up the arena (Nitro, 6/15/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act I (Nitro, 6/29/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act II (Nitro, 7/20/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act III (Nitro, 7/27/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act IV (Nitro, 8/3/98)

v  Eric Bischoff roleplays a conversation between DDP and Kimberly after the nWo attacks them both, is a driver of traffic to the USA Network. (Nitro, 8/3/98)

v  Eric Bischoff fails at being a late-night comedian: Act V (Thunder, 8/5/98)

v  Eddy Guerrero threatens to quit, cuts a truly awful promo while doing so (Nitro, 8/17/98)

v  Buff Bagwell pretends to be Rick Steiner, joins Scott Steiner and a fake doctor in cutting a shitty promo (Nitro, 8/24/98)

v  Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart vs. Lex Luger and Sting (with “bonus” Disciple and Warrior run-ins) represents a new nadir for Nitro main events (Nitro, 8/31/98)

v  Silver King uses a chair as a springboard, gets DQ’d, everyone (except the ref) in the ring is confused because that wasn’t meant to be a spot that someone gets DQ’d for (Thunder, 9/10/98)

v  Buff Bagwell fakes a neck injury during the Steiner Brothers EXPLODING match; after an extremely long and extremely boring stretcher job, they finally do the swerve that everyone saw coming and attack Rick. (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

v  A War Games with three teams of three, pinfalls attempts allowed, and no Match Beyond (Fall Brawl, 9/13/98)

v  Warrior kidnaps Disciple, prepares to take him somewhere and defile him (Nitro, 9/14/98)

v  Scott Hall is a drunk while wrestling Lex Luger, spews all over Eric Bischoff, is booked to exploit his IRL illness (Nitro, 9/14/98)

v  Scott Hall’s alcoholism blows up a tag match with Stevie Ray against Konnan and Kevin Nash (Thunder, 9/17/98)

v  Warrior just misses the cutoff for “so dumb, it’s fun” and spearheads a merely dumb sketch with a disappearing Disciple and an obvious rubber dummy. (Nitro, 9/21/98)

v  Warrior does some Dollar Store Undertaker parlor tricks in the backstage area, freaks out that dope Hogan (Nitro, 9/21/98)

v  Ernest Miller and Lenny Lane suck at pro wrestling; Scott Hall comes out, does drunk shit, helps Ernest Miller and Lenny Lane torpedo this already awful segment (Nitro, 9/21/98)

v  Hulk Hogan just misses the cutoff for “so audaciously dumb, it’s fun” and cuts a merely dumb promo in which he claims to have gone to a neighborhood full of black people of his own free will and also claims that said black people called him “’Wood.” Also, he wants to be called “Woody,” like Allen, Harrelson, or what you might call an erect penis in slang. No, I did not make any of this up. (Nitro, 9/28/98)

v  Warrior’s response to the Hogan promo is merely bad without any of the audaciousness that got me to laugh incredulously (Nitro, 9/28/98)

v  In the latest nadir for Nitro main events, Bret Hart completes an obvious swerve, we get the only Hogan/Hitman match that we’d get from WCW, and that match is cut off halfway through so that Sting can finish it and we can get your typical nWo bullshit. (Nitro, 9/28/98)

v  After Hogan tails the Disciple following a bad Disciple/Lenny Lane match, the Warrior shows up in Hulk Hogan’s mirror; Bischoff is the only guy who can’t see him and therefore is the deluded one in this sketch that failed even the most basic logical scrutiny (Nitro, 10/5/98)

v  Bischoff insists on dragging out this “Horsemen are banned” angle, loses a fight to Reid Flair in the center of the ring, keeps talking and talking and talking (very poorly) afterward until Papa Flair finally shows up to do something remotely entertaining (Nitro, 10/5/98)

v  Bischoff centers himself with interviews and angles and getting arrested, and every single promo and segment that he is a part of absolutely fucking SUCKS (Nitro, 10/12/98)

v  Chucky the murderous living doll just barely, and I mean just barely, misses the cutoff for “so dumb, it’s fun” and spearheads a merely dumb sketch in which he insults Gene Okerlund and Rick Steiner. (Nitro, 10/12/98)

v  Scott Steiner and the Giant vs. Rick Steiner and Buff Bagwell, followed by Rick Steiner vs. Scott Steiner, followed by the WCW Tag Titles being booked into the ground (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

v  Bret Hart vs. Sting is merely crappy and disappointing, but it directly precedes Hulk Hogan vs. Ultimate Warrior, which is all-time terrible, so let’s just induct them as a duo of big match disappointments (Halloween Havoc, 10/25/98)

v  Hulk Hogan chooses to work out his jealousy toward Jesse Ventura’s then-vibrant political career by announcing his candidacy for POTUS, Part I (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  The Disciple gets mic time for some reason, is joined by Horace Hogan, Stevie Ray, Vincent, and the Warrior for a disastrously bad segment (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  Eric Bischoff puts himself over by beating up some guys from Turner legal (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  Try as she might, Judy Bagwell can’t save a terrible segment in which she and Rick Steiner challenge Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell to a tag title match (Nitro, 11/9/98)

v  Hulk Hogan chooses to work out his jealousy toward Jesse Ventura’s then-vibrant political career by announcing his candidacy for POTUS, Part II (Nitro, 11/16/98)

v  There’s a Flair heart attack angle; it sucks (Nitro, 12/14/98)

v  There’s an angle where Bischoff feigns sympathy for Flair’s heart attack and then beats up David; it sucks (Thunder, 12/17/98)

v  Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff (Starrcade, 12/27/98)

v  Flair spends two segments shedding clothes and reading labels to get around to challenging Bischoff to a career vs. control of WCW rematch; Bischoff comes out and only makes things worse by being bad at talking during the second segment (Nitro, 12/28/98)

v  Liz accuses Goldberg of ra aggravated stalking across a series of vignettes that make everyone involved look like shit (Nitro, 1/4/99)

v  The Fingerpoke of Doom (Nitro, 1/4/99)

v  David Flair is bad, long nWo beatdowns are also bad (Souled Out, 1/17/99)

v  WCW runs a shambolic tag titles tournament (Nitro, Thunder, and [PPVs] in early 1999)

v  Bret Hart vs. Roddy Piper [and also Will Sasso, I guess] (Nitro, 2/8/99)

v  Bret Hart vs. Will Sasso (with a random Debra Wilson heel turn] (Nitro, 2/15/99)

v  Ric Flair is beaten up by the nWo in a field, is driven to the arena by a random dude in a cowboy hat, is then beaten up by the nWo in the ring (Nitro, 2/15/99)

v  Scott and Buff work out, hit on ladies, threaten to beat up people in drag, generally are the worst thing about pro wrestling in February of 1999 (Nitro, 2/22/99)

v  Kevin Nash convinces himself that his Arn Anderson impression was funny, convinces Scott Hall, Hulk Hogan, and Disco Inferno to do impressions as well (Nitro, 2/22/99)

v  Ric Flair hangs out in a mental health institution; Scott Hall and Asya are there, too, for some reason. (Nitro, 4/26/99)

v  Roddy Piper tries to do a comedic top-ten list, should leave it to David Letterman. Should also leave talking to David Letterman or literally every other human because he fucking SUCKS at it. (Nitro, 5/17/99)

v  Hugh Morrus needs an angle, so let’s have him kill a bunch of cruiserweights! (Nitro, 5/17/99)

v  Randy Savage and Eric Bischoff combine on a segment that is damn near a hate crime (in the literal sense of the term) during a Randy Savage/“Kevin Nash” impostor match (Nitro, 5/24/99)

v  Kevin Nash fights Team Madness with the power of poop, dumb comedy voiceovers; in related requests, please stop letting Nash book television. (Nitro, 5/31/99)

v  Eric Bischoff is the worst color commentator in the world (Nitro, 6/7/99)

v  The White Hummer angle is just a bit too much for a wrestling show; beyond that, it gets speculated about, but never gets answered, which tips it onto this list (Nitro, 6/7/99)

v  Ric Flair vs. Roddy Piper (Great American Bash, 6/13/99)

v  WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?! That idiot Scott Steiner did, and it made for an extremely stupid finish to an otherwise dull Rick Steiner/Sting match (Great American Bash, 6/13/99)

v  Manly man Kevin Nash is a super-babyface who fights off like ten dudes and then, uh, kidnaps a woman to make her his sex slave, maybe? (Nitro, 6/28/99)

v  Roddy Piper can’t quite tell if he’s a heel or babyface, and then J.J. Dillon undermines his own executive partner by bringing in Judge Mills Lane to ref Piper’s BatB match even though Lane and Piper hate each other on sight; also, there’s a fake Sting involved in this segment, and oh yeah, they brought Mills Lane in six days before the show with little time to promote his appearance. Peak stupid-ass WCW, in other words. (Nitro, 7/5/99)

v  The West Texas Rednecks “perform” live. (Nitro, 7/5/99)

v  Randy Savage beats the shit out of Gorgeous George (Nitro, 7/5/99)

v  The Junkyard Hardcore Invitational: Finlay wins a shitty trophy, almost loses a leg. (Bash at the Beach, 7/11/99)

v  Roddy Piper vs. Buff Bagwell: A boxing match that ends with a wrestling move and a pinfall in which Judy Bagwell is the one who gets put over like a superstar (Bash at the Beach, 7/11/99)

v  Kevin Nash and Sting face Randy Savage and Sid in a tag match for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship somehow, it stinks bad (Bash at the Beach, 7/11/99)

v  Eric Bischoff, Total Badass stands up to three pro wrestlers. Bonus: Kidman’s SSP lands him in nowhere-land (Nitro, 7/12/99)

v  Hogan beats Savage for the world title (again), but it’s no WM V main event or even close, and also Eric Bischoff is the WOAT at commentating. (Nitro, 7/12/99)

v  Buff Bagwell + blackface = *vomits* (Nitro, 7/19/99)

v  Gorgeous George gets kidnapped (again) after Randy Savage blows up another match and has a mic “battle” with Madusa, and also Jason Hervey is the new WOAT at commentating (Nitro, 7/26/99)

v  Sid Vicious ruins a half-hour of Nitro by busting up multiple matches for the “fake streak” angle (Nitro, 8/16/99)

v  Sid Vicious ruins a half-hour of Thunder by busting up multiple matches for the “fake streak” angle; even worse, brings Rick Steiner out to commentate his fake wins for a while (Thunder, 8/19/99)

v  Rey Misterio Jr. vs. Lenny Lane (Thunder, 8/19/99)

v  Sid Vicious > the whole WCW Cruiserweight Division (Nitro, 8/23/99)

v  After his match against Steven Regal, Buff Bagwell grabs a mic and stands up to Berlyn, stands up for America, could stand to stop sucking at pro wrestling (Nitro, 9/6/99)

v  Buff Bagwell stands up for America, refuses to lay down for Berlyn for real; Berlyn gets his gimmick killed off by Hacksaw Jim Duggan [emphasis on “hack”] (Fall Brawl, 9/12/99)

v  Disco Inferno vs. Erik Watts [including wonky production nonsense and the aftermath] (Nitro, 9/13/99)

v  Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit [including the aftermath] (Nitro, 9/13/99)

v  The debut of Coach Buzz Stern and his student Luther Biggs (Thunder, 9/30/99)

v  Seven apparently paid the troll toll, creepily seduces young child in child’s bedroom at night (Nitro, 10/11/99)

v  Seven is still creepy (Nitro, 10/18/99)

v  Buff Bagwell lays down for the dopey new creative team (Nitro, 10/18/99)

v  The Filthy Animals vs. Harlem Heat vs. The First Family (Halloween Havoc, 10/24/99)

v  DDP and Kimberly make a bunch of masturbation references in a vile promo as part of Page challenging Ric Flair to a Strap Match. (Halloween Havoc, 10/24/99)

v  Rick Steiner vs. Chris Benoit [plus dumb fucking swerve] (Halloween Havoc, 10/24/99)

v  WCW promotes its new Nitro scent by talking about how badly it smells in elaborate detail (Halloween Havoc, 10/24/99)

v  The Nitro Girls EXPLODE (Nitro, 11/1/99)

v  Kevin Nash does a terrible VKM impression, is dreadfully unfunny (Nitro, 11/1/99)

v  Sting vs. Goldberg (Nitro, 11/8/99)

v  Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Brian Knobbs (Nitro, 11/8/99)

v  Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart (Nitro, 11/15/99)

v  Oklahoma debuts (Nitro, 11/15/99)

v  Pinata-on-a-Pole Match (Nitro, 11/15/99)

v  Asya vs. Kimberly [with jibber jabber involving Torrie Wilson and David Flair]

v  Vampiro vs. Berlyn Dog Collar Match [with Oklahoma commentary and Dr. Death post-match run-in] (Mayhem, 11/21/99)

v  Kimberly Page vs. David Flair (Mayhem, 11/21/99)

v  Sid and Goldberg are supposed to have an I Quit match; now that you know the stipulation, guess the finish! Quick, guess! (Mayhem, 11/21/99)

v  The secessionist Revolution has dumb mic battle with Disco Inferno and Lash LeRoux; the fucking mobster dudes get involved, Shane is hilariously bad on commentary, and it’s almost so entertainingly stupid that it avoided this list, but unfortunately, it wasn’t unintentionally funny enough to avoid being placed here (Thunder, 12/2/99)

v  Roddy Piper vs. Creative Control (Nitro, 12/6/99)

v  Vito vs. Lash LeRoux in a Body Bag Match (Nitro, 12/13/99)

v  Vampiro vs. Oklahoma (Starrcade, 12/19/99)

v  Kevin Nash vs. Sid Vicious (Starrcade, 12/19/99)

v  The whole fuckin’ episode (Nitro, 12/20/99)

 

[SirSmUgly]

Next up: BEST FEUDS

Snap observations: Two feuds made this list in 1999 - more than the number of feuds that I put on this list in 1995, 1996, and 1997 combined (!!). The nWo angle, as great as it was, did not do much to engender all-time feuds, though there were many good feuds that didn't reach the level of greatness for me in the midcard for those years. Weirdly, 1998 had the best midcard feuds for my tastes, which is a clear sign to me that WCW had to start shuffling guys up the card in 1998 to try and sustain popularity and just failed to execute. I did add one feud from 1995/1996 which I didn't originally add because I didn't start this Best Feuds list until after I got through the shows for those years. 

Spoiler

ü  Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair (1995/1996)

ü  Eddy Guerrero vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. (1997)

ü  Raven vs. Diamond Dallas Page (1998)

ü  Raven vs. Saturn (1998)

ü  Chris Jericho vs. Dean Malenko (1998)

ü  Booker T. vs. Chris Benoit (1998)

ü  Saturn and Raven vs. Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko (1999)

ü  Sid Vicious vs. Goldberg (1999)

 

[SirSmUgly]

Last up: WORST FEUDS

Snap observations: This list piled on the bad feuds in 1999, especially in the Russo-Ferrara Era. I will note that I had Ric Flair/Hulk Hogan on this list initially, but Flair's work to make an effective heel turn kept it off this list (even if Hogan did absolutely nothing to support a face turn other than dressing in red-and-yellow again eventually, well after the Flair feud). I might go back and put Madusa/Evan Karagias on this list, but the thing about it is that they didn't really feud in the traditional sense until maybe the last week or ten days before Starrcade. 

Spoiler

û  Nick Patrick vs. Chris Jericho (1996)

û  Kevin Sullivan vs. Chris Benoit (1996/97)

û  Hulk Hogan vs. Sting (1996/97)

û  Eric Bischoff vs. Larry Zbyszko (1997)

û  Eric Bischoff vs. Ric Flair (1998/1999)

û  Scott Steiner vs. Rick Steiner (1998)

û  Ernest Miller and Sonny Onoo vs. Kaz Hayashi (1998)

û  Bret Hart vs. Sting (1998)

û  Rey Misterio Jr vs. Eddy Guerrero [lWo feud] (1998)

û  Scott Hall vs. Kevin Nash (1998)

û  Jay Leno and Diamond Dallas Page vs. Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff (1998)

û  The Ultimate Warrior vs. Hulk Hogan (1998)

û  Eric Bischoff vs. Ric Flair (1998/1999)

û  Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page (1999)

û  Ric Flair vs. Roddy Piper (1999)

û  Sting vs. Rick Steiner (1999)

û  Buff Bagwell vs. Roddy Piper (1999)

û  Buff Bagwell vs. Ernest Miller (1999)

û  West Texas Rednecks vs. No Limit Soldiers (1999)

û  Team Madness vs. Kevin Nash (1999)

û  Diamond Dallas Page vs. Ric Flair (1999)

û  Buff Bagwell vs. The Powers that Be (1999)

û  David Flair vs. Kimberly Page (1999)

û  The Filthy Animals vs. The Revolution (1999)

û  The Mamalukes vs. Disco Inferno and Lash LeRoux (1999)

û  Dr. Death and Oklahoma vs. Vampiro and the Misfits (1999)

 

[zendragon]

I'd say The Abott v Lynn SHOOTFIGHT is a rehash of Shamrock v Vader, and Oklahoma stuff is a rehash of JJ's feud with Chyna (Ed Ferrra did actually train as a wrestler)

The Kidman v Malenko match is under CATCH AS CATCH CAN RULES (which at the time I though was kinda cool idea, Russo being a broken clock. the idea of a gimmick match where the wrestling is the gimmick similar to ROH Pure Rules)

I think at some point Russo brings out Johnny Rodz to zero response 

[twiztor]

two major things strike me about your lists, Smelly.

1. between your good and great lists, it's amazing that even at it's worst (or at least so far), there's barely a week or two that doesn't see something added to one of these lists. I think that really speaks to the level of talent that WCW had available. Also a perfectly acceptable reason to keep people tuning in.
2. your "Dirt Worst" list started trending upward in late '97, but really spikes around summer '98. and then jumps again mid '99 straight through the end of the year. that goes right alongside the traditional take that Starrcade '97 was the beginning of the end, but there were multiple steps downward.

But what you can really extrapolate here is a healthier take: It's not that there weren't good things in WCW. there were. It's just that it starts getting surrounded by more and more bad angles/feuds/talking segments. So while the NUMBER of good stuff is consistent, the PERCENTAGE of good stuff is down dramatically. Plus, most of the dirt worst aren't bad actual matches, they're plain bad television. Whether that be unfunny late night talkshow ripoffs, or finishes booked to oblivion, or just characters that are nonsensical or acting against their established MOs.

[SirSmUgly]

18 hours ago, zendragon said:

I'd say The Abott v Lynn SHOOTFIGHT is a rehash of Shamrock v Vader, and Oklahoma stuff is a rehash of JJ's feud with Chyna (Ed Ferrra did actually train as a wrestler)

I didn't think of Shamrock/Vader for Abbott/Lynn - good point - but Oklahoma doing Jarrett's misogynist gimmick was so obvious as to be silly, especially since Jarrett was still working that gimmick even after he left the WWF, taking it a whole month into his latest WCW run. 

14 hours ago, twiztor said:

two major things strike me about your lists, Smelly.

1. between your good and great lists, it's amazing that even at it's worst (or at least so far), there's barely a week or two that doesn't see something added to one of these lists. I think that really speaks to the level of talent that WCW had available. Also a perfectly acceptable reason to keep people tuning in.
2. your "Dirt Worst" list started trending upward in late '97, but really spikes around summer '98. and then jumps again mid '99 straight through the end of the year. that goes right alongside the traditional take that Starrcade '97 was the beginning of the end, but there were multiple steps downward.

But what you can really extrapolate here is a healthier take: It's not that there weren't good things in WCW. there were. It's just that it starts getting surrounded by more and more bad angles/feuds/talking segments. So while the NUMBER of good stuff is consistent, the PERCENTAGE of good stuff is down dramatically. Plus, most of the dirt worst aren't bad actual matches, they're plain bad television. Whether that be unfunny late night talkshow ripoffs, or finishes booked to oblivion, or just characters that are nonsensical or acting against their established MOs.

100%. 

It's only when Russo and Ferrara start booking matches so short that they don't have enough component parts of an American-style pro wrestling match to register as good most of the time that we have a problem with adding matches to the lists. The only matches that are good and under three minutes are top-level squashes. You can't do interesting, back-and-forth stuff in that amount of time. 

I think it's more impressive that Jeff Jarrett had a very good match with Billy Kidman in about four/five minutes on Nitro than him having a great ladder match with Chris Benoit in twelve-ish minutes on PPV. 

Edited September 11 by SirSmUgly

[SirSmUgly]

Thunder Interlude – show number ninety-four – 12 January 2000

"The WCW Gang thinks we're dumb enough to buy the latest Bret Hart fake face turn SWERVE, BRO, but at least we get a two-month reprieve from Russo"

• I have a Between the Sheets episode queued up that is about five hours of content on just this week for WCW…As soon as I get through Souled Out, I’m listening to it…I don’t know if Russo has been sent home to collect a paycheck for three months by the time this Thunder is taped or not…What a wild three months!...

 

• Bret’s in town for Thunder…He enters the arena separately from the rest of the nWo…

 

• Vampiro opens the show against Crowbar (w/David Flair and Daffney)…Vampiro circles around, clobbers Dave in the aisle, and obligabrawls with Crowbar…He tries to uranage Dave on the mats, but Crowbar hits a flipping seated splash onto the whole mass of humanity…Devon Storm is a fun wrestler…He does flips, he takes huge bumps…He made my Good Matches list back in a random 1996 Nitro match, as a matter of fact…It seems like they could have used him on TV way earlier than late 1999…Vamp lands a huge uranage and a legdrop for two…Though Crowbar turns the tide with a flipping legdrop, Vampiro lands a DDT and goes up top…Davey yams Vamp with the crowbar while Daffney runs a distraction…Crowbar goes up for a Latino Frankensteiner rana, but Vamp turns it into a diving powerbomb for three…Davey and Daffney jump Vampiro after the match…Arn Anderson walks down and tries to calm Davey down…Crowbar moves to attack, and Arn drops him…That’s a bit too much for Davey, who just decides to leave with Daffney…Enjoyable opener!...

 

• Tonight’s bouts: Norman Smiley vs. Brian Knobbs in a Hardcore Championship Match held solely outside the arena; Madusa vs. Oklahoma in an Evening Gown Match *siiiiiiigh*; Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray vs. Midnight in a triple threat for some stupid-ass reason…Yeah, Russo is still booking because Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Chris Kanyon in a Champagne Bottle on a Pole Match is the next match that Tenay lists…The main event is a tag match pitting Sid Vicious and Chris Benoit against Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash…

 

• The Hitman wears an exquisite outfit to the ring tonight: Calgary Hitmen t-shirt, backwards Wu Tang Clan baseball cap…Bret is like BOO ME, I’M A BUM, WHY DID I TURN HEEL YET AGAIN, DAMMIT?!...Bret has apologized for letting the fans down like fifty-eleven times in this WCW run, then stayed a heel…How many times can he possibly do this?...He quits the nWo…They come to the top of the ramp…Nash: “You were the same way in New York”…Ooh, insider-y!...Nash claims that “Canadian hero bullshit is dead” and says it’s about shortcuts and the nWo…Nash claims that the nWo is the only reason anyone cares about Bret…Bret calls Nash “a big tall piece of shit” and promises to kick the nWo's asses one by one…Nash suggests that Bret just leave the arena, but Bret promises to stick around and fight…I don’t care enough about the tired, dead nWo enough to even feebly wonder if this is a swerve or not, but knowing Bret's booking in WCW, it probably is…

 

• The Old Age Outlaws sit backstage and consider Bret’s actions…

 

• Uh, there’s footage of a Finlay/Knobbs brawl that happened on Nitro, but that they didn’t show because of how “graphic” it was…It’s just these two guys doing the same trash spots that happen in every hardcore match in these highlights…Meng and Smiley attacked both guys and Meng proffered his hand in friendship…For real!...

 

• Now the Smiley/Knobbs match happens in near darkness outside next to a production truck…It’s your typical bullshit hardcore match…Hudson is worried about his rental getting smashed up, but Tony S. is just shocked that he might be renting a Cadillac…Knobbs wins the title after a shovel shot…

 

• The nWo walks around backstage, waving bats and looking for Bret Hart…

 

• The Revolution is about to get gutted, and I hope Kevin Sullivan just drops the group and its angles….Saturn and Malenko are headed out of the company…What if Brad Siegel just hired Jimmy Hart to book Nitro?...He was already doing what seems to have been a solid job with WCWSN…Ah well, it’s not like it would have mattered much after Nash and Bischoff destroyed this company and the revenue it was generating in 1999 and made it an easy decision for AOL Time Warner to jettison the company and give its television slots away…Douglas yammers on about finishing off the Filthy Animals…He says the internet is talking about him making his return on Souled Out…Douglas promises to make Duggan denounce the country…Malenko does some cursory mic work…I don’t get why Saturn is suddenly both a) a bit nutty and b) so mad at Asya…Everyone calls Asya a BITCH for some reason, and I don’t know why…Are they just misogynists along with being secessionists?...Where did all this anger at her come from?...This is nonsense…

 

• The nWo has found the Hitman and beaten him...

 

• After a break, the OAO watches Bret get his ass kicked on the monitor…Orndorff suggests maybe helping, but Funk and Arn aren’t down with that…

 

• Okerlund insists on talking to Tank Abbott backstage, but thankfully Jerry Flynn jumps him like two seconds into this thing and has a weak pull-apart brawl with Tank…Security runs in and Okerlund is like FLYNN STARTED IT…They cuff both participants in this heatless cornball feud between two guys who get way too much television time…

 

• Recap: Oklahoma versus Madusa is the Amazon Marketplace knockoff version of Jeff Jarrett vs. Chyna…

 

• Madusa (w/Spice) faces Oklahoma in this dumb gown match…Miss Hancock walks to ringside to take notes…Oklahoma remonstrates with her for some reason, allowing Madusa to run up behind him and start an obligabrawl…Tenay mumbles about the Varsity Club being taken off television by Standards & Practices for too much brutality…Oklahoma taped a bottle of sauce to his leg, but he taped it too well and can’t get it loose…Oklahoma stomps out Madusa, but he’s locked on getting that sauce off his leg…That allows Madusa to hit a low blow and a back suplex…She rips his dress off for the win…This suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

 

• uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…

 

• uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked…Oklahoma belts Madusa with the bottle and then strops her and pours the sauce all over Madusa’s boobs…S…U...C...K...E…D…SUCKED…

 

• The nWo threatens to burn Bret’s clothes and his face with a blowtorch somewhere backstage…

 

• Okerlund conducts an interview with Madusa that he starts by being like YOU WANT ME TO GET NAKED TOO IN SOLIDARITY, MADUSA?!?!...Madusa ignores Okerlund and cuts a bad promo on Oklahoma…Some production dude yells CLEAR…

 

• The Midnight vs. Booker T. vs. Stevie Ray match is next…Stevie jumps Booker backstage as Booker walks toward the Gorilla position…Stevie gets edgy and calls Midnight a BITCH…This show is for edgelord chumps…I can’t believe this, but David Flair has been one of the only guys who I’ve enjoyed seeing on this whole show…If that isn’t an indictment of the Russo-Ferrara Era, what is, I ask you?...Stevie destroys Midnight, but as on Nitro, pulls off of pins…Booker recovers enough to come to the ring and send Stevie to the floor…Stevie decides to stay out of the match and make Booker fight Midnight…Stevie got counted out somehow in a triple threat?!?!...Suddenly, there must be a winner in this match, so Booker has to fight Midnight now…This sucks…Booker goes at Midnight, but his heart isn’t in it…Booker grazes Midnight with a Houston Side Kick, and oh wow, this is the worst…

 

• Anyway, Book finally fights back after Midnight throws some punches and a dropkick…He tries an axe kick, but Stevie hits Book with a slapjack…Midnight doesn’t want to win that way and pulls Booker on top of her for the loss…This…was…FUCKING…DUMB…Midnight dropkicks Stevie off the apron after this stupid-ass fucking match and this shitty feud that only an idiot would think was a good or entertaining idea…Stevie comes back and hits her with a slapjack…

 

• What a waste of Booker T., who clearly should have been a U.S. Championship contender a year ago…Instead of just having him beat Bret Hart for it directly, they had him beat Bret Hart for a title shot after Bret dropped the title to Roddy FUCKING Piper…He never got that shot directly, lost the U.S. Championship tournament final to one Steiner, lost the TV title to another Steiner, and spent the rest of the year in a pointless Harlem Heat revival before transitioning into a feud with Stevie Ray…That is damned near criminal negligence from a booking standpoint…

 

• The cops toss Jerry Flynn and Tank Abbott in the same holding cell…Does anyone give a shit about either of these guys?...The moron cops lock the cell and Flynn and Abbott immediately brawl before the cops go OOPS, MAYBE WE SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THAT and go back in to break it up…

 

• Okerlund skeeves on Chris Kanyon’s ladies, and J. Biggs has to redirect his attention to Kanyon…Kanyon cuts a funny promo in which he promises to smash the bottle over Bammer’s bald head – “no offense,” he stops to tell Okerlund – before saying that he, the ladies and Biggs will be headed to Los Angeles on a Lear jet after the match. “And maybe you [Okerlund], if you can stop being a dirty old man for five minutes”…Kanyon is pretty good at this pro wrestling thing sometimes…

 

• Kevin Nash cuts Bret’s hair even though Bret is not actually shown on camera…That looks like yarn, not hair…Logically, why wouldn't the camera person show that they're not actually cutting Bret's hair?...Are they on the nWo dole?...Larry Z. wants to go find Bret and win him over to their side, and he and Orndorff end up conducting a search after the commercial break…

 

• This episode of Thunder is never-ending…Just an awful show…Now, Kanyon (w/J. Biggs and ladies) comes out here for a Russo Special against Bam Bam Bigelow…Kanyon is a pro, so even against ’00 Bigelow in a Russo Special, he’s going to try hard and do some good work…Kanyon stops Bigelow from getting the bucket of champagne with a powerbomb…He goes up there himself…Bigelow crotches him by running into the ropes, then lands a back suplex…After a headbutt, he goes up, but Kanyon lands a low blow and then a super side Russian…There’s a standing ten count, and Kanyon is up first…He scores a few strikes, but runs himself into a Samoan Drop…

 

• The ladies run a distraction on the apron…One distracts the ref while the other tries to seduce Bam Bam…Bammer drops Kanyon from Greetings position and slobbers all over her…Kanyon gets his title belt, swings it, and lands a blow for two…Kanyon goes up and gets the bottle, but drops it after he tries to dive onto Bigelow with it and gets punched in the gut…Bigelow grabs the bottle, but tosses it away…He lands a diving headbutt to the balls and a Greetings from Asbury Park for three….

 

• The Total Stingage runs down, attacks Bam Bam for some reason that I don’t get, and locks on a Scorpion Death Lock…Sting’s music plays and the lights go out…A spotlight shines on TTP, who freaks about the crow perched on the buckles…Um, why did Package attack Bam Bam?...This show makes zero logical sense…Kanyon grabs the bottle and smashes Bam Bam with it, then hits a Flatliner…

 

• Orndorff and Larry Z. find this yarn that is obviously not hair and consider where Bret might be…If they get fooled by a bunch of yarn and Bret swerves them, then I give up…Why in hell would WCW bring Russo back after this run?...

 

• Recap: DDP and Buff have a terrible feud…

 

• In a pre-taped interview, Okerlund is like DEM TITTIES SITTIN' NICE before shifting into journalism mode and asking Kimberly some questions about her life and her relationships with both Dallas and Buff…Okerlund does some yellow journalism nonsense while Kim tries to steer around Gene’s questions…He wants to know why Kim’s been off television…Kim’s like Dallas was like, you gotta get off TV, people are getting at you…Okerlund is like OH, YOU MEAN BUFF?! even though, I don’t know, Ric and David Flair definitely are the first people I’d think of who were getting at her…Okerlund says he’s not trying to be like Springer and then is like Springer…Honestly, the only good thing about this interview is basically getting to look at Kimberly…Other than the fulfillment of the male gaze, this interview has offered nothing and has not heated up this sub-zero feud…

 

• Some guy tapes up Nash’s ribs while Scott Steiner strategically hides a laid-out Bret’s head and Jarrett prepares for the main event tag match…

 

• Okerlund talks to Chris Benoit and Sid Vicious in the back…They threaten their opps…

 

• Jarrett (but not Nash) does some talking in the ring before the match. Jeff Jarrett “Slapnuts” Count: Only one...Jarrett is not good at talking in 2000…It’s all cuss words and “slapnuts”…Sid’s music cuts Jarrett off…Benoit follows behind him…

 

• The match immediately breaks down…Nash goes at Benoit on the floor while Sid throws blows at Jarrett in the ring…Sid rolls Jarrett and goozles him, but Nash jumps the guy from behind…Now there’s a switch in partners…Jarrett and Benoit obligabrawl in the aisle while Sid turns the tide against Nash…Nash hits a big boot, and Benoit recognizes that a Jackknife is probably near, so he runs back to the ring and attacks Nash…

 

• Finally, Charles Robinson asserts some control over the match and gets Nash and Sid to leave the ring as Jarrett takes advantage of a brief two-on-one advantage and continues to attack Benoit…You know, I thought this match was going to be pretty long, as it started about seventeen minutes before the end of this show, but I should have known better…We’re getting a show-closing angle…We speed run a Benoit FIP segment…Benoit comes back with no hot tag…He locks Jarrett in a Crippler Crossface, but Nash breaks it up, and the match breaks down again…

 

• Sid hits a big boot on Nash and preps a powerbomb, but Jarrett dumps Benoit to the floor and attacks…Sid fends both men off for a bit and ends up fighting Nash on the floor…Nash grabs the U.S. title, clocks Sid with it, and tosses it to Jarrett...Jarrett tries to hit Benoit with it, but whiffs…Benoit lands a back suplex and goes up top for a diving headbutt, but Nash shoves him from the top and right into the belt that Jarrett is still holding…Jarrett quickly lands a Stroke for three…That was acceptable enough televised wrestling…

 

• We cut to the back, where Scott Steiner is out and Bret Hart is gone…

 

• Okay, here’s the show-closing angle…Bret staggers out to his car and prepares to leave, but yells I AIN’T GOIN’ OUT LIKE THIS and walks back to the ring…He grabs a pipe on the way…Bret calls the nWo out…Nash and Jarrett come back to the ring with baseball bats…Funk and Arn go out there with weapons (a flaming branding iron and a bucket full of something, respectively)…Nash and Jarrett drop to the floor…So, Arn has a bucket of water, and he tosses it at Bret to smear Bret’s makeup that is masquerading as a black eye, but you can’t really see the smearing…Anyway, we’re not idiots and don’t need to see makeup smear to guess that contrite Bret pretending to rescind a heel turn = Bret’s still a heel…WCW sucks right now, man…Tenay accidentally calls them the NEW AGE OUTLAWS as Larry Z. and Orndorff hustle down here and fail to save Funk from Nash’s wrath…Whatever, this is the dumbest swerve of them all, somehow…At least so far…Funk low blows Nash and both men crawl toward the branding iron as the show ends…

 

• Boy, Souled Out is gonna suck, huh?...OWWWWWWWWWW…

[zendragon]

I had no Idea that DDP was like Miro in that he appears to only be interested in doing angles where other guys fuck his wife

[twiztor]

13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said:

Boy, Souled Out is gonna suck, huh?...OWWWWWWWWWW…

OTOH, maybe the lack of Russo will lend itself to the wrestlers having more time and less interference, so they just get to do what they're actually good at.....wrestling.

i mean, i wouldn't hold my breath, but to me, that seems like a logical way to handle your head writer suddenly not being involved.