twiztor Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 12 hours ago, caley said: I definitely do NOT remember this. DDP, at this point, often felt to me like a guy who had been bypassed by late 90s slang and went up and asked the younger guys what the popular slang was and they intentionally told him the wrong thing and snickered backstage watching him: "Oh yeah, whack it and jack it, that means to challenge somebody to a fight!" "Okay, cool thanks, bro!" see, this part i do remember just because of how WTF it was. just bizarre. 11 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said: I actually went back and checked this because I knew I must have been forgetting an earlier Savage reign in WCW. I was. He won the belt back in 1996 when it was being passed around between himself, Ric Flair, and the Giant. So that final one-day title reign after BatB '99 was it for him. He's done...and I mean, done-done, as I think he only makes a couple more WCW appearances through the end of Nitro. It's one of those things where you have to gauge how much your tastes line up with mine. If they generally do, I would guess you'd like it. If you're like twiztor and not a Goldberg fan, you'll probably give it a star-and-a-half and forget about it the next day. i knew you were miscounting, and yet you actually had me convinced that Savage must have traded the title again during the Nash feud. there was a lot of intensity during the match, the buildup was excellent (i attribute that almost 100% to Sid), and the story told was pretty great. i actually really liked the match and the whole feud up to this point. But then Goldberg basically also steamrolled Sting, and my interest dried up. Like, if there's ONE GUY that doesn't need to be pushed THAT hard, it's Bill goddamn Goldberg. He's already destroyed literally everybody in his path for the last 2+ years, so do you really need to (essentially) double belt him? Why not have him also destroy all three tag teams during their match and hold the tag belts by himself too? Spoiler ESPECIALLY DUE TO WHAT HAPPENS TO THE BELTS NEXT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 21 Author Share Posted August 21 Show #211 – 25 October 1999 “The (first) one that helps me empathize with my friends and family who are diagnosed with adult ADHD, based on what those people tell me about how they sometimes experience life” Sting (in his everyday Steve Borden attire rather than his Sting attire) storms around the backstage area screaming for J.J. Dillon. He tosses a few things around the backstage area in anger while he yells. That’s it. Sting comes to the ring. He has his white tee tucked into his jeans like some kind of dork. I guess the Stinger’s gonna SHOOT, probably. I know that I said that there’s no way Russo can be that much worse than Nash when it comes to booking these shows, but also, is it February of 2000 yet?! Sting SHOOTS about backstage politics while some guy insistently yells GOLDBERG KICKED YOUR ASS. He did! Goldberg did kick his ass! He demands that Dillon get down to the ring, and Dillon appears forthwith. Sting obliquely refers to a “lousy situation” in which Hulk Hogan apparently laid down for some reason that has not yet been explained, so he tried to help the company out by challenging anyone in the back to a match as a make-good, but he never said a damned thing about putting up the gold. Dillon agrees with him, and no one cares because the belt is just a prop anyway, BRO. Dillon says that Goldberg shouldn’t be champ, but The Powers that Be have stripped him of the gold because he, um, attacked Charles Robinson after the match. This may be the one time in Nitro-era WCW that anyone has ever stripped someone of a title for attacking a WCW official. Now we’re getting a 32-man World Championship tournament, and considering WCW’s stellar track record with tournaments, I’m sure this is gonna be well-run and of only the quality that WCW can guarantee. Sting attacks Dillon to send a message to Russo et al., hitting him with a Stinger Splash and locking him in the Scorpion Deathlock, until Goldberg runs down and attacks Sting; security eventually separates them. What if, get this, what if we didn’t do some bait-and-switch bullshit and just made Goldberg, the most popular wrestler in the company, the champion? Wow, look at Tony S. trying to class up the joint with his coiffed hair and natty attire! This is the third fucking title tournament of the year in WCW, I think. Am I forgetting one like I forgot one of Randy Savage’s WCW World Championship reigns? The Tag Title tournament was completed in 1999. There was a United States Championship tournament, too, yes? I think this is the third tournament, but if there’s a fourth one that I forgot, please forgive me; it’s WCW, after all. Holy shit, we have a bracket graphic! Russo, you brilliant bastard! You know he was like BRO, I TOLD VINCE, HEY, WE NEED A BRACKET FOR THE DEADLY GAMES TOURNAMENT, BRO. HE DIDN’T GET IT, BUT BRO, I KEPT TELLING HIM, AND WE ADDED ONE, AND BRO, BRO, YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY THIS, VINCE TURNED TO ME AND TOLD ME I WAS ONE BRILLIANT BASTARD FOR ADDING A BRACKET FOR THE TOURNAMENT ON THE PAY-PER-VIEW. Quadrant One of the tournament includes these matchups: Bret Hart vs. Goldberg; Saturn vs. Eddy Guerrero; Norman Smiley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow; and Billy Kidman vs. Konnan. Quadrant Two: The Total Package vs. a Steiner Brother (Tony S. says it’s Rick); DDP vs. David Flair (bwahaha); a mystery opponent vs. Madusa (oh no, not Oklahoma, please, NO); Brian Knobbs vs. Sting (though Tony S. says Sting will face Hugh Morrus – ah, the dangers of putting up a bracket and then asking a WCW commentator to talk us through it). Tony S. also flogs a Goldberg/Hitman U.S. Championship match, or maybe it’s both a tournament match and a U.S. Championship match? I don’t know. [Editor's note: Yep, they're the same match.] The Outsiders show up to the arena with a cooler, where Mike Graham informs him that TPtB have booked them to wrestle. They’re like, Hell no, we spent all last night with strippers and now we’re gonna drink beer, and Graham can’t help but crack a smile at that. Tony S. is still insisting that WCW New Year’s Evil is happening on the 12/27 Nitro in Houston. Last week’s match was the one that crowned Rey Misterio and Konnan the tag champs, and a week later, there have been two more champs since then (VACANT, Harlem Heat again). Look, I totally forgot a Randy Savage world title reign during a well-booked championship scramble in early 1996 WCW. There is no chance that I’ll ever get things one hundred percent right when it comes to the titles in 1999 and most of 2000, so please, commenters, give me some grace and also correct the hell out of me when need be. Mike Tenay talks to Norman Smiley in the locker room about his world title tournament spot; Smiley was not a fan of all the hardcore shenanigans from last week’s match against Horace Hogan and promises to scientifically outwrestle and then Big Wiggle all over Bam Bam Bigelow tonight. In fact, our Mayhem Match for this week is Bam Bam Bigelow (w/loads of plundah) against Norman Smiley. Smiley comes down the ramp looking concerned about the plundah. Bammer saw that interview and says that this is now a hardcore match. Sure, I suppose that TPtB are fine with that. RATINGS, BRO. Smiley tries to hide behind Nick Patrick, then screams as Bigelow wallops him with some of the plundah. Eventually, Smiley lands an accidental trash can shot by toppling onto Bigelow after having the can stuffed over his head. He hits a Big Wiggle and covers Bam Bam for three. Tenay is like TPtB loves the ratings, so they’re going to make the Outsiders wrestle before he asks the Outsiders how they feel about this. Nash is like I’M RETIRED AND ALSO DRUNK. Hall and Nash then argue over whether or not they have to report to Mike Graham. I’m an adult, Russo et al.! I have an attention span! It hasn’t been ruined by my smart phone yet! Recap: Ric Flair and the Filthy Animals are feuding. They stole that dude’s wedding ring. I know this is supposed to be SHADES OF GRAY BOOKING, BRO, but these dudes jacking Ric’s wedding ring is comical as fuck to me. They’re babyfaces. Except for the fact that they insist on bringing Torrie out here with them. Here come the Filthy Animals, looking awfully uninjured. I’m going to look like a dumbass trying to figure out which injuries are worked and which are shoots over the next few months. Kidman and Torrie take video of each other’s asses (yuck) with the camcorder, also known as the Kid Cam, while Eddy cuts a promo that I think doesn’t have the tone that the rest of group is trying to project. It’s a little too intense. We see video on the Kid Cam of where they took Ric after they drove away with him in the ambulance at Havoc. So, after Flair got his ass whipped in a field earlier in the year, this time he gets dumped in a desert and has dirt kicked on his body. 1999’s been a rough year for Ric Flair in kayfabe, and knowing about his life, probably IRL as well. Kidman cuts a goofy promo in which he declares that Ric Flair is cooked and Harlem Heat is next. These guys cannot cut a fucking promo except for Konnan. Rey promises to hump us all like the dog that he is. Yuck. Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn fire down the ramp and attack the Animals with weapons. Torrie Wilson escapes the ring and backs up the ramp into Shane Douglas and Asya, the latter of whom detains Torrie. If you two bury her in the desert, you’ll be the babyfaces in this household! Curt Hennig is upset that TPtB are trying to phase him out; he claims that they said if he loses, he’s out of WCW. So Russo and Ferrara are babyfaces, then? Hall and Nash try to sober up with some coffee. Nash says that when he goes out for an interview at the top of the hour, the censors need to have their fingers on the buttons. Funny: Nash asks if there’s a three- or a seven-second delay, and Hall asserts that they’re working under “Big Poppa Pump rules,” so it’s seven seconds. Heh. Curt Hennig faces Lash LeRoux. C’mon, Lash! Win this for me! Win this for freedom! Win this for America! Hennig jumps on Lash immediately and tries to get a quick pin; meanwhile, Disco Inferno joins commentary. There’s an obligabrawl and all that; Disco puts Lash and the Power Plant in general over on commentary. He even appreciates Lash’s ballsy move to attack him after the Havoc match. He does not, however, appreciate Lash’s sideburns. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Lash sets Hennig up for a Whiplash, so Hennig punches the ref while on Lash’s shoulders and then grabs a chair and cracks LeRoux with it. Disco tries to back Hennig off and gets clobbered, too. So, is Hennig’s career cooked? Commentary said that Hennig has to explicitly get pinned, so I’m guessing that my earlier paraphrase of what Hennig said that TPtB told him is just a bit of a lazy paraphrase. We’ll go with “Hennig needs to get pinned" going forward. The Filthy Animals hustle through the halls looking for the Revolution. Dean Malenko has gone from face to heel to face to heel in 1999. He’s on that Big Show wave. Bret Hart gets out of his car in the parking lot and hobbles into the backstage area; Goldberg laces up his boots backstage. I do not like Bret’s chances, in other news. Kimberly is a scheming heel when not hanging out with the Nitro Girls, and is a bland babyface when hanging out with the Nitro Girls. SHADES OF GRAY, BRO. Fyre is an ASU grad. I’d suggest that you can’t have a true dance troupe full of conventionally attractive women if at least one isn’t an Arizona State grad. Oh no, Jeff Jarrett walks out holding a guitar, ready to bash some unsuspecting woman over the head with it. Does Jarrett get his “Cowboy” knockoff on the Network, or are we getting a dub? The music he came out to tonight was a dub, but maybe he didn't have his knockoff theme yet. Jarrett threatens to “stroke” all the Nitro Girls, and says Kimberly can kiss his guitar, too. Jarrett says he’s going to be the next WCW World Champion, and it’s a lock because he’s the CHO-CHO-CHOSEN ONE. Jarrett also says that Buff can’t do anything about it and that TTP Lex had better come out here and apologize to him for that last attack unless he “wants to take the next Lex Express outta town.” He swears that he didn’t attack Liz. He's probably lying. Or Goldberg will actually have been revealed to do it in a shock heel turn. Who knows?! (Wait, Goldberg does cut a heel turn at some point, but I seem to recall grey-haired Eric Bischoff there in the photos of this event, so maybe that’s a Russo/Bischoff stupid creative move that won’t happen for a few months.) Mike Tenay interviewed Sid Vicious after the Havoc match. Sid doesn’t care that he earned anyone’s respect; all he cares about is getting back at Goldberg when Goldberg least expects it. Then, he cackles like the Green Goblin. I love Sid, man. He’s the best. Saturn comes to the ring for his tournament match against Eddy Guerrero. Is Eddy even in the building, or is he chasing down Torrie somewhere? No, he’s here with the rest of the Filthy Animals. Saturn grabs a mic and says that if any one of the non-Eddy Animals touches him, they’ll never see Torrie again. Saturn: “Hit the bricks, jabronies. BYEEEEEE.” Saturn is pretty cool sometimes, fellas. Eddy goes right at Saturn and they proceed to have a short match, as is the style of the time on TV. Eddy has his abdomen taped up, and he takes the tape off and ties Saturn’s leg to the bottom rope as the crowd chants EDDY SUCKS. Eddy lands a basement dropkick on Saturn’s leg, but gets backed off by Slick Johnson and rushes past him to eat a Hot Shot from Saturn. These two have great chemistry together, but they really shouldn’t try that hard in Russo et al. era WCW. Saturn works on Eddy’s ribs and abdomen; they trade abdominal stretches before Saturn rakes Eddy’s eyes and hits a release overhead belly-to-belly. The crowd is now quiet because both guys are basically heels, but they wake up for a Saturn springboard clothesline that tumbles both men outside. There’s an obligabrawl which is evenly fought; Saturn dumps Eddy over the railing and gets back inside the ring. While Saturn draws the ref’s attention, David Flair runs down and whacks Eddy in the ribs with a crowbar at ringside, then dumps Guerrero back in the ring. Saturn locks on a Rings of Saturn that gets a quick submission and escapes through the crowd before the Filthy Animals can run back down here and get at him. Nash talks to Hall on a couch backstage; Nash says that he’s going to enact the Jim Morrison plan to stop the show and avoid having to wrestle. I initially thought that he’s going to get in a bathtub and overdose on barbiturates, but no, he just threatens to get naked, no barbiturates involved. The Revolution are holding Torrie Wilson in a storage room in the back. Douglas thinks that they have the perfect hiding spot, but a cameraman found them, so maybe it’s not that perfect. Also, Benoit clocks Malenko with a chair when Malenko walks off to take a leak, so if Benoit found him, I think maybe they should consider an off-site location for keeping Torrie. Malenko shrieks like Norman Smiley when Benoit tags him in the back, and it’s hilarious. Benoit locks the rest of the Revolution into their little storage area, then beats down Malenko in front of them. The Crippler spits in Douglas’s face, lands another chair shot on Malenko, and rips Dean's Revolution shirt off of his body before stuffing it in his mouth. The Wolfpac theme hits and the Outsiders come to the ring to oppose the start of Monday Night RAW. HEY YO is one of the most popular catchphrases of the age, and I think we sometimes forget that. They say that they’re here at the request of TPtB to join the party in Phoenix – Kevin Nash’s current abode of residence according to Hall (WOOOOOOO! cheers the crowd, but really, he lives in Scottsdale). Speaking of popular catchphrases of the age, Nash hits a WOLFPAC OUTSIDERS IN THA HOUSE and then says that they’re not doing what the TPtB tell them to do, as is common for these two when it comes to addressing whichever folks run WCW. Nash prepares to set off the folks in Turner S&P, but Goldberg comes out to the top of some stairs in the crowd and tells the Outsiders that he’s going to fuck them up quite badly later tonight before leaving. WHAT UP, MACH comes over the PA system, and as Macho Man and George come out dressed pretty much like a stereotypical pimp and sex worker, I think to myself that if only Savage had stuck around for the Russo Era, they would have gotten together and produced some truly objectionable television that would be legendary. I bet if you peek into all the alternate universes where this happened, WCW is axed from the Turner networks before July of 2000 in every one of those universes. Savage says that “Russo [and] the vultures in the back” who are hoping that he makes an ass out of himself on TV so they can run him out of WCW are going to be disappointed. Then he calls himself “well-hung” and says “I ain’t no punk bitch.” HAHAHAHA, Turner S&P has the computers ‘putin and the phone lines to Russo’s office bustling with activity! Savage says that the madness can’t be stopped, but he’s going to pass the torch to the next truly great wrestler. He doesn’t name that wrestler now, but he does abruptly leave. Randy Savage really went out sad. It bums me out that his career ended this way. The Filthy Animals are a few minutes late to save Torrie; the Revolution have moved on from their extremely secure storage closet. Madusa shadowboxes in the back before her upcoming tournament match. The Revolution has absconded to a location far away from the arena. No, wait, they’re just in a conference room elsewhere in the arena. Malenko is livid and storms off to find Benoit. We’re just going to do this whole Madusa thing, aren’t we? OK, sure, three months of Madusa being all over my screen is a small price to pay for getting Eric Bischoff fired. And then re-hired. And then fired again. Madusa’s opponent: THA MONSTA MENG. Madusa tries to clubber Meng. She even throws a handful of kicks. Those don’t work, so she looks like she might try to ply him with the promise of some nookie, then pokes him in the eye. She tries a dive. Nope. She tries a slap. Nope. She tries some more strikes. Nope. OK, this is the rare Russo Era TV match that has gone on too long. Meng actually sells for two seconds after she hits an enziguri; she tries a sleeper hold, and Meng tries to shrug her off so that the cameraperson can get an extended panty shot as Madusa’s tiny skirt is flung up and her panty-clad ass can be seen. Fuck off, WCW. Meng shakes her off and finally locks on a TDG for the win. Evan Karagias runs down to help Madusa up. See, Vince Russo found something for these two to do! He always has ideas for the midcarders! Madusa cuts a salacious look at the crowd and juts said panty-clad ass out at Karagias as he helps her out of the ring. Yuck. Malenko storms down and calls Chris Benoit out for a fight. He proposes a Last Man Standing match between the two for later tonight. Kevin Nash sits in the back and reluctantly tapes his wrists. Curt Hennig complains to Brad Armstrong backstage, mostly about the pressure of needing to avoid a pinfall loss; Armstrong complains that TPtB told him that he has no personality and that he needed “to call little brother on the phone” for tips. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh brother. Literally and figuratively, I guess. A trainer checks out Bret Hart’s ankle backstage; it's fractured. The Hitman resolves to come out here to get his big shot at the world title anyway. The Total Package (w/Liz) enters the gladiatorial arena talk show set. Actually, this is a match, not an interview segment: TTP vs. Rick Steiner. Leathers hits Steiner’s music a touch early while Luger’s music is still going. Then he hits it again, finally, and our new TV Champ comes to the ring. OK, I’m ready for the TV title to be dead until Lance Storm revives it. Yes, I am extremely excited for Lance Storm and his band of Canadian supremacists to hit my television, why do you ask? It takes not even ten seconds into the bout before Jeff Jarrett stomps down here with his guitar. He sits down and pops a headset on. He reiterates his demand for a public apology from TTP while Rick Steiner is bad at pro wrestling back in the ring. Jarrett: “This is WCW; why would I hit a woman?” Oh, you’re so funny, Jarrett. Tony S.: “You think I fell off the turnip truck? Look, we saw your shtick in the WWF, we know it’s not below you to whack a woman.” (!!!) Jarrett decides to get up and remonstrate with Liz, who wisely backs away from him. She falls down as she does. TTP comes up behind Jarrett; Steiner comes up behind TTP. Package grabs Jarrett’s shoulder, and Jarrett swings for the fences…and hits Steiner. Steiner gets to his feet and slowly pursues Jarrett to the back while TTP tries to help Liz. In a funny bit, Package attempts to support Liz as she struggles to her feet, but he hears Slick Johnson count to eight and drops her, then rolls in the ring so he can get the cheapie win. That was genuinely hilarious! Liz is put out by TTP’s treatment of her, but Package tries to calm her down by celebrating the victory: WE DID IT! WE DID IT, BABY! Oh man, that was pretty good. Konnan yaps at Mike Tenay in the backstage area and says that when it comes to money and titles, the Filthy Animals take any match between their members as business and not something personal; then, Kidman swears to end the careers of the whole Revolution if they hurt Torrie. Buff Bagwell arrives to the arena, cackling to himself about his plan to play politics with Russo et al. Billy Kidman stomps out looking all upset to face Konnan in a tournament match. They shake hands before the match, but it quickly becomes personal. And also business, I suppose. There is a neat counter in here where Kidman kills a sit-out facebuster attempt with a Sky High. Immediately after that, we get a ref bump and Harlem Heat running down to beat up both of these guys. Booker lands a Houston Side Kick on Kidman while Stevie Slapjacks Konnan. Eddy and Rey run into the aisle and meet Harlem Heat there, and they all attack one another while Kidman rolls over onto Konnan for three. I guess the Slapjack > the Houston Side Kick. Konnan and Kidman shove each other in anger after the match while Eddy and Rey, who were easily dispatched by the Heat, try to back them off. Eddy gets a mic and calms things down. Konnan says that they need to get Torrie back, but also, they need to get the tag belts back from Harlem Heat. After intimating that Harlem Heat are ladies who wear tampons because ladies who wear tampons are LOSERS, Konnan challenges the Heat to a tag title match later in the show; the Heat accept. Boy, we are getting perilously close to seeing a little EWR-style pop-up window that notes that the Filthy Animals were used too much on the show. Buff Bagwell walks toward the Gorilla position. And presumably after that, the ring. I will say this for Russo et al.; they are genuinely trying to get a bunch of guys over and kickstart a bunch of storylines. It’s all too much, and nothing has had time to breathe, so it all settles into my brain as a messy blur, but I appreciate the attempt. The Outsiders hang out backstage and speculate on who they’ll have to face later tonight. Possible opponents bandied about: The Road Warriors (Nash: “What, is it a drinking contest?”); the Fabulous Kangaroos; The Assassins; Butch and Luke (fellas, I think you can say “Bushwhackers” or even “Sheepherders”). Buff Bagwell jabbers on in the ring. He says that he’s going to “relieve himself” all over everything sacred in this business (fella, I think you can say “piss”). He gets on his Shawn Michaels and says he’s not doing any more jobs. Then, he insults “the two idiots in the back who write this crap.” So, this is real, but the rest of the stuff on this show isn’t, correct? I shouldn’t be worried about if the Revolution will dump Torrie Wilson in the Arizona desert because it’s just some crap two idiots wrote, right? Bret’s ankle is fine because you two idiots wrote his injury into the show, huh? Fucking Russo and Ferrara. So, yeah, Buff threatens Russo, which is when Ron and Don GODDAM Harris come to the ring. One of these fuckheads says that they “represent the two idiots who write this crap,” and the other one of these fuckheads clobbers Buff. They stomp Bagwell out. Malenko is walking! Benoit is also walking! Usually, a random 1999 Nitro feels like it’s about six hours long because it’s mostly dullsville with a few awful segments mixed in. This 1999 Nitro isn’t good, but it doesn’t feel six hours long because it’s dull. Rather, it feels six hours long because Russo et al. booked six hours’ worth of stuff onto this three hour show. Less commercials, it’s closer to two hours than three. Benoit and Malenko come down in blue jeans and shoes, which is the fashionably correct way to dress for a LMS match. They have a decent little brawl to start, but that’s Benoit’s forte, so Malenko struggles. Benoit crotches Malenko on the post, stomps him out in the corner, and lands a super back suplex. He bonks his own head on that last one, so we get a dual ten count from Charles Robinson. They’re both up at five, and Benoit hits two rolling Germans on Malenko before Malenko fights the third one and lands a mule kick to Benoit’s sack. Malenko takes control, suplexes Benoit to the floor, and follows him with a successful baseball slide. Malenko bashes Benoit around the ringside area, using the stairs to damage Benoit’s lower lumbar; he disrespectfully spits on Benoit. Malenko brings things back to the ring, where he gets countered into a back suplex and snot rocketed. The men get back to their feet, hit a double-clothesline, and Benoit manages to beat the standing ten count while Malenko just barely does not. The Filthy Animals rush down here and surround Benoit; Benoit just steps out of their way and let them stomp out Malenko. The rest of the Revolution comes out to the top of the ramp with Torrie in tow. Douglas says that if the Animals don’t back off Malenko, Asya will seriously hurt Torrie, the latter of whom is in her grasp. The Animals give Malenko safe passage because they care about that dolt Torrie for some reason. The Revolution backs outta there, and the Animals chase them. We come back to the Revolution bundling Torrie into a car and peeling out just ahead of the pursuing Animals. Rey and Eddy take off to chase after Torrie while Kidman and Konnan stick around for the tag title match later tonight. The bracket was right and Tony S.’s production sheet was wrong; Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart and Hugh Morrus) is the guy wrestling Sting in the title tournament, not Morrus. And I use the term “wrestle” loosely, as Sting batters Knobbs with the bat while Nick Patrick sends Morrus and Hart from the ring, then holds Morrus off from coming in to confront him by wielding the bat before getting a quick cover for three. The Stinger didn’t even take his longcoat off. The Outsiders debate over who should start their match first. Just do rock-paper-scissors in the traditional Kliq style, fellas. Tenay interviews Bret Hart. Hart: “If it wasn’t for bad luck, I’d have no luck at all.” Is that kayfabe or shoot? Both? Bret’s 1999 was the absolute worst. Bret promises to take it one match at a time even though he’s got a hairline fracture in his ankle that the two idiots in the back have insisted that he sell. Harlem Heat went from seven-time to ten-time WCW World Tag Team Champions in the span of two months. In my view, wrestling fans primarily blame Russo for the WCW title belts becoming pass-around props, so let me remind you that this was common to WCW well before Russo was hired. They’re facing Kidman and Konnan, and based on the amount of TV time the Filthy Animals are getting, I predict yet another title change. Konnan has talked quite enough tonight, thank you, but he insists on hitting his Catchphrase Roulette before the match anyway. Stevie starts out by stomping both Animals to the mat. Eventually, Konnan gets control, but Booker saves on a Konnan pinfall attempt, and Stevie takes back over and dumps Konnan to the floor. We get an obligabrawl before Booker dumps Konnan back into the ring. Booker stomps Konnan after he tags in; I guess the Animals are the babyfaces? Konnan’s the dude in peril in this match, at least. The Heat controls with doubleteams and clubberin’ until Booker hits his signature spot where he crotches himself on a Houston Side Kick attempt. Kidman gets the hot tag and lands offense on both Heat members, but Booker lands a tower Houston Side Kick on Kidman while Stevie holds him up after stopping punches in the corner. The finish is a fucking mess, and here’s why: Stevie kills a Kidman rebound bulldog with a back suplex and a bridge. Kidman gets his shoulder up at two, which would be a sensible, if weak finish if Stevie, for once in his life, didn’t land a perfect bridge and have his left shoulder way the fuck off the mat. Anyway, we cut away from this title win immediately so Goldberg can talk to Mike Tenay in the locker room. Speaking of Goldberg talking, he says that he is an angry man, and Sid just made him angrier. Goldberg says he has respect for the Hitman, which isn’t going to last too much longer either shoot or kayfabe, probably, and that he has no problem finishing Bret off and fulfilling his promise to get at the Outsiders besides. Kimberly and DDP are walking! Kimberly and DDP are still walking! This time, they’re coming down the ramp for the DDP/David Flair match. Page insists on talking, unfortunately. Both of the Pages, actually. Kimberly actually calls out the fact that she’s not anywhere near the Nitro Girls, so she’s a heel now. A heel in a dress that really fits her. *ahem*, sorry. She introduces Page, who is not going to get any of his catchphrases over tonight, per the usual. Wait no, he gets a bit of TWO-TIME, TWO-TIME call-and-response from the crowd. Page checks the front of not-so-Dopey Dave's robe for weapons and gives him a big smooch on the cheek when he doesn’t find one, then turns around as David takes the crowbar from where it’s tucked into the back of his jeans and clobbers the shit out of Dallas. Kimberly covers her then-hubby, and Dopey Dave thinks about WHACKIN’ HER, GABAGOOL as DDP might say, but he leaves. So does DDP win, or like, what? Anyway, there's a stretcher job after the "match." You know what thought popped into my head as they wheeled DDP out: I thought the Jersey Triad was a stable from the year 2000. I was a whole year off. Again, please feel free to post your corrections because it's been two-and-a-half decades, and I only watched a bit over half of this run as it originally happened in the first place. Hall and Nash are in the ring when we come back, and oh, I gotcha, they got a couple of strippers down here, and it looks like part of this segment was cut out of the Network version entirely. Hold on, let’s go to the YouTubes. Ah, the match on this video is titled Kevin Nash and Scott Hall (The Outsiders) vs. Female Porn Stars. HAHAHAHAHA, OK, I think I can guess why some of this segment was excised. There are three porn stars. The East Asian one has quite the pair of silicone lung hammers. Sorry to be crude, but “lung hammers” as a euphemism kills me and gets my wife to comically roll her eyes if I use it. I promise I'll use it sparingly in my writing as I do in real life. Nash almost imperceptibly touches his chest and hits a look that indicates that feels subconscious about his pecs after looking at the East Asian woman, heh. Hall locks up with one of the blonde ones and gets motorboated. I’m serious, I sincerely doubt that Vince Russo has ever even seen a vagina, other than a) on the internet or b) in his dreams. Anyway, they do a Russ Meyer-style sex farce of a wrestling match in which Hall takes a Flair Flop off after getting beaten in the head by the first blonde porn star’s boobs while Tony S. laughs uproariously and Heenan predicts BIG NUMBERS for the show. I’m a heterosexual male with, as we’ve discussed before, still-healthy T-levels, so I am not complaining about pretty ladies with nice figures in general, but come on, this makes me embarrassed to be a wrestling fan. Phoenix, on the other hand, is awake for a sustained period the first time all night. I hate to judge them, but I sort of am judging them. The East Asian lady gets in the ring and demands that the Outsiders both lay down and do the job in exchange for her tearing off her shirt, which she teases after the bell rings. I sure hope my wife doesn’t knock on my office door and then walk in because she doesn’t hear me doing work like she often does. Anyway, per the usual when guys are distracted by attractive ladies, the Outsiders aren’t paying attention when Goldberg runs down and spears first Hall, then Nash as they turn around. I think we’re finally at the main event. Please, I can’t take any more of this rapid-fire nonsense. Bret Hart limps out, and Goldberg busts out of his locker room and is escorted to the ring. This is a U.S. Championship match on top of being a world title tournament match because everything is just too damn busy in this company. Goldberg backs Bret into the corner on a collar-and-elbow and cleanly breaks. He next backs Bret into the ropes and controls from there, with a knee, a lariat, and a press into a powerslam. Goldberg’s looking a lot like 1996 Diesel at the Survivor Series, actually, as he is slow to follow up and only fires off punches when Bret does so first. Goldberg tries his legbar and actually might have won it with better positioning, but Bret is right near the ropes and quickly grabs them. Is this Bret playing possum? I’m already conditioned to expect a swerve. Bret tries to out-strike Goldberg; it fails. Goldberg snaps Bret’s injured ankle and slowly pursues the Hitman. I become more convinced that Goldberg is going to lose this somehow the longer it goes on. He does have a lot of enemies: Sting, the Outsiders, Sid Vicious. Let’s just get to the swerve, dammit. OK, here it is; after Bret valiantly fights through another legbar and hangs on even in spite of Goldberg trying to win on another match stoppage rather than destroy Bret’s ankle, there’s a ref bump after Goldberg tosses the Hitman out of a sleeper and into Mickey Jay. Goldberg knocks Bret from the ring with a lariat. This is when the Outsiders and Sid Vicious all run to the ring. Goldberg initially fends off Hall and Nash, but Sid slips in a big boot, and they land impact moves on Goldberg (chokeslam, side slam, powerbomb) before leaving. Bret struggles back into the ring, covers Goldberg, and…barely gets three when Goldberg kicks out at 3.1. That is not the worst way to have Goldberg eat a second loss. Hell, they should have had him eat his first loss that way. Well, while I did think the way that Goldberg lost was convincing and well-booked, that show was overall quite low in quality. Hey, at least I paid attention to all of it! I mean, I feel a little wired now, so maybe I’ll go take a walk, but I paid attention to all of it! -2.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted August 21 Share Posted August 21 (edited) haven't read this latest review yet, but i had to pop in and share this: the episode of TNA Impact i just watched (12/8/05) featured the debut of the Chicago White Sox's S&C coach: Dale Torborg! he was not referred to as a wrestler, and WCW wasn't mentioned. i assume this is the angle that leads to the "basebrawl" match or whatever. just thought it was funny how it synced up. edit: it was indeed thr basebrawl match (just a six man tag). White Sox player AJ Pierzynski was at ringside. Tenay did mention Torborg was formerly the Demon. no mention of being "MVP", although that would have been more appropriate. match was fine, the highlight was Bobby Heenan joining the commentary booth. i miss him. Edited August 21 by twiztor 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 So I watched the outsiders v pornstars clip and its such and example of Russo missing the mark. Of course young men like attractive women, The Nitro girls where not dissimilar from ring card girls, cheer leader and dance troupes featured in other sports. Its an organic way of working cheesecake into the show, but Russo just books a bunch of porn girls like the Howard Stern clone that he is 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 22 Author Share Posted August 22 Thunder Interlude – show number eighty-five – 28 October 1999 "The WCW Gang keeps trying to remind you that the show is all an illusion, but nothing seems very illusory about Sid or Chris Benoit's performances" Let’s see if and when Thunder changes sets and openings under the new regime…I would expect a fuller refresh any show now… Juventud Guerrera opens the show against Evan Karagias…Ah, this is announced as a return match from a couple of Nitros ago when the Hitman busted up the proceedings…Juvi wins a shoulderblock, gets hip tossed, avoids a dropkick, and wins a headscissors…Then, as he did before all that action happened, he signals for the Juvi Driver in the most suggestive way possible…This is some quality pace on this match…Larry Z. talks about how the field in the big world title tournament is now wide open with Goldberg out of it…Karagias has taken over at this point and scores a couple of two counts…Juvi regains control and targets Karagias’s knee while the crowd briefly chants that JUVI SUCKS…Weird, the week before, there was nothing but unbroken crowd heat, but now, the sound of the crowd is far more off-and-on… *sigh*, Sid walks down and, as Bret did a couple of weeks ago, is like, Please stand aside sirs, I have something to say…Sid pretends that he’s still undefeated…He says that he should be considered the winner of the Goldberg match at Havoc and says that he has proof…Sid says that if anyone wants to try and defeat him, for real for real this time, they can take his challenge that he’s issuing to the roster…Chris Benoit comes out and tries to get “silent, but violent” over…Uh, I don’t like it for multiple reasons…Sid shakes the hands of the competitors whose match he interrupted and pretends that he’s going to leave without powerbombing any cruiserweights, but you know better than that, right, dear reader?... There’s a pretty young lady behind the commentary desk who is cracking me up…She desperately wants to get on TV…She’s got a sign that says I’VE GOT THE PUPPIES (arrow pointing downward) over her head and is waving frantically at the camera…So goofy…We cut to Gene Okerlund interviewing the Maestro…It’s so bad, man…It’s so “indie worker who clearly doesn’t have the personality to go farther than the main events of his regional promotions”…Don’t let the Maestro do this again!... Chavo Jr. walks through the back yelling for Goldberg…Mike Graham is sitting backstage and is like, You know he’s in Los Angeles shooting a movie, and what are you doing trying to get your ass kicked by Goldberg, anyway?...Chavo says he thinks this is a pretty good way to get some TV time…He’s not wrong!...Walking backstage with authority and purpose definitely gets you a segment or two… Prince Iaukea wrestles the Maestro next…The Maestro, as I’ve said before, is a passable worker, and I think Iaukea’s a fun underneath guy, so this is fine…I wonder what a cup of coffee in a big company can do for you when you return to the indies…Like, how long did the Maestro eat off of selling his gimmick to Randy Savage, then getting some TV time on post-peak WCW television?...Anyway, the Maestro finally gets a win on Thunder with an STF, which he calls The Encore…He locks it on again after the bell in a literal encore… The men of the Revolution are walking backstage!...See, Chavo was right… As we unfortunately relive the dumb Torrie Wilson kidnapping plot, the Revolution come to the ring…I’m not entirely sure that Shane Douglas is a good promo…He just yells a lot and sprinkles cuss words into whatever he’s saying…Shane says that Torrie is stashed away somewhere safe…Malenko says that he plans to win his world title tournament match against Chris Benoit on the next Nitro in the most stilted voice ever…I like Saturn, but I’m not sure he should ever be the best talker in your group…Anyway, Silver King and El Dandy come to the ring to enhance the talent of the revolution while Douglas joins commentary… King and Dandy do a double superkick spot in which a) their boots come nowhere near Saturn’s head in the chosen camera angle and b) you can see them slapping their thighs as hard as possible…Well, that totally broke the magic for me…Let’s just get to the ending…Wait, no, Saturn landing a top-rope knee on King while Malenko had him in backbreaker position brought me back…Shane, while Malenko chokes an opponent: “Don’t you love Malenko’s new attitude?”…Me: He was doing that in May of this year; it’s not all that new!...Dandy does a much better job of hiding his bicep slap as he throws an uppercut…This match was actually a pretty action-filled bout…Malenko wins with a chain shot and a Texas Cloverleaf on Dandy… Chavo is still walking backstage!...Two segments, buddy!...Good for you!... Nitro recap: Tenay said, “This ain’t your father’s Nitro anymore!”…But I liked my father’s Nitro!...Anyway, we get a review of each of the first-round matchups in the world title tournament… Gene Okerlund talks to Harlem Heat backstage…Stevie has Curly Bill on deck later tonight…It’s time for the first edition of Stevie Ray Insults the World: “punk-ass sellout” and “fruit-bootied sapsucker” are the big, dumb, funny ones that he drops on Virgil Vincent Curly Bill…Booker starts to talk about getting the tag titles back, when from off camera, the whole trio is confused by a loud voice yelling GOLDBERG…GOLDBERG, WHERE ARE YOU, YOU COWARD?!...That counts as a third segment even though you didn't actually show up in it, Chavo…Nice job fitting yourself in again!... I guess along with worked shoot nonsense, Russo and Ferrara love meta-humor…That makes sense, as those tropes are cousins… The Revolution gets into their car in the parking lot…It blows up when they start the engine!...No, just kidding, not this time, either, but I still think Russo is itching to book a car bomb or two… Why in the world do we need to interview both sides of the Stevie Ray/Curly Bill affair?...I guess Hennig is done with the WTRs, what with having to be more focused on saving his job and all…And also Barry Windham and Bobby Duncum Jr. are hurt anyway…Bill cuts a terrible fucking promo in which he attempts humor and fails badly at it…I love that every time Virgil Vincent Bill gets into a new group, it lasts for less and less time after he enters it…The first solid humor in Bill’s presentation tonight comes from Penzer, who announces Bill as from “South Pittsburgh, Texas”…Heh heh… Booker joins the desk and talks about his upcoming world title tournament match against Jeff Jarrett…While I am excited about one specific Booker/Jarrett world title bout, that’s not for another few months of TV time, unfortunately…Stevie obliterates Bill…He brings Bill out and tosses him over the commentary desk…Booker is pretty funny in this sequence…Booker: *fake concern in his voice* “Oh my goodness, Curly Bill, are you okay?”…*pretends to check on Bill, disrespectfully slaps him*…Then, because Tenay has lost his headset, Booker takes over on color and does a proto-Black Snow deal…For some dumb reason, there’s a ref bump so that Bill can use his boot to hit Stevie…Booker doesn’t quite call his own run-in, but he does pop up from the desk and clear Bill out with a roundhouse kick so that Stevie can recover and land a Slapjack for three… The Filthy Animals, you guessed it, are walking backstage…OK, after this show, I have decided that unless the [somebody walking backstage] blipment is important to the show, I’m just going to skip typing it out…Just assume that everyone in WCW is walking backstage at any and every given moment unless otherwise noted… The Filthy Animals hit the ring after the break…They are pretty over, but they are also in San Diego, which makes sense…Oh, yeah, I guess somehow the Revolution stole their car last week?...Eddy and Rey chased them in a white Cadillac last week…I think that might have been the same car the Revolution left in a few segments ago…OK, hold on, so last we saw these groups, Rey and Eddy chased the whole pack away in their car…*something happened*…The Revolution still have Torrie and also now have the Filthy Animals’s car…I think that’s where we’re at…That *something happened* is an off-putting plot hole, but it’s more fun to pay attention to than the DREADFUL mic work displayed by all the non-Konnan members of this group…You’d be hard pressed to think that Eddy would ever be a star based on his mic work while a part of this stable… Lord Regal, Squire Taylor, and Commoner Adams come to the ring…This is a trios match, and Rey is the odd man out who joins commentary…He’s such a bad talker at this point…You have to credit the folks in the WWF for getting both he and Eddy and molding them into legitimately strong promos…Rey does try to borrow twenty bucks from Larry Z., which is funny…Larry Z. knows better than to say he has it…The tag match is actually solid since five of the six guys range from “above average” to “elite” when it comes to the ring work…Kidman is FIP, but Adams misses a diving clothesline from the top…The match breaks down after the hot tag…Rey pops up from commentary and beats someone down at ringside while Eddy drops a Frog Splash on Taylor for three in the ring… Chavo Jr. talks to someone on the phone…He gabs about getting himself over by calling out Goldberg…He’s found a cheat code to getting cameras to follow him around a WCW wrestling show…HOW META… Gene Okerlund interviews Berlyn and THE WALL, BROTHER backstage…Berlyn speaks English because we’re a bunch of monolingual idiot Americans…Well, except for a significant percentage of tonight’s live audience, which includes a good proportion of Mexican Americans…He does his typical shtick on the mic… Lash LeRoux comes to the ring…He cuts a bad pre-match promo about his upcoming world title tournament bout against the Cat on Nitro…This San Diego crowd seems baffled by his Cajun accent and his gratuitous French speaking (another mark against Berlyn’s comment about monolingual Americans)…Chavo is his opponent…He grabs a mic and says I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW I’M LOOKIN’ FOR GOLDBERG; YOU SEE THAT PUNK, YOU LET ME KNOW…Chavo may not live through the next Nitro…Tenay lays out the tournament schedule, which includes the final four and the championship match at the Mayhem PPV…He also announces a Sid Vicious/Scott Hall tournament match on Monday… In the ring, Chavo and Lash have a decent match…Both men exchange two counts and control of the match in general…Chavo is the babyface to a seemingly sizeable contingent of women right near the mics…Lash totally fucks up the spacing for a Hot Shot and dumps Chavo on his face…He then lands a Whiplash for three… Kidman uses the Kid Cam to spy on Buff laying out his upcoming match against Scotty Riggs in the back…Riggs and Buff talk about Riggs getting the order to go over, 1-2-3…*sigh* The Cat and three conventionally attractive women step out of a limo…And the Cat’s growing out his hair…Aw yeah!...Twiztor pointed out in a post earlier that the Cat was the rare person to come through Nash Era booking better off than he started it…He’s about to do that again during the Russo-Ferrara Era…That’s impressive in its own way… Berlyn (w/THE WALL, BROTHER) head to the ring…Huh, a now-rare Jerry Flynn (w/Jimmy Hart) appearance…Mike Tenay is excited about the new WCW movie being filmed…They need some extras to come on by the set in Los Angeles…They’re giving away a new truck in a sweepstakes and offering free food to everyone who shows up…I, for one, will not be stopping in the middle of this series to review Ready to Rumble…This is a decent enough television match that is fit for any B-level wrestling show…Tenay explicitly said that he found new respect for Sid at Havoc, but now, and I quote, “it’s back to square one”…It is, and it’s a shame that WCW didn’t capitalize on Sid’s performance at Havoc by turning him babyface immediately…Hart tries to attack Berlyn and gets piefaced by TW,B…Flynn hangs himself on a kick attempt and eats a damaging punch from TW,B…Berlyn covers for three… Chavo has recovered from the Whiplash and once again yells for Goldberg in the back before Sid pops up around the corner, goozles the poor guy, and yells LOOKIN’ FOR SOME TV TIME?! WATCH WHAT YOU WISH FOR ‘CUZ YOU MIGHT GET IT, then tosses the underrated and underutilized Chavo across the top of a tiny dumpster of the type that you'd dump your industrial cooking grease into. The Cat (w/a trio of ladies, a growing head of hair) saunters down the ramp…There’s no Sonny Onoo to be seen…Apparently, Miller injured his knee…That explains why there hasn't been hide nor hair of him on WCW television for awhile…Miller insults the folks in the audience, then declares that he’ll beat everyone still in the world title tournament in a single night…That’s it; this is just to re-debut the guy… Buff Bagwell is angrily walking…I guess he tried to get the match ending changed, but no dice… Benoit talks to Okerlund in the back…The former says that he’s going to cure Sid of any delusions that he’s still undefeated…Then he tells Okerlund that if the veteran interviewer runs across Malenko backstage to deliver him a warning from Benoit…Short and sweet… Since Russo et al. have made it clear that Buff’s matches don’t matter since they’re explicitly pre-determined, and the only thing that does matter is the finish that Buff was denied the opportunity to change, let me skip to the finish of his match against Scotty Riggs…Buff sneaks a small package and holds on so that Riggs can’t kick out…Riggs and Mickey Jay are upset over the unplanned finish… And now Sid and Benoit are actually going to fight each other next…No finish planned ahead of time at all, unlike the previous match, at least as presented on screen…Russo and Ferrara just don’t get that when you tell fans that the action in one of your matches doesn’t matter, they eventually get the message that maybe none of the action in any of the matches matters… Sid and Benoit have an even brawl to start, but Sid lands a clothesline and makes a bit of space for himself…Sid sits Benoit up top, but doesn’t capitalize immediately and gets hit with a missile dropkick for two…Sid kicks out with authority, launching Benoit to the floor where a short obligabrawl starts…Benoit barely grazes Sid with a low dropkick as part of my least favorite transitional spot, but Sid is able to dump Benoit back outside after eating a bit of leg damage…The folks in the front row start a SID chant… We get a second, longer obligabrawl dominated by Sid…He rolls Benoit in and covers for two…Sid tries a Shinonomake, then turns it into a slam for two more…This is a good heel control segment from Sid…Benoit eventually fights out of the corner with strikes, so Sid lands a big boot to calm things down…Sid applies a bendy chinlock and yells RING THE BELL…Sid really is having quite the run for himself lately…A Sid rib breaker only gets about 2.5…He follows up with a front slam, but again, Benoit kicks out…Sid gets frustrated that Benoit won’t stay down, stares at the ref, and glares at the crowd… A BEN-WAH chant starts, and on cue, he ducks a Sid lariat and hits a German Suplex…He goes up and tries a diving headbutt, but Sid’s easily up and out of the way…Benoit is able to get back to his feet first because a little head injury means nothing to him…He scrambles over and locks Sid in a Crippler Crossface…Saturn and Malenko have showed back up to the arena and attack Benoit, but Sid has had it with these dopes and powerbombs them both…He powerbombs Benoit for good measure…The Filthy Animals jump the Revolution from behind as the show ends…The fuck finish doesn’t get in the way of the fact that it was a good match…Sid and Benoit are a good pairing… This show overcame a lot of bad mic work and dumb worked-shoot meta commentary bullshit and ended up being enjoyable enough…WOO… 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 22 Author Share Posted August 22 On 8/21/2024 at 8:32 AM, twiztor said: there was a lot of intensity during the match, the buildup was excellent (i attribute that almost 100% to Sid) I can't agree with the bolded part myself. Goldberg cut some excellent intense promos, including earlier on Havoc where he was excited to make Sid bleed some more, for me to get close to agreement with you on this one. Quote But then Goldberg basically also steamrolled Sting, and my interest dried up. Like, if there's ONE GUY that doesn't need to be pushed THAT hard, it's Bill goddamn Goldberg. He's already destroyed literally everybody in his path for the last 2+ years, so do you really need to (essentially) double belt him? He won the first belt in a wonky way (by injuring Sid beforehand), then caught Sting on a night that Sting had ostensibly prepped for the Hulkster. I don't think any of it felt like overkill. The Vegas crowd was also very into it. If there's any fault w/r/t the U.S. title, it's that they put it on Sid in the first place so that he could mimic Goldberg's streak. That title would have been far better off with Chris Benoit defending it in competitive matches within the upper-middle of the card rather than taking it off Scott Steiner to put it on David Flair and then giving Benoit one PPV win after capturing it against DDP before having him drop it to Sid. As an aside, and I'm not trying to pin this statement on you at all, I'm talking generally, people often talk like Goldberg steadily lost his overness in 1999 after his first loss and the Fingerpoke of Doom follow up, but that's not true. He is as hot as he ever was the whole year. Him beating Sting in a match that was 60/40 Goldberg seems fine? I know it's not what you want to see, but I can't quibble with the layout or the ending. 9 hours ago, zendragon said: So I watched the outsiders v pornstars clip and its such and example of Russo missing the mark. Of course young men like attractive women, The Nitro girls where not dissimilar from ring card girls, cheer leader and dance troupes featured in other sports. Its an organic way of working cheesecake into the show, but Russo just books a bunch of porn girls like the Howard Stern clone that he is 100%. Young men, middle-aged men, and old men alike enjoy attractive women, but this is pro wrestling, not Pornhub. If anyone wants to argue that Liz in a sexy dress valeting Luger is outmoded, okay, but it's also something that I can look at, accept its outmoded nature, and still not be deeply embarrassed to watch. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 According to WIKI The Maestro had about a ten year indy run post WCW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: I can't agree with the bolded part myself. Goldberg cut some excellent intense promos, including earlier on Havoc where he was excited to make Sid bleed some more, for me to get close to agreement with you on this one. He won the first belt in a wonky way (by injuring Sid beforehand), then caught Sting on a night that Sting had ostensibly prepped for the Hulkster. I don't think any of it felt like overkill. The Vegas crowd was also very into it. If there's any fault w/r/t the U.S. title, it's that they put it on Sid in the first place so that he could mimic Goldberg's streak. That title would have been far better off with Chris Benoit defending it in competitive matches within the upper-middle of the card rather than taking it off Scott Steiner to put it on David Flair and then giving Benoit one PPV win after capturing it against DDP before having him drop it to Sid. As an aside, and I'm not trying to pin this statement on you at all, I'm talking generally, people often talk like Goldberg steadily lost his overness in 1999 after his first loss and the Fingerpoke of Doom follow up, but that's not true. He is as hot as he ever was the whole year. Him beating Sting in a match that was 60/40 Goldberg seems fine? I know it's not what you want to see, but I can't quibble with the layout or the ending. i'm well aware that my bias against Goldberg is shining through here. everything you say is reasonable and are good takes. i can't align with them personally, but i again, i am just blinded by distaste for that man/character. I enjoy reading your reviews and don't want to derail any further. I would also never say that his popularity decreased. quite the opposite- he's a very rare example of a guy who stayed massively over regardless of booking changes. IIRC his heel run doesn't last long because, much like Austin a couple years later, the crowd just refuses to boo him. also, i love the movie Ready 2 Rumble. i wish i could recommend watching it where it lands in the chronology, but it doesn't blend in and feels self contained. it shouldn't be a suprise that the tag match featuring Silver King & El Dandy was good- they were a legit tag team in Mexico for a decent amount of time. "Los Fabulosos". don't remember if that name gets used on WCW tv. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 this was probably a minority opinion, but a significant minority none the less, where I got tired of the same unstoppable force narrative for Goldberg, I would compare him to Brock showed changes in his personality (dressing like a farmer during his recent run against reigns or mocking Eddie with the Mariachi band and Sombrero) to keep himself fresh. I know at some point with Goldberg they just try to redo the streak which started to feel like "next verse, same as the first" to me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 22 Share Posted August 22 48 minutes ago, twiztor said: . "Los Fabulosos". don't remember if that name gets used on WCW tv. I vaguely remember them using it but iirc it was more of a vehicle to get Stacy Keibler over than anything else I watched a clip of Go!dberg-Nash the other day and forgot how very much Russo wanted to remind the fans that this is fake but THIS might be real! Terrible stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 23 Author Share Posted August 23 18 hours ago, twiztor said: also, i love the movie Ready 2 Rumble. i wish i could recommend watching it where it lands in the chronology, but it doesn't blend in and feels self contained. You know, I'm not sure I've met anyone who has genuinely loved that movie! What did you love about it? (I've still never seen it, actually.) 18 hours ago, zendragon said: this was probably a minority opinion, but a significant minority none the less, where I got tired of the same unstoppable force narrative for Goldberg, I would compare him to Brock showed changes in his personality (dressing like a farmer during his recent run against reigns or mocking Eddie with the Mariachi band and Sombrero) to keep himself fresh. I know at some point with Goldberg they just try to redo the streak which started to feel like "next verse, same as the first" to me Brock is a far more versatile performer than Goldberg, TBH. Goldberg is all serious intensity all the time. Actually, it's funny that they don't like each other because he's basically like an American Bret Hart with the very serious IRL personality. Bret's actually got a great sense of humor, though. It's just very dry. I'm not sure that Goldberg has ever laughed at or cracked a joke in his life. Brock, on the other hand, has that sort of puerile frat boy sense of humor, the sense of humor of a dickhead bully who does it because it's fun, and if you smack him in the mouth because you think that'll make a bully back down, you're wrong and he'll twist your knee up behind your ear. He can pull that out of his character development arsenal when he's not being super-intense. 18 hours ago, caley said: I vaguely remember them using it but iirc it was more of a vehicle to get Stacy Keibler over than anything else I don't quite understand this sentence, and I am baffled that they might stick Stacy Keibler with El Dandy and Silver King. If I am understanding you wrong, don't correct me because I want to find out when I get there. Quote I watched a clip of Go!dberg-Nash the other day and forgot how very much Russo wanted to remind the fans that this is fake but THIS might be real! Terrible stuff. It takes two seconds of thinking to explain why all this falls apart. I'd rather Russo had just ran a WCW version of Brawl For All if he wanted to do the "this is real, but the other stuff is fake" nonsense. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted August 23 Share Posted August 23 20 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said: You know, I'm not sure I've met anyone who has genuinely loved [Ready to Rumble]! What did you love about it? it's stupid. it's silly. it doesn't take itself (or pro wrestling) too seriously. for me, it walks the line of absurdity while keeping everything *just barely* coherent. David Arquette's character really looks at pro wrestling with naivety and childlike wonder that makes the whole thing weirdly endearing. On the negative side, a LOT of the humor is juvenile, but i didn't find any of it insulting or demeaning. And i think that's what most fans took away from it- "they're making fun of me", when that's the opposite of what the movie was actually doing. is it an objectively great movie? absolutely not. but it tries to have fun, and i appreciate that. Plus, seeing all the wrestlers that randomly show up in background shots is a lot of fun. JOHN CENA is in a gym with Goldberg at one point! once again, it doesn't work in a timeline viewing with WCW TV, so i can't recommend adding it to the playlist. But it IS available free on YouTube (with ads) if you are in a jovial mood and need to kill 90 or so minutes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 23 Author Share Posted August 23 (edited) Show #212 – 1 November 1999 “The one in which Russo and Ferrara possibly reveal their racial and gender politics through the booking, and also, they are almost certainly turning Bret Hart heel again for some nonsense reason” Bret Hart hobbles into the Outsiders’s locker room and calls them “slimeballs” and “pieces of scum” for their Goldberg attack last week, and look, this obviously signals yet another Bret Hart heel turn that nobody wants, right? I’ll be stunned if he just continues to be a babyface for the next few months. Bret wants them to stay out of his business. Scott Hall is wearing a shirt that has the Wu-Tang “W” on it made out of alcohol bottles, and it says BOOZE-TANG. This isn't a Wu lyric, but it fits here, in Russo and Ferrara's WCW: One nine, nine nine, Anno Domini, anything goes! Bret Hart limps his way to the ring next. He’s doesn’t have a rep for screwin’ people, and he doesn't like that Goldberg got screwed. Not on his watch! After crapping on Sid, Nash, and Hall, the Hitman says that Goldberg should really get this U.S. Championship title belt that he's holding back. Sid’s music hits; Vicious responds by saying that ACK-SHUALLY, it should be his belt. I continue to wish that they’d have just dubbed in his “Psycho strings” WWF theme instead of whatever this is. Sid claims that the ref shouldn’t have stopped the match at Havoc, and further, that Goldberg quit during their Havoc match. Sid demands his belt back; Bret responds by saying “Screw you, Sid.” Sid: SCREW ME? YOU WANNA SAY SCREW ME?! SCREW YOUR CRIPPLED ASS! *lays the boots to Bret* Hall and Nash enter the ring as Sid prepares to powerbomb Bret. They stop him from doing so, but they also award the U.S. Championship belt to Sid. Ah, I see; they want to beat up Bret instead. They don’t, though. They just mock him. OK, so Bret is in cahoots with one or both of those guys. Tony S. points out a steel cage poised above the ring, high in the rafters, waiting to be deployed. He doesn’t have a clue why a cage is here, though. Vince Russo, that’s why. We get our first shot of the full bracket for the tournament. Wow, as dumb as some of the booking of this bracket is, it’s an actual bracket that allows me to follow what the fuck is going on in this tournament! Let’s run down the brackets: Quadrant #1: The second-round matches have been set: Bret Hart vs. Saturn; Norman Smiley vs. Billy Kidman. Quadrant #2: All second-round matches have been set here as well: The Total Package vs. Diamond Dallas Page; Meng vs. Sting. Quadrant #3: We’re in the first round here: Chris Benoit vs. Dean Malenko; Madusa (back in the tournament) vs. Evan Karagias; Scott Hall vs. Sid Vicious; The Cat vs. Lash LeRoux. Quadrant #4: First round matchups include: Buff Bagwell vs. Stevie Ray; Vampiro vs. Berlyn; Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig; Booker T. vs. Jeff Jarrett. I have to tell you, other than the Madusa foolishness, this is a decently-set bracket full of wrestlers who they actually want to push. On that note, the remaining tournament participants also include zero Latin wrestlers. Konnan and Eddy were the only ones to get into the tournament, and they both lost their first-round matchups. Rey didn’t even get into the tournament! And they all speak fluent English as one of their home languages! This tournament actually had double the number of black wrestlers that it had Latin ones! In WCW! In 1999! [Editor's note: And three of those four black wrestlers are out by the end of the first round; sorry to get all WOKE SJW, but something tells me that Vinnie Ru has an *ahem* racial preference for the guys he pushes, at least until Sonny Onoo sues WCW for discrimination and he needs a black world champ right quick.] Saturn brings Torrie to the show on the back of his rad bike. She tries to run off after Saturn parks it, but Asya grabs her before she can get very far. It’s hard to hear what they’re actually saying back there; all you need to know is that the Revolution have brought their captive to the show, along with the dopey-looking leopard-print cowboy hat that she’s wearing. Where did she get that after a week in the company of the Revolution? Is it Asya’s? Over the past two shows, they’ve left a ton of the toy commercials in these recordings. I think someone who is very petty in the company made sure to have these commercials left in so that we could contrast all the commercials targeting young children on WCW television with the content of the Russo-Ferrara Era. Recap: Speaking of, immediately after that commercial, we get Randy Savage and Gorgeous George from last week, not dressed like you’d want a WCW toy figurine for kids to be dressed, let’s say that. Almost thirteen minutes in, we get our first match. Somehow, this is an improvement on a lot of the Bischoff-era Nitros from late 1998 through his firing. Vampiro and Berlyn (w/THE WALL, BROTHER) go at it in the first round, and the Dead Pool got dropped entirely, I suppose. Remember when Vampiro was trying to recruit guys, but threateningly, and they just ignored him, and he never got anyone to join their group? I sure do. Vampiro’s gotten a lot of stop-start booking in his run. He debuted, then didn’t show up again for months; he was set for a feud with Saturn, but Saturn got diverted into something else; he started the Dead Pool, but Raven left the company and the ICP have only been on TV to get shoved around by Goldberg backstage in the last few weeks. Anyway, we’re in the era where matches don’t last very long, so there’s not all that much to say about this one except that I think these two work well together in the short time they have, and I wouldn’t mind a longer match between them. Huh, about three minutes in, here come a bunch of people in face paint, including one that looks like Darby Allin. It’s a rock group called The Misfits. I’ve seen their t-shirts before. There’s a ref bump; TW, B jumps in, but when he hits the rope, the Misfits yank the top rope down so that he tumbles to the floor and one of the Misfits nails him in the head with a chair shot. Vampiro goes up for a dive, but gets counter-dropkicked. Berlyn tries a slam near the ropes, but two Misfits trip him and hold him down as Vampiro falls on top of him for three. TW, B grabs a mic and hands it to Berlyn, who complains about the stupid United States even though a Canadian just beat him. The Outsiders sit in the back; Nash says he doesn’t have a manager’s license and can’t be at ringside for Hall’s match against Sid later tonight, but he’ll be Hall’s promoter “like the guy with the shoulder pads…[I’ll] give you a downside, whaddya think?” Hall: “Did you start smoking again?” Boy, these two must be in shoot-bang heaven, being given all this promo time in the Russo-Ferrara Era. The Revolution have Torrie locked in a cage; they wheel it to the ring as Douglas makes a lot of jokes about how kinky it is that she's caged up and talks about how they’ll treat her like a filthy animal if she wants to claim that she is one. Recap: This Filthy Animals/Revolution feud has zero heat with me. I just don’t care about any of it. Benoit vs. Malenko is more interesting, but I ultimately would prefer not to see them wrestling each other, or teaming with each other, or doing anything near each other at this point. Let’s move them onto different tracks, please. The male members of the Revolution head to the ring to talk at us, unfortunately. After Douglas rambles a bit, we get the first instance of a match type that Vince Russo fucking LOVES – an “On a Pole” match. In this case, Saturn proposes a “Cage Key on a Pole Match” to Eddy Guerrero later tonight. He promises to fuck Torrie if he gets the key. Ew. The Revolution in general sucks, man, except for Saturn. The rest of them can fuck off to Nowheresville, or maybe RAW, since I have no plans for watching through that show during the Attitude Era ever again. Malenko threatens Benoit, and Benoit gets a mic and responds. Somehow, he knew that the Revolution had a cage for Torrie and got The Powers that Be to put a cage up in advance of their world title tournament match later tonight. Ah, shit, Nash has a make-up artist turning him into Vinnie Mac so that he can go out there and do his Vinnie Vegas-level comedy act. While last week’s Mayhem Match of the Week is recapped, I wonder if these WCW Mayhem for N64 and GBC codes that they sometimes flash in the recaps still work. I wrote one down and plan to try it at some point when I pop Mayhem back into the ol’ N64. Security stops the Filthy Animals as they enter the arena and asks for their passes, so they beat him up and jack his shit. Recap: DDP vs. the Flairs. Show another wrestling match, dammit! We’re thirty minutes in and have had one five-minute-ish match! Mike Tenay interviews Kimberly as she stands backstage with the Nitro Girls behind her. Kimberly somberly updates Tenay on DDP's injuries and then quits the group (which gets a bit of a shocked, low boo from the crowd). Well, at least someone figured out that Kimberly being a babyface when she’s with the Nitro Girls and a heel otherwise is pretty dumb. The Cat (w/ladies) versus Lash LeRoux is our MAYHEM MATCH OF THE WEEK. The Cat is a funny guy with a lot of charisma who will excel in a talky promotion that has gaga-ful three-minute matches up and down the card. I look at how the Cat is dressed and think, Wow, there’s a lot of leopard print on this show. I think this is the first time that the Cat does his spot where he blocks a sunset flip, crotch chops, and punches his opponent. The Cat lands a Boogie Elbow, but trips when he runs the ropes because he’s wearing his clunky red slippers; he kayfabe reinjures his knee and LeRoux locks on a deathlock in about 45 seconds for the submission victory. Bret cuts a quick interview with Tenay in the back. He calls Sid a “big stupid dummy,” as is his way. The rest of the Nitro Girls have apparently let Spice (who’s got a little bubble going, I never noticed that, sorry for sharing this with you, but it genuinely surprised me when they showed her from the side) lead the troupe since Kimberly is gone. No, wait, it’s AC Jazz, I think, who doesn’t like that idea. Of course, BITCHES BE CRAZY in Russo’s mind. It took two seconds for this team to fall apart after Kimberly left. Because of my educational background and career, which are both female-dominated, I have perpetually had more female friends than male friends since my college days. In other words, they should let me write these shows since I actually have spent a lot of time around women who don’t destroy the harmony in their friendships at the drop of a hat. What is up with Russo’s weird ideas about women? Kidman, Eddy, and Rey try to pull a Porky’s by using the Kid Cam to catch Liz changing in TTP’s dressing room. TTP thinks he has a bye in the quarters since Page is hurt, but Liz says that TPtB are thinking about possibly replacing Page with another wrestler and then offers a sheet full of potential future tournament matchups. TTP gets the list and sort of freaks out, but then he asks Liz what she’s going to do as his manager and takes it the comedy route, asking LIZ, WELL?! LIZ, WELL?!?! over and over more quickly so that Liz shoot laughs and, uh, we get the WCW production crew ending the segment on camera? Was that supposed to be a shoot or a work or, you know what, I can’t be arsed to care, as someone from the north of England whom I used to be acquainted with would say. Tony S. updates us on Scott Steiner’s whereabouts; he's recently had back surgery. Welp, that’s it for any last shred of mobility that Scotty had in his body. We get a Scotty hype video and then a Scotty interview held by Larry Z. at Steiner’s home. Scotty talks about his decision to finally get surgery after going through multiple epidurals (ouch!). He got a few ruptured discs removed and says that he’s about three months out from returning if all goes well. This show genuinely misses him, and I think it’s pretty crazy that he is likely going to miss the whole first Russo era. You know as soon as Russo can get Scotty to safely fly, he’s getting him on television for a live promo segment or two. *sigh* AC Jazz attacks Spice during a dance routine in the ring. *sigh* Mike Tenay interviews Buff Bagwell in the back. Buff complains about how he’s being booked, *sigh*, and spoils what happens to one of the main characters at the end of Titanic. If you haven’t seen it yet, and you’re preparing to, avoid this episode of Nitro until you do. Kevin Nash teases his bad VKM impression, which is about as bad as his bad Arn Anderson impression. AC Jazz and Spice CATFIGHT (going forward, please read it in annoying-ass Joey Styles’s voice when I write it in ALL CAPS like that) in the back. Buff Bagwell faces Stevie Ray in a world title tournament match. Match number THREE on this show, and we’re an hour in including commercials. If I’d come to one of these fucking shows with all the backstage stuff going on and little in-ring action, I would feel entirely ripped off. Stevie has a mic as he comes down. He has a strap. Apparently, this is now a strap match. They talk about TPtB and following orders. It’s stupid. We don’t talk enough about how much Russo loves a random gimmick match in general, much less matches involving objects hanging from poles. Funny enough, the cage being added to Benoit/Malenko actually does make some faint sense. This match is short. Is this supposed to be a REAL fight, and TPtB sent Stevie down to kick the shit out of Buff on purpose? And if this is all fake anyway, why wouldn’t the writers, who don’t like Buff and want to job him out, just remove him from the tournament and stick him on WCWSN and Worldwide? That’s actually how this would go if they were realistically trying to bury Buff. Anyway, I’ve thought too long about this because I know Russo and Ferrara’s dumb asses are too stupid to consider it. The Harris Boys, AKA Creative Control (*sigh*) run to the ring and chase Buff away, drawing a DQ win for Bagwell. Booker comes down and helps Stevie away from ringside. Mike Tenay interviews Jeff Jarrett in the back. Slappy, the Stroke, I didn’t hit Liz, I want TTP’s public apology, I will use my pull with TPtB to get his booking all fucked if he doesn’t, etc. Kevin Nash does a bad, unfunny VKM impression in the ring. You know, putting Russo and Nash together is obviously a huge error in hindsight. Nash was headed down this road anyway! Russo just allows him to indulge in his worst instincts! There’s not even an ASSHOLE chant, but he has to pretend that there’s one so he can quip away and finally get a weak ASSHOLE chant going. Goddam, this was bad television. He brings out Scott Hall. Hall says that he’s on two strikes here in WCW, so he's not going to burn bridges like Nash is right now just in case he needs to find a new job soon. He does, however, insult McMahon’s clothes, and I did chuckle when he asks if Nash-McMahon shops at “Jacque C. Penney’s” in a faux French accent. Of course, he immediately follows with a WE GOT YOUR ATTITUDE RIGHT HERE *crotch chop* that he's sending out to the “boys up North,” so the moment is quickly ruined. I think that I prefer this sort of “lots of very bad segments that don’t go too long” format of the show to Bischoff’s “lets do one, maybe two bad segments, but they’ll go on forever” format. I still think the Tonight Show nonsense that Bischoff insisted on doing every week was the worst that WCW has ever been. TTP and Liz walk up to Meng and tell him that Jeff Jarrett was talking shit about him taking so long to finish off Madusa last week and that Jarrett was passing out bananas as he talked shit, which I thought was just a racist way to harass black soccer players in Italy and Spain, but apparently is a racist jibe against people from the Pacific Islands as well. Meng gets enraged. Curt Hennig promises to save his career and win the world title in a short pre-match interview against Mike Tenay. Disco Inferno vs. Curt Hennig is next. Larry Hennig is here and we’re in Minnesota, so Hennig beats Disco up in front of his pops. Hennig tries to get a quick win with a barrage of offense as he did last week. There’s an obligabrawl. You know how it is. After a couple of minutes, we rush to the finish: Disco blocks a PerfectPlex while some dorky kid dressed like he’s a mob underling (complete with Yankees neck pendant) comes up to the ring. Disco leaves, pleading with the guy, and gets counted out. Eddy agrees to the match with Saturn in a backstage interview. I think my reviews might eventually get somewhat shorter for Nitro because if Russo wants to book a bunch of talking to nowhere, he can have at it, but I don’t need to report or review much about it. Norman Smiley is outfitted in a baseball catcher’s outfit even though he’s from Northampton and probably should be dressed like a well-padded cricket player. Aren’t the batsmen in cricket well-padded, or am I wrong? I wonder if this poor bastard went into a sporting goods store asking about cricket equipment and had to spend half an hour explaining what he meant to some confused American salesperson. Nash-as-McMahon dreams of being one of the boys and the world champ, then drops a GET IT?! to the camera. Much like Seth MacFarlane, Russo and Nash think that if you reference something, the reference is inherently funny in and of itself. You don’t need to tell an actual joke; just drop a reference. In a triple threat hardcore match, Meng faces Norman Smiley and hey, a Barbarian (w/Jimmy Hart) sighting! Meng and Barbarian clubber while Smiley tries to pick his spots. Smiley tries a lariat and a trash can shot on Meng, but no dice. This is dumb, but Russo is very lucky that Norman Smiley is a funny dude who is good at comedy spots, so it ends up working out okay. They beat each other with plundah, with Smiley getting the brunt of the attacks, as the crowd actually chants NOR-MAN for a while in support. I said this in the previous Nitro review, but if you got or stayed over in the Russo Era, that means a lot to me about your prowess as a pro wrestler. That also goes for doing the same in the Nash Era. Smiley works an injury angle and gets stretchered out after the ref calls for a stretcher. We see more of Smiley painfully pointing to his chest than of the match. Suddenly, halfway down the aisle, Smiley spots that the Barbarian and Meng laid one another out on the TurnerTron, and he hops off the stretcher, rushes back to the ring, and pins Barbarian to win the match. Then, he hits a Big Wiggle on top of the commentary desk to a pop that was loud enough to surprise me. Huh. Hacksaw Jim Duggan wore a suit to beg for his job in front of TPtB. OK, this is unintentionally (?) hilarious. Duggan, trying to argue that even though he’s old, he still has value: “[I’ve] been wrestling for twenty years, and I’ve got more fan support than a lot of these guys out there that are doing the dropkicks.” DROPKICKS?! He thinks that the best example of crazy advanced wild MOVEZ~ are DROPKICKS?!?!? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh WOW, that’s amazing! He hits the doe eyes and is like I had cancer, you can’t fire me, please. We hear Russo's response off camera; the cold-hearted bastard doesn’t give a fuck about how many kidneys Duggan has or doesn’t have if his kidneys don’t help the ratings. Nash-McMahon is in the back dropping more Vinnie Mac quotables. Backstage, TTP tries to set an angered Meng after Jarrett. Jeff Jarrett definitely hasn’t been given his Kid Rock knockoff, which is too bad as it really fit him. I might need to cue that up right next to the Ernest Miller James Brown knockoff. Hold on. There we go, I did it and then replayed Jarrett’s entrance on mute with the theme playing on YouTube, and it just hit differently. Jarrett wants his public apology from TTP for the insinuation that Jarrett hit Liz with a guitar. TTP and Liz hit the top of the ramp to respond. Package says he’s sorry, and Jarrett says he should be because he’s not in the WWF and is not compelled to bash women with guitars anymore. TTP says he heard that Meng was behind the attack. Jarrett reacts in disbelief and calls Meng a “giant ape” who took forever to defeat a fifty-year-old Madusa. Then he says that if he were fighting Madusa, he’d show her! But non-violently, since he's not in the WWF. Meng runs down and chases Jarrett away; Package is upset that Meng didn’t beat up Jarrett, but Liz thinks that Meng is a real man because he came to the aid of a woman, unlike certain people. Then she maces him for some reason, and Package beats Meng with a pipe. I do get that Package is trying to clear his side of the bracket and make the Final Four without fighting another match, but it’s somewhat contrived – why didn’t he just jump Meng directly and dispatch with all the extra stuff? Still, I get the general idea. Nash-McMahon and Hall try to find Sid backstage, but he doesn’t answer the door to his private locker room when they knock on it. Oh yeah, Package and Sting are still friends! TTP tries to get Sting to be tag champs with him again, but Sting really only has the capacity to care about getting the world title back. Sting says he’ll do it, but he has zero fucks to give. It’s a SHARK CAGE KEY ON A POLE MATCH because Vince Russo is a moron. Anyway, let’s get through this Eddy Guerrero (w/Filthy Animals) vs. Saturn (w/The Revolution) match. Can you believe I typed “let’s get through this” about a match between Eddy and Saturn? Tony S. points out that TTP is probably trying to tag with Sting to get the Stinger out of his side of the bracket somehow. I think this more jaded Sting is smart enough to see that coming, but then again, he is Sting! Saturn forklifts the cage out here as Tony S. is vocally enthralled with Torrie's mostly-uncovered boobs before immediately saying, in a sympathetic voice, “It’s probably been a rough week for young Torrie Wilson.” These shows already have so much unintentional comedy. If it’s going to be like this for the next three months, a bunch of stuff to laugh at that I wasn’t supposed to laugh at, it’ll be bearable. The bell rings. There’s an obligabrawl. Eddy tries to get the key immediately. He fails. There’s some more brawling. It’s pretty good, honestly! These fellas will put on something watchable even in the dumbest conditions. However, Russo and Ferrara have only amplified something that was a problem in the main event: All that matters is the finish. They’ve just made it prevalent in midcard matches on top of it also being prevalent in main event matches. Anyway, they brawl some more, and then Eddy tosses Saturn into the cage, where Torrie chokes Saturn out with a rope. Poor Eddy can’t reach the key! He’s too short for it! The other Animals try to help him, but he waves them away and just leaps for it, which does the job. That was pretty funny, though whether it was a planned comedy spot or the WCW techs legit didn't help the guy out, who knows? Torrie is back with the Filthy Animals! I guess this is proof that sometimes, even when you win, you lose. Nash-McMahon and Hall talk to Sid. So, this is funny: They’re all supposed to be in on the bit, and Nash-McMahon tells Sid to trust him, which causes ‘Nam-style flashbacks in Sid’s brain and causes him to slip into Syko Sid mode: TRUST YOU?! LAST TIME I TRUSTED YOU TWO YEARS AGO, [and] MY CAREER’S BEEN IN THE SHITTER [since then]. Nash lifts his wig up to remind Sid that he’s not really Vince McMahon, and Sid touches his forehead like he’s waking up from a dream and mumbles, “I-I’m sorry. Just gonna clear [my head] for a second.” OK, that’s the first time anything from these sketches was actually funny, and it played on Sid being a total nutbar, of course. Sid really is the best. You know, there are only forty minutes of air time left, and we still have four whole world title tournament matches to go. Tenay tries to trap TTP into admitting that he's doing some shenanigans, but Package stops him by saying, “What is this, a Jim Gray/Pete Rose remake?” YouTube that one if you weren’t alive back then, readers. Or just substitute Jim Gray and Pete Rose with Bob Costas and Vince McMahon if you need something of a similar, though not exact, reference that you might have actually seen. Billy Kidman and Konnan (w/Filthy Animals) come to the ring to defend the tag titles against Sting and TTP, and they’re so pressed for time that Konnan doesn’t even get to hit his Catchphrase Roulette. TTP is hilarious, as he asks the techs and then Penzer where the hell his spotlight is. Package is a funny dude when he wants to be. So, hilariously, Package has Liz strip him while Sting beats up Konnan and Kidman in the background. OK, this is another example that explains a key element of Russo/Ferrara writing; when they try to be funny, it only works if the guys they gives the material to are charismatic and comedic enough to elevate it from mediocrity. They can’t write a goddam comedic beat that works on its own without a talented wrestler to make it work. Package fakes a knee injury so he doesn’t have to take any damage and just lets Sting do all the work. Wow, TTP is a real piece of shit, you know? Sting destroys both of the midcarders with little challenge anyway, but eventually Rey and Eddy run in and the numbers game gets to the Stinger. Konnan grabs Sting’s bat and hits him with it. I actually think TTP’s machinations are pretty good, especially because Luger’s absolutely nailing this shortcutting scumbag characterization. Sting shoves Package after the match. Friendship off! Again! Hall negotiates a Fingerpoke of Doom finish with Sid for their match later on because the former is pretty apathetic about pro wrestling. Sting stalks the back looking to fight the Filthy Animals. Booker T. faces the CHO-CHO-CHOSEN ONE Jeff Jarrett. Hmm, I wonder who will win this match? Jarrett jumps Booker from behind in the aisle as Book makes his entrance. Obligabrawl to start. Booker gets a 2.9 in there off a kick before we go back to another obligabrawl. Creative Control, who’d never miss a chance to commit violence against a black man minding his own business, come to the top of the ramp and await their chance. Booker scores another close two count, then looks like he’s headed for victory after a Book End, an axe kick, and a Spinaroonie. That’s when Creative Control hit the ring, slide Jarrett’s guitar to him, and distract Booker so that Jarrett can pop him one with the guitar for three. Goldberg cuts an interview with Mike Tenay on the Ready to Rumble set. Weirdly, though Tony S. named the movie directly at the top of the show, a graphic shows up here that says the interview happened on the set of Slam. I assume that was the code name for the movie or maybe an earlier draft title. Oh, WCW. You can’t even get the little things right. Goldberg vents about Sid and the Outsiders and promises to make all of them bleed a whole lot at some point in the future. It’s a good, intense bit of interview work! It took a single night for the Nitro Girls to split into factions. As the ladies argue in the parking lot, Nash-as-McMahon shows up to drop some more McMahonisms and wink at the camera. Tenay talks to Evan Karagias backstage; Karagias is unsure about wrestling a woman and also is very into Madusa as a potential sex partner and maybe even a more serious short- or long-term mate. Tenay talks to Madusa backstage; Madusa is irritated at TPtB and insinuates that she’s going to use whatever she’s got in her bag to manipulate this situation. Madusa and Evan Karagias have a match. Madusa? More like Sedusa! See, that’s a reference to The Powerpuff Girls, so since it’s a reference to something you might recognize, that makes it a joke, and you should be laughing right now. Madusa uses Karagias’s attraction to her to basically do whatever she wants. She is possibly the least sexy woman ever, but that’s not going to deter Karagias! They basically do a mating dance in here, and Karagias presses Madusa on top of him for three. Then, they make out. Vince Russo and Ed Ferrara, everyone! Dean Malenko faces Chris Benoit in a cage match next. Also, David Flair and his crowbar have shown up to the arena, but that’s less interesting than this Malenko/Benoit match. Benoit hits a sick powerbomb on Malenko early. I’m a bit confused as to whether this is escape rules or not because Malenko keeps scaling this thing. Maybe I missed the announcement about how you can win it from Penzer. Benoit peppers Malenko with strikes as Malenko begs off. Finally, Malenko dodges a dropkick and gets a bit of purchase in this contest. Malenko rams Benoit’s head into the cage a couple of times, then tries a Tombstone that Benoit reverses; Benoit drills Malenko with the piledriver, then calls for a diving headbutt. He goes to the top of the cage, but Malenko catches him before he gets there and hits him with a super Electric Chair drop. Saturn rushes the ring and scales the cage. He tosses a chain at Malenko, but Benoit shoves Malenko into the side of the cage, knocking Saturn off of it, and grabs the chain. He lands a chain-assisted punch and then a top-rope diving headbutt that gets a massive pop and a three count. Saturn attacks Benoit with a diving Savage Elbow off the cage after the match, and the rest of the Revolution beat the crap out of the guy after the match. They handcuff Benoit to the ropes and tee off on him. The Filthy Animals run down for the save, though Asya actually pulls a Chyna by ripping the chain keeping the cage door closed away and landing a lariat on Rey. Rey tries to get his revenge by hitting a Bronco Buster on Asya, but Dopey David Flair runs down with the crowbar and whacks all the Animals with it; then, he gets the key and uncuffs Benoit. Meanwhile, as Konnan backs up the ramp, Sting jumps him and kicks his ass. Very busy post-match segment! David Flair leaves the arena, but someone runs him down with their car in the parking lot…and it’s Kimberly who steps out of the driver’s side of the car, confiscates the crowbar, and leaves Dave lying. Hall stands over a knocked out Kevin Nash in the back. Sid comes to the ring to face Scott Hall. They replay the Fingerpoke of Doom, but when Sid leans over to pin him, Hall sneaks a small package for two. Sid dominates from there, though Hall makes a late comeback. There’s a ref bump on a Sid chokeslam of Hall that quashes the comeback, but Bret comes back out here on his crutches and cracks Sid over the back with a crutch as Sid sets Hall up for a powerbomb. Hall begs off, and Hart whiffs on a crutch shot at him. Hall scrambles away, pins Sid, gets the three, steals the U.S. Championship, and jogs back up the ramp as the show ends. I had originally written something short and flippant about this show’s quality, but I deleted it because we’re at the start of the Russo-Ferrara Era, and I want to talk a bit about this show. There is one thing that Russo and Ferrara are doing that I like, and that’s having branching feuds. One thing that I always thought was a bit silly was the idea that all these wrestlers are backstage, but they stick to one feud at a time. The heels, especially, seem like they'd naturally be constantly picking fights with a few guys at once. I thought, as busy as it was, that the post-match stuff after Benoit/Malenko was sort of interesting. The Filthy Animals have beef with The Revolution, but also pissed off the Flairs and Sting; David Flair wants to get at the Animals for obvious reasons, but has also taken on his father’s feud with DDP and Kimberly; Malenko is angry at Benoit (in my mind for the same reasons that Stevie is quick to turn on Booker), but he can’t get at him for very long because the Animals are right around the corner. When used sparingly, but effectively, weaving multiple feuds together in a match or a segment is a fantastic way to add some complexity to what is ultimately a very simple set of narrative tropes in pro wrestling. However, the shades of gray stuff for everyone's characterization doesn’t work and dampens a crowd’s ardor for their favorite wrestlers as they try to decide who to root for, and frankly, if you’re cutting down on actual wrestling so people can talk about how much they hate each other and walk around backstage with purpose more often, then I’m not going to appreciate the storyline stuff as much because storylines should be in service of wrestling matches and not vice versa. Anyway, this show was bad. -18 out of 5 Stinger Splashes. Edited August 24 by SirSmUgly 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 24 Author Share Posted August 24 Thunder Interlude – show number eighty-six – 4 November 1999 "The WCW Gang hopes that you like SHADES OF GRAY, BRO" It’s Hudson and Larry Z. at the desk for this taped edition of Thunder that we are hopefully going to enjoy together, dear reader… It’s a rare cruiserweight opener as Juventud Guerrera faces Evan Karagias…Maybe they’ll actually get to finish their match this time around…I genuinely am loath to get invested in this match because knowing WCW, they’ll want to continue the “joke” that these fellas can’t finish their match…It’s good stuff, though…Karagias has basically gotten good enough to have good matches with a superior opponent…I think he’s still got timing and spacing issues that pop up from time to time, but he’s alright…I do think he’s better as the powerful base for the fliers, though, or at least as a guy doing more power moves than flying moves…In this match, he hits a nice power slam and a sweet press slam…He also whiffs on a picture-perfect Asai moonsault, so he's having a good night in general executing MOVEZ… Yeah, we get another interruption…This time, it’s Screamin’ Norman Smiley…Smiley is from England, so he learned a bit of working Spanish since they're right across a small body of water and he probably likes his vacations holidays to Mallorca or what-have-you…Smiley announces that he’s the patriarch of the returning hardcore division…I didn’t realize before this watch-through that WCW did a stop-start half-assed deal with their hardcore division…Smiley promises a Hardcore Wiggle for everyone…This time, the cruisers attack Norman, who screams…He is able to dodge a double attack, and Juvi and Karagias dropkick one another…Norman wiggles, then leaves…What if we just let Karagias and Juvi have a good eight-minute match instead?...What if, indeed?... They need to mic these Revolution backstage discussions better…I think the long and short of it is that they’re open to recruiting for a new member… Mike Graham’s getting a lot more burn on these shows…He walks up to Sid backstage and tells the guy that his booking has changed…Poor Sid has a hangdog look on his face as he hears he has to tag up with Saturn (“naw, no, no, no”) against Rick Steiner and Chris Benoit (“the DFG is my buddy!”)…I sort of feel bad for Sid after seeing that segment… We come back to the arena and Hudson is like I WOULDN’T WANNA BE MIKE GRAHAM, but Sid was civil to Graham and just came off as disappointed…He didn’t harass Graham about what his bosses decided to do. He even called Rick Steiner his buddy, which is actually sort of charming (especially for a heel)…The funny thing about Sid is that whenever he’s shown talking to work-a-day dudes backstage, he’s a pretty calm guy!...I reiterate that Sid should have turned babyface a Nitro ago. Booker T. (w/Stevie Ray) heads to the ring for a bout against Kaz Hayashi….This is an interesting matchup, but we’re squarely in the Russo-Ferrara Era, or the RFE as I’m going to call it going forward to save a few keystrokes…I doubt this gets enough time to be a good television match…Booker breaks in the corner and grins like he knows he has an advantage…Booker leverages his size and power early…He hits a nice snap powerslam, but Kaz is able to roll away from a follow-up elbowdrop…Hayashi opens up with kicks and chops, but they just wake Booker up… Kaz runs with Book and wins out, a rare experience for Booker…He fakes a dive after Booker bails to the floor and is able to deke his way into scoring an actual dive…Stevie attacks Kaz when Booker gets sent back into the ring…Booker draws the ref’s attention while it happens even though he's a babyface…SHADES OF GRAY, BRO…Booker takes the advantage and lands a Book End and a spinebuster…He goes up top and drills a missile dropkick for three…See, I was right…Give it five or six more minutes and excise the Stevie cheating spot, and it would have been a very good TV match… The Filthy Animals run up on Doug Dellinger and distract him so that Konnan can pick his pocket and run through his wallet even though they're ostensible babyfaces, I think, still, maybe?...I mean, I think that IRL garbage human being Dellinger getting robbed is funny, but I don't think that's really in line with his presentation as a hapless, but hardworking security head on this show...SHADES OF GRAY, BRO…Anyway, that’s it, that’s the sketch… Rick Steiner interviews with Gene Okerlund in the locker rooms…Steiner is not happy about TPtB and their wonked-out booking, but he plans to stand tall alongside his buddy Sid at the end of the match… The story here, by the way, is that the TPtB are specifically booking matches around discordant tag partners because they think the drama will lead to people tuning in to see more of it…That’s a good shell of an idea for tyrannical heel on-screen characters, as opposed to the typical “executive wants to push his chosen champion over the popular babyface” deal…But the execution will be lacking… The Filthy Animals come to the ring…Eddy Guerrero faces Coach Buzz Stern (w/Luther Biggs)…It’s funny to me that Ray Lloyd got two WCW gimmicks that debuted as a time where there was a clear shift in the programming that made each of those gimmicks immediately outdated (or in the case of the Coach, even more outdated than it was when it already debuted)…He’s not any good as a wrestler, but that’s still rotten luck on top of it…This is pretty much a nothing match in which the Animals use their numbers to liberally cheat…Kidman hits a Sky High to set Stern up for a Frog Splash from Eddy that gets three…Biggs gets in Eddy’s face after the match and they kick his ass after doing the old shove-backwards-and-trip prank…Rey tapes it as they stomp everyone out…Hudson calls for the Revolution – the heels, mind you – to come out here and stop these nefarious Filthy Animals…SHADES OF GRAY, BRO… TPtB have given Curly Bill and Berlyn a tag title shot later tonight…They interview with Okerlund in the locker rooms…Berlyn raises a good point when he says, “Anyone from Texas shouldn’t be allowed to talk in the first place”…There are certainly some Texans whom I’d put on an exempt list, but basically, Berlyn’s got a good idea for an amendment to the World Constitution that I will be writing when I am made Supreme Leader of the Planet Earth... Recap: The rest of the first round of the WCW World Championship Tournament was completed on the previous Nitro…The results will SHOCK YOU, BRO!... Review: Sid has not been friendly with the Revolution in the past…How will they function now?!...How, indeed?!?!?... The Revolution tries to remonstrate with Sid backstage, but he’s disinterested in showing a unified front with Saturn against their tag opponents later tonight… Gene Okerlund interviews La Parka about his return match against Buff Bagwell later tonight…He cuts a promo, but TPtB “hilariously” subtitles it with references to He-Man and Skeletor…Fuck off, WCW… Here’s Buff Bagwell right now, looking bummed that TPtB wants him to job again…Larry Z. does his best to get this stupid-ass angle over…“[Buff] thought he’d be something special without earning it”…I complain about Larry Z. a whole lot, but when he’s focused on selling this stuff and not so focused on his golf game, he spits gems…Anyway, I don’t care about this match against La Parka because I’ve been informed that it doesn’t matter one bit…After posing and dancing and a few moves, Buff lands a Blockbuster for three, then tells the camera that he still ain’t doing a damn job… Gene Okerlund talks to the Filthy Animals in the back…Specifically, he talks to Konnan and Kidman about their upcoming tag match…Kidman did make me chuckle when addressing their opponents…“I want to know who the brainiacs are that put these two morons together”…Konnan sarcastically calls the idea to put together their opposition for tonight “money,” then threatens the Revolution and lets them know that their beef isn’t over just because Torrie is back in the fold… Alright, here we are…Kidman and Konnan (w/Torrie Wilson and Rey Misterio Jr.) face Berlyn and Curly Bill (w/THE WALL, BROTHER)…They do some bad pre-match mic work…Kidman and Konnan point out the fucking joke (that Curly Bill is doing a bad Cleavon Little-in-Blazing Saddles impression) before the match…We get it already!...We’ve all seen the movie at least once and heard some dude say They could never make this movie today; they’d be cancelled if they tried at least twenty times!...This match is fine, but I’m irritated now…All this pre-match jibber-jabber talky-talk sucks…Kidman and Berlyn work the bulk of the match and, unsurprisingly, do a good job of it…Curly Bill has one good move; his arm breaker...Berlyn and TW,B walk out on the match, but not before TW,B punches Bill in the head for no good reason…Konnan wins it with a Tequila Sunrise while Eddy, who came out here at some point, uses the Kid Cam to shoot it…It’s remarkable, but this Filthy Animals thing has made me sort of hate Eddy and Rey…What an accursed stable… Lash LeRoux talks to Gene Okerlund in the back…They talk about Disco Inferno…It bores me…The point is that Lash wants the Cruiserweight Championship… Gene Okerlund thinks that Van Hammer is the guy whom the Revolution wants to add…Hammer confirms that he’ll be their next addition to the group…Yeah, whatever, Private Stash…Imagine being excited to join the Revolution and eventually ending up in a stable that’s somehow even worse than that one… Lash LeRoux wrestles Silver King next…This is a short match that has glimmers of something better if it got more time…Alas, Silver King, a guy who can work and has a lot of personality in the ring, eats a Bourbon Street Blues, rolls outside and has a brief obligabrawl, then re-enters the ring and falls to a Whiplash that gets three…It’s too bad because King worked hard and flashed a bunch of fun offense…Why not do the Los Fabulosos thing and give he and Dandy a bit of a push?...They can get over with their work…Have Jimmy Hart manage them if you need someone to talk for them… There’s too much stuff in these shows…I don’t recall even the WWF shows from this time failing to give me at least a little room to breathe sometimes…That’s VKM knowing that sometimes, I just want to sit with whatever is happening in the moment, just for a second or two at least…These Russo shows have way the fuck too much going on…I’m careening from a match to a backstage interview to a guy walking to a backstage attack to an in-ring interview to another backstage interview to a match that’s not really a match because it’s interrupted by a guy who wants to talk some more…I think reading that previous run-on sentence illustrates exactly how it feels to watch these shows... Chris Benoit does a blip of an interview with Okerlund about tonight’s main event in which he threatens violence toward everyone, even Dean Malenko, who isn't in the match… Dean Malenko faces Van Hammer in what is apparently a try-out match for Hammer’s entry into the Revolution…Hammer thinks he’s Montel Vontavious Porter when he gets the mic before this match…Or Raven debuting in WCW, I guess…He’s all like YOU NEED ME, WE BOTH KNOW IT…The Revolution is annoyed…Hammer says he’ll also fight his way in by “kicking [Malenko’s] vertically-challenged ass right now”…Malenko immediately beats the fuck out of Hammer…Malenko targets the knee, so Hammer struggles to follow up on a counter powerslam…Hammer tries a struggle corner charge and gets badly punished…Saturn gets involved from the outside…Hammer tries one more comeback, but Malenko induces a ref bump so that Saturn and Asya can stop Hammer from landing a Cobra Clutch Slam…Malenko wins it with the Texas Cloverleaf…This proud Van Hammer Truther (he was actually a solid worker by the late '90s, dammit!) would like you to know that Hammer did a fine job selling the leg and timing his comebacks…Anyway, the Revolution kicks Hammer’s ass after the match… Recap: The Powers that Be are doing stuff…Madusa is getting a push in 1999 for some insane reason that I can’t possibly understand…So are the fucking Harris Twins…The RFE is baffling…Anyway, this is what happens when you let a guy who genuinely wants to unlock the gimmick/character potential of every midcarder* just go completely off with his gimmick ideas without any oversight… *who speaks English as their home language There’s a random eight-man battle royale between a bunch of midcarders…The winner gets an opportunity of some sort on Nitro…The losers are probably getting kayfabe and/or shoot fired…Scotty Riggs probably isn’t long for this show…Chris Adams, definitely…Jerry Flynn must be coming to the end of his run, right?…El Dandy is probably legit in danger…Regal turns right back around and goes up North again soon…I’m picking Iaukea as the winner because I know he does a Prince gimmick in WCW soon…Though Chavo Jr. is also out here, and he makes it to the end of this whole company…Here are the eliminations in order: El Dandy, Chris Adams, Scotty Riggs, Jerry Flynn, Prince Iaukea, David Taylor, and finally, Steven Regal…Chavo Jr.’s the winner…Put the Cruiserweight Championship on him, you fuckwad idiots Russo and Ferrara… Sid and Rick Steiner plot in the back…They plan another Fingerpoke of Doom…Sid wants Rick to take the fall, but Rick's not into it…Remember how sick we all got of VKM re-doing the Montreal Screwjob over and over to less and less effect?...WCW did that same thing with the fucking Fingerpoke of Doom in 1999…Oh, WCW… Why the heck were we all in a rush to take the TV title back off Benoit and put it back on Rick Steiner?...Hudson laments what Steiner did to him back on Nitro a few months ago (Show #200)…Anyway, this tag match starts, and Steiner tries to small package Sid after Sid pokes him, just like Scott Hall did on Nitro…Sid is irritated and powerbombs his former close buddy, then walks out…SHADES OF GRAY, BRO…Saturn and Benoit face off next…Benoit and Steiner have the man advantage, but after he snot rockets at Steiner, Steiner clobbers him, belly-to-belly suplexes Saturn, and leaves…So this is now a singles match…Benoit, who dominated Saturn before Steiner jumped him, goes back to dominating Saturn…He lands the rolling triple Germans and a diving headbutt, which is when the Revolution runs into the ring…The Filthy Animals soon follow…It’s a veritable donnybrook!...That I don’t care about, mind you, but still!... Stuff happened, none of it mattered, SHADES OF GRAY, BRO…It’s an OWWWW, and the first of many in the RFE… 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 24 Share Posted August 24 23 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Bret responds by saying “Screw you, Sid.” Sid: SCREW ME? YOU WANNA SAY SCREW ME?! SCREW YOUR CRIPPLED ASS! *lays the boots to Bret* This reminds me of one of my favourite Sid'isms (No not the "I have half the mind that you do!" one), but on that great Monday Night Raw that basically kicked off the Attitude era (Bret has a cage match against Sid for the world title a week before WM; Austin, Hart's WM opponent, interferes liberally to HELP Bret because doing so would make their WM match a World Title match where Sid's WM opponent the Undertaker comes down to help him to preserve their title match; it's this rare incident of completely logical booking and motivation that you don't see too often) where after the match Bret accuses everyone of screwing him, says that everyone know he's the real champ even Sid, and Sid comes out and gets caught on the microphone yelling "I don't know shit, Bret!" 23 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: David Flair leaves the arena, but someone runs him down with their car in the parking lot…and it’s Kimberly who steps out of the driver’s side of the car, confiscates the crowbar, and leaves Dave lying. It says something about this era that a guy gets hit by a car and I don't remember even a glimmer of it. 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: IRL garbage human being Dellinger Is he? I know nothing of this! 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: These Russo shows have way the fuck too much going on…I’m careening from a match to a backstage interview to a guy walking to a backstage attack to an in-ring interview to another backstage interview to a match that’s not really a match because it’s interrupted by a guy who wants to talk some more This reminds me of when Nitro came to our little town (I'm still baffled how/why that happened...we got a Smackdown a few years later too, then nothing for the last 15-20 years...) and the show started with a Vince Russo promo where he berated the crowd and talked about "Your hero Goldberg!" and my friend (Who watched wrestling but not as religiously as I did) looked at me and said "Wait, are we supposed to like him again?!" and I was baffled as I'd read the PPV results from the night before and he seemed to have turned heel. 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: Hammer says he’ll also fight his way in by “kicking [Malenko’s] vertically-challenged ass right now” I wonder if this was a little inside-joke on Hammer as Mick Foley said in his book that Hammer was a nice guy but was a "natural heat magnet" with the other wrestlers by making comments like "I came here to save this company" Also next time I have a job interview, I'm going to use this quote 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: ecap: The Powers that Be are doing stuff…Madusa is getting a push in 1999 for some insane reason that I can’t possibly understand…So are the fucking Harris Twins…The RFE is baffling…Anyway, this is what happens when you let a guy who genuinely wants to unlock the gimmick/character potential of every midcarder* just go completely off with his gimmick ideas without any oversight… Serious question here: Were the Harris Twins ever over?! I was watching some random ECW shows a while back and they were hyping up Tommy Dreamer (or some other naive babyface) having back-up and he brought out the Harrises and the crowd was rather mild like "Oh, were they gone?" and then they turned on him and the crowd remained rather non-plussed and I think about all the places they wrestled and how high up the card they have ended up (I think one ends up in a world title 3-way at some point next year...just to warn you) and how no one ever really seems to care one way or the other. 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: Sid and Rick Steiner plot in the back…They plan another Fingerpoke of Doom…Sid wants Rick to take the fall, but Rick's not into it…Remember how sick we all got of VKM re-doing the Montreal Screwjob over and over to less and less effect?...WCW did that same thing with the fucking Fingerpoke of Doom in 1999…Oh, WCW… I feel like there's at least one Montreal Screwjob ending coming up in WCW under Russo, as well, isnt there? Or maybe that was Vinnie Ru bringing it back in TNA? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 4 hours ago, caley said: Serious question here: Were the Harris Twins ever over?! the only time i ever thought they were major players was fairly early in ECW as the Bruise Brothers, and they just kicked the shit out of people. i don't think the run lasted long (edit: i looked it up. this was the run in '94 and was only about 3 months). Their WWF runs as the Blu Brothers, the Grimm Twins, and DOA were all mediocre. I don't remember their 2nd ECW stint. This late WCW run sucked. Their short TNA run sucked. i can't find it on YouTube, but there was a match on the 11/12/94 WCW Worldwide show that was Hogan & Sting vs. the Bruise Brothers. i remember thinking it might be interesting, given their history and futures, but the match lasts like a minute. what a joke. THAT is my real lasting memory of these guys. Well, that and the racism and nazism. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 Inspired by this thread I listen to Buffoon Bagwell's interview with Brian Solomon apparently Buff and Sting where the two longed continuedly tenured WCW wrestlers in the companies history 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 25 Author Share Posted August 25 21 hours ago, caley said: This reminds me of one of my favourite Sid'isms (No not the "I have half the mind that you do!" one), but on that great Monday Night Raw that basically kicked off the Attitude era (Bret has a cage match against Sid for the world title a week before WM; Austin, Hart's WM opponent, interferes liberally to HELP Bret because doing so would make their WM match a World Title match where Sid's WM opponent the Undertaker comes down to help him to preserve their title match; it's this rare incident of completely logical booking and motivation that you don't see too often) where after the match Bret accuses everyone of screwing him, says that everyone know he's the real champ even Sid, and Sid comes out and gets caught on the microphone yelling "I don't know shit, Bret!" That was great, and actually I don't think Bret or Sid get enough credit for being awesome in general at the very start of the Attitude Era. Quote Is he? I know nothing of this! https://casetext.com/brief/reeves-v-world-championship-et-al_response Dellinger is mentioned many times in this racial discrimination lawsuit and might have been also quoted in another one. Bixenspan, among others (and as is alleged in this lawsuit) has noted that Dellinger would make the young black fans pay to get a chance at an autograph from the wrestlers, but not any of the *ahem* lighter-complexioned fans. Quote I feel like there's at least one Montreal Screwjob ending coming up in WCW under Russo, as well, isnt there? I'm sure there is! Quote Or maybe that was Vinnie Ru bringing it back in TNA? I'm also sure he did in TNA, too! 16 hours ago, twiztor said: the only time i ever thought they were major players was fairly early in ECW as the Bruise Brothers, and they just kicked the shit out of people. i don't think the run lasted long (edit: i looked it up. this was the run in '94 and was only about 3 months). Their WWF runs as the Blu Brothers, the Grimm Twins, and DOA were all mediocre. I don't remember their 2nd ECW stint. This late WCW run sucked. Their short TNA run sucked. They seem like good hands who work light more than anything when it comes to the pro wrestling abilities. That has value, even if they're boring dudes who bring nothing else to the table. 8 hours ago, zendragon said: Inspired by this thread I listen to Buffoon Bagwell's interview with Brian Solomon Is this auto-complete, or did you do this on purpose? Either way, I am stealing this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 It's one of my favorite old timey words that really needs to come back into modern usage (along with rube and ballyhoo) The harris bors. where large identical twins... that was enough to take them as far a they went in pro wrestling 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 2 hours ago, zendragon said: The harris bors. where large identical twins... that was enough to take them as far a they went in pro wrestling Kinda tells you how bad the Shane Twins must have been to not go further than they did. Of course, wrestling as penises can shorten your careers 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 25 Share Posted August 25 3 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Dellinger is mentioned many times in this racial discrimination lawsuit and might have been also quoted in another one. Bixenspan, among others (and as is alleged in this lawsuit) has noted that Dellinger would make the young black fans pay to get a chance at an autograph from the wrestlers, but not any of the *ahem* lighter-complexioned fans. Ah, I had never heard this! I knew he was incompetent (I think Bret Hart made an allegation that he'd had a jacket stolen because Delliinger fell asleep on the job) and that he used to be a cop (Though that might go hand in hand with the above allegations...) but never that other part! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 25 Author Share Posted August 25 Show #213 – 8 November 1999 “The one that blends Halloween Ends with the Chevy Chase Show and a healthy dose of WWF Attitude Era RAW to a deleterious effect” I think I know who wins this world title tournament. It came to me out of nowhere while I was not even thinking about pro wrestling at all. In the Malcolm in the Middle opening credits, there’s a blip in which the Hitman twists Chris Benoit into a Sharpshooter. I am pretty certain that happens at Mayhem, and that Bret wins the whole shebang. It had to be in the finals if I’m right because Bret and Benoit are on opposite sides of the bracket. Let’s see if I’m right. Oh yeah, also, uh, let’s Nitro. Sid threatens a tech guy in the back. And he’s usually so well-behaved with random WCW employees! Sid gives the guy a tape and says that he’ll cue when it needs to be played, and it had better be played at the cue. Sid heads to the ring after the Nitro opening sequence and talks. Obviously, that's how we start the show. You know who’s in charge of this show’s creative direction. Sid says that he’s not as dumb as he looks. I don’t know that Sid particularly looks dumb, but okay. He seems like he might be a pretty canny operator. Sid threatens the Outsiders for screwing him over last week, then turns his attention to proving that he never actually lost to Goldberg at Halloween Havoc. Cue the tape! That lazy fuck Sid couldn’t even edit in someone saying I QUIT over the top of Goldberg clearly not saying it at all while planning to punch Sid some more. D-minus, Sid; next time, put in some effort, or it’s summer school for you! The Outsiders come out here on the ramp. They are fucking ANNOYING at this point. Hall brings the U.S. title belt with him. They get in the ring and basically troll Sid to a crowd pop. Hall name drops the Clique and illustrates surprise that Sid would ever think that a Clique member would lay down for him. Sid wants to fight, but Nash tries to calm him down by pointing out that Bret Hart, who is so obviously in cahoots with these guys that I’m assuming that I’ll get double-swerved, and he’s actually not in cahoots with them, was the one who hit him with the crutch. Bret Hart strolls out to the top of the ramp and calls everyone in the ring “three big pussies” because the Hitman can be edgy too, but it's not nearly as fun as him calling everything BULLSHIT in 1997. Hart reiterates that he thinks Goldberg is the rightful champ, and says that he’ll reclaim the strap and hand it over to Goldberg. Hall challenges the Hitman to a match as Bret walks down here with no crutches or walking boot even though he had a hairline fracture, supposedly. Goldberg jumps out of the crowd from the other side; the Outsiders bail, but Goldberg spears an inattentive Sid. Sid just keeps getting himself into situations where he gets his ass kicked to the point that I feel bad for that **Stevie Ray voice** sad-sack fruit booty. Goldberg cuts an okay-ish promo in which he challenges Sid to an I Quit Match, probably at Mayhem. The truck hits Goldberg’s music too early because he’s still out here threatening the Outsiders with injury. Everyone’s talking about pussies and “having balls” and I think Russo’s just stroking one out with excitement somewhere in the back. Tonight’s world title tournament matchups in quadrants one and two as we start the second round: Quadrant #1: Bret Hart vs. Saturn; Norman Smiley vs. Billy Kidman. Quadrant #2: The Total Package vs. Sting in the quarterfinals as DDP and Meng are out of the tournament with injuries, so TTP and Sting got byes through the second round. Quadrant #3: Buff Bagwell vs. Vampiro; Curt Hennig vs. Jeff Jarrett (I think this used to be Quadrant #4, and they flipped the order of the brackets on the right side, but I’m not going back to find out) Weirdly, Tony S. also promotes a Sting/Goldberg match for later in the show, maybe? I don’t know what the fuck. Mike Tenay interviews Sting in the back. Sting and TTP are feuding again. Sting quotes Desi Arnaz-as-Ricky Ricardo in this promo, in case you wondered how his side of the interview was going. Liz sneaks TTP into the building. Recap: Kimberly Page hits David Flair with her car. You can hear a kid yelling HIT ‘EM, HIT ‘EM in the back. Haha! Pre-taped segment: Kimberly arrives at the arena before the show begins and tries to get Doug Dellinger to help her head David Flair off the pass. Dellinger calls for extra security for her. Hall and Nash jabber on in the back. Nash claims to have earned his manager’s license. Konnan is yapping when we finally get back to the ring; he’s with the Filthy Animals. He cracks me up because he’s wearing a fuzzy bucket hat, and he does this: “Torrie, you like this fuzzy hat? FEEL. **Torrie rubs his hat, Konnan pushes her away after three seconds**, THAT’S ENOUGH!” Funny as fuck. Anyway, Eddy and Rey do some shitty mic work. Dean Malenko and Asya appear at the top of the ramp; Malenko responds. It’s boring. Russo is going to try and get Asya over as a proper Chyna replacement rather than having her stumble around ineffectually like she did as Ric Flair’s third. The short of it is that Rey Misterio Jr. and Torrie Wilson will face Dean Malenko and Asya later tonight. Screamin’ Norman Smiley, geared up in hockey padding, comes to the ring for his second-round world title matchup with Billy Kidman, which explains why the Filthy Animals are out here. There’s way too much going on right now, so let me stop to make three points that all sort of happen in the space of fifteen or twenty seconds: First, Tony S. notes that Smiley demanded that this be a hardcore match, which is a hell of a thing to ask for when your opponent runs with about seventy-two other people and you run by yourself. Second, Tony S. notes that TPtB have ordered a four-man ladder match for the U.S. Championship between Sid, Scott Hall, Bret Hart, and Goldberg. This means that at least three of these participants are wrestling later tonight, and maybe Hall, too, if they run his quadrant’s second-round matches; they didn’t show his quadrant in the opening recap of the bracket and rundown of tonight's show, but if they do run those matches, I’ll discuss that quadrant's bracket when they either show it on screen for the first time, or when the first match from that quadrant happens on this show. Also, that four-way ladder match should be on PPV, right? Even in 1999, that should be a PPV match, not a TV match. Third, Brian Knobbs and Jimmy Hart come to the ring, ostensibly upset at the idea that Smiley thinks he’s the new King of Hardcore in WCW. Knobbs joins the commentary table. Whew! Too damn much gping on! I genuinely wonder about Russo’s brain, and I suppose Ferrara’s, too. How do they lay out a show this busy and manage not getting annoyed or confused by the busyness of the show themselves? As for the match, Kidman spanks Smiley’s padded ass early, so that’s how this one is going. Smiley gets Kidman into wheelbarrow position, smacks his ass back, and hits him with a facebuster; then, he hits a Big Wiggle to a pop and thrusts his junk at Konnan. Soon after, Smiley tumbles outside and Knobbs grabs Smiley’s hockey stick and breaks it over his back while Eddy applauds. Knobbs tosses Smiley back in the ring, and Kidman covers for three in about a minute, maybe ninety seconds. What a tournament, folks! Sting is looking for TTP backstage, but Package is hiding. Well, you keep calling for FLEXY LEXY, and we all know that he doesn’t answer to that name anymore! We cut to TTP and Liz having a quiet conversation near an open dryer. Then, we cut again to David Flair walking into the arena and caressing a crowbar like it’s Torrie Wilson. So yeah, some stuff is happening. A WCW seamstress (seams-person?) helps dress Nash up like Carnac the Magnificent. Hall chases after some security dudes who have walked by, ostensibly there to find and protect Kimberly, I’d guess. Sting walks to the ring for that match against Goldberg that I mentioned earlier. No, wait, maybe he’s just here to talk. He demands that The Total Package come out and have a little confrontation with him and either threatens to fight or fuck him if he doesn’t appear. Take it either way. Liz comes out alone and almost gets tripped by that fucking ramp. Fuck you, WCW ramp. Liz tries to apologize in Package’s stead, but Sting’s face says that he doesn’t buy it. Sting gives her a little half hug that is creepy, and it’s meant to be, and she’s creeped out. Sting notes that Liz has a tan and toned arms like TTP, so she’s basically like the female TTP. Then, he suggests that maybe she should call her dopey male counterpart out here post-haste in what was a surreptitious threat to commit violence against her person as he plans to commit it against his suburbanite Chicago-area friend. Finally, TTP makes his way to the ring. Some guy is hyped to yell LUGER, YOU SUUUUUUCK, and Package is indeed garnering some solid heel heat. I like that Package is wearing a Pacers hoodie to disingenuously score points with the fans, but it’s not working. Package: “Can you believe these people?” Package asks Sting to mend fences. Crowd: LUGER SUCKS. Package wants to hug it out, and Sting comes in for a hug and ends up choking TTP in the corner. Sting: IF YOU EVER SWERVE ME AGAIN, I’LL GETCHA, I’LL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT NEXT TIME. If only he’d done that to Ric Flair a few years ago. In what comes off as a somewhat tasteless segment, Kimberly takes her jacket off and sits down in the back; the lights go out and David Flair threatens her while she vocally freaks out. I think the way it was shot, which had some implied voyeurism to the proceedings since it shot her from the ground up as she sat down in her slinky clothing, is what made me feel that way about it. Chris Benoit faces Madusa in another world title tournament match. This means that the fourth quadrant’s second-round matches are also a go for this show, so let’s recap them here: Quadrant #4: Chris Benoit vs. Madusa; Scott Hall vs. Lash LeRoux (again, I think this used to be Quadrant #3, but they flipped the right side of the bracket between last Nitro and this one). Anyway, let’s watch Chris Benoit commit violence against a woman! Yay! Benoit actually sells a bit for some of her kicks, does a standing switch or two with her, and even flips for her slow-as-molasses rana that gets two before bullying her with a chop. Evan Karagias runs down and yanks Johnny Boone out of the ring to complain about Benoit’s rough treatment of his lady. They end up brawling as Jeff Jarrett slides into the ring and confronts Benoit. They strike one another, and Boone, done brawling with Karagias, slides back in the ring and calls a DQ win for Benoit. Jarrett gets a mic and tells Madusa that since this isn’t the WWF, he won’t kick her ass, but he did have fun screwing her out of her tournament spot by getting her DQ’d. Oooooooookay?! Chavo Guerrero Jr. meets with Russo in the back to hear about the opportunity he’s won for defeating seven other lower-midcarders in last Thunder’s battle royal. The opportunity is to be an Amway salesman. That’s like selling Herbalife for a living, just as an analogy for you younger readers. I guess Chavo Jr. is also “fired.” I’m actually curious if any of those other six guys (I’m not including Iaukea, since I know he sticks around in a new gimmick) ever showed up on WCW television again. Wait, Regal definitely does, but in a specific instance at the very end of this watch-through. You know what I mean if you've seen it. Hacksaw Jim Duggan’s also got a new opportunity; he’s the personal custodial expert for TPtB. He scrubs a toilet, and somehow, that’s still too much TV time for him in 1999. Disco Inferno is wrestling Rick Steiner (on jobber entrance); this is a TV title match. Steiner kicks the shit out of Disco while the mobster kid from last week shows up with a bucket and gets on commentary. That kid might be the same kid who was the over-excited Lodi fan a few weeks back. I’m not sure, but it looks like him. Anyway, this fucking kid does an annoying commentary job in which he demands his money from Disco. Tony Marinara is the kid’s name, and he had concrete in that bucket as a threat to Disco; Steiner grabs the bucket and hits Disco with it, then lands a release German in the ring for three. Good to see that the Cruiserweight Championship is so well-protected as an important part of this show! Fucking Russo and Ferrara. Sting preps for his match with Goldberg; Goldberg preps for his match with Sting. Hall talks to these riot cops who I think were supposed to be for Kimberly when Nash walks in dressed not as Carnac, but as the Grand Wizard. I’m sure the Harris Boys – oops, Creative Control, I mean – got excited when they heard the Grand Wizard was in the building, but then were summarily disappointed when “of wrestling” was tacked on to the end of that title. Nash does a Grand Wizard impression that I think approximately 0.02% of WCW wrestling fans would get. What late ‘90s WCW fans were also well-versed in ‘70s WWF outside of DVDVR or the Observer boards? All the Nitro Girls contest finalists are in the ring; they do a dance. You’ll say that this is mere hindsight, but Stacy Keibler stands out as if she's the most obvious winner of any contest in the history of contests. She’s basically Real Madrid in Champions League when it comes to this contest. AC Jazz jumps in the ring and robotically rants, calling the contestants “skanks.” There are legitimately solid talkers in the group – Sharmell and Spice being the two most obvious. If Whisper were still around (she’s the one who is being replaced), you could probably get a decent performance out of her, too. But AC Jazz is terrible at this. Why pick her? She’s probably the least charismatic of the Nitro Girls, either her or Fyre. Spice comes down here, takes AC Jazz’s mic away, and actually has the talent to talk a little bit. This is pointless and stupid. They call each other “bitch” and “ho” and have a CATFIGHT and do the sorts of things that Russo thinks women routinely do. I mean, I’m not saying it never happens. I’ve seen women do exactly this to one another – the last time while walking past an Olive Garden parking lot in Yakima – but still! It’s not routine! There doesn’t need to be discord between every group of women in the company! This was just a fun dance troupe! The other Nitro Girls break it up while Tony S. yells IT’S A NITRO GIRL PULL-APART, which is way less punchy than CATFIGHT, in my opinion. So, these dopes Russo and Ferrara decided that they wanted to shoot a slasher film; as a result, we get Kimberly hiding behind a beam in a boiler room, freaking out while Davey Flair stalks her in the background. She’s got a crowbar of her own, or maybe she got David’s crowbar and hit him with it since Dave seems to be limping. She drops it, then picks it up and takes off while Dave limps after her. Seven floats to the ring. They get flame machines and a smoke machine and a zip line or whatever just to do this stupid entrance once and only once. I’m sort of glad to see Dustin Rhodes back in WCW, though, as I think he’s a pretty good hand and fun worker once Bischoff and Russo finally have nothing more to do with this product. Rhodes gets a mic, says he hates this gimmick, declares that GOLDUST SUCKED, and that he wanted to just be himself, except that TPtB think that he sucks and is boring. He decries being “dressed…up like Uncle Fester to play trick or treat all year.” He says that TPtB can shove all these dumb gimmicks up their asses and then kiss his ass. He says that his pops, good ol’ Dusty, called him and said that he was fired by TPtB. He's upset that TPtB treated pops “like a piece of shit” and vows revenge against them. I think he's SHOOTIN’, fellas! Anyway, he ends by modifying his Goldust catchphrase, and then we have to quickly switch away… …to Sting walking… …and to David Flair stalking Kimberly in a dark room. Wizard Nash and Hall try to get into Sid’s locker room backstage. Liz and TTP talk about how Package can make things up to Sting; Package gets an idea and rushes off. Sting comes to the ring to wrestle Goldberg. Goldberg’s entrance from his locker room all the way to the ring is longer than most of the matches on this show. It might be longer than this match, actually. Goldberg lands some strikes; Sting locks on a sleeper. TTP and Liz come down and Sting runs Goldberg into the ref as the ref confronts them. Liz tries to mace Sting, but I think she and Package are on the wrong side of the ring for the spot, and so is Sting, so Sting awkwardly moves Goldberg to the other side of the ring. Package causes the mace to hit Sting, and Sting staggers away and is hit with a spear and Jackhammer for three. The one spot that was the centerpiece of this two-minute match was so badly executed that this is going on the Dirt Worst list. Nash does some bad comedy and then offers the security guys to Sid for protection as a make-good for helping oust him from the title tournament the previous week. Rick Steiner barges in and wants to talk out his problems with Sid, but Sid blows him off. Package and Liz almost slip because Duggan is mopping the floor backstage; TTP helpfully tells Duggan that he missed a spot. Package gets an idea and takes one of the CAUTION – FLOOR SLIPPERY cones that Duggan is using with him. Kimberly runs up to a security guy and screams for help, but the security guy turns around and WHOA, it’s David Flair, he’s like Michael Myers without charisma or an iconic look! Vampiro cuts a Raven-lite promo while standing with the Misfits; he threatens Buff Bagwell. They show a couple of quadrant brackets for the world title tournament, but not the quadrant bracket that includes this Buff Bagwell/Vampiro match that’s next. The Misfits jump Buff on the ramp and stomp him out, then march him to the ring and toss him in there. Vampiro dominates, whiffs on a corkscrew moonsault, and sparks a Bagwell comeback. Buffoon fights off all the Misfits and turns around into a missile dropkick from Vampiro, but Berlyn runs down with a loaded fist and punches Vampiro in the back of the head; this sets Vampiro up for a Blockbuster that gets three. Berlyn and THE WALL, BROTHER beat up Vampiro and the Misfits after the match. Creative Control is not happy about Buff advancing because the two idiots in the back who write this shit are unhappy about Buff advancing, so they beat up Berlyn in the aisle while TW,B beats up Misfits in the ring. TW,B has to cart Berlyn out over his shoulders after he’s done tossing ‘90s rock stars around. TTP fakes a knee injury in the back by lying next to the caution cone he stole and pretending that he slipped. He calls for help. There’s a break, and we come back to medics claiming that Package’s knee seems fine, but TTP demanding that he be taken to a hospital. Saturn (w/Shane Douglas and Asya) tries to move on in the world title tournament against Bret Hart. Saturn poses, and Asya comically steals his shine by posing right in front of him. There is somehow still just over an hour in the runtime of this show. I have no clue how this is possible. Bret sells his ankle still being injured while Douglas does some mediocre commentary at the desk. Bret and Saturn trade arm wringers, and Bret gets the best of that exchange, drops a leg on Saturn’s arm, and wrenches the elbow. This would be a good twelve- or fifteen-minute match in a wrestling company that was run with any competence, but I’m just awaiting the interference. None of this matters, not even Saturn getting some control and targeting the ankle. Douglas freaks out over the Revolution being barred from ringside during the mixed tag match. Saturn lands an overhead pumphandle suplex, but misses an Asai moonsault. Bret lands a clothesline and a side Russian, then follows up with a backbreaker and a second-rope elbowdrop. That last move convinces Asya to get on the apron; Bret points her out, which diverts the ref and allows Douglas to land a cast shot to Bret’s head. Saturn looks for a DVD and hits it, but it only gets two. Bret gets spilled outside after a crossbody; Malenko runs down and attacks him, and Benoit runs down and attacks Malenko. Saturn dives onto both of them, then tries to sunset flip Bret on his way back into the ring. Bret rolls through the move and locks on a Sharpshooter for the submission victory. I mean, that was the best possible four-minute match full of interference that these two could possibly have. Kimberly pleads with Creative Control to let her into TPtB’s office earlier than her scheduled meeting with them. These cold-hearted bastards refuse. She storms off. Nash sits backstage with Hall and does a Carnac impression. “The answer is…3:16.” *rips envelope open*, “The number of times that Undertaker has wrestled a main event against Austin.” HARDY HAR HAR, YOU UNFUNNY FUCK. If there’s one thing this Nitro-era watch-through has done, it’s been to erode my appreciation of Kevin Nash. This guy sucks without someone to tell him “no.” Luger fakes an injury while sitting in a wheelchair backstage. Booker T. comes to the ring alone. Apparently, TPtB have suspended Stevie Ray for a week since Stevie was unable to escort Buff Bagwell from the world title tournament. Booker is apparently displeased. He grabs a mic and focuses on Jeff Jarrett and Creative Control, who combined to escort Booker out of the world title tournament. He wants to fight all three of them immediately, whether they come to him, or he has to go find them, basically. Jarrett and CC come out as I hit the ol’ mute button and get the feeling restored with Jarrett's proper entrance theme. Jarrett joins commentary and rants about having THE STROKE while Creative Control get in the ring for what Booker has declared is a Harlem Street Fight. Booker holds them off initially, takes a few blows, and then ducks a charge and dumps one to ringside before raining blows upon the other one. CC gets a bit of control gain, but Booker hits them both with a double-clothesline. Jarrett jumps in with the guitar and Booker cuts him off, but that allows them to all jump Booker. Midnight (*sigh*) leaps into the ring from somewhere and tries to help, but Jarrett brains her with the guitar. NICK PATRICK HAS SEEN ENOUGH. So have I. Jarrett gets on headset one more time to declare WHO’S THE SUCKA NOW, SLAPNUTS. Oh yeah, Jarrett is busy establishing one of the worst catchphrases in the history of pro wrestling; I almost mercifully forgot. Nash stands with the riot cops as Hall walks off. Nash goes over a few instructions with them. Tenay interviews Package, who I guess is trying to get out of a match with Sid Vicious later tonight. He tries to bow out because of injury, but TPtB has apparently told Tenay that if Package tries to duck Sid, he forfeits his world tournament match against Sting, which will NOT be happening tonight and will occur next week, if Tony S.’s declaration is correct. Who knows? Not even Schiavone does. Rey Misterio Jr. and Torrie Wilson face Dean Malenko and Asya, and I don’t care. Let’s just get to the finish. Asya sneaks up and handcuffs Torrie to the rope; then, they both attack Rey and his dodgy knee. Asya is perfectly acceptable in the ring, so I guess she was off TV to develop toward competence when she had to actually work. I don’t get why handcuffing Torrie was some big deal; it would make more sense if they got Rey out of the match and then stalked Torrie. Anyway, Rey whiffs on a Bronco Buster attempt on Asya, then gets posted and put in a Texas Cloverleaf that he submits to. The rest of the Filthy Animals chase the Revolution off and free Torrie after the match. Sid walks with the riot police as he heads to the ring to face Package. Kimberly hides in the women’s bathroom and sobs for a bit; David Flair comes up wielding his crowbar and Kim runs off. It’s Sid vs. TTP up next. Liz wheels TTP into the aisle so that Package can talk some more. Package apologizes to Sid and vows to be back for the title tournament next week – he claims to be inspired by Bret wrestling the tournament while injured in a funny little bit. Sting, meanwhile, sneaks up behind Liz, sees her off, and wheels Package down the aisle, tosses him out of the wheelchair, and tosses him into the ring. The bell rings and Sid stomps TTP out. Liz jumps in the ring and shields Package from Sid; Sid gently moves her out of the way and goes back to beating Luger down in the ring. What the hell, thinks Sid, I’ll target Package’s wrapped knee just in case it might be injured. The riot cops come to ringside, but they move aside so that Goldberg can jog to the ring and spear Sid. Luger offers his hand in friendship; Goldberg helps him up and then spears him, too. I believe that this match is over. We are BACK with Tony S. telling us that Vampiro and Berlyn are on in a one-on-one match at Mayhem. Brian Knobbs will be facing Bam Bam Bigelow next in a hardcore match; the winner faces Screamin’ Norman Smiley (who joins commentary) at Mayhem for the WCW Hardcore Championship, which maybe will get an actual title belt presented in the next two weeks? Possibly? Maybe not a stupid trophy this time? Smiley has questions about whether or not Bigelow has the health insurance to fix those missing teeth that he's had for years already, and Tony S. misses an opportunity to explain how the United States health care system developed differently than in most industrialized nations during the late 19th and early 20th centuries and that there isn’t a helpful NHS here to assist a guy like Bam Bam when, say, he rushes into a building to save people from a fire and catches severe burns. Or, for that matter, if Bam Bam gets injured under the employ of a company in an at-will state like WCW. I digress. This is your typical wandering brawl that goes backstage, where Norman follows with his headset to commentate some more. Kimberly runs up to Bam Bam and pleads for help with David Flair, and since Bam Bam and DDP are tight, he leaves the match to help her and gets counted out. In a hardcore match. Within the backstage area. Meanwhile, Smiley scraps with Knobbs and Jimmy Hart; Smiley puts Knobbs in a dumpster and wheels him away. You know exactly what list this match is being placed upon without me even having to tell you. Bam Bam, with Kimberly in tow, walks around backstage with a baseball bat looking for David Flair. Tournament update: Bret Hart faces Kidman to advance from Quadrant #1 and into the final four, and The Total Package faces Sting to advance from Quadrant #2, both next week. Chris Benoit will face the winner of Hall/LeRoux to escape Quadrant #3 and Buff Bagwell will face the winner of Jarrett/Hennig to come out of Quadrant #4, also next week. Scott Hall (w/Wizard Nash, riot squad) has that match against Lash LeRoux next, in fact. Tony S. and Heenan talk about there being a special referee in that Fatal Four-way Ladder Match; sure, why not add another gimmick on top of gimmicks. Hall takes LeRoux lightly, shoving him around and paintbrushing him, but Lash comes back with a couple of flying clotheslines and a dropkick. Hall bails. Nash offers Hall, uh, an aspirin and some Gold Bond medicated powder, I think. There might be vodka in the Gold Bond bottle. Hall gets back in the ring and takes LeRoux lightly, shoving him around and paintbrushing him, then hitting him with a chokeslam and hitting the Frankenstein's monster walk before donning a facial expression that suggests that he just remembered that the Giant isn’t in the company anymore. Chinlock, paintbrush, stomp, abdominal stretch. This is a slow, boring beatdown, even in a company full of two-to-four minute matches. Move it along. Nash loses his turban while throwing a punch at LeRoux. Hall is too lackadaisical and eats boots on a corner charge. LeRoux lands a flurry of moves, including a nice missile dropkick. He whiffs on a Bourbon Street Blues, though, and Hall punches him, then lands a fallaway slam when Lash hops into his arms on a crossbody attempt. Hall signals for a Razor’s Edge and lays LeRoux out with it for three. Post-match, Wizard Nash and the cops get in the ring. Nash and Hall celebrate for a bit before sending the riot cops out of the ring. They all exit except for one. The crowd chants for Goldberg as Nash sneaks up on the last cop with a handful of powder; the guard swats the powder back into Nash and Hall’s faces, then unmasks to in fact reveal Goldberg. This segment ends in spears and tears for Hall and Nash. Recap: Curt Hennig tries desperately to keep his career alive. One good thing Russo and Ferrara did was to get this WTRs group off TV. Sure, injuries also contributed to that, but still. So, Curt Hennig and Jeff Jarrett square off to move on to the most elite of eights here in WCW’s world title tournament. Hennig again jumps his opponent at the bell and obligabrawls with him around ringside. It heads back inside, where Jarrett sneaks a couple of flash pinfall attempts for two counts. Hennig bails and complains to his former manager Heenan that the ref is crooked, then does some more obligabrawling. Slick Johnson specifically diverts Hennig from continuing his assault, which lets Jarrett back into control, so maybe Hennig has a point. Eventually, Creative Control walks to the top of the ramp. They see their chance when there’s a ref bump. They run down as Hennig lands a Perfect Plex and drag him out of the ring, then destroy him at ringside and dump him through the announce table. Jarrett realizes that he has to pin Hennig to get rid of him, though, and tries to stop Slick Johnson’s count at four. CC try to haul Hennig to his feet, but Hennig fights it and loses by count-out. This is so dumb. Why wouldn’t TPtB just fire Hennig anyway if they really wanted him gone? I suppose the reveal that they wanted to psychologically torture the guy for awhile before getting him gone would make sense, but Jarrett would likely know that’s what the TPtB wanted in that case and wouldn’t have tried to stop the count. After the match, Jarrett lands the Stroke on Hennig in the center of the ring. It's funny that before this watch, I had quite a bit of distaste for Jeff Jarrett as a performer, and then watching his 1996/97 WCW run and some of his PPV stuff in 1998/99 WWF, I realized that actually, Jarrett is pretty great. But now he’s back having shitty brawls in 1999 WCW, and what it comes down to is that I hated his Ain’t I Great character as a kid (and not in the good way where I wanted to see him get beaten up), and I hate this Chosen One/My World Jarrett stuff from late-stage WCW and TNA. Jarrett’s work might be suboptimal right at this point in my watch, but I know he’s actually good and hope that at the very least, he’ll do some good stuff in the spaces between Russo and Bischoff running things. Back to the show: Kimberly walks alone through the backstage area…and that’s it. Did I miss something? Let me watch it again. No, she just walks while some techs stare at her. I’m confused. Tony S. is revealed to be wearing jeans with his tie and jacket because there’s no table anymore. Way to expose the guy, Russo, geez. This is like when I teach a class over Zoom while wearing a button-up dress shirt and my Kirby pajama pants. Anyway, I was tricked into talking about a blipment in which somebody just walks because Kimberly was just walking to the ring, is all that was. She gets a mic and says she’s tired of running from David Flair; she calls him out to the center of the ring. Whatever Dopey Dave’s gonna do to her, she says, he’ll have to do in front of thousands of witnesses. Dave walks out here looking kind of like Sandman’s illegitimate child after a bender. This is a set-up; Bigelow jumps him from behind, but Flair swings a leg back and clocks him in the balls, then clubs him with the crowbar. Kimberly climbs into the crowd, and while I’m worried for her safety out there in the middle of all these late ‘90s wrestling fans, some guy politely takes her hand as she struggles to climb the guardrail in her high boots and helps her get over the rail so that she can run off. Well, Indianapolis acquitted itself as well as any late ‘90s wrestling crowd could ever do thanks to that guy! Dave stalks Kimberly as she runs to her car. She does the horror movie trope where she drops the keys to give Flair time to stalk toward her. Flair gets on top of the car and smashes the windows with the crowbar. Creative Control walks up and runs him off, then brings Kimberly to her scheduled meeting with TPtB just in time. Here’s the main event: Scott Hall vs. Sid Vicious vs. Bret Hart vs. Goldberg in a ladder match for the U.S. Championship. Hall and Sid start fighting immediately before anyone else is announced. Bret hobbles out a few seconds later; Goldberg jogs out a few seconds after that. Meanwhile, there’s supposed to be a special ref reveal. It’s just Kevin Nash and some riot cops; Nash lugs the ladder to the ring. There’s some space-filler brawling, and as Goldberg whacks Hall with the ladder and Tony S. announces that TPtB brought Kimberly to that meeting to order that she face David Flair in a match at Mayhem. This is some fucking NONSENSE. Whatever, let me just tell you the finish of this match. Rick Steiner runs down to try and talk to his buddy Sid Vicious as Sid sets the ladder up and tries to get the United States title back. No, wait, by “talk,” I mean that he hits Sid with a diving bulldog. Ref Nash will allow it! This allows space for Bret to go up and grab the belt, but Nash whacks Bret in the knee with a pipe, takes the belt, and holds it up himself so that Hall can go up the ladder and grab it. IT'S JUST A PROP, BRO, WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING?! These shows are SO BAD, but there’s something weirdly enthralling about how bad they are. It’s like watching a hyperactive, spoiled child with way more toys than he can ever play with bashing them around recklessly, losing them, and ripping them apart. You know, RFE WCW is like Sid (from Toy Story, not from that dope ’99 Havoc match against Goldberg) got to run a wrestling promotion. That’s what it is. Alternatively, these shows are like a fifty-car pile-up; I can’t look away, as disgusted and concerned as I am. Watching RFE Nitro is rubbernecking by definition. I guess that sort of badness is better than the boring sort of badness that Bischoff and Nash are responsible for…at least in small doses. Three months of this will be more than enough for me, thank you. -24.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 26 Share Posted August 26 Did I miss Judy bagwell on a forklift or does that happen under russo? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 26 Author Share Posted August 26 5 hours ago, zendragon said: Did I miss Judy bagwell on a forklift or does that happen under russo? You haven't missed it. Bischoff only books Judy to be a tag champ or to nearly single-handedly win a match for her buffoonish son, not to make fun of her for being an overweight woman in middle aged. That last one is totally a Russo vibe. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 26 Author Share Posted August 26 Thunder Interlude – show number eighty-seven – 11 November 1999 "The WCW Gang really doesn't do it for me other than Booker and Sid, and maybe Package, too" It’s live Thunder time…Sid/Saturn, Rick Steiner/Booker for the TV title, and Hennig/Malenko are on deck… Lash LeRoux opens the show against Evan Karagias…Disco Inferno joins commentary while Tenay hypes an Evan Karagias/Johnny Boone match on Nitro…I don’t think anyone was calling for Boone to return to in-ring action, but okay…Tenay asks Disco about Tony Marinara while Madusa saunters to ringside…No one cares about either of these guys, unfortunately…I can’t wait for Shane Helms and Chavo Jr. to briefly bring this cruiserweight division back to life before WCW dies…Madusa hits on Disco, which is what we focus on instead of the match for a while…I want to note that in WCW style, Johnny Boone is the ref for a match that includes a wrestler that he’s feuding with… Larry Z. complains about having to watch two different things at one time…I’m with you, buddy…Karagias is eventually distracted by what’s going on with Disco and Madusa on the floor, and he’s met with a Whiplash that ends the match when he turns his attention back to LeRoux…Disco gets in the ring after the match and makes a twenty-five thousand dollar challenge to Karagias for Mayhem…Karagias wants the Cruiserweight title on the line on top of it…Karagias and Madusa leave together…LeRoux jumps Disco from behind and puts him down with a Whiplash, then also leaves… Gene Okerlund asks Berlyn if he used to dance, and Berlyn and THE WALL, BROTHER close that line of questioning down…Berlyn threatens Curly Bill… Sid arrives at the arena and yells questions at Terry Taylor, mostly about the whereabouts of that dastardly Rick Steiner. Berlyn (w/THE WALL, BROTHER) stalks to the ring; Curly Bill is Berlyn’s opponent tonight…Bill tries to go at Berlyn’s quicker pace, but they have a weird, ugly exchange on what I think was supposed to be a hip toss…Larry Z. complains that we’re all pretending that Berlyn isn’t Alex Wright…One of the Misfits shows up, Jerry Only, and cuts a pretty good mid-match promo in which he challenges TW,B to come face off with him in the streets of Fort Wayne and find out what fighting is really about, which TW,B leaves ringside to do…Vampiro takes the chance to jump Berlyn…TW,B realizes that he’s been diverted and, with Vampiro escaping before he makes it back, tosses Bill out of the ring…I guess we’re about to revert Berlyn back to Alex Wright now that everyone’s acknowledging who he is…Acknowledging again, I mean… Silver King and La Parka are interviewed by Okerlund in the back…They dub over La Parka’s comments…It’s still unfunny and stupid…I think the joke is that Parka is supposed have figured out that he was dubbed over last week and has worked quickly to learn English, which he speaks in a dramatic and un-Parka-like voice…If you can even call that a joke, I mean… A suit-wearing Chavo Jr. tries to sell stain remover and bug spray to a Villano… Okerlund interviews Rick Steiner, who tries to establish his shitty catchphrases before an enraged Sid attacks him and they have a punch-up… Silver King and La Parka tag up against Villano V and, hey, is that Lizmark Jr.?...Anyway, we’re going to have a pre-match mic spot in which Russo and Ferrara dub Parka complaining that he learned English and can cut promos, but he still has to wrestle the rest of the dudes from Mexico…Boy, do I hate Vince Russo's uncreative creative ideas… It strikes me that Russo is in some ways maybe not the exact opposite of Tony Khan as a booker, but it is helpful to place them at two opposing poles on a line for the purposes of simplification…Khan will bring in a big name who doesn’t promo in English and expect that person to get over just on their reputation and their work, which doesn’t really work that well beyond a very small contingent of fans... On the other hand, Russo refusing to push any of these guys who don’t speak English as their home language and being happy to mock them is gross, man, just gross…It doesn’t matter how much charisma Silver King has if he can’t cut shitty promos where he calls people “pussies” or whatever crap Russo wants guys to say, I guess… But I think the best way to get these guys over is to split the difference…Just stick them with a native English speaker to cut promos for them…Gary Hart helped get multiple Japanese dudes with limited or no English over in the States by effectively working that formula…I am convinced that not only would La Parka have been a fairly big star for WCW using that formula, but so could Silver King have been…King got the crowd going with his in-ring taunts and facial expressions here in Fort Wayne, as a matter of fact… Anyway, Parka is getting a push, I suppose, because after a short match, he lands a corkscrew moonsault on Lizmark for three, then brains both Lizmark and Villano with his chair after the match. Berlyn and THE WALL, BROTHER stomp out Curly Bill in a backstage restroom… Okerlund asks Hennig if he thinks that TPtB are finally going to get him out of wrestling at some point…Hennig says otherwise…He backs himself to keep winning not losing by pinfall… Chavo tries to sell crap to Kaz, which in storyline is an effective approach to selling your crap quickly and for a higher price than it’s worth… Recap: All the nonsense in the world title tournament that happened on Nitro, and a recap of the brackets… Gene Okerlund talks to Booker T. backstage…Okerlund has questions about Midnight…Booker just says that they know each other from back in the day…Russo really wants to create a Chyna for WCW, like Chynas just grow on trees or some shit… Sid creepily talks to a monitor upon which he’s watching Rick Steiner walking…Syko Sid seems a little unhinged, let’s say… Disco’s on the phone to his bookie and said bookie suggests that maybe Disco can get himself into higher-earning opportunities in WCW by currying favor with TPtB…Maybe by helping Dean Malenko pin Curt Hennig, for example… Booker T. faces Rick Steiner for the TV title…You know what you’re getting from a Rick Steiner match…I’m just here for Booker exploding into offensive control…He does so with a flying forearm…He lands a few moves before getting slammed out of a leapover…Mauling…A nice belly-to-belly from Steiner for two…That was his one interesting spot of the match…Maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll get a second from him…Booker tries to fight back with punches, and gets dumped outside for an obligabrawl…Booker tries to fight out of a chinlock and eventually does…Roundhouse kick, boot to the gut, axe kick, Spinaroonie…Booker goes up for a missile dropkick, and of course there’s a ref bump when Steiner pulls the ref in the way… Steiner lands a DDT and goes up for a diving bulldog…Sid walks to the ring, shoves Steiner off the top rope, and drills him with a powerbomb…Sid puts Booker on top of Steiner and rolls the ref back in the ring to make the academic three count…Johnny Boone comes down and tries to switch the decision, so Sid powerbombs him…He also powerbombs the original ref, Billy Silverman…Sid stares at Booker, but Steiner jumps Sid from behind and Booker just rolls out as security rushes the ring…So, that dope Johnny Boone ran down to reverse the decision because of Sid…He’s a kayfabe idiot…He should have raised Booker’s arm since Steiner threw the ref in Booker’s way first rather than raising Steiner’s arm because Sid interfered…WCW refs continue to be kayfabe bad…I think it’s important to build at least one ref as the competent one so you can use him in big main events and the like, and it makes kayfabe sense that this ref is assigned the biggest bouts…They did that with Charles Robinson…Then they turned him heel…D’oh!... Tenay, talking over the B-roll, mentions that we saw Disco skulking around as Curt Hennig walked to the ring “moments ago”…We absolutely did not see that, and helpfully, Larry Z. speaks for the viewer by saying that he also didn’t see this footage…BWAHAHAHA…Larry Z. being a cynical hater of the RFE, saying what most fans are thinking over on commentary, would be great…Hennig/Malenko (w/The Revolution) is next…Douglas joins commentary to yammer on for a bit as the match starts… This match is mediocre…But compared to the typical TV match in this brave new era, it’s solidly above-average…I’m not going to be grading on a curve when placing matches on my lists, though…As bad as the Nash Era was, it still continued to place matches on my lists…Mostly because he didn’t care enough or have enough bandwidth to pay a lot of attention to Thunder, which meant that two or more good workers had ample time to do a good television match...Furthermore, it was because even he was fine with multiple 8-10 minute matches with the occasional 12+ minute match on Nitro… Hennig does get pops for using his heel trickeration on Malenko…He catches a Malenko kick, dodges the short-armed cruiserweight’s punches, then pokes him in the eye to a round of applause from the crowd…Malenko takes over and lands strikes before going into a chinlock…Hennig fights up and lands a desperation jawbreaker…He controls with chops and eventually lands a neck snap…Malenko strikes the guy in the nuts, then hits a leg lariat and goes for a Texas Cloverleaf that Hennig turns into a small package for two…They fight over a suplex, and eventually, Hennig sends Malenko into the corner, which is when the Revolution has enough… Now, get this…GET THIS…Asya runs a distraction on the ref while Douglas conks Hennig with his cast…Disco runs down and, for some stupid-ass reason, tosses Malenko off of Hennig and tries to cover Hennig himself…Even though he’s not competing in this match…What the fuck?...Disco fucking up interference that he attempted to try and cause Hennig to lose would have made logical sense, but this is just dumb as hell…Malenko and Disco squabble, which allows Hennig to recover…Asya ends up tangling with Disco…Malenko suplexes Hennig and covers, but Chris Benoit runs down and drops a headbutt on Malenko, then clears out Douglas as the ref counts three…And where was Saturn, might you ask?...He was macking on some WCW tech at ringside and therefore too distracted to do much…What in sweet fuck was this overbooked nonsense?... Sid and Steiner are still rumbling in the backstage area… Okerlund interviews the Maestro about his upcoming hardcore match against Brian Knobbs…They’re trying to toss so much into this show that Okerlund’s already halfway through his question to the Maestro when we actually kick it over to him…God, this show is formatted like ass… Okerlund insists on interviewing Brian Knobbs when we come back from break…Nah, I’m good…Knobbs plans to show Norman Smiley what it’s gonna be like at Mayhem by beating down the Maestro…Even Jimmy Hart wants a piece of Smiley… The Maestro vs. Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart) is next up…You know what this match is like…Screamin’ Norman joins commentary for this one…The crowd enjoys the Pit Stop, I must say…The Maestro actually lands a nice roll-up for two in there, but the rest of this is whatever…The Maestro is out here taking chairs to the head for some reason…Jimmy Hart walks to the desk and tells Smiley that Smiley’s not hardcore…Smiley eventually gets up, grabs a violin case, and clocks Hart with it…Knobbs comes outside to check on Hart and Smiley wallops him with a lead pipe, then dances and leaves…The Maestro goes outside and covers for three… Konnan and Kidman (w/the Filthy Animals) defend the tag titles against someone…I have to sit through Eddy doing some shitty pre-match mic work before I find out…Oh, he says that it’s the First Family…Knobbs was already out here, so I assume that it’s Hugh Morrus and Jerry Flynn…Kidman and Konnan insist on talking, too…Man, this sucks…I do love Konnan’s Kangol, though…I loved it when Kangols were in…I had a Kangol back then too, shit…No, wait, it’s Flynn and Barbarian, no Hugh Morrus to be found… Flynn says something to Torrie, and she slaps him…Eddy comes over and attacks Flynn…Nick Patrick kicks the two Animals out of the ringside area…Note that Jimmy Hart isn’t out here after that case shot and Rey Misterio Jr. isn’t in the arena tonight…Tenay promotes AC Jazz vs. Spice on Nitro…Fuck off, WCW…Kidman is in peril…He finally moves out of the way of a Barbarian attack, but he goes for an SSP rather than tag out…Flynn trips him…Barb hits a super overhead release belly-to-belly…Konnan breaks up the pinfall at two and the match breaks down…Kidman ducks a Flynn kick, then goes up top and lands a splash on Barbarian as Barb completes a superplex on Konnan that gets three… TTP and Liz are with Okerlund…Package is upset about Okerlund’s yellow journalism tactics when Okerlund talks about his recent machinations…He cuts a reasonably humorous promo in which he acts offended that Okerlund would dare question if he’s faking an injury and then promises to make things up with Sting on Nitro… Recap: This absurd Nitro Girls feud…They add some interviews to this package in which the other Nitro Girls take sides… Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas rant about Chris Benoit and revolutions while talking to Okerlund backstage…Saturn lists a bunch of definitions for the word “revolution,” and Malenko asks, “Who writes your promos?” Saturn confirms that he does, and he takes out a few papers with some scribbles on them to prove it…I said, fuck off, WCW… TTP limps to the ring, Liz at his side…Tenay announces Norman Smiley vs. Jimmy Hart in a hardcore match on Nitro…Russo is so bad at this, man, and Ferrara too…Is their nonsense as bad as that one Nitro where Ric Flair got murderized in a field in exurban Tampa?...No, and in fact as I developed a master list of each episode with its main event match or segment and the number of Stinger Splashes I gave it, I realized that I didn’t score that Nitro harshly enough…But pretty much nothing on any of these RFE shows is good…It’s just a shotgun blast of garbage spread everywhere rather than one or two angles that were specifically, lovingly crafted out of solid dogshit… Anyway, Kaz Hayashi is Package’s opponent…The crowd chants YOU SUCK at Package as he gets a mic and bows out of the match…Package: “Another time, Hashi, another time”…It’s HAYASHI, Package…Was he just kayfabe heeling by fucking up Kaz’s name, or do you think it’s a shoot that Luger was unaware until that night that Hayashi was even employed in the same company as him?...Kaz gets the mic and calls Luger CHICKEN SHIT…Package jumps Kaz from behind and stomps him out… Package moves easily on that supposedly busted leg…He squashes and racks poor Kaz for the win… The Revolution fires Saturn up before his match later tonight… In the back, La Parka and Kaz have a conversation that seems friendly… Tenay promotes a Sid Vicious/Rick Steiner match for Nitro…Well, at least that one makes sense… Sid comes to the ring to face Saturn (w/The Revolution) in the Thunder main event…Larry Z. says that in his fifteen years in WCW, he’s been through seven powers-that-be…If we count Russo and Ferrara as one unit, who else is there?...Frye, Herd, Crockett, Bisch, Watts…That's six...Who am I blanking on?... A small SID chant starts while Sid beats down Saturn and Douglas joins commentary…Saturn tries to jump Sid when Malenko distracts the big man, but Sid moves and Saturn dives into Malenko…Obligabrawl…Malenko gets in Sid’s face, which gives Saturn time to recover and catch Sid coming back in the ring…Wow, big overhead suplex from Saturn…Impressive…Sid kicks out of a cover after a springboard legdrop with emphasis…Sid catches Saturn with a clothesline and takes over…The SID chant starts again, louder and longer this time…Sid lands a big boot and calls for a chokeslam… Saturn kicks Sid in the balls as Sid lifts him in the goozle…Saturn goes up, but dives right back into a goozle and gets chokeslammed…The crowd pops for Sid calling for a powerbomb, which he lands for what would have been three if Asya didn’t yank the ref from the ring…Malenko confronts Sid and also gets powerbombed…Asya confronts Sid…The look on Sid’s face is priceless…He looks confused that she’d even try to step to him and mouths YOU, TOO?...Asya kicks Sid, so Sid gets her in powerbomb position, but Rick Steiner runs down and jumps him before he can land it…Sid fights Steiner off and big boots him to the floor… I’m adding “didn’t turn Sid babyface immediately after that Goldberg Havoc match” to the list of things that WCW low-key botched in this Nitro Era… Anyway, bad show, but – and I suppose that it’s fitting to say this on the day that Sid’s passing was announced – that guy continues to rule hard…He’s one of the few guys who I look forward to seeing on Nitro as we go deeper into the Russo-Ferrara Era…Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough of him on this show to save it…OWWWWWW… 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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