SirSmUgly Posted August 3 Author Share Posted August 3 (edited) Thunder Interlude – show number seventy-seven – 26 August 1999 "The WCW Gang faces new competition from the WWF, manages to drag even its weakest members to solid television performances" Fall Brawl doesn’t quite feel like it’s taking shape yet, other than maybe Goldberg/Sid and possibly a Sting/Hogan rematch if they don’t hotshot a title switch on Nitro…I’m not sure Thunder is going to do much to push things along… This is the date of the first WWF Smackdown!, just as a note... The Public Enemy open tonight’s show against Sid Vicious in a handicap match…Sid destroys these fellas…They put up no resistance…Sid finishes the former WCW tag champs with a double chokeslam…He talks to the camera after the match… Promo: This Coach Buzz Stern thing plays again…I knew of this gimmick, but wow, do I remember nothing about it or how long it lasts…Stern has “three ‘S’s”…“sweat + sacrifice = success”…Well, it’s not Kurt Angle’s “three ‘I’s’,” but it’s not bad… The *hurk* tag champion *hack* WTRs *blurgh* come to the ring, but oddly enough without their belts…Passing strange, isn’t it?...Anyway, let’s continue watching this ostensibly live Thunder as they ("they" being the Windham Bros. and Bobby Duncum Jr.) face Rey Misterio Jr., Eddy Guerrero, and Billy Kidman in a trios tag…Hennig must be injured right now, and even as mediocre-to-bad as he is in the ring at this point, swapping him out for Kendall or Duncum is typically a noticeable downgrade… Misterio pulls a Booker T. and makes Kendall look like he might not suck in the opening by having a fun sequence with him…Kendall hits a clothesline and tags out to Barry, but Rey scrambles away from danger and tags Kidman, who has a pretty good fiery sequence against Barry that ends when Barry sends him to the floor on his team’s side of the ring…Bary leverages his power when Kidman is dumped back into the ring…Kidman is FIP…He backflips out of a back suplex and hits a springboard bulldog as we hit the break… We come back to Eddy Guerrero seemingly in control against Barry Windham, but Barry snaps his neck across the ropes as he pursues, and Eddy’s going to be in peril for the second notably lengthy FIP segment of the match…Barry Windham has looked good tonight, and as not good as Duncum and Kendall are, they’ve worked well leveraging their size advantage against the smaller babyfaces (and taking some nice bumps for their offense)…Eddy takes a beating and has to kick out of pinfall attempts a couple of times, but he scores a DDT on Barry and then a rana after Windham pretty clearly sets up for it by using a knuckle lock, which I never see him do at all… Rey gets a hot tag, and he and Kidman combine on leveraging Bobby Duncum over on a sunset flip/crossbody combo…The resulting two count causes the match to break down…Misterio tries a Bronco Buster on Duncum, and Hennig rings up Rey with the bell as he flies in from the seated position…Duncum covers, but Eddy makes the save…Hennig pulls Rey to the floor…Kidman follows and hits him with a baseball slide…Kendall comes out and attacks Kidman…Meanwhile, Duncum and Barry combine on a flying forearm…They try again, but Eddy busts out of it…He dropkicks Duncum into a seated position on the top rope…Rey goes up and hits a top-rope rana for three… The WTRs stomp out the babyfaces until Harlem Heat charge out and run them off…I can’t believe it…That was an excellent match, and it involved the WTRs!...Eddy and Rey are miracle workers, but Kidman and Barry were also excellent in this thing, and all four of those guys helped Duncum and Kendall elevate their games…Even the break, which cut out the second run of babyface offense before the second FIP, didn’t hurt this too badly (even if I would have liked to see it)… No…NO…NOOOOOO…Sid Vicious and Rick Steiner are out here to interview with Gene Okerlund…Please, make it stop…Sid calls himself and Rick the “pioneers of WCW,” which is kinda true from a certain perspective, and then mocks the REVOLUTION chant, and that's funny, especially because the REVOLUTION stuff is corny…Well, I wasn’t excited to see the WTRs, and they had a good match…I was rapidly getting sick of Sid, but he entertained me in this promo…Maybe, contrary to my preconceived notions, Rick Steiner will be a pleasant surprise on the mic?...Hmmm…Nope, he cuts a garbage dump of a promo…Oh well, two out of three ain’t bad!... Blipmo: Run a different Berlyn promo already! Ernest Miller (w/Sonny Onoo, cowboy hat, sheriff’s badge) is in the ring next…He does a hilarious two-step…He incites these Texans in the crowd by saying, “There’s a new sheriff in town, and he’s big, bad, and black” before stomping the cowboy hat as a show of what he thinks of the whole sorry state of Texas…I mean, he stomps the shit out of this hat…Onoo tries to hold him back from the hat, but he pulls away and stomps it some more in a rage…The Cat kills me… So, Onoo grabs the mic and tries to calm the Cat down by saying that Prince is here, then singing a few bars of “Purple Rain.” But no, it’s not Prince Rogers who comes out here…It’s Prince Iaukea…Did Russo see this segment and get ideas in his head?...Anyway, the Cat kills me…He grabs the mic and calls his opponent “Prince Guacamole,” a worthy heel mispronunciation on the level of "Prince Nakamaki," then says that he’ll win the match in fewer than three minutes, or he’ll never return to Lubbock…I mean, he should deliberately win in more than three minutes…Lubbock is a dump… Iaukea bonks Miller's head off the ring steps, so the Cat makes to leave…Onoo rushes up to him and reminds him of his promise to beat Iaukea in three minutes or fewer, so he waits for his chance and rushes Iaukea, who has his back turned and is talking to the ref…He slides in the ring and misjudged how far he had to go…Iaukea turns around, sees the Cat on his stomach in front of him, and stomps him…I loved that spot from when he first busted it out against Saturn…It’s a clever spot that some cowardly heel who is trying to get over on national television should steal… Iaukea charges Miller after a whip to the corner, but gets kicked in the jaw…Miller lands a kick, a slam, and a Moonwalk Elbow…He tries another one, but misses…Iaukea comes back with strikes and a dropkick…He lands a body slam, then a reverse slam…He covers after that last one, but Onoo puts the Cat’s foot on the ropes…The Cat goes after Onoo, so the Cat puts on the red slipper and lands a Feliner for three…We don’t get the timekeeper’s call about how long that took…I enjoy the Cat’s antics an awful lot… Harlem Heat is already in the ring when we come back, as are their opponents Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobbs…They’re following through on the First Family challenge from the previous Thunder, but unfortunately for Knobbs and Morrus, the Heat don’t have the tag belts anymore…Booker easily controls Knobbs to start…He tags Stevie in and that big lunk loses control of the match almost immediately…To his credit, he fights his way out of trouble and lands a jumping front kick to Morrus…Booker tags in and gets two off a flying forearm… Watching Booker land offense is fun, but he’s only one man…Still, this match is perfectly watchable considering who’s involved…Stevie is FIP off a distraction…Booker T. tosses Jerry Flynn, at ringside, into the guardrail when Flynn tries to get involved…The FIP segment has pretty much no Booker in it, so it’s not too great…Stevie kicks his way out of more trouble eventually and gets a hot tag…Booker hits explosive offense, which is his best trait…Booker getting to be a babyface hot tag is maybe what he was made for actually…the match breaks down…Flynn pulls down the rope on a rope run and Booker tumbles to the floor as Stevie tosses Knobbs out on another side of the ring…Flynn hops in the ring while Jimmy Hart distracts the ref, but he mistimes his kick and hammers Hugh Morrus in the face…Booker scrambles up from the floor, goes to the top, and hits Morrus with a missile dropkick…Stevie covers for three…That was decent stuff, but Booker is so far above these other dudes…It’s eleven months until he gets a proper singles push at the level that I believe he should be at…That’s a lot of WCW television for me to watch until then… Promo: It’s a different Buzz Stern promo…He yells at some Power Plant trainees while they lift…Aw, there is a vintage Clash of the Champions banner and an old-school WCW Nitro banner hanging in the workout room…I miss the hell out of those aesthetics… Disorderly Conduct tag up against Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko…This match is okay…Douglas and Malenko hit a series of double-team moves to clear the ring early…The Revolution members have little issue working over DC…No one cares about Shane Douglas…They need to get Ric Flair’s injured back some ice and get him on TV again to heat things up a bit…Maybe Ric can form a version of the Four Horsemen with Terry Funk and a couple of other older dudes to feud with the Revolution or something…Douglas is FIP for a bit…He catches a Tuff Tom dive and turns it into an inverted atomic drop, then lands a belly-to-belly and gets the hot tag…The match breaks down pretty soon after…Malenko rings Tom up with a leg lariat and locks on a Texas Cloverleaf to win it… Diamond Dallas Page cuts an interview with Gene Okerlund…It’s bad, but you already know my issues with page on the mic…He can’t adapt his baseline style from when he was a corny dude with too many cubic zirconia rings and a cigar in his mouth…Page lays out Sting, Goldberg, and the Hulkster as his next targets…He plans to finish Goldberg off on the next Nitro…Then he wants to be the world champ again…Well, that filled some time… Chavo Guerrero Jr.?!...PUSH THIS MAN, YOU IDIOTS…He is figuratively criminally underutilized…And if I were Supreme Leader at the time, I would have made it a literal crime to do Chavo like this…Speaking off, Page is facing Chavo tonight…Oh great, Page is going to play the dozens before this match…Chavo grabs a mic and plays them right back…He cuts a dumb iterative your mama joke that plays off Page’s…I chuckled, I admit it…Page fake laughs, then jumps Chavo… Page might be absolute garbage from a mic work perspective, and he might be wildly vacillating between “psychotic about his lady akin to a heavily-tattooed version of Randy Savage” and “cornball Jersey boy,” but his in-ring work is still top-notch for the most part…These fellas had an excellent match at Fall Brawl in 1996…They have a match that isn’t anywhere near as good as that tonight, and there’s a break in the middle of it besides…Mostly, Page hits impact moves on Chavo…It’s aesthetically pleasing, and it makes sense…Page is several levels about Chavo in the pecking order…I just don’t like it because a more competitive match would be significantly more enjoyable…I also don’t like it because Chavo should be the Cruiserweight Champ and a threat to heavyweights everywhere like Kidman, Rey, or Eddy are…But it’s an easy watch…Chavo gets close on a couple of flash pinfall attempts, but Page generally has no trouble…He drills a TKO-style Diamond Cutter for three… It's main event time…Sid and Rick Steiner face Saturn and Chris Benoit…Benoit starts out hot, but goes at Rick Steiner on the apron and gets caught from behind by Sid…Sid whiffs on a clothesline and gets caught in a Crippler Crossface, so Rick Steiner breaks it up…That draws Saturn, which allows Steiner to switch with Sid, no tag needed…They’re heels, so Mickey Jay lets it happen instead of forcing Steiner to the apron like he would if they were babyfaces…I hate that fucking spot because it’s inconsistently applied…I get why on the level of “we want the crowd to feel a visceral sense of unfairness”…But it drives me batty and takes me out of the match a bit… Sid stands in the ring and yaps at the crowd, which is chanting SID SUCKS…Jay is drawn over to shoo Sid onto the apron, and the Revolution members stomp out Steiner in their corner…This is a fairly back-and-forth match, actually…Benoit is in trouble in the heel corner as we go to break…Steiner liberally cheats outside the ring while Sid wanders around and yaps at Saturn…Steiner gets a crutch from somewhere and chokes Benoit with it…Benoit blocks Sid’s punches and gets a rollup for two, but Sid’s up first and locks on a sort of Camel Clutch… So, I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but Rick Steiner does something cool that I’ve not seen before…He walks over and shoves his boots against Benoit’s, which theoretically jams Benoit up into the chinlock that Sid’s got him in even more…Huh, that’s a cool little leverage spot…Some tag team should definitely do a Camel Clutch spot where the illegal tag partner shoves his body weight against the opponent’s feet to leverage the hold…Benoit ends up outside the ring, where Sid hangs him on the guardrail throat-first…Benoit fights up out of a Sid chinlock a couple minutes later, but whiffs on a diving headbutt… Both men make tags…Saturn goes wild, and of course, the match breaks down…They try stereo corner punches, but Steiner tosses Benoit over his head and outside the ring…In a contrived finish, Steiner attacks Saturn from behind, and Sid powerbombs Saturn while Benoit creeps from behind and locks Steiner in a Crippler Crossface…Steiner wheels around and kicks Mickey Jay in the head while giving up…Charles Robinson runs down and counts three on the Sid pinfall attempt while ignoring Steiner submitting…Sid and Steiner attack Benoit after the match and are run off by the other two Revolution members…Well, that wasn’t bad!...And not entirely because of Benoit and Saturn, either… I’m glad to see Thunder getting back to being consistent, even with (again) way too much Sid on the show…Sid is traditionally better when you run him out there in small doses…Nash et al. choosing to do the opposite is the type of decision that makes Turner brass decide that Vince Russo would be a better choice to head up creative…Still, good wrestling show that featured the WTRs being useful somehow!...WOOOO… Edited August 3 by SirSmUgly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 (edited) 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: a lukewarm obligatory ringside brawl. So iirc a few pages backstory tried to come up with an obligatory ringside brawl theme and since that point every time I read the phrase, I hear it in my head being sung by William Hung, like the "Mock Trial with J.Reinhold" theme from Arrested Development 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: What in the fuck is OUT WITH EVOLUTION, IN WITH REVOLUTION supposed to mean? Idiotic. And in another tv reference, this sounds like the time Alan Partridge was sucking up to the head of the BBC by saying "I liked your quote: Revolution not Evolution" and he responded "No it was the opposite, Evolution not Revolution" and Partridge just shrugs it off because it makes no difference to him, he's just sucking up. He then says It suits him because "I evolve but I dont...revolve" which could have been the group's catchphrase as well. It makes me wonder how long WCW creative argued whether they should be Evolution or Revolution and which one aligned closer with the group's kayfabe concerns Edited August 3 by caley 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 3 Share Posted August 3 I suppose an evolution would take time and happen organically where a revolution is more taking what you want by force? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted August 4 Share Posted August 4 Revolution has always seemed to me like a Shane Douglas idea. i don't know if it's because he's the one that seemed to use it with the most fervor, or if it was him using it as soon as he got to WCW, but i fit pretty well with who he was. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 4 Author Share Posted August 4 22 hours ago, zendragon said: I suppose an evolution would take time and happen organically where a revolution is more taking what you want by force? This is a reasonable explanation for that catchphrase, so I'm going to take this and run with it. 1 hour ago, twiztor said: Revolution has always seemed to me like a Shane Douglas idea. i don't know if it's because he's the one that seemed to use it with the most fervor, or if it was him using it as soon as he got to WCW, but i fit pretty well with who he was. Shane coming in and going at the old guard certainly does fit with who he is as a character. I just think his execution of this works far better as a shit-talking heel or tweener than it does as a fiery babyface. 22 hours ago, caley said: So iirc a few pages backstory tried to come up with an obligatory ringside brawl theme and since that point every time I read the phrase, I hear it in my head being sung by William Hung, like the "Mock Trial with J.Reinhold" theme from Arrested Development OBLIGATORY RINGSIDE BRAWL OBLIGATORY RINGSIDE BRAWL OBLIGATORY RINGSIDE BRAWL RING BRAWLLLLLLL (William Hung trails off, house band suddenly stops playing) I wish I had come up with a knockoff set of lyrics for "It Ain't Easy Bein' White/Wight" when the Giant was still in the company. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 5 Author Share Posted August 5 Show #204 – 30 August 1999 “The one where we all debate whether or not Hulk Hogan could ever turn out to be a piece of shit even though we all know the answer already in kayfabe” Let’s Nitro over a couple of sessions because the USA women are about to play a basketball game, and I have a lot to do today, but I also want to do this because I believe in the importance of establishing a writing practice. This show practically starts in media res, with Steven Regal and Dave Taylor just locking up with Disorderly Conduct in a tag match. I think we all know where this is going. The crowd pops for this fucking run-in spot from Sid, but the best thing I can say about it is that comes very early in this thing, and I wasn’t dumb enough to get invested in anything happening in the ring anyway. The word millennium is misspelled on Charles Robinson’s sign. Lodi and Lenny argue with security about getting backstage while some plants pretend to be their fans. Here’s where they stick the review of last week’s show, including Bischoff denying to comment on who the new WCW President would be. It strikes me that we’re two Nitros away from Bischoff being SHOOT dumped in the bushes. Our long national nightmare is almost over. There’s the title card with the Nitro Girls, then a dance in the ring from the Nitro Girls. Someone in the crowd has a FIRST ZEUS, THEN HERCULES, NOW GOLDBERG sign that I think is an apt explanation of at least some of the appeal of American pro wrestling specifically. Truly, many of these wrestlers act out the trials of heroes past in the ring. Unless that sign dude was talking about Tiny Lister and one-half of Power and Glory rather than the Greek mythological figures, in which case I disagree with his sign entirely. Lex Luger comes to the ring to talk to Gene Okerlund about why he’s suspicious of Hulk Hogan. Memory is a strange thing because I never saw any of these shows; I just read about them on the internet. Yet, out of nowhere when I was pondering how the Hogan/Sting match might end and out of the deepest recesses of my mind, I remembered merely following this angle via internet reports and recalled for the first time in twenty-five years what was likely going to happen. Luger claims to have evidence that Hogan is secretly heeling. Man, Hogan is openly heeling at all times; he’s just wearing red and yellow now, so the ham ‘n eggers are easily duped. Hey, that was a decent Bobby Heenan impression I just did. Berlyn pops out of a limo with the back; he’s with a translator named Uta and some security dudes. Tony S. says that while Berlyn speaks English (yes, we know), he refuses to do so (yes, we’ve seen him do that very thing and piss off that xenophobe Okerlund in the bargain). Seriously, though, it’s a nice touch to pull that character trait forward and center it for this new angle. Lash LeRoux is out here. He’s in a huge fight to even finish a match before Sid comes out here against Scotty Riggs. The crowd is chanting WE WANT SID immediately during this match. It’s a show in the state of New York, if you were wondering. New Yorkers love the FUCK out of Sid powerbombing dudes. I do too, but not in the middle of matches multiple times each show! The crowd quiets down for a bit, then gives another reaction. That reaction is another WE WANT SID chant. They don’t get SID. They get Vampiro and the ICP instead. Vampiro yaps at Riggs, which distracts the guy; LeRoux, who had been getting trashed, hits a run of offense. Vampiro yells something about Riggs owing him and then enters the ring to watch Riggs pin LeRoux for three with a Rocker Dropper. Vampiro tries to put his arm around Riggs’s shoulder, but Riggs is resistant. Vampiro insists that Riggs owes him; Riggs is confused about this whole deal. The Revolution is in the ring with snazzy new t-shirts; Douglas tries to get his guys over as budding main event talent; Saturn requests a TV title shot from Rick Steiner for Fall Brawl. Chris Benoit basically offers up an open challenge. Benoit-bot gets stuck on the word experience and nearly explodes; so much for being a decent promo with any consistency. Malenko said some boilerplate stuff. This group very badly needs a talker, which is wild to say since Shane Douglas is part of it. Kaz Hayashi has a beard of evil, maybe? No, wait, he slaps hands with members of the crowd. Lenny Lane and Lodi come to the ring to do their whole deal. I guess they got into the building somehow. Lodi is going to wrestle tonight. Somebody throws a drink at them. Lodi stops, looks in the direction that the cup came from, and yells THEY LOVE US because he sometimes finds little pockets of humor in the dreariness. Tony S. shills WCW Mayhem (the video game), which is the first N64 WCW game not developed by AKI and the first N64 WCW game to have the new ugly logo on the cartridge. It’s all downhill, as if you didn’t know. Kaz leaps over the top rope from the apron and DDT’s Lodi, but Lane puts Lodi’s boot on the ropes. Kaz attacks that cheating Lane with a twisting Tsukahara, but Lodi dives onto both Kaz and Lane and takes over. Some dude has been insistently holding up an I MISS RALPHUS sign on the hard cam side. Yeah. Yeah. Lodi gets two on a powerslam and sits Kaz up top for a move, but Kaz counters with a rana that gets two. He counters a Lodi suplex attempt and drills a brainbuster, then goes up top before Lane trips him right in front of the ref. No DQ. It’s kayfabe worst WCW ref ever Billy Silverman, so it tracks. Lodi goes up and hits a super bulldog while Kaz is sitting on the top rope, but Kaz kicks out at 2.5 or so. Then, there’s a ref bump on a leapover spot in the corner because of course there is. Lodi and Lenny do a switcheroo, but when Lane tries a body slam, Kaz counters it into a small package and gets three because Lodi and Lenny look vaguely similar. The brothers (Tony S. is insistent that they’re totally related bros) attack Kaz after the match. Hulk Hogan and Sting will be rematching at Fall Brawl for the big gold belt; Gene Okerlund introduces Hogan as a man who has always been there for the fans before an interview. Did Hogan get one of those Men in Black mindwipe devices and use it on everyone but Luger, Sting, and Heenan? Anyway, I’m excited for this latest Hulkster reign of terror to be ending in the next couple of weeks of television. Hogan denies being a bad guy and claims not to know anything about Luger having hard evidence of him being a terrible dude. I’m assuming Luger hid a camera in Hogan’s bedroom and got him in a relaxed post-coital mood. This year’s two new WCW Superstar Series videos: Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair. They stand the VHS sleeves up, and Heenan surreptitiously knocks the Hogan one down. Heh. La Parka and Blitzkrieg are a random tag team tonight. Should I even get hyped for this? Is this going to be another Sid special? They’re facing Eddy Guerrero and Rey Misterio Jr. La Parka dances, so Rey slaps him. RUDE. Parka hits a lariat in response, and when Eddy yells at him, Parka spits at Eddy. Parka gets into with Eddy on the apron, and Parka slips to the floor when trying to shove Eddy; Eddy shoots Rey into a baseball slide DDT on Parka standing on the floor(!). Blitz just jumps in there and attacks with no tag, but Rey controls him and hits an Asai moonsault, then dodges a charging La Parka. Parka finally catches Rey on a crossbody and is able to shake off a corner whip and comes out with a body slam. Blitz and Parka combine on a kick to score two as the camera cuts to the remnants of the Dead Pool standing at the top of the ramp and watching the match. In the ring, dudes just do moves and eschew that whole “tagging your partner” thing. It’s basically a video game in here. Blitz and Eddy end up together in the ring, but Blitz misses a cartwheel elbow, bumps himself damned near over the corner post, and gets top-rope rana’d. Eddy boosts Rey into a splash that drills La Parka outside the ring, then lands a Frog Splash on Blitzkrieg for three. Fun and fast moves exhibition, that was. Blipmo: One more time, it’s that Berlyn promo. Gene Okerlund is in the ring to harass Berlyn regarding his willingness to speak English. I think Berlyn has a cool look, what with dressing in all black, the entourage in all black, and the cane. Dope facial hair, too. Berlyn’s security insists on patting down Okerlund before Berlyn will enter. See, this has potential. Why did they send Berlyn in there with Duggan, of all people? You have all these cruiserweights who you don’t value; send one of them in there to get squashed. The translator’s name is Uta Ludendorff, but she has a clean, Midwestern American accent, so that’s a slight miss. They couldn’t find a woman with a light German accent to fill this role? Anyway, here’s a summary of Berlyn’s promo using a very ‘90s analog: Envision Peter Stormare in a VW commercial showing off the superiority of a Volkswagen and then intoning GERMAN ENGINEERING, but instead it’s Alex Wright wearing a Mohawk and standing in a wrestling ring talking about how great he is instead of how great a Jetta is. Also, he challenges Buff Bagwell. Uta is terrible in her role and forgets the word “option” for a second or two. She’s the only bad part of this whole presentation. This even works with the Network-dubbed theme, even though the “O Fortuna” knockoff in the original presentation is pretty great. Lex Luger ambushes Gene Okerlund on the ramp. His hair is all akimbo, and he claims that it got that way because Hogan attacked him in his locker room and ran through his bags. Then, he storms off. Did Robbie Rage explode his whole body? Is he still able to walk, much less wrestle? Did he fail to chiggedy-check himself and now has unfortunately wrecked himself? Whither art thou, Robbie Rage? Kenny Kaos comes out to tag not with Rage, but with Prince Iaukea. Iaukea is irritated at Kaos’s enthusiasm. They face off with the Windham Brothers (w/Curt Hennig), who come out to Jeff Jarrett’s first WCW theme, except with lyrics over top of the track. This is a strange match; Kendall and Iaukea start it, and about two-and-a-half minutes later, they end it without ever tagging out. Kendall, uh, drops a knee? and that gets three. The Windham Brothers think this was a bit easy, and they also think Harlem Heat is easy to beat, too. Harlem Heat jog to the ring to respond; there’s a short brawl that the Heat win and, uh, Booker pins Kendall after a side kick, but I guess they don’t win the belts, and the WTR beat them down in a four-on-two attack, and that was a strange fucking segment. Lex Luger is back in the ring with Gene Okerlund to show the world, and of course his buddy Sting, what a scumbag that Hulk Hogan still is. Luger’s got a picture that he says is the smoking gun. It’s just Hogan photoshopped next to a white Hummer. Should have gotten some audio with that picture, bud, you would have nailed him to the wall. Luger is very sorry that he had to expose Hogan like this, which makes him a nicer guy than Bubba the Love Sponge. DDP runs in and randomly knocks Hogan over, then runs away. Sting and Hogan just go back to arguing. What is going on? Who laid out these segments? Van Hammer’s tiny little push is over; I don’t think he’s beating Buff Bagwell. Berlyn’s entourage walks onto the ramp to scout Buff. He dances like an idiot and does the Blockbuster. There. There’s your scouting report. Hammer lazily dominates in the early going, but Buff wins a hip toss, a dropkick, and a clothesline. Buff tries a monkey flip, but Hammer rakes his eyes as he goes up, sits him on the top rope, and beals him. Hammer goes back on top, but he’s very casual about hitting offense or covering. He locks Buff in a sloppy Camel Clutch-ish chinlock, and htakes a few seconds to pose Buff in Bagwell’s common poses. Buff uses the chance to swing a leg into Hammer’s balls, then makes a short comeback that ends with a Blockbuster for three. Recap: Back on Show #192, someone driving a white Hummer plowed into the side of Kevin Nash’s limo with Nash still in it. Was it Hulk Hogan, as Luger claims? No, it was Sid, we already established that in these reviews. Mike Enos faces Evan Karagias in singles action. They quickly tumble outside, where Karagias hits a low dropkick before going back into the ring, trying to springboard onto Enos, and getting caught. Enos hoists him over his shoulder, walks up the stairs, and hucks Karagias into the ring. That was both impressive and anticlimactic. There’s a COUNTDOWN TO WCW MAYHEM (the game) clock that takes up a chunk of the screen while Enos hits offense and the crowd chants for SID, I think; it’s hard to hear. This match has already gone on longer than it needs to, so I’m thinking that maybe Sid is gonna make his way down here. But again, we don’t get Sid; we get the Dead Pool. The ICP surrounds the ring and draws the ref; Vampiro lands a diving back kick on Enos, hits a Nail in the Coffin, and jets so that Karagias can get a win. Vampiro gets in the ring and says that Karagias now owes him. This is like the Raven’s Flock deal, but way worse. Raven successfully got Riggs to join him unlike Vampiro, for one. Some music hits and the KISS DEMON steps out of a coffin. It’s still Crush at this point; I can tell because he talks. He yells at Vampiro. This is truly some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever seen in my life. Jimmy Hart leads Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobbs to the ring. Heenan opines on how tall the KISS Demon must be. It’s Crush! You know it is! He got into a limo with a KISS license plate on the back in a cut segment that we didn’t see on the Network, but that you saw live just a week or two before this show! You have seen Crush many, many times before and surely know his height! Anyway, Dean Malenko and Shane Douglas are their opponents. Knobbs insists on doing some pre-match mic work because he hates me. They have a dull, but somewhat energetic four-man brawl that the First Family members dominate. Eventually, Morrus and Douglas end up as the legal men. On a related note, I wonder how long before Nitro goes back to two hours? I can’t freakin’ WAIT. Eventually, Jimmy Hart tries to stop a Malenko Texas Cloverleaf on Knobbs; he does, at a cost. Morrus helps Knobbs get Malenko at ringside for an obligatory ringside brawl. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Morrus goes for a No Laughing Matter on Shane Douglas and gets only mat. Douglas ends up doing a shitty dive onto all three of the First Family dudes at ringside. This match is one of the more energetic matches that absolutely sucks that I’ve seen in awhile. Anyway, everyone does a crappy brawl in the aisle to a double-count-out. Oh man, Okerlund’s in the ring again to talk to Hulk Hogan again. Again, again, again. These bookers drive some of these storylines into the ground. They’ve shifted from driving Sid’s antics into the ground to driving Hogan/Sting/Luger into the ground. Hogan says he didn’t do the Hummer attack, really, he didn’t, and he has proof, but he’ll, um, show us on Nitro next week. Don’t worry about it. “Fidelity” is Hulk Hogan’s middle name, but he’s thinking about making it his first. F. Hulk Hogan. Yeah, that just looks right. Hogan wants to fight DDP tonight after Page randomly showed up for ten seconds earlier on, so he wants to ask Goldberg if it’s cool if he takes the match against Page instead of a guy who is the top babyface and should probably be the world champ again; it’s been nine months. Hogan: “Diamond Dallas Page has crawled so far up inside of me that I can’t think.” Luger, get out here with a recorder! If you can record this sex tape, I think Hogan’s about to spill his guts! Goldberg proposes a handicap match instead: Hogan and Goldberg vs. the Jersey Triad. Hogan likes that idea; DDP comes onto the ramp with the Triad and does some awful mic work as a way to accept the challenge. Disco Inferno (w/faux-fur vest, psychedelic cowboy hat) is on his way to the ring. Someone tosses an nWo Wolfpac t-shirt at him mid-stride, and he takes it from around his head, looks at the logo, and disdainfully dumps the shirt. Disco does some pre-match self-love. Verbally! He does it verbally. He quotes two ‘90s songs. Hey, that’s not Disco! Disco says that Rick Steiner wants to be him and has his TV title, so get on down here for a tushy-kicking. Rick Steiner comes down and probably is going to bore me to death, but maybe he’ll actually try? That’d be nice. Nope. Disco tells Rick Steiner to crown him figuratively. Steiner crowns him literally, with his forearm. Then, it’s prototypical Steiner face gouges and chokes. He does deign to hit a couple of suplexes before landing a diving bulldog for three. Disco got zero offense in that match, which is fine if it’s Disco, but not fine if it’s Rick Steiner that he’s being fed to. Steiner tosses the ref out of the ring and locks on his shitty armbar after the match until Saturn runs down and basically gets out-punched by Steiner even though Saturn jumped him from behind. Saturn at least lands a superkick, but Steiner just lands outside the ring and strolls away. Man, Rick Steiner sucks so bad. Jimmy Hart matches back out here with Jerry Flynn; Chris Benoit is Flynn’s opponent. Flynn gets resident dumbass Billy Silverman to check Benoit’s boot for some reason so that Flynn can land a cheap shot. Benoit dragon whips his way out of a kick soon after, though, and then he goes to work. He hangs Flynn up on the ropes and absolutely chops the fuck out of the poor bastard. Jimmy Hart tries to intervene and is able to run a pursuing Benoit into a Flynn strike. Flynn controls in the ring for far too long because he’s Jerry Flynn and Chris Benoit is the U.S. Champ, and I don’t care that Flynn had to finagle his way into control both times. Benoit sells way the fuck too much until he dodges a Flynn kick, makes a final comeback, and drills a diving headbutt while Jimmy Hart calls for the troops. They get there before Benoit can get a three count, and the rest of the Revolution runs down and clears the ring. Way to keep your U.S. Champion looking strong! The First Family is a shitty stable, man. Get Ric Flair and some older dudes back here to feud with the Revolution instead as soon as possible. Benoit then calls out Sid even though he struggled to defeat Jerry Flynn and OH NO, is Sid going to win the U.S. Championship to “copy” Goldberg’s undefeated streak? Oh, please no. I like Sid, and I don’t even like Benoit that much, but no. It’s main event time with Michael Buffer! Goldberg and Hulk Hogan are about to go over the whole Jersey Triad. Fucking DDP, with his fucking mic work. Fuck. I have complex feelings about Page. But man, this new attempt at establishing a bunch of bad catchphrases (except for the catchphrase that Booker T. successfully developed) is nearly unwatchable. Bam Bam beats up Hulk Hogan and immediately tries to drop a flying headbutt, but Hogan moves and then all the heels feed for his punches. Red-and-yellow Hogan adjusting to 1999 by saying “ass,” but then doing everything else he’s done for nearly two decades, is some nonsense. Goldberg tags in and overhead suplexes Kanyon; Kanyon does like four flips before landing. He’s no Simone Biles, but I’m impressed. Goldberg is able to ward off Bam Bam and Kanyon trying to hit him, but doesn’t see DDP diving from the top rope and eats a flying clothesline. The Triad does some pretty good triple-teaming, and Page loads his fist and lands a strike to keep Goldberg in trouble as the FIP. The heels do some good quick-tag, double-team stuff. See, I’m conflicted about Page. He’s fun in ring. I do note that he also tries out an elbowdrop with some gaga attached to it. Man, did people borrow liberally from the Rock. Anyway, Goldberg double-clotheslines his way out of trouble and then tags Hogan, who big boots Page (the legal man) out of the ring. Kanyon and Bam Bam attack, but Goldberg spears Kanyon and prepares to Jackhammer him. Page hits Goldberg with a chair while Hogan drops a leg on Bam Bam (not the legal man) and pins him. Page lands a Diamond Cutter on Goldberg as the ref counts, but then Goldberg pretty much gets up and no-sells it anyway. For some reason, Sting doesn’t know that the main event is going on at that moment and tries to get into Hogan’s locker room. He barges in and, uh, Randy Savage is sitting there with Gorgeous George. That’s not really the hook the bookers think it is. Mostly that’s because Sid was obviously driving the Hummer—oh, nevermind. Bad show! -0.5 out of 5 Stinger Splashes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DangerMark Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 5 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: That’s not really the hook the bookers think it is. The Epitaph to WCW. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Fucking DDP, with his fucking mic work. Fuck. I have complex feelings about Page. But man, this new attempt at establishing a bunch of bad catchphrases (except for the catchphrase that Booker T. successfully developed) is nearly unwatchable. I feel like this is probably what it's like to hang out with DDP, good and bad. By all accounts he seems to be an exceedingly nice guy who has helped a lot of people amid also corny as hell. I remember Foley in his book saying that Abdullah the Butcher said Page would make it because he lives his gimmick. Foley also said Page would answer waitresses who asked how he was doing with lines like "I'm doing so good, I'd have to be twins to handle it all!" The heel DDP run here would probably be more worthwhile if DDP really LEANED into the corniness but Page, himself, has NO idea that it's corny. 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Red-and-yellow Hogan adjusting to 1999 by saying “ass,” but then doing everything else he’s done for nearly two decades, is some nonsense. I watched a few minutes of a WWE biography of Goldberg on A&E last night (Man imagine going back to late 90s me and repeating that sentence: "Why is WWE doing a biography show? Why is WWE doing a show about Goldberg? Wait why is ANY of this on the Arts & Entertainment channel?!" ) and it was so infuriatingly giving Hogan praise that I lasted about five minutes. From Bischoff and Goldberg basically giving Hogan all the credit for Goldberg winning the title to Hogan saying that he needed Goldberg to become "another Hulk Hogan" to that annoying talking head WWE always uses talking about Hogan being involved in the greatest matches of alltime! Goldberg praises Hogan for saying "We'll call it in the ring!" , how when you're a young guy you just follow Hogan's lead out there...yeah...That's why the match is something like 80% Hogan controlled! Ugh. Hogan is the WORST. (Editors note: am typing this on my fire tablet that has the most frustrating spellchecker (Routinely changing WCW to EVE; once changed the Edmonton Oilers to the Edmonton Toilets!) But even if understands how terrible Hulk is as I typed that last part out, I typed it out normal and my spellchecker decided to allcaps the word 'worst'!) 13 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Flynn controls in the ring for far too long because he’s Jerry Flynn WCW 's weird inconsistent push is really baffling. Is he Bischoff's karate buddy or something?! I know there's one more push for him coming where he fights "in the blocks". He's just so...Jerry Flynn. There had to be dozens of guys with martial arts backgrounds with better looks and more charisma but WCW keeps coming back to him! By the way, the recap of this show reads like a fever dream or what would happen if you asked AI to create a Nitro script. The pointless undercard matches, the repeated promo segments, the muddled character motivations. It MIGHT be the bottom of the barrel, honestly. Russo, for all his many, many unforgivable faults, would never trot out a Mike Enos-Evan Karagias match! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 5 Author Share Posted August 5 9 hours ago, DangerMark said: The Epitaph to WCW. One of a possible many. 42 minutes ago, caley said: I feel like this is probably what it's like to hang out with DDP, good and bad. By all accounts he seems to be an exceedingly nice guy who has helped a lot of people amid also corny as hell. I remember Foley in his book saying that Abdullah the Butcher said Page would make it because he lives his gimmick. Foley also said Page would answer waitresses who asked how he was doing with lines like "I'm doing so good, I'd have to be twins to handle it all!" The heel DDP run here would probably be more worthwhile if DDP really LEANED into the corniness but Page, himself, has NO idea that it's corny. To the bolded part of your post, I respond: That is BADA BING, BADA BOOM, BADA BANGGGGGG on. When he was cigar-and-jewels Page, it worked because that was how he was portrayed. He just never changed it up as his character progressed. Quote I watched a few minutes of a WWE biography of Goldberg on A&E last night (Man imagine going back to late 90s me and repeating that sentence: "Why is WWE doing a biography show? Why is WWE doing a show about Goldberg? Wait why is ANY of this on the Arts & Entertainment channel?!" ) and it was so infuriatingly giving Hogan praise that I lasted about five minutes. From Bischoff and Goldberg basically giving Hogan all the credit for Goldberg winning the title to Hogan saying that he needed Goldberg to become "another Hulk Hogan" to that annoying talking head WWE always uses talking about Hogan being involved in the greatest matches of alltime! Goldberg praises Hogan for saying "We'll call it in the ring!" , how when you're a young guy you just follow Hogan's lead out there...yeah...That's why the match is something like 80% Hogan controlled! Ugh. Hogan is the WORST. I haven't seen those A&E Biography shows on past wrestlers, and I feel like I was turned off by hearing that Hulk Hogan was a talking head on the Randy Savage episode and spent his time tossing dirt on Savage's grave. Bischoff's undying love for the Hulkster makes sense, though. Bisch made a lot of money post-WCW being Hogan's manager, essentially, in both TNA and working on stuff like Hogan's celebrity wrestling show. Quote (Editors note: am typing this on my fire tablet that has the most frustrating spellchecker (Routinely changing WCW to EVE; once changed the Edmonton Oilers to the Edmonton Toilets!) But even if understands how terrible Hulk is as I typed that last part out, I typed it out normal and my spellchecker decided to allcaps the word 'worst'!) Not only was your tablet's spellchecker right about Hogan, but many a Calgary Flames fan would say that it was right about the Edmonton Toilets. Quote WCW 's weird inconsistent push is really baffling. Is he Bischoff's karate buddy or something?! I know there's one more push for him coming where he fights "in the blocks". He's just so...Jerry Flynn. There had to be dozens of guys with martial arts backgrounds with better looks and more charisma but WCW keeps coming back to him! Flynn's not bad, but he just doesn't have it to be pushed beyond "jobber on WCWSN." I didn't realize that he was around and got this level of push into 1999, either. I thought he'd go the way of Roadblock and Rick Fuller and other semi-memorable underneath guys, but he stuck it out and even got featured in feuds. I think at the point he was randomly tagging with Fit Finlay on Starrcade '98, it dawned on me that the guys running WCW just really liked the dude. Quote By the way, the recap of this show reads like a fever dream or what would happen if you asked AI to create a Nitro script. The pointless undercard matches, the repeated promo segments, the muddled character motivations. It MIGHT be the bottom of the barrel, honestly. Russo, for all his many, many unforgivable faults, would never trot out a Mike Enos-Evan Karagias match! You know, Enos/Karagias sounds wonky, but it was okay to watch, actually. This got way fewer minus Stinger Splashes than most shows because the wrestling was generally watchable, and the Rey/Eddy tag match was genuinely fun and good. It was kind of an extended Thunder in that way, and what really dragged the show down is a) almost every angle and b) the terrible layout and booking decisions in almost every match. It's just that Nitro will often have a) and b) and then only book six or seven matches besides, at least in my view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: Not only was your tablet's spellchecker right about Hogan, but many a Calgary Flames fan would say that it was right about the Edmonton Toilets After the Oilers hired Stan Bowman a week or two back (Former Blackhawks GM who swept one of his own players being raped by the video coach under the rug so as to not distract from their pursuit of another Cup, AND recommending said coach for a job at a HS where he assaulted someone else!), I think that's the consensus about the Oil right now (and I say this as a lifelong Oilers fan!). 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 5 Share Posted August 5 I can't help but wonder if DDP was trying to do some Meta Heel thing by obviously ripping off the rock Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 8 hours ago, caley said: WCW 's weird inconsistent push is really baffling. Is he Bischoff's karate buddy or something?! I know there's one more push for him coming where he fights "in the blocks". He's just so...Jerry Flynn. There had to be dozens of guys with martial arts backgrounds with better looks and more charisma but WCW keeps coming back to him! well, we know that Bischoff had an affinity for martial arts guys (Glacier, Ernest Miller, etc.) so Flynn fits that background. He also competed in a legitimate MMA match (he lost) before his WCW run, so maybe that was a factor? i maintain that's a reason Craig Pittman was given a push in the same era. i don't know if there's a way to look up kickboxing records, but i can't find Lightning Foot's anywhere. i don't remember much about "the blocks" but i do remember something involving Tank Abbott? Maybe that was the same thing? also, how sad is it that we never got Jerry Flynn vs. Jerry Lynn? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 6 Author Share Posted August 6 Thunder Interlude – show number seventy-eight – 2 September 1999 "The WCW Gang works around some crappy angle and mic work stuff to do good wrestling, as is Thunder's way for most of the Bischoff Era (because no one pays too much attention to Thunder in the Bischoff Era)" I didn’t get to Thunder yesterday, so let’s go ahead and do it now… Hogan + White Hummer angle = Let’s not have this all over my still semi-consistently nice little wrestling show, please… The White Hummer angle, an angle that I can’t believe that people still ask Eric Bischoff about (that's his claim, at least), gets a short recap…Sure, whatever, just keep it brief… Larry Z.: “We’re in the state of Michigan, but Sting must be in a state of confusion”…This guy… Bumper: Lex Luger promises to shock the world with his proof that Hulk Hogan sucks back on Nitro… I shouldn’t have even bothered to request not getting this dumb angle all over my still semi-consistently nice little wrestling show, huh?... Diamond Dallas Page is in the ring to do his thing…”His thing” is bad mic work followed by good wrestling, as you well know…He hypes his upcoming match against Goldberg at Fall Brawl…I’m here for it…Page is easily Goldberg’s best opponent…Goldberg might be Page’s…But Sting is probably Page’s best opponent…DDP kills off Al Green without much trouble…He does some “your mama” shit toward Green before the match, and the crowd has the temerity to go HOW FAT IS SHE when DDP starts his joke…Fuck off, Saginaw, you're oh-for-one…Page hits a floatover Diamond Cutter and takes his sweet time to cover, but of course gets three anyway… Dave Taylor (w/Lord Steven Regal) matches up against Shane Douglas (w/Dean Malenko)…Taylor tries to jump on Douglas, but runs into a front suplex and then gets his neck snapped…Taylor bails and resets…He controls and locks on a kneebar while the crowd chants U-S-A…You’re oh-for-two, Saginaw…Regal tries to help out, but conks into Taylor not once, but twice…The first time only nets two on a roll-up for Douglas, but the second time allows Douglas to hit Taylor with a Pittsburgh Plunge while Malenko handles Regal outside…That gets three, but then we have a series of post-match run-ins…First, Chris Adams runs down and hits Douglas with a flagpole…Benoit is down soon after to take care of him…The whole First Family rushes down, but the Revolution finally looks strong and takes care of the whole lot…Douglas again does a bit of somewhat crappy mic work after the match…He challenges the First Family to an eight-man, no-DQ tag at Fall Brawl…So, an eight-man tornado tag?...If it’s no DQ, but people are tagging in and out and the ref is enforcing tags, I’m going to complain incessantly about it… Larry Z. gives us a history lesson in which he ties the fall of the wall to a new generation of aggressive athletes from the former Soviet block, including Berlyn…Um, Alex Wright is from Nuremburg…That’s in West Germany…Eh, Larry Z. is underestimating the ability of the typical wrestling fan to look at an atlas, I get it, but as an atlas-owning future and current DVDVR poster, I am offended (especially since I won that atlas in a geography bee!)… Kaz Hayashi is wrestling El Dandy, and if Sid brings his lovable, yet currently annoying-as-fuck ass down here…Kaz and Dandy have a pacey match…Cool spot alert: Dandy hangs backward by his toes over the apron…Instead of setting up to do a springboard legdrop, Kaz just casually kicks Dandy’s feet away from the ropes so that Dandy splats on the mats below…I love Psicosis, but he would have taken thirty seconds setting up for a legdrop while Dandy just hung there…Kaz’s idea was better…There’s a nice little chop-off that leads into some Dandy control…Unfortunately for Dandy, he whiffs on a second-rope Vader splash… Kaz gets back into the match…He rips off a slingshot DDT that should get three, but only gets two…Kaz’s suplex attempt is blocked…Dandy sits him on the top rope and tries a superplex, but Kaz lands a super front suplex and follows up with a senton splash for three…That was short, but it was fun as hell…What a nice little three-minute sprint…Aw, fuck, Sid came out here after the match…Kaz tries to attack and, oh look, even though he just pinned the Cruiserweight Champ in the past week, he means nothing, really…Eat a sack of rotting Rocky Mountain Oysters, WCW…Sid blathers on after he finishes destroying these nothing little cruiserweights…Other than the Goldberg threats, Sid says that Chris Benoit is the only guy in the Revolution worth a damn, basically (that probably ends up being true, but I think Saturn has use as an upper-midcard gatekeeper in WCW, even if not in the WWF)…Sid says that it’s a shame the Revolution is sending Benoit out to get his ass kicked by him at Fall Brawl… Lenny Lane (w/Lodi) defends the Cruiserweight Championship…Ol’ Lenny put a bow on his title to pretty it up…But, um, it’s the sort of bow that you put on a Christmas present…I don’t think that’s the type of decorative bow that one might put on a title…Billy Kidman is Lane’s opponent…These fellas do some mat wrestling to start so that Lane can ride Kidman’s arm on an arm bar...*sigh*…Lenny skips around the ring after hitting a leapover...Look at this broke-ass Lanny Poffo…This stinks…The crowd briefly starts chanting a slur at Lane…Oh-for-THREE, Saginaw…I pretty much hate this match and all the shitty shtick…If you’re going to do an objectionable “feminine male wrestler” gimmick, at least be as good as the Genius…I’m not even asking for gimmick work at the quality of Adrian Street or Goldust, as I know that is entirely beyond a guy like Lane… There’s a break in this match as Lane hits a sit-out front slam out of a wheelbarrow for two…We come back to Kidman firing up into a comeback, but missing a corner splash and eating a bulldog for two…Lane is actually okay when he’s in there with someone better than him and is toning down on the shtick…But he has all this hacky material that he’s also awful at delivering, which he’s obliged to do…They work a straight series of near falls that’s both hot and good and that raises this whole match to at least watchable…Of course, there’s soon a ref bump…Hey, why is Charles Robinson allowed to ref and also second Sid out to run in on matches?...Someone get a kayfabe WCW President who is finally going to handle these rogue refs…While the ref is down, Lodi sticks Kidman with a DDT after Kidman gets a visual three count…Robinson recovers and counts Lodi’s cover, but Kidman kicks out at two… Kidman knocks Lodi off the apron and reverses a powerbomb into a face crusher for two…He goes up for the SSP…Lodi immediately jumps up and knocks Kidman off the ropes, drawing a DQ…Lodi tries to attack Kidman, but Rey comes down and helps Kidman take Lodi out…Misterio drops a Bronco Buster Rough Rider on Lodi besides…Hey, even Rey and the WCW announcers can’t decide what to call it…There was a good competitive match in between the opening garbage shtick and the ending ref bump nonsense… Chris Benoit comes to the ring with the Revolution and responds to Sid…His promo is just fine…He downplays the fact that he probably does have slightly higher potential than everyone else in the group…Saturn grabs the mic and is also fine…He’s facing Sid later tonight and says that the Revolution is hunting Sid like Sid is hunting cruiserweights and also Goldberg… Promo: Coach Buzz Stern doing a mediocre impression of Power Plant trainer Buddy Lee Parker is not the wave…All the “comedy” in these sketches has sucked real bad…They explicitly name one of the trainees specifically, so maybe that guy’ll be on TV too…We’ll see… WCW choosing to destroy its tag team division really benefitted Disorderly Conduct…They get to be on Nitro and Thunder way more often…They’ll be looking up at the lights tonight once again, this time due to Harlem Heat…Tuff Tom tries to get the jump on Booker, but he gets tossed to the floor…the Heat drop Mean Mike with a stalling double vertical suplex…The Heat basically coast from there…They land a Big Apple Blast for three…The Windham Brothers run in and attack the Heat after the match…It goes poorly for them…Duncum tried to get in the ring and didn’t even get past the apron… Scotty Riggs admires himself in the mirror…He faces Prince Iaukea…You know, it’s funny…Iaukea got the TV title too early in his progression as an in-ring worker as a mirror of Rocky Maivia…Then, Iaukea actually became a solid worker and they immediately stopped giving him any type of a push…I don’t even think he needs an actual push, really…Just having him be a win some/lose some midcarder would have made more sense than having him lose to everyone all the time…Anyway, Iaukea jumps Riggs while Riggs looks at his reflection…Riggs comes back and lands a nice-looking dropkick…This is a decent little TV bout…Riggs and Iaukea end up brawling on the floor…Iaukea follows Riggs back into the ring, but whiffs on a dive…Riggs quickly lands a Rocker Dropper for three… Goldberg crushes the Cat (w/Sonny Onoo)…What is this, December of 1998?...No, you’re telling me that it’s ten months later…Yeah, the timing on this bout is about right for WCW…Miller promises to “shake up the world,” but he’s no Ali and Goldberg is no Sonny Liston…Miller wants to beat Goldberg and then Hulk Hogan afterwards in the same night…He sends Sonny Onoo to the back so that everyone can see him do this all on his own…Miller: “[Goldberg,] I’m gon’ put this mic up your ass so far that tonight [the fans] will hear me kicking your ass”…OK, after all that shit talking, this match should take no more than thirty seconds…The Cat kicks Goldberg in the throat with his ruby slipper on…Goldberg coughs a bit, clears his throat, and hits a spear and a Jackhammer, as it should be… Perry Saturn comes back to the ring to face Sid in the Thunder main event…Sid backs Saturn into the corner on a lockup…He misses a boot, then a fist, and then rushes toward Saturn against the ropes...As it turns out, Saturn just yanks the top rope down, and Sid falls to the floor…However, when Sid gets back on the apron, he easily out-strikes Saturn and takes over…That was a very neat series of spots that immediately illustrated the “speed versus power” story of this matchup…Saturn again uses his quickness to duck a Sid attack, land a side kick, and clothesline Sid to the floor…He tries to follow up with a slingshot splash, but Sid catches him and drapes him across the guardrail… Give me Sid wrestling a smaller, agile wrestler ALL DAY…Sid’s best matches are all with guys 6’1 or under who are quick and at least reasonably athletic…I am not surprised that this is a fun match…Sid gets Saturn back in the ring and stomps at him, but runs into a boot on a corner charge and eats a missile dropkick…Saturn tries to follow up with a sunset flip, but Sid easily blocks it, goozles Saturn, and hits a chokeslam…Sid is slow to follow up because he thinks he’s safe…He stomps Saturn, then tears at his lips, puts on a rope-assisted chinlock, and lands some forearms…Saturn fights up out of a regular old chinlock, ducks a clothesline, but leaps into a front slam that gets two…Saturn really needs to stop leaping at Sid like that… Sid also needs to stop trying corner charges, as he misses his second of the match…Saturn lands an inverted atomic drop and a springboard forearm…Sid scrambles to the corner, but Saturn follows and lands punches…Aw FUCK, Rick Steiner walks in and attacks Saturn, drawing a DQ…This match was GOOD…I want more Sid/Saturn now…Dean Malenko runs in for the save…He picks up the TV title that Steiner brought out and dropped for some reason, then hits Steiner with it…That match was so fun that even with the non-ending, I really enjoyed it…It’s not Sid or Saturn’s fault that Rick Steiner and WCW’s booking committee ruin everything…But yeah, I loved that they laid out the strategic story of the match early and then reinforced it with two spots where Saturn tried leaping at Sid and having Sid's strength win out, but also two spots where Sid tried running at Saturn and having Saturn's speed and agility win out...Sid is never a mere passenger in these fun or good matches against smaller guys that people love and remember, but that's the false narrative that I guess a lot of internet fans have settled on... Hey, WCW didn’t run the return of the white Hummer angle into the ground…They got that out of the way in the first five minutes…Then, they proceeded to put on a pretty good wrestling show outside of Lenny Lane doing awful shtick…I really do like you, Thunder…You have an unfair reputation that you probably got because of Vince Russo paying more attention to you…I give this one a WOOOOO… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 6 Share Posted August 6 1 hour ago, SirSmUgly said: Ol’ Lenny put a bow on his title to pretty it up…But, um, it’s the sort of bow that you put on a Christmas present…I don’t think that’s the type of decorative bow that one might put on a title I would love to be a fly on the wall in WCW creative where they discuss whether or not homosexuals love Christmas. Though to be honest, Lane's Wikipedia pretty much says the entire angle was his and Lodi's idea so most likely he found a bow laying around and just put it on there. He could've at least bought some glittery stickers for it! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spaceman Spiff Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 (edited) Quote Kaz gets back into the match…He rips off a slingshot DDT that should get three, but only gets two…Kaz’s suplex attempt is blocked…Dandy sits him on the top rope and tries a superplex, but Kaz lands a super front suplex and follows up with a senton splash for three…That was short, but it was fun as hell…What a nice little three-minute sprint Kinda feel like Kaz and Dandy were being extremely genre savvy here. "Look, Sid'll be out here any minute now, 1 of us needs to pick up the win as quickly as possible so at least 1 of us gets to visit the pay window." Also kinda hoping we get some more "one triple nine" references in these recaps. Edited August 7 by Spaceman Spiff 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 7 Author Share Posted August 7 (edited) Show #205 – 6 September 1999 “The last one before Eric Bischoff is ejected from his executive position and sent back to Wyoming and is best summed up as three hours of pure Krustywhatthehellwasthat.jpg that I think may have brainwashed me somehow after viewing it” Bischoff’s reign of creative terror is almost over! YESSSSSSS Russo’s reign of creative terror is about to begin! NOOOOOOO Bischoff is four days out from getting sent back to Wyoming to terrorize river trout instead of wrestling fans. It’s wild that they fired him two days BEFORE a PPV, though. Fucking WCW. Schiller and Co. are also idiots, not just Bischoff. Boy, do I hate Nitro’s newest theme. It’s been months of shows, and I’ve decided that if a TV show’s theme can somehow be described as “edgelord,” this show’s theme can. We have more weird audio overlap to start the show. I checked my phone initially, as I have women’s Olympic basketball on mute at the same time that I watch this show, but no, it was good ol’ WCW production. Fuckin’ Craig Leathers. (I joke a lot about Craig Leathers and blame him for everything production-wise, but I’m not serious about it. I’m aware that Leathers is just doing the best he can for this goofy-ass company.) The Hitman! Bret Hart comes down in street clothes. That is the first time that Bret’s “Hart Attack” knockoff caused my brain to flood with dopamine when I heard the opening riff. That might be the only time it happens, honestly. I’m not even going to snark on poor Tony’s show formatting sheet being wrong and making the guy sound like a doofus as he kicks it to the ring. Bret’s been hitting the weights lately because that dude’s shoulders and arms look bigger than I’ve seen them. Or maybe it’s just the t-shirt he's wearing. I wish Bret had just retired at the Georgia Dome because he’s got three more months before Goldberg throws a wild kick and puts him out of wrestling anyway, but at a physical cost in addition to the emotional cost of wrestling that he's already paid. The Hitman wants to wrestle Hulk Hogan already, dammit. Bret says that he’s got to do this before he decides whether to come back full time or just hang 'em up after that; notably, when he says that Hogan has a claim to being the greatest of all-time, there is a small HO-GAN chant and also a smattering of boos. I thought Bret was going to ask for a match against Chris Benoit, actually. Anyway, Bret leaves the ring after asking for that match. Riki Rachtman is still in this company?! I hadn’t seen this dude in awhile. He’s going to be hosting this Nitro Girls competition. Let’s hope WCW drops this thing like it does everything else because I’m already irritated about it. And I say this as the Nitro Girls come out to join Rachtman on the ramp! Kimberly helps out with the talking and helps Rachtman introduce this thing. Then, we get some videos of prospective Nitro Girls. Meh, no offense to these ladies, but I don’t care. Put on a wrestling match. It doesn’t help that Rachtman is annoying as FUCK. Kimberly is charming as hell, though. Why do we need Rachtman at all for this? At least half the Nitro Girls are enjoyable talkers and could share these hosting duties amongst themselves. Alright, a match! It’s a match with Lenny Lane and Lodi doing their annoying fucking act, but still, a match! Lodi holds a sign that says STOP THE HATE, and I agree, so I guess he’s the babyface somehow? He’s also got a sign that says WEST HOLLYWOOD BLONDES, which is the first time that this nomenclature has been used for these fellas on screen, at least as far as the shows that I’ve seen. Evan Karagias comes out as Lodi’s opponent. Some plant holding a LODI RULES sign does a pratfall over the guardrail and gets carted out. There’s just too much going on, man. Finally, we focus on the match, as Karagias hits a Sky High for two, then throws some terrible punches in the corner. Karagias knocks Lane off the apron and continues to land offense on Lodi. After a neckbreaker, he gets mixed up as to which side he should be headed toward before switching directions and springboarding onto Lane at ringside. The Dead Pool comes out at the same time and get on the apron after Karagias is back in the ring; they distract Karagias by just starting at him, and Lodi jumps Karagias from behind, lands a top-rope bulldog, and hits a DDT for three. That was a very, very, very busy match. Gene Okerlund interviews Hulk Hogan in the ring. There are only six days until Fall Brawl, so we should get some angle progression, right? He denies knowing that Randy Savage was in his locker room last week [Editor's note: Savage doesn't even show up later in this episode] and accuses Lex Luger of causing all these problems for him. Hogan shows how detached from the everyday financial lives of his Hulkamaniacs he truly is by saying that his East Coast Hummer is all-black and his West Coast Hummer is all-white - I’ll leave the obvious jokes that might be made about this proclamation to the side – but the Hummer that hit Nash’s limo was white with a black top, and he doesn’t own a Hummer like that. I guess what Hogan’s saying is that he’s anti-miscegenation. OK, sorry, I couldn’t help myself but make an obvious joke, for which I dearly apologize. Hogan says that Luger is “on the take,” which means that actually Tatanka is the one on the take somehow. He also says “kick some ass,” because that’s how you make the yellow-and-red have some ‘90s ‘tude. There’ll be a tag match in a cage for the main event tonight, and Hogan will be in it. I love that the final major act overseen by Eric Bischoff during his initial creative oversight of the show will be to set in motion a face turn for Hogan and a heel turn for Sting in 1999 WCW. Beautiful, practically the booking equivalent a melodic song, don't change a note, Eric, you doofus. Barry Horowitz comes out in a glittery tux-styled vest and calls himself THE BADDEST WRESTLER ALIVE TODAY into the camera. I like the confidence! He’s facing Al Green, so I’m just going to chill until Sid makes it out here. In the meantime, Tony S. spends some time selling a million-dollar giveaway that Bischoff will (semi-famously?) chew him out over not selling enough. Tony S. claims to have then shilled it like some sort of lunatic the next time around and had Bischoff praise him, unless he’s previously shilled it before and got yelled at. I don't know, the timeline's a little tight because Bischoff is sent home on the Friday after this show. Uh, some piano music plays, which also happened on the Nitro previous to this one. At the same time that the music starts, Sid runs down. We miss a bit of Sid’s beatdown because THE MAESTRO is sitting on stage and playing piano while Sid kills the jobbers in the ring. What is happening right now? Do I need meds? Am I having a fever dream? What in the absolute hell?! Sid talks about facing Chris Benoit for the U.S. Championship at Fall Brawl and does his whole Millennium Man deal on the mic. There is another hour-and-a-half of this show to go, and I can’t imagine it getting weirder than that first half-hour. The WTRs sit in the back and complain about Harlem Heat putting Bobby Duncum out with injuries; is this the last we've seen of Duncum on WCW television? He accidentally OD's and passes away in early 2000. So, as the WTRs talk about getting revenge on the Heat at Fall Brawl, someone kicks the door in, bathed by a bright light. Is that Kendall who quotes Blazing Saddles while looking up in surprise? Someone, I think him, exclaims, “What in the Wide, Wide World of Sports?!” and I laughed. I laughed even harder when Hennig confusedly asked VINCENT?! But he's not Vincent, nor Virgil! He’s Curly Bill! Holy shit, then as Curly Bill calls himself “the biggest redneck in the world,” the WTRs quote that series of early ‘90s Pace Picante commercials (“[Curly Bill’s from] the south side of what? NEW YORK CITY?!”) These fucking dads and their dad references. The WTRs agree to give Curly Bill an opportunity to join them later tonight. What the fuck, man, this segment was also bananas, but it was so dumb, and I laughed more than enough for it to be quite enjoyable. Harlem Heat joins Gene Okerlund in the ring for a little talky-talk time. It’s boilerplate stuff; Booker decides to play Colloquialism Roulette and then accidentally knocks Okerlund’s mic out of his hands. Boy, this Nitro is fucking strange. I don’t believe in omens, but this feels like a Nitro that is desperately trying to signal that something shocking like Bischoff getting sent home is about to happen. Stevie drops a NINE-TIME, NINE-TIME, and wow, he is way better at dropping that line than DDP. Oh, this is the famous segment that provides the well-used GIF where Stevie mean mugs the camera for so long that he finds it too hilarious to keep a straight face any longer. That genuinely got me to laugh, too. This Nitro is something, man. Sting and Lex Luger bust in on Bret Hart and Hulk Hogan having a conversation in Hogan's locker room. Sting wants five minutes of Hogan’s time, and Hogan, upset, says that Sting will get those five minutes and storms away from him. That’s it. We don’t see them actually take five minutes of one another’s time before we cut away. Wait, we come back to Hogan yelling YOU SET ME UP at Luger while Bret tries to help a downed Sting up from the floor. What the fuck? What was the sequence of events that would have led to this? So, hold on. When we left, before the break, Hogan was talking to Sting. He got up from his chair and stormed off camera, saying he’d give Sting five minutes of his time. We came back to Sting down and Bret, Luger, and Hogan standing over him. So, what mystery is there? Either Bret or Luger knocked him out right then and there. It’s not like Sting followed Hogan off screen, after all. OK, I see. What I thought was a commercial break with a cut from one segment to the next was actually just the same uninterrupted segment in which the lights (randomly?!) cut out. So, someone knocked Sting out in the five seconds that the lights were out, soundlessly because I didn’t hear anything. This probably came across better live because on the Network, they don’t always stick a commercial break in other shows that have a “cut to black, show commercials, then come back immediately with the next segment” format. This mimicked that sort of format, but as it turns out, it wasn't actually a pair of segments around a break; it was a full segment with a spot where the lights went out. Whoa, this was weird, too, and doubly weird watching it on the Network. There’s going to be a 12-man battle royal for a world title shot up next. OK, what the fuck? This is insane. Get these rules: The first four men thrown over the top rope are eliminated from a chance to get the shot. The next six men eliminated from the battle royal are going to face each other in a series of singles matches later tonight based on their order of elimination. What they are fighting for, I have no idea. The final two men remaining will fight later tonight for the world title shot, given to them on next week's Nitro. All these rules, if not contradict, confuse what it said on the screen right before the rules screen came up, which is that the last man standing (which one would assume is traditionally the winner of the battle royal) gets a world title shot next week. What in sweet fuck is happening?!?! So, those are the battle royale rules. The First Family, Revolution, and WTRs are the participants. I don’t know, folks, let me just run down some eliminations: The first four out who are eliminated from the world title shot competition for good, unless WCW decides otherwise and doesn’t tell me until Curly Bill is randomly getting a world title shot on some Thunder next month: Brian Knobbs, Curly Bill, Barbarian, and Curt Hennig. The next six out who are now prepared to wrestle one another in singles matches for some reason or prize; I don’t know what they get or why they are now wrestling singles matches against one another: Kendall Windham, Shane Douglas, Barry Windham, Jerry Flynn, Hugh Morrus, and Perry Saturn. The final two men remaining who will wrestle for a world title shot: Chris Benoit and Dean Malenko. So, that means that Kendall Windham will face Shane Douglas, Barry Windham will face Jerry Flynn, and Hugh Morrus will face Perry Saturn later tonight. Again, for no particular reason, which Tony S. reinforces on commentary. Miami typically has awful Nitro crowds in my opinion, but even considering their very low baseline for vocal enjoyment of a WCW show, they anti-popped for this whole segment and didn’t care about either Benoit or Malenko. They’ve been bad all night, per usual, but this match seems to have drained them to a point that they’re an even shittier crowd than they normally are. Johnny Swinger is out here now. Sure, why not? I’ll keep a DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! counter for you fine folks who end up reading this [Editor's note: Zero on the counter, wow!]. Prince Iaukea is his opponent. I immediately am looking for Sid. So is the crowd, which lands a weak SID chant for ten seconds before the bell. I’ll tell you if and when Sid shows up. The crowd gets restless three minutes in and starts a longer, more sustained WE WANT SID chant. There’s a weird audio issue yet again and Tony S. sounds like he’s commentating in a tunnel. The Dead Pool comes to the ring instead of Sid. Shaggy occupies the ref and Vampiro nails Swinger with a Nail in the Coffin; Iaukea covers for three and is immediately cornered by the Dead Pool, who expect Iaukea to pay them back. Why was any of this on Nitro? Thunder, I could understand. But Nitro? We are just hitting an hour into this show. There’s still more, somehow! I feel like this Nitro has been three Nitros long, but I’m also oddly sort of enjoying this in a “what nonsensical shit will Bischoff/Nash/Sullivan throw out here next” sort of way. Earlier today, Buff Bagwell autographed shirts at a merch stand for his fans; Berlyn showed up and said something in German, and these snot-nosed teens standing around went OHHHHHH even though none of them understand a word of German. Bagwell/Berlyn is on for Fall Brawl. I was under the assumption that Duggan/Berlyn was Berlyn's first match, and oh no, does Buff get hurt and get subbed for by Duggan? Lord Steven Regal (w/Dave Taylor) faces Buff Bagwell next. Supposed babyface Buff Bagwell engages the crowd by starting a U-S-A chant, which is the most engaged these fans have been all night. In my opinion, Miami is what you get if you take Atlanta, add beaches, and lose all the things that make Atlanta charming and fun. This match exists and is perfectly fine, but it would have been more fine if Regal got more of an extended heel control segment. As it ends up, Bagwell gets a ton of offense in (as it should be from a booking standpoint if not an artistic one) and Regal never really gets on track. He tries to connect with Taylor on a flagpole bonking, but Buff moves and Taylor bonks Regal, the latter of whom stumbles into position for a Blockbuster that gets three. Buff gets a mic after the match and verbally fucks the flag for a bit before threatening Berlyn. Buff: “When you step on my toes, you’re steppin’ on Miami’s toes. You’re steppin’ on toes that you don’t want to be steppin’ on…You’re not just fightin’ Buff, daddy, you’re fightin’ THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.” This was so bad that it defies belief. Buff Bagwell could be the worst babyface of all time. Marcus Bagwell was fine at being a plucky young rookie; Buff Bagwell is the least likeable wrestler in the company other than the Hulkster. Juventud Guerrera is dressed like Billy Kidman – white tank and blue jorts – and joins Psicosis and Blitzkrieg (the last of whom is already in the ring for some reason) to oppose Billy Kidman, Chavo Guerrero Jr., and Eddy Guerrero. They all brawl to start, and Juvi hits a spinebuster on Eddy. For a second, I wondered why Kidman was hitting Eddy with a spinebuster. Fucking Juventud. I assume he’s dressed like this for some spot later in the match, especially after Tony S. explicitly points it out on commentary. If not, who the hell let him go out there like that? The wrestlers eschew tags some of the time, and they make tags some of the time. Chavo and Kidman are friends again – no, wait, they’re not. After teaming up on a double dropkick on Blitzkrieg, they both go for a pinfall attempt and Chavo gets irritated that Kidman nudges him out of the way. Now, Juvi and Kidman go at it. Juvi misses a splash and gets punched a lot by Kidman; Kidman throws punches at one point while mounted on a kneeling Juvi, and Juvi stands up and lifts Kidman for a Psicosis missile dropkick. Juvi covers for two, but Chavo makes the save. Juvi eventually loses his shirt, which makes it easier for me to tell you that Juvi’s the one hit by a Sky High. The Dead Pool comes out and observes the proceedings. The match has broken down again and it occurs to me that this feud with the Dead Pool is a heck of a waste of Eddy and Rey both. Blitz decides not to help Psicosis out of a jam and instead tries to hit a dive onto Chavo; he misses and hits Juvi. Chavo follows with his own dive, and back in the ring, Kidman reverses a powerbomb into a face crusher; Eddy follows up with a Frog Splash for three. Strange little match! Post-match, Chavo and Kidman make up over the confusion on the pinfall attempt, so I guess Chavo’s a babyface again. While the Nitro Girls do a dance routine, Tony S. drops a ONE MILLLLION DOLLARS to promote the money give-away thing and also to show that he’s seen Austin Powers. It’s Kendall Windham versus Shane Douglas. I guess what they get is a second opportunity to go to the PAY WINDAH or something. It really bothers me that they’re wrestling for no reason other than they went out of the battle royal one after the other, but not before four other men went out previous to them. Shane Douglas on the mic: MIAMI, ARE YOU READY FOR A REVOLUTION?! Miami crowd: *crickets*. Bobby Heenan on commentary: THEY’RE READY! God, this Nitro episode is so fucking stupid. What an experience. Anyway, what follows is an okay match with an obligatory ringside brawl. Douglas takes the brunt of the offense in that ringside brawl, but makes a comeback when it gets back into the ring. Curt Hennig runs down and clocks Douglas after Windham diverts the ref. We see the Revolution watching the match in the back, and they see Harlem Heat run down and attack Hennig while Douglas recovers enough to hit Windham with a Pittsburgh Plunge for three. On the replay, we see that Stevie hit Kendall with a slapjack while Booker talked to the ref, which the production truck missed on first viewing. Stevie mugs the camera and cracks me up again. Tony S. promotes a new video called WCW Mayhem, with the Mayhem logo, that covers the first four years of Nitro. That won’t be confusing when WCW Mayhem, the November PPV, also hits video stores! Not in the least! Barry Windham (w/Curly Bill) faces Jerry Flynn (w/Jimmy Hart) in the next match. I really get a kick out of this Curly Bill thing. Virgil is such a leech. He gloms onto any damn group out there that’ll take him. Flynn and Windham are extremely boring. I didn’t expect Kendall to have a more engaging match than Barry tonight, but here we are. Hart grabs Windham’s ankle on a rope run, and Bill runs over and chokes Hart out. Then, after Flynn lands a running wheel kick that sends him out of the ring, Bill hammers Flynn with one of the tag belts and rolls him back inside for a Windham DDT that ends the match. Berlyn and his entourage come onto the ramp; Okerlund’s there to get frisked before interviewing both Berlyn and Uta Ludendorff, who you and I both know is probably just Megan Walters from Dubuque, Iowa. Berlyn talks and Uta translates; Berlyn’s like, Buff didn’t challenge me first, I challenged him first at that merch stand, stupid. Okerlund’s like, What, I didn’t understand that, and I actually don’t need Uta to translate that Berlyn is like Learn to speak German, you American fucking idiot, and that goes for the lot of you. That two years of German in college is paying off! The crowd boos because being multilingual is UN-AMERICAN, DAMMIT. Monolingualism for everyone! U-S-A! U-S-A! Berlyn thinks that German culture is the best. I don’t know. I like Remarque, but I don’t like Realpolitik as a long-term strategy for keeping world peace. It’s like any other culture with its ups and downs. Okerlund: “This German thing, folks, has gone far enough!” Hey, that’s the exact same thing Jewish Czechs said in 1938. What? You can’t expect me not to riff on that Okerlund comment. I apologize for any and all questionable taste in that riff. Jimmy Hart’s right back out here with Hugh Morrus, who if you’ll recall is facing Perry Saturn as the last two guys to get eliminated from the earlier battle royal. Tony S. shouts out Brian Hildebrand, who passed away only two days after this show aired. Speaking of questionable taste, Heenan, you don’t have to stay in character to give your love to Hildebrand (“He’s the only referee I’ve ever liked”). It’s okay to say something nice without considering kayfabe in this case. While Saturn tries to get something solid out of Hugh Morrus, I wonder to myself how long this version of the First Family even lasts. Barbarian is cooked, I assume that Flynn’s run is on borrowed time, and the Misfits in Action don’t last through the end of the company, so they must be coming up pretty soon if they are around for awhile, but not by the time Nitro is cancelled. I would guess that as soon as Russo is in the company, the First Family gets picked apart and re-packaged. Saturn gains leverage in the match early and tries to hit a move on Morrus as Morrus is seated on the top rope, but Hart holds Morrus’s boot down, and Morrus tosses Saturn to the mat. Morrus is trying to get a two-elbowdrops-and-a-legdrop spot over, but he’s stupid and his spot looks stupid. Morrus drops a Savage Elbow from the top, but he’s no Randy Savage, so it only gets two. Saturn fights back, but Morrus regains control and gets two on a vertical suplex. Saturn shows some more fightback, but gets mowed down by a diving lariat. Morrus sits in a chinlock that Saturn works out of, but Morrus turns a back suplex attempt and falls on top of Saturn for a pin attempt. I don’t know, fellas, this match in a vacuum, while not good, is watchable. Morrus is trying hard even though he’s simply not very good. But is this the match that Saturn needs going into a PPV match against Rick Steiner for the TV title? Saturn spends most of this match bumping, selling, and looking not even remotely like a threat to Steiner. Morrus hits a press slam, then misses a top-rope splash. Saturn finally makes a sustained comeback and, after a flurry of offense, signals for a DVD. Hart jumps on the apron and distracts Saturn, which allows Morrus to jump him. Morrus plows into Saturn, then goes up and attempts a No Laughing Matter that misses. Saturn hits a judo toss and locks on the Rings of Saturn for the submission. Who laid this match out, exactly? They did a poor job of it. Dean Malenko is back out to the ring to face Chris Benoit. There are only twenty minutes left in the show, and we’ve got this match and a tag cage match left. They do some swiftly-paced counter wrestling to start. I think they need to get Benoit away from the Revolution because they’re dragging him down. I think when Benoit a) doesn’t talk too much and b) wrestles anywhere between 40/60 and 60/40 with upper midcarders and spot main eventers, people believe in him. I love Saturn, but having him pal around with Saturn, Malenko, and Douglas just makes Benoit look like a midcard piker. The men have a punch-up and generally strike one another a lot. This match isn’t doing anything for me; I blame Malenko. The crowd does wake up for both men reversing one another in the Tombstone position…no, wait, they wake up because Sid makes his way out and attacks both men after Benoit misses a diving headbutt. Sid is able to powerbomb Malenko, but Benoit manages to dump Sid to the floor. Sid looks bewildered that the little guy was able to duck his blows and backs away from the ring. This match just seems to peter out, I guess, since ref Charles Robinson never bothered to call for the bell. Ummmmmmmmmm, okay? This Nitro continues to be confounding. The main event pits Rick Steiner, DDP, and Sid Vicious against Goldberg, Sting, and Hulk Hogan in a cell match. The heels take forever to get down there. Hogan comes down first, then Goldberg; Goldberg doesn't quite make it to the ring, as Kanyon and Bam Bam Bigelow jump him in the aisle; the heels already in the ring jump Hogan. Kanyon and Bam Bam dump Goldberg in the ring with five minutes to go, and Goldberg fights off the three heels in the ring for quite a while, actually, before the numbers game gets to him. Of course, by that point, Hogan is up against and clears out the heels for a little bit. The heels finally assert some extended control, which is when Sting heads to the ring for a save, no thanks to the remonstrations of Lex Luger. Sting fights past Bam Bam and Kanyon and then gets in the ring and helps the babyfaces turn the tide. I continue to stay impressed that WCW hypes main events that are a) short and b) extended angles moreso than matches, half the time. Sting slings Page into a Hogan big boot, and Hogan follows with a legdrop that the ref counts two on, but I guess he decides, what the hell, it’s three. I, um. What? OK, sure, why not. Hogan looks overjoyed that Sting helped him out, but Luger charges into the ring and yells at Sting for helping Hogan. Luger is heated and even does the same thing that Morgan Freeman does to the crack-smoking crying kid in Lean On Me by grabbing Sting’s chin and yelling at him. Except he yells LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M TALKIN’ TO YOU instead of YOU SMOKE CRACK, SON, DON’T CHA? DON’T CHA?!?! Sting and Luger are so entertaining together whenever they’re having friendship problems. It was true in 1995, and it’s true now. Luger tries to make the point about why Sting should trust him with simple math: WE’VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR THIRTEEN YEARS! *holds up all ten fingers* TEN *holds up three fingers* THREE, THIRTEEN! Sting takes it for a bit before getting sick of it and causing Luger to back away expeditiously by yelling at him: GET OFF MY CASE, LEX, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, ANYWAYS? Luger backs off, but he’s so frustrated and emotionally heated that he forgets to use his words and punches Sting. Not with any venom, just lightly in the chest. Sting looks shocked, exclaims WHAT WAS THAT FOR, LEX? and then fires back with a couple punches of his own as we fade to black. That was unironically enjoyable because I am totally invested in any storyline where Sting and Lex Luger have friendship troubles. Those two having their problems is always compelling as far as this viewer is concerned. After this nutball Nitro, I think I’ve been lulled into something akin to a sense of out-of-body contentment. My soul might be floating above my body as I type this sentence. I feel like Winston finally being brainwashed by the Party. I love WCW now! WCW has always looked out for my interests as a wrestling fan. WCW is my only true friend. 1 out of 5 Stinger Splashes Infinity Multiplied by Infinity out of 5 Stinger Splashes. Edited August 7 by SirSmUgly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 7 Share Posted August 7 40 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said: Barry Horowitz comes out in a glittery tux-styled vest You know ever since Bobby Heenan called him "Horrible-witz" every time I see the name 'Horowitz' in any other media, the first thing I think of is "Horrible-witz" 51 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said: Now, Juvi and Kidman go at it. I REALLY wanted this Juvy dressed as Kidman segment to just be he and Kidman standing in the ring trying to powerbomb each other and being countered endlessly for a few minutes. 40 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said: Some plant holding a LODI RULES sign does a pratfall over the guardrail and gets carted out. Wait...what?! 41 minutes ago, SirSmUgly said: THE MAESTRO is sitting on stage and playing piano So this made me google The Maestro...or 'Stro as he is now named...and I did not remember him being managed by Symphony who was previously Ryan Shamrock (I always remember it the other way around, WCW then WWE but I was wrong) and eventually she ended up in TNA with this amazing TNA wiki summary "Webb began to appear as a talent scout, appearing on the ramp and accepting money from various different wrestlers. The storyline did not go anywhere" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twiztor Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 5 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Show #205 – 6 September 1999 is this the last we've seen of Duncum on WCW television? Holy shit, then as Curly Bill calls himself “the biggest redneck in the world,” the WTRs quote that series of early ‘90s Pace Picante commercials (“[Curly Bill’s from] the south side of what? NEW YORK CITY?!”) These fucking dads and their dad references. The WTRs agree to give Curly Bill an opportunity to join them later tonight. What the fuck, man, this segment was also bananas, but it was so dumb, and I laughed more than enough for it to be quite enjoyable. Berlyn and Uta Ludendorff, who you and I both know is probably just Megan Walters from Dubuque, Iowa. Duncum has wrestled his final match, so unless he shows up on a taped Thunder or C-show as a part of an entourage, that's the end. i had heard that Vincent joined the WTR and i thought that sounded like the dumbest thing around. But, that segment is like televised WTF, so i got on board with it once i actually watched it. And i will never NOT pop for a Pace Picante Sauce ad. is this a real person? or did you just happen to randomly namedrop my hometown? 4 hours ago, caley said: You know ever since Bobby Heenan called him "Horrible-witz" every time I see the name 'Horowitz' in any other media, the first thing I think of is "Horrible-witz" SAME! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 quite a few literary references in that review Just remember no matter how bleak it gets you still have Terry Funk v A horse in the pipeline! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 8 Author Share Posted August 8 18 hours ago, caley said: Wait...what?! Yeah, so the week before on Nitro, they had a bunch of plants with signs cheering for Lodi while security kept them from entering the building, so they're doing something with die hard Lodi fans using plants that won't come to fruition because of all the booking changes. 13 hours ago, twiztor said: Duncum has wrestled his final match, so unless he shows up on a taped Thunder or C-show as a part of an entourage, that's the end. What a strange run it was for this guy. I was decidedly not a fan at any point, but injured -> OD is just a terrible way to end things. Quote is this a real person? or did you just happen to randomly namedrop my hometown? "Uta"s accent is pure Midwestern American, so I just picked a common name for an American woman and a random city in the Midwest to illustrate my point. Happy accidents! (Seriously, WCW, she doesn't need to actually be German to be Berlyn's translator. If you're going to tell this Germany > United States story, it might even be more effective if she's just Megan Walters from Dubuque and has been convinced of her belief in German superiority after meeting Berlyn. Berlyn can bestow her German name upon her in one of these segments. All I ask is that you make it make sense, WCW!) 7 hours ago, zendragon said: Just remember no matter how bleak it gets you still have Terry Funk v A horse in the pipeline! I know Terry Funk comes in. I remember reading something about the Old Age Outlaws years and years ago and rolling my eyes, and I think Funk was part of that. But I really don't remember Terry Funk vs. a horse, and I'm extremely excited about this. Does Pepe have a secret son? Tell me he wrestles Pepe Jr. in mid-2000 or something like that. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 8 Author Share Posted August 8 (edited) Thunder Interlude – show number seventy-nine – 9 September 1999 "The WCW Gang heads into the post-Bischoff unknown" An “In Memory of Mark Curtis” screen displays before the Thunder opening…Mike Tenay memorializes him as we first view the arena…Let’s all remember in his honor that time he shot on some dipshit trying to rush the ring…That ruled… Jimmy Hart leads the Barbarian down to the ring to face Buff Bagwell…There’s stalling and posing to start…Buff hits a dropkick and a clothesline after a bit of Barbarian control, then dances…Hart calms Barb down, then yanks Buff’s leg to divert Bagwell and allow Barb to hit a weak clothesline…Barb is washed and singles Buff sucks ass…The best thing about this match is that it’s not long enough to warrant a commercial break…The second best is Jimmy Hart, who cheats successfully once, twice, but not the third time…He tosses a weapon to Barb, but Buff intercepts it and hits Barbarian with it…Buff covers for three…See, the rule of threes is almost always an effective trope… Recap: Berlyn is a significantly better promo in English than his interpreter…Maybe cast a better actor for the interpreter, WCW?...Oh yeah, Berlyn’s planning to beat Buff down at Fall Brawl… Promo video: Sting and Luger have had a long frenemy-ship… Van Hammer faces off with Blitzkrieg in a classic WCW-ass WCW matchup…Hammer overpowers Blitz early and feels good about himself…THIS IS GONNA BE A LITTLE EASAY…Naturally, Blitz comes back and scores a few strikes with his agility…Blitz tries a backslide, but in a neat spot, Hammer blocks it and then airplanes Blitz around, then unhooks his arm and lariats his smaller opponent…Huh…Hammer lands a top-rope beal toss to wild cheers, even though the whole hard cam is sitting there looking half-asleep…Ah, taped Thunder, I love you…Blitz gets out of a press slam attempt and manages to yank Hammer over in a roll-up…He tries to follow up with kicks, but Hammer catches Blitz’s leg and suplexes him…Hammer gets two on an elbowdrop, then front suplexes Blitzkrieg across the top rope…Hammer goes up for a second-rope senton (!!!), but whiffs…Blitz tries his senton/moonsault combo, but Hammer rolls under it…Hammer hits a beal from his position on the ground, then tries again…Blitz flips out of it and gets two off a dropkick…Hammer presses out of the pinfall attempt and sends Blitzkrieg to the floor, then knocks him around ringside for a bit…Hammer whips Blitz toward the apron, but Blitz leaps onto the apron and hits an Asai moonsault…Hammer is back in the ring first, and he’s able to catch a Blitz springboard and dump him…One Cobra Clutch Slam later, Hammer is the winner…That went from “Charming Uniquity” to legitimately fun and good with all the counters and interesting spots… Recap: WCW thinks the White Hummer angle is still interesting…I beg to differ… We get six-man tag action between the Royalists (Steven Regal, David Taylor, and Chris Adams) and the Revolution (Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, and Shane Douglas)…We just talked about Douglas in last month's main thread, but I’m beginning to think that maybe he sucks…Raven came into WCW without being able to swear or get super-edgy and got over anyway…Hak and Chastity got reasonably over as a midcard act without the former needing to crush beers and smoke cigs before they left the company…But Shane Douglas seems like he ain’t shit without dropping a lot of F-Bombs or hanging out with Francine…Maybe he’ll prove me wrong as this watch moves into 2000, but he’s on FRAUD WATCH with me right now… Saturn hits a springboard forearm, and boy, this crowd sweetening is so bad…It’s obvious that the shrieks of excitement on that move are not coming from anyone in this somnambulant crowd…Eventually, Douglas ends up as FIP…He takes a series of flagpole shots from Taylor…Adams is the one to lose control of the match when he tries a dive and is countered into an inverted atomic drop…The match breaks down immediately after the hot tag…Regal bumps himself over the top rope without even letting Douglas pretend that he’s the one tossing Regal…Benoit lands a diving headbutt on Adams, then locks him in the Crippler Crossface for the tap out… Lodi follows Lenny Lane to the ring…Lodi’s ARE WE AMBIGUOUS ENUFF NOW? sign feels like it’s maybe targeted at Turner S&P, or maybe at any LGBT+ interest groups that might have complained to Turner…Kaz Hayashi is Lodi’s opponent in a rematch from an earlier Thunder in which Kaz ended up pinning Lane on a switcheroo…That has earned Kaz a Cruiserweight Championship shot at Fall Brawl…WCW didn’t push enough of its cruisers outside of Rey, Eddy, and Kidman for the past year, and now they’re trying to push new guys in that division from almost nothing…Whoops…I truly believe that taking the belt right back off Psicosis for no reason was a bad mistake…They had a chance to re-center the division around heel Psicosis fending off babyface challengers that they'd have had some time to build… Kaz dives onto Lenny after Lenny slaps him, then steps out of the way of Lodi’s dive…Lodi crashes into Lenny…Lodi turns things around and whips Kaz into the guardrails…He rolls Kaz into the ring and covers, but only gets two…Lodi bashes Kaz’s head into the buckles, but eats boots on a couple of corner charges…Kaz tries to follow up, but Lodi lands a lariat…Lodi sits Kaz up top and gets about 2.7 on a diving bulldog… Lodi tries to get Lenny’s help to block a counter sunset flip, but loses his grip and rolls backward for two…Guess what?...He hits a lariat as soon as he gets up…Kaz works out of a Lodi sleeper then gets two on a roll-up when Lodi gets dropkicked into Lane on the apron…Kaz lands a brainbuster for two…Lenny Lane gets o the apron and tries to hit on Kaz…Lodi jumps Kaz and gets a roll-up for two…Lane gets back on the apron as Lodi shoves Kaz toward Lane…Kaz ducks, then rolls up Lodi for three after Lane hits his sign-carrying buddy…Lane tries to attack Kaz after the match, but Kaz escapes…This was perfectly acceptable televised pro wrestling… Recap: Hulk Hogan swears he’s a good guy, gets side-eyed by Luger and me… The Power Plant is getting its guys some TV time tonight…Adrian Byrd and Bobby Blaze, the latter of whom somehow got put into the WCW Mayhem game, come to the ring to get killed off by Sid…Byrd must have been watching Regal bump himself over the top rope with barely any help from Shane Douglas earlier, because Sid lightly shoves him away and he comically stumbles across the ring and out through the ropes as though propelled out of a spinning centrifuge…Each man eats a diet of chokeslams and powerbombs for pinfalls…I am still baffled why Charles Robinson, who turned heel because he was specifically a huge fan of Ric Flair, is now boosting Sid… The Revolution come to the ring…Dean Malenko took Rick Steiner’s TV title when Steiner brought it to the ring on a previous run-in during a previous show…Why Steiner brought it out during a run-in just to dump it at ringside, I don’t know…Anyway, Malenko confiscated that shit and used it to attack Steiner…Malenko bores me to death on the mic…Basically, he challenges Rick Steiner to come get his TV title back in a match…He tries to warn off Sid by saying that the rest of the Revolution are backing him up…Oh, so they won’t just be standing at a monitor and watching Malenko fight a handicap match?...Good for them…I keep waiting for someone in this group to paraphrase Gil Scott-Heron for one of their catchphrases…I continue to be disappointed…Douglas talks…Let’s put it this way: His mic work isn’t nearly good enough to get him off FRAUD WATCH… The Windham Brothers and Curt Hennig come to the ring…So does Harlem Heat…This’ll be a singles match, however…Booker T. faces Barry Windham…Booker controls the match early…Barry struggles to get much going…He runs into boot on a corner charge, then ducks a lariat and turns right back around into a flying forearm…Barry even bails, but to the wrong side of the ring…Stevie pops him one, then tosses him back into the ring…Hennig has to grab Book’s leg as Booker tries an axe kick for Barry to get any sort of sustained control… Back in the ring, Barry scores a DDT and fends off Booker right hands with an eye poke…Barry decides that he needs more help, so he dumps Booker at ringside for Kendall and Hennig to club…Book is dumped back in the ring…Booker always seems like he’s one move away from re-taking control, though…He dodges an elbowdrop, then ducks a lariat and hits a Houston Side Kick…Book manages to land an axe kick…Back suplex, Spinaroonie, and missile dropk—nope, Kendall jumps Booker as Book goes up top and we get a DQ win for Booker and a three-on-two fight that Harlem Heat loses… Recap: Lex Luger doesn’t like the look of that Hulk Hogan, tries to convince Sting of his concerns…Huh, there were definitely beatdown sounds when the lights went out in Hogan’s dressing room…Maybe the audio was borked on the Network version of that Nitro…Or I could have just missed it somehow… Rick Steiner faces off with Dean Malenko for the WCW World Television Championship…Rick Steiner + pre-match mic work = DDP-level nonsense…I actually don’t see the Revolution out here with Malenko…Are they too busy trying to find a monitor to cluster around backstage?...There’s almost immediately a commercial break in this thing…Steiner’s in control when we leave and when we come back, but Malenko lands a leg lariat and tries a Texas Cloverleaf…Steiner gets out of it with an eye rake…So, get this…Sid comes to the ring to root Steiner on…Where are those bums from the Revolution?...You may be surprised to find out that Sid ends up chokeslamming Malenko for a DQ and then beating up an onrushing Shane Douglas…Did the Revolution get tips on running as a group from the original Wolfpac?...Egregious…They look like bums…Even Larry Z. points out that running in one at a time was a dumb idea, which they do (and get clobbered one at a time)…Wow, this booking is nonsense…Steiner got his belt back, but you know, the way these fellas have all been booked, they might as well send Saturn in there at Fall Brawl and have him lose in thirty seconds…Is it any wonder that three of these four Revolution members bolted for the WWF at the first chance they could get?...This is not quite bad enough to get on the Dirt Worst list, but the way they book and present the Revolution as a whole might end up making it at some point son… Remember when Bam Bam Bigelow was presented as a threat to Goldberg for a few months at the end of 1998 and beginning of 1999?...Now Bammer’s out here to get crushed by Goldberg like he should have been by the middle of January 1999 at the latest…Goldberg does some cool power spots, including catching Bam Bam on a crossbody attempt (!!) and hitting a front slam…Goldberg locks on an arm bar, but Bigelow barely makes the ropes…Bigelow wildly swings at Golberg, and you’ll be surprised to know that there’s a ref bump in the main event of a WCW show…Goldberg continues to dominate, but Nick Patrick is half-dead, so DDP runs in…Page doesn’t do much to help Bammer, who gets speared and Jackhammered while Page escapes to safety…Patrick counts three, but Page is in immediately with a steel chair attack on Goldberg…Goldberg slowly gets to his feet, so Bam Bam and Page decide that discretion is the better part of valor… Just another solid Thunder, folks…We’ve got at least another month or two of them before Vince Russo decides to shake things up…I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts…WOOO… Edited August 9 by SirSmUgly 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zendragon Posted August 8 Share Posted August 8 My Prediction is it ends up being more of a Blunder! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caley Posted August 9 Share Posted August 9 17 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: Lodi follows Lenny Lane to the ring…Lodi’s ARE WE AMBIGUOUS ENUFF NOW? sign feels like it’s maybe targeted at Turner S&P, or maybe at any LGBT+ interest groups that might have complained to Turner… According to Lane's Wikipedia the gimmick was inspired by SNL's Ambiguously Gay Duo so it could also be a reference to that. The late 90s were a haven for "I have seen a popular TV show, have you also seen said popular TV show" references in wrestling 17 hours ago, SirSmUgly said: ..This is not quite bad enough to get on the Dirt Worst list, but the way they book and present the Revolution as a whole might end up making it at some point son… I'm a big fan of the early 2000s cringe-comedy Ricky Gervais/Stephen Merchant did, few things make me laugh as hard as the general awkwardness of a good cringe moment on.one of those shows. So in the spirit of that, I often think about and laugh about how terribly awkward the Revolution leaving en masse from WCW must have been. I can just imagine these respected workhorse-type guys standing up and walking out to the admiration of their peers, Douglas maybe making some of inspirational statement about being kept down. Then WWE going "Nuh uh" to Douglas and him coming back to WCW going "Oh you thought I was leaving? No those guys were my ride, I was always staying here. This place is my home and it can still be...good?" 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 9 Author Share Posted August 9 Fall Brawl ’99 notes: Sting! Hogan! The first post-Bischoff WCW PPV! Exciting times in WCW! As the desk hypes this show, I think that I’ve maybe underrated how badly the United States Championship has been booked for the past year. It’s not been booked quite as badly as the Tag Team Championships, but it’s not that far off! It’s not just the ill-advised David Flair reign; it’s the fact that they insisted on sticking it on an injured Bret Hart, it’s the mediocre tournament for the title after they put it on Roddy Piper and then immediately transferred it to Scott Hall for about three weeks in which he never defended it, it’s the determination to have Sid “replicate” Goldberg’s streak by taking it off a poorly-booked Chris Benoit, who actually could use a successful and lengthy U.S. Championship reign to pick up some momentum. Hype video: The Dead Pool (minus Raven) is still beefing with the Filthy Animals. OK, we get a snippet of a Dead Pool promo in which Violent J says: EVERYBODY OUT THERE WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I HATE YOU. That got a guffaw out of me, honestly. All of a sudden, rappers can’t wrestle, at least according to Eddy. Your on-again, off-again buddy Rey disagrees! WCW production cobbled together some fun snippets from Backstage Blast promos to make this package, and I genuinely enjoyed it. Yet again, the Dead Pool faces Eddy Guerrero, Rey Misterio Jr., and Billy Kidman in a trios tag opener. Wow, these fellas are in quite the holding pattern. The babyfaces already won cleanly, and I don’t have much hype for a rematch. There’s lots of stalling to start. But you know, the actual match is perfectly acceptable as an opener. You have hot cruiserweights elevating three opponents who are fun enough to watch if they’re in there with the right opponent. Rey and Kidman combine on a springboard legdrop, and Eddy follows with a tope con hilo, and it’s enjoyable. You have someone like Rey who will bump around for anyone and still come off like a credible threat, and it’s almost like you’d have to try to make this a bad match. Rey lands an early Bronco Buster on Vampiro, and pretty much, the Dead Pool looks outmatched. Violent J eats a bunch of punches from Kidman and hides behind ref Billy Silverman, then uses that distraction to hit a chop on Kidman and take over. The crowd liked the “heel hides behind the ref” spot and a more experienced wrestler would have recognized that and milked it a bit more. J rushed through the spot a bit, I think. Kidman’s the FIP for a while. The thing about this FIP segment, and I think it fits with the story they’ve been telling on B-shows and Backstage Blast about ICP being rappers first and wrestlers last, is that Kidman never feels like he’s really in much trouble. He doesn’t take too much damage and only has to kick out at two once before getting a hot tag to Rey, who rolls J. Rey gets caught in no man’s land, though, and is clotheslined to the floor and attacked by the illegal Dead Pool members. Rey is our second FIP of the match, but again, there’s never really a sense that they’re going to beat him without some sort of chicanery. Vampiro ends up in no man’s land himself, where Rey tags Eddy in and Eddy laces Vampiro with chops that have some venom in them. My goodness. Vampiro isn’t athletic enough to land on his feet out of a monkey flip, but he tries it anyway and then hits a weak kick to gain control of the match. Eddy takes a bit of offense, including a guillotine legdrop that Shaggy 2 Dope doesn’t really land properly. Eddy doesn’t even need a hot tag to make comeback and fights off all three guys for awhile before Vamp lands a clothesline while Eddy is facing someone else. Shaggy and Vampiro combine on a completely mis-timed Tower Diamond Cutter, yuck, and a series of events leads to Vampiro hitting Kidman with a top-rope gut wrench suplex, but turning around into a Guerrero missile dropkick. Kidman recovers quickly and, since Shaggy is missing top-rope moves, figures that he might as well do it too and barely lands an SSP on Vamp for three. Rey might have blown out his knee again, legit; the faces help a trainer carry him out after the match and don’t spend time celebrating in the ring. Rey being off TV again is gonna suck if he’s hurt for a longer period of time. The Revolution does a bad WCW.com spot backstage. Saturn guarantees a Revolution sweep tonight. Huh, I’ll be keeping your boast in mind, Saturn. Recap: Lenny Lane is the Cruiserweight Champ, and I don’t see that changing tonight. Kaz Hayashi gets a shot at Lenny Lane’s (w/Lodi) title. You know how this match goes: Bad “cartoonish gay stereotype” shtick to start, decent wrestling in the middle, and a finish with lots of nonsense and ga-ga. Lane works a Gorgeous George Wagner skipping spot worse than George did forty years after George originally did it. Kaz can stick the hell out of a dive, though. Lane is an improved worker from a year ago, but he just doesn’t have the things that you’d want from a complete wrestler. I find myself not caring about anything he’s doing. He can’t even tell the crowd to talk to the hand in as entertaining a way as Chris Benoit told Mongo McMichael to do it on Nitro a few years ago (Show #67, in fact). Kaz, on the other hand, just needs the right presentation. He’s a fun worker and when they put him with Jimmy Yang and Jamie Noble, that’s going to be some enjoyable television. Lane does a lot of slow control in between dives, getting occasional help from Lodi, before Kaz comes back. Kaz gets two on a rana, but is reversed on a corner whip and has to kick out of a rebound bulldog at two. Kaz counters a grab with a back suplex, then counters a corner charge with a springboard bulldog. He looks to kill Lane off with a top rope move and ends up fighting with the champ over it; Kaz sunset flips into powerbomb position and hits a running powerbomb a la Jushin Liger; the cover gets only two because Lodi reaches in the ring from his spot at ringside puts Lane’s boot on the ropes. See, one thing you can give Lenny Lane is that he’s had some fun finishing runs in his matches since becoming champ. Kaz goes up and is surreptitiously tripped by Lodi; he falls into a seated position. Lane runs in, gets booted backward, and eats a Frankensteiner for two. Kaz gets close again after whipping Lane toward Lodi and dropkicking them into one another, but his victory roll only gets two. Kaz goes up one more time and dives at an apron-bound Lodi while Lenny distracts the ref, but Lodi snaps Kaz’s neck across the top rope; Kaz stumbles back into a rollup, but kicks out at around 2.7. Kaz comes at Lane again, but Lenny grabs him, twists him into full nelson position, and as a former mimic of Chris Jericho, hits a Breakdown even though Jericho wasn’t even using that move yet; maybe Jericho ended up stealing it as revenge for never getting his Loverboy tape back. Anyway, this gets three. Decent match, but Lenny’s no Goldust and is really bringing me down with his crappy “comedy” spots. Why are we doing an in-ring Sting interview with Gene Okerlund on a fucking PPV? Come on, now. Sting says that Luger is about to throw away their friendship with all his nonsense, and that maybe it’d be a good idea if Luger kept to himself during his title match later tonight. He reiterates being copacetic with Hogan, at least until they fight tonight, and opines on possibly becoming a nine-time world champion. Recap: The Revolution has been beefing with a lot of folks, including the First Family, and doing a poor job of it for the most part. Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko don’t have singles matches tonight, so they tag up against Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobbs, who are low-key one of the least enjoyable tag teams that have ever existed. They brawl to start, and though Morrus disposes of Douglas outside the ring, he and Knobbs can’t find a way to effectively double up on Malenko back in the ring, and the Revolution clear the ring. For some reason, Jimmy Hart and his charges stand with their backs to the ring and raise their arms. They eat baseball slides, but what a dumb spot that is. Why would any experienced manager have his wrestlers do that when they’re all aware that their opponents are up and had just won a tangle against them? I could see if they plausibly thought that they had Malenko and Douglas down and prematurely celebrated, but there was no way they didn’t know they were setting themselves up to get clobbered. The match is no disqualification, so it degenerates into a garbage brawl with a bunch of weapon shots. Shane FRAUD WATCH Douglas throws some shitty punches at Morrus in the corner of the ring, but he gets jumped by Knobbs and eats sniffs a Pit Stop. The stench wakes him up, and he hits clotheslines on everyone. This is no DQ. Why has it turned into an ordered match with tags? You know what, I’m done expecting WCW to figure this match type out. I think this match stinks worse than Knobbs's unwashed pits. It seems to go on forever. Of course, the inability to properly work the match stips is a huge problem, but these guys all kinda suck to varying degrees, so you know, that’s another huge problem. There’s no flow to this thing. I guess Douglas is FIP, but he controls for a lot of the time he’s in there before getting a hot tag, so it’s not like the hot tag feels especially earned. Malenko cleanly jobs to a No Laughing Matter after his hot tag runs out of steam and he’s tripped on a rope run by Knobbs, and you know, I think the Revolution is dead, folks. What a woefully ineffective faction. They’re the Wolfpac with no popularity. Recap: Rick Steiner and Saturn are beefing over the TV title. Do I want to watch Saturn sell a lot for crappy, dull Rick Steiner offense? Not particularly. Alas, here we are. While Steiner controls early, Tony S. lets us know that Buff Bagwell isn’t here for his match against Berlyn. Uh oh. First of all, Buff Bagwell is running wild backstage. First, he gets the booking of the Ernest Miller match at Road Wild changed. Then, he refuses to job to Berlyn. Buff Bagwell isn’t remotely good enough to refuse to do jobs. I get it, he went from beating Roddy Piper to being booked to job to Miller and Berlyn in the span of three PPVs, but the Bagwell who looked most like a star in the Piper match was Judy, so he needed to get over himself. Babyface Buff Bagwell is genuinely one of the worst performers I’ve ever seen in my life. Anyway, this match is fucking BORING. My goodness. The typical Thunder is a lot more fun than tonight’s show has been. And Steiner drops a DDT on concrete! This is the most boring match that includes a DDT-on-concrete spot ever, I know it. I don’t need to actually do the research to make sure. I had a history teacher in high school, brilliant guy, who would respond to students claiming that a reading was boring by saying, “The reading is not boring; you are bored by it.” I generally agree with his point, but I would challenge him if he were here today and say that this match objectively exists as a boring thing outside of subjective experience. After a long, slow Steiner beatdown with bursts of Saturn offense that quickly get snuffed out, Saturn actually lands a DVD…that Steiner kicks out of at two. Saturn tries another one; it doesn’t work, and Steiner hits an Oklahoma Stampede and a diving bulldog for three. Tony S. takes pains to point out that the Revolution is oh-for-two tonight. Hulk Hogan talks with Gene Okerlund backstage. The Hulkster’s mad that the other wrestlers in the back don’t trust him. Is this kayfabe or shoot, brother? Also, is this 1999 or 2019, brother? Well, I get why they brought Jim Duggan out here to wrestle Berlyn from a storyline and thematic standpoint, but did no one recognize that Hacksaw thinks he’s Scott Norton or, dare I say, Goldberg in his own delusional mind? Berlyn should have run through this guy in about two minutes, but nope. Duggan no-sells a series of moves and HOOOOOOOs up from a couple of European uppercuts. There was a small window of time that Duggan was a useful pro wrestler, and that was in Mid-South in 1984/1985. He was never any good and has always sucked real bad in the ring, but he was actually useful for that one place and time only. But it’s 1999, and Berlyn needed a better matchup than this. Then again, I’m not sure that crybaby fuckboi Buff would have been much more amenable to getting Berlyn over anyway. After a match that goes way the hell too long, Duggan can barely figure out how to position himself for a reverse neckbreaker, finally does it, and eats it for three. YUCK. Berlyn casually puts on his shades after the match, and that’s a pretty dope post-match spot, though. We cut to the back where Buff Bagwell has some luggage and gets in an argument with Mike Graham about moving his match to later in the night. Buff runs out and hugs Duggan, but Duggan is like WHERE WERE YOU, I JUST GOT MY ASS KICKED. Buff Bagwell sucks. That Billy Jack bitch. Recap: Harlem Heat want to become nine-time champs just like Sting does! Harlem Heat try to get the WCW World Tag Team Championships back from the Windham Brothers (w/Curt Hennig). Where’s Curly Bill?! Ah, never mind, it’s okay if he’s not here. I don’t want the joke to get run into the ground too quickly. Booker and Kendall start off; Kendall uses his wheels to create space, but Booker overwhelms him and then his bro before tagging Stevie and landing a team vertical suplex on Barry. Stevie keeps control until Barry pokes him in the eye and brings him over to the champs' corner. Kendall tags in and Stevie no-sells his chops, but Kendall gets a boot up on a corner charge to keep control. Stevie is FIP, which actually cements the overarching storyline point about him being jealous that Booker didn’t need him, but that he needs Booker. Stevie does work his way out of trouble and get a tag to Booker, though, who easily handles Kendall. Curt Hennig senses trouble and tries to get involved, but Booker elbows him off the apron. Kendall is able to dump a distracted Booker out of the ring on the heel side, though, and Book takes a beating outside the ring. Back in the ring, though, Kendall Windham is still only Kendall Windham, so Booker works out of trouble and hits an axe kick and a Spinaroonie before Barry jumps in and clocks Booker with a lariat, then dumps him back on the heel side of the ring. After another beating at ringside, Barry hits a superplex, but only gets two when Stevie makes the save. He tags Kendall back in, which is an obvious strategic mistake, come on, Barry, and Booker kicks out of a Kendall diving lariat at two. Would you believe it? Booker floats over on a Kendall corner charge and gets two on a roll-up before Barry breaks up the pinfall. Billy Silverman is the kayfabe worst ref ever and misses an obvious Booker tag to Stevie; Barry comes in and locks Book in a sleeper. Booker gets to the ropes, and let’s get to the hot tag. The Windham Brothers aren’t exactly the most exciting in control. Booker finally gets a hot tag and the match breaks down. Hennig conks Stevie Ray with a cowbell, but Silverman’s busy watching Booker clear out Hennig and Barry on the outside, then hop on the apron, go up top, and hit a bewildered Kendall in the mush with a missile dropkick for three and the gold. One good thing I can say about this match is that there was a clear hierarchy of workers established within the layout. A second good thing I can say about this match is that it’s over. Recap: Are they really going to have Sid win the U.S. Championship to mimic Goldberg’s run in 1998? Really? Sid wins the U.S. Championship from Chris Benoit, who plays Raven to Sid’s Goldberg. We haven’t talked about the Revolution’s dubbed theme, but it is a sad substitution for what I think is was originally a “Beautiful People” knockoff. Anyway, Sid and Benoit have decent chemistry, but this match starts out a bit slowly. Benoit finally goes at Sid’s knee and tries to chop the big man down. He locks on a standing Figure Four in a neat little spot. Sid makes his way back to standing and hits a lot of kicks, so I guess that knee work sucked in kayfabe. They end up outside, where Benoit kicks the steel steps into Sid’s leg. Sid just shakes it off and catches a Benoit crossbody back in the ring, but Benoit wriggles away and lands a German suplex. Still, Sid has no problem planting that leg! He catches a Benoit crucifix attempt and hits a reverse slam. He does limp a bit when he gets up, though. I give him that. He tests out the knee before going at Benoit again. Benoit lands Van Hammer’s finisher for only two; maybe he should ask the master how to properly apply it. Benoit tries to sunset flip out of trouble, but Sid drops down and gets two before Benoit slithers out. This match isn’t very good, unfortunately. I think they have much better in them, and in fact, I think they do have a very good match right before Benoit heads to New York. Anyway, Benoit manages to wrap a Crippler Crossface on, and there’s a minor “did he tap out or just hit the mat in pain” spot that is, I suppose, slightly enhanced by Charles Robinson being the ref. Look, that WCW execs in kayfabe would let Charles Robinson referee Sid matches is fucking dumb. Sid gets to the ropes; Benoit tries a diving headbutt, but whiffs. That’s all she wrote: Sid lands a powerbomb to get three and win the title. LOL, the Revolution. El-oh-el. I don’t want to hear a damned thing in a promo about deserving top spots after this performance. Seriously. This sort of group choke job is going to earn them kayfabe heel status in my house if they come out there on Nitro and whine some more. On the other hand, this show found a hell of a way to book some midcard talent into oblivion. Recap: DDP thinks he might just have the secret sauce to beat Goldberg this time. Probably not, but hmm, when does Goldberg lose his second match? I’m curious. Also, don’t spoil it for me if you know the answer. The transcriber misunderstands DDP demanding KILL IT, MONKEY BOY to the production truck about his theme as SHOW US, FUNKY BOY. I like the transcribed version better. Goldberg comes out, and I’d expect a really good match between these two, but Fall Brawl has been a snoozefest so far. If Page has a good match with Goldberg tonight, though, I think he is safely Goldberg’s best opponent with no room for further discussion on it, at least in my view. Page immediately tries to load his fist, but Mickey Jay is no Billy Silverman and makes him give up the roll of quarters that he’s packed into his knuckles. Page then immediately loses a punch-up. He wanders around outside, barks at the audience, takes off his vest, then gets back in the ring and fails to be particularly effective on offense. Page tries a shoulderblock and ends up tumbling through the ropes and to the floor. Page wisely takes another walk, grabs a mic, and then yells at the crowd for chanting GOLDBERG. He threatens to leave if they don’t stop it, so of course, they get louder; Page decides to leave through the crowd, and Goldberg goes out there and brings him back to the ring the hard way. Page tries everything he can; he jumps Goldberg as Goldberg re-enters the ring. It doesn’t work. He tries a Diamond Cutter; it gets blocked and he gets slammed. He jabs Mickey Jay in the eye while kicking Goldberg in the balls, then loads his fist with a second object in his tights and lands a punch. This last move gives him a bit of sustained control. Goldberg tries to come back, so Page plays rope-a-dope with the ref and loads his fist whenever possible. Page hits a Scumbag Elbow, which is what I’m going to call his version of the People’s/Corporate Elbow, and gets two. Page does his best to club Goldberg to the mat and keep him in holds, but Goldberg gets sick of all that nonsense and makes a comeback out of almost nothing before Page is able to sneak a leaping DDT for two. Page tries to follow up and gets suplexed out of a front chancery for two. This is when Bam Bam Bigelow and Kanyon run out; Bam Bam distracts Jay while Kanyon bashes Goldberg in the back of the head with an object; Page's cover only gets two. Page gets in Jay’s face while Bam Bam and Kanyon try to attack Goldberg, but Goldberg dispatches of Page’s lackeys with a double clothesline, then spears and Jackhammers Page for three. This was by far the least of their trilogy, but I did like the idea that Page had like eight or nine different strategies for cheating his way to victory as a framework for the match. I just think it would have been more effective to have Goldberg fight through each one in clearly segmented parts of the match, and for each DDP cheating attempt to escalate in seriousness and violence. I also don’t love DDP making to abandon the match unless his attempt to leave was explicitly tied to a covert attempt at knocking Goldberg out and then rushing back to the ring to get a cheap count-out victory or something like that. Mmmm, the execution didn’t live up to the concept. Recap: White Hummers and Photoshopped Pictures and Lights Out Dressing Room Attacks, Oh My! Alright, let’s get into this main event. I have to assume that this ill-considered Sting heel turn finally happens tonight. After Hulk Hogan comes to the ring, Bret Hart follows for some reason. Hey, I like Bret’s shirt: On the front, it has THE BEST written in gold lettering above the skull that’s on his Hart Foundation jacket, and on the back, it says IS | WAS | EVER WILL BE in a vertical line. That shirt rules. Between that and the Chavo-as-Jack-Torrance t-shirt, people need to start re-printing more obscure WCW-era t-shirts so that I can purchase them. Anyway, Bret shakes hands with both guys before the match and wishes them luck. These fellas jaw at one another a bit. Hogan gets an early roll-up, but he takes Sting right into the ropes. That’s not his game, really. They trade arm wringers, and boy, I really don’t think Hogan should be wrestling more than five or six times a year at this point. He needs to be on that Roddy Piper deal. Hogan does a creaky drop toehold because his back is probably already trying to give up on the concept of helping the rest of his body move. Whatever, man, this is dull stuff. Hogan jaws at some fans in the front row, but Winston-Salem is mostly silent. Hogan hits a running clothesline, and the crowd barely reacts other than some faint boos. Hogan hits some more mediocre offense, lands a vertical suplex, and is surprised to find that Sting has Stung Up and even does the Hogan finger wag to mock the guy. Unlike Bogdan Bogdanovich mocking a courtside-seated Carmelo Anthony with Anthony’s own hand sign after hitting a shot in the U.S./Serbia Olympic men’s basketball semifinals, though, Sting doesn’t choke victory away like a chump. Instead, he…uh…gets beaten up at ringside and looks like he might choke victory away like a chump. This obligatory ringside brawl, done in slow motion and with low impact, does nothing for me. It strikes me that this show is what happens when you’ve destroyed your midcard and particularly when you’ve booked your cruiserweight division and TV title scene into the ground. Those two things provided a ton of good undercard material on PPV from 1996 through 1998, but neglect means that the undercard is as much of a drowsy jaunt as the main event stuff is. Does it hurt that once again, Ric Flair isn’t on this card? Sure. Winston-Salem in particular would go nuts for him after he ate a cage door shot and then didn't show up at all on the last two Fall Brawl PPVs. Does it hurt that Scott Steiner and Randy Savage aren’t here to multiply the crazification factor? Absolutely. But WCW has entirely too much talent to miss those three guys like they have tonight. The reason that I have time to opine on this is because Hogan is in control for so much of this match, and he’s all back rakes and shitty punches. Hogan is human melatonin at this point. Just get to the end. That’s all that matters, anyway. We know there’s going to be fuckery because the angle has revolved around it and because WCW rarely does clean main event matches. Sting gets some control, tries two Stinger Splashes, hits them, and then tries a third. He misses; Hogan hits the big boot and legdrop, but DDP runs in, knocks down the ref, and hits Hogan with a Diamond Cutter. Page drags Hogan onto Sting, and the ref counts, but Hogan kicks out at two. Page dispatches of the ref with a Diamond Cutter; Hogan gets up and faces off with Page, but Bret runs in and attacks DDP, taking him out of the ring and bashing him around at ringside. Then, oh my goodness, Sid runs in and is easily dispatched of. Good to know the new U.S. Champion who is supposed to be a threat to Goldberg is so easily turned aside. Lex Luger next runs in holding a baseball bat and drops it as Hogan takes care of him. Sting grabs the bat and uses it on Hogan to, oops, a babyface pop! Sting wraps Hogan in a Scorpion Deathlock and Charles Robinson, the backup ref, awards the match to Sting and, oops, another huge babyface pop! Sting and Luger hug while the crowd cheers. HAHAHAHA, why did the booking committee think that, after years of Hogan fucking mainstay babyface Sting over with cheap shot bullshit tactics, longtime WCW fans would feel bad about Sting doing the same right back? I feel triumphant right now. Heenan laughs about Hogan being the one to get double-crossed by Sting for once. Yeah, that’s pretty much how a whole lot of WCW fans are going to feel about that one, and it’s your ostensibly heel commentator making the point. BWAHAHA In spite of getting a nice bit of glee out of Sting doing what he did to the Hulkster, this is a show that I’m going to forget existed by next week. Even Winston-Salem, an excellent bunch of WCW fans if there ever were any, was mostly bored by the proceedings. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SirSmUgly Posted August 11 Author Share Posted August 11 Show #206 – 13 September 1999 “The one that seems suspiciously the same as the previous ones for the most part” I’m pretty excited to see a) heel Sting and if he actually gets booed consistently, and b) whatever this Kevin Sullivan-led holding committee does in the next four or six weeks before Vinnie Ru comes through and crushes the buildings. And by “crushes the buildings,” I mean “runs creative into the ground again.” Let me add that c), I want to see whether Nash or Russo is the worse head booker. I’m sure Russo has it in him to book a PPV more diabolically than Nash booked Bash at the Beach 1999, but he’s gonna have to really pull out all the stops to be that bad. Oh, goody! We’re still in North Carolina. I want to see if a traditional WCW market will boo Sting and cheer Hulk Hogan. WCW in 1999 has nonsensically turned guys heel who the crowd desperately wants to cheer. First Flair, then Sting, and I think they turn Bret AGAIN at some point toward the end of the year. Oh WCW, you are so dumb. Hell, I think turning Nash heel randomly should count as well. Why in hell did Nash decide to turn heel when he did? Utterly baffling. Page is the only guy who made sense for a heel turn after Scott Steiner sonned him so bad in the ring (kayfabe) and on the mic (shoot) that the crowd turned on him. Recap (which plays the Nitro theme over the top of the audio): Sid spoils last week’s Benoit/Malenko number one contendership match; Benoit and Malenko will hook it up again to open the show, which I guess counts as a HOT CRUISERWEIGHT OPENER, almost, if you squint a bit. I’ll take it considering it’s 1999 WCW. So, the winer of this match has to turn right back around and face Sting later tonight, as far as I can tell. Shane Douglas and Saturn finally figured out that they should patrol the ring to keep anyone from running in. Benoit and Malenko do some okay opening chain wrestling; Benoit lands an enziguri, but it means nothing as Malenko mechanically works through a bunch of counters that feel nothing like a competitive fight before spilling to ringside with Benoit. They throw punches at each other, but Douglas and Saturn break it up, calm things down, and get them in the ring before they get counted out. Back in the ring, Malenko hits a hip toss into an armbar. Benoit tries to roll out of it, but Malenko also rolls through on his roll-throughs and keeps control; Benoit switches to using power rather than guile and lifts Malenko, then topples backward and slams him to the mat. Both men get to their feet, where Benoit lands a lariat for two. Benoit hits some chops and tries a dropkick; he misses, and Malenko snatches his leg and rolls through into a legbar that Benoit breaks up by grabbing the ropes. Malenko has switched his focus to Benoit’s knee and locks on a standing grapevine, then eventually transitions into a full legbar on the mat, though again, Benoit gets the ropes. Malenko gets Benoit to standing and tries to run a bit, but when Benoit reverses a corner whip, Malenko tries to leap over the ropes and hit something from the top rope; Benoit stops him and hits a superplex. After a standing ten count, both men struggle up and hit a double-clothesline; they end up covering one another, and Silverman counts a double-pin that both kick out of at two. Both men then trade victory roll attempts for two; Benoit tries rolling Germans, but Malenko gets two off countering the second German into a victory roll for two. Malenko tries to follow up, but gets tossed chest-first into the corner; he stumbles into a back suplex. Benoit signals for a diving headbutt, but Malenko catches him up top and tries to hit a superplex of his own that Benoit is able to roll through and cradle Malenko upon landing to counter for a three-count and a World Heavyweight Championship spot. Malenko congratulates Benoit on his victory. That match was perfectly fine. They tried to do a lot of counter-counter-counter stuff, but it really came off as mechanical and, to paraphrase Peter Griffin, this match sort of insisted upon itself, if that makes sense. Gene Okerlund introduces Ric Flair, and do you think that Winston-Salem is pissed that WCW waited until the night AFTER Fall Brawl to trot Flair out to the ring for two years in a row? Who the fuck in the Turner/WCW front office hated the poor souls in Winston-Salem so much? Flair rants about how dope his life is right now and claims that he is FREE AT LAST. He must be dreaming because he’s still in WCW and not the WWF like he apparently wanted to be. Maybe he's just happy about Bischoff being gone. Anyway, he calls Hogan out for a future bout and then turns his attention to Sting. He says that when Sting came in, Sting was “the franchise,” but Flair was and always has been “the man.” Flair tries to pretend that he’s disappointed by Sting hitting Hogan with a bat to win the title, but the crowd popped when he mentioned it. Sting and Lex Luger come to the ring, and look, if you’re going to try to get this Sting turn to stick, you’d probably need Ric Flair to be a babyface in North Carolina against Sting to make it happen. But no, Sting raises the world title and gets applause! Well, let’s see what happens next. Flair’s like GET OUTTA HERE, THIS IS MY SEGMENT, but Sting grabs a mic and talks anyway. Sting rightfully points out that Flair fucked him over like fifty-eleven times in the past decade. Flair’s face is like, Uh, yeah, let’s not bring that up. Sting shows Flair some love for being his greatest rival and a guy who helped mold him. Sting basically is like that old anti-marijuana ad from my childhood: IT WAS YOU, ALRIGHT! I LEARNED [TO CHEAT] BY WATCHING YOU. Ric Flairs who backstab wrestlers raise Stings who backstab wrestlers. Sting says that because of what he owes to Flair, Flair will be allowed leave the ring without getting his ass whipped. Now, look, this isn’t gonna work because Sting is one hundred percent right about everything. Ric insults Sting’s delivery of “kiss stealin’,” etc., then pretends to leave peacefully before coming back to the ring and yelling NOT because it’s 1999, you see. Actually, maybe Sting is ninety-nine percent right, because he says that Flair and everybody else has been in power, and Lex convinced him that it’s time for them to run with the ball. Sting, you had the presidency and you gave it up, my brother in pro graps. Anyway, the crowd thinks LUGER SUCKS as Luger tells Flair that Gretzky, Jordan, Elway, and Sanders went out gracefully this year – holy shit, all those guys retired in 1999? – and then suggests that maybe it’s Flair’s time to do the same because otherwise, he’s fixing to get his ass beat. Flair says he thought about retiring, but he saw last week’s show, and WCW badly needs him. Then, he questions Sting about what Sting’s beef with him is and how Luger fits into this beef. He respects Sting, but he’s not stepping aside for anybody, he reiterates, and that’s when Luger clocks him and Luger and Sting put the boots to Flair. Luger signals for a Torture Rack, lands a clothesline, and in fact racks Flair. What a cool move the Torture Rack is. I love that thing. Sting follows up with a Scorpion Deathlock, but here come Hulk Hogan and Bret Hart, who are friends again, I suppose. Well, this segment did its job; Hogan gets applause for running in to make the save. Luger and Sting decide that discretion is the better part of valor and vacate the premises. That segment did get the reaction that the bookers knew they had to try and get, and I’m intrigued to see where Sting/Flair/Luger goes. It was a long talking segment, but I ultimately liked it. Wait, no, Hogan talks for a bit, so that brings things down. Hogan pretends that he thinks what Sting and Luger did to Flair is egregious like I forgot what happened in the first three months of this year w/r/t Hogan doing his own egregious shit to Flair and Flair's kid. He challenges Luger and Sting to a tag match against himself and Bret Hart, and he shows how badass he is by saying “ass” five times and also the word “damned.” WHOA, THE HULKSTER’S ‘90S TUDE IS TOO MUCH, DUDE. We swing backstage where Sting and Luger talk about how Luger’s still injured and can’t wrestle, so they won’t agree to the match. This was better before Hogan talked, but it was still a solid bit of talking overall. After some stills from that mediocre Fall Brawl main event, we see Berlyn’s Benz roll up. Berlyn’s getting his match against Buff Bagwell tonight. Hey, standing behind Berlyn, is that THE WALL, BROTHER?!? I believe it is! Annoying-ass Riki Rachtman is out here to do this Nitro Girls search segment. Thank goodness, Kimberly and Spice come out here and are way more pleasant to listen to. There’s a video and they picked one of the ladies from Miami and are picking a lady from Utah or North Carolina or somewhere. Look, if you’re going to do this, maybe don’t stack it right on top of a long talking segment. Who formats this show? J.J. Dillon is on the phone trying to find out if Lex Luger is cleared to wrestle. In fact, Luger has been cleared for the past three weeks. Whoopsie! There are some athletes in the front row, but the only one I recognize is Eric Montross. Man, did I watch a lot of basketball in the ‘90s. More Fall Brawl stills, this time Sid/Benoit, lead into our second match at forty-five minutes into the show. That match is Erik Watts versus Disco Inferno. Since Sid was very recently mentioned, let’s see if these fellas wrestle to a finish other than a no contest. Watts and his wide pants land an early uranage, but Disco quickly kinda-sorta lands an inverted atomic drop, and then Watts is confused about how to bump for a swinging neckbreaker, so that’s about how things are going right now. This match is too back and forth for me because Watts isn’t very good, even though he's trying hard. I don’t know, if I’m Disco, I’m not taking turnbuckle powerbombs for this goof. They mock each other’s celebrations and, uh, did the truck start sweetening the crowd right in the middle of this match? What the heck is up with the audio? Production cuts to a BORING…WHERE’S SID? sign as Disco finishes Watts with a Chartbuster that we barely cut back to in time while Sid, in split-screen, cuts a promo that we can’t even hear, and then it goes full-screen to Sid, and then it cuts away from him in mid-mutter so that Disco can talk about how great he is and Sid can come in and attack him. Craig Leathers, you are a fucking goof. This was so bad in every way that I think it merits inclusion in a list, and not in one of the good ones, either. Anyway, Sid cuts a promo in which he declares to be smarter than everyone thinks he is and hits some powerbombs. Seriously, that’s it. I have no clue where they’re taking the U.S. and TV titles, or the Tag Team titles, for that matter. I can at least see where they can make a babyface cruiserweight by having them overcome Lenny Lane and Lodi working in tandem to cheat, and theoretically, they could make someone by having that guy beat Rick Steiner. The problem is that they haven’t built a babyface that is currently positioned beneath Steiner to elevate with a TV title win [Editor's note: WCW found a way to prove me wrong in a sense, but still fuck it up], and that goes double for Sid and the U.S. title. Boy, this company has booked its titles into the ground. Awful. Hey, Silver King! He’s an excellent performer. Double hey, it’s Norman Smiley! He’s also an excellent performer! And wouldn’t you know, they have a fun little TV match to start. They trade moves, and Silver King hits a flipping legdrop, but runs himself into a nice lariat. Smiley dances a bit, then as Silver King tries to roll through for a flash pinfall attempt, Norman catches him, rides him, and slaps his ass. Then, because Bischoff is gone and Turner S&P is distracted, he hits a Big Wiggle that is interrupted by Silver King clobbering him from behind. Silver King even hits a springboard moonsault, and *sigh* Sid is back out here. You know what, why do I even care? I can’t believe that I got excited about this match. I thought I was safe since Sid had already come out here and had only been coming out once to do this run-in garbage on the latest shows. WCW, you are not going to make me hate Sid, but you are going to make me dread his appearances in the short term. I feel like since Kevin Sullivan passed away the other day, I shouldn’t shit on him from the future, but *SteveBuscemifuckallthat.gif*, FIX THIS SHITTY BOOKING, SULLY, DAMMIT. Lord Steven Regal and Squire Dave Taylor hit the ring for a tag match against the Windham Brothers (w/Curt Hennig and Curly Bill). Regal and Kendall start the match and fight over a full nelson while Tony S. and Heenan talk about Curly Bill’s resemblance to Cleavon Little's character in Blazing Saddles, and yes, that was the joke last week, Heenan. Man, I love Blazing Saddles. I hope someone cutting a promo on the WTRs drops a “y’know…morons” on them. Anyway, this match exists and is fine. Kendall does okay at keeping up with the standing switches and counters and stuff that the Englishmen like to do. Barry gets in and Regal wrestles rings around him; Hennig gets on the apron and yells at the ref, so Regal clocks Hennig and Taylor throws a punch at him after he falls off the apron. Taylor locks a standing grapevine on Barry and grabs Regal’s hand for leverage, so Kendall rushes in and breaks that up. Barry is able to make a bit of a comeback and lands a back suplex on Regal after the latter tags in; Curly Bill grabs Mickey Jay’s attention so that Hennig can get back on the apron and land a cowbell shot to Regal’s dome. Barry covers for three. That was cromulent. Jimmy Hart leads Jerry Flynn to the ring to the slaughter because Goldberg is escorted to the ring from the back in street clothes. Oh, I see, Iaukea was going to wrestle Flynn, but Goldberg just shoved that little guy right off the call sheet. Goldberg grabs a mic and apologizes (!!) to Jerry Flynn, then politely asks for a few seconds to talk. Huh. What a classy guy! He’s super-annoyed that Sid keeps talking shit and ruining matches. That makes two of us, bud. He gives Sid props for being big and good at wrestling, but he’s sick of Sid running his yap. Wow, Goldberg is like the best babyface ever. This guy rules. I’m on his side. Goldberg points out that Sid’s record is on FRAUD WATCH like it’s Shane Douglas, then threatens to “stomp a hole in [Sid’s] ass.” YEAHHHHHH FUCK SID UP, MOSTLY-POLITE GOLDBERG EXCEPT FOR THE CUSSING! Anyway, Goldberg is going to chill and wait for Sid to get out here, but we go back to the split screen and Sid is like, Nah, I’m going back to the hotel room and ordering room service; I'll wrestle you when I want to wrestle you. Goldberg decides that he’ll get Sid sooner rather than later. That dipshit Jerry Flynn, who lost like five matches to Goldberg as a part of Goldberg’s streak, decides now to attack Goldberg and enjoys a spear, Jackhammer, and a SPLAT. More Fall Brawl stills: Harlem Heat win the tag titles. Harlem Heat’s opponents tonight are this bum-ass team of Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobbs (w/Jimmy Hart). What an awful team. I disagree with bringing Harlem Heat back together and putting the belts on them just to break them up again and feud them more directly, but sweet fuck, PLEASE do not put the tag belts on Morrus and Knobbs. Holy shit, no. Look, I’m already dreading HARLEM HEAT EXPLODING again, but the First Family is complete dogshit and needs to be doing jobs in the lower-midcard to everybody and anybody. I am a fan of Stevie Ray. Huge fan of the guy. Could listen to him jabber on in an interview or on commentary forever. But man, he, Morrus, and Knobbs as three-fourths of this match is a bummer. As with pretty much every tag match they’ve had since getting back together, I’m just waiting for Booker T. to hit a bunch of crisp offense. I genuinely think Booker’s got a top-three missile dropkick all-time. Speaking of dropkicks, Booker lands a dropkick that hits both Morrus and Knobbs and the crowd pops huge, holy shit. I didn’t know North Carolina was fucking with Booker like that. There’s a commercial break here. We come back to Stevie in peril. Jimmy Hart throws punches at Stevie outside the ring while Morrus holds him; Booker chases them away. The whole affair finally gets back into the ring, where Morrus lands a Savage Elbow for two. Morrus and Knobbs tag and then both land running splashes in the corner on Stevie. Stevie finally makes it to his corner when the heels try one double-team maneuver too many and get double-clotheslined. Booker hits the hot tag and fights off both of his opponents. He lands an axe kick on Morrus and a roundhouse kick on Knobbs, then goes up for a missile dropkick. That’s when the Windham Brothers run down and spoil the match; Harlem Heat fight them off and the First Family besides. Huh, Harlem Heat was way over tonight. In one heck of a WCW-ass WCW matchup, the Insane Clown Posse (w/Vampiro) face off in a tag match against the West Hollywood Blondes. This is amazing. Lodi tries to troll the crowd by wearing an East Carolina football jersey instead of wearing a Duke basketball jersey. I mean, that is a woeful failure in heel tactics. No one gives a fuck about East Carolina football, dude, including probably most of the campus of East Carolina. Shameful. So, before the match, a plant runs in and tries to get next to Lodi, and security chases him down. It’s the same plant who has been doing Lodi parties and toppling over the rail these past few weeks. This is dumb. This is such a weird fucking match. Violent J press slams Lane! Shaggy atomic drops Lodi into Lane, who grabs him in a bearhug, and Shaggy dropkicks the whole mass of humanity! The Blondes double-suplex Shaggy damn near into the ropes as an ICP chant fires up! Oh, you know this is going on the Charming Uniquity list. It’s maybe the best example of this type of match. At the point that the Blondes land a combo kneelift/legdrop for two, I’ve decided that I’m so blessed. WCW existed for too short a time, but even at its worst, it gave me gifts like this. Shaggy gets a hot tag, yells WHAT DO YOU GOT at Lenny, and slams him. Tony S. opines that the Posse should maybe get a shot at the tag titles. OH YES, PLEASE book Harlem Heat vs the ICP. The Blondes regain control and hit a double DDT on Shaggy, who surprisingly has solid timing and kicks out around 2.8. The only bad thing about this match is the finish, in which Lodi is supposed to whiff on a crossbody into Shaggy while Lane’s got Shaggy up in a vertical suplex position. He does it, but it is a visual mess of a finish in which Shaggy covers Lane after the clash of heads between the Blondes. They got too creative with that one; I get the idea, but it looked terrible. Chris Benoit gets a WCW World Heavyweight title shot against Sting, who also has to wrestle twice tonight since that tag challenge is on for later. Benoit talks before the match for some reason. He says that after his loss at Fall Brawl, he laid in bed thinking about it, and “all the demons came out.” Well, not ALL the demons, buddy. You still have a few in there you’re saving for later. Benoit thinks that Sid actually tapped out at Fall Brawl, so now we have another “did he tap out or just hit the mat in pain” deal like they did with Benoit, Booker, and the TV title in 1998. Benoit lets it go, and it's funny that he’s going to beat Sid for the big gold in a few months and then we’re going to have a “was his leg under the rope” controversy. Benoit calls Sting out next. We don’t get Sting, who rules. We get Rick Steiner, who sucks. I guess, according to Rick Steiner, Sting just decided, You know what, I won’t be defending the world title tonight even though WCW's championship committee put together a whole battle royal just to get me a challenger tonight, so Steiner challenges Benoit to a TV title match instead. OK, I can see Benoit beating Steiner, even after the loss to Sid. Sure. But look, this is a bullshit bait-and-switch. It fucking SUCKS. Again, why do I care about any of this? Why did I look forward to Benoit/Sting for most of this show? I should have known better. WCW does this fuck shit all the time at this point. They tease shit and hype shit and it’s all Sid run-ins or "bonus" Rick Steiner matches. Steiner does slow brawling and continues to be a detriment to every show he’s on, minus that Thunder where he did some interesting cheating in a tag match. Benoit sells a whole bunch and eats a ton of moves, including an admittedly dope-looking release German where Benoit damn near lands in the cheap seats. The cover only gets two, so Steiner tosses Mickey Jay out of the ring. Get this – GET THIS – Benoit gets like ONE move in, which is a roll-up that gets three while Steiner is still looking at Jay on the floor after tossing him, EXCEPT that Steiner actually kicks out at 2.7 when Jay scrambles back in the ring to count. FUCK OFF, WCW. That was total dogshit. Imagine protecting a bum like Rick Steiner this heavily. Unbelievable. Hype video: The sorry-ass Revolution. What a failed stable. Perry Saturn (w/the Revolution) faces Eddy Guerrero in our next match. I’m done with this show. How badly can one company book its midcard? This is insane. Meanwhile, the WWF manages to book a bunch of midcarders as reasonable threats, though a level or three below the main eventers, with continuing competence. So, before they lock up, Rey Misterio Jr.’s music hits. Yay, Rey is walking under his own power! He comes out with Billy Kidman and Konnan (the latter of whom we haven't seen on television in weeks), who all join everyone from the Revolution at ringside. Are we going to transition into a Revolution/Filthy Animals feud, and if so, who will be the heels? There are guys on each side who people like, or otherwise, I’d say it’s easy: Turn the group that has Shane Douglas in it heel. The match in the ring is fine. Eddy and Saturn go at it, and Eddy locks on a sleeper early. This is when we go to break. No, wait, no break. Tony S., poor guy, having to deal with production. No wait, we are going to break after all. Tony S. is always looking like a jackass due to shoddy production cues, and I feel for him. We come back to an evenly-matched bout. Eddy hits a suplex on his future Radicalz mate, but gets a vertical suplex blocked and reversed. Saturn tries another one, and Eddy leaps out and gets a sleeper, which Saturn reverses into a sleeper, and they decided to work this match around sleepers. That’s interesting, but we missed another sleeper spot during the break according to Tony S., so whatever they’re going for doesn’t quite hit for me. It ends up that Saturn hits an overhead suplex from the top, then rolls over and gets two. They get back to their feet and continue to counter and counter their counters. Saturn manages a flying forearm and goes for a DVD, but Eddy counters it into a Frankensteiner, then lands a suplex and goes up for a Frog Splash. He dives and rolls through as he sees Saturn move. He runs back at Saturn, who puts him on his shoulders for another DVD attempt. Eddy slips out of the back and tries to roll up Saturn, but Saturn sits down on it and gets three. Eddy is unhappy about the count, and the Revolution and Filthy Animals end up facing each other down in the ring as the segment ends. What we saw was solid, but that match probably needed a) three or four more minutes and b) not to have a break in the middle of it. Berlyn (w/Uta and THE WALL, BROTHER) comes to the ring to face Buff Bagwell. Tony S. is SHOCKED that Uta joins commentary for some reason. Buff Bagwell, who is only near-worthless because he does have value as a heel, makes his way down the ramp as Uta speaks American English-accented German on commentary. Buff stinks and Alex Wright deserves better. This match is fine, mostly because Wright eventually sort of figured things out and is a solid heel worker at this point in his career. Buff hits three clotheslines, then goes up top, but Berlyn kicks the ropes and crotches Bagwell, then lands a superplex. Berlyn stomps Buff and THE WALL, BROTHER sizes up Buff for a punch, but that dope Billy Silverman actually spots him and warns him away. Berlyn scores a two count, then locks a sleeper on Buff, who fights up. God, Buff sucks. He was in poor position to take a dropkick earlier and then is in poor position to take a clothesline. This guy is complete ass. Just awful. Please turn him heel again. Silverman catches THE WALL, BROTHER sizing Buff up for a second time, and Buff makes a comeback shortly after with punches, buckle bonks, and a diving lariat. Buff lands some more offense, including a swinging neckbreaker, and throws a few corner punches. Buff presses his advantage, and runs toward Berlyn, who ducks and hits a Hot Shot; THE WALL, BROTHER avoids being spotted by the ref a third time and punches Buff in the head as Buff hangs over the rope, which sends Buff stumbling backward into a reverse neckbreaker that ends the match. Buff couldn’t have just done this job last night? What a dope. Hype video: Sting’s breaking bad, everybody! Or maybe he’s just doing to Hogan what Hogan did to him. I love this video, though, which intimates that WCW fucking over Sting back in 1996 led him down a dark road. Video narrator, talking about Sting’s change in attire in 1996: BUT WAS THE BLACKEST CHANGE IN HIS HEART?! This video goes full conspiracy, and it’s actually enjoyably bananas. It asserts that Sting might well have been driving the white Hummer and even that Sting came up with the Fake nWo Sting and might be contracting that guy again to confuse and harm his enemies. I actually dug it, it’s so absurd. Michael Buffer introduces our tag team main event between Sting/Lex Luger and Hulk Hogan/Bret Hart. Luger comes out in street clothes – hey, he did claim to have not bought his gear bag earlier as he feigned injury, so that’s a nice touch. Meanwhile, Bret and Hogan are loosely aligned again for some reason. Bret attacks Luger while Hogan goes after Sting, and we get an opening brawl outside the ring. Hogan and Sting make it into the ring and I guess are the legal men. Sting sells a lot for Hogan punches, which I guess is exactly what he did back when he was the babyface and Hogan was the heel. Same song, second verse/A little bit louder and a whole lot worse, and all that. Bret tags in and proceeds to have a sequence with Sting that is a million times better than any sequence they had while they were feuding in September and October of 1998. Yeah, let’s run that one back in the next three months before Goldberg cryptically tells the Hitman to WATCH THE KICK. They end up crashing into one another with a double-clothesline, and in a neat spot, Sting gets up first and tags Luger. I was going to say that I was surprised that Hart didn’t move at all in that time, but he was playing possum and moves when Luger tries an elbowdrop, then easily makes the tag to give Hogan a clearer initial advantage. See, it’s the little things about Hart’s work that rule so hard. Luger controls Hogan after a burst of offense anyway, and Hogan is in peril. Sting tags in and launches from the top with a nice splash that only gets two. Sting attacks Hogan’s knee, a popular target in kayfabe since Hogan had a shoot MCL issue to take care of. The nominal heels, though only Luger seems to be fully accepted as one, attack Hogan’s knee. The fans do chant for Hogan while Luger’s in control, but are reluctant to cheer when he comes back against Sting. Heh heh, WCW bookers, you fellas love booking yourselves into corners. Into stupid, stupid corners. Hogan once again has to come back against Luger, who lands a shot to the knee and tags out. Sting comes in and hits a suplex, but Hogan no-sells it, so Sting has to go back to targeting the knee. This match is fine, mostly because the targeted leg attack from the heels is solid and whenever Bret’s in there, he’s so smooth and seems reinvigorated as a babyface. Hogan eventually bails himself out of a jam by hitting a double-clothesline on his opponents and getting a hot tag to the Hitman. Bret takes care of both guys, and the crowd was excited for the hot tag, but they’re not fully engaged for Bret taking it to Sting, though he gets some cheers as he goes through the 5MoD and makes a series of pinfall attempts on Sting. But you know and I know that none of this matters because it’s WCW and there’s never going to be a clean finish to this thing. On cue, DDP runs down and tries to enter the ring with a baseball bat. Hogan meets him as he enters and makes him drop it, but Luger picks it up and waffles the Hitman in the face as Hart has Sting in the Sharpshooter; Sting covers for three. A trainer runs down to help Bret sell the facial injury as the heels make their escape. Turn Sting heel and book your promising midcarders (at least the ones that you haven’t ran off to Stamford yet) into the ground. I thought Bischoff wasn’t in charge anymore? -3 out of 5 Stinger Splashes 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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